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WEBVTT 1 00:00:35.850 --> 00:00:37.210 This is your lunch, OK? 2 00:00:37.410 --> 00:00:39.499 Now, I put a dollar in there so you can buy some milk. 3 00:00:39.580 --> 00:00:41.399 You can ask one of the big kids where to do that. 4 00:00:41.480 --> 00:00:44.069 You remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you, just in case. 5 00:00:44.150 --> 00:00:46.640 Put it in your pocket, I don't want you to lose it. 6 00:00:47.120 --> 00:00:49.610 OK? You ready? 7 00:00:50.330 --> 00:00:52.090 I think so. 8 00:00:54.230 --> 00:00:56.160 It's Cady's big day. 9 00:00:56.600 --> 00:00:59.684 I guess it's natural for parents to cry on their kid's first day of school. 10 00:00:59.800 --> 00:01:02.460 But, you know, this usually happens when the kid is 5. 11 00:01:02.670 --> 00:01:06.010 I'm 16 and until today, I was home-schooled. 12 00:01:06.210 --> 00:01:09.180 I know what you're thinking. "Home-schooled kids are freaks." 13 00:01:09.380 --> 00:01:14.010 X-Y-L-O-C-A-R-P. Xylocarp. 14 00:01:14.220 --> 00:01:16.510 Or that we're weirdly religious or something. 15 00:01:16.790 --> 00:01:21.220 And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle 16 00:01:21.420 --> 00:01:23.820 so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. 17 00:01:24.030 --> 00:01:25.820 And the homosexuals. 18 00:01:26.030 --> 00:01:27.430 - Amen. - Amen. 19 00:01:27.630 --> 00:01:29.030 But my family's totally normal. 20 00:01:29.230 --> 00:01:32.200 Except for the fact that both my parents are research zoologists 21 00:01:32.500 --> 00:01:34.530 and we've spent the last 12 years in Africa. 22 00:01:34.840 --> 00:01:36.100 I had a great life. 23 00:01:36.440 --> 00:01:38.929 But then my mom got offered tenure at Northwestern University. 24 00:01:39.010 --> 00:01:43.240 So it was goodbye Africa and hello high school. 25 00:01:45.550 --> 00:01:47.140 I'm OK. Sorry. 26 00:01:47.350 --> 00:01:48.750 I'll be careful. 27 00:02:14.640 --> 00:02:16.010 Hi. 28 00:02:16.210 --> 00:02:18.080 I don't know if anyone told you about me. 29 00:02:18.280 --> 00:02:20.580 I'm a new student here. My name is Cady Heron. 30 00:02:20.780 --> 00:02:23.650 Talk to me again and I'll kick your ass. 31 00:02:28.120 --> 00:02:31.690 You don't wanna sit there. Kristen Hadley's boyfriend is gonna sit there. 32 00:02:32.830 --> 00:02:34.690 Hey, baby. 33 00:02:41.540 --> 00:02:42.770 He farts a lot. 34 00:02:52.210 --> 00:02:53.910 Hey, everybody. 35 00:02:54.350 --> 00:02:57.580 Oh, God, I'm so sorry. 36 00:02:58.090 --> 00:03:00.950 It's not you. I'm bad luck. 37 00:03:05.460 --> 00:03:07.190 Ms. Norbury? 38 00:03:07.460 --> 00:03:09.119 My T-shirt's stuck to my sweater, isn't it? 39 00:03:09.200 --> 00:03:11.130 - Yeah. - Fantastic. 40 00:03:11.330 --> 00:03:12.664 Is everything all right in here? 41 00:03:12.840 --> 00:03:16.100 - Oh, yeah. - So... 42 00:03:16.310 --> 00:03:18.400 - ...how was your summer? - I got divorced. 43 00:03:19.810 --> 00:03:21.570 My carpal tunnel came back. 44 00:03:22.210 --> 00:03:25.580 - I win. - Yes, you do. 45 00:03:25.780 --> 00:03:27.405 Well, I just wanted to let everyone know 46 00:03:27.550 --> 00:03:29.350 that we have a new student joining us. 47 00:03:29.690 --> 00:03:32.280 She just moved here all the way from Africa. 48 00:03:32.490 --> 00:03:34.050 Welcome. 49 00:03:34.760 --> 00:03:37.520 - I'm from Michigan. - Great. 50 00:03:38.490 --> 00:03:40.460 Her name is Cady. Cady Heron. 51 00:03:40.660 --> 00:03:42.220 - Where are you, Cady? - That's me. 52 00:03:42.430 --> 00:03:44.990 - It's pronounced like Katie. - My apologies. 53 00:03:45.200 --> 00:03:46.830 I have a nephew named Anfernee, 54 00:03:47.040 --> 00:03:49.330 and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. 55 00:03:49.540 --> 00:03:51.489 Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact 56 00:03:51.570 --> 00:03:53.200 that my sister named him Anfernee. 57 00:03:53.780 --> 00:03:55.440 Well, welcome, Cady. 58 00:03:55.640 --> 00:03:58.610 - And thank you, Mr. Duvall. - Well, thank you. 59 00:03:58.810 --> 00:04:00.210 And... 60 00:04:00.420 --> 00:04:03.350 ...if you need anything or if you wanna talk to somebody... 61 00:04:03.550 --> 00:04:04.780 Thanks. 62 00:04:05.120 --> 00:04:08.390 Maybe some other time, when my shirt isn't see-through. 63 00:04:08.960 --> 00:04:10.550 OK. 64 00:04:11.330 --> 00:04:13.960 OK. Good day, everybody. 65 00:04:15.230 --> 00:04:17.430 The first day of school was a blur. 66 00:04:17.630 --> 00:04:20.400 A stressful, surreal blur. 67 00:04:20.600 --> 00:04:22.760 I got in trouble for the most random things. 68 00:04:22.970 --> 00:04:25.670 - Where are you going? - Oh, I have to go to the bathroom. 69 00:04:26.480 --> 00:04:27.700 You need the lavatory pass. 70 00:04:28.310 --> 00:04:30.180 OK. Can I have the lavatory pass? 71 00:04:30.980 --> 00:04:32.470 Nice try. Have a seat. 72 00:04:33.020 --> 00:04:35.780 I had never lived in a world where adults didn't trust me, 73 00:04:35.990 --> 00:04:37.509 where they were always yelling at me. 74 00:04:37.590 --> 00:04:39.210 - Don't read ahead! - No green pen! 75 00:04:39.420 --> 00:04:40.580 No food in class! 76 00:04:51.730 --> 00:04:53.147 I told you, I saw the whole thing. 77 00:04:53.240 --> 00:04:54.900 - Everything. - Did you see nipple? 78 00:04:55.100 --> 00:04:58.670 - It only counts if you saw a nipple. - That's true, dude. 79 00:04:58.870 --> 00:05:00.900 I had a lot of friends in Africa. 80 00:05:04.450 --> 00:05:05.670 What? 81 00:05:05.880 --> 00:05:07.870 But so far, none in Evanston. 82 00:05:22.930 --> 00:05:25.920 Hey. How was your first day? 83 00:05:38.880 --> 00:05:40.410 Is that your natural hair color? 84 00:05:40.620 --> 00:05:42.850 - Yeah. - It's gorgeous. 85 00:05:43.050 --> 00:05:44.280 Thank you. 86 00:05:44.720 --> 00:05:46.240 See, this is the color I want. 87 00:05:46.460 --> 00:05:48.920 This is Damian. He's almost too gay to function. 88 00:05:49.990 --> 00:05:52.260 - Nice to meet you. - Nice wig, Janis. 89 00:05:52.460 --> 00:05:54.790 - What's it made of? - Your mom's chest hair! 90 00:05:55.000 --> 00:05:58.060 - I'm Janis. - Hi, I'm Cady. 91 00:05:58.600 --> 00:06:00.970 Do you guys know where Room G 14 is? 92 00:06:02.670 --> 00:06:05.070 "Health, Tuesday/Thursday, Room G 14." 93 00:06:05.270 --> 00:06:07.670 I think that's in the back building. 94 00:06:07.880 --> 00:06:10.589 - Yeah, that's in the back building. - Yeah, we'll take you there. 95 00:06:11.180 --> 00:06:12.740 Thanks. 96 00:06:13.520 --> 00:06:17.280 Watch out, please! New meat coming through! 97 00:06:17.850 --> 00:06:20.520 "Health. Spanish." 98 00:06:20.720 --> 00:06:22.780 You're taking 12th-grade calculus? 99 00:06:22.990 --> 00:06:25.760 - Yeah, I like math. - Why? 100 00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:27.860 Because it's the same in every country. 101 00:06:28.760 --> 00:06:31.700 That's beautiful. This girl is deep. 102 00:06:32.030 --> 00:06:33.930 Where's the back building? 103 00:06:34.470 --> 00:06:36.440 It burned down in 1987. 104 00:06:36.940 --> 00:06:39.130 Won't we get in some sort of trouble for this? 105 00:06:39.440 --> 00:06:41.170 Why would we get you into trouble? 106 00:06:41.380 --> 00:06:43.070 We're your friends. 107 00:06:43.650 --> 00:06:47.140 I know it's wrong to skip class, but Janis said we were friends. 108 00:06:47.350 --> 00:06:49.940 And I was in no position to pass up friends. 109 00:06:50.150 --> 00:06:53.350 I guess I'll never know what I missed on that first day of health class. 110 00:06:53.560 --> 00:06:57.460 Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die. 111 00:06:57.660 --> 00:06:59.369 Don't have sex in the missionary position, 112 00:06:59.560 --> 00:07:00.990 don't have sex standing up. 113 00:07:01.830 --> 00:07:03.660 Just don't do it, promise? 114 00:07:04.800 --> 00:07:06.560 OK, everybody take some rubbers. 115 00:07:06.770 --> 00:07:08.760 Why didn't they just keep home-schooling you? 116 00:07:08.970 --> 00:07:10.700 They wanted me to get socialized. 117 00:07:10.910 --> 00:07:13.500 Oh, you'll get socialized, all right. A little slice like you. 118 00:07:13.840 --> 00:07:16.810 - What are you talking about? - You're a regulation hottie. 119 00:07:17.150 --> 00:07:19.010 - What? - Own it. 120 00:07:19.210 --> 00:07:20.769 How do you spell your name again, Cady? 121 00:07:20.850 --> 00:07:23.180 It's Cady. C-A-D-Y. 122 00:07:23.650 --> 00:07:25.090 Yeah, I'm gonna call you Cady. 123 00:07:25.490 --> 00:07:29.390 In the name of all that is holy, will you look at Karen Smith's gym clothes? 124 00:07:29.590 --> 00:07:32.250 Of course all The Plastics are in the same gym class. 125 00:07:32.630 --> 00:07:35.120 - Who are The Plastics? - They're teen royalty. 126 00:07:35.330 --> 00:07:38.530 If North Shore was Us Weekly, they would always be on the cover. 127 00:07:38.730 --> 00:07:40.330 That one there, that's Karen Smith. 128 00:07:40.540 --> 00:07:43.900 She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. 129 00:07:44.540 --> 00:07:46.600 Damian sat next to her in English last year. 130 00:07:46.810 --> 00:07:48.610 She asked me how to spell "orange". 131 00:07:49.680 --> 00:07:52.550 And that little one? That's Gretchen Wieners. 132 00:07:52.750 --> 00:07:55.240 She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Strudel. 133 00:07:55.450 --> 00:07:57.169 Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business. 134 00:07:57.250 --> 00:07:59.080 She knows everything about everyone. 135 00:07:59.290 --> 00:08:02.050 That's why her hair is so big. It's full of secrets. 136 00:08:03.190 --> 00:08:06.890 And evil takes a human form in Regina George. 137 00:08:07.100 --> 00:08:10.350 Don't be fooled, because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing, 138 00:08:10.500 --> 00:08:15.630 slut-faced ho-bag. But in reality, she is so much more than that. 139 00:08:15.840 --> 00:08:17.070 She's the queen bee. 140 00:08:17.270 --> 00:08:19.830 The star. Those other two are just her little workers. 141 00:08:20.040 --> 00:08:21.630 Regina George. 142 00:08:21.840 --> 00:08:24.780 How do I even begin to explain Regina George? 143 00:08:24.980 --> 00:08:26.740 Regina George is flawless. 144 00:08:26.950 --> 00:08:29.210 She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus. 145 00:08:29.420 --> 00:08:31.440 I hear her hair's insured for $10,000. 146 00:08:31.650 --> 00:08:34.450 I hear she does car commercials. In Japan. 147 00:08:34.660 --> 00:08:36.390 Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues. 148 00:08:36.590 --> 00:08:38.257 One time, she met John Stamos on a plane. 149 00:08:38.430 --> 00:08:39.920 And he told her she was pretty. 150 00:08:40.130 --> 00:08:42.150 One time, she punched me in the face. 151 00:08:42.360 --> 00:08:43.990 It was awesome. 152 00:08:44.200 --> 00:08:47.330 She always looks fierce. She always wins Spring Fling Queen. 153 00:08:47.540 --> 00:08:49.500 - Who cares? - I care. 154 00:08:49.710 --> 00:08:51.659 Every year, the seniors throw this dance for the underclassmen 155 00:08:51.740 --> 00:08:53.000 called The Spring Fling. 156 00:08:53.210 --> 00:08:55.377 And whomsoever is elected Spring Fling King and Queen 157 00:08:55.510 --> 00:08:57.499 automatically becomes head of the Student Activities Committee. 158 00:08:57.580 --> 00:09:00.410 And since I am an active member of the Student Activities Committee, 159 00:09:00.620 --> 00:09:02.610 I would say, yeah, I care. 160 00:09:02.820 --> 00:09:05.910 Damian, you've truly out-gayed yourself. 161 00:09:07.760 --> 00:09:10.880 Here. This map is gonna be your guide to North Shore. 162 00:09:11.090 --> 00:09:13.580 Now, where you sit in the cafeteria is crucial 163 00:09:13.800 --> 00:09:15.200 because you got everybody there. 164 00:09:15.400 --> 00:09:17.960 You got your freshmen, ROTC guys, 165 00:09:18.170 --> 00:09:21.100 preps, JV jocks, 166 00:09:21.300 --> 00:09:23.530 Asian nerds, 167 00:09:24.040 --> 00:09:25.770 cool Asians, 168 00:09:26.140 --> 00:09:27.440 varsity jocks, 169 00:09:27.810 --> 00:09:29.840 unfriendly black hotties, 170 00:09:30.380 --> 00:09:32.370 girls who eat their feelings, 171 00:09:32.780 --> 00:09:34.840 girls who don't eat anything, 172 00:09:35.050 --> 00:09:36.520 desperate wannabes, 173 00:09:36.950 --> 00:09:38.210 burnouts, 174 00:09:38.520 --> 00:09:40.490 sexually active band geeks, 175 00:09:40.720 --> 00:09:42.990 the greatest people you will ever meet 176 00:09:43.330 --> 00:09:46.760 and the worst. Beware of The Plastics. 177 00:09:49.300 --> 00:09:51.660 Hey. We're doing a lunchtime survey of new students. 178 00:09:51.870 --> 00:09:53.162 Can you answer a few questions? 179 00:09:53.540 --> 00:09:56.300 - OK. - Is your muffin buttered? 180 00:09:57.040 --> 00:09:58.440 What? 181 00:09:59.310 --> 00:10:02.710 Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin? 182 00:10:02.910 --> 00:10:04.880 - My what? - Is he bothering you? 183 00:10:05.080 --> 00:10:07.050 Jason, why are you such a skeez? 184 00:10:07.250 --> 00:10:08.810 I'm just being friendly. 185 00:10:09.380 --> 00:10:10.939 You were supposed to call me last night. 186 00:10:11.020 --> 00:10:14.150 Jason. You do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen 187 00:10:14.360 --> 00:10:17.850 and then scam on some poor, innocent girl right in front of us three days later. 188 00:10:18.060 --> 00:10:19.530 She's not interested. 189 00:10:19.730 --> 00:10:21.022 Do you wanna have sex with him? 190 00:10:21.830 --> 00:10:24.770 - No, thank you. - Good. So it's settled. 191 00:10:24.970 --> 00:10:26.560 So you can go shave your back now. 192 00:10:27.040 --> 00:10:28.630 Bye, Jason. 193 00:10:28.840 --> 00:10:30.670 Bitch. 194 00:10:30.870 --> 00:10:33.710 Wait. Sit down. 195 00:10:35.080 --> 00:10:36.700 Seriously, sit down. 196 00:10:39.950 --> 00:10:41.640 Why don't I know you? 197 00:10:41.850 --> 00:10:44.250 I'm new. I just moved here from Africa. 198 00:10:44.590 --> 00:10:46.920 - What? - I used to be home-schooled. 199 00:10:47.120 --> 00:10:48.490 Wait. What? 200 00:10:48.690 --> 00:10:50.450 - My mom taught me at home... - No, no. 201 00:10:50.660 --> 00:10:52.249 I know what home-school is. I'm not retarded. 202 00:10:52.330 --> 00:10:54.539 So you've actually never been to a real school before? 203 00:10:56.100 --> 00:10:57.620 Shut up. 204 00:10:58.530 --> 00:10:59.930 Shut up. 205 00:11:00.570 --> 00:11:03.040 - I didn't say anything. - Home-schooled. 206 00:11:03.240 --> 00:11:05.570 - That's really interesting. - Thanks. 207 00:11:05.770 --> 00:11:07.240 But you're, like, really pretty. 208 00:11:07.610 --> 00:11:09.670 - Thank you. - So you agree. 209 00:11:09.880 --> 00:11:11.610 - What? - You think you're really pretty. 210 00:11:12.210 --> 00:11:15.080 - Oh, I don't know... - Oh, my God, I love your bracelet. 