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WEBVTT
1
00:00:35.002 --> 00:00:36.401
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
2
00:00:36.503 --> 00:00:38.904
("THE OOGUM BOOGUM
SONG" PLAYING)
3
00:00:45.012 --> 00:00:46.173
SIMON: I'm just like you.
4
00:00:46.380 --> 00:00:48.405
For the most part,
my life is totally normal.
5
00:00:48.515 --> 00:00:50.313
- Happy birthday.
- No!
6
00:00:50.484 --> 00:00:52.543
SIMON: My dad was the annoyingly
handsome quarterback
7
00:00:52.686 --> 00:00:54.586
who married
the hot valedictorian.
8
00:00:55.722 --> 00:00:57.520
And, no, they didn't peak
In high school.
9
00:00:57.891 --> 00:00:59.188
- (CAR DOOR CLOSES)
- (HORN HONKS)
10
00:00:59.326 --> 00:01:00.555
I have a sister I actually like.
11
00:01:00.761 --> 00:01:01.922
Not that I'd ever tell her that.
12
00:01:02.095 --> 00:01:04.655
And last year, and 200 episodes
of Chopped ago...
13
00:01:04.731 --> 00:01:06.358
she decided
she wanted to be a chef.
14
00:01:06.667 --> 00:01:08.999
Which means we're pretty much
all her test subjects now.
15
00:01:16.076 --> 00:01:17.168
EMILY: Is it spicy, Jack?
16
00:01:17.277 --> 00:01:18.176
(SPITS)
17
00:01:18.278 --> 00:01:20.110
Oh! Gracious. Oh, my gosh.
18
00:01:20.213 --> 00:01:21.772
SIMON: And then
there's my friends.
19
00:01:23.917 --> 00:01:26.887
Two of them, I've known since
pretty much the beginning of time.
20
00:01:27.220 --> 00:01:29.245
- Or at least kindergarten.
- No. No.
21
00:01:29.556 --> 00:01:30.580
- LEAH: Oh! Sorry!
- Okay. How 'bout that?
22
00:01:31.024 --> 00:01:32.458
(CROWD CHEERING)
23
00:01:32.960 --> 00:01:35.019
SIMON: One of them,
I just met a few months ago,
24
00:01:35.095 --> 00:01:36.620
but it feels
like I've known her forever.
25
00:01:37.030 --> 00:01:38.122
We do everything friends do.
26
00:01:38.265 --> 00:01:40.063
We drink way too much
iced coffee,
27
00:01:40.133 --> 00:01:42.431
watch bad '90s movies
and hang out at Waffle House
28
00:01:42.536 --> 00:01:44.732
dreaming of college
and gorging on carbs.
29
00:01:45.272 --> 00:01:46.706
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
30
00:01:58.151 --> 00:01:59.312
SIMON: So, like I said.
31
00:02:00.420 --> 00:02:01.581
I'm just like you.
32
00:02:01.755 --> 00:02:04.122
I have a totally,
perfectly normal fife.
33
00:02:07.094 --> 00:02:09.119
Except I have
one huge-ass secret.
34
00:02:25.579 --> 00:02:27.445
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Hey! Morning! Oh!
35
00:02:28.315 --> 00:02:29.407
- Hey!
- Sorry.
36
00:02:29.516 --> 00:02:30.813
I didn't realize you
were masturbating.
37
00:02:31.018 --> 00:02:31.951
Yeah, very funny.
38
00:02:32.185 --> 00:02:33.346
Your sister's downstairs
making some
39
00:02:33.453 --> 00:02:35.512
la-Di-da pancake thing
she saw on Top Chef,
40
00:02:35.622 --> 00:02:37.090
so we should
probably go eat that.
41
00:02:37.324 --> 00:02:38.792
Great. I'll be down
in just a second.
42
00:02:38.925 --> 00:02:41.826
Okay. Right after you finish
searching the internet for...
43
00:02:42.329 --> 00:02:44.457
lingerie photos of Gigi Habib?
44
00:02:44.798 --> 00:02:46.960
(SCOFFS)
It's Hadid.
45
00:02:47.467 --> 00:02:49.765
Right. I didn't realize
she was your girlfriend.
46
00:02:49.836 --> 00:02:50.962
All right, finish up here.
47
00:02:52.172 --> 00:02:53.367
You got me.
48
00:03:00.147 --> 00:03:02.115
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
49
00:03:02.849 --> 00:03:03.839
Morning, guys.
50
00:03:03.950 --> 00:03:04.974
Simon, have a seat, honey.
51
00:03:05.052 --> 00:03:06.213
Morning, Simon.
You gotta eat your breakfast.
52
00:03:06.319 --> 00:03:07.218
Please don't tell me
53
00:03:07.320 --> 00:03:09.015
that breakfast is the most
important meal of the day
54
00:03:09.122 --> 00:03:11.056
because that is just so cliché.
You're better than that.
55
00:03:11.191 --> 00:03:13.353
I was gonna say breakfast
lowers LDL cholesterol
56
00:03:13.460 --> 00:03:15.224
and prevents
fluctuating glucose levels
57
00:03:15.328 --> 00:03:16.796
that lead to type two diabetes.
Oh!
58
00:03:17.497 --> 00:03:18.362
Touché.
59
00:03:19.166 --> 00:03:21.191
Nora. These are incredible.
60
00:03:21.468 --> 00:03:23.300
Cornmeal pancakes
with blackberry compote.
61
00:03:24.404 --> 00:03:25.496
But they're not crumbly enough.
62
00:03:25.739 --> 00:03:27.571
Stop it. They're perfect.
63
00:03:27.841 --> 00:03:28.865
(NORA SIGHS)
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00:03:28.975 --> 00:03:29.908
Eat up, Bieber.
65
00:03:30.243 --> 00:03:31.472
Okay, I didn't put
very much powder...
66
00:03:31.545 --> 00:03:32.808
- See you, guys.
- JACK: See you, Simon.
67
00:03:32.879 --> 00:03:34.745
EMILY: Hey, honey. Be back
by seven! It's TV night.
68
00:03:43.256 --> 00:03:44.917
(LEAF BLOWER WHIRS)
69
00:03:47.694 --> 00:03:48.559
Hey!
70
00:03:49.262 --> 00:03:50.161
Morning!
71
00:03:50.664 --> 00:03:52.325
It's Simon! I live right here!
72
00:03:54.234 --> 00:03:55.599
I like your boots!
73
00:03:58.905 --> 00:03:59.997
Okay, bye!
74
00:04:05.445 --> 00:04:07.004
- (SIGHS)
- (HORN HONKS)
75
00:04:08.281 --> 00:04:09.510
God damn.
76
00:04:20.427 --> 00:04:22.589
("ROLLERCOASTER" PLAYING)
77
00:04:28.935 --> 00:04:30.198
- Yo!
- Yo!
78
00:04:30.437 --> 00:04:32.235
Had the craziest dream
last night.
79
00:04:32.305 --> 00:04:34.239
Hey, Nick, you have the
craziest dream every night.
80
00:04:34.474 --> 00:04:35.873
NICK: You don't understand.
I'm in this cave, right?
81
00:04:35.942 --> 00:04:37.034
Or maybe it's in outer space.
82
00:04:37.110 --> 00:04:38.635
David Beckham is there
with these two contact lenses
83
00:04:38.912 --> 00:04:41.108
and then like, blue one or
red one, like he's a sexy
84
00:04:41.314 --> 00:04:42.577
Morpheus from Matrix.
85
00:04:42.649 --> 00:04:44.117
And I don't know
which one to pick.
86
00:04:44.217 --> 00:04:45.742
I don't know what to do
with these things.
87
00:04:46.052 --> 00:04:48.453
Oh, my God. Have you guys seen
CreekSecrets today?
88
00:04:48.722 --> 00:04:50.554
First of all, you are obsessed
with that blog, so...
89
00:04:50.791 --> 00:04:52.225
LEAH: Okay, but apparently,
Becca Peterson
90
00:04:52.459 --> 00:04:55.087
got caught giving Ryan O'Donovan
an HJ in the pool.
91
00:04:55.328 --> 00:04:56.955
That's the real reason
they drained it.
92
00:04:57.063 --> 00:04:58.895
- Man, our janitor needs a raise.
- LEAH: Oh, my God.
93
00:04:59.099 --> 00:05:00.589
- And an HPV vaccine.
- (NICK LAUGHS)
94
00:05:01.501 --> 00:05:02.764
NICK:
Leah, I have this dream, right?
95
00:05:02.836 --> 00:05:04.235
LEAH:
Nick, we have a rule, remember?
96
00:05:04.304 --> 00:05:05.965
No analyzing dreams
before coffee.
97
00:05:09.442 --> 00:05:11.342
Hi, could we get
four iced coffees, please?
98
00:05:11.444 --> 00:05:13.173
Oh, could you get Abby's
with milk? She likes milk.
99
00:05:13.647 --> 00:05:15.615
One with milk.
What are you, her barista?
100
00:05:16.483 --> 00:05:19.180
(CHUCKLES) It's not hard
to remember "with milk."
101
00:05:23.757 --> 00:05:24.849
SIMON: Thank you.
102
00:05:32.265 --> 00:05:33.323
ABBY: Hey!
103
00:05:36.136 --> 00:05:37.433
Hey.
Hey.
104
00:05:37.604 --> 00:05:40.164
(GASPS) Oh, thank you.
I am figuratively dying.
105
00:05:40.273 --> 00:05:42.037
So, Abby, last night I dreamt
106
00:05:42.209 --> 00:05:43.677
I put the wrong contacts
in my eyes.
107
00:05:43.810 --> 00:05:45.869
- Another dream. You're like...
- SIMON: Hmm.
108
00:05:45.979 --> 00:05:47.037
You're like the love child of
109
00:05:47.280 --> 00:05:49.612
Sigmund Freud
and Cristiano Ronaldo.
110
00:05:49.850 --> 00:05:51.284
Oh, my God.
Thanks.
111
00:05:51.484 --> 00:05:53.043
Now, look. I can't see anything
112
00:05:53.153 --> 00:05:54.643
and I'm stumbling around
in this cave,
113
00:05:54.721 --> 00:05:57.019
crashing into stuff,
and then, I wake up.
114
00:05:57.490 --> 00:05:59.049
- That's it?
- NICK: Yeah.
115
00:05:59.826 --> 00:06:01.658
Maybe it's something that
you're not seeing clearly.
116
00:06:01.728 --> 00:06:03.457
Like something that's, like,
right in front of your face.
117
00:06:04.030 --> 00:06:05.361
What am I not seeing?
118
00:06:06.333 --> 00:06:07.823
(EXHALES) No idea.
119
00:06:09.069 --> 00:06:11.299
("LOVE ME" PLAYING)
120
00:06:13.540 --> 00:06:14.837
Ooh! Ooh!
121
00:06:21.181 --> 00:06:22.740
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
122
00:06:45.939 --> 00:06:47.998
We should be hot Pokemon
for Halloween.
123
00:06:48.074 --> 00:06:50.168
Oh, yeah. But I get to be
slutty Charmander.
124
00:06:50.410 --> 00:06:51.605
Cool scarf, Ethan.
125
00:06:51.878 --> 00:06:53.437
Hope it doesn't get caught
in your vagina.
126
00:06:53.613 --> 00:06:55.604
Great choice on
the cargo pants, by the way.
127
00:06:55.715 --> 00:06:57.945
It looks like you got
gangbanged by a T.J. Maxx.
128
00:06:58.118 --> 00:06:59.279
Whatever, fag.
(LAUGHS)
129
00:07:01.388 --> 00:07:02.787
ETHAN (EXHALES):
Honestly, it's just
130
00:07:02.889 --> 00:07:04.414
not even a challenge anymore.
131
00:07:04.624 --> 00:07:05.716
LEAH: Dicks.
132
00:07:05.792 --> 00:07:07.624
Wish Ethan wouldn't make it
so easy for them.
133
00:07:07.928 --> 00:07:09.089
Yeah, well, at my old school,
134
00:07:09.195 --> 00:07:10.560
that would have been settled
with a knife fight.
135
00:07:10.630 --> 00:07:14.760
- (BELL RINGS)
- Good morning, Creekwood High!
136
00:07:14.868 --> 00:07:16.199
Come on, phones off!
137
00:07:16.303 --> 00:07:17.737
There's a whole
world to look at!
138
00:07:18.138 --> 00:07:19.697
You can look people in the eyes!
139
00:07:19.973 --> 00:07:22.135
(GROANS)
Gah! Yeah.
140
00:07:22.409 --> 00:07:23.740
Stop with the selfies.
You're not all that.
141
00:07:23.877 --> 00:07:25.367
- I'll see you guys at lunch.
- Yeah.
142
00:07:25.478 --> 00:07:27.947
Wow! Simonay.
143
00:07:28.114 --> 00:07:29.639
Look at those new kicks,
my brother.
144
00:07:29.749 --> 00:07:31.877
Where'd you get those? Where
could I get a pair of those?
145
00:07:31.952 --> 00:07:33.113
- I forget. Sorry.
- You forget?
146
00:07:33.219 --> 00:07:34.584
Come on, you gotta let me
know the brand!
147
00:07:34.654 --> 00:07:35.985
I want to be sneaker brothers.
148
00:07:36.156 --> 00:07:40.218
Oh, I see more phones!
Who took your phones now?
149
00:07:40.327 --> 00:07:44.787
Me! Me! Me took your phones now!
You can get 'em at my office!
150
00:07:45.332 --> 00:07:47.767
I can't believe we have to be
off book, in like, two weeks.
151
00:07:47.968 --> 00:07:49.959
Seriously, Sally Bowles
never shuts the eff up.
152
00:07:50.236 --> 00:07:51.635
SIMON: Don't you wish
you were talentless like me?
153
00:07:51.738 --> 00:07:52.830
Here. Let me show you
a thing or two.
154
00:07:52.939 --> 00:07:54.168
SIMON: Because then you could
just be living
155
00:07:54.407 --> 00:07:55.841
the easy life as company member
number eight.
156
00:07:55.976 --> 00:07:56.841
(ABBY LAUGHS)
157
00:07:57.143 --> 00:07:58.804
Well, well, well...
158
00:07:59.412 --> 00:08:01.506
If it isn't my fellow thespians.
159
00:08:02.449 --> 00:08:03.314
Hey, Martin.
160
00:08:03.683 --> 00:08:05.651
Hey. $pier. Hey, Abby.
161
00:08:06.152 --> 00:08:07.017
Hi.
162
00:08:07.420 --> 00:08:09.081
Excited to rehearse
with you later.
163
00:08:10.490 --> 00:08:11.582
Hey, uh, so, fun fact.
164
00:08:11.658 --> 00:08:13.752
You know that Cabaret was
actually based off a play
165
00:08:13.827 --> 00:08:14.817
called I Am Camera?
166
00:08:14.961 --> 00:08:17.362
Then I Am a Camera was based
off this novel
167
00:08:17.497 --> 00:08:18.987
called Goodbye to Berlin.
168
00:08:19.099 --> 00:08:21.090
And Goodbye to Berlin
was actually based off
169
00:08:21.334 --> 00:08:22.529
Christopher Isherwood's
170
00:08:22.969 --> 00:08:24.767
- early years in Berlin.
- (BELL RINGS)
171
00:08:25.005 --> 00:08:26.871
Wow. That's awesome.
I have homeroom.
172
00:08:26.973 --> 00:08:27.872
Yeah. All right.
173
00:08:28.008 --> 00:08:29.339
Well, I think she found
that interesting.
174
00:08:29.442 --> 00:08:30.466
Bye, Martin.
175
00:08:30.977 --> 00:08:32.467
Bye, big boy.
(CHUCKLES)
176
00:08:33.847 --> 00:08:35.815
Suraj! Now.
177
00:08:37.550 --> 00:08:38.813
Come on. You know the drill.
178
00:08:40.186 --> 00:08:42.553
EMILY: I've had an inspiration.
How about The Affair?
179
00:08:42.655 --> 00:08:45.454
No. No. We cannot watch
The Affair as a family.
180
00:08:45.558 --> 00:08:46.525
Why not?
181
00:08:46.659 --> 00:08:48.149
Because it's all about sex.
182
00:08:48.528 --> 00:08:50.622
Oh, well, God forbid we should
watch people make love.
183
00:08:50.697 --> 00:08:51.528
Oh, God.
184
00:08:51.798 --> 00:08:54.062
Oh, my God.
You guys are so repressed.
185
00:08:54.367 --> 00:08:57.337
Don't therapize us, okay?
We are not your patients.
186
00:08:57.404 --> 00:08:58.565
- We're your family.
- EMILY: That's true.
187
00:08:58.705 --> 00:09:00.867
If you were my patients, you'd
be much more well-adjusted.
188
00:09:01.074 --> 00:09:03.042
Oh. Nice therapy burn, baby.
Thank you.
189
00:09:03.476 --> 00:09:05.171
She got you.
You know what?
190
00:09:05.378 --> 00:09:07.142
We didn't see last week's
episode of The Bachelor.
191
00:09:07.414 --> 00:09:09.007
How did that guy
even become the bachelor?
192
00:09:09.082 --> 00:09:09.981
Why?
193
00:09:10.083 --> 00:09:11.482
Well, he's clearly gay.
194
00:09:11.751 --> 00:09:13.515
- NORA: No, he's not.
- Really?
195
00:09:13.653 --> 00:09:15.519
- He's handsome.
- That date, where he took the girl
196
00:09:15.655 --> 00:09:17.089
to the "make your
own perfume" place?
197
00:09:17.190 --> 00:09:18.988
Dad! The producers
plan those dates.
198
00:09:19.059 --> 00:09:20.083
He is so fruity.
He's so fruity.
199
00:09:20.393 --> 00:09:22.384
He's a one-man pride parade.
Are you kidding me?
200
00:09:22.662 --> 00:09:24.061
- He has more chemistry
- Just stop it.
201
00:09:24.164 --> 00:09:26.428
With Chris Harrison
than any of those girls.
202
00:09:28.101 --> 00:09:29.694
(WHISPERS) After this, I gotta
show you something.
203
00:09:30.236 --> 00:09:31.704
Okay?
Let's watch The Americans.
204
00:09:31.771 --> 00:09:33.603
EMILY: Every single episode,
you here next to me.
205
00:09:33.873 --> 00:09:35.363
So your mother decided
that we should make
206
00:09:35.442 --> 00:09:36.910
each other anniversary
presents this year.
207
00:09:37.010 --> 00:09:39.206
You know, so they came
from the heart, or some crap.
208
00:09:39.379 --> 00:09:41.677
Anyway, I decided to come up
with this bad boy.
209
00:09:41.781 --> 00:09:42.680
Look at this.
210
00:09:42.782 --> 00:09:45.547
I present to you,
a Jack Spier production.
211
00:09:45.885 --> 00:09:47.046
- (MOUSE CLICKS)
- ("HEAVEN" PLAYING)
212
00:09:50.390 --> 00:09:51.255
Wait, wait.
213
00:09:52.192 --> 00:09:53.057
Look at that!
214
00:09:53.593 --> 00:09:55.118
Oh, it's so good.
215
00:10:00.767 --> 00:10:02.098
Look at this.
Wait, wait, wait.
216
00:10:05.271 --> 00:10:06.295
SIMON: Yup. Okay.
217
00:10:06.573 --> 00:10:07.438
(STOPS VIDEO)
218
00:10:07.774 --> 00:10:08.798
What are you...
219
00:10:09.075 --> 00:10:11.567
Look, this is your
20th anniversary,
220
00:10:11.711 --> 00:10:13.372
so I'm gonna be super real
with you right now.
221
00:10:13.880 --> 00:10:15.644
This looks
like a fourth grader made it.
222
00:10:15.815 --> 00:10:18.216
And not even the smartest
fourth grader in the class.
223
00:10:18.451 --> 00:10:20.078
Just, like,
a deeply average fourth grader.
224
00:10:20.153 --> 00:10:21.814
What are you talking about?
This is amazing.
225
00:10:22.088 --> 00:10:23.988
I got fade-ins.
I got dissolves.
226
00:10:24.257 --> 00:10:25.656
- This is beautiful.
- Get up for a second.
227
00:10:25.758 --> 00:10:27.123
I'll help you. Trust me.
228
00:10:27.427 --> 00:10:29.054
We can make this good.
We just gotta put in...
229
00:10:29.929 --> 00:10:31.419
you know, some home video.
230
00:10:32.132 --> 00:10:34.794
Maybe put in some better music.
231
00:10:35.101 --> 00:10:37.331
"Better music"? This was huge
when we were young.
232
00:10:37.637 --> 00:10:39.662
Yeah. So was
Bill Cosby.