211 00:11:15.280 --> 00:11:18.120 - Where did you get it? - Oh, my mom made it for me. 212 00:11:18.320 --> 00:11:20.910 - It's adorable. - Oh, it's so fetch. 213 00:11:21.120 --> 00:11:24.490 - What is "fetch"? - Oh, it's, like, slang. From England. 214 00:11:24.690 --> 00:11:26.130 So if you're from Africa... 215 00:11:26.700 --> 00:11:28.390 ...why are you white? 216 00:11:28.600 --> 00:11:31.760 Oh, my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white. 217 00:11:31.970 --> 00:11:34.460 Could you give us some privacy for, like, one second? 218 00:11:34.670 --> 00:11:36.470 Yeah, sure. 219 00:11:37.470 --> 00:11:38.910 What are you doing? 220 00:11:42.780 --> 00:11:44.929 OK, you should just know that we don't do this a lot, 221 00:11:45.010 --> 00:11:47.280 so this is, like, a really huge deal. 222 00:11:47.480 --> 00:11:49.180 We wanna invite you to have lunch with us 223 00:11:49.380 --> 00:11:51.010 every day for the rest of the week. 224 00:11:51.220 --> 00:11:53.150 - Oh, it's OK... - Coolness. 225 00:11:53.360 --> 00:11:54.580 So we'll see you tomorrow. 226 00:11:54.790 --> 00:11:57.050 On Wednesdays, we wear pink. 227 00:11:57.490 --> 00:11:59.460 Oh, my God! OK, you have to do it, OK? 228 00:11:59.660 --> 00:12:02.479 And then you have to tell me all the horrible things that Regina says. 229 00:12:02.560 --> 00:12:04.360 Regina seems sweet. 230 00:12:04.700 --> 00:12:06.130 Regina George is not sweet. 231 00:12:06.340 --> 00:12:08.900 She's a scum-sucking road whore! She ruined my life! 232 00:12:09.100 --> 00:12:10.800 She's fabulous, but she's evil. 233 00:12:11.010 --> 00:12:13.094 - Hey, get out of here! - Oh, my God, Danny DeVito. 234 00:12:13.210 --> 00:12:15.040 I love your work! 235 00:12:15.240 --> 00:12:17.040 - Why do you hate her? - What do you mean? 236 00:12:17.250 --> 00:12:19.180 Regina. You seem to really hate her. 237 00:12:19.380 --> 00:12:21.180 Yes. What's your question? 238 00:12:21.380 --> 00:12:23.569 - Well, my question is, why? - Regina started this rumor 239 00:12:23.650 --> 00:12:26.520 - that Janis was... - Damian! Shall we not? 240 00:12:26.720 --> 00:12:28.470 Now, look. This isn't about hating her, OK? 241 00:12:28.590 --> 00:12:30.479 I just think that it would be, like, a fun little experiment 242 00:12:30.560 --> 00:12:33.249 if you were to hang out with them and then tell us everything that they say. 243 00:12:33.330 --> 00:12:35.390 - What do we even talk about? - Hair products. 244 00:12:35.600 --> 00:12:37.330 - Ashton Kutcher. - Is that a band? 245 00:12:37.530 --> 00:12:40.090 Would you just do it? Please? 246 00:12:40.740 --> 00:12:43.030 OK, fine. Do you have anything pink? 247 00:12:43.240 --> 00:12:45.000 - Yes. - No. 248 00:12:45.640 --> 00:12:48.270 By eighth period, I was so happy to get to math class. 249 00:12:48.480 --> 00:12:50.880 I mean, I'm good at math. I understand math. 250 00:12:51.080 --> 00:12:52.980 Nothing in math class could mess me up. 251 00:12:53.420 --> 00:12:55.350 Hey, do you have a pencil I can borrow? 252 00:12:57.590 --> 00:12:59.680 I've only had one other crush in my life. 253 00:12:59.890 --> 00:13:01.860 His name was Nfume, and we were 5. 254 00:13:06.090 --> 00:13:07.390 It didn't work out. 255 00:13:08.500 --> 00:13:10.660 But this one hit me like a big, yellow school bus. 256 00:13:10.870 --> 00:13:12.930 - Cady, what do you say? - He was... 257 00:13:13.140 --> 00:13:14.570 So cute. 258 00:13:16.370 --> 00:13:20.470 I mean, A-sub-N equals N plus one over four. 259 00:13:20.680 --> 00:13:22.140 That's right. 260 00:13:22.340 --> 00:13:24.310 That's good. Very good. 261 00:13:24.510 --> 00:13:26.340 All right, let's talk about your homework. 262 00:13:28.120 --> 00:13:30.280 Hey. How was your second day? 263 00:13:31.090 --> 00:13:32.780 - Fine. - Were people nice? 264 00:13:33.420 --> 00:13:35.550 - No. - Did you make any friends? 265 00:13:35.990 --> 00:13:37.750 Yeah. 266 00:13:39.900 --> 00:13:42.525 Having lunch with The Plastics was like leaving the actual world 267 00:13:42.630 --> 00:13:44.120 and entering "Girl World". 268 00:13:44.330 --> 00:13:46.360 And Girl World had a lot of rules. 269 00:13:46.570 --> 00:13:48.470 You can't wear a tank top two days in a row, 270 00:13:48.670 --> 00:13:51.370 and you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week. 271 00:13:51.840 --> 00:13:54.310 So I guess you picked today. 272 00:13:54.640 --> 00:13:57.700 Oh, and we only wear jeans or track pants on Fridays. 273 00:13:57.910 --> 00:14:01.250 Now, if you break any of these rules, you can't sit with us at lunch. 274 00:14:01.450 --> 00:14:03.440 I mean, not just you. Like, any of us. 275 00:14:03.650 --> 00:14:05.450 OK, like, if I was wearing jeans today, 276 00:14:05.650 --> 00:14:07.920 I would be sitting over there with the art freaks. 277 00:14:10.190 --> 00:14:12.449 Oh, and we always vote before we ask someone to eat lunch with us 278 00:14:12.530 --> 00:14:15.330 because you have to be considerate of the rest of the group. 279 00:14:15.600 --> 00:14:17.849 Well, I mean, you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first 280 00:14:17.930 --> 00:14:20.090 - if it looks good on you. - I wouldn't? 281 00:14:20.470 --> 00:14:22.270 Right. Oh, and it's the same with guys. 282 00:14:22.470 --> 00:14:26.930 Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong. 283 00:14:27.140 --> 00:14:30.310 A hundred and twenty calories and 48 calories from fat. What percent is that? 284 00:14:30.550 --> 00:14:32.450 Forty-eight into 120? 285 00:14:32.650 --> 00:14:35.359 I'm only eating foods with less than 30 percent calories from fat. 286 00:14:35.480 --> 00:14:37.080 It's 40 percent. 287 00:14:37.290 --> 00:14:40.450 Well, 48 over 120 equals X over 100, 288 00:14:40.660 --> 00:14:42.990 and then you cross-multiply and get the value of X. 289 00:14:44.090 --> 00:14:45.790 Whatever. I'm getting cheese fries. 290 00:14:48.560 --> 00:14:51.260 So have you seen any guys that you think are cute yet? 291 00:14:52.070 --> 00:14:53.945 Well, there's this guy in my calculus class... 292 00:14:54.040 --> 00:14:55.870 - Who is it? - It's a senior? 293 00:14:56.140 --> 00:14:58.630 - His name's Aaron Samuels. - No! 294 00:14:58.840 --> 00:15:00.810 Oh, no, you can't like Aaron Samuels. 295 00:15:01.010 --> 00:15:02.670 That's Regina's ex-boyfriend. 296 00:15:02.880 --> 00:15:04.110 They went out for a year. 297 00:15:04.310 --> 00:15:05.685 Yeah, and then she was devastated 298 00:15:05.880 --> 00:15:07.422 when he broke up with her last summer. 299 00:15:07.580 --> 00:15:09.610 I thought she dumped him for Shane Oman. 300 00:15:09.820 --> 00:15:12.480 OK, irregardless. Ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends. 301 00:15:12.690 --> 00:15:15.050 I mean, that's just, like, the rules of feminism. 302 00:15:16.020 --> 00:15:20.090 Don't worry. I'll never tell Regina what you said. 303 00:15:20.300 --> 00:15:22.130 It'll be our little secret. 304 00:15:23.870 --> 00:15:27.300 We define the sum of the infinite geometric series... 305 00:15:27.500 --> 00:15:29.330 Even though I wasn't allowed to like Aaron, 306 00:15:29.540 --> 00:15:32.230 I was still allowed to look at him. 307 00:15:33.210 --> 00:15:34.870 And think about him. 308 00:15:36.750 --> 00:15:39.240 And talk to him. 309 00:15:39.450 --> 00:15:41.534 - Hey, Aar... - Hey, you're the Africa girl, right? 310 00:15:41.980 --> 00:15:43.610 - Yeah. - I'm Kevin Gnapoor, 311 00:15:43.820 --> 00:15:45.362 captain of the North Shore Mathletes. 312 00:15:45.520 --> 00:15:48.650 We participate in math challenges against other high schools in the state, 313 00:15:48.860 --> 00:15:51.194 and we can get twice as much funding if we've got a girl. 314 00:15:51.330 --> 00:15:52.880 So you should think about joining. 315 00:15:53.090 --> 00:15:55.590 - Oh, you'd be perfect for it. - Yeah, definitely. 316 00:15:55.800 --> 00:15:58.060 Great, great. Let me give you my card. 317 00:16:01.540 --> 00:16:02.830 OK, so think it over. 318 00:16:03.970 --> 00:16:06.100 Because we'd like to get jackets. 319 00:16:06.910 --> 00:16:08.470 OK. 320 00:16:20.820 --> 00:16:22.520 Hey! 321 00:16:24.130 --> 00:16:26.250 Get in, loser. We're going shopping. 322 00:16:26.830 --> 00:16:28.850 Regina's like the Barbie doll I never had. 323 00:16:29.060 --> 00:16:31.430 I'd never seen anybody so glamorous. 324 00:16:34.300 --> 00:16:36.860 - So how do you like North Shore? - It's good. 325 00:16:37.070 --> 00:16:38.510 I think I'm joining the Mathletes. 326 00:16:38.710 --> 00:16:39.940 - No! No, no. - No, no. 327 00:16:40.140 --> 00:16:42.700 You cannot do that. That is social suicide. 328 00:16:42.910 --> 00:16:45.540 Damn, you are so lucky you have us to guide you. 329 00:16:56.290 --> 00:16:59.950 Being at Old Orctard Mall kind of reminded me of being home in Africa. 330 00:17:00.160 --> 00:17:03.460 By the watering hole. When the animals are in heat. 331 00:17:11.540 --> 00:17:12.840 Oh, my God, there's Jason! 332 00:17:13.040 --> 00:17:15.740 Where? Oh, there he is. 333 00:17:17.550 --> 00:17:19.899 - And he's with Taylor Wedell. - I heard they're going out. 334 00:17:19.980 --> 00:17:22.580 Wait. Jason's not going out with Taylor. 335 00:17:22.780 --> 00:17:25.120 No. He cannot blow you off like that. 336 00:17:25.320 --> 00:17:28.590 He's such a little skeez. Give me your phone. 337 00:17:29.560 --> 00:17:32.185 - You're not gonna call him, right? - Do you think I'm an idiot? 338 00:17:32.460 --> 00:17:33.890 No. 339 00:17:36.630 --> 00:17:38.860 - Wedell on South Boulevard. - Caller ID. 340 00:17:39.070 --> 00:17:40.730 Not when you connect from Information. 341 00:17:40.940 --> 00:17:42.160 - Hello? - Hello. 342 00:17:42.370 --> 00:17:43.829 May I please speak to Taylor Wedell? 343 00:17:44.010 --> 00:17:45.630 She's not home yet. Who's calling? 344 00:17:45.840 --> 00:17:47.810 Oh, this is Susan from Planned Parenthood. 345 00:17:48.010 --> 00:17:51.600 I have her test results. If you can have her give me a call as soon as she can. 346 00:17:51.810 --> 00:17:54.110 It's urgent. Thank you. 347 00:17:55.380 --> 00:17:57.040 She's not going out with anyone. 348 00:17:57.250 --> 00:17:59.810 OK, that was so fetch. 349 00:18:07.360 --> 00:18:09.060 Mom. 350 00:18:21.280 --> 00:18:23.540 Your house is really nice. 351 00:18:23.750 --> 00:18:25.680 I know, right? 352 00:18:25.880 --> 00:18:27.569 Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. 353 00:18:27.650 --> 00:18:29.810 They're hard as rocks. 354 00:18:31.320 --> 00:18:33.550 I'm home! Hey, Kylie. 355 00:18:34.060 --> 00:18:35.580 Hey. 356 00:18:37.030 --> 00:18:40.550 Hey, hey, hey! How are my best girlfriends? 357 00:18:40.760 --> 00:18:42.530 Hey, Mrs. George. This is Cady. 358 00:18:43.160 --> 00:18:44.760 Hello, sweetheart. 359 00:18:45.500 --> 00:18:48.470 - Hi. - Welcome to our home. 360 00:18:51.410 --> 00:18:54.770 Just want you to know, if you need anything, don't be shy, OK? 361 00:18:54.980 --> 00:18:57.880 There are no rules in this house. I'm not like a regular mom. 362 00:18:58.080 --> 00:19:00.670 I'm a cool mom. Right, Regina? 363 00:19:00.880 --> 00:19:02.350 - Please stop talking. - OK. 364 00:19:02.550 --> 00:19:05.640 I'm gonna make you girls a "hump day" treat. 365 00:19:11.260 --> 00:19:12.920 This is your room? 366 00:19:13.130 --> 00:19:16.360 It was my parents' room, but I made them trade me. 367 00:19:17.130 --> 00:19:19.070 Hey, put on 98.8. 368 00:19:24.310 --> 00:19:26.210 Cady, do you even know who sings this? 369 00:19:27.510 --> 00:19:29.480 - The Spice Girls? - I love her. 370 00:19:29.680 --> 00:19:30.940 She's like a Martian. 371 00:19:31.150 --> 00:19:34.480 - God, my hips are huge! - Oh, please. I hate my calves. 372 00:19:34.680 --> 00:19:37.380 At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders. 373 00:19:37.650 --> 00:19:40.210 I used to think there was just fat and skinny. 374 00:19:40.420 --> 00:19:42.939 Apparently, there's a lot of things that can be wrong on your body. 375 00:19:43.020 --> 00:19:45.820 - My hairline is so weird. - My pores are huge. 376 00:19:46.030 --> 00:19:47.320 My nail beds suck. 377 00:19:50.630 --> 00:19:52.600 I have really bad breath in the morning. 378 00:19:54.670 --> 00:19:58.260 Hey, you guys. Happy hour is from 4 to 6! 379 00:20:00.040 --> 00:20:01.700 Thanks. 380 00:20:02.480 --> 00:20:04.450 Is there alcohol in this? 381 00:20:04.650 --> 00:20:08.100 Oh, God, honey, no. What kind of mother do you think I am? 382 00:20:08.320 --> 00:20:11.510 Do you want a bit? If you're gonna drink, I'd rather you do it in the house. 383 00:20:11.720 --> 00:20:13.240 - No, thank you. - OK. 384 00:20:13.460 --> 00:20:17.920 So, you guys, what is the 411? 385 00:20:18.130 --> 00:20:20.720 What has everybody been up to? 386 00:20:20.930 --> 00:20:23.960 What is the hot gossip? Tell me everything. 387 00:20:24.170 --> 00:20:26.337 What are you guys listening to? What's the cool jams? 388 00:20:26.570 --> 00:20:27.870 Mom. 389 00:20:28.070 --> 00:20:30.470 - Could you go fix your hair? - OK. 390 00:20:30.670 --> 00:20:34.110 You girls keep me young. Oh, I love you so much. 391 00:20:36.810 --> 00:20:39.010 Oh, my God, I remember this. 392 00:20:39.210 --> 00:20:42.340 - I haven't looked at that in forever. - Come check it out, Cady. 393 00:20:42.550 --> 00:20:43.780 It's our Burn Book. 394 00:20:43.990 --> 00:20:45.939 See, we cut out girls' pictures from the yearbook, 395 00:20:46.020 --> 00:20:47.950 and then we wrote comments. 396 00:20:48.160 --> 00:20:51.150 - "Trang Pak is a grotsky little byotch." - Still true. 397 00:20:51.360 --> 00:20:54.820 - "Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin." - Still half true. 398 00:20:56.530 --> 00:20:59.830 "Amber D'Alessio." She made out with a hot dog. 399 00:21:00.200 --> 00:21:02.140 "Janis Ian, dyke." 400 00:21:03.040 --> 00:21:05.340 - Who is that? - I think that's that kid Damian. 401 00:21:05.810 --> 00:21:08.370 Yeah. He's almost too gay to function. 402 00:21:08.680 --> 00:21:11.300 That's funny. Put that in there. 403 00:21:11.510 --> 00:21:14.680 Oh, no. Maybe that was only OK when Janis said it. 404 00:21:15.520 --> 00:21:17.609 And they have this Burn Book where they write mean things 405 00:21:17.690 --> 00:21:20.315 - about all the girls in our grade. - What does it say about me? 406 00:21:21.090 --> 00:21:23.680 - You're not in it. - Those bitches. 407 00:21:23.890 --> 00:21:25.599 - Will this minimize my pores? - No. Cady, 408 00:21:25.790 --> 00:21:27.260 you gotta steal that book. 409 00:21:27.460 --> 00:21:29.294 - No way! - Oh, come on. We could publish it, 410 00:21:29.400 --> 00:21:31.870 and then everybody would see what an ax-wound she really is. 411 00:21:32.070 --> 00:21:34.760 - I don't steal. - That is for your feet. 412 00:21:34.970 --> 00:21:37.960 Cady, there are two kinds of evil people. 413 00:21:38.170 --> 00:21:39.570 People who do evil stuff, 414 00:21:39.770 --> 00:21:43.370 and people who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it. 415 00:21:43.680 --> 00:21:48.120 Does that mean I'm morally obligated to burn that lady's outfit? 416 00:21:48.520 --> 00:21:49.950 Oh, my God, that's Ms. Norbury. 417 00:21:50.150 --> 00:21:51.709 I love seeing teachers outside of school. 418 00:21:51.790 --> 00:21:53.880 It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs. 419 00:21:55.160 --> 00:21:57.179 Hey, guys, what's up? I didn't know you worked here. 420 00:21:57.260 --> 00:21:59.820 Yeah, moderately priced soaps are my calling. 421 00:22:00.130 --> 00:22:02.930 - You shopping? - No, I'm just here with my boyfriend. 422 00:22:05.730 --> 00:22:08.860 Joking. Sometimes older people make jokes. 423 00:22:09.070 --> 00:22:11.630 My Nana takes her wig off when she's drunk. 424 00:22:11.840 --> 00:22:13.930 Your Nana and I have that in common. 425 00:22:14.140 --> 00:22:16.932 No, actually, I'm just here because I bartend a couple nights a week 426 00:22:17.050 --> 00:22:18.770 down at P. J. Calamity's. 427 00:22:19.810 --> 00:22:21.650 Cady, I hope you do join Mathletes, you know, 428 00:22:21.850 --> 00:22:23.267 because we start in a couple weeks 429 00:22:23.420 --> 00:22:25.169 and I would love to have a girl on the team, 430 00:22:25.250 --> 00:22:27.550 just, you know, so the team could meet a girl. 431 00:22:27.760 --> 00:22:29.720 - I think I'm gonna do it. - Great. 432 00:22:29.920 --> 00:22:32.190 You can't join Mathletes. It's social suicide. 433 00:22:32.390 --> 00:22:34.690 Thanks, Damian. 434 00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:38.450 Well, this has been sufficiently awkward. 435 00:22:38.670 --> 00:22:40.600 And I'll see you guys tomorrow. 436 00:22:40.800 --> 00:22:42.390 - Bye. - Bye. 437 00:22:42.600 --> 00:22:45.770 Oh, man, that is bleak. 438 00:22:45.970 --> 00:22:47.840 So when are you gonna see Regina again? 439 00:22:48.310 --> 00:22:50.110 I can't spy on her anymore. It's weird. 440 00:22:50.310 --> 00:22:54.150 Come on, she's never gonna find out. It'll be like our little secret. 441 00:22:57.550 --> 00:22:59.080 - Hello? - I know your secret. 442 00:22:59.290 --> 00:23:00.520 Oh, God, busted. 443 00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:02.950 Just start apologizing and crying. No, play it cool. 444 00:23:03.160 --> 00:23:04.750 Secret? What are you saying about? 445 00:23:04.960 --> 00:23:07.090 Gretchen told me that you like Aaron Samuels. 446 00:23:07.300 --> 00:23:09.490 I mean, I don't care, do whatever you want. 447 00:23:09.700 --> 00:23:12.030 But let me just tell you something about Aaron: 448 00:23:12.230 --> 00:23:16.570 All he cares about is school and his mom and his friends. 449 00:23:16.770 --> 00:23:19.040 - Is that bad? - But if you like him... 450 00:23:19.240 --> 00:23:22.400 Whatever. I mean, I could talk to him for you if you want. 451 00:23:22.610 --> 00:23:25.527 Really? You would do that? I mean, nothing embarrassing, though, right? 452 00:23:25.680 --> 00:23:28.270 Oh, no, trust me. I know exactly how to play it. 453 00:23:28.680 --> 00:23:32.710 But wait. Aren't you so mad at Gretchen for telling me? 454 00:23:32.920 --> 00:23:34.290 - No. - Because if you are, 455 00:23:34.490 --> 00:23:37.690 you can tell me. It was a really bitchy thing for her to do. 456 00:23:37.890 --> 00:23:40.860 Yeah, it was pretty bitchy, but I'm not mad. 457 00:23:41.060 --> 00:23:42.549 I mean, I guess she just likes the attention. 458 00:23:42.630 --> 00:23:44.389 See, Gretch? I told you she's not mad at you. 459 00:23:44.470 --> 00:23:46.149 I can't believe you think I like attention! 460 00:23:46.230 --> 00:23:48.930 OK, love you. See you tomorrow. 461 00:23:49.500 --> 00:23:51.670 I had survived my first three-way calling attack. 462 00:23:52.140 --> 00:23:55.600 And with Regina's blessing, I started talking to Aaron more and more. 463 00:23:55.980 --> 00:23:58.280 On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was. 464 00:23:58.650 --> 00:24:00.240 It's October 3rd. 465 00:24:00.450 --> 00:24:02.310 Two weeks later, we spoke again. 466 00:24:02.520 --> 00:24:04.210 It's raining. 467 00:24:04.420 --> 00:24:05.940 Yeah. 468 00:24:06.150 --> 00:24:07.920 But I wanted things to move faster. 469 00:24:08.120 --> 00:24:10.490 So I followed my instincts. 470 00:24:10.690 --> 00:24:13.420 Hey, I'm totally lost. Can you help me? 471 00:24:13.630 --> 00:24:14.860 - But I wasn't lost. - Yeah. 472 00:24:15.060 --> 00:24:17.049 I knew exactly what Ms. Norbury was talking about. 473 00:24:17.130 --> 00:24:20.100 It's a factorial, so you multiply each one by N. 474 00:24:20.300 --> 00:24:21.530 Wrong. 475 00:24:21.740 --> 00:24:23.030 Is that the summation? 476 00:24:24.370 --> 00:24:25.700 Yeah, they're the same thing. 477 00:24:25.910 --> 00:24:27.770 Wrong. He was so wrong. 478 00:24:27.980 --> 00:24:31.210 Thanks. I... I get it now. 479 00:24:31.410 --> 00:24:35.080 Lights, please. OK. See you guys tomorrow. 480 00:24:36.980 --> 00:24:39.510 We're having a Halloween party at my friend Chris' tonight. 481 00:24:40.090 --> 00:24:41.990 You wanna come? 482 00:24:42.290 --> 00:24:43.850 Yeah, sure. 483 00:24:44.060 --> 00:24:46.290 Great. Here's where it is. 484 00:24:46.490 --> 00:24:48.790 It's a costume party. People get pretty into it. 485 00:24:49.160 --> 00:24:50.600 OK. 486 00:24:50.800 --> 00:24:53.930 That flier admits one person only, 487 00:24:54.140 --> 00:24:56.230 so don't bring some other guy with you. 488 00:24:56.670 --> 00:24:58.260 "Grool." 489 00:24:58.910 --> 00:25:01.202 I meant to say "cool" and then I started to say "great". 490 00:25:01.510 --> 00:25:04.540 Right. Well... grool. 491 00:25:05.480 --> 00:25:07.780 See you tonight. 492 00:25:09.120 --> 00:25:12.140 Hey, Africa. You staying for the Mathletes meeting? 493 00:25:12.590 --> 00:25:14.380 Yeah, I'll be right back. 494 00:25:16.120 --> 00:25:19.960 OK, I lied. But I had to go home and work on my costume. 495 00:25:20.500 --> 00:25:23.490 In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes 496 00:25:23.700 --> 00:25:25.030 and beg for candy. 497 00:25:25.230 --> 00:25:27.790 In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year 498 00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:29.590 when a girl can dress like a total slut 499 00:25:29.800 --> 00:25:31.770 and no other girls can say anything about it. 500 00:25:31.970 --> 00:25:33.800 The hard-core girls just wear lingerie 501 00:25:34.010 --> 00:25:35.600 and some form of animal ears. 502 00:25:35.810 --> 00:25:37.610 Doesn't she look great, honey? 503 00:25:39.810 --> 00:25:42.650 - What are you? - I'm a mouse. 504 00:25:44.150 --> 00:25:46.640 Unfortunately, no one told me about the slut rule. 505 00:25:47.020 --> 00:25:49.580 So I showed up like this. 506 00:25:55.530 --> 00:25:57.020 Hey. 507 00:25:59.000 --> 00:26:01.760 Yes! Yes! 508 00:26:06.710 --> 00:26:08.200 Hey. 509 00:26:08.740 --> 00:26:10.510 Why are you dressed so scary? 510 00:26:10.950 --> 00:26:12.670 It's Halloween. 511 00:26:12.880 --> 00:26:14.370 Have you seen Jason? 512 00:26:14.720 --> 00:26:16.810 You know who's looking fine tonight? 513 00:26:17.020 --> 00:26:19.040 Seth Mosakowski. 514 00:26:19.250 --> 00:26:23.020 - OK, you did not just say that. - What? He's a good kisser. 515 00:26:23.220 --> 00:26:24.560 He's your cousin. 516 00:26:24.930 --> 00:26:26.520 Yeah, but he's my first cousin. 517 00:26:26.930 --> 00:26:28.900 - Right. - So you have your cousins 518 00:26:29.100 --> 00:26:30.760 and then you have your first cousins, 519 00:26:30.970 --> 00:26:33.530 - then you have your second cousins... - No, honey. 520 00:26:34.200 --> 00:26:35.570 That's not right, is it? 521 00:26:35.770 --> 00:26:37.360 That is so not right. 522 00:26:37.570 --> 00:26:39.560 - Hey! - Hey. 523 00:26:39.770 --> 00:26:41.240 You made it. 524 00:26:41.440 --> 00:26:45.400 And you are... a zombie bride. 525 00:26:45.610 --> 00:26:47.310 An "ex-wife". 526 00:26:47.520 --> 00:26:49.540 Love it. Can I get you something to drink? 527 00:26:49.750 --> 00:26:51.220 - Yeah. - Be right back. 528 00:26:51.420 --> 00:26:53.150 Thanks. 529 00:26:54.760 --> 00:26:56.250 Karen, stop it. 530 00:26:56.660 --> 00:26:58.890 - Don't, Karen... - Hey, Seth! 531 00:27:02.560 --> 00:27:03.830 Hey. 532 00:27:04.030 --> 00:27:05.730 Oh, no. 533 00:27:05.930 --> 00:27:07.260 Didn't anybody tell you? 534 00:27:07.470 --> 00:27:09.030 You were supposed to wear a costume. 535 00:27:09.400 --> 00:27:12.370 Shut up. I need to talk to you. 536 00:27:12.570 --> 00:27:14.940 - You know that girl Cady? - Yeah, she's cool. 537 00:27:15.140 --> 00:27:16.440 I invited her tonight. 538 00:27:17.780 --> 00:27:20.210 Well, be careful because she has a huge crush on you. 539 00:27:20.620 --> 00:27:22.780 Really? How do you know? 540 00:27:23.520 --> 00:27:25.250 Because she told me. 541 00:27:25.450 --> 00:27:27.920 She tells everybody. It's kind of cute, actually. 542 00:27:28.120 --> 00:27:30.829 She's like a little girl. She, like, writes all over her notebook, 543 00:27:30.990 --> 00:27:32.320 "Mrs. Aaron Samuels." 544 00:27:32.690 --> 00:27:34.990 And she made this T-shirt that says "I heart Aaron" 545 00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:37.030 and she wears it under all her clothes. 546 00:27:37.230 --> 00:27:39.460 - Oh, come on. - Well, who can blame her? 547 00:27:39.670 --> 00:27:41.030 I mean, you're gorgeous. 548 00:27:42.740 --> 00:27:45.260 And OK, look, I'm not saying she's a stalker, 549 00:27:45.470 --> 00:27:48.000 but she saved this Kleenex you used 550 00:27:48.210 --> 00:27:51.650 and she said she's gonna do some kind of African voodoo with it 551 00:27:51.850 --> 00:27:53.510 to make you like her. 552 00:27:54.080 --> 00:27:55.310 What? 553 00:27:59.690 --> 00:28:00.920 This was it. 554 00:28:01.120 --> 00:28:03.579 Regina said she would talk to Aaron for me, and now she was. 555 00:28:03.690 --> 00:28:08.130 I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend, 556 00:28:08.330 --> 00:28:10.960 so just promise me you won't make fun of her. 557 00:28:11.170 --> 00:28:12.795 Of course I'm not gonna make fun of her. 558 00:28:13.370 --> 00:28:14.990 How could Janis hate Regina? 559 00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:17.260 Ste was such a good... 560 00:28:18.270 --> 00:28:19.500 Slut! 561 00:28:26.110 --> 00:28:28.600 What are you doing? You broke up with me. 562 00:28:28.950 --> 00:28:31.650 That's crazy. Why would I break up with you? 563 00:28:31.850 --> 00:28:34.050 You're so hot. 564 00:28:40.960 --> 00:28:42.690 That's a scary mask, bro. 565 00:28:43.160 --> 00:28:44.760 I had never felt this feeling before. 566 00:28:44.970 --> 00:28:46.630 I could tear my heartbeat in my ears. 567 00:28:46.830 --> 00:28:49.039 My stomach felt like it was going to fall out my butt. 568 00:28:49.170 --> 00:28:52.230 I had this lump in my throat like after you dry-swallow a big pill. 569 00:28:52.440 --> 00:28:55.170 I hated Regina. I hated her! 570 00:29:11.260 --> 00:29:12.750 She took him back. 571 00:29:12.960 --> 00:29:14.620 Regina took Aaron back. 572 00:29:15.000 --> 00:29:18.020 - Oh, no, Cady. - Why would she do that? 573 00:29:18.230 --> 00:29:19.860 Because she's a life-ruiner. 574 00:29:20.070 --> 00:29:21.800 She ruins people's lives. 575 00:29:22.000 --> 00:29:24.100 When we were 13, she made people sign this petition 576 00:29:24.310 --> 00:29:26.170 - saying that Janis was... - Damian! Please! 577 00:29:26.370 --> 00:29:28.359 Look, she's not gonna get away with this again, OK? 578 00:29:28.440 --> 00:29:31.100 - We're gonna do something. - We are? 579 00:29:32.980 --> 00:29:34.970 Regina George is an evil dictator. 580 00:29:35.480 --> 00:29:37.540 Now, how do you overthrow a dictator? 581 00:29:37.750 --> 00:29:40.150 You cut off her resources. 582 00:29:40.350 --> 00:29:43.480 Regina would be nothing without her high-status man candy... 583 00:29:45.060 --> 00:29:46.580 ...technically good physique... 584 00:29:48.260 --> 00:29:50.460 ...and ignorant band of loyal followers. 585 00:29:52.900 --> 00:29:55.560 Now, Cady, if we want this to work, 586 00:29:55.770 --> 00:29:58.289 you are gonna have to keep hanging out with them like nothing is wrong. 587 00:29:58.370 --> 00:30:00.000 Can you do it? 588 00:30:00.310 --> 00:30:01.570 I can do it. 589 00:30:01.780 --> 00:30:04.640 OK, let's rock this bitch. 590 00:30:06.180 --> 00:30:09.210 Pretending like nothing was wrong turned out to be surprisingly easy. 591 00:30:09.420 --> 00:30:12.504 Regina wanted me to tell you that she was trying to hook you up with Aaron, 592 00:30:12.650 --> 00:30:14.850 but he was just interested in getting her back. 593 00:30:15.060 --> 00:30:16.390 And that's not Regina's fault. 594 00:30:16.590 --> 00:30:18.920 - No, I know. - OK, so you're not mad at Regina? 595 00:30:19.160 --> 00:30:20.680 - God, no. - Oh, OK, good. 596 00:30:20.900 --> 00:30:24.590 Because Regina wanted me to give you this. 597 00:30:28.070 --> 00:30:29.612 It's called the South Beach Fat Flush, 598 00:30:29.700 --> 00:30:31.930 and all you drink is cranberry juice for 72 hours. 599 00:30:32.140 --> 00:30:33.474 This isn't even cranberry juice. 600 00:30:33.570 --> 00:30:35.670 It's cranberry juice cocktail. It's all sugar. 601 00:30:35.880 --> 00:30:38.970 - I wanna lose 3 pounds. - You're crazy. 602 00:30:40.050 --> 00:30:43.540 Why do you wear your hair like that? You hair looks so sexy pushed back. 603 00:30:43.850 --> 00:30:46.840 Cady, will you please tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back. 604 00:30:47.050 --> 00:30:49.780 Regina was dangling Aaron in front of me on purpose. 605 00:30:49.990 --> 00:30:52.390 I knew how this would be settled in the animal world. 606 00:31:02.100 --> 00:31:03.330 But this was Girl World. 607 00:31:03.540 --> 00:31:05.300 Your hair looks sexy pushed back. 608 00:31:06.770 --> 00:31:10.300 And in Girl World, all the fighting had to be sneaky. 609 00:31:11.550 --> 00:31:15.110 All this cranberry juice is making me break out. 610 00:31:15.580 --> 00:31:17.950 Wait. I have this really good skin stuff I'll bring you. 611 00:31:18.150 --> 00:31:19.120 OK. 612 00:31:19.650 --> 00:31:23.020 We kept our eyes open for opportunities for sabotage. 613 00:31:29.330 --> 00:31:31.160 Regina. 614 00:31:31.370 --> 00:31:32.860 - Here you go. - Thank you. 615 00:31:37.340 --> 00:31:38.770 - Hey. - Hey. 616 00:31:43.340 --> 00:31:46.010 Your face smells like peppermint. 617 00:32:19.450 --> 00:32:20.910 This is ass, you guys. 618 00:32:21.550 --> 00:32:25.320 It's been a month, and all we've done is make Regina's face smell like a foot. 619 00:32:25.520 --> 00:32:26.869 I've been really busy with choir. 620 00:32:26.950 --> 00:32:28.510 We gotta crack Gretchen Wieners. 621 00:32:28.720 --> 00:32:30.554 We crack Gretchen, and then we crack the lock 622 00:32:30.660 --> 00:32:32.350 on Regina's whole dirty history. 