233
00:10:39.806 --> 00:10:41.831
("WATERLOO SUNSET" PLAYING)
234
00:10:45.578 --> 00:10:49.776
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
235
00:10:52.752 --> 00:10:54.686
- Hey.
- Have you seen the new post?
236
00:10:54.954 --> 00:10:56.319
No. What? Oh, my God.
237
00:10:56.456 --> 00:10:57.855
You know, I'm never getting
back in that pool again.
238
00:10:58.124 --> 00:11:00.149
Wait, no. About the closeted
gay kid at school.
239
00:11:03.263 --> 00:11:04.128
What?
240
00:11:04.797 --> 00:11:06.162
LEAH:
Yeah, it's on CreekSecrets.
241
00:11:16.042 --> 00:11:17.601
- LEAH: Who do you think it is?
- (EXHALES)
242
00:11:17.710 --> 00:11:19.474
I bet it's that sophomore
with the rimless glasses.
243
00:11:19.546 --> 00:11:20.445
I get a vibe.
244
00:11:21.047 --> 00:11:22.105
- Actually.
- Hmm.
245
00:11:22.215 --> 00:11:23.944
Maybe it's Parker O'Malley
246
00:11:24.317 --> 00:11:25.978
I've heard he's, like,
obsessed with Les Mis.
247
00:11:26.052 --> 00:11:27.679
Oh, gosh. Jeez. I gotta go.
248
00:11:27.787 --> 00:11:29.448
Bieber just took a dump
on the floor.
249
00:11:29.622 --> 00:11:30.680
LEAH: Aw, Beebs.
250
00:11:30.790 --> 00:11:32.019
- Feed him some rice...
- Can I call you back?
251
00:11:35.795 --> 00:11:38.389
SIMON: "Sometimes I feel like
I'm stuck on a Ferris wheel.
252
00:11:38.831 --> 00:11:40.299
One minute I'm on top
of the world,
253
00:11:40.400 --> 00:11:41.663
and the next,
I'm at rock bottom.
254
00:11:41.868 --> 00:11:44.166
Over and over, all daylong.
255
00:11:44.370 --> 00:11:46.202
Because a lot
of my life is great,
256
00:11:46.339 --> 00:11:47.738
but nobody knows I'm gay.
257
00:11:48.474 --> 00:11:49.339
Blue."
258
00:11:50.343 --> 00:11:51.310
(EXHALES)
259
00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:34.418
(CLEARS THROAT)
260
00:12:40.193 --> 00:12:41.217
Blue. Okay.
261
00:12:42.795 --> 00:12:43.694
(EXHALES)
262
00:12:51.938 --> 00:12:53.906
SIMON: Dear Blue,
I'm just like you.
263
00:12:54.307 --> 00:12:55.900
For the most part,
my life is totally normal.
264
00:12:55.975 --> 00:12:57.465
My dad was the annoyingly
handsome quarterback
265
00:12:57.577 --> 00:12:58.874
who married the
hot valedictorian.
266
00:12:58.945 --> 00:13:00.276
And no, they didn't
peak in high school.
267
00:13:00.413 --> 00:13:02.381
I have a sister I actually like.
Not that I'd ever tell her that.
268
00:13:02.615 --> 00:13:04.242
And then, there's my friends.
269
00:13:04.317 --> 00:13:06.547
We do everything friends do.
We drink way too much...
270
00:13:06.619 --> 00:13:08.485
So, like I said,
I'm just like you.
271
00:13:08.821 --> 00:13:11.085
I have a totally,
perfectly normal fife.
272
00:13:11.758 --> 00:13:13.487
Except I have one
huge-ass secret.
273
00:13:38.451 --> 00:13:39.509
Jacques.
274
00:13:51.597 --> 00:13:53.292
(PANTING)
275
00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:55.468
Hey. Morning.
276
00:13:58.104 --> 00:13:58.969
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
277
00:14:09.215 --> 00:14:10.114
(SIGHS)
278
00:14:11.217 --> 00:14:12.116
Nothin'.
279
00:14:16.289 --> 00:14:17.984
TEACHER: Math is what
we're talking about.
280
00:14:18.057 --> 00:14:20.890
Can anyone answer for me
how we find the value
281
00:14:21.027 --> 00:14:22.688
of "d-y by d-x"
282
00:14:22.995 --> 00:14:24.986
that I have
written up on the board?
283
00:14:25.865 --> 00:14:27.731
Does anyone want to...
Yes! Simon.
284
00:14:28.801 --> 00:14:29.859
Can I go to the bathroom?
285
00:14:30.636 --> 00:14:31.967
Sure, it's fine.
286
00:14:32.038 --> 00:14:33.028
Thanks.
287
00:14:54.827 --> 00:14:55.760
(SIGHS)
288
00:14:57.530 --> 00:14:59.521
Simon. Simon.
289
00:15:00.333 --> 00:15:02.165
- Yeah.
- Can I get some fries?
290
00:15:02.668 --> 00:15:04.500
- Oh, yeah.
- BRAM: Yeah? Thanks.
291
00:15:05.171 --> 00:15:06.570
GARRETT: I'm telling you,
the Oakwood Tigers
292
00:15:06.672 --> 00:15:08.436
score so many goals
because they shave their legs.
293
00:15:08.608 --> 00:15:10.372
Garrett, I'm not gonna
shave my legs.
294
00:15:10.610 --> 00:15:12.544
It makes their kicks
more aerodynamic.
295
00:15:13.045 --> 00:15:15.673
- We can just do extra burpees, man.
- Whatever, Bram.
296
00:15:15.782 --> 00:15:19.446
Guys, I just found
a press-on nail in my salad.
297
00:15:20.753 --> 00:15:21.879
BOTH: Debbie.
298
00:15:22.688 --> 00:15:23.712
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
299
00:15:26.926 --> 00:15:28.587
Why is there no cell reception
at this school?
300
00:15:29.195 --> 00:15:30.253
I swear to God.
301
00:15:36.803 --> 00:15:39.101
Simonay, Simonay.
Hey.
302
00:15:39.272 --> 00:15:41.240
What are you doing?
You can't text in the halls.
303
00:15:41.307 --> 00:15:42.468
How many times
have I told you that?
304
00:15:42.608 --> 00:15:44.406
I can't have all my students
Tindering it up.
305
00:15:44.477 --> 00:15:45.376
That's my department.
306
00:15:45.445 --> 00:15:46.571
Right.
(LAUGHING)
307
00:15:46.646 --> 00:15:47.579
It actually is.
308
00:15:47.713 --> 00:15:49.545
I got a really hot date
on Tinder tonight.
309
00:15:49.749 --> 00:15:51.217
She is cute!
310
00:15:51.818 --> 00:15:55.777
"Ew! Vice principals can't go
on dates. That's gross."
311
00:15:55.955 --> 00:15:57.286
We're people too, Simon.
312
00:15:57.623 --> 00:15:59.318
We like to go out.
We like to have a good time.
313
00:15:59.425 --> 00:16:01.416
We like to have sex.
That's not a big deal, right?
314
00:16:01.494 --> 00:16:02.791
Yeah, no. No biggie at all.
315
00:16:02.895 --> 00:16:04.454
Actually, you know,
I totally see you as a person.
316
00:16:04.564 --> 00:16:05.759
- Thank you. I appreciate that.
- Yeah.
317
00:16:05.832 --> 00:16:07.129
- Thank you very much.
- You're welcome.
318
00:16:07.233 --> 00:16:08.291
- Seriously.
- Yeah. Yeah.
319
00:16:08.401 --> 00:16:09.493
Could I just get
my phone though?
320
00:16:09.602 --> 00:16:11.001
No. Unfortunately,
I'm gonna have to keep it
321
00:16:11.103 --> 00:16:12.070
until after play practice.
322
00:16:12.171 --> 00:16:13.605
But you will get your precious
323
00:16:13.739 --> 00:16:15.298
- after play practice, okay?
- I promise.
324
00:16:15.741 --> 00:16:17.072
So how's play practice going?
325
00:16:17.143 --> 00:16:18.907
- SIMON: Great. Yeah, it's...
- MR. WORTH: How's Ms. Albright?
326
00:16:19.078 --> 00:16:20.512
SIMON: She's good.
327
00:16:20.613 --> 00:16:22.479
MR. WORTH: She's good?
She doesn't like men.
328
00:16:22.849 --> 00:16:26.581
♪ Willkommen, bienvenue ♪
329
00:16:26.786 --> 00:16:31.986
♪ Welcome im cabaret ♪
330
00:16:32.091 --> 00:16:32.956
(LAUGHS)
331
00:16:33.159 --> 00:16:39.098
♪ Au cabaret, to cabaret ♪
332
00:16:47.373 --> 00:16:48.966
(CLAPS)
333
00:16:49.475 --> 00:16:50.340
Okay.
334
00:16:50.610 --> 00:16:54.843
- Those aren't actual claps.
- My hands are tired! (CHUCKLES)
335
00:16:55.314 --> 00:16:57.180
Okay! All right.
336
00:16:57.617 --> 00:16:58.778
That was...
337
00:16:59.852 --> 00:17:01.513
Cal, help me. That was...
338
00:17:01.654 --> 00:17:02.678
That was a start?
339
00:17:02.788 --> 00:17:05.052
That was a start!
Is what it was.
340
00:17:05.324 --> 00:17:06.314
That was a start.
341
00:17:06.392 --> 00:17:08.952
You know, when Mr. Worth
told me that no student,
342
00:17:09.228 --> 00:17:10.889
regardless of talent...
(CHUCKLES)
343
00:17:11.664 --> 00:17:14.190
...was to be left out of
my production, I had my doubts.
344
00:17:14.567 --> 00:17:16.126
Yes, I did.
(CHUCKLES)
345
00:17:16.969 --> 00:17:17.993
Yeah.
346
00:17:19.005 --> 00:17:21.201
That's it.
That's my whole speech.
347
00:17:21.407 --> 00:17:22.465
TAYLOR: Ms. Albright.
348
00:17:22.708 --> 00:17:23.641
Hi.
349
00:17:23.709 --> 00:17:26.542
That was the biggest train
wreck our stage has ever seen.
350
00:17:26.646 --> 00:17:28.171
And Rob and Brianne
were practically
351
00:17:28.247 --> 00:17:29.237
dry humping the whole song.
352
00:17:29.682 --> 00:17:30.740
MS. ALBRIGHT: Oh, I saw.
353
00:17:31.250 --> 00:17:34.220
Save the kissing
for the cast party. All right?
354
00:17:34.554 --> 00:17:38.013
This is war. You're Nazis.
Okay? More anger.
355
00:17:38.591 --> 00:17:41.720
Suraj, stop pretending
that trumpet is your penis!
356
00:17:42.028 --> 00:17:43.154
- My boy.
- (ALL LAUGHING)
357
00:17:44.063 --> 00:17:45.053
It is a rental.
358
00:17:47.199 --> 00:17:50.430
I was an extra in The Lion King,
and this is where I am.
359
00:17:53.005 --> 00:17:54.495
Hey. What time is it?
360
00:17:54.941 --> 00:17:57.171
Ten minutes since the last time
you asked. Go.
361
00:17:57.743 --> 00:17:59.939
One! Two! Three! Four!
362
00:18:01.047 --> 00:18:02.515
ABBY: ♪ Welcome... ♪
363
00:18:02.582 --> 00:18:03.777
MS. ALBRIGHT: I will kill you.
364
00:18:04.750 --> 00:18:06.878
Oy, yoy. Yoy, your. Yo!
365
00:18:07.219 --> 00:18:08.948
- Mr. Worth.
- Hey, what's up, my brother?
366
00:18:09.055 --> 00:18:10.454
Hey, just here for my phone.
367
00:18:10.690 --> 00:18:12.715
Oh, of course you are.
Of course you are.
368
00:18:12.892 --> 00:18:14.223
How'd you enjoy being unplugged?
369
00:18:14.427 --> 00:18:15.360
It was great.
370
00:18:15.595 --> 00:18:16.585
- Great, right?
- Yeah.
371
00:18:16.696 --> 00:18:18.289
This isn't life, man.
This is plugged.
372
00:18:18.531 --> 00:18:19.965
- This is unplugged.
- Mm-hmm.
373
00:18:20.099 --> 00:18:22.625
- Plugged. Unplugged.
- Yep.
374
00:18:22.935 --> 00:18:24.926
All right, Simon, I know that
I'm hard on you. I really do.
375
00:18:25.137 --> 00:18:26.229
SIMON: Mm-hmm.
376
00:18:26.305 --> 00:18:28.899
But it's only 'cause I really
see myself in you.
377
00:18:29.308 --> 00:18:31.800
Uh... You know, I don't know
if I'd say that.
378
00:18:32.144 --> 00:18:33.942
No, I see it, it's obvious.
It's obvious.
379
00:18:34.313 --> 00:18:35.212
I know there's a lot
380
00:18:35.581 --> 00:18:36.878
going on there, man.
Yup.
381
00:18:36.983 --> 00:18:38.246
And I bet you
got a lot of questions.
382
00:18:38.317 --> 00:18:39.910
Is there something
you wanna say to me?
383
00:18:40.653 --> 00:18:41.882
No.
You know my policy.
384
00:18:42.054 --> 00:18:43.112
What does it say?
385
00:18:43.889 --> 00:18:45.618
- "Open door. Open ears."
- "Open door. Open ears."
386
00:18:46.492 --> 00:18:47.926
There's nothing you want to say?
387
00:18:48.394 --> 00:18:49.623
- Nope.
- You sure?
388
00:18:49.996 --> 00:18:50.895
Yeah.
Okay.
389
00:18:50.963 --> 00:18:52.294
- It's a great sign though.
- Thank you.
390
00:18:52.398 --> 00:18:53.593
Thank you.
Now don't text and drive.
391
00:18:53.666 --> 00:18:54.929
That's how my cat got murdered.
392
00:18:55.067 --> 00:18:56.466
Okay.
(LAUGHS)
393
00:18:56.736 --> 00:18:59.068
I'm just kidding.
I don't have cats. I got asthma.
394
00:19:14.286 --> 00:19:15.151
(SIGHS)
395
00:19:17.356 --> 00:19:18.517
BLUE: A secret, huh?
396
00:19:18.791 --> 00:19:20.281
Is it the same as my secret?
397
00:19:20.826 --> 00:19:22.658
If it is, when did you know?
398
00:19:22.962 --> 00:19:25.363
- Have you told anyone? Blue.
- (HORN HONKING)
399
00:19:27.867 --> 00:19:28.766
Okay.
400
00:19:41.881 --> 00:19:44.350
SIMON: No, Blue.
I haven't told anyone.
401
00:19:45.051 --> 00:19:47.213
And, honestly, I can't even
really exp/aim why.
402
00:19:48.854 --> 00:19:50.982
Deep down, I know my family
would be fine with it.
403
00:19:51.123 --> 00:19:53.182
Hey, what rhymes
with “patriarchy”?
404
00:19:54.060 --> 00:19:55.357
That says "patriachy“ though.
405
00:19:56.062 --> 00:19:57.052
Oh, shit.
406
00:19:58.397 --> 00:20:00.195
SIMON: My mom's about
as liberal as they come.
407
00:20:00.700 --> 00:20:02.896
And my dad isn't exactly
the macho type.
408
00:20:03.836 --> 00:20:05.964
I mean, Creekwood's
resident out-gay kid
409
00:20:06.038 --> 00:20:07.130
seems to be doing just fine.
410
00:20:07.239 --> 00:20:09.173
When Ethan came out,
no one even cared.
411
00:20:09.341 --> 00:20:11.867
Guys, I have something
to tell you.
412
00:20:12.812 --> 00:20:13.677
I'm gay.
413
00:20:14.346 --> 00:20:17.839
Wow, really?
That's really great, Ethan.
414
00:20:18.184 --> 00:20:19.652
Oh, my God. No way.
415
00:20:20.086 --> 00:20:22.714
Oh, my God, you are?
I had no idea.
416
00:20:22.822 --> 00:20:24.517
What a complete surprise!
417
00:20:24.724 --> 00:20:25.919
Too much, Claire.
418
00:20:26.525 --> 00:20:28.220
SIMON: As for how I knew
I was gay,
419
00:20:28.494 --> 00:20:30.019
it was a bunch of little things.
420
00:20:30.930 --> 00:20:32.364
Like this one recurring dream
421
00:20:32.431 --> 00:20:34.263
I kept having
about Daniel Radcliffe.
422
00:20:40.172 --> 00:20:42.334
And then proceeded to have
every night for a month.
423
00:20:49.281 --> 00:20:50.578
I was obsessed
with Panic! At the Disco.
424
00:20:50.716 --> 00:20:53.117
I can't. He's so cute.
He's so cute.
425
00:20:53.219 --> 00:20:54.687
He's...
(CLEARS THROAT)
426
00:20:54.754 --> 00:20:56.222
Come on,
he's like Jesus and chocolate.
427
00:20:56.956 --> 00:20:58.082
Just look at him.
428
00:20:58.290 --> 00:20:59.280
SIMON: Then I realized
429
00:20:59.391 --> 00:21:00.859
it really wasn't
about the music.
430
00:21:01.627 --> 00:21:03.026
And then there was
my firs! Girlfriend.
431
00:21:03.229 --> 00:21:04.754
I think I'm falling
in love with you.
432
00:21:05.531 --> 00:21:07.260
Wow. Thank you. Be right back.
433
00:21:11.137 --> 00:21:12.298
Wasn't my proudest moment.
434
00:21:20.613 --> 00:21:22.479
How bout you?
How did you know?
435
00:21:22.815 --> 00:21:24.613
Warmly, Jacques.
436
00:21:29.622 --> 00:21:30.646
Fondly, Jacques.
437
00:21:36.428 --> 00:21:37.293
Jacques.
438
00:21:44.270 --> 00:21:45.135
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
439
00:21:50.242 --> 00:21:51.607
BLUE: Jacques, don't worry.
440
00:21:51.811 --> 00:21:53.677
If your proudest moment
happened in middle school,
441
00:21:53.779 --> 00:21:55.110
that would be pretty sad.
442
00:21:55.181 --> 00:21:56.979
For me, I realized I liked guys
443
00:21:57.183 --> 00:21:58.082
watching Game of Thrones.
444
00:21:58.184 --> 00:21:59.345
My friends were all
holding their breath
445
00:22:00.186 --> 00:22:02.245
waiting lo see
the Dragon Princess's boobs.
446
00:22:03.189 --> 00:22:04.987
I was crushing hard on Jon Snow.
447
00:22:05.691 --> 00:22:07.352
SIMON: Well,
I've never told anyone
448
00:22:07.459 --> 00:22:09.985
about my Daniel Radcliffe phase
so now we're even.
449
00:22:10.162 --> 00:22:11.323
And for the record,
450
00:22:11.463 --> 00:22:12.953
I think Jon Snow
is an excellent choice
451
00:22:13.165 --> 00:22:14.155
for your sexual awakening.
452
00:22:14.266 --> 00:22:16.030
So I guess, if I want
to find you at school
453
00:22:16.135 --> 00:22:18.035
I just have to look for
the Game of Thrones fanatic.
454
00:22:30.115 --> 00:22:30.980
Wow.
455
00:22:31.050 --> 00:22:33.178
I was just listening to that
M83 song "Reunion,"
456
00:22:33.285 --> 00:22:34.548
and it made me think of you.
457
00:22:34.954 --> 00:22:36.820
BLUE: You'll probably think
my music taste is lame.
458
00:22:37.523 --> 00:22:38.991
Kind of have the same taste
as my Aunt Sally
459
00:22:39.058 --> 00:22:40.617
who loves show tunes.
460
00:22:40.860 --> 00:22:42.692
Obviously, some of the things
I've told you about myself
461
00:22:42.962 --> 00:22:45.294
are things I've never
talked about with anyone.
462
00:22:46.332 --> 00:22:47.993
There's something about you
that makes me want to open up.
463
00:22:48.334 --> 00:22:50.029
And that's
slightly terrifying for me.
464
00:22:50.135 --> 00:22:51.125
SIMON: So I've been thinking,
465
00:22:51.237 --> 00:22:52.830
maybe I should be
Jon Snow for Halloween.
466
00:22:53.138 --> 00:22:55.038
What about you?
Who are you gonna be?
467
00:22:56.308 --> 00:22:57.503
BLUE: I'm not dressing up.
468
00:22:57.743 --> 00:22:59.643
For me, Halloween's
all about the Oreos
469
00:22:59.912 --> 00:23:01.380
with the orange frosting
in the middle.
470
00:23:03.315 --> 00:23:05.010
- Hey, hey, he!!!
- Hey.
471
00:23:05.084 --> 00:23:07.382
Wow. Look at that smile.
You're glowing, man.