623 00:32:32.560 --> 00:32:34.080 - Say "crack" again. - Crack. 624 00:32:34.300 --> 00:32:36.290 - All right, let's reconvene tonight. - I can't. 625 00:32:36.500 --> 00:32:38.970 I have to go to Regina's to practise for the talent show. 626 00:32:39.170 --> 00:32:42.030 - We're doing a dance to this song... - "Jingle Bell Rock." 627 00:32:42.240 --> 00:32:43.460 You guys know that song? 628 00:32:43.670 --> 00:32:46.160 Everybody in the English-speaking world knows that song. 629 00:32:46.370 --> 00:32:48.000 They do it every year. 630 00:32:48.210 --> 00:32:50.110 Well, I have to learn it. 631 00:32:50.310 --> 00:32:52.010 Go. 632 00:32:52.310 --> 00:32:55.180 - Hey. - Why were you talking to Janis Ian? 633 00:32:55.380 --> 00:32:56.899 I don't know, I mean, she's so weird. 634 00:32:56.980 --> 00:32:59.939 She just, you know, came up to me and started talking to me about crack. 635 00:33:00.620 --> 00:33:01.920 She's so pathetic. 636 00:33:02.560 --> 00:33:04.550 Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. 637 00:33:04.760 --> 00:33:06.302 We were best friends in middle school. 638 00:33:06.490 --> 00:33:07.720 I know, right? 639 00:33:07.930 --> 00:33:10.760 It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. 640 00:33:10.970 --> 00:33:13.689 So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend, 641 00:33:13.770 --> 00:33:16.790 Kyle, who was totally gorgeous, but then he moved to Indiana. 642 00:33:17.000 --> 00:33:19.400 And Janis was, like, weirdly jealous of him. 643 00:33:19.610 --> 00:33:21.770 Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, 644 00:33:21.980 --> 00:33:23.970 she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" 645 00:33:24.180 --> 00:33:27.050 And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" 646 00:33:27.250 --> 00:33:30.010 So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, 647 00:33:30.220 --> 00:33:34.150 I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're a lesbian." 648 00:33:34.360 --> 00:33:36.760 I mean, I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. 649 00:33:36.960 --> 00:33:39.149 There are gonna be girls there in their bathing suits. 650 00:33:39.230 --> 00:33:40.720 I mean, right? She was a lesbian. 651 00:33:41.130 --> 00:33:43.379 So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her. 652 00:33:43.460 --> 00:33:44.830 It was so retarded. 653 00:33:45.030 --> 00:33:47.419 And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her. 654 00:33:47.500 --> 00:33:49.417 When she came back in the fall for high school, 655 00:33:49.600 --> 00:33:52.090 all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, 656 00:33:52.310 --> 00:33:53.640 and now I guess she's on crack. 657 00:33:55.310 --> 00:33:57.140 Oh, my God! I love your skirt. 658 00:33:57.340 --> 00:33:59.070 Where did you get it? 659 00:33:59.280 --> 00:34:00.840 It was my mom's in the '80s. 660 00:34:01.280 --> 00:34:03.440 Vintage. So adorable. 661 00:34:03.650 --> 00:34:05.350 Thanks. 662 00:34:05.920 --> 00:34:08.080 That is the ugliest F-ing skirt I've ever seen. 663 00:34:09.690 --> 00:34:12.320 Oh, my God, I love your bracelet. Where did you get it? 664 00:34:15.700 --> 00:34:17.460 So are you gonna send any candy canes? 665 00:34:17.670 --> 00:34:19.930 No. I don't send them, I just get them. 666 00:34:20.430 --> 00:34:22.800 So you better send me one, byotch. 667 00:34:23.000 --> 00:34:24.230 Love you. 668 00:34:25.240 --> 00:34:27.140 I was definitely sending her one. 669 00:34:27.340 --> 00:34:29.970 I was gonna use three candy canes to crack Gretchen Wieners. 670 00:34:30.180 --> 00:34:31.410 Three, please. 671 00:34:31.610 --> 00:34:35.280 "Why, Man, he doth bestride the narrow world like a colossus" 672 00:34:35.480 --> 00:34:37.140 might translate into 673 00:34:37.350 --> 00:34:39.720 "Why is he so huge and obnoxious?" 674 00:34:42.590 --> 00:34:45.790 - Candy cane-grams! - OK, hurry up. 675 00:34:45.990 --> 00:34:48.620 Taylor Zimmerman? Two for you. 676 00:34:48.830 --> 00:34:50.320 Glenn Cocco? 677 00:34:50.530 --> 00:34:54.230 Four for you, Glenn Cocco. You go, Glenn Cocco. 678 00:34:54.440 --> 00:34:56.490 And Cady Heron. 679 00:34:56.700 --> 00:34:58.000 Do we have a Cady Heron here? 680 00:34:58.210 --> 00:35:00.730 - It's Cady. - Oh, Cady, here you go. 681 00:35:00.940 --> 00:35:04.340 One for you. And none for Gretchen Wieners. Bye. 682 00:35:06.410 --> 00:35:07.640 Who's that from? 683 00:35:07.850 --> 00:35:10.440 "Thanks for being such a great friend. Love, Regina." 684 00:35:10.650 --> 00:35:12.310 That's so sweet. 685 00:35:12.650 --> 00:35:15.020 OK, back to Caesar. 686 00:35:15.420 --> 00:35:17.390 Once Gretchen thought Regina was mad at her, 687 00:35:17.590 --> 00:35:19.390 the secrets started pouring out. 688 00:35:19.590 --> 00:35:21.620 All I had to do was wait for one we could use. 689 00:35:21.830 --> 00:35:23.300 Thank you. 690 00:35:24.930 --> 00:35:27.990 Welcome to the North Shore High School winter talent show. 691 00:35:28.200 --> 00:35:30.860 Let me hear you make some noise. 692 00:35:35.780 --> 00:35:37.000 All right, settle down. 693 00:35:38.480 --> 00:35:41.810 Our first act calls himself a star on the rise. 694 00:35:42.020 --> 00:35:44.280 Let's hear it for Damian. 695 00:35:50.190 --> 00:35:52.090 Don't look at me. 696 00:35:52.960 --> 00:35:56.900 Every day is so wonderful 697 00:35:57.330 --> 00:36:01.390 I mean, why would Regina send you guys candy canes and not me? 698 00:36:01.600 --> 00:36:03.070 Maybe she forgot about you. 699 00:36:03.270 --> 00:36:05.259 Yeah, Regina has been acting kind of weird lately. 700 00:36:05.340 --> 00:36:07.030 I mean, is something bothering her? 701 00:36:07.240 --> 00:36:10.400 Well, I mean, her parents totally don't sleep in the same bed anymore, 702 00:36:10.610 --> 00:36:11.870 if that's what you mean. 703 00:36:12.810 --> 00:36:15.370 Oh, my God. Don't tell her I told you that. 704 00:36:15.580 --> 00:36:20.450 I am beautiful in every single way 705 00:36:20.650 --> 00:36:23.919 Yes, words can't bring me down 706 00:36:23.920 --> 00:36:25.170 Yes, words can't bring me down 707 00:36:25.860 --> 00:36:29.060 Don't you bring me down today 708 00:36:29.260 --> 00:36:31.420 I mean, no offense, 709 00:36:31.630 --> 00:36:33.260 but why would she send you a candy cane? 710 00:36:33.470 --> 00:36:34.929 She doesn't even like you that much. 711 00:36:35.940 --> 00:36:37.232 Maybe she feels weird around me 712 00:36:37.370 --> 00:36:40.640 because I'm the only person that knows about her nose job. 713 00:36:41.540 --> 00:36:44.380 Oh, my God. Pretend you didn't hear that. 714 00:36:44.850 --> 00:36:46.310 Yo, yo, yo 715 00:36:46.510 --> 00:36:50.380 All you sucker MCs Ain't got nothing on me 716 00:36:50.580 --> 00:36:52.622 From my grades to my lines You can't touch Kevin G 717 00:36:52.790 --> 00:36:54.910 I'm a Mathlete So nerd is inferred 718 00:36:55.120 --> 00:36:57.279 But forget what you heard I'm like James Bond the Third 719 00:36:57.360 --> 00:36:59.050 Shaken not stirred I'm Kevin Gnapoor 720 00:36:59.260 --> 00:37:00.950 The G is silent when I sneak in your door 721 00:37:01.160 --> 00:37:03.160 And make love to your woman On the bathroom floor 722 00:37:03.360 --> 00:37:05.420 I don't play it like Staggy You'll know it was me 723 00:37:05.630 --> 00:37:07.690 Because the next time you see her She'll be like 724 00:37:07.900 --> 00:37:10.800 - Kevin G! - Thank you, Kevin, that's enough. 725 00:37:11.000 --> 00:37:12.530 Happy holidays, everybody. 726 00:37:17.850 --> 00:37:20.040 K.G. And the Power of Three. 727 00:37:20.910 --> 00:37:22.680 That was something. 728 00:37:23.380 --> 00:37:25.969 Does it bother you that they still use your original choreography? 729 00:37:26.050 --> 00:37:27.280 Shut up. 730 00:37:27.490 --> 00:37:29.120 Damn. 731 00:37:29.390 --> 00:37:30.950 - What? - I'd rather see you out there 732 00:37:31.160 --> 00:37:32.390 shaking that thing. 733 00:37:35.360 --> 00:37:36.735 Gretchen, switch sides with Cady. 734 00:37:37.430 --> 00:37:38.800 But I'm always on your left. 735 00:37:39.000 --> 00:37:42.200 That was when there were three of us, and now the tallest go in the middle. 736 00:37:42.400 --> 00:37:44.560 But the whole dance will be backwards. 737 00:37:44.770 --> 00:37:46.300 I'm always on your left. 738 00:37:46.510 --> 00:37:49.480 And right now you're getting on my last nerve. Switch. 739 00:37:51.110 --> 00:37:54.050 And finally, please welcome to the stage 740 00:37:54.250 --> 00:37:57.240 Santa's Helpers doing "Jingle Bell Rock". 741 00:38:08.530 --> 00:38:12.360 Jingle bell, jingle bell Jingle bell rock 742 00:38:12.570 --> 00:38:16.130 Jingle bells swing And jingle bells ring 743 00:38:16.340 --> 00:38:19.670 Snowing and blowing Up bustels of fun 744 00:38:20.410 --> 00:38:23.930 Now the jingle top has begun 745 00:38:24.140 --> 00:38:27.550 Jingle bell, jingle bell Jingle bell rock 746 00:38:27.750 --> 00:38:31.410 Jingle bells chime In jingle bell time 747 00:38:31.620 --> 00:38:35.550 Dancing and prancing In Jingle Bell Square 748 00:38:35.760 --> 00:38:37.090 In the fr... 749 00:38:45.130 --> 00:38:46.430 Jason? 750 00:38:53.010 --> 00:38:56.870 What a bright time It's the right time 751 00:38:57.080 --> 00:38:59.910 To rock the night away 752 00:39:00.580 --> 00:39:05.310 Jingle bell time Is a swell time 753 00:39:05.520 --> 00:39:08.780 To go riding in a one-torse sleigh 754 00:39:08.990 --> 00:39:12.430 Giddyap jingle torse Pick up your feet 755 00:39:12.630 --> 00:39:15.990 Jingle around the clock 756 00:39:16.200 --> 00:39:19.830 Mix and mingle in a jingling beat 757 00:39:20.030 --> 00:39:21.730 That's the jingle bell 758 00:39:21.940 --> 00:39:23.430 That's the jingle bell 759 00:39:23.640 --> 00:39:26.940 That's the jingle bell rock 760 00:39:41.690 --> 00:39:42.982 That was the best it ever went! 761 00:39:43.120 --> 00:39:45.180 - That was awesome. - Lip gloss. 762 00:39:45.760 --> 00:39:47.780 - Hey, good job, Africa. - Thanks. 763 00:39:48.360 --> 00:39:50.330 Cady's blushing. Oh, my God. 764 00:39:50.530 --> 00:39:52.900 - You totally have a crush on that guy. - No, I don't. 765 00:39:53.100 --> 00:39:54.892 That's why you wanted to join the Mathletes. 766 00:39:55.040 --> 00:39:56.700 Mathletes? You hate math. 767 00:39:56.900 --> 00:39:58.530 Look how red she is. 768 00:39:58.740 --> 00:40:00.970 You love him. And he totally complimented you. 769 00:40:01.170 --> 00:40:02.800 That is so fetch. 770 00:40:03.240 --> 00:40:05.540 Gretchen, stop trying to make "fetch" happen. 771 00:40:05.750 --> 00:40:07.210 It's not going to happen. 772 00:40:12.550 --> 00:40:14.880 Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant 773 00:40:15.090 --> 00:40:19.020 while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? 774 00:40:19.230 --> 00:40:20.820 What's so great about Caesar? 775 00:40:21.030 --> 00:40:22.690 Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. 776 00:40:22.900 --> 00:40:24.520 OK, Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. 777 00:40:24.730 --> 00:40:27.189 People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. 778 00:40:27.300 --> 00:40:28.919 And when did it become OK for one person 779 00:40:29.000 --> 00:40:30.260 to be the boss of everybody? 780 00:40:30.470 --> 00:40:32.012 Because that's not what Rome is about! 781 00:40:32.140 --> 00:40:34.940 We should totally just stab Caesar!" 782 00:40:36.740 --> 00:40:38.970 Gretchen Wieners had cracked. 783 00:40:39.850 --> 00:40:43.480 OK, if you even knew how mean she really is. 784 00:40:44.020 --> 00:40:47.080 You know that I'm not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? 785 00:40:47.290 --> 00:40:50.420 Yeah. Two years ago, she told me that hoop earrings were her thing 786 00:40:50.620 --> 00:40:52.537 and that I wasn't allowed to wear them anymore. 787 00:40:52.660 --> 00:40:54.850 And then for my Hanukkah, my parents got me this pair 788 00:40:55.060 --> 00:40:57.830 of really expensive white-gold hoops. 789 00:40:58.030 --> 00:41:00.930 And I had to pretend like I didn't even like them, 790 00:41:01.370 --> 00:41:02.600 and it was so sad. 791 00:41:03.270 --> 00:41:04.790 And you know she cheats on Aaron? 792 00:41:05.010 --> 00:41:07.200 Yes. Every Thursday he thinks she's doing SAT prep. 793 00:41:07.410 --> 00:41:10.160 But really, she's hooking up with Shane Oman in the projection room 794 00:41:10.340 --> 00:41:12.040 above the auditorium, 795 00:41:12.250 --> 00:41:14.540 and I never told anybody that, because... 796 00:41:14.750 --> 00:41:18.210 ...I'm such a good friend. 797 00:41:20.590 --> 00:41:24.350 Jackpot. Gretchen's secret had put the plan back in motion. 798 00:41:24.560 --> 00:41:26.435 After Christmas break, we tried every Thursday 799 00:41:26.630 --> 00:41:28.750 to help Aaron catch Regina in the act. 800 00:42:00.430 --> 00:42:01.660 Hey. 801 00:42:01.860 --> 00:42:03.350 Hey, what's up? 802 00:42:03.560 --> 00:42:05.120 My purse! 803 00:42:05.930 --> 00:42:07.749 Looks like he's headed for the projection room 804 00:42:07.830 --> 00:42:09.460 above the auditorium! 805 00:42:19.150 --> 00:42:20.980 Coach Carr? 806 00:42:22.250 --> 00:42:23.940 Trang Pak? 807 00:42:24.150 --> 00:42:24.620 Guys, why did we think we could do this? We're amateurs. 808 00:42:24.621 --> 00:42:26.509 Guys, why did we think we could do this? We're amateurs. 809 00:42:26.590 --> 00:42:29.210 No, we just have to regroup. Think outside our box. 810 00:42:29.420 --> 00:42:31.050 What are Kälteen bars? 811 00:42:31.260 --> 00:42:33.160 They're these weird Swedish nutrition bars. 812 00:42:33.360 --> 00:42:36.319 My mom used to give them to the kids in Africa to help them gain weight. 813 00:42:40.400 --> 00:42:43.270 They're these weird nutrition bars my mom uses to lose weight. 814 00:42:43.470 --> 00:42:45.170 Give me it. 815 00:42:48.010 --> 00:42:50.480 It's all in, like, Swedish or something. 816 00:42:50.940 --> 00:42:53.110 Yeah, you know, there's some weird ingredient in them 817 00:42:53.310 --> 00:42:55.080 that's not legal in the U.S. yet. 818 00:42:55.280 --> 00:42:57.180 - Ephedrine? - No. 819 00:42:57.380 --> 00:42:59.510 - Phentermine. - No. 820 00:43:01.050 --> 00:43:04.460 It burns carbs. It just burns up all your carbs. 821 00:43:04.790 --> 00:43:07.160 I really wanna lose 3 pounds. 822 00:43:08.430 --> 00:43:09.979 Oh, my God, what are you talking about? 823 00:43:10.060 --> 00:43:11.330 You're so skinny. 824 00:43:11.530 --> 00:43:12.900 Shut up. 825 00:43:13.670 --> 00:43:15.419 The weird thing about hanging out with Regina 826 00:43:15.500 --> 00:43:17.389 was that I could hate her, and at the same time, 827 00:43:17.470 --> 00:43:18.800 I still wanted her to like me. 828 00:43:19.010 --> 00:43:21.370 OK. You have really good eyebrows. 