472
00:23:07.486 --> 00:23:08.419
No.
You are glowing.
473
00:23:08.520 --> 00:23:09.385
You look happy.
474
00:23:09.588 --> 00:23:10.578
Oh, just regular.
475
00:23:10.689 --> 00:23:11.713
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
476
00:23:11.991 --> 00:23:14.016
Me too. I'm a little meh.
477
00:23:15.160 --> 00:23:16.252
Why "meh"?
478
00:23:16.562 --> 00:23:19.862
Oh, I had my big Tinder date
last night. Oh, God.
479
00:23:20.032 --> 00:23:21.932
She was not into it.
(CHUCKLES)
480
00:23:22.568 --> 00:23:23.535
Al. All.
481
00:23:24.236 --> 00:23:25.226
(BELL RINGING)
482
00:23:25.437 --> 00:23:26.996
- Oh, come on. Too soon.
- No.
483
00:23:27.172 --> 00:23:28.401
The bell is a buzzkill.
484
00:23:28.540 --> 00:23:29.735
- See you, Mr. Worth.
- All right.
485
00:23:31.543 --> 00:23:32.408
(SIMON SIGHS)
486
00:23:32.511 --> 00:23:33.910
Well, thank you
for your help, Fräulein.
487
00:23:34.013 --> 00:23:34.878
You're welcome.
488
00:23:35.114 --> 00:23:38.573
German accent for Cabaret.
Yup. Take care, Ms. Bradley.
489
00:23:40.052 --> 00:23:40.917
Ladies.
490
00:23:42.388 --> 00:23:45.050
Let's see what you got,
interwebs.
491
00:23:51.597 --> 00:23:54.567
LEAH: Here are your burnt tots,
because you have horrible taste.
492
00:23:55.734 --> 00:23:56.724
SIMON: Here's your green banana,
493
00:23:56.869 --> 00:23:58.098
because you like
disgusting things.
494
00:23:58.203 --> 00:23:59.693
- LEAH: Mm-hm.
- Wow, you guys are weird.
495
00:23:59.939 --> 00:24:02.431
Yup. They're practically
Cantonese twins.
496
00:24:02.875 --> 00:24:04.536
Siamese.
Yeah. Siamese.
497
00:24:05.244 --> 00:24:06.109
Yeah, agree to disagree.
498
00:24:06.278 --> 00:24:07.268
I don't think
that's one of those
499
00:24:07.379 --> 00:24:08.369
things where you can
agree to disagree.
500
00:24:08.447 --> 00:24:09.312
Agree.
It's just right.
501
00:24:09.648 --> 00:24:10.774
NICK: To each his own.
502
00:24:12.217 --> 00:24:13.207
BRAM: Oreos.
503
00:24:14.453 --> 00:24:15.443
Man, I love those.
504
00:24:15.921 --> 00:24:17.082
Halloween ones
are the best, right?
505
00:24:17.222 --> 00:24:18.155
Yeah.
506
00:24:19.658 --> 00:24:20.955
Er, so, guys, I have great news.
507
00:24:21.160 --> 00:24:22.389
My aunt's boyfriend
508
00:24:22.461 --> 00:24:24.452
just took off with her car
and all her jewelry.
509
00:24:24.563 --> 00:24:26.053
Bram, that's terrible news!
510
00:24:26.165 --> 00:24:27.155
I know, but it's like,
511
00:24:27.266 --> 00:24:28.427
the third time
it's happened to her.
512
00:24:28.567 --> 00:24:29.898
She has really bad taste in men.
513
00:24:30.669 --> 00:24:34.071
Anyways, my mom is going down
to Orlando to deal with it
514
00:24:34.139 --> 00:24:36.972
which means I get to throw
a Halloween party.
515
00:24:37.343 --> 00:24:38.936
Awesome!
Yay!
516
00:24:39.011 --> 00:24:39.910
Nice!
517
00:24:40.112 --> 00:24:41.807
Thank you, Bram's dumb-ass aunt!
518
00:24:41.981 --> 00:24:43.278
All right, this is
gonna be epic, you guys.
519
00:24:43.615 --> 00:24:45.105
I can bring my karaoke machine.
520
00:24:45.284 --> 00:24:47.514
All right, hey, guys,
Halloween party Friday night!
521
00:24:47.786 --> 00:24:49.151
Friday night, Halloween party,
okay? Bram's house!
522
00:24:49.254 --> 00:24:51.245
- You really set this in motion, man.
- I know, right?
523
00:24:51.357 --> 00:24:52.256
Hey, little guy.
524
00:24:52.358 --> 00:24:53.587
Me?
Halloween party.
525
00:24:53.692 --> 00:24:55.683
Friday night.
Bram's house. Be there.
526
00:24:55.928 --> 00:24:57.259
- You're gonna freak him out, man.
- GARRETT: Yeah.
527
00:24:57.529 --> 00:24:59.088
LEAH: I know.
He's, like, nine years old.
528
00:25:07.473 --> 00:25:09.771
BLUE: Very relieved that
we're in agreement on Oreos.
529
00:25:09.842 --> 00:25:11.970
That would have been
a deal-breaker for me.
530
00:25:12.511 --> 00:25:16.311
On a totally different,
non-cookie related note...
531
00:25:16.982 --> 00:25:19.508
is it weird that I have no idea
what you look like,
532
00:25:19.618 --> 00:25:22.553
but I can't stop thinking
about kissing you.
533
00:25:24.223 --> 00:25:26.453
TEACHER: Simon. Simon.
534
00:25:27.626 --> 00:25:28.957
Eyes on your own test.
535
00:25:38.704 --> 00:25:40.638
Don't stop on my account,
Rob and Brianne.
536
00:25:40.706 --> 00:25:42.367
That's the most action
I've seen in weeks.
537
00:25:42.474 --> 00:25:45.842
What do we got here? Ah!
When we're done, it's gonna look
538
00:25:45.911 --> 00:25:48.642
like a real German sex club.
Don't ask me how I know.
539
00:25:48.714 --> 00:25:49.977
(LAUGHS)
540
00:25:50.215 --> 00:25:51.683
Hey! Hey!
541
00:25:51.750 --> 00:25:54.082
The spray paint is for painting,
not for huffing.
542
00:25:54.686 --> 00:25:56.051
You don't want
to get good at that.
543
00:25:56.321 --> 00:25:58.153
Okay, do you guys think
I should dye my hair Grey
544
00:25:58.223 --> 00:26:00.191
- to play Fraulein Schneider?
- Sure.
545
00:26:00.259 --> 00:26:01.749
TAYLOR: Really? But my hair
is kind of like my thing.
546
00:26:01.860 --> 00:26:03.350
I'm gonna go get a soda.
547
00:26:03.429 --> 00:26:04.396
Do you want anything?
548
00:26:04.730 --> 00:26:07.028
- No.
- MS. ALBRIGHT: You disgust me.
549
00:26:15.507 --> 00:26:17.771
Simon! Hey, hey, hey.
550
00:26:17.943 --> 00:26:19.274
- Hey, Martin.
- Buddy.
551
00:26:19.778 --> 00:26:22.770
Hey, urn, I used the computer
in the library right after you.
552
00:26:23.916 --> 00:26:24.940
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
553
00:26:25.350 --> 00:26:28.718
Well, I went to Gmail,
and it pulled up your account.
554
00:26:28.854 --> 00:26:30.913
And I, uh, read
some of your emails.
555
00:26:31.056 --> 00:26:32.217
I know I probably shouldn't've,
556
00:26:32.291 --> 00:26:34.020
but they were, like,
right there. (CHUCKLES)
557
00:26:34.259 --> 00:26:36.227
So you'll be interested
to know my brother's gay.
558
00:26:40.099 --> 00:26:43.091
No. Martin, that wouldn't
interest me to know.
559
00:26:43.435 --> 00:26:45.096
Okay. Don'! Worry.
I won't show anyone.
560
00:26:46.572 --> 00:26:47.596
Show anyone what?
561
00:26:50.375 --> 00:26:51.740
Did you print my emails
or something?
562
00:26:51.944 --> 00:26:53.776
Oh, no, no. (CHUCKLES)
563
00:26:54.379 --> 00:26:55.869
I screenshot them.
564
00:26:55.981 --> 00:26:58.279
- You screenshotted my emails?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
565
00:26:58.417 --> 00:26:59.646
Let me talk to you for a second.
566
00:27:01.053 --> 00:27:02.817
- Oh, Ms. Bradley.
- MS, BRADLEY: Hello, Martin.
567
00:27:02.921 --> 00:27:05.219
- Did you feather your hair?
- No, Martin. Shh.
568
00:27:05.324 --> 00:27:06.553
MARTIN: Looking good, huh?
569
00:27:07.459 --> 00:27:08.426
This is a good section.
570
00:27:09.895 --> 00:27:10.760
MARTIN: Jeez.
571
00:27:11.330 --> 00:27:13.321
Now, why the hell
did you screenshot my emails?
572
00:27:13.899 --> 00:27:16.732
Ah, well, you and Abby Susso
are good friends. Right?
573
00:27:16.835 --> 00:27:17.768
Yeah. We know each other.
574
00:27:17.836 --> 00:27:18.928
What does that have
to do with anything?
575
00:27:19.004 --> 00:27:21.905
Well, I need you to help me
talk with her...
576
00:27:22.508 --> 00:27:24.272
and hang outwith her
and stuff, you know?
577
00:27:24.409 --> 00:27:25.774
Why would I help you do that?
578
00:27:27.813 --> 00:27:28.974
Are you blackmailing me?
579
00:27:29.248 --> 00:27:32.013
Oh, shh! Okay. Don't be
so dramatic here, Simon.
580
00:27:32.117 --> 00:27:32.982
SIMON: Sup, Tyler?
581
00:27:33.185 --> 00:27:35.119
MARTIN: What's up, Tyler?
Is that a Patagonia?
582
00:27:35.821 --> 00:27:38.256
Nice. I just like her.
583
00:27:38.757 --> 00:27:41.454
And I think
that you could help me.
584
00:27:42.094 --> 00:27:44.756
Yeah, what if I say no, Martin?
I mean, what are you gonna do?
585
00:27:44.863 --> 00:27:46.092
You gonna tell the whole school
that I'm...
586
00:27:47.032 --> 00:27:48.193
You're gonna leak my emails?
587
00:27:48.300 --> 00:27:49.927
You're gonna post 'em
on CreekSecrets?
588
00:27:50.002 --> 00:27:51.868
I just think
that we're in a position here,
589
00:27:52.604 --> 00:27:54.094
where we could help
each other out is all.
590
00:27:55.107 --> 00:27:56.199
So think about it.
591
00:27:57.109 --> 00:27:58.133
Good talk.
592
00:28:05.984 --> 00:28:07.952
You know, I never thought
of a pepper
593
00:28:08.020 --> 00:28:09.488
as being a vegetable...
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
594
00:28:09.621 --> 00:28:10.645
...but it makes perfect sense.
595
00:28:10.789 --> 00:28:13.781
EMILY: I like the cilantro.
A little Mexican flair, huh?
596
00:28:13.992 --> 00:28:15.187
JACK: Very creative, kiddo.
597
00:28:15.661 --> 00:28:17.652
You hate the peppers.
Don't you?
598
00:28:18.363 --> 00:28:20.195
No. The peppers are great.
599
00:28:21.700 --> 00:28:22.895
I'm just gonna get some air.
600
00:28:34.179 --> 00:28:36.671
BRAM: Jacques, I have to get
something off my chest
601
00:28:37.082 --> 00:28:39.551
The other day, you asked me
what I was wearing for Halloween
602
00:28:39.651 --> 00:28:41.847
and I said I wasn't dressing up.
603
00:28:42.588 --> 00:28:44.056
I lied. Truth is,
604
00:28:44.156 --> 00:28:45.817
I didn't want you to know
what I was wearing
605
00:28:45.891 --> 00:28:48.019
because I don't want you
to know who lam.
606
00:28:49.728 --> 00:28:51.423
Right now, these emails,
they feel like
607
00:28:51.897 --> 00:28:53.023
this totally safe place.
608
00:28:54.032 --> 00:28:55.932
I'm just not ready
for my whole world to change.
609
00:28:56.268 --> 00:28:57.497
I hope you understand.
610
00:28:57.736 --> 00:28:59.534
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
611
00:29:04.610 --> 00:29:07.671
SIMON: Yes, Blue. I understand.
612
00:29:23.262 --> 00:29:24.889
(SNIFFING)
613
00:29:25.964 --> 00:29:27.693
Okay, if you want me
to help you with Abby,
614
00:29:27.766 --> 00:29:28.858
you cannot eat that.
615
00:29:29.368 --> 00:29:30.358
So you're gonna help me?
616
00:29:30.702 --> 00:29:31.760
Yeah.
617
00:29:32.638 --> 00:29:34.072
(CHUCKLES)
618
00:29:34.806 --> 00:29:37.935
Simon, that is fantastic news.
619
00:29:38.076 --> 00:29:39.976
I really think that Abby and I
are meant to be together.
620
00:29:40.078 --> 00:29:41.273
Really? Do you?
Mm-hmm.
621
00:29:41.380 --> 00:29:42.779
It's not all about looks, Simon.
622
00:29:42.881 --> 00:29:45.282
Okay. So you're banking
on your great,
623
00:29:45.384 --> 00:29:47.409
blackmaily personality
to get the job done?
624
00:29:47.486 --> 00:29:48.578
Where are we going?
625
00:29:48.654 --> 00:29:49.587
Your place.
626
00:29:49.721 --> 00:29:50.813
We're gonna see
if you have anything
627
00:29:50.956 --> 00:29:52.321
that doesn't scream
"punch me."
628
00:29:52.591 --> 00:29:54.252
Actually, I've got swim lessons.
629
00:29:54.626 --> 00:29:55.752
Cancel it!
630
00:29:56.595 --> 00:29:58.825
MARTIN: Okay, I just have to
call my mom first.
631
00:29:58.930 --> 00:30:00.989
She has to approve everybody
that comes in the house.
632
00:30:02.401 --> 00:30:04.062
All right. Here we go.
633
00:30:05.837 --> 00:30:08.169
All right. And here we are.
634
00:30:09.608 --> 00:30:10.905
This is where the magic happens.
635
00:30:11.009 --> 00:30:11.999
Wow.
636
00:30:12.277 --> 00:30:14.644
Ooh. Correction. (CHUCKLES)
637
00:30:15.247 --> 00:30:17.341
This is where the magic happens.
638
00:30:19.151 --> 00:30:20.812
I've been dabbling
in close-up illusions.
639
00:30:21.119 --> 00:30:22.109
Does Abby like magic?
640
00:30:22.621 --> 00:30:24.487
No. Martin, I don't think
she does like magic.
641
00:30:24.589 --> 00:30:26.114
But, um,
there's a really thin line
642
00:30:26.191 --> 00:30:28.990
between laughing with someone,
and laughing at someone.
643
00:30:29.328 --> 00:30:30.659
And you are that line.
644
00:30:30.762 --> 00:30:32.093
So, if you want
Abby to like you,
645
00:30:32.164 --> 00:30:33.529
what you have to do
is you have to
646
00:30:33.665 --> 00:30:35.030
make her see you as more of a...
647
00:30:35.167 --> 00:30:36.259
As sexy Martin!
648
00:30:37.002 --> 00:30:39.096
Yeah! Yeah, I could be sexy.
649
00:30:41.506 --> 00:30:43.372
You like dudes. Tell me.
650
00:30:43.642 --> 00:30:44.973
What part of me
do you find the hottest?
651
00:30:45.143 --> 00:30:47.134
- No. I'm not doing this.
- No. Come on.
652
00:30:47.212 --> 00:30:48.646
No, Martin.
I don't want to answer that.
653
00:30:48.714 --> 00:30:49.977
Look, if you said my shoulders
654
00:30:50.048 --> 00:30:52.449
I would dress to accentuate.
You know?
655
00:30:53.118 --> 00:30:54.449
You know what?
Here's your first tip.
656
00:30:54.619 --> 00:30:55.484
Ripped.
657
00:30:55.620 --> 00:30:56.485
Girls,
658
00:30:56.655 --> 00:30:58.783
they don't want
to read your clothes.
659
00:30:59.057 --> 00:31:00.320
I think you're wrong
about that one.
660
00:31:01.226 --> 00:31:02.990
- How many of these do you have?
- Hey, can you...
661
00:31:03.295 --> 00:31:06.230
Please, just stop! Hey! Stop!
662
00:31:06.832 --> 00:31:09.233
Look, I don't want your help
in changing me.
663
00:31:10.001 --> 00:31:13.198
I want your help in getting
Abby to like me for me.
664
00:31:16.041 --> 00:31:17.031
Look. Um...
665
00:31:19.077 --> 00:31:21.876
there's a party this Saturday.
At Bram's.
666
00:31:24.549 --> 00:31:26.347
Do you want to go
with my friends and I?
667
00:31:26.585 --> 00:31:27.677
Yes!
668
00:31:28.153 --> 00:31:30.087
Yes! So simple.
669
00:31:30.889 --> 00:31:32.414
Must be why
they call you Simple Simon.
670
00:31:32.758 --> 00:31:34.351
Nobody calls me that, Martin.
671
00:31:35.327 --> 00:31:37.557
Hey, uh, do you want to,
like, sleep over?
672
00:31:38.263 --> 00:31:39.162
SIMON: Nope.
673
00:31:49.441 --> 00:31:50.533
Oh, hello.
674
00:31:51.176 --> 00:31:52.405
Hey, what's up?
675
00:31:52.544 --> 00:31:53.773
- Nice, right?
- LEAH: Nick.
676
00:31:53.912 --> 00:31:54.777
Good?
677
00:31:54.913 --> 00:31:57.177
This is, like, a new level of
laziness, even fur you.
678
00:31:57.416 --> 00:31:59.851
What do you mean?
I'm Cristiano Ronaldo.
679
00:31:59.918 --> 00:32:00.908
And you couldn't
even be bothered
680
00:32:01.019 --> 00:32:02.350
to fill in the letters
on the back?
681
00:32:02.888 --> 00:32:04.583
No, come on. Give me that.
682
00:32:05.590 --> 00:32:07.752
You are a bully.
(LAUGHS)
683
00:32:07.893 --> 00:32:11.124
(IN A BRITISH ACCENT) Hey. Don't
talk about Yoko that way, man.
684
00:32:11.563 --> 00:32:13.725
Because if you do,
you're out of the band.
685
00:32:13.899 --> 00:32:15.196
Who are you guys supposed to be?
686
00:32:17.202 --> 00:32:18.431
John Lennon and Yoko Ono.
687
00:32:19.137 --> 00:32:20.969
Oh! I thought she was the girl
from The Ring,
688
00:32:21.139 --> 00:32:22.368
and you were Jesus.
689
00:32:22.474 --> 00:32:25.603
Jesus? No. Why would Jesus be
wearing a white suit?
690
00:32:25.877 --> 00:32:26.935
I don't know. You tell me.
691
00:32:27.045 --> 00:32:28.911
You're the one who decided to
dress up like fancy Jesus.
692
00:32:29.047 --> 00:32:30.446
Oh, my God. Okay. Come here.
693
00:32:30.715 --> 00:32:31.705
- Turn around.
- I'm here.
694
00:32:31.783 --> 00:32:32.648
- Turn around.
- Okay.
695
00:32:33.618 --> 00:32:35.416
Okay. Way better.
Is it good? Is it?
696
00:32:35.487 --> 00:32:36.955
Yeah. Now, we need to do
something about this hair.
697
00:32:37.055 --> 00:32:38.147
Maybe slick it back?
698
00:32:38.256 --> 00:32:40.054
NICK: It doesn't do that.
It doesn't slick back.
699
00:32:40.759 --> 00:32:41.885
Wonder Woman in the hizzy!
700
00:32:41.960 --> 00:32:42.950
NICK: Hi!
701
00:32:43.628 --> 00:32:44.493
I made up a catchphrase,
702
00:32:44.663 --> 00:32:46.131
'cause Wonder Woman
doesn't have one.
703
00:32:47.666 --> 00:32:48.565
"Hizzy" means house.
704
00:32:48.767 --> 00:32:49.825
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
705
00:32:49.935 --> 00:32:50.925
- Right. Yeah.
- Yeah.
706
00:32:51.937 --> 00:32:53.302
Oh, Abby, you look amazing.
707
00:32:53.505 --> 00:32:54.472
Thank you!
708
00:32:55.674 --> 00:32:56.971
Yeah.
You look awesome.
709
00:32:57.676 --> 00:32:59.610
I'm gonna go make
those frozen pizzas.
710
00:33:00.245 --> 00:33:02.339
- NICK: All right.