829 00:43:21.580 --> 00:43:23.200 - Thanks. - Move. 830 00:43:23.540 --> 00:43:26.140 Same with Gretchen. The meaner Regina was to her, 831 00:43:26.350 --> 00:43:28.510 the more Gretchen tried to win Regina back. 832 00:43:28.720 --> 00:43:31.120 Ste knew it was better to be in The Plastics, hating life 833 00:43:31.320 --> 00:43:32.980 than to not be in at all. 834 00:43:33.420 --> 00:43:36.390 Because being with The Plastics was like being famous. 835 00:43:36.920 --> 00:43:38.309 People looked at you all the time, 836 00:43:38.390 --> 00:43:40.660 and everybody just knew stuff about you. 837 00:43:40.860 --> 00:43:43.020 That new girl moved here from Africa. 838 00:43:43.230 --> 00:43:45.630 I saw Cady Heron wearing Army pants and flip-flops, 839 00:43:45.830 --> 00:43:48.390 so I bought Army pants and flip-flops. 840 00:43:48.600 --> 00:43:50.130 That Cady girl is hot. 841 00:43:50.340 --> 00:43:52.310 She might even be hotter than Regina George. 842 00:43:52.510 --> 00:43:55.240 I hear Regina George is dating Aaron Samuels again. 843 00:43:55.440 --> 00:43:58.310 The two were seen canoodling at Chris Eisel's Halloween party. 844 00:43:58.510 --> 00:44:00.740 They've been inseparable ever since. 845 00:44:11.360 --> 00:44:12.760 I was a woman possessed. 846 00:44:12.960 --> 00:44:15.620 I spent about 80 percent of my time talking about Regina. 847 00:44:15.830 --> 00:44:17.279 And the other 20 percent of the time, 848 00:44:17.360 --> 00:44:19.189 I was praying for someone else to bring her up 849 00:44:19.270 --> 00:44:21.060 so I could talk about her more. 850 00:44:21.270 --> 00:44:23.589 She's not even that good-looking if you really look at her. 851 00:44:23.670 --> 00:44:25.570 I don't know. Now that's she's getting fatter, 852 00:44:25.770 --> 00:44:27.210 she's got pretty big jugs. 853 00:44:27.410 --> 00:44:29.119 I could hear people getting bored with me. 854 00:44:29.210 --> 00:44:32.650 But I couldn't stop. It just kept coming up like word vomit. 855 00:44:33.050 --> 00:44:36.467 I have this theory that if you cut all her hair off, she'd look like a British man. 856 00:44:36.580 --> 00:44:39.550 Yeah, I know. You told me that one before. 857 00:44:40.090 --> 00:44:41.350 Hey, I'm having an art show. 858 00:44:41.550 --> 00:44:43.739 So why don't you take a night off from your double life. 859 00:44:43.820 --> 00:44:46.220 - I want you to see it. - Coolness. 860 00:44:47.890 --> 00:44:49.120 What is that smell? 861 00:44:49.330 --> 00:44:51.160 Oh, Regina gave me some perfume. 862 00:44:51.360 --> 00:44:53.260 You smell like a baby prostitute. 863 00:44:53.470 --> 00:44:54.730 Thanks. 864 00:44:56.140 --> 00:44:59.400 Meanwhile, I was finding any excuse I could to talk to Aaron. 865 00:44:59.610 --> 00:45:02.230 I don't get this. Do you get any of this? 866 00:45:02.680 --> 00:45:04.470 Nice job, Cady. 867 00:45:05.610 --> 00:45:07.740 Kind of seems like you get it. 868 00:45:08.010 --> 00:45:10.740 If I was gonna keep this going, I was gonna have to really commit. 869 00:45:13.490 --> 00:45:14.920 Not your best. 870 00:45:15.720 --> 00:45:17.820 Damn, Africa, what happened? 871 00:45:18.020 --> 00:45:20.720 - How'd you do? - Not so good. 872 00:45:20.930 --> 00:45:22.520 You know, I think I need a tutor. 873 00:45:23.260 --> 00:45:26.260 I'll tutor you, if you ever wanna get together after school or something. 874 00:45:26.400 --> 00:45:28.160 Do you think Regina would mind? 875 00:45:28.370 --> 00:45:29.930 No. You guys are friends. 876 00:45:32.640 --> 00:45:34.630 Well, maybe we just won't tell her. 877 00:45:35.140 --> 00:45:37.370 So, what did you get for this one? 878 00:45:37.580 --> 00:45:39.372 Well, the first time I did it, I got a zero. 879 00:45:39.580 --> 00:45:42.410 - Wrong. - But then when I checked it, I got... 880 00:45:42.620 --> 00:45:44.140 - ...one. - There you go. 881 00:45:44.350 --> 00:45:45.940 I got one too. 882 00:45:46.590 --> 00:45:49.110 Yeah, you have to check it because sometimes the product 883 00:45:49.320 --> 00:45:51.810 of two negative integers is a positive number. 884 00:45:52.290 --> 00:45:54.490 Yeah, like negative four and negative six. 885 00:45:55.160 --> 00:45:57.820 That's right. That's good. 886 00:45:58.030 --> 00:46:00.120 Well, you're a good tutor. 887 00:46:08.510 --> 00:46:12.840 Man, look, I... I can't do this. 888 00:46:13.050 --> 00:46:15.810 - It's not fair to Regina. - Why do you like her? 889 00:46:16.020 --> 00:46:18.710 Look, I know she can be really mean sometimes, but... 890 00:46:18.920 --> 00:46:20.820 - Then why do you like her? - Why do you? 891 00:46:21.390 --> 00:46:23.209 Look, there's good and bad to everybody. Right? 892 00:46:23.290 --> 00:46:24.980 Regina's just... 893 00:46:25.190 --> 00:46:28.020 - She's just more up-front about it. - Oh, no. It was coming up. 894 00:46:28.230 --> 00:46:30.079 The word vomit. I didn't mean to say it, but... 895 00:46:30.160 --> 00:46:31.930 She's cheating on you! 896 00:46:34.100 --> 00:46:35.530 What? 897 00:46:40.110 --> 00:46:42.400 Did he say why? 898 00:46:42.610 --> 00:46:44.510 Somebody told him about Shane Oman. 899 00:46:45.080 --> 00:46:46.410 Who? 900 00:46:46.610 --> 00:46:48.152 He said some guy on the baseball team. 901 00:46:48.310 --> 00:46:50.440 Baseball team? 902 00:46:50.650 --> 00:46:54.050 I gave him everything. I was half a virgin when I met him. 903 00:46:54.250 --> 00:46:55.780 You wanna do something fun? 904 00:46:56.620 --> 00:46:58.180 You wanna go to Taco Bell? 905 00:46:58.390 --> 00:47:01.720 I can't go to Taco Bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. 906 00:47:01.930 --> 00:47:04.760 God, Karen, you are so stupid! 907 00:47:04.960 --> 00:47:06.450 Regina, wait. Talk to me. 908 00:47:06.670 --> 00:47:09.760 - Nobody understands me. - I understand you. 909 00:47:10.200 --> 00:47:11.800 You're not stupid, Karen. 910 00:47:12.010 --> 00:47:14.200 No. I am, actually. 911 00:47:14.410 --> 00:47:16.600 I'm failing almost everything. 912 00:47:16.810 --> 00:47:18.740 Well, there must be something you're good at. 913 00:47:20.550 --> 00:47:22.310 I can put my whole fist in my mouth. 914 00:47:22.520 --> 00:47:23.740 Wanna see? 915 00:47:23.950 --> 00:47:25.780 No. That's OK. 916 00:47:25.990 --> 00:47:27.250 Anything else? 917 00:47:28.250 --> 00:47:30.090 I'm kind of psychic. 918 00:47:30.290 --> 00:47:32.160 I have a fifth sense. 919 00:47:32.930 --> 00:47:36.230 - What do you mean? - It's like I have ESPN or something. 920 00:47:36.760 --> 00:47:40.060 My breasts can always tell when it's gonna rain. 921 00:47:41.530 --> 00:47:44.090 Really? That's amazing. 922 00:47:45.040 --> 00:47:47.970 Well, they can tell when it's raining. 923 00:47:51.980 --> 00:47:53.810 I have to admit, I was mildly horrified 924 00:47:54.010 --> 00:47:56.385 when Aaron didn't immediately ask me to be his girlfriend. 925 00:47:56.520 --> 00:47:58.854 I mean, I know he was sad, but how much time did he need? 926 00:47:58.950 --> 00:48:00.440 Regina had moved on. 927 00:48:03.260 --> 00:48:05.620 Do you guys need anything? Some snacks? 928 00:48:06.160 --> 00:48:07.520 A condom? 929 00:48:07.730 --> 00:48:11.160 Let me know. Oh, God love you. 930 00:48:11.360 --> 00:48:13.152 But overall, the plan was going pretty well. 931 00:48:13.300 --> 00:48:15.430 Aaron had dumped Regina, and she was unknowingly 932 00:48:15.640 --> 00:48:17.300 eating 5,000 calories a day. 933 00:48:17.500 --> 00:48:19.792 It was time to turn our attention to the army of skanks. 934 00:48:21.210 --> 00:48:23.979 And finally, the nominees for Spring Fling Queen are as follows: 935 00:48:23.980 --> 00:48:26.099 And finally, the nominees for Spring Fling Queen are as follows: 936 00:48:26.180 --> 00:48:28.370 Regina George. 937 00:48:29.920 --> 00:48:31.940 Gretchen Wieners. 938 00:48:33.990 --> 00:48:35.220 Janis Ian. 939 00:48:36.060 --> 00:48:38.220 What is happening to the world? 940 00:48:38.930 --> 00:48:40.360 And the final nominee... 941 00:48:40.560 --> 00:48:43.050 I couldn't help myself. It was so easy. 942 00:48:43.260 --> 00:48:44.490 ...is Cady Heron. 943 00:48:45.230 --> 00:48:47.730 Damian, you put me in there too? That's not part of the plan. 944 00:48:47.870 --> 00:48:49.490 I didn't put you in there. 945 00:48:49.700 --> 00:48:51.800 You mean I'm really nominated? 946 00:48:55.740 --> 00:48:58.300 In January, Regina had put a Spring Fling dress on hold 947 00:48:58.510 --> 00:49:00.040 at a store called 1-3-5. 948 00:49:00.250 --> 00:49:02.240 But being Plastic, she needed our advice 949 00:49:02.450 --> 00:49:03.799 before she could actually buy it. 950 00:49:03.880 --> 00:49:05.580 Can someone zip me up? 951 00:49:08.450 --> 00:49:11.010 - It won't close. - It's a 5. 952 00:49:11.220 --> 00:49:12.850 OK, it must be marked wrong. 953 00:49:13.060 --> 00:49:15.930 Cady, all I've been eating are these Kälteen bars. They suck. 954 00:49:16.130 --> 00:49:18.290 No, no, this is just how they work. 955 00:49:18.500 --> 00:49:19.860 This is all your water weight. 956 00:49:20.070 --> 00:49:22.690 First you bloat, and then you drop 10 pounds like that: 957 00:49:23.470 --> 00:49:25.800 Well, the Kälteen bars have burned up all your carbs, 958 00:49:26.010 --> 00:49:27.730 and now your body's just running on water. 959 00:49:27.940 --> 00:49:30.107 But once the water's gone, then you'll be all muscle. 960 00:49:30.210 --> 00:49:31.910 It explains it all on the label. 961 00:49:32.110 --> 00:49:33.540 You know Swedish? 962 00:49:33.750 --> 00:49:36.370 Yeah, everyone in Africa can read Swedish. 963 00:49:36.950 --> 00:49:39.010 Ma'am, do you have this in the next size up? 964 00:49:39.220 --> 00:49:42.120 Sorry. We only carry sizes 1, 3 and 5. 965 00:49:42.320 --> 00:49:43.550 You could try Sears. 966 00:49:55.540 --> 00:49:57.200 Cady. 967 00:49:57.400 --> 00:50:00.460 I need your parents to sign this so they know that you're failing. 968 00:50:01.140 --> 00:50:02.370 Failing? 969 00:50:02.580 --> 00:50:04.497 You know what's weird about your quizzes, Cady, 970 00:50:04.680 --> 00:50:07.440 is that all the work is right and just the answers are wrong. 971 00:50:07.810 --> 00:50:10.010 - Really? - Really. 972 00:50:10.220 --> 00:50:12.080 Cady, I know that having a boyfriend 973 00:50:12.290 --> 00:50:15.120 may seem like the most important thing in the world right now, 974 00:50:15.320 --> 00:50:17.987 but you don't have to dumb yourself down to get guys to like you. 975 00:50:18.160 --> 00:50:19.750 - How would you know? - I know, 976 00:50:19.960 --> 00:50:21.930 "How would I know", right? 977 00:50:22.130 --> 00:50:25.220 I'm divorced. I'm broke from getting divorced. 978 00:50:25.430 --> 00:50:28.460 The only guy that ever calls my house is Randy from Chase Visa. 979 00:50:29.040 --> 00:50:30.260 And you know why? 980 00:50:30.470 --> 00:50:33.030 Because I'm a pusher. I push people. 981 00:50:33.240 --> 00:50:36.000 I pushed my husband into law school. That was a bust. 982 00:50:36.210 --> 00:50:38.470 I pushed myself into working three jobs. 983 00:50:38.680 --> 00:50:40.080 And now I'm gonna push you 984 00:50:40.280 --> 00:50:42.180 because I know you're smarter than this. 985 00:50:42.380 --> 00:50:44.547 Thanks, Ms. Norbury. And if there's anything I can do 986 00:50:44.720 --> 00:50:46.209 for extra credit, please let me know. 987 00:50:46.290 --> 00:50:47.650 Oh, I will. 988 00:50:48.290 --> 00:50:50.590 I hate her! I mean, she's totally failing me on purpose 989 00:50:50.790 --> 00:50:52.549 because I didn't join those stupid Mathletes! 990 00:50:52.630 --> 00:50:53.850 She was so queer. 991 00:50:54.060 --> 00:50:56.650 She was like, "I'm a pusher, Cady. I'm a pusher." 992 00:50:57.730 --> 00:50:58.960 What does that even mean? 993 00:50:59.170 --> 00:51:01.160 - Like a drug pusher? - Probably. 994 00:51:01.370 --> 00:51:02.890 She said she works three jobs. 995 00:51:03.100 --> 00:51:04.789 You know, I bet she sells drugs on the side 996 00:51:04.870 --> 00:51:06.204 to pay for her pathetic divorce. 997 00:51:06.310 --> 00:51:08.170 You let it out, honey. 998 00:51:08.370 --> 00:51:10.340 Put it in the book. 999 00:51:15.050 --> 00:51:17.180 I know it may look like I'd become a bitch, 1000 00:51:17.380 --> 00:51:19.820 but that's only because I was acting like a bitch. 1001 00:51:20.020 --> 00:51:22.720 Hey, I called you last night. How come you didn't call me back? 1002 00:51:22.920 --> 00:51:24.860 Oh, I got busy. Sorry. 1003 00:51:25.060 --> 00:51:27.550 So you need a ride to my art show this weekend? 1004 00:51:28.190 --> 00:51:30.360 No. I have to go to Madison with my parents. 1005 00:51:30.560 --> 00:51:32.090 I'm so sorry. 1006 00:51:32.300 --> 00:51:33.890 Well, you wanna watch a movie tonight? 1007 00:51:34.100 --> 00:51:37.300 Can't. I'm doing major Plastic sabotage tonight. 1008 00:51:37.540 --> 00:51:40.030 But we don't have anything planned for tonight. 1009 00:51:40.240 --> 00:51:42.470 Oh, I planned this one on my own. 1010 00:51:42.680 --> 00:51:43.900 Love you. Bye. 1011 00:51:46.880 --> 00:51:48.229 Gretchen thinks you're mad at her 1012 00:51:48.310 --> 00:51:50.069 because she's running for Spring Fling Queen. 1013 00:51:50.150 --> 00:51:53.210 Oh, my God, I'm not mad at her. I'm worried about her. 1014 00:51:53.420 --> 00:51:55.579 I think somebody nominated her as a joke or something. 1015 00:51:55.660 --> 00:51:58.720 And when nobody votes for her, she's gonna have a total meltdown. 1016 00:51:58.930 --> 00:52:01.220 And who's gonna have to take care of her? Me. 1017 00:52:01.430 --> 00:52:04.790 So you don't think anyone will vote for her? 1018 00:52:05.000 --> 00:52:06.760 Cady, she's not pretty. 1019 00:52:06.970 --> 00:52:09.090 I mean, that sounds bad, but whatever. 1020 00:52:09.300 --> 00:52:11.360 The Spring Fling Queen is always pretty. 1021 00:52:11.570 --> 00:52:13.630 And the crazy thing is is that it should be Karen, 1022 00:52:13.840 --> 00:52:16.430 but people forget about her because she's such a slut. 1023 00:52:16.640 --> 00:52:18.670 Anyway, I gotta go. I'm going to bed. 1024 00:52:21.780 --> 00:52:24.150 Well, she's not mad at you. 1025 00:52:24.350 --> 00:52:26.980 - Hold on. - Are you OK? 1026 00:52:34.260 --> 00:52:36.320 - Hello? - If someone said something bad 1027 00:52:36.530 --> 00:52:38.322 about you, you'd want me to tell you, right? 1028 00:52:39.530 --> 00:52:40.860 - No. - What if it was someone 1029 00:52:41.070 --> 00:52:42.500 you thought was your friend? 1030 00:52:42.700 --> 00:52:44.690 What are you...? Hold on. Other line. 1031 00:52:44.900 --> 00:52:47.029 - I'm not taking this anymore. - Good for you, Gretch. 1032 00:52:47.110 --> 00:52:48.540 - Hello? - Let's go out. 1033 00:52:48.740 --> 00:52:50.830 OK. Hold on. I'm on the other line with Gretchen. 1034 00:52:51.040 --> 00:52:53.410 Don't invite Gretchen. She's driving me nuts. 1035 00:52:53.610 --> 00:52:55.240 - Hold on. - OK, hurry up. 1036 00:52:56.350 --> 00:52:57.580 It's Regina. 