- Yeah, I'll help.
711
00:33:04.282 --> 00:33:05.681
That's a nice costume, for real.
712
00:33:05.784 --> 00:33:07.980
Thank you.
What? Cristiano Ronaldo!
713
00:33:08.086 --> 00:33:08.951
Nailed it.
714
00:33:09.921 --> 00:33:11.150
Do you remember
when we went to school
715
00:33:11.256 --> 00:33:12.246
dressed as Charlie's Angels?
716
00:33:12.357 --> 00:33:13.791
Oh, my God, yes.
717
00:33:13.959 --> 00:33:15.518
And Nick's balls fell out
of his booty shorts
718
00:33:15.627 --> 00:33:17.117
when he, like, dropped down
to do the gun pose?
719
00:33:18.697 --> 00:33:20.597
Mm. Do you miss
trick-or-treating?
720
00:33:20.765 --> 00:33:22.927
What, you mean instead of, like,
going to loud parties
721
00:33:23.001 --> 00:33:24.196
pretending to like
the taste of beer
722
00:33:24.302 --> 00:33:25.599
and feeling too
self-conscious to dance?
723
00:33:26.338 --> 00:33:27.601
I don't know why
you feel self-conscious.
724
00:33:27.672 --> 00:33:28.935
I mean,
725
00:33:29.140 --> 00:33:31.666
you are very clearly the coolest
person at our school.
726
00:33:33.345 --> 00:33:35.336
I'm pretty sure you're
the only one who feels that way.
727
00:33:36.448 --> 00:33:37.472
But thank you.
728
00:33:39.484 --> 00:33:42.283
(DOORBELL RINGING)
729
00:33:43.288 --> 00:33:44.278
Who's that?
730
00:33:45.056 --> 00:33:46.217
I invited Martin.
731
00:33:46.458 --> 00:33:47.948
Martin Addison?
(GROANS) Why?
732
00:33:48.193 --> 00:33:49.683
Is this a Make-A-Wish situation?
733
00:33:50.028 --> 00:33:51.359
(DOORBELL CONTINUES RINGING)
734
00:33:51.496 --> 00:33:52.463
No, he's cool.
735
00:33:54.533 --> 00:33:55.659
Hey.
736
00:33:56.835 --> 00:33:58.132
Oh, looking sharp.
737
00:33:58.737 --> 00:33:59.636
What the...
738
00:33:59.704 --> 00:34:01.866
- MARTIN: Guys.
- What are you supposed to be?
739
00:34:02.240 --> 00:34:03.298
Isn't it obvious?
740
00:34:04.376 --> 00:34:06.242
Ah! I'm a Freudian slip.
741
00:34:08.680 --> 00:34:10.648
Abby. Wonder Woman.
742
00:34:14.920 --> 00:34:16.354
NICK: Just pick a song already.
743
00:34:16.922 --> 00:34:18.890
Hey, Nick, uh,
can you not rush me?
744
00:34:19.057 --> 00:34:20.320
(LAUGHING)
745
00:34:20.759 --> 00:34:22.318
ABBY: Honestly, I can't
choose. There's so many.
746
00:34:22.394 --> 00:34:23.259
That's like Netflix.
747
00:34:23.361 --> 00:34:25.386
You know, trying to pick
a film on Netflix.
748
00:34:25.764 --> 00:34:28.665
I'm like... (GROANS)
"Am I in an Apatow mood,
749
00:34:28.733 --> 00:34:31.259
or am I in a Billy Wilder
mood?" You know?
750
00:34:31.369 --> 00:34:33.269
Ooh, play Drake. Yes.
751
00:34:33.505 --> 00:34:36.406
Uh, no. Drake is, like,
super played out at this point.
752
00:34:37.042 --> 00:34:39.170
You can't play out a rap god.
Doesn't happen.
753
00:34:39.244 --> 00:34:40.177
Impossible.
First of all,
754
00:34:40.278 --> 00:34:41.439
he's not a rap god.
755
00:34:41.546 --> 00:34:43.571
And second of all,
I'm looking for some Beyoncé.
756
00:34:43.682 --> 00:34:45.116
Oh.
I just can't find "Lemonade."
757
00:34:45.216 --> 00:34:47.014
Hey. Here's an
interesting question.
758
00:34:47.085 --> 00:34:47.950
I love Beyoncé.
759
00:34:48.053 --> 00:34:49.111
What makes you
guys feel nostalgic?
760
00:34:49.220 --> 00:34:50.085
You do?
761
00:34:50.188 --> 00:34:51.553
I mean, I think everybody
kinda likes Beyoncé.
762
00:34:51.690 --> 00:34:54.523
Minds grape soda makes me
feel very nostalgic.
763
00:34:54.593 --> 00:34:56.618
What are you talking about?
What makes you feel nostalgic?
764
00:34:57.295 --> 00:34:58.353
Hey, Abby.
765
00:34:58.730 --> 00:35:00.528
I bet you're gonna have
the best costume tonight.
766
00:35:01.433 --> 00:35:03.197
- Thanks.
- Nah, you're welcome.
767
00:35:04.235 --> 00:35:05.430
(MARTIN MOCKING)
768
00:35:07.205 --> 00:35:08.297
What the hell, Spier?
769
00:35:08.473 --> 00:35:10.805
Hey, why is Nick
still flirting with Abby?
770
00:35:11.042 --> 00:35:12.032
SIMON: I don't know, Martin.
771
00:35:12.210 --> 00:35:13.609
Maybe you shouldn't
have worn a dress.
772
00:35:14.646 --> 00:35:15.772
You look like a drag queen
773
00:35:15.880 --> 00:35:17.405
rolled around
in magnetic poetry.
774
00:35:18.550 --> 00:35:20.109
(MUSIC PLAYING)
775
00:35:20.218 --> 00:35:21.379
Hey, Abby!
776
00:35:21.720 --> 00:35:23.313
Whenever you need a refill
of your drink,
777
00:35:23.488 --> 00:35:24.978
I'll be
your designated bartender.
778
00:35:25.223 --> 00:35:26.156
So don't worry.
779
00:35:26.291 --> 00:35:28.282
Okay. Hey, Chloe,
come here!
780
00:35:28.660 --> 00:35:29.957
Yo, yo, yo!
781
00:35:30.061 --> 00:35:32.587
Hey. John Lennon?
782
00:35:32.797 --> 00:35:34.162
- Yeah. You got it.
- Nice.
783
00:35:34.299 --> 00:35:36.131
And, um, Nick you're...
784
00:35:37.402 --> 00:35:38.267
You're Nick.
785
00:35:38.403 --> 00:35:40.337
No. No. I'm Ronaldo.
786
00:35:40.605 --> 00:35:42.403
- Oh, My bad.
- Obviously.
787
00:35:42.574 --> 00:35:43.598
Who are you supposed to be?
788
00:35:43.675 --> 00:35:47.134
Oh. Uh... I am post-presidency
Barack Obama.
789
00:35:47.312 --> 00:35:49.508
So I'm just chillin' in
Hawaii, drinking Mai Tais,
790
00:35:49.648 --> 00:35:52.777
writing memoirs and hoping
Trump doesn't destroy my legacy.
791
00:35:52.917 --> 00:35:55.147
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)
- That's awesome.
792
00:35:55.820 --> 00:35:57.811
Thanks. Now let's go
to the bar. Come on.
793
00:35:58.023 --> 00:35:59.184
BOTH: Yeah.
794
00:35:59.424 --> 00:36:00.357
Hell yeah.
795
00:36:01.159 --> 00:36:03.423
(RAPPING) ♪ My name is
my sign is ♪
796
00:36:03.495 --> 00:36:04.985
- No, Garrett, no.
- ♪ My number is ♪
797
00:36:05.163 --> 00:36:07.598
♪ You need to let it go
need to let it go ♪
798
00:36:07.766 --> 00:36:08.927
♪ Need to let it go ♪
799
00:36:09.000 --> 00:36:11.264
♪ Nah to the ah
to the no, no, no... ♪
800
00:36:11.770 --> 00:36:13.033
♪ Whatchu gonna say? ♪
801
00:36:13.371 --> 00:36:14.930
All right, we should
have a little toast.
802
00:36:15.140 --> 00:36:16.972
No, thanks. I'm driving.
And Simon doesn't really drink.
803
00:36:17.042 --> 00:36:18.476
No, I drink.
It's cool. I drink.
804
00:36:18.643 --> 00:36:20.008
- All right, that's my man.
- NICK: Really?
805
00:36:20.111 --> 00:36:22.375
You wouldn't even have a glass
of Manischewitz at Leah's Seder.
806
00:36:22.480 --> 00:36:24.812
No, it's Halloween, man.
It's a special occasion.
807
00:36:25.383 --> 00:36:26.441
True that.
808
00:36:26.685 --> 00:36:28.119
BOTH: Cheers.
809
00:36:29.020 --> 00:36:29.885
(GAGGING)
810
00:36:32.357 --> 00:36:33.552
You Okay?
(COUGHING)
811
00:36:33.858 --> 00:36:35.451
("NEVER FALL IN LOVE" PLAYING)
812
00:36:37.529 --> 00:36:39.019
You're good at this.
You got this.
813
00:36:43.001 --> 00:36:46.665
Abby is the hottest
Wonder Woman I have ever seen.
814
00:36:46.805 --> 00:36:47.704
SIMON: Yeah.
815
00:36:47.839 --> 00:36:49.671
The shit that I would let her
do to me with that lasso.
816
00:36:49.808 --> 00:36:51.071
Oh, I know, man.
817
00:36:51.176 --> 00:36:53.543
Just, like, tie me up
with that thing.
818
00:36:53.812 --> 00:36:55.075
You're not into Abby, are you?
819
00:36:55.213 --> 00:36:56.339
No, no, no.
820
00:36:56.481 --> 00:36:58.643
I mean, it's not like I...
She's cute...
821
00:36:58.717 --> 00:36:59.650
Yeah.
...but she's just
822
00:36:59.751 --> 00:37:00.843
not really my type.
823
00:37:02.087 --> 00:37:05.216
Not because she's black.
I love black women.
824
00:37:05.657 --> 00:37:07.716
Not like, you know, I have
a thing for black women,
825
00:37:07.826 --> 00:37:09.555
I just love all women.
826
00:37:10.895 --> 00:37:12.021
MARTIN (LAUGHS)
827
00:37:12.163 --> 00:37:13.995
Oh, oh. Oh!
Oh!
828
00:37:14.099 --> 00:37:17.364
Oh, hey.
Hey! Oh, hey.
829
00:37:18.203 --> 00:37:20.433
Hey. Mm.
830
00:37:22.507 --> 00:37:24.566
- I'm gonna go ask her out.
- What? No.
831
00:37:25.276 --> 00:37:26.607
- No? No?
- No.
832
00:37:26.711 --> 00:37:28.236
- You can't ask Abby out.
- Why not?
833
00:37:28.880 --> 00:37:33.113
Because. She didn't tell you
about Jonathan?
834
00:37:33.251 --> 00:37:34.343
- She didn't tell you about that?
- No
835
00:37:34.419 --> 00:37:35.386
He's older.
836
00:37:35.720 --> 00:37:37.745
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
In college.
837
00:37:37.889 --> 00:37:39.288
He's really experienced.
838
00:37:42.060 --> 00:37:43.425
You know I've only
had sex once, right?
839
00:37:43.561 --> 00:37:44.426
I know that.
840
00:37:44.529 --> 00:37:45.621
You know,
it's like no one tells you
841
00:37:45.730 --> 00:37:46.788
how dark everything is
842
00:37:46.898 --> 00:37:49.424
and how slippery everything
gets, and, you know,
843
00:37:49.534 --> 00:37:50.865
the pans you think
are the right parts
844
00:37:50.935 --> 00:37:52.096
are actually
the wrong parts and...
845
00:37:53.538 --> 00:37:55.563
All right, I'm gonna go eat
my feelings away. (LAUGHS)
846
00:37:56.941 --> 00:37:57.965
Man, I'm sorry...
847
00:37:58.076 --> 00:37:59.441
NICK: No, it's okay.
Don't worry about it.
848
00:38:01.746 --> 00:38:02.804
Whoa, whoa.
849
00:38:07.619 --> 00:38:08.814
- BRAM: Hey, Simon!
- Hey.
850
00:38:08.987 --> 00:38:10.250
Hey, you wanna play Beirut?
851
00:38:10.555 --> 00:38:11.579
Yeah. Sure.
852
00:38:11.990 --> 00:38:13.321
We just need two more people.
853
00:38:13.424 --> 00:38:15.756
How about you and me,
and then, um...
854
00:38:16.161 --> 00:38:17.651
Let me pour. I insist.
855
00:38:17.962 --> 00:38:18.952
Abby and Martin?
856
00:38:19.764 --> 00:38:20.925
- BRAM: Okay, cool.
- SIMON: Hey, Martin.
857
00:38:20.999 --> 00:38:21.989
- MARTIN: Yeah.
- SIMON: Abby.
858
00:38:22.433 --> 00:38:23.457
Let's play Beirut.
859
00:38:23.568 --> 00:38:25.127
No, I don't...
Yeah. Let's do it.
860
00:38:25.303 --> 00:38:27.772
Come on, let's go.
It'll be fun. It'll be fun.
861
00:38:27.906 --> 00:38:29.806
Good old competition.
(CHUCKLES)
862
00:38:30.408 --> 00:38:31.773
Ready?
Yeah, I'm ready.
863
00:38:33.144 --> 00:38:34.634
Beirut. Right?
864
00:38:34.746 --> 00:38:35.645
- Yes!
- (SIGHS)
865
00:38:35.847 --> 00:38:37.508
Okay. Have you ever played
Beirut before?
866
00:38:37.949 --> 00:38:39.110
Uh, totally. Yeah.
867
00:38:39.818 --> 00:38:42.810
Great. All right, so,
two reracks, no blowing
868
00:38:42.921 --> 00:38:43.979
and two balls in the cup means
869
00:38:44.088 --> 00:38:45.180
that you have
to take three, okay?
870
00:38:45.323 --> 00:38:46.347
Okay. Cool.
871
00:38:46.925 --> 00:38:48.791
I thought we were talking
about a different game.
872
00:38:48.860 --> 00:38:50.259
We'll just explain
as we go. Okay?
873
00:38:50.328 --> 00:38:51.318
- Yeah.
- Okay. Got it.
874
00:38:51.429 --> 00:38:52.328
SIMON: Ready?
875
00:38:52.430 --> 00:38:53.829
Maybe you should take these...
876
00:38:53.965 --> 00:38:54.864
Oh.
877
00:38:55.767 --> 00:38:56.632
You'll see better.
878
00:38:56.868 --> 00:38:58.097
Right?
Good idea. Yeah.
879
00:38:59.270 --> 00:39:00.760
- All you.
- Raindrop!
880
00:39:00.839 --> 00:39:02.671
MARTIN: Here we go, all right.
You got this one.
881
00:39:02.841 --> 00:39:04.206
Oh, is that...
This is mine to drink?
882
00:39:06.678 --> 00:39:07.668
God.
883
00:39:08.980 --> 00:39:09.845
Oh!
884
00:39:11.716 --> 00:39:12.615
All right.
885
00:39:12.684 --> 00:39:14.277
ALL: Chug! Chug! Chug!
886
00:39:15.486 --> 00:39:16.385
(IMITATES EXPLOSION)
887
00:39:16.521 --> 00:39:18.046
Do we need a handshake?
Is that...
888
00:39:18.323 --> 00:39:19.347
You get one of these in
889
00:39:19.490 --> 00:39:20.787
and we can totally
have a handshake.
890
00:39:21.659 --> 00:39:22.820
Fly it away. Fly it away.
891
00:39:24.295 --> 00:39:25.956
Chug, chug, chug.
892
00:39:26.464 --> 00:39:27.522
- MARTIN: Sweet!
- All right.
893
00:39:27.799 --> 00:39:28.664
(BELCHES)
894
00:39:29.968 --> 00:39:31.402
♪ As long as you love me ♪
895
00:39:31.636 --> 00:39:34.833
♪ We could be starving
we could be homeless ♪
896
00:39:34.906 --> 00:39:36.032
♪ We could be loved ♪
897
00:39:36.374 --> 00:39:38.240
♪ As long as you love me ♪
898
00:39:38.343 --> 00:39:40.505
(ALL CHEERING)
899
00:39:43.181 --> 00:39:45.548
♪ Why can't I get
just one screw ♪
900
00:39:45.683 --> 00:39:48.050
♪ Baby, I know what to do ♪
901
00:39:48.152 --> 00:39:50.917
♪ But something won't let me
make love to you ♪
902
00:39:51.322 --> 00:39:55.316
♪ Day after day ♪
903
00:39:55.660 --> 00:40:00.188
♪ I get angry and I will say ♪
904
00:40:05.169 --> 00:40:08.867
Hey, Bram. It's me, Jacques.
905
00:40:09.007 --> 00:40:11.271
("MONSTER MASH" PLAYING)
906
00:40:11.509 --> 00:40:13.534
Hey, Bram. I'm Jacques.
907
00:40:16.414 --> 00:40:20.214
Hey, Barack. It's me, Jacques.
908
00:40:21.886 --> 00:40:23.752
(SIGHS) Why did I pick Jacques?
909
00:40:25.256 --> 00:40:26.382
BOY: Yeah, no problem.
910
00:40:26.524 --> 00:40:27.582
(GIRLS LAUGHING)
911
00:40:41.773 --> 00:40:42.638
Oh.
912
00:40:43.741 --> 00:40:45.607
I'm sorry, I thought
this was the bathroom.
913
00:40:47.779 --> 00:40:48.769
Sorry.
914
00:40:55.653 --> 00:40:57.712
- I'm starting to get so tired!
- I am so tired.
915
00:41:01.292 --> 00:41:04.057
Hey, Martin, not now, man.
All right? I've had a big night.
916
00:41:06.297 --> 00:41:07.162
Oh!
917
00:41:07.432 --> 00:41:09.833
Really? Really?
918
00:41:11.135 --> 00:41:12.967
(GROANS) I'm sorry.
919
00:41:13.071 --> 00:41:14.630
Come on!
(MARTIN COUGHING)
920
00:41:17.642 --> 00:41:19.132
- LEAH: What are you doing?
- I don't know.
921
00:41:20.511 --> 00:41:21.410
(LEAH SIGHS)
922
00:41:22.180 --> 00:41:23.670
♪ Willkommen ♪
923
00:41:23.848 --> 00:41:26.340
- Are you serious?
- ♪ Bienvenue ♪
924
00:41:26.784 --> 00:41:29.845
- ♪ Welcome... ♪
- Whoa. Careful.
925
00:41:30.021 --> 00:41:32.115
(LAUGHS) Okay, come on.
We gotta get you home.
926
00:41:36.127 --> 00:41:37.424
Look, we're so close!
927
00:41:37.495 --> 00:41:38.462
Oh, my God!
928
00:41:38.529 --> 00:41:39.428
Wait, what?
929
00:41:39.664 --> 00:41:40.995
Dude, my parents are still up.
930
00:41:41.132 --> 00:41:42.258
Oh, God.
931
00:41:42.333 --> 00:41:43.300
Oh...
Okay, you know what...
932
00:41:43.368 --> 00:41:44.301
Come on.
933
00:41:45.169 --> 00:41:46.830
I need you to think of
something really sad...
934
00:41:46.938 --> 00:41:47.803
Uh-huh.
935
00:41:47.872 --> 00:41:49.704
Like, the documentary
about how all the whales
936
00:41:49.807 --> 00:41:50.774
hate living at SeaWorld.
937
00:41:50.875 --> 00:41:51.865
Too sad!
938
00:41:51.976 --> 00:41:53.137
God. Okay, then just,
you know what,
939
00:41:53.211 --> 00:41:54.201
don't say anything at all...
940
00:41:54.345 --> 00:41:56.643
And we'll ditch the barf shirt
till tomorrow.
941
00:41:56.714 --> 00:41:57.613
SIMON: Okay.
942
00:41:58.983 --> 00:41:59.973
- LEAH: Si?
- SIMON: Yeah.
943
00:42:00.218 --> 00:42:01.947
LEAH:
Just as little as possible,
944
00:42:02.020 --> 00:42:03.112
say as little as possible.
945
00:42:04.188 --> 00:42:07.158
(DOOR CREAKS)
946
00:42:11.996 --> 00:42:13.486
EMILY: So how does that work?
947
00:42:13.564 --> 00:42:15.362
I know, I remember
when I went to...
948
00:42:15.800 --> 00:42:16.790
Hey, guys!
949
00:42:17.635 --> 00:42:19.330
Hey!
Hey!
950
00:42:19.704 --> 00:42:20.865
Come talk to us.
Hey!
951
00:42:21.039 --> 00:42:22.871
How was the party?
It was really fun.
952
00:42:23.007 --> 00:42:23.906
- Was it?
- Yeah.
953
00:42:24.342 --> 00:42:25.332
Aces.
954
00:42:26.544 --> 00:42:28.740
BOTH: Huh. (CHUCKLING)
955
00:42:30.148 --> 00:42:32.480
Uh, well. Thanks for
letting me stay over.
956
00:42:32.550 --> 00:42:34.040
- JACK: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- EMILY: Yeah.
957
00:42:34.318 --> 00:42:36.047
You've been
staying over 10 years.
958
00:42:36.521 --> 00:42:37.716
You don't have to thank us.
959
00:42:37.922 --> 00:42:39.822
Oh. Yeah, thanks.
960
00:42:40.558 --> 00:42:41.855
(WHISPERS) Stop. Shh!
961
00:42:45.530 --> 00:42:47.396
John Lennon was wearing
a woman's sweater.
962
00:42:47.498 --> 00:42:48.932
Mm.
And he's drunk.
963
00:42:49.333 --> 00:42:50.892
Definitely.
So how do we feel about that?
964
00:42:51.002 --> 00:42:52.731
Well, he didn't drive drunk,
965
00:42:52.837 --> 00:42:54.271
and he's home
before curfew, so...
966
00:42:55.006 --> 00:42:57.100
Good. That's what I thought
we thought.
967
00:42:57.275 --> 00:42:58.709
Yeah, that's what
we think, right?
968
00:42:58.776 --> 00:43:00.039
Yeah. We're good parents.
969
00:43:00.111 --> 00:43:01.169
Yeah, we're good parents.
Right?
970
00:43:02.447 --> 00:43:04.347
(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
971
00:43:06.350 --> 00:43:07.511
The room stopped spinning.
972
00:43:18.963 --> 00:43:20.055
Do you ever feel weird?
973
00:43:22.133 --> 00:43:24.192
- Weird?
- Yeah.
974
00:43:27.738 --> 00:43:29.763
Sometimes I feel like
I'm always on the outside.
975
00:43:33.778 --> 00:43:34.870
What do you mean?
976
00:43:35.546 --> 00:43:37.139
Like tonight, you know...
977
00:43:37.882 --> 00:43:39.816
I was at that party,
and it was fun, but...
978
00:43:40.551 --> 00:43:42.315
it kinda felt like I was
979
00:43:42.453 --> 00:43:44.251
watching it
from across the room.
980
00:43:46.924 --> 00:43:48.619
I don't know,
there's this invisible line
981
00:43:48.726 --> 00:43:50.751
that I have to cross to really
be a part of everything
982
00:43:50.828 --> 00:43:52.421
and I just,
I can't ever cross it.
983
00:43:55.166 --> 00:43:56.725
I feel that way sometimes, too.
984
00:43:57.335 --> 00:43:58.928
(LAUGHS)
Not tonight you didn't.
985
00:43:59.237 --> 00:44:00.671
Yeah, I was trying something.
986
00:44:02.273 --> 00:44:04.002
Yeah, sometimes I think
it'd be so much easier
987
00:44:04.108 --> 00:44:06.600
to be one of these people who
can just take a few shots
988
00:44:06.677 --> 00:44:08.406
and then hook up
with whoever's closest.
989
00:44:10.348 --> 00:44:12.077
Yeah, I guess I'm just unlucky.
990
00:44:12.250 --> 00:44:13.183
Unlucky?
991
00:44:14.752 --> 00:44:15.685
Why?
992
00:44:17.188 --> 00:44:19.179
Because I'm not a casual person.
993
00:44:20.791 --> 00:44:22.782
What kind of person are you?
994
00:44:26.164 --> 00:44:27.359
(SIGHS)
995
00:44:27.965 --> 00:44:31.162
I think I'm the kind of person
who is destined to care so much
996
00:44:31.269 --> 00:44:32.998
about one person,
it nearly kills me.
997
00:44:38.342 --> 00:44:39.366
Me too.
998
00:44:47.218 --> 00:44:48.379
It's getting late.
999
00:45:04.402 --> 00:45:05.301
Si?
1000
00:45:06.337 --> 00:45:07.304
Yeah?
1001
00:45:07.505 --> 00:45:08.495
Good night.
1002
00:45:10.408 --> 00:45:11.307
Good night.
1003
00:45:33.331 --> 00:45:34.321
SIMON: Dear Blue,
1004
00:45:35.099 --> 00:45:36.999
so one of my friends
likes the other,
1005
00:45:37.702 --> 00:45:40.535
and he has no idea.
I guess we all have secrets.
1006
00:45:41.038 --> 00:45:44.064
Anyway, I've been thinking about
why I haven't come out yet.
1007
00:45:45.009 --> 00:45:46.841
Maybe it's because
it doesn't seem fair
1008
00:45:46.911 --> 00:45:48.572
that only gay people
have to come out.
1009
00:45:48.779 --> 00:45:50.076
Why is straight the default?
1010
00:45:51.215 --> 00:45:52.546
I have something
I need to tell you.
1011
00:45:52.917 --> 00:45:55.079
Mom, there's something
I have to tell you.
1012
00:45:55.353 --> 00:45:56.252
Can we talk?
1013
00:45:56.520 --> 00:45:57.419
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
1014
00:45:57.622 --> 00:46:00.091
I'm straight.
1015
00:46:00.224 --> 00:46:01.783
I'm sorry, Mom, it's true.
1016
00:46:02.360 --> 00:46:03.225
I like girls.
1017
00:46:03.527 --> 00:46:04.392
(COUGHING)
1018
00:46:05.896 --> 00:46:06.761
I like men.
1019
00:46:06.897 --> 00:46:08.092
You get that
from your daddy's side.
1020
00:46:09.267 --> 00:46:10.701
I'm in love with Nick.
1021
00:46:12.970 --> 00:46:14.597
I feel like I've been raising
a stranger.
1022
00:46:14.739 --> 00:46:16.104
Yes, absolutely, you have.
1023
00:46:16.607 --> 00:46:17.631
I'm heterosexual.
1024
00:46:17.942 --> 00:46:20.877
Oh, God. Help me, Jesus. Please.
1025
00:46:20.978 --> 00:46:22.707
SIMON: Or maybe it's because
I can't be sure
1026
00:46:22.880 --> 00:46:24.405
this whole "being gay" thing
is forever.
1027
00:46:24.715 --> 00:46:26.080
Or maybe it's that there's
not that much
1028
00:46:26.250 --> 00:46:28.309
of high school left and pan
of me wants to hold on to
1029
00:46:28.419 --> 00:46:30.751
who I've always been
just a little longer.
1030
00:46:31.389 --> 00:46:33.221
And then, when I go to college
in Los Angeles,
1031
00:46:33.491 --> 00:46:35.220
I'll be gay and proud,
I promise.
1032
00:46:35.326 --> 00:46:36.885
("I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY"
PLAYING)
1033
00:47:29.180 --> 00:47:30.306
Yeah, maybe not that gay.
1034
00:47:30.514 --> 00:47:31.777
SIMON: I'm not sure
who I'm promising.
1035
00:47:32.316 --> 00:47:33.647
I'll keep ruminating.
1036
00:47:34.018 --> 00:47:35.042
Love, Jacques.
1037
00:47:43.661 --> 00:47:44.958
Shit!
1038
00:47:49.734 --> 00:47:51.463
TAYLOR: So, yeah,
after swimming with dolphins,
1039
00:47:51.535 --> 00:47:53.401
we fly to Saint Martin
for New Year's.
1040
00:47:54.205 --> 00:47:55.969
Anybody else,
Christmas in the Caribbean?
1041
00:47:56.540 --> 00:47:57.701
Staying here.
1042
00:47:57.808 --> 00:47:59.674
We have a classic
Spier tradition
1043
00:47:59.810 --> 00:48:01.539
of French toast
on Christmas Eve.
1044
00:48:01.812 --> 00:48:03.541
I'm going to an unheated
vacation house
1045
00:48:03.647 --> 00:48:04.546
in the middle of nowhere.
1046
00:48:04.682 --> 00:48:06.673
As is our bleak
family tradition.
1047
00:48:07.318 --> 00:48:09.844
(WINCES) Ow! Ow!
1048
00:48:11.021 --> 00:48:12.716
Oh, man. Oh.
You okay?
1049
00:48:12.857 --> 00:48:14.382
Oh, yeah, that's a paper cut.
1050
00:48:15.159 --> 00:48:16.251
Overdramatic.
1051
00:48:16.894 --> 00:48:20.159
Um, Simon, do you know
where the bandages are?
1052
00:48:20.598 --> 00:48:22.862
Yeah. They're just
in the supply closet.
1053
00:48:23.334 --> 00:48:24.699
Okay, do you mind showing me?
1054
00:48:27.605 --> 00:48:28.595
Be right back.
1055
00:48:29.874 --> 00:48:31.205
He's like a nurse, this man.
1056
00:48:33.043 --> 00:48:34.704
Okay, I don't actually have
a paper cut.
1057
00:48:34.779 --> 00:48:36.679
I know that, Martin.
You're a very bad actor.
1058
00:48:36.781 --> 00:48:38.579
What, you think this is funny?
1059
00:48:40.384 --> 00:48:42.512
Simon, look,
I don't wanna have to
1060
00:48:42.586 --> 00:48:44.384
leak your emails, all right?
But I will.
1061
00:48:44.588 --> 00:48:47.285
Look, you cannot
bring Blue into this, okay?
1062
00:48:47.391 --> 00:48:48.688
If he found out
that my emails got leaked,
1063
00:48:48.759 --> 00:48:50.227
he'd get totally freaked,
all right?
1064
00:48:50.361 --> 00:48:51.294
He'd never talk to me again.
1065
00:48:51.429 --> 00:48:52.919
Yeah, probably not, you know?
1066
00:48:53.097 --> 00:48:54.861
The Internet's a freaky place
to meet people.
1067
00:48:54.965 --> 00:48:56.455
- Yo.
- Hey!
1068
00:48:56.567 --> 00:48:57.432
Hey!
1069
00:48:57.535 --> 00:48:58.969
Fun movie! Freak.
Freaky Friday.
1070
00:48:59.069 --> 00:49:01.060
That's a fun movie!
Freaky, freak, freaky.
1071
00:49:01.138 --> 00:49:03.402
Yeah, freaky-deaky Dutch!
♪ She's a super freak ♪
1072
00:49:03.474 --> 00:49:04.805
- BOTH: ♪ Super freak ♪
- You guys are weird.
1073
00:49:05.409 --> 00:49:07.741
I need a Band-Aid.
Those programs are a bitch.
1074
00:49:10.147 --> 00:49:12.548
Erm, yo. Martin was having
trouble running his lines
1075
00:49:12.616 --> 00:49:16.314
and we were thinking we could go
to Waffle House and go over 'em.
1076
00:49:17.555 --> 00:49:18.488
- Really?
- Yeah.
1077
00:49:18.589 --> 00:49:19.454
That would be great.
1078
00:49:20.124 --> 00:49:21.148
I'm insky.
1079
00:49:23.394 --> 00:49:25.624
- Good work, Spier.
- Go to hell, Martin.
1080
00:49:30.935 --> 00:49:31.800
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
1081
00:49:35.105 --> 00:49:36.971
BLUE: Jacques,
if I were a betting man,
1082
00:49:37.241 --> 00:49:39.335
I'd say you were drunk emailing
me during that last letter.
1083
00:49:39.777 --> 00:49:41.438
Don't worry. I liked it.
1084
00:49:41.779 --> 00:49:43.679
As for coming out,
I know what you mean
1085
00:49:43.781 --> 00:49:44.976
about wanting to waft
till college.
1086
00:49:45.115 --> 00:49:46.674
But our emails have inspired me.
1087
00:49:47.418 --> 00:49:49.785
I'm going to tell my family.
So thanks, Jacques.
1088
00:49:50.354 --> 00:49:52.118
Love, Blue.
1089
00:50:05.369 --> 00:50:06.700
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1090
00:50:06.971 --> 00:50:07.836
Yeah.
1091
00:50:10.374 --> 00:50:11.273
MARTIN: Hey!
1092
00:50:11.709 --> 00:50:14.007
- Madame.
- ABBY: Oh.
1093
00:50:16.046 --> 00:50:17.673
(CHUCKLES) Simon...
1094
00:50:18.782 --> 00:50:20.511
How the thespians
rehearse, right?
1095
00:50:20.618 --> 00:50:21.517
LYLE: Hey, guys.
1096
00:50:22.186 --> 00:50:23.278
What can I get you?
1097
00:50:23.521 --> 00:50:26.115
Lyle! You guys know Lyle?
We have Latin together.
1098
00:50:26.223 --> 00:50:27.520
ABBY: I don't think so.
1099
00:50:27.958 --> 00:50:29.016
Hi. How's it going?
1100
00:50:29.126 --> 00:50:31.720
Actually, we had Bio together
last year?
1101
00:50:31.896 --> 00:50:33.159
- SIMON: Oh, really?
- It's Simon, right?
1102
00:50:33.397 --> 00:50:36.196
Yeah. Yeah, sorry,
I don't, um...
1103
00:50:36.333 --> 00:50:38.324
It's okay.
It was like a big class,
1104
00:50:38.469 --> 00:50:39.800
and I have a good
memory for faces.
1105
00:50:41.071 --> 00:50:42.505
What can I get you guys?
1106
00:50:42.573 --> 00:50:44.541
MARTIN: Well, we plan
on being here for a while.
1107
00:50:44.842 --> 00:50:47.470
So, we're gonna start off small
and go larger.
1108
00:50:48.145 --> 00:50:51.308
Probably get some bacon first,
some sausage. I'd say...
1109
00:50:52.249 --> 00:50:54.980
ABBY: "You're right. I'm much
too strange and extraordinary.
1110
00:50:55.252 --> 00:50:57.744
Much! And much too distracting!"
1111
00:50:58.222 --> 00:50:59.189
Wow.
1112
00:51:00.090 --> 00:51:01.717
And you never did any acting
at your old school?
1113
00:51:02.726 --> 00:51:04.888
No. Can we get back to...
1114
00:51:04.995 --> 00:51:06.554
And yet,
you're from D.C., right?
1115
00:51:06.664 --> 00:51:08.029
Yeah. Can you give me
my next cue, though?
1116
00:51:08.098 --> 00:51:09.759
MARTIN: So why
did you move here?
1117
00:51:10.668 --> 00:51:12.158
Because my parents got divorced
1118
00:51:12.269 --> 00:51:14.033
and my aunt found us
an apartment in her building.
1119
00:51:14.338 --> 00:51:16.670
- Why'd they get divorced?
- Why dues it matter, Martin?
1120
00:51:16.774 --> 00:51:18.037
Are you writing
a book about girls
1121
00:51:18.108 --> 00:51:19.542
from a broken home in D.C.?
1122
00:51:20.744 --> 00:51:21.768
So?
1123
00:51:23.213 --> 00:51:25.113
I thought that my dad
1124
00:51:25.249 --> 00:51:27.843
was the greatest
person on the planet.
1125
00:51:29.553 --> 00:51:33.353
But it turns out that he's
just a sad, tired loser
1126
00:51:33.524 --> 00:51:35.891
who hates his job,
drinks way too much beer,
1127
00:51:36.126 --> 00:51:37.287
and cheats on his wife.
1128
00:51:37.795 --> 00:51:40.230
To make up for all the stuff
that I just mentioned, so...
1129
00:51:40.431 --> 00:51:41.762
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
1130
00:51:42.533 --> 00:51:43.398
Yeah.
1131
00:51:43.801 --> 00:51:45.428
You deserve the father
that you thought you had.
1132
00:51:48.272 --> 00:51:49.706
You know what, Abby?
1133
00:51:51.542 --> 00:51:53.306
You deserve a goddamn superhero.
1134
00:51:54.211 --> 00:51:56.373
Okay, thank you.
Let's get back to the...
1135
00:51:56.580 --> 00:51:57.445
Say it.
1136
00:51:59.149 --> 00:52:00.048
What?
1137
00:52:00.818 --> 00:52:02.047
I wanna hear you say,
1138
00:52:02.553 --> 00:52:06.114
"I, Abby Susso,
am an incredible young woman
1139
00:52:06.957 --> 00:52:09.585
and deserve
a goddamn superhero."
1140
00:52:09.893 --> 00:52:12.385
I'm not gonna say that, Martin.
(LAUGHING)
1141
00:52:12.663 --> 00:52:14.097
Okay. Well, um...
1142
00:52:14.965 --> 00:52:16.455
I won't stop until you say it.
1143
00:52:17.401 --> 00:52:18.266
ABBY: Okay.
1144
00:52:19.470 --> 00:52:21.097
What are you...
Excuse me.
1145
00:52:21.338 --> 00:52:22.931
- Waffle House patrons!
- ABBY: Martin. Martin, stop.
1146
00:52:23.007 --> 00:52:24.600
- Pardon the interruption.
- BOTH: Martin.
1147
00:52:24.742 --> 00:52:27.074
I would just like to say
that Abby Susso here
1148
00:52:27.244 --> 00:52:28.439
is an incredible young woman.
1149
00:52:28.646 --> 00:52:29.636
Martin, please.
1150
00:52:29.747 --> 00:52:31.806
And deserves
a goddamn superhero.
1151
00:52:31.949 --> 00:52:34.145
- Okay, okay...
- That's right. Abby Susso!
1152
00:52:34.485 --> 00:52:35.577
Abby Susso I'm Abby Susso!
1153
00:52:35.753 --> 00:52:37.482
- Is an incredible young woman!
- ABBY: I'm Abby Susso!
1154
00:52:37.755 --> 00:52:40.087
Incredible young woman,
and deserves...
1155
00:52:40.491 --> 00:52:41.959
A goddamn superhero.
A goddamn superhero.
1156
00:52:42.159 --> 00:52:43.923
A goddamn superhero!
A goddamn superhero!
1157
00:52:44.294 --> 00:52:45.625
A goddamn superhero!
1158
00:52:52.302 --> 00:52:53.167
Yeah.
1159
00:52:54.104 --> 00:52:55.162
All right.
(CLAPS)
1160
00:52:56.173 --> 00:52:57.663
Breakthrough. Yeah.
1161
00:52:58.609 --> 00:53:01.101
Okay, you can all go back
to your meals. Thank you.
1162
00:53:01.178 --> 00:53:02.668
Please sit down. Please.
1163
00:53:04.048 --> 00:53:06.016
- (MARTIN CLEARS THROAT)
- (ABBY SIGHS)
1164
00:53:06.183 --> 00:53:07.207
Well...
1165
00:53:07.951 --> 00:53:10.613
Well, let's get back to...
1166
00:53:11.321 --> 00:53:13.289
my entrance into your song.
I'm gonna take five.
1167
00:53:13.357 --> 00:53:14.222
(ABBY LAUGHS)
1168
00:53:14.324 --> 00:53:16.224
MARTIN: "Ah, the Kit Kat Klub
proudly presents...
1169
00:53:16.360 --> 00:53:17.293
I'll be right back.
1170
00:53:17.361 --> 00:53:19.193
...a beautiful woman
coming straight from England."
1171
00:53:19.329 --> 00:53:21.889
Sally Bow/es, everybody."
(LAUGHS)
1172
00:53:32.209 --> 00:53:33.199
Hey.
1173
00:53:34.978 --> 00:53:38.004
Were you in Bio when they did
that identifying leaves test?
1174
00:53:38.315 --> 00:53:40.682
Yes. And Joel Winslow
ate that poison ivy.
1175
00:53:41.051 --> 00:53:42.541
Because Doug Fogerty told him
it was pot.
1176
00:53:42.720 --> 00:53:44.188
- Right. (LAUGHS)
- SIMON: Poor Joel.
1177
00:53:44.321 --> 00:53:46.688
I think he just wants
to be liked 'cause...
1178
00:53:47.691 --> 00:53:50.490
you ever notice that he has
extra pens in his backpack?
1179
00:53:50.561 --> 00:53:53.428
Like, you know,
he's just waiting for the day
1180
00:53:53.530 --> 00:53:55.396
that someone comes up
to ask him for a pen?
1181
00:53:56.066 --> 00:53:59.161
And then he can be that guy
to give 'em a pen.
1182
00:54:00.504 --> 00:54:01.903
You see everything,
don't you, Simon?
1183
00:54:02.272 --> 00:54:03.364
I don't know.
1184
00:54:04.441 --> 00:54:06.068
But Simon means
"the one who hears"
1185
00:54:06.210 --> 00:54:08.269
and Spier means
"the one who sees"
1186
00:54:08.378 --> 00:54:10.574
so you put that all together
1187
00:54:10.681 --> 00:54:13.412
and pretty sure that means
I was just destined
1188
00:54:13.550 --> 00:54:14.745
to be up
in everybody's business.