1037 00:52:57.780 --> 00:53:00.669 She wants to hang out with me tonight, but she told me not to tell you. 1038 00:53:00.750 --> 00:53:02.380 Do not hang out with her. 1039 00:53:02.590 --> 00:53:05.180 - Why? - You don't want me to tell you. 1040 00:53:05.390 --> 00:53:06.920 You can tell me. Hold on. 1041 00:53:08.590 --> 00:53:10.990 Oh, my God, she's so annoying. 1042 00:53:11.200 --> 00:53:12.430 Who is? 1043 00:53:12.630 --> 00:53:14.660 - Who's this? - Gretchen. 1044 00:53:14.870 --> 00:53:16.930 Right. Hold on. 1045 00:53:18.370 --> 00:53:22.810 - Oh, my God, she's so annoying. - I know. Just get rid of her. 1046 00:53:24.680 --> 00:53:25.910 OK. What is it? 1047 00:53:26.110 --> 00:53:29.010 Regina says everyone hates you because you're such a slut. 1048 00:53:29.780 --> 00:53:31.340 She said that? 1049 00:53:31.550 --> 00:53:33.310 You didn't hear it from me. 1050 00:53:34.350 --> 00:53:37.080 - Little harsh, Gretch. - Whatever. She has a right to know. 1051 00:53:37.290 --> 00:53:39.090 I can't go out. 1052 00:53:39.930 --> 00:53:41.330 I'm sick. 1053 00:53:41.530 --> 00:53:43.520 Boo. You whore. 1054 00:53:49.170 --> 00:53:50.930 Regina, 1055 00:53:51.140 --> 00:53:52.430 we have to talk to you. 1056 00:53:52.640 --> 00:53:54.330 Is butter a carb? 1057 00:53:54.840 --> 00:53:56.140 Yes. 1058 00:53:56.340 --> 00:53:59.000 Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. 1059 00:53:59.210 --> 00:54:00.440 It's Monday. 1060 00:54:01.180 --> 00:54:03.240 - So? - So that's against the rules 1061 00:54:03.450 --> 00:54:04.940 and you can't sit with us. 1062 00:54:05.420 --> 00:54:07.720 Whatever. Those rules aren't real. 1063 00:54:08.690 --> 00:54:10.450 They were real that day I wore a vest. 1064 00:54:10.660 --> 00:54:13.650 - Because that vest was disgusting. - You can't sit with us! 1065 00:54:20.570 --> 00:54:23.330 These sweatpants are all that fits me right now. 1066 00:54:29.980 --> 00:54:31.270 Fine. 1067 00:54:31.480 --> 00:54:33.470 You can walk home, bitches. 1068 00:54:34.650 --> 00:54:37.280 Watch where you're going, fat-ass! 1069 00:54:44.860 --> 00:54:47.420 Gretchen and Karen followed me around all afternoon. 1070 00:54:47.630 --> 00:54:49.979 - So, what are we doing this weekend? - Yeah, what are we doing? 1071 00:54:50.060 --> 00:54:51.852 Oh, I have to go to Madison with my parents. 1072 00:54:52.300 --> 00:54:53.890 What...? 1073 00:54:54.100 --> 00:54:55.690 We have tickets for this thing. 1074 00:54:55.900 --> 00:54:57.890 - What? - What? 1075 00:54:58.100 --> 00:55:00.400 Was I the new queen bee? 1076 00:55:01.670 --> 00:55:03.040 I can try and get out of it. 1077 00:55:03.380 --> 00:55:04.600 - Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah. 1078 00:55:04.810 --> 00:55:07.680 Because I told my friend Janis I'd go to her art show. 1079 00:55:07.880 --> 00:55:09.870 We've had these tickets for months. 1080 00:55:10.080 --> 00:55:12.070 You love Ladysmith Black Mambazo. 1081 00:55:12.290 --> 00:55:14.750 But she's my friend, and I made her a promise. 1082 00:55:15.190 --> 00:55:17.920 I think Cady's old enough to spend one night on her own. 1083 00:55:21.430 --> 00:55:24.560 I had learned how to control everyone around me. 1084 00:55:25.530 --> 00:55:28.360 Hey. I'm having a small get-together at my house tomorrow night. 1085 00:55:28.970 --> 00:55:31.560 - Is Regina going? - No. Do you think I'm an idiot? 1086 00:55:31.770 --> 00:55:33.389 No, it's just gonna be a few cool people, 1087 00:55:33.470 --> 00:55:35.012 and you better be one of them, byotch. 1088 00:55:35.640 --> 00:55:37.540 - Fine, I'll go. - Shut up. 1089 00:55:37.740 --> 00:55:39.730 I love that shirt on you. 1090 00:55:45.320 --> 00:55:48.410 Aaron Samuels was going to be in my house at my party. 1091 00:55:48.620 --> 00:55:50.450 Everything had to be perfect. 1092 00:55:55.130 --> 00:55:56.620 And this time when Aaron saw me, 1093 00:55:56.830 --> 00:55:59.390 I wouldn't be caught in some ridiculous costume. 1094 00:56:00.070 --> 00:56:01.290 Hey, guys. 1095 00:56:02.700 --> 00:56:04.430 - You look awesome! - You look awesome! 1096 00:56:04.640 --> 00:56:06.070 I know, right? 1097 00:56:06.270 --> 00:56:08.489 OK, so I got enough cheese and crackers for eight people. 1098 00:56:08.570 --> 00:56:10.300 Do you think that's enough? 1099 00:56:10.510 --> 00:56:12.340 - Yeah. - Yeah. Oh, yeah. 1100 00:56:12.550 --> 00:56:14.140 OK. 1101 00:56:17.950 --> 00:56:19.180 It was not enough. 1102 00:56:19.390 --> 00:56:21.950 Somehow, the word had gotten out about my small get-together. 1103 00:56:22.150 --> 00:56:24.180 Jason is here with Taylor Wedell. 1104 00:56:24.390 --> 00:56:26.190 He's just using her to make you mad. 1105 00:56:26.390 --> 00:56:28.950 - Have you guys seen Aaron yet? - No. 1106 00:56:30.700 --> 00:56:33.490 Dude, put on "The Ramayana Monkey Chant". 1107 00:56:42.410 --> 00:56:45.400 - Do I know you? - Deek! What up, dog? 1108 00:56:52.080 --> 00:56:54.310 She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me? 1109 00:56:54.520 --> 00:56:56.509 - Who does she think she is? - You're right, hon. 1110 00:56:56.590 --> 00:56:59.080 I, like, invented her, you know what I mean? 1111 00:57:07.200 --> 00:57:09.170 Jason. 1112 00:57:09.370 --> 00:57:10.860 I have to talk to you. 1113 00:57:12.040 --> 00:57:13.510 Whatever. 1114 00:57:14.510 --> 00:57:16.600 - I love you. - I know, I know. 1115 00:57:19.410 --> 00:57:22.180 Hey! Put that down! 1116 00:57:28.090 --> 00:57:30.110 Was Aaron blowing me off? 1117 00:57:37.330 --> 00:57:39.820 What's up? Gretchen came to talk to me. 1118 00:57:40.030 --> 00:57:41.730 - Oh, no. - Look, 1119 00:57:41.930 --> 00:57:45.370 I don't wanna hurt your feelings, but I only date women of color. 1120 00:57:46.510 --> 00:57:47.900 I have to pee. 1121 00:58:00.890 --> 00:58:02.440 Get out. 1122 00:58:47.070 --> 00:58:48.290 - Hey. - Hey. 1123 00:58:48.500 --> 00:58:49.959 I've been looking for you everywhere. 1124 00:58:50.040 --> 00:58:51.330 Me too. 1125 00:58:53.470 --> 00:58:55.410 You look... 1126 00:58:56.040 --> 00:58:58.340 - New clothes? - Thanks. 1127 00:58:59.650 --> 00:59:00.980 You wanna go downstairs? 1128 00:59:01.180 --> 00:59:03.510 No, no. Let's stay here. 1129 00:59:06.650 --> 00:59:08.309 Thanks for getting me to come out tonight. 1130 00:59:08.390 --> 00:59:09.620 Yeah, sure, no problem. 1131 00:59:09.820 --> 00:59:12.790 I wasted too much time being pissed off at Regina. 1132 00:59:12.990 --> 00:59:14.480 No more liars. 1133 00:59:14.690 --> 00:59:16.520 I would never lie to you. 1134 00:59:16.730 --> 00:59:18.490 I know, I know. 1135 00:59:18.700 --> 00:59:20.100 Although... 1136 00:59:20.300 --> 00:59:22.630 OK, listen. I mean, I did lie to you once, 1137 00:59:22.840 --> 00:59:25.007 but you're totally gonna laugh when I tell you, so... 1138 00:59:25.170 --> 00:59:26.800 Tell me what? 1139 00:59:28.170 --> 00:59:30.970 I pretended to be bad at math so that you'd help me. 1140 00:59:31.180 --> 00:59:34.240 But the thing is, I'm not really bad at math. 1141 00:59:34.450 --> 00:59:37.380 I'm actually really good at math. You're kind of bad at math. 1142 00:59:37.950 --> 00:59:40.110 Anyways, now I'm failing. Isn't that funny? 1143 00:59:40.590 --> 00:59:42.950 Wait. You're failing on purpose? That's stupid. 1144 00:59:43.160 --> 00:59:45.820 No. Not on purpose. Just, you know... 1145 00:59:46.030 --> 00:59:47.614 I just wanted a reason to talk to you. 1146 00:59:47.790 --> 00:59:49.420 So why didn't you just talk to me? 1147 00:59:49.630 --> 00:59:51.560 Well, because I couldn't. Because of Regina. 1148 00:59:51.760 --> 00:59:53.320 Because you were her property... 1149 00:59:53.530 --> 00:59:55.660 - Her property? - No. Shut up. Not her property... 1150 00:59:55.870 --> 00:59:57.360 No, don't tell me to shut up. 1151 00:59:57.570 --> 00:59:59.230 - I wasn't... - God, you know what? 1152 00:59:59.670 --> 01:00:02.300 You are just like a clone of Regina. 1153 01:00:02.510 --> 01:00:05.170 Oh, no, no, listen to me. You're not listening to me... 1154 01:00:05.380 --> 01:00:09.710 Oh, no. It was coming up again. Word vomit. No, wait a minute... 1155 01:00:09.920 --> 01:00:12.710 - What is this?! - Actual vomit. 1156 01:00:16.090 --> 01:00:17.450 Aaron! 1157 01:00:17.760 --> 01:00:19.820 Aaron, wait! Just... 1158 01:00:21.260 --> 01:00:23.820 OK. Call me. 1159 01:00:28.530 --> 01:00:31.630 - Oh, God. - You dirty little liar. 1160 01:00:31.840 --> 01:00:33.670 I'm sorry. I can explain. 1161 01:00:33.870 --> 01:00:36.100 Explain how you forgot to invite us to your party? 1162 01:00:36.310 --> 01:00:37.759 Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew. 1163 01:00:37.840 --> 01:00:40.740 You know I couldn't invite you. I had to pretend to be Plastic. 1164 01:00:40.950 --> 01:00:42.970 Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. 1165 01:00:43.180 --> 01:00:46.150 You're Plastic. Cold, shiny, hard Plastic. 1166 01:00:46.550 --> 01:00:48.280 Curfew, 1 a.m. It is now 1:10. 1167 01:00:48.490 --> 01:00:50.180 Did you have an awesome time? 1168 01:00:50.390 --> 01:00:53.520 Did you drink awesome shooters and listen to awesome music, 1169 01:00:53.730 --> 01:00:56.520 and then just sit around and soak up each other's awesomeness? 1170 01:00:56.730 --> 01:00:58.179 You're the one who made me like this 1171 01:00:58.260 --> 01:01:00.600 so you could use me for your eighth-grade revenge. 1172 01:01:00.800 --> 01:01:03.630 God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean. 1173 01:01:03.840 --> 01:01:08.240 You try to act like you're so innocent. Like, "Oh, I used to live in Africa 1174 01:01:08.440 --> 01:01:10.559 with all the little birdies and the little monkeys." 1175 01:01:10.640 --> 01:01:13.474 You know what? It's not my fault you're in love with me or something! 1176 01:01:13.650 --> 01:01:15.240 - What?! - Oh, no she did not! 1177 01:01:15.450 --> 01:01:17.610 See? That is the thing with you Plastics. 1178 01:01:17.820 --> 01:01:20.280 You think that everybody is in love with you, 1179 01:01:20.490 --> 01:01:22.610 when actually, everybody hates you. 1180 01:01:22.820 --> 01:01:24.580 Like Aaron Samuels, for example. 1181 01:01:24.790 --> 01:01:26.620 He broke up with Regina and guess what. 1182 01:01:26.830 --> 01:01:28.420 He still doesn't want you. 1183 01:01:28.630 --> 01:01:31.790 So why are you still messing with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why. 1184 01:01:32.000 --> 01:01:35.560 Because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch! 1185 01:01:36.470 --> 01:01:39.670 Here. You can have this. It won a prize. 1186 01:01:42.040 --> 01:01:44.340 And I want my pink shirt back! 1187 01:01:44.540 --> 01:01:47.240 I want my pink shirt back! 1188 01:02:01.290 --> 01:02:02.730 Hon, slow down. 1189 01:02:02.930 --> 01:02:05.490 It's like I can't trust anyone anymore. 1190 01:02:06.630 --> 01:02:08.100 Why are you eating a Kälteen bar? 1191 01:02:08.300 --> 01:02:10.700 - I'm starving. - Man, I hate those things. 1192 01:02:10.900 --> 01:02:14.340 Coach Carr makes us eat those when we wanna move up a weight class. 1193 01:02:15.910 --> 01:02:17.170 What? 1194 01:02:17.980 --> 01:02:20.380 They make you gain weight like crazy. 1195 01:02:21.580 --> 01:02:23.380 Mother... 1196 01:02:48.510 --> 01:02:54.840 This girl is the nastiest skank bitch 1197 01:02:55.050 --> 01:02:59.310 I've ever met. 1198 01:02:59.520 --> 01:03:07.520 Do not trust her. She is a fugly slut! 1199 01:03:28.150 --> 01:03:33.480 I found it in the girls' bathroom. It's so mean, Mr. Duvall. 1200 01:03:33.690 --> 01:03:34.980 Is this true? 1201 01:03:35.190 --> 01:03:37.350 Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr? 1202 01:03:38.890 --> 01:03:41.420 Good Lord. 1203 01:03:41.630 --> 01:03:44.120 What's that say? "Kaitlyn Caussin is a..."? 1204 01:03:44.330 --> 01:03:45.990 Fat whore. 1205 01:03:49.100 --> 01:03:51.190 OK, calm down, Miss George. 1206 01:03:51.840 --> 01:03:55.360 Why would someone write that? That's just so mean. 1207 01:03:55.840 --> 01:03:58.170 Don't worry, we're gonna find out who did it. 1208 01:03:58.380 --> 01:04:00.940 There's only three girls in the whole school who aren't in it. 1209 01:04:01.950 --> 01:04:04.470 At your age, you're gonna be having a lot of urges. 1210 01:04:04.680 --> 01:04:07.880 You're gonna want to take off your clothes and touch each other. 1211 01:04:08.250 --> 01:04:12.620 But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia. And die. 1212 01:04:12.830 --> 01:04:14.220 Coach Carr. 1213 01:04:17.600 --> 01:04:20.060 Cady Heron, they wanna see you in the principal's office. 1214 01:04:22.630 --> 01:04:26.760 All right, chlamydia. K-L-A... 1215 01:04:29.540 --> 01:04:31.510 In here, Miss Heron. 1216 01:04:39.890 --> 01:04:42.980 - What's going on? - Have a seat, Miss Heron. 1217 01:04:46.930 --> 01:04:48.950 - Have you ever seen this before? - No. 1218 01:04:49.500 --> 01:04:51.830 I mean, yes, I've seen it before, but it's not mine. 1219 01:04:52.030 --> 01:04:53.849 You better get your story straight, Miss Heron, 1220 01:04:53.930 --> 01:04:55.700 because I'm not messing around here. 1221 01:04:55.900 --> 01:04:57.600 It's not ours, it's Regina's. 1222 01:04:57.840 --> 01:05:01.530 Yeah, she's trying to make it look like we wrote it, but really, she wrote it. 1223 01:05:01.740 --> 01:05:07.980 Miss Wieners, why would Regina refer to herself as a "fugly slut"? 1224 01:05:10.580 --> 01:05:13.280 Miss Smith, this is no time to be laughing. 1225 01:05:13.490 --> 01:05:15.680 We're gonna get to the bottom of this right now. 1226 01:05:34.140 --> 01:05:37.600 Maybe we're not in that book, because everybody likes us. 1227 01:05:37.810 --> 01:05:40.070 And I don't wanna be punished for being well-liked. 1228 01:05:40.610 --> 01:05:44.340 And I don't think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, 1229 01:05:44.550 --> 01:05:46.520 would be too pleased to hear about this. 1230 01:05:55.630 --> 01:05:57.750 "Made out with a hot dog"? 1231 01:05:57.960 --> 01:06:00.900 Oh, my God, that was one time! 1232 01:06:03.200 --> 01:06:07.430 "Dawn Schweitzer has a huge ass"? Who would write that? 1233 01:06:07.640 --> 01:06:09.370 Who wouldn't write that? 1234 01:06:10.740 --> 01:06:12.840 "Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr"? 1235 01:06:13.050 --> 01:06:14.600 And so did Sun Jin Dinh. 1236 01:06:22.490 --> 01:06:25.460 Hey! Hey! Settle down! All right, hey. 1237 01:06:25.660 --> 01:06:28.560 No. You do not push and sh... 1238 01:06:42.270 --> 01:06:44.070 Do you have anything else you wanna say? 1239 01:06:44.280 --> 01:06:45.729 No, I can't answer any more questions 1240 01:06:45.810 --> 01:06:47.470 until I have a parent or lawyer present. 1241 01:06:48.710 --> 01:06:49.940 Miss Smith? 1242 01:06:51.080 --> 01:06:54.610 Whoever wrote it probably didn't think anyone would ever see it? 1243 01:06:54.820 --> 01:06:57.250 I hope that nobody else ever does see it. 1244 01:07:08.770 --> 01:07:11.260 Mom, can you pick me up? I'm scared. 