1189
00:54:17.755 --> 00:54:19.052
I've gotta get back inside
1190
00:54:19.189 --> 00:54:20.452
and scrub down
some waffle irons.
1191
00:54:21.091 --> 00:54:22.957
- Duty calls.
- Indeed.
1192
00:54:24.094 --> 00:54:25.220
I'll see you in there.
1193
00:54:25.629 --> 00:54:26.858
Yeah, I'll see ya.
1194
00:54:33.937 --> 00:54:34.802
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
1195
00:54:42.780 --> 00:54:43.645
Hi.
1196
00:54:44.748 --> 00:54:47.308
BLUE: So my dad's flying in
tonight for Hanukkah.
1197
00:54:47.651 --> 00:54:48.618
If you are thinking,
1198
00:54:48.719 --> 00:54:50.118
"But Hanukkah isn't
for another month!"
1199
00:54:50.220 --> 00:54:51.654
Well, you are correct.
1200
00:54:52.122 --> 00:54:54.113
Welcome to navigating
divorced parents.
1201
00:54:54.992 --> 00:54:56.426
Take holidays
where you can get them.
1202
00:54:56.660 --> 00:54:59.425
And my dad's staying at the
same crappy motel as always.
1203
00:54:59.630 --> 00:55:01.394
Well do all our
horribly awkward traditions.
1204
00:55:02.766 --> 00:55:05.167
Well light the menorah
and I'll silently pray
1205
00:55:05.269 --> 00:55:06.828
that the sprinklers
don't go off.
1206
00:55:07.237 --> 00:55:08.636
That's happened twice before.
1207
00:55:10.474 --> 00:55:12.670
Would you believe I'm
considering doubling down
1208
00:55:12.843 --> 00:55:14.004
and turning
this whole awkward mess
1209
00:55:14.111 --> 00:55:15.738
into a coming out thing?
1210
00:55:16.847 --> 00:55:18.008
Do you think I'm crazy?
1211
00:55:19.016 --> 00:55:20.643
SIMON: No, Blue,
I don't think you're crazy.
1212
00:55:21.185 --> 00:55:23.017
I think you're crazy brave.
1213
00:55:37.601 --> 00:55:40.161
ABBY: Honestly, Martin used to
annoy the crap out of me.
1214
00:55:40.270 --> 00:55:42.329
But he's actually kind of
a cool person.
1215
00:55:44.842 --> 00:55:46.537
I've been meaning to ask you
about your parents.
1216
00:55:47.344 --> 00:55:48.641
I just didn't wanna say anything
1217
00:55:48.712 --> 00:55:49.941
when we were actually
in the restaurant.
1218
00:55:50.047 --> 00:55:51.845
I wasn't sure if you
wanted to talk about it.
1219
00:55:52.316 --> 00:55:54.375
Yeah' No, I don't mention it
a lot
1220
00:55:54.818 --> 00:55:57.116
because it kind of messes
with my image.
1221
00:55:58.121 --> 00:55:59.282
What kind of image?
1222
00:56:01.124 --> 00:56:05.322
The girl who is excited to start
a new school senior year.
1223
00:56:06.029 --> 00:56:09.624
Girl whose life didn't
just end, like, three months ago,
1224
00:56:09.700 --> 00:56:11.964
who's angry and sad
all the time.
1225
00:56:14.705 --> 00:56:16.036
Girl who still believes in love.
1226
00:56:17.174 --> 00:56:19.871
Come on.
You still believe in love.
1227
00:56:21.044 --> 00:56:21.909
Maybe.
1228
00:56:22.679 --> 00:56:23.874
Have you ever been in love?
1229
00:56:27.584 --> 00:56:28.710
I think so.
1230
00:56:43.567 --> 00:56:44.432
Abby.
1231
00:56:45.702 --> 00:56:46.567
Yeah?
1232
00:56:50.073 --> 00:56:50.938
I'm gay.
1233
00:56:52.910 --> 00:56:53.775
Oh.
1234
00:56:56.780 --> 00:56:58.077
You can't tell anyone though.
1235
00:56:59.349 --> 00:57:00.373
Nobody really knows,
1236
00:57:00.550 --> 00:57:02.348
and I don't really want people
to find out.
1237
00:57:02.419 --> 00:57:03.853
I won't. I promise.
1238
00:57:04.254 --> 00:57:05.119
Okay.
1239
00:57:10.294 --> 00:57:11.420
You surprised?
1240
00:57:12.796 --> 00:57:13.888
No.
1241
00:57:15.232 --> 00:57:16.893
- So you knew?
- No.
1242
00:57:18.535 --> 00:57:19.593
But you're not surprised?
1243
00:57:20.904 --> 00:57:22.133
Do you want me to be surprised?
1244
00:57:23.874 --> 00:57:24.864
I don't know.
1245
00:57:26.143 --> 00:57:27.133
Okay.
1246
00:57:28.045 --> 00:57:29.206
Well, I love you.
1247
00:57:30.580 --> 00:57:31.445
So...
1248
00:57:40.724 --> 00:57:41.714
Love you, too.
1249
00:57:48.632 --> 00:57:49.497
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
1250
00:57:49.933 --> 00:57:52.061
(TURN SIGNAL BEEPING)
1251
00:57:52.169 --> 00:57:53.432
There's no one behind us.
1252
00:57:53.503 --> 00:57:54.595
You don't have to put
your blinker on.
1253
00:57:54.671 --> 00:57:55.638
- Okay, just being safe.
- Yeah.
1254
00:58:10.187 --> 00:58:13.020
SIMON: Dear Blue, I hope
it goes okay with your dad.
1255
00:58:13.423 --> 00:58:15.790
Whatever happens,
you inspired me.
1256
00:58:16.259 --> 00:58:18.023
I came out to my friend tonight.
1257
00:58:18.128 --> 00:58:19.926
And I never would have
done that without you.
1258
00:58:20.163 --> 00:58:22.029
Maybe we should ride
this bravery train
1259
00:58:22.165 --> 00:58:23.530
and reveal our identities.
1260
00:58:24.167 --> 00:58:26.534
I'm dying to know who you are.
Love, Jacques.
1261
00:58:33.143 --> 00:58:34.201
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
1262
00:58:37.447 --> 00:58:39.381
BLUE: Hold my dad.
1263
00:58:40.484 --> 00:58:43.852
It was insanely awkward.
But also, kind of fine.
1264
00:58:44.988 --> 00:58:46.513
And you got it backwards.
1265
00:58:47.124 --> 00:58:48.683
It's you who inspires me.
1266
00:58:50.727 --> 00:58:51.956
But I'm sorry,
1267
00:58:52.729 --> 00:58:55.061
I'm just not ready for us to
know each other's identities.
1268
00:58:55.365 --> 00:58:56.457
Love, Blue.
1269
00:58:58.902 --> 00:59:00.996
(HUMS THE JAWS THEME)
1270
00:59:01.071 --> 00:59:03.665
Hey! What are you doing?
(GROWLS) I'm a fry shark!
1271
00:59:03.740 --> 00:59:05.674
Yeah!
(LAUGHS)
1272
00:59:07.477 --> 00:59:09.411
- MARTIN: That is good.
- ABBY: You're a good fry shark.
1273
00:59:09.513 --> 00:59:10.981
- MARTIN: Thank you, thank you.
- ABBY: I like that.
1274
00:59:11.048 --> 00:59:12.243
I didn't even know
you were coming near.
1275
00:59:12.382 --> 00:59:14.077
- MARTIN: You know what day it is?
- ABBY: What day is it?
1276
00:59:14.217 --> 00:59:15.082
MARTIN: Must be Friday!
1277
00:59:15.185 --> 00:59:16.050
BOTH: Oh!
1278
00:59:16.353 --> 00:59:17.718
I guess I'm being loved,
right? Right?
1279
00:59:17.888 --> 00:59:19.356
Yeah.
Excuse me.
1280
00:59:19.556 --> 00:59:21.320
Hey, what do you get
when you get black and Jewish?
1281
00:59:21.491 --> 00:59:22.822
- What?
- Bluish.
1282
00:59:23.093 --> 00:59:24.151
ABBY (LAUGHS): That's mean.
Simon?
1283
00:59:25.162 --> 00:59:27.654
Since when does Abby find
Martin so goddamn funny?
1284
00:59:28.432 --> 00:59:29.331
Yeah, it's crazy.
1285
00:59:29.766 --> 00:59:31.234
NICK: You know, this is stupid.
1286
00:59:31.435 --> 00:59:32.869
I'm just gonna tell her
that I like her.
1287
00:59:32.936 --> 00:59:33.903
And I've been thinking
1288
00:59:34.037 --> 00:59:35.163
the whole sexual
experience thing,
1289
00:59:35.238 --> 00:59:36.399
it's not that big of a deal.
1290
00:59:36.506 --> 00:59:37.735
And, actually,
I've been practicing, right?
1291
00:59:37.841 --> 00:59:39.172
I got this thing online.
It's really cool.
1292
00:59:39.276 --> 00:59:41.074
It's called a pocket puss...
Abby likes Martin.
1293
00:59:42.212 --> 00:59:43.338
She told me herself.
1294
00:59:43.447 --> 00:59:45.848
(SCOFFS) But he's Martin.
I know.
1295
00:59:47.217 --> 00:59:49.049
NICK: Look, I don't care.
I'm gonna try.
1296
00:59:49.186 --> 00:59:51.177
Hey, wait, wait.
What about Leah?
1297
00:59:52.089 --> 00:59:53.113
What about Leah?
1298
00:59:53.890 --> 00:59:54.755
SIMON: Dude.
1299
00:59:57.060 --> 00:59:58.050
Leah's in love with you.
1300
00:59:58.361 --> 00:59:59.260
No, she's not.
1301
00:59:59.596 --> 01:00:00.620
Are you kidding me?
1302
01:00:00.730 --> 01:00:02.198
I mean, come on.
The way she looks at you
1303
01:00:02.399 --> 01:00:04.925
and how she's been all jealous
ever since Abby's been around?
1304
01:00:05.035 --> 01:00:07.561
And she blushes every time
you come into the room.
1305
01:00:09.272 --> 01:00:10.706
Look, you and Abby...
1306
01:00:11.775 --> 01:00:12.799
it's never gonna happen.
1307
01:00:13.543 --> 01:00:14.874
But you and Leah...
1308
01:00:15.579 --> 01:00:17.240
I mean, you could be
incredible together.
1309
01:00:28.391 --> 01:00:29.415
- LEAH: Hey.
- What's up?
1310
01:00:31.561 --> 01:00:33.051
So I have something to tell you.
1311
01:00:34.965 --> 01:00:37.434
Nick just asked me to get dinner
before the homecoming game.
1312
01:00:39.069 --> 01:00:40.059
Okay.
1313
01:00:40.804 --> 01:00:43.000
No, like, Si, he was like...
1314
01:00:43.306 --> 01:00:45.775
He came up to me and he's like,
"Do you wanna go get dinner?"
1315
01:00:45.976 --> 01:00:46.943
All right, and I was like,
1316
01:00:47.010 --> 01:00:48.500
"Sure, are Abby and Simon in?"
And he was like
1317
01:00:48.945 --> 01:00:51.778
"I was thinking it could just be
the two of us. Like, a date."
1318
01:00:53.150 --> 01:00:54.015
That's amazing.
1319
01:00:55.452 --> 01:00:56.317
It is?
1320
01:00:57.954 --> 01:00:58.819
Yeah.
1321
01:00:59.856 --> 01:01:00.948
Leah, come on.
1322
01:01:04.094 --> 01:01:05.289
I know you're into him.
1323
01:01:05.595 --> 01:01:06.460
(SCOFFS)
What?
1324
01:01:06.997 --> 01:01:08.931
All that stuff that
you were talking about
1325
01:01:09.032 --> 01:01:10.261
the night after
Bram's party, about,
1326
01:01:10.367 --> 01:01:12.665
you know,
being so into one person
1327
01:01:12.769 --> 01:01:13.930
that it almost kills you.
1328
01:01:15.772 --> 01:01:16.864
You were talking about Nick.
1329
01:01:19.509 --> 01:01:20.374
Uh...
1330
01:01:21.344 --> 01:01:23.278
So you think
I should go out with him?
1331
01:01:24.281 --> 01:01:25.942
Yes. Yes.
1332
01:01:28.185 --> 01:01:29.050
Okay.
1333
01:01:30.554 --> 01:01:31.521
- SIMON: Yeah?
- LEAH: Yeah!
1334
01:01:31.621 --> 01:01:33.282
SIMON: I promise you,
you're not gonna regret it.
1335
01:01:33.356 --> 01:01:34.380
It's gonna be great!
1336
01:01:35.125 --> 01:01:36.524
(ALL CHEERING)
1337
01:01:37.294 --> 01:01:40.730
Let's pull out
your claws, Grizzlies!
1338
01:01:41.231 --> 01:01:44.462
Oh!
(LAUGHS)
1339
01:01:49.172 --> 01:01:52.301
Simon, that Almont QB
is insanely hot.
1340
01:01:52.976 --> 01:01:54.808
We can talk about stuff
like this now, you know.
1341
01:01:54.878 --> 01:01:56.312
Yeah, I still don't know
1342
01:01:56.379 --> 01:01:57.744
if I really quite
figured out how.
1343
01:01:59.649 --> 01:02:01.811
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
1344
01:02:01.985 --> 01:02:04.886
We gotta practice.
All right. Simon.
1345
01:02:05.055 --> 01:02:06.181
Yeah?
Do you think
1346
01:02:06.256 --> 01:02:11.023
that quarterback is lookin'
fine in those hot pants?
1347
01:02:12.562 --> 01:02:13.654
He's lookin' pretty fine.
1348
01:02:15.899 --> 01:02:18.095
No. No. No.
1349
01:02:18.668 --> 01:02:21.933
Fine! Good.
Put your body into it.
1350
01:02:22.539 --> 01:02:23.904
Fine! (GRUNTS)
1351
01:02:24.174 --> 01:02:25.266
That was really good.
1352
01:02:25.375 --> 01:02:26.501
That was so good.
Thanks.
1353
01:02:26.943 --> 01:02:28.672
Hey, check it out.
It's the Waffle House guy.
1354
01:02:30.547 --> 01:02:31.605
SIMON: Oh, yeah.
1355
01:02:32.616 --> 01:02:33.674
Whoa.
1356
01:02:34.751 --> 01:02:37.277
Lyle?
I don't know. Could be.
1357
01:02:37.387 --> 01:02:39.082
I don't know.
Do you think he's...
1358
01:02:39.189 --> 01:02:40.247
I don't know.
1359
01:02:41.391 --> 01:02:42.552
Okay, well,
you should talk to him.
1360
01:02:42.626 --> 01:02:45.186
I'm gonna go get a coffee.
Look, you are fine!
1361
01:02:45.428 --> 01:02:46.589
(MOUTHING) You got this.
1362
01:02:47.464 --> 01:02:48.363
Hi.
1363
01:02:50.066 --> 01:02:52.592
Hey. If it isn't
my favorite waiter.
1364
01:02:52.869 --> 01:02:55.634
Ah, there he is.
The guy who sees everything.
1365
01:02:55.972 --> 01:02:56.939
Yeah.
(CHUCKLES)
1366
01:02:57.474 --> 01:02:59.238
Hey, I wouldn't have taken you
for a homecoming guy.
1367
01:02:59.376 --> 01:03:00.707
Oh, just here for the coffee.
1368
01:03:00.977 --> 01:03:03.139
Of course. Yeah, it's all
about the cappuccinos
1369
01:03:03.246 --> 01:03:04.736
and camaraderie for this guy.
1370
01:03:06.149 --> 01:03:07.981
(CLEARS THROAT)
(LAUGHS)
1371
01:03:10.954 --> 01:03:11.921
I'm glad you're here.
1372
01:03:13.089 --> 01:03:13.954
You are?
1373
01:03:14.791 --> 01:03:15.781
Yeah.
1374
01:03:16.660 --> 01:03:18.287
'Cause I wanted to
ask you something.
1375
01:03:20.163 --> 01:03:21.324
I was gonna ask you
the other day
1376
01:03:21.431 --> 01:03:23.763
and then I was, like,
too chickenshit.
1377
01:03:26.136 --> 01:03:27.160
What's Abby's deal?
1378
01:03:29.572 --> 01:03:30.971
I know you and her
hang out a lot.
1379
01:03:31.074 --> 01:03:32.838
Are the two of you
like a thing, or...
1380
01:03:33.643 --> 01:03:34.735
No.
1381
01:03:35.412 --> 01:03:37.278
No, uh, we're just friends.
1382
01:03:37.681 --> 01:03:39.149
I could never be just friends
with someone that hot.
1383
01:03:39.249 --> 01:03:41.343
Yeah!
Every day is a struggle.
1384
01:03:43.353 --> 01:03:45.788
(SIGHS) I gotta go. I'll see ya.
1385
01:03:49.793 --> 01:03:51.454
MASCOT: Hey! You!
1386
01:03:52.662 --> 01:03:54.790
Little birdie told me
you're into bears!
1387
01:03:55.031 --> 01:03:56.192
(GROWLS)
1388
01:03:56.800 --> 01:03:57.665
(MASCOT LAUGHS)
1389
01:03:58.301 --> 01:03:59.496
Dude! It's me!
1390
01:04:00.036 --> 01:04:00.935
(GRUNTS)
1391
01:04:01.638 --> 01:04:03.128
I'm the Creekwood bear.
1392
01:04:03.873 --> 01:04:05.102
Of course you are.
1393
01:04:05.208 --> 01:04:06.175
Thank you.
1394
01:04:06.609 --> 01:04:07.599
Not a compliment.
1395
01:04:07.677 --> 01:04:09.805
Hey, um... I figured out
my next move with Abby.
1396
01:04:10.280 --> 01:04:11.645
Great, that's good for you,
Martin.
1397
01:04:12.549 --> 01:04:14.449
I just wanted to run it by you
real quick.
1398
01:04:14.651 --> 01:04:16.050
No, Martin, look.
1399
01:04:16.453 --> 01:04:17.784
I've been helping you for weeks
1400
01:04:17.854 --> 01:04:19.219
and I am sick and tired
of helping you
1401
01:04:19.322 --> 01:04:20.312
mess with my friends' lives.
1402
01:04:20.390 --> 01:04:21.551
So why don't you
just do that shit
1403
01:04:21.691 --> 01:04:22.817
that you did at Waffle House?
1404
01:04:23.059 --> 01:04:24.151
That went great.
1405
01:04:24.828 --> 01:04:26.455
So you're saying
I should go for it?
1406
01:04:26.563 --> 01:04:27.621
It's kind of a big gesture.
1407
01:04:27.697 --> 01:04:29.893
Go big or go home!
Right, Martin?
1408
01:04:30.834 --> 01:04:31.892
Go big or go home.
1409
01:04:32.202 --> 01:04:34.398
I like that.
Thanks for the pep talk, man!
1410
01:04:35.405 --> 01:04:36.372
Gotta get amped up.
1411
01:04:37.240 --> 01:04:38.969
(GRUNTS) Come on!
1412
01:04:39.376 --> 01:04:40.241
(CHEERLEADERS WHOOPING)
1413
01:04:40.744 --> 01:04:42.007
(MARCHING BAND PLAYING
"BAD ROMANCE")
1414
01:04:42.145 --> 01:04:44.011
(PLAYERS YELLING)
1415
01:04:45.348 --> 01:04:46.543
MR. WORTH: We're gonna take ya!
1416
01:04:46.716 --> 01:04:48.650
(SINGING TO "BAD ROMANCE")
♪ Claw, claw, claw, claw, claw ♪
1417
01:04:48.718 --> 01:04:50.812
♪ Claw, claw, claw, claw, claw ♪
1418
01:04:55.392 --> 01:04:56.416
AARON: Ethan!
1419
01:04:57.327 --> 01:04:58.726
I didn't know you like football.
1420
01:04:59.229 --> 01:05:00.924
He's just here
to check out the packages.
1421
01:05:01.030 --> 01:05:02.259
Didn't your mother ever tell you
1422
01:05:02.365 --> 01:05:04.424
not to grab your
micropenis in public?
1423
01:05:04.834 --> 01:05:06.928
Could we get some hummus
for that baby carrot?
1424
01:05:07.203 --> 01:05:08.602
(LAUGHS)
Shut up, man.
1425
01:05:13.443 --> 01:05:15.411
SIMON: Hey, guys.
What's up? Hey.
1426
01:05:18.782 --> 01:05:19.681
How was dinner?