1245 01:07:12.440 --> 01:07:14.770 - "Janis Ian, dyke"? - That's original. 1246 01:07:14.970 --> 01:07:16.740 - "Too gay to function"?! - Hey! 1247 01:07:16.940 --> 01:07:19.000 That's only OK when I say it. 1248 01:07:19.210 --> 01:07:22.080 - Did you write this? - No, I swear! 1249 01:07:22.280 --> 01:07:24.940 - Then you told somebody! - She told! 1250 01:07:25.220 --> 01:07:28.240 - You little bitch! - You're a bitch! 1251 01:07:30.320 --> 01:07:32.290 Yeah! Take your top off! 1252 01:07:34.290 --> 01:07:36.540 - Now, here's what we're gonna do... - Ron, come quick! 1253 01:07:36.660 --> 01:07:40.000 They've gone wild. The girls have gone wild. 1254 01:07:49.170 --> 01:07:51.340 It was full-tilt jungle madness. 1255 01:07:54.810 --> 01:07:56.780 And it wasn't going away. 1256 01:08:03.220 --> 01:08:05.850 Hey, I pulled these two off each other. 1257 01:08:06.060 --> 01:08:08.860 Coach Carr, step away from the underage girls. 1258 01:08:13.830 --> 01:08:15.300 Let me help you down there. 1259 01:08:16.000 --> 01:08:19.560 Hell, no! I did not leave the Southside for this! 1260 01:08:23.410 --> 01:08:25.540 Oh, crap! My hair! 1261 01:08:25.740 --> 01:08:31.270 All junior girls report to the gymnasium immediately! Immediately! 1262 01:08:36.320 --> 01:08:37.850 Have you ever walked up to people 1263 01:08:38.060 --> 01:08:40.350 and realized they were just talking about you? 1264 01:08:42.460 --> 01:08:45.620 Have you ever had it happen 60 times in a row? 1265 01:08:46.030 --> 01:08:47.620 I have. 1266 01:09:06.650 --> 01:09:11.090 Never in my 14 years as an educator have I seen such behavior. 1267 01:09:11.420 --> 01:09:13.290 And from young ladies. 1268 01:09:13.830 --> 01:09:17.760 I got parents calling me on the phone asking, "Did someone get shot?" 1269 01:09:18.060 --> 01:09:20.000 I ought to cancel your Spring Fling. 1270 01:09:20.200 --> 01:09:21.430 No! 1271 01:09:21.700 --> 01:09:23.117 - No. - What are we supposed to do? 1272 01:09:23.400 --> 01:09:26.300 Now, I'm not gonna do that, because we've already paid the DJ. 1273 01:09:26.570 --> 01:09:29.770 But don't think that I'm not taking this book seriously. 1274 01:09:30.180 --> 01:09:33.080 Coach Carr has fled school property. 1275 01:09:33.710 --> 01:09:36.080 Ms. Norbury has been accused of selling drugs. 1276 01:09:37.480 --> 01:09:39.780 Now, what the young ladies in this grade need 1277 01:09:39.990 --> 01:09:42.010 is an attitude makeover. 1278 01:09:42.420 --> 01:09:44.790 And you're gonna get it right now. 1279 01:09:44.990 --> 01:09:48.860 I don't care how long it takes, I will keep you here all night. 1280 01:09:49.060 --> 01:09:50.460 We can't keep them past 4. 1281 01:09:50.660 --> 01:09:52.890 I will keep you here until 4. 1282 01:09:54.770 --> 01:09:57.354 Now, what we're gonna try to do is fix the way you young ladies 1283 01:09:57.440 --> 01:09:58.930 relate to each other. 1284 01:09:59.140 --> 01:10:01.700 OK? Lady to lady. 1285 01:10:01.910 --> 01:10:04.900 So who has a lady problem that they'd like to talk about? 1286 01:10:08.710 --> 01:10:10.080 Yes? 1287 01:10:10.280 --> 01:10:13.510 Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin 1288 01:10:13.720 --> 01:10:15.740 because I use super-jumbo tampons. 1289 01:10:15.950 --> 01:10:19.820 But I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina. 1290 01:10:21.760 --> 01:10:23.560 Yeah, I can't do this. 1291 01:10:23.960 --> 01:10:25.190 Ms. Norbury. 1292 01:10:25.430 --> 01:10:29.160 You're a successful, intelligent, caring, graceful woman. 1293 01:10:29.470 --> 01:10:30.700 I am? 1294 01:10:30.900 --> 01:10:33.259 There has to be something you can say to these young ladies. 1295 01:10:33.340 --> 01:10:35.270 Something to help them with their self-esteem? 1296 01:10:35.640 --> 01:10:36.932 It's not a self-esteem problem. 1297 01:10:37.080 --> 01:10:39.600 I think they're all pretty pleased with themselves. 1298 01:10:41.810 --> 01:10:43.040 OK. 1299 01:10:44.320 --> 01:10:48.310 OK. Everybody close your eyes. 1300 01:10:49.690 --> 01:10:52.250 I want you to raise your hand if you have ever had a girl 1301 01:10:52.460 --> 01:10:55.590 say something bad about you behind your back. 1302 01:10:57.630 --> 01:10:59.490 Open your eyes. 1303 01:11:01.200 --> 01:11:02.720 Now, close your eyes again. 1304 01:11:02.930 --> 01:11:05.730 And this time, I want you to raise your hand if you have ever 1305 01:11:05.940 --> 01:11:08.500 said anything about a friend behind her back. 1306 01:11:14.880 --> 01:11:16.180 Open them. 1307 01:11:20.550 --> 01:11:23.250 There's been some girl-on-girl crime here. 1308 01:11:24.320 --> 01:11:28.050 OK. So, what we could do today is a couple exercises to help you 1309 01:11:28.260 --> 01:11:31.160 express your anger in a healthy way. 1310 01:11:32.100 --> 01:11:33.390 Let's start over here. 1311 01:11:33.600 --> 01:11:35.517 Ms. Norbury had us confront each other directly 1312 01:11:35.600 --> 01:11:37.189 about the things that were bothering us. 1313 01:11:37.270 --> 01:11:39.419 And it seemed like every clique had its own problems. 1314 01:11:39.500 --> 01:11:42.529 You've been acting really stuck-up ever since you switched to shortfielder. 1315 01:11:42.610 --> 01:11:44.370 And Dawn agrees with me. 1316 01:11:44.580 --> 01:11:46.200 - Dawn? - Don't drag me into this, 1317 01:11:46.410 --> 01:11:47.710 I'm pitching tomorrow. 1318 01:11:55.590 --> 01:11:57.580 OK. Good. 1319 01:11:58.520 --> 01:12:01.460 Can I just say that we don't have a clique problem at this school? 1320 01:12:01.660 --> 01:12:04.519 And some of us shouldn't have to take this workshop, because some of us 1321 01:12:04.600 --> 01:12:06.690 are just victims in this situation. 1322 01:12:06.900 --> 01:12:09.030 That's probably true. How many of you 1323 01:12:09.230 --> 01:12:13.030 have ever felt personally victimized by Regina George? 1324 01:12:22.880 --> 01:12:25.410 Good. OK, who's next? 1325 01:12:25.620 --> 01:12:27.140 Who's next? 1326 01:12:29.420 --> 01:12:30.750 Cady. 1327 01:12:30.960 --> 01:12:32.650 Do you have anything you wanna own up to? 1328 01:12:33.360 --> 01:12:35.090 Yes. No. 1329 01:12:35.690 --> 01:12:38.160 You never made up a rumor about anybody? 1330 01:12:38.560 --> 01:12:39.790 Just that you sell drugs. 1331 01:12:40.000 --> 01:12:41.230 No. 1332 01:12:41.630 --> 01:12:43.900 Nothing you want to apologize for? 1333 01:12:44.340 --> 01:12:45.799 I couldn't apologize to Ms. Norbury 1334 01:12:45.940 --> 01:12:47.960 without getting blamed for the whole Burn Book. 1335 01:12:48.240 --> 01:12:49.670 No. 1336 01:12:50.910 --> 01:12:53.170 I'm really disappointed in you, Cady. 1337 01:12:55.550 --> 01:12:58.570 OK, so we're all here because of this book, right? 1338 01:12:58.850 --> 01:13:01.610 Well, I don't know who wrote this book, 1339 01:13:01.820 --> 01:13:05.590 but you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. 1340 01:13:05.790 --> 01:13:08.760 It just makes it OK for guys to call you sluts and whores. 1341 01:13:08.960 --> 01:13:10.520 Who here has ever been called a slut? 1342 01:13:15.700 --> 01:13:17.290 OK, everybody up. 1343 01:13:17.500 --> 01:13:19.042 Ms. Norbury had us write out apologies 1344 01:13:19.240 --> 01:13:21.400 to people that we'd hurt in our lives. 1345 01:13:21.670 --> 01:13:25.270 "Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch." 1346 01:13:25.480 --> 01:13:28.000 "It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed." 1347 01:13:32.450 --> 01:13:33.920 "Gretchen, 1348 01:13:34.120 --> 01:13:36.550 "I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea" 1349 01:13:36.760 --> 01:13:38.380 "at Barnes and Noble." 1350 01:13:38.590 --> 01:13:40.490 "And I'm sorry I told everyone about it." 1351 01:13:40.990 --> 01:13:43.480 And I'm sorry for repeating it now. 1352 01:13:48.230 --> 01:13:50.260 Laura, I don't hate you because you're fat. 1353 01:13:50.470 --> 01:13:52.800 You're fat because I hate you. 1354 01:13:56.440 --> 01:14:00.470 I just wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. 1355 01:14:00.680 --> 01:14:04.620 I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, 1356 01:14:04.820 --> 01:14:06.720 and we'd all eat it and be happy. 1357 01:14:06.920 --> 01:14:08.550 She doesn't even go here! 1358 01:14:10.460 --> 01:14:12.510 Do you even go to this school? 1359 01:14:12.720 --> 01:14:16.390 No. I just have a lot of feelings. 1360 01:14:16.700 --> 01:14:18.160 OK, go home. 1361 01:14:22.130 --> 01:14:23.797 Sharon, I think you're doing a great job. 1362 01:14:24.000 --> 01:14:25.667 Thanks. I feel like I'm getting through. 1363 01:14:25.770 --> 01:14:28.170 I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me. 1364 01:14:28.910 --> 01:14:31.470 But I can't help it that I'm popular. 1365 01:14:36.410 --> 01:14:39.540 Oh, my God! Oh, jeez. OK, walk it off. Walk it off. 1366 01:14:39.750 --> 01:14:41.910 OK. That hurt. 1367 01:14:42.720 --> 01:14:44.050 They're OK. 1368 01:14:44.590 --> 01:14:46.280 They're OK. 1369 01:14:47.090 --> 01:14:52.090 Oh, boy. OK, who's next? Who's next? Keep it going. 1370 01:14:55.800 --> 01:14:59.740 Oh, my God. It's her dream come true, diving into a big pile of girls. 1371 01:15:01.070 --> 01:15:04.240 OK, yeah, I've got an apology. 1372 01:15:06.210 --> 01:15:10.880 So I have this friend who is a new student this year. 1373 01:15:11.080 --> 01:15:15.140 And I convinced her that it would be fun to mess up Regina George's life. 1374 01:15:15.350 --> 01:15:17.840 So I had her pretend to be friends with Regina, 1375 01:15:18.060 --> 01:15:19.709 and then she would come to my house after 1376 01:15:19.790 --> 01:15:22.490 and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Regina said. 1377 01:15:22.690 --> 01:15:24.232 And we gave her these candy bar things 1378 01:15:24.430 --> 01:15:26.060 that would make her gain weight, 1379 01:15:26.260 --> 01:15:28.460 and we turned her best friends against her. 1380 01:15:28.930 --> 01:15:31.900 And then... Oh, yeah, Cady... You know my friend Cady. 1381 01:15:32.100 --> 01:15:33.900 She made out with Regina's boyfriend 1382 01:15:34.110 --> 01:15:36.200 and then convinced him to break up with her. 1383 01:15:36.410 --> 01:15:39.040 Oh, God, and we gave you foot cream instead of face wash. 1384 01:15:39.240 --> 01:15:41.870 God! I am so sorry, Regina. 1385 01:15:42.080 --> 01:15:44.010 Really, I don't know why I did it. 1386 01:15:44.220 --> 01:15:49.450 I guess it's probably because I've got a big lesbian crush on you. 1387 01:15:49.650 --> 01:15:51.350 Suck on that! 1388 01:15:52.460 --> 01:15:56.330 Janis! Janis! Janis! Janis! 1389 01:16:03.130 --> 01:16:04.360 Regina! 1390 01:16:05.840 --> 01:16:07.770 Regina, wait! I didn't mean for that to happen. 1391 01:16:07.970 --> 01:16:09.970 To find out that everyone hates me? I don't care. 1392 01:16:10.180 --> 01:16:12.170 Regina, please! Regina, stop! 1393 01:16:12.380 --> 01:16:15.040 No! Do you know what everyone says about you? 1394 01:16:15.250 --> 01:16:17.292 They say that you're a home-schooled jungle freak, 1395 01:16:17.380 --> 01:16:19.210 who's a less-hot version of me. 1396 01:16:19.420 --> 01:16:22.180 Yeah. So don't try to act so innocent. 1397 01:16:22.390 --> 01:16:25.650 You can take that fake apology and shove it right up your hairy... 1398 01:16:29.390 --> 01:16:31.990 And that's how Regina George died. 1399 01:16:32.200 --> 01:16:35.260 No, I'm totally kidding. But she did get hurt. 1400 01:16:35.470 --> 01:16:37.730 Some girls say they saw her head go all the way around. 1401 01:16:37.940 --> 01:16:40.730 But that's just a rumor. Some people swear they saw me 1402 01:16:40.940 --> 01:16:43.357 push her in front of the bus. That was an even worse rumor. 1403 01:16:45.240 --> 01:16:48.730 - Everybody done? - No. Mom, I didn't do it. 1404 01:16:48.940 --> 01:16:50.710 I don't know what to believe anymore. 1405 01:16:50.910 --> 01:16:53.010 Mom, believe me. I'm your daughter. 1406 01:16:56.150 --> 01:16:58.880 Why are my tribal vases under the sink? 1407 01:16:59.090 --> 01:17:02.180 My tribal vases. Why were they under the sink? 1408 01:17:02.760 --> 01:17:04.090 I don't know. 1409 01:17:04.390 --> 01:17:06.690 This is the fertility vase of the Ndebele tribe. 1410 01:17:06.900 --> 01:17:09.920 - Does that mean anything to you? - No. 1411 01:17:10.770 --> 01:17:12.560 Who are you? 1412 01:17:17.170 --> 01:17:20.900 Great. All my friends hate me, and now my mom hates me. 1413 01:17:21.110 --> 01:17:23.010 Your mom does not hate you. 1414 01:17:23.210 --> 01:17:25.870 She's afraid of you. 1415 01:17:26.920 --> 01:17:30.910 I don't know, maybe we mainstream-schooled you too soon. 1416 01:17:31.120 --> 01:17:34.990 Maybe you should come back and be home-schooled again for a while. 1417 01:17:35.360 --> 01:17:39.380 No. Only thing worse than going back will be not going back. 1418 01:17:40.330 --> 01:17:42.350 How bad's it gonna be tomorrow? 1419 01:17:42.560 --> 01:17:45.660 Remember when we saw those lions fighting over the wart hog carcass? 1420 01:17:46.570 --> 01:17:47.800 I'll be the wart hog. 1421 01:17:48.300 --> 01:17:49.770 You're not a wart hog, 1422 01:17:49.970 --> 01:17:51.730 you're a lion. 1423 01:17:52.240 --> 01:17:54.670 Just focus on your studies for a little while. 1424 01:17:55.010 --> 01:17:57.340 You're still an excellent student, right? 1425 01:17:57.550 --> 01:18:00.980 Oh, yeah. I need you to sign my calculus test. 1426 01:18:01.350 --> 01:18:03.540 - Why? - I'm failing. 1427 01:18:06.850 --> 01:18:09.620 OK. You are... 1428 01:18:10.960 --> 01:18:12.430 What do they call it? 1429 01:18:12.690 --> 01:18:13.960 Grounded. 1430 01:18:14.430 --> 01:18:16.020 You're grounded. 1431 01:18:44.760 --> 01:18:46.280 She pushed her in front of the bus. 1432 01:18:47.030 --> 01:18:48.620 Did you see her do it? 1433 01:18:48.830 --> 01:18:50.160 Yes. 1434 01:19:04.650 --> 01:19:08.610 Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or Ecstasy tablets? 1435 01:19:08.820 --> 01:19:11.250 - No. - What are marijuana tablets? 1436 01:19:11.450 --> 01:19:13.350 What's going on? Where's Ms. Norbury? 1437 01:19:13.720 --> 01:19:17.780 Mr. Duvall, this is ridiculous. Ms. Norbury does not sell drugs. 1438 01:19:17.990 --> 01:19:21.190 I know, Aaron. But after the allegations against Coach Carr 1439 01:19:21.400 --> 01:19:23.660 turned out to be extremely true, 1440 01:19:23.870 --> 01:19:27.100 the school board felt that it was best that we investigate every claim made 1441 01:19:27.300 --> 01:19:28.530 in this Burn Book. 1442 01:19:28.740 --> 01:19:30.970 That book was written by a bunch of stupid girls 1443 01:19:31.170 --> 01:19:33.040 who make up rumors because they're bored 1444 01:19:33.240 --> 01:19:35.000 with their own lame lives. 