1427
01:05:19.849 --> 01:05:20.714
It was good.
1428
01:05:21.451 --> 01:05:23.613
Yeah, uh, we got soup dumplings.
1429
01:05:24.421 --> 01:05:26.287
That dumpling place
I told you about?
1430
01:05:27.223 --> 01:05:28.088
Yeah.
1431
01:05:28.191 --> 01:05:30.023
You know, maybe you could go
with Martin.
1432
01:05:31.761 --> 01:05:33.559
Why would I go with Martin?
(SCOFFS)
1433
01:05:34.230 --> 01:05:37.029
ANNOUNCER: Please stand
for the national anthem.
1434
01:05:41.471 --> 01:05:43.200
This goes out
to all the refugees.
1435
01:05:44.140 --> 01:05:46.131
And my vocal coach,
Monica Lewis.
1436
01:05:46.776 --> 01:05:47.641
MAN: Yeah!
1437
01:05:48.711 --> 01:05:53.615
♪ O say can you see ♪
1438
01:05:54.284 --> 01:05:59.586
♪ By the dawn's early light ♪
1439
01:06:00.123 --> 01:06:01.887
♪ What so proud... ♪
1440
01:06:02.425 --> 01:06:03.756
What the hell are you doing?
1441
01:06:05.462 --> 01:06:06.486
Sorry. Hi.
1442
01:06:06.663 --> 01:06:08.927
Hi, everyone.
Uh, sorry to interrupt.
1443
01:06:08.998 --> 01:06:10.625
Why are we interrupting
the national anthem?
1444
01:06:10.733 --> 01:06:11.996
MARTIN:
But I have something to say...
1445
01:06:12.635 --> 01:06:14.763
that's a little more important
than the national anthem.
1446
01:06:15.972 --> 01:06:17.167
No offense, America.
1447
01:06:19.442 --> 01:06:22.343
Abigail Katherine Susso...
1448
01:06:23.012 --> 01:06:25.140
when you transferred
to Creekwood High School,
1449
01:06:25.682 --> 01:06:27.673
just a short three
and a half months ago,
1450
01:06:29.118 --> 01:06:31.246
you not only transferred
into a new school,
1451
01:06:31.754 --> 01:06:34.485
you transferred your way
into a new heart
1452
01:06:35.325 --> 01:06:37.987
belonging to me.
My heart. Right here.
1453
01:06:38.695 --> 01:06:41.494
And whether It was being
your partner in pong,
1454
01:06:42.131 --> 01:06:43.690
or your Waffle House warrior,
1455
01:06:44.767 --> 01:06:45.962
I have cherished...
1456
01:06:46.536 --> 01:06:51.497
the 135,300 minutes
that we've spent together.
1457
01:06:52.141 --> 01:06:53.165
Oh, I'm sorry.
1458
01:06:53.943 --> 01:06:58.005
135,301 minutes.
1459
01:06:58.548 --> 01:07:01.779
And I know that you're
this smart, talented
1460
01:07:02.352 --> 01:07:03.547
perfect creature.
1461
01:07:04.654 --> 01:07:09.854
And, uh, I'm just a sweaty
schlub in a bear costume.
1462
01:07:10.793 --> 01:07:12.352
But like old Bogie used to say,
1463
01:07:13.496 --> 01:07:14.861
it's a "crazy mixed-up world."
1464
01:07:15.965 --> 01:07:17.126
So, Abby,
1465
01:07:17.800 --> 01:07:18.995
without further ado...
1466
01:07:21.337 --> 01:07:22.361
will you go out with me?
1467
01:07:23.907 --> 01:07:26.035
She's too hot for you, assface!
1468
01:07:27.010 --> 01:07:29.069
Excuse me. Sorry.
1469
01:07:32.482 --> 01:07:34.041
Just say yes. Say yes.
1470
01:07:34.250 --> 01:07:35.149
ABBY: Martin...
1471
01:07:36.352 --> 01:07:38.047
I am so sorry.
1472
01:07:39.155 --> 01:07:40.884
I don't feel that way about you.
1473
01:07:42.892 --> 01:07:43.859
You don't?
1474
01:07:45.762 --> 01:07:46.661
No.
1475
01:07:47.263 --> 01:07:48.856
But I really like
hanging out with you
1476
01:07:48.932 --> 01:07:52.926
and I don't know, maybe we could
still be friends, you know?
1477
01:07:53.536 --> 01:07:54.503
Yeah, uh...
1478
01:07:56.439 --> 01:07:57.565
Are those doves?
1479
01:08:01.344 --> 01:08:02.709
(CROWD GASPS)
1480
01:08:03.046 --> 01:08:04.878
No, no, hey, hey! Suraj!
1481
01:08:05.081 --> 01:08:07.345
Hey! No, no!
She said no! No, don't.
1482
01:08:08.351 --> 01:08:10.251
(CROWD LAUGHING)
1483
01:08:15.892 --> 01:08:17.451
Yo, I thought you said
she liked him.
1484
01:08:17.927 --> 01:08:22.194
Not the ceremonious
dove launch I was hoping for.
1485
01:08:22.532 --> 01:08:25.558
But still uplifting to free
some birds.
1486
01:08:26.069 --> 01:08:26.934
Yeah.
1487
01:08:27.737 --> 01:08:28.863
Okay, uh...
1488
01:08:30.139 --> 01:08:31.106
Enjoy' the game.
1489
01:08:33.276 --> 01:08:35.301
Nice try, Martin!
And way to go, Martin!
1490
01:08:35.411 --> 01:08:37.311
You gave it a shot! Right?
1491
01:08:37.747 --> 01:08:39.272
(ALL CHEERING)
1492
01:08:48.725 --> 01:08:49.715
That was terrible.
1493
01:08:50.793 --> 01:08:52.921
Don't worry, people will gel
over it in a few weeks.
1494
01:08:58.968 --> 01:09:00.094
(GLASS SHATTERING)
1495
01:09:02.338 --> 01:09:03.271
(BEAR GROWLS)
1496
01:09:13.916 --> 01:09:15.179
MARTIN (IMITATING TRUMP):
This is Donald J. Trump.
1497
01:09:15.318 --> 01:09:17.309
Martin Addison can'! Come
to the phone right now.
1498
01:09:17.420 --> 01:09:20.082
Hey, Martin, it's Simon. Again.
1499
01:09:20.289 --> 01:09:23.520
Um, look, I wanna make sure
you're doing all right.
1500
01:09:23.626 --> 01:09:25.287
I know it's been tough
since, uh...
1501
01:09:26.429 --> 01:09:29.194
Well, you know since when.
Um, listen. Just...
1502
01:09:30.199 --> 01:09:31.598
Just give me a call back, okay?
1503
01:09:31.768 --> 01:09:32.997
I just wanna make
sure you're okay.
1504
01:09:34.137 --> 01:09:35.127
- (KNOCKING ON WINDOW)
- (YELPS)
1505
01:09:35.338 --> 01:09:38.103
Hey! What you doin' in there?
1506
01:09:38.207 --> 01:09:39.106
Really?
1507
01:09:39.275 --> 01:09:41.334
I need you to help me decorate.
Untangle these for me, will ya?
1508
01:09:41.477 --> 01:09:42.967
This is not cool. I'll be down
in a minute, okay?
1509
01:09:43.046 --> 01:09:44.946
- What's not cool?
- I'll be down in a minute.
1510
01:09:45.014 --> 01:09:47.039
The fact that you're on
a ladder next to my room!
1511
01:09:47.150 --> 01:09:48.447
I can still clearly see you.
1512
01:09:49.052 --> 01:09:52.852
All right, there you go.
Okay. Merry Christmas.
1513
01:09:53.523 --> 01:09:54.490
(COMPUTER CHIMES)
1514
01:09:58.728 --> 01:09:59.854
BLUE: Jacques,
1515
01:09:59.962 --> 01:10:01.555
I'm drinking eggnog and packing
to go to my dad's cabin
1516
01:10:01.664 --> 01:10:02.563
on Lake Rabun.
1517
01:10:02.732 --> 01:10:04.996
I'm pretty sure there's a photo
of it on the Wikipedia page
1518
01:10:05.134 --> 01:10:06.295
for "middle of nowhere."
1519
01:10:06.903 --> 01:10:08.166
Middle of nowhere.
1520
01:10:08.871 --> 01:10:10.532
I'm going to an unheated
vacation house
1521
01:10:10.673 --> 01:10:11.731
in the middle of nowhere.
1522
01:10:13.076 --> 01:10:14.373
Oh, shit.
1523
01:10:14.977 --> 01:10:17.344
BLUE: There's barely electricity
and definitely no cell service
1524
01:10:17.680 --> 01:10:20.012
so this will be my last email
for a while.
1525
01:10:20.650 --> 01:10:22.311
It should be a real
rite of passage.
1526
01:10:22.518 --> 01:10:24.316
A dad and his gay son
pretending they like
1527
01:10:24.387 --> 01:10:26.481
to fish and trying to find
things to talk about.
1528
01:10:26.723 --> 01:10:28.088
It's gonna to be
an excruciating two weeks
1529
01:10:28.224 --> 01:10:30.215
without you, Jacques.
Love, Blue.
1530
01:10:30.693 --> 01:10:32.320
SIMON: Sounds like you're
gonna need some good music.
1531
01:10:32.395 --> 01:10:34.329
So I'm sending a list
of the seven best
1532
01:10:34.497 --> 01:10:36.329
Christmas songs of all time.
1533
01:10:36.733 --> 01:10:38.167
Of course it includes
David Howie's
1534
01:10:38.234 --> 01:10:39.167
"Little Drummer Boy,"
1535
01:10:39.235 --> 01:10:40.828
and Smokey Robinson
& The Miracles'
1536
01:10:40.903 --> 01:10:41.870
"Christmas Everyday,"
1537
01:10:42.071 --> 01:10:43.539
but the number one song
you're gonna need,
1538
01:10:43.740 --> 01:10:46.004
and trust me, I know this sounds
a little bit twee...
1539
01:10:46.676 --> 01:10:48.166
("SOMEDAY AT CHRISTMAS" PLAYING)
1540
01:11:43.766 --> 01:11:46.258
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
1541
01:11:49.338 --> 01:11:51.067
- Si, have you seen it?
- Hey.
1542
01:11:51.741 --> 01:11:52.606
Seen what?
1543
01:11:53.142 --> 01:11:54.007
CreekSecrets.
1544
01:11:55.178 --> 01:11:56.805
You need lo look
at your computer right away.
1545
01:11:59.949 --> 01:12:01.917
MARTIN: Dear fellow
Creekwood students,
1546
01:12:02.118 --> 01:12:04.519
Simon Spier
has a secret male pen pal.
1547
01:12:04.754 --> 01:12:05.949
Because he's gay.
1548
01:12:06.355 --> 01:12:08.619
Interested parties
may contact him directly
1549
01:12:08.691 --> 01:12:10.625
to discuss arrangements
for butt sex.
1550
01:12:10.993 --> 01:12:12.791
Ladies need not apply.
1551
01:12:13.429 --> 01:12:15.454
We should all probably be
talking about this
1552
01:12:15.531 --> 01:12:17.590
instead of Martin Addison's
homecoming debacle
1553
01:12:18.100 --> 01:12:19.795
which was actually
kind of sweet,
1554
01:12:20.102 --> 01:12:21.695
and romantic,
if you think about it.
1555
01:12:22.471 --> 01:12:24.337
Sincerely, Anonymous.
1556
01:12:30.880 --> 01:12:33.212
LEAH: Si, have you read it?
1557
01:12:33.549 --> 01:12:34.641
SIMON: I can't talk right now.
1558
01:12:34.717 --> 01:12:36.310
- LEAH: No. Si, wait!
- I gotta go.
1559
01:12:37.453 --> 01:12:38.318
Si?
1560
01:12:38.888 --> 01:12:39.787
I saw it.
1561
01:12:40.690 --> 01:12:43.182
I already reported it.
They're gonna take it down.
1562
01:12:43.292 --> 01:12:44.350
It's too late.
1563
01:12:44.460 --> 01:12:46.155
No, there's people
who've already seen it, so...
1564
01:12:46.529 --> 01:12:47.621
it doesn't really matter.
1565
01:12:49.632 --> 01:12:50.497
It's true.
1566
01:12:52.535 --> 01:12:54.629
I'm... I'm gay.
1567
01:12:55.638 --> 01:12:56.503
Oh...
1568
01:12:57.206 --> 01:12:58.469
So what are you gonna do?
1569
01:12:59.809 --> 01:13:00.674
I don't know.
1570
01:13:01.310 --> 01:13:02.243
You could deny it.
1571
01:13:03.079 --> 01:13:04.877
Why the hell would
I deny it, Nora?
1572
01:13:05.047 --> 01:13:06.208
I'm not ashamed of it.
1573
01:13:06.682 --> 01:13:08.673
You've just never really
said anything.
1574
01:13:08.918 --> 01:13:09.817
So what?
1575
01:13:09.886 --> 01:13:11.217
What does that have
to do with anything?
1576
01:13:11.320 --> 01:13:12.412
What the hell are
you talking about?
1577
01:13:12.655 --> 01:13:13.747
(SOBBING) Sorry.
1578
01:13:20.029 --> 01:13:21.895
SIMON: I know you're going
off the grid and you won't see
1579
01:13:21.998 --> 01:13:23.523
this until you're back,
but something's happened.
1580
01:13:24.200 --> 01:13:25.827
You're gonna find out who I am.
1581
01:13:26.369 --> 01:13:27.928
And someone posted our emails.
1582
01:13:28.204 --> 01:13:30.730
Please don't freak out.
Please, Blue.
1583
01:13:31.173 --> 01:13:33.005
I need you to promise me
you won'! Disappear.
1584
01:13:35.211 --> 01:13:36.269
(COMPUTER CHIMING)
1585
01:13:41.284 --> 01:13:42.581
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
- (EXHALES)
1586
01:14:08.945 --> 01:14:10.310
NORA: Let me open my present.
1587
01:14:10.780 --> 01:14:12.942
EMILY: Honey, I'm trying to
tell you you need to shave.
1588
01:14:14.116 --> 01:14:15.606
JACK: Does that mean
you're gonna keep cooking?
1589
01:14:15.718 --> 01:14:17.413
NORA: Yeah, of course. I can
make dinner tonight, too.
1590
01:14:17.486 --> 01:14:18.385
- JACK: Awesome.
- What's this for?
1591
01:14:18.621 --> 01:14:19.486
Oh!
1592
01:14:19.889 --> 01:14:21.721
This one, Sherlock.
There you go.
1593
01:14:27.229 --> 01:14:28.219
NORA: What is it?
1594
01:14:29.665 --> 01:14:31.099
Bluetooth headphones.
1595
01:14:31.167 --> 01:14:32.760
Do you like the black?
Oh, I love it.
1596
01:14:32.935 --> 01:14:34.266
EMILY: Because I didn't
know if you liked...
1597
01:14:34.337 --> 01:14:35.236
This is great.
1598
01:14:35.304 --> 01:14:36.499
They have other colors.
He said he likes it.
1599
01:14:36.605 --> 01:14:38.095
SIMON: No, I love it.
Okay. I have the receipt.
1600
01:14:38.240 --> 01:14:39.264
JACK: He's good.
1601
01:14:45.581 --> 01:14:48.573
Actually, I did want to talk
to you guys about something.
1602
01:14:49.952 --> 01:14:50.817
What is it?
1603
01:14:52.955 --> 01:14:54.184
Uh, well...
1604
01:14:54.323 --> 01:14:55.290
JACK: Let me guess...
1605
01:14:57.026 --> 01:14:58.187
you got somebody pregnant.
1606
01:14:59.628 --> 01:15:00.595
No, you're pregnant.
1607
01:15:01.130 --> 01:15:03.622
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm pregnant.
- JACK (CHUCKLES): I knew it.
1608
01:15:03.699 --> 01:15:04.757
He's got that glow about him,
baby.
1609
01:15:04.834 --> 01:15:06.700
- EMILY: Honey.
- No. Uh...
1610
01:15:12.842 --> 01:15:13.866
I'm gay.
1611
01:15:16.278 --> 01:15:17.143
Honey.
1612
01:15:20.149 --> 01:15:22.311
And I don't want you guys to
think anything different.
1613
01:15:23.019 --> 01:15:23.952
I'm still me.
1614
01:15:24.120 --> 01:15:25.212
Of course you are.
1615
01:15:25.321 --> 01:15:26.686
Oh, Simon.
Yeah.
1616
01:15:27.623 --> 01:15:28.818
So you're gay?
1617
01:15:29.792 --> 01:15:31.385
Which one of your
old girlfriends turned ya?
1618
01:15:31.494 --> 01:15:33.223
Was it the one
with the big eyebrow...
1619
01:15:33.329 --> 01:15:34.387
- Jack.
- NORA: Jesus Christ.
1620
01:15:34.497 --> 01:15:35.862
Dad, can you ever
shut the hell up?
1621
01:15:35.965 --> 01:15:36.830
I'm kidding.
1622
01:15:36.899 --> 01:15:38.196
- It's not funny.
- I'm kidding, Nora.
1623
01:15:38.300 --> 01:15:39.961
Just open up your gift. Please.
1624
01:15:45.374 --> 01:15:46.500
EMILY: It's okay, honey.
1625
01:15:46.709 --> 01:15:48.006
- Nora, I got you this.
- NORA: Simon.
1626
01:15:48.077 --> 01:15:49.340
- That's for you.
- No, that's for you.
1627
01:15:49.412 --> 01:15:50.675
That's from me.
1628
01:15:55.718 --> 01:15:56.810
It's a Cuisinart.
1629
01:15:58.254 --> 01:15:59.847
I love it. Thank you, Simon.
1630
01:16:03.859 --> 01:16:06.521
SIMON: Dear Blue,
happy New Year.
1631
01:16:06.695 --> 01:16:07.992
I haven't heard from you,
1632
01:16:08.064 --> 01:16:10.362
so I'm going to assume It's
because you have no service.
1633
01:16:11.100 --> 01:16:13.194
I came out to my entire family
on Christmas.
1634
01:16:13.836 --> 01:16:14.826
It didn't go great.
1635
01:16:15.204 --> 01:16:17.229
And I've been avoiding
my friends the whole break
1636
01:16:17.440 --> 01:16:19.033
for all sorts of reasons.
1637
01:16:19.775 --> 01:16:21.243
Change is exhausting.
1638
01:16:21.710 --> 01:16:22.939
I feel like there's
nowhere to hide
1639
01:16:23.079 --> 01:16:24.774
from all the newness
of everything.
1640
01:16:25.214 --> 01:16:26.613
Except here. With you.
1641
01:16:27.116 --> 01:16:28.345
Please write to me.
1642
01:16:28.717 --> 01:16:31.049
As soon as you get
even one bar of service.
1643
01:16:32.288 --> 01:16:33.255
Breakfast burrito?
1644
01:16:34.123 --> 01:16:35.022
Thanks.
1645
01:16:35.391 --> 01:16:36.358
EMILY: Hey, Si.
1646
01:16:38.694 --> 01:16:39.627
Come sit down.
1647
01:16:42.364 --> 01:16:43.388
I'm gonna be late.
1648
01:16:59.115 --> 01:17:00.082
(SIGHS)
1649
01:17:15.097 --> 01:17:15.962
Hey. Guys.
1650
01:17:16.665 --> 01:17:17.894
Hey, Simon, we need to talk.
1651
01:17:18.901 --> 01:17:21.632
So Abby and I hung out
on New Year's Eve, and...
1652
01:17:22.738 --> 01:17:23.830
you see, now we're together.
1653
01:17:24.006 --> 01:17:26.338
- That's awesome. That's great.
- NICK: Yeah, it is.
1654
01:17:27.910 --> 01:17:30.072
But then we got to talking
about why it took so long.
1655
01:17:30.846 --> 01:17:32.109
ABBY: Why did you tell Nick
that I have
1656
01:17:32.281 --> 01:17:33.578
a boyfriend in college
named Jonathan?
1657
01:17:33.649 --> 01:17:34.616
Why'd you make that up?
1658
01:17:34.850 --> 01:17:35.749
Look, Martin...
1659
01:17:35.951 --> 01:17:38.648
he was the one who wrote
that Creek-Secrets post about me.
1660
01:17:39.188 --> 01:17:40.849
He screenshotted my emails
1661
01:17:40.990 --> 01:17:43.652
and he's been using them
to blackmail me for months.
1662
01:17:44.360 --> 01:17:46.089
What does that have to do
with us, Simon?
1663
01:17:46.929 --> 01:17:48.988
He told me that if I didn't
help him get with Abby,
1664
01:17:49.131 --> 01:17:50.462
he'd out me.