1445 01:19:35.210 --> 01:19:38.099 Well, unless someone wants to come forward and say, "I made it all up", 1446 01:19:38.180 --> 01:19:40.770 this is how we have to handle it. To say that someone... 1447 01:19:40.980 --> 01:19:45.650 Oh, no. Bye, Aaron. You're gonna hate me forever. 1448 01:19:46.890 --> 01:19:48.580 Mr. Duvall. 1449 01:19:48.790 --> 01:19:50.020 I wrote it. 1450 01:19:52.930 --> 01:19:54.160 Come on, Cady. 1451 01:20:01.440 --> 01:20:02.930 When you get bit by a snake, 1452 01:20:03.140 --> 01:20:05.000 you're supposed to suck the poison out. 1453 01:20:05.210 --> 01:20:09.010 That's what I had to do. Suck all the poison out of my life. 1454 01:20:09.710 --> 01:20:11.270 I started with Regina, 1455 01:20:11.480 --> 01:20:13.869 who was living proof that the more people are scared of you, 1456 01:20:13.950 --> 01:20:15.250 the more flowers you get. 1457 01:20:16.450 --> 01:20:17.680 Then there was Ms. Norbury, 1458 01:20:17.890 --> 01:20:21.450 who was living proof that no good deed goes unpunished. 1459 01:20:22.120 --> 01:20:24.610 Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs? 1460 01:20:24.830 --> 01:20:28.790 - I'm just done with my quiz. - Wait. I'll grade it right now. 1461 01:20:33.330 --> 01:20:35.560 I gotta say, watching the police search my house 1462 01:20:35.770 --> 01:20:39.260 really was the cherry on top of a fantastic year. 1463 01:20:40.540 --> 01:20:43.030 How much trouble did you get in for telling the truth? 1464 01:20:43.240 --> 01:20:44.540 A lot. 1465 01:20:44.880 --> 01:20:46.529 You didn't write that whole book yourself. 1466 01:20:46.610 --> 01:20:48.277 Did you tell Mr. Duvall who else did it? 1467 01:20:49.020 --> 01:20:50.439 No, because I'm trying this new thing 1468 01:20:50.520 --> 01:20:52.710 where I don't talk about people behind their backs. 1469 01:20:53.050 --> 01:20:56.150 That's all right. Getting hit by a bus is pretty good punishment. 1470 01:20:56.360 --> 01:20:57.620 Ninety-four. 1471 01:20:57.830 --> 01:20:59.550 Welcome back, nerd. 1472 01:21:00.060 --> 01:21:01.320 Thanks. 1473 01:21:02.430 --> 01:21:03.830 Anyway... 1474 01:21:04.830 --> 01:21:06.300 ...I'm sorry. 1475 01:21:06.500 --> 01:21:07.830 I forgive you. 1476 01:21:08.140 --> 01:21:10.470 But as my own personal form of punishment, 1477 01:21:10.670 --> 01:21:13.070 I figured out how you're gonna earn that extra credit. 1478 01:21:14.580 --> 01:21:16.010 What's up? 1479 01:22:14.540 --> 01:22:17.500 Excellent. Great turnout this year. 1480 01:22:24.850 --> 01:22:26.750 - All right. It's all you. - OK. 1481 01:22:26.950 --> 01:22:28.710 - Make me look good out there. - OK. 1482 01:22:28.920 --> 01:22:32.220 Marymount, you sons of bitches. You no-good sons of bitches. 1483 01:22:33.090 --> 01:22:34.650 - You nervous? - Yes. 1484 01:22:34.860 --> 01:22:38.220 Don't be. You can do this. There's nothing to break your focus, 1485 01:22:38.430 --> 01:22:41.020 because not one of those Marymount boys is cute. 1486 01:22:42.900 --> 01:22:44.349 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 1487 01:22:44.430 --> 01:22:47.097 Welcome to the Illinois High School Mathletes State Championship. 1488 01:22:47.270 --> 01:22:50.200 Let's start the competition. Here is the first question. 1489 01:22:50.640 --> 01:22:53.770 Twice the larger of two numbers is three more than five times 1490 01:22:53.980 --> 01:22:55.980 the smaller, and the sum of four times the larger 1491 01:22:56.080 --> 01:22:59.310 and three times the smaller is 71. What are...? 1492 01:22:59.510 --> 01:23:01.610 - North Shore? - Fourteen and five. 1493 01:23:01.820 --> 01:23:03.370 That is correct. Question number two. 1494 01:23:03.580 --> 01:23:06.680 Find an odd three-digit number whose digits add up to 12. 1495 01:23:06.890 --> 01:23:10.057 The digits are all different, and the difference between the first two digits 1496 01:23:10.160 --> 01:23:11.494 equals the difference between... 1497 01:23:11.690 --> 01:23:13.520 - Marymount? - 741. 1498 01:23:13.730 --> 01:23:17.060 - Correct. - Shoot. I was really rusty. 1499 01:23:17.970 --> 01:23:20.590 - Where's Cady? - She went out. 1500 01:23:20.970 --> 01:23:22.200 She's grounded. 1501 01:23:22.870 --> 01:23:25.030 Are they not allowed out when they're grounded? 1502 01:23:32.080 --> 01:23:35.240 Don't forget to vote for Spring Fling King and Queen, people. 1503 01:23:35.450 --> 01:23:38.280 These A-holes will represent you for a full calendar year. 1504 01:23:38.490 --> 01:23:41.750 I'm gonna vote for Regina George because she got hit by that bus. 1505 01:23:41.960 --> 01:23:45.050 I'm voting for Cady Heron because she pushed her. 1506 01:23:53.270 --> 01:23:56.630 She's supposed to be grounded, but he let her out. 1507 01:23:56.900 --> 01:24:00.670 After 87 minutes of very competitive play, we have a tie. 1508 01:24:00.880 --> 01:24:04.110 In the event of a tie, we move into a sudden-death round. 1509 01:24:04.310 --> 01:24:07.840 Each team is given the opportunity to choose their opponent. 1510 01:24:08.250 --> 01:24:12.020 - North Shore, who do you select? - The girl, dude. The girl. 1511 01:24:12.220 --> 01:24:13.650 Contestant Krafft. 1512 01:24:13.890 --> 01:24:17.090 From Marymount, Miss Caroline Krafft. 1513 01:24:19.890 --> 01:24:21.760 We pick the girl too. 1514 01:24:22.000 --> 01:24:24.290 And from North Shore, Miss Cady Heron. 1515 01:24:24.500 --> 01:24:26.230 It's Cady. 1516 01:24:26.670 --> 01:24:28.160 Oh, my God, that's me. 1517 01:24:36.410 --> 01:24:39.570 Miss Caroline Krafft seriously needed to pluck her eyebrows. 1518 01:24:39.780 --> 01:24:44.110 Her outfit looked like it was picked out by a blind Sunday school teacher. 1519 01:24:44.320 --> 01:24:47.190 And she had some 99-cent lip gloss on her snaggletooth. 1520 01:24:47.660 --> 01:24:50.560 And that's when I realized, making fun of Caroline Krafft 1521 01:24:50.760 --> 01:24:53.320 wouldn't stop her from beating me in this contest. 1522 01:24:53.530 --> 01:24:56.990 Contestants, find the limit of this equation. 1523 01:24:57.800 --> 01:25:00.230 Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. 1524 01:25:00.430 --> 01:25:02.770 Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. 1525 01:25:02.970 --> 01:25:06.430 And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. 1526 01:25:06.640 --> 01:25:10.080 All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you. 1527 01:25:11.050 --> 01:25:13.910 - The limit is negative one. - Oh, crap. I lost. 1528 01:25:14.120 --> 01:25:15.740 That answer is incorrect. 1529 01:25:16.550 --> 01:25:19.520 Now, we are in a sudden death. If Miss Heron can answer 1530 01:25:19.720 --> 01:25:22.750 this problem correctly, we have a winner. 1531 01:25:22.960 --> 01:25:25.690 Limits. Why couldn't I remember anything about limits? 1532 01:25:25.890 --> 01:25:28.380 Limits. That was the week Aaron got his hair cut. 1533 01:25:28.600 --> 01:25:31.000 Oh, God, he looked so cute. OK, focus, Cady. 1534 01:25:31.200 --> 01:25:33.530 What was on the board behind Aaron's head? 1535 01:25:34.400 --> 01:25:36.960 If the limit never approaches anything... 1536 01:25:37.170 --> 01:25:39.200 The limit does not exist. 1537 01:25:39.410 --> 01:25:40.740 The limit does not exist! 1538 01:25:41.040 --> 01:25:42.910 Our new state champions, 1539 01:25:43.110 --> 01:25:45.200 - the North Shore Mathletes. - Yeah! 1540 01:25:54.990 --> 01:25:56.420 How do you like me now? 1541 01:25:56.820 --> 01:26:00.420 You like that? Yeah! Get some! Get some! 1542 01:26:00.830 --> 01:26:03.020 Awesome. You went with the leather sleeves. 1543 01:26:03.230 --> 01:26:05.320 - Africa, you did the damn thing. - Thanks. 1544 01:26:06.800 --> 01:26:08.170 Thanks, K.G. 1545 01:26:08.370 --> 01:26:11.600 We're gonna look so kick-ass in these when we roll into Spring Fling. 1546 01:26:11.810 --> 01:26:13.470 - Oh, no, I'm not going. - What? 1547 01:26:13.670 --> 01:26:15.499 Cady, this is your night. Don't let the haters 1548 01:26:15.580 --> 01:26:16.910 stop you from doing your thang. 1549 01:26:17.450 --> 01:26:18.940 Did you just say "thang"? 1550 01:26:19.150 --> 01:26:21.109 Cady, you don't have to punish yourself forever. 1551 01:26:21.280 --> 01:26:23.010 But I'm grounded. 1552 01:26:23.320 --> 01:26:24.910 You're already out. 1553 01:26:35.830 --> 01:26:37.860 All right, do we have all of our nominees 1554 01:26:38.070 --> 01:26:39.900 for king and queen on the stage? 1555 01:26:40.430 --> 01:26:44.840 OK, good. I just wanted to say that you're all winners. 1556 01:26:45.170 --> 01:26:48.940 And I could not be happier that this school year's ending. 1557 01:26:49.680 --> 01:26:55.840 Here we go. The winner of the Spring Fling King, 1558 01:26:56.180 --> 01:26:59.050 - Shane Oman. - Yes! 1559 01:26:59.420 --> 01:27:01.320 That's what I'm talking about! 1560 01:27:04.130 --> 01:27:06.250 And your Spring Fling Queen, 1561 01:27:06.730 --> 01:27:08.920 future co-chair of the Student Activities Board 1562 01:27:09.130 --> 01:27:12.100 and winner of two gift certificates 1563 01:27:12.300 --> 01:27:14.290 to the Walker Brothers Pancake House, 1564 01:27:14.670 --> 01:27:16.030 Cady Heron. 1565 01:27:20.710 --> 01:27:22.510 Where is Cady? 1566 01:27:24.350 --> 01:27:26.010 There she is. 1567 01:27:42.760 --> 01:27:44.250 Thanks. 1568 01:27:46.330 --> 01:27:48.730 Well, half the people in this room are mad at me. 1569 01:27:48.940 --> 01:27:51.840 And the other half only like me 1570 01:27:52.040 --> 01:27:55.240 because they think I pushed somebody in front of a bus. 1571 01:27:55.440 --> 01:27:57.640 So that's not good. 1572 01:27:58.110 --> 01:28:00.770 You know, it's not really required of you to make a speech. 1573 01:28:00.980 --> 01:28:02.920 I'm almost done, I swear. 1574 01:28:03.780 --> 01:28:08.690 To all the people whose feelings that got hurt by the Burn Book, 1575 01:28:09.220 --> 01:28:10.990 I'm really sorry. 1576 01:28:12.360 --> 01:28:15.390 You know, I've never been to one of these things before. 1577 01:28:15.600 --> 01:28:18.930 And when I think about how many people wanted this 1578 01:28:20.000 --> 01:28:21.990 and how many people cried over it and stuff... 1579 01:28:23.740 --> 01:28:27.640 I mean, I think everybody looks like royalty tonight. 1580 01:28:27.840 --> 01:28:31.870 Look at Jessica Lopez. That dress is amazing. 1581 01:28:32.080 --> 01:28:34.880 And Emma Gerber, I mean, that hairdo must have taken hours, 1582 01:28:35.080 --> 01:28:36.410 and you look really pretty. 1583 01:28:39.190 --> 01:28:40.590 So... 1584 01:28:41.390 --> 01:28:43.820 ...why is everybody stressing over this thing? 1585 01:28:44.020 --> 01:28:48.320 I mean, it's just plastic. Could really just... 1586 01:28:51.300 --> 01:28:52.630 Share it. 1587 01:28:52.970 --> 01:28:57.340 A piece for Gretchen Wieners, a partial Spring Fling Queen. 1588 01:28:59.740 --> 01:29:02.040 A piece for Janis Ian. 1589 01:29:03.640 --> 01:29:06.270 Seriously, most people just take the crown and go. 1590 01:29:06.480 --> 01:29:08.510 And a piece for Regina George. 1591 01:29:08.720 --> 01:29:11.550 She fractured her spine, and she still looks like a rock star. 1592 01:29:14.020 --> 01:29:15.250 Thank you. 1593 01:29:15.460 --> 01:29:17.890 And some for everybody else. 1594 01:29:27.800 --> 01:29:29.560 God, Mr. Duvall, can you wrap it up? 1595 01:29:30.240 --> 01:29:31.700 Thanks. 1596 01:29:32.540 --> 01:29:34.870 All right, have a good time, everyone. 1597 01:29:41.880 --> 01:29:43.350 Look. I'm a queen. 1598 01:29:43.550 --> 01:29:45.110 As am I. 1599 01:29:45.550 --> 01:29:47.680 - Hey. - Hey. 1600 01:29:48.320 --> 01:29:50.380 So are we still in a fight? 1601 01:29:50.590 --> 01:29:52.680 Are you still an asshole? 1602 01:29:52.890 --> 01:29:54.120 I don't think so. 1603 01:29:54.330 --> 01:29:56.320 Well, then I guess we're OK. 1604 01:29:56.660 --> 01:29:58.500 Oh, my God, I love this song! 1605 01:29:58.700 --> 01:29:59.830 I hate this song. 1606 01:30:00.030 --> 01:30:01.870 I know this song! 1607 01:30:03.070 --> 01:30:05.270 Man candy, stage right. 1608 01:30:07.940 --> 01:30:10.840 - Hey, what's up? - Hey. Didn't think you'd make it. 1609 01:30:13.110 --> 01:30:16.499 On behalf of the senior class, I'd like to present you with two gift certificates... 1610 01:30:16.580 --> 01:30:18.280 - Thanks, sucker. - Yo, peace. 1611 01:30:20.020 --> 01:30:23.290 One gift certificate to the Walker Brothers Pancake House. 1612 01:30:23.720 --> 01:30:25.520 Thank you. 1613 01:30:29.960 --> 01:30:31.930 Congratulations on winning State. 1614 01:30:33.100 --> 01:30:34.767 I was so nervous. They made us do limits. 1615 01:30:34.940 --> 01:30:36.660 I thought I was gonna hurl. 1616 01:30:36.870 --> 01:30:39.130 - How's your stomach now? - It's fine. 1617 01:30:39.340 --> 01:30:42.170 - Do you feel nauseous at all? - No. 1618 01:30:42.380 --> 01:30:44.110 - Have you been drinking? - No. 1619 01:30:44.710 --> 01:30:45.940 OK. 1620 01:30:46.150 --> 01:30:47.370 Grool. 1621 01:31:12.640 --> 01:31:14.000 No. 1622 01:31:15.910 --> 01:31:18.570 - What's up? - Can I help you? 1623 01:31:19.210 --> 01:31:20.680 You Puerto Rican? 1624 01:31:20.880 --> 01:31:22.440 Lebanese. 1625 01:31:22.650 --> 01:31:24.170 I feel that. 1626 01:31:39.570 --> 01:31:42.160 In case you're wondering, The Plastics broke up. 1627 01:31:42.370 --> 01:31:44.460 Regina's spine healed, and her physical therapist 1628 01:31:44.670 --> 01:31:46.970 taught her to channel all her rage into sports. 1629 01:31:51.950 --> 01:31:54.640 It was perfect because the jock girls weren't afraid of her. 1630 01:31:58.950 --> 01:32:02.480 Karen used her special talents to do the morning weather announcements. 1631 01:32:02.690 --> 01:32:06.090 Hi. This is Karen Smith. It's 68 degrees, 1632 01:32:06.290 --> 01:32:10.530 and there's a 30 percent chance that it's already raining. 1633 01:32:11.400 --> 01:32:13.230 And Gretchen found herself a new clique 1634 01:32:13.430 --> 01:32:15.100 and a new queen bee to serve. 1635 01:32:20.040 --> 01:32:23.340 Aaron went to Northwestern, so I still get to see him on weekends. 1636 01:32:23.540 --> 01:32:24.510 And me? 1637 01:32:24.710 --> 01:32:27.370 I had gone from home-schooled jungle freak to shiny Plastic 1638 01:32:27.580 --> 01:32:30.680 to most hated person in the world to actual human being. 1639 01:32:30.880 --> 01:32:32.110 Hey. 1640 01:32:32.550 --> 01:32:36.350 All the drama from last year just wasn't important anymore. 1641 01:32:36.560 --> 01:32:40.360 School used to be like a shark tank, but now I could just float. 1642 01:32:40.560 --> 01:32:41.790 Regina. 1643 01:32:42.000 --> 01:32:44.520 Finally, Girl World was at peace. 1644 01:32:46.600 --> 01:32:50.660 Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics. 1645 01:32:50.870 --> 01:32:54.240 And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace... 1646 01:32:54.440 --> 01:32:57.430 Well, let's just say we knew how to take care of it. 1647 01:33:03.380 --> 01:33:05.010 Just kidding.