1665
01:17:53.035 --> 01:17:54.093
And I...
1666
01:17:54.970 --> 01:17:56.529
That's why I had to
keep you guys apart.
1667
01:17:56.805 --> 01:17:58.204
So you made up a bunch of lies.
1668
01:17:59.608 --> 01:18:01.702
And that's why you convinced me
to go on that date with Leah?
1669
01:18:02.378 --> 01:18:03.846
You know, to keep me away
from Abby?
1670
01:18:04.046 --> 01:18:06.037
So, wait. Running lines
at Waffle House
1671
01:18:06.148 --> 01:18:07.775
and beer pong at Bram's,
1672
01:18:07.983 --> 01:18:10.145
all of that was just to
pawn me off on Martin?
1673
01:18:10.986 --> 01:18:12.511
I'm not a piece of meat, Simon.
1674
01:18:13.556 --> 01:18:15.456
You know how hard it was
for me to start over.
1675
01:18:17.793 --> 01:18:18.851
I trusted you.
1676
01:18:19.528 --> 01:18:20.620
(SIGHS)
1677
01:18:23.399 --> 01:18:24.867
Hey, come on, Leah.
I'll take you to school.
1678
01:18:31.307 --> 01:18:34.004
Leah. Leah, please.
Listen, listen.
1679
01:18:34.176 --> 01:18:35.507
I know I messed up, okay?
1680
01:18:35.578 --> 01:18:36.875
But I knew you were
in love with Nick.
1681
01:18:36.979 --> 01:18:38.674
And I thought that maybe...
Just stop it!
1682
01:18:39.882 --> 01:18:41.680
You know what? You are
insanely stupid, Simon.
1683
01:18:41.750 --> 01:18:44.742
I was never in love with Nick.
I was in love with you!
1684
01:18:46.322 --> 01:18:47.187
(GASPS)
1685
01:18:48.224 --> 01:18:49.089
But...
1686
01:18:50.426 --> 01:18:52.155
We're... We're us.
1687
01:18:52.394 --> 01:18:53.520
Yeah, well...
1688
01:18:54.163 --> 01:18:55.892
(SIGHS) Sorry.
1689
01:18:58.500 --> 01:18:59.831
I've been trying to tell you.
1690
01:19:01.604 --> 01:19:05.370
That night I slept over,
I was trying to tell you.
1691
01:19:08.177 --> 01:19:09.872
You wanna know
the funniest part?
1692
01:19:10.879 --> 01:19:13.075
It's that all these years, you
being so picky with girls,
1693
01:19:13.182 --> 01:19:17.244
I thought that maybe it was
because you might like me, too.
1694
01:19:18.020 --> 01:19:20.352
And then, you know, you told me
I should go out with Nick
1695
01:19:20.556 --> 01:19:22.422
and I realized you were just
never gonna see me that way.
1696
01:19:23.959 --> 01:19:26.053
I can deal with you
being gay, Si.
1697
01:19:27.062 --> 01:19:28.723
But you set me up
to get my heart broken
1698
01:19:28.797 --> 01:19:30.128
when you thought
I was in love with Nick
1699
01:19:30.266 --> 01:19:31.563
and that just makes you cruel.
1700
01:19:37.640 --> 01:19:39.904
- (CAR ENGINE STARTS)
- (SIMON SIGHS)
1701
01:19:46.115 --> 01:19:49.574
(STUDENTS MURMURING)
1702
01:20:01.497 --> 01:20:02.396
You all right?
1703
01:20:02.564 --> 01:20:03.429
Hanging in there.
1704
01:20:04.433 --> 01:20:06.401
Uh, for the record,
1705
01:20:06.468 --> 01:20:09.233
when I was saying that we have
a lot in common, you know,
1706
01:20:09.305 --> 01:20:11.137
I wasn't really... That's not
what I was talking about.
1707
01:20:11.740 --> 01:20:12.605
Gotcha.
1708
01:20:13.242 --> 01:20:14.471
Just FYI, just for the record.
1709
01:20:14.576 --> 01:20:15.805
SIMON: Okay, great. Thanks.
All right.
1710
01:20:26.522 --> 01:20:27.751
Hey, Jackie.
1711
01:20:28.123 --> 01:20:30.490
Did you date me because you
think I look like a guy?
1712
01:20:31.427 --> 01:20:33.657
No. No, I actually
broke up with you
1713
01:20:33.762 --> 01:20:35.161
because you don't look
like a guy.
1714
01:20:35.664 --> 01:20:38.861
Oh. Oh, okay. Thanks.
1715
01:20:39.468 --> 01:20:40.333
Welcome.
1716
01:20:42.171 --> 01:20:43.434
What did he say?
1717
01:20:52.281 --> 01:20:53.476
(SIGHS)
1718
01:20:53.682 --> 01:20:55.377
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING ON PHONE)
1719
01:20:55.617 --> 01:20:57.016
Yeah! Hey, Creekwood!
1720
01:20:59.655 --> 01:21:01.020
This one's for you, Spier.
1721
01:21:02.858 --> 01:21:03.882
Hey, Ethan.
1722
01:21:04.526 --> 01:21:05.721
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah.
1723
01:21:10.132 --> 01:21:11.793
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
1724
01:21:11.867 --> 01:21:13.631
You like that, don't you, Spier?
1725
01:21:14.636 --> 01:21:15.501
Yeah.
1726
01:21:15.704 --> 01:21:17.638
Oh, yeah, Ethan, Simon likey.
1727
01:21:18.073 --> 01:21:20.735
(AARON AND SPENCER MOANING)
1728
01:21:22.378 --> 01:21:23.868
You have something
you wanna say to me?
1729
01:21:25.314 --> 01:21:26.645
I said do you have something
to say to me?
1730
01:21:26.749 --> 01:21:27.841
(TURNS OFF MUSIC)
1731
01:21:27.916 --> 01:21:28.815
I'll take it from here.
1732
01:21:28.984 --> 01:21:29.849
Hey, Ms. Albright.
1733
01:21:30.152 --> 01:21:31.210
Don't "Hey, Ms. Albright" me.
1734
01:21:31.420 --> 01:21:33.081
We're not friends. You're not
gonna braid my hair
1735
01:21:33.255 --> 01:21:34.188
or paint my nails.
1736
01:21:34.256 --> 01:21:35.655
Get your ass off the table now!
1737
01:21:35.924 --> 01:21:38.325
You sweaty, hormonal virgins.
1738
01:21:38.727 --> 01:21:40.593
You know what? You're about to
be suspended for so long,
1739
01:21:40.929 --> 01:21:42.419
that by the time it's over,
you're gonna be
1740
01:21:42.698 --> 01:21:45.167
the fat, bald, unhappily married
1741
01:21:45.234 --> 01:21:48.226
wildly mediocre nobodies
you're destined to become.
1742
01:21:48.437 --> 01:21:49.768
You can't talk to us like that.
1743
01:21:50.072 --> 01:21:51.665
Actually, I can,
'cause I just did.
1744
01:21:51.874 --> 01:21:53.501
And you know why?
Because you're just those two
1745
01:21:53.575 --> 01:21:54.940
assholes that did
that shitty thing
1746
01:21:55.177 --> 01:21:57.771
in front of the whole school.
And guess what?
1747
01:21:58.247 --> 01:22:01.182
Nobody feels sorry for those
assholes, especially me.
1748
01:22:01.850 --> 01:22:03.944
Now, walk.
Mr. 'North's office now.
1749
01:22:04.052 --> 01:22:04.917
Bye.
1750
01:22:05.888 --> 01:22:07.117
Uh-uh. That's mine now.
1751
01:22:07.689 --> 01:22:09.851
I'mma sell it.
Get my tubes tied.
1752
01:22:10.559 --> 01:22:12.755
(SCATTERED LAUGHTER AND CHATTER)
1753
01:22:23.472 --> 01:22:25.463
(INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION)
1754
01:22:26.442 --> 01:22:28.467
Why does Mr. Worth
have to talk to us?
1755
01:22:29.645 --> 01:22:31.135
I mean, can't we just
let this shit go?
1756
01:22:34.917 --> 01:22:36.112
Hey, I'm sorry, Ethan.
1757
01:22:38.654 --> 01:22:40.986
None of this ever happened
when just you were out.
1758
01:22:42.891 --> 01:22:44.723
You know what they say,
one gay's a snooze,
1759
01:22:44.793 --> 01:22:46.318
two's a hilarious hate crime.
1760
01:22:51.800 --> 01:22:53.393
You could've told me
you were gay.
1761
01:22:56.138 --> 01:22:57.663
I guess I didn't think
we had very much in common.
1762
01:22:57.940 --> 01:22:59.931
(SCOFFS)
You're telling me, Simon.
1763
01:23:00.008 --> 01:23:01.476
It's not like your
all-hoodie wardrobe
1764
01:23:01.577 --> 01:23:02.738
rocks my world.
1765
01:23:03.145 --> 01:23:04.135
(SIMON CHUCKLES)
1766
01:23:09.251 --> 01:23:10.116
I don't know.
1767
01:23:10.919 --> 01:23:12.080
Maybe I was jealous.
1768
01:23:13.455 --> 01:23:14.786
You've been out
since you were 16.
1769
01:23:17.426 --> 01:23:19.087
It always seemed
so easy for you.
1770
01:23:19.361 --> 01:23:20.260
Easy?
1771
01:23:20.996 --> 01:23:22.191
Are you kidding me?
1772
01:23:25.133 --> 01:23:26.965
My mom still tells
my grandparents
1773
01:23:27.035 --> 01:23:28.434
about all the girls I'm dating
1774
01:23:28.504 --> 01:23:31.269
when we go over to their house
for dinner, every Sunday.
1775
01:23:32.374 --> 01:23:34.638
She says it's 'cause
they're old and religious,
1776
01:23:35.277 --> 01:23:36.642
and it's just easier that way.
1777
01:23:38.280 --> 01:23:39.475
I don't know, maybe that's true.
1778
01:23:40.716 --> 01:23:43.310
But you should hear her voice
when she talks about the girls.
1779
01:23:49.057 --> 01:23:50.786
All right, boys, come on in.
1780
01:23:51.660 --> 01:23:52.718
Come on.
1781
01:23:54.296 --> 01:23:55.525
All right,
just stand right here.
1782
01:23:55.864 --> 01:23:56.729
(SPEAKS FRENCH)
1783
01:23:58.233 --> 01:23:59.132
Get up.
1784
01:24:02.704 --> 01:24:04.138
Okay, these gentlemen
have something
1785
01:24:04.206 --> 01:24:05.469
that they would
like to say to you.
1786
01:24:05.807 --> 01:24:07.241
We're sorry.
Our bad.
1787
01:24:07.476 --> 01:24:09.205
That's right.
'Cause at Creekwood High,
1788
01:24:09.311 --> 01:24:10.210
what do we believe in?
1789
01:24:10.379 --> 01:24:11.403
BOTH: Tolerance.
1790
01:24:11.847 --> 01:24:14.009
And "tolerance" means we respect
1791
01:24:14.082 --> 01:24:15.811
Simon and Ethan's choice
to be boyfriends.
1792
01:24:15.884 --> 01:24:17.511
- We are not boyfriends.
- Yeah. No.
1793
01:24:17.886 --> 01:24:20.583
Hey, whatever you wanna call it,
it's fine with me. Seriously.
1794
01:24:20.722 --> 01:24:22.816
We call it "two people
1795
01:24:22.891 --> 01:24:24.586
that are not at all
romantically involved."
1796
01:24:24.693 --> 01:24:25.990
Yeah, I get it.
Keepin' it casual, man.
1797
01:24:26.061 --> 01:24:27.222
I can dig, seriously.
1798
01:24:29.231 --> 01:24:31.996
Oh. Simon. Hey, can we talk?
1799
01:24:32.501 --> 01:24:33.866
I don't have anything
to say to you.
1800
01:24:33.936 --> 01:24:35.426
Please, please.
I just wanted to say
1801
01:24:35.537 --> 01:24:36.504
that I was sorry, okay?
1802
01:24:36.572 --> 01:24:38.199
I didn't know or think
1803
01:24:38.340 --> 01:24:39.603
that people still
did shit like that.
1804
01:24:39.775 --> 01:24:41.504
And I got in a lot of shit
for Homecoming,
1805
01:24:41.577 --> 01:24:43.875
and I wanted everyone to focus
on something else, you know?
1806
01:24:43.946 --> 01:24:45.436
I just didn't think
it was gonna be a big (hing.
1807
01:24:45.581 --> 01:24:47.208
I don't care if you didn't
think that my coming out
1808
01:24:47.282 --> 01:24:48.772
was gonna be
a big thing, Martin.
1809
01:24:50.218 --> 01:24:51.413
Look, you don't get to
decide that.
1810
01:24:51.787 --> 01:24:53.881
I'm supposed to be the one
that decides when
1811
01:24:54.022 --> 01:24:56.957
and where, and how and who knows
and how I get to say it.
1812
01:24:57.059 --> 01:24:58.458
That's supposed to be my thing!
1813
01:24:58.594 --> 01:25:00.084
And you took that away from me.
1814
01:25:01.563 --> 01:25:03.930
So, look, can you please just
get the fuck away from me?
1815
01:25:13.275 --> 01:25:14.140
(SIGHS)
1816
01:25:17.479 --> 01:25:18.605
(SIGHS)
1817
01:25:26.989 --> 01:25:27.888
(COMPUTER CHIMES)
1818
01:25:36.164 --> 01:25:38.997
BLUE: I saw the posts.
M' know who you are.
1819
01:25:40.002 --> 01:25:40.901
Jacques a Dit.
1820
01:25:41.236 --> 01:25:43.102
That's what they cal!
Simon Says In France.
1821
01:25:43.572 --> 01:25:44.505
Very clever.
1822
01:25:45.107 --> 01:25:47.576
I'm sorry, Simon.
I can'! Do this anymore.
1823
01:25:47.643 --> 01:25:49.441
- SIMON: Please, Blue.
- BLUE: I'm so sorry.
1824
01:25:49.778 --> 01:25:52.304
SIMON: You can't leave me alone.
Everything's falling apart.
1825
01:25:54.983 --> 01:25:56.178
(TAKES DEEP BREATH)
1826
01:26:22.544 --> 01:26:23.705
(SOBBING)
1827
01:26:44.633 --> 01:26:45.862
I mean, I haven't
even talked to her.
1828
01:26:45.967 --> 01:26:47.162
I haven't even
seen her at school.
1829
01:26:49.538 --> 01:26:51.165
Anyway, I guess
I'll see you in class, right?
1830
01:26:51.306 --> 01:26:52.364
- GIRL: Yeah, totally.
- CAL: Okay.
1831
01:26:52.474 --> 01:26:53.566
Later.
1832
01:26:54.543 --> 01:26:55.476
Hey.
1833
01:26:55.677 --> 01:26:56.701
Hey, Simon.
1834
01:26:59.347 --> 01:27:00.212
Is it you?
1835
01:27:02.384 --> 01:27:03.249
Are you Blue?
1836
01:27:04.486 --> 01:27:07.683
No. No, it's not me. Sorry.
1837
01:27:11.393 --> 01:27:12.861
I know you've had
a crazy couple days.
1838
01:27:12.928 --> 01:27:13.895
You wanna talk about it?
1839
01:27:14.362 --> 01:27:16.490
No, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have asked.
1840
01:27:16.832 --> 01:27:18.493
No, don't worry.
Sorry for bothering you.
1841
01:27:38.420 --> 01:27:39.387
(DOOR CLOSES)
1842
01:27:59.608 --> 01:28:00.700
Did you know?
1843
01:28:06.448 --> 01:28:08.075
I knew you had a secret.
1844
01:28:13.421 --> 01:28:15.822
I mean, when you were little,
you were so carefree.
1845
01:28:17.425 --> 01:28:21.453
But these last few years,
more and more...
1846
01:28:23.298 --> 01:28:25.790
It's almost like I could
feel you holding your breath.
1847
01:28:33.742 --> 01:28:35.403
I wanted to ask you
about it, but I...
1848
01:28:36.511 --> 01:28:38.070
didn't wanna pry.
1849
01:28:41.349 --> 01:28:44.751
Maybe I made a mistake.
No. No, Mom, you...
1850
01:28:46.588 --> 01:28:47.919
You didn't make a mistake.
1851
01:28:52.427 --> 01:28:54.452
EMILY: Being gay is your (hing.
1852
01:28:55.463 --> 01:28:58.330
There are parts of it
you have to go through alone.
1853
01:28:58.834 --> 01:28:59.801
I hate that.
1854
01:29:01.436 --> 01:29:04.201
As soon as you came out,
you said, "Mom, I'm still me."
1855
01:29:08.143 --> 01:29:09.440
I need you to hear this.
1856
01:29:11.847 --> 01:29:14.316
You are still you, Simon.
1857
01:29:16.718 --> 01:29:21.451
And you are still the same son
who I love to tease,
1858
01:29:22.557 --> 01:29:25.686
and who your father depends on
for just about everything.
1859
01:29:26.661 --> 01:29:28.026
And you're the same brother
1860
01:29:28.396 --> 01:29:31.127
who always compliments
his sister on her food,
1861
01:29:31.199 --> 01:29:33.133
even when it sucks.
1862
01:29:36.905 --> 01:29:39.067
But you get to exhale now,
Simon.
1863
01:29:41.343 --> 01:29:44.540
You get to be more you
than you have been...
1864
01:29:46.915 --> 01:29:48.542
in a very long time.
1865
01:29:56.057 --> 01:29:57.855
You deserve everything you want.
1866
01:30:12.741 --> 01:30:13.765
My boy.
1867
01:30:30.625 --> 01:30:32.115
Hey, Leah.
1868
01:30:32.560 --> 01:30:33.721
Hey.
What's up?
1869
01:30:33.929 --> 01:30:34.919
What are you doing?
1870
01:30:35.897 --> 01:30:37.296
Just going for a run, you know.
1871
01:30:38.233 --> 01:30:39.291
Daily ritual.
1872
01:30:39.401 --> 01:30:40.459
Yeah, you've never done that.
1873
01:30:41.403 --> 01:30:42.268
Have, too.
1874
01:30:42.904 --> 01:30:44.099
But you're wearing jeans.
1875
01:30:45.807 --> 01:30:46.740
They're my running jeans.
1876
01:30:46.808 --> 01:30:48.469
Simon, you're about to pass out.
1877
01:30:49.477 --> 01:30:51.104
(PANTING) Okay, fine.
I'm not going for a run.
1878
01:30:52.280 --> 01:30:53.907
Hey, Leah. Please, listen.
1879
01:30:53.982 --> 01:30:55.279
Look, I know, okay?
1880
01:30:55.417 --> 01:30:56.885
You didn't want anyone
to know you're gay.
1881
01:30:56.952 --> 01:30:58.442
No, that wasn't just it.
1882
01:31:02.090 --> 01:31:03.285
I fell in love with someone.
1883
01:31:04.960 --> 01:31:06.257
That guy in the emails...
1884
01:31:08.263 --> 01:31:09.128
I love him.
1885
01:31:10.465 --> 01:31:12.729
And I knew that if Martin
leaked our emails,
1886
01:31:12.801 --> 01:31:13.791
it'd scare him off.
1887
01:31:15.103 --> 01:31:15.968
I'm sorry.
1888
01:31:18.940 --> 01:31:20.305
I know what I did was messed up.
1889
01:31:24.245 --> 01:31:25.110
You're my best friend.
1890
01:31:25.447 --> 01:31:26.414
If I'm your best friend,
1891
01:31:26.481 --> 01:31:28.245
then why did you come out
to Abby and not me?
1892
01:31:31.286 --> 01:31:32.310
Think it was easier.
1893
01:31:34.189 --> 01:31:35.748
I've known Abby for six months,
1894
01:31:36.458 --> 01:31:39.291
and I've known you for 13 years.
1895
01:31:41.696 --> 01:31:42.959
And I knew that if I told you,
1896
01:31:43.031 --> 01:31:44.795
that everything
was gonna be different.
1897
01:31:46.968 --> 01:31:48.834
I really wanted things
to stay the same.
1898
01:31:53.608 --> 01:31:55.133
Tell me about this guy you love.
1899
01:31:59.180 --> 01:32:00.773
- You sure?
- Yeah.
1900
01:32:01.649 --> 01:32:03.640
It'll help me kill off
Hetero Simon in my mind.
1901
01:32:04.386 --> 01:32:06.855
You don't have to kill him off.
He's dead, Si.
1902
01:32:07.355 --> 01:32:09.323
Hacking him up with
a mental machete as we speak.
1903
01:32:10.558 --> 01:32:11.684
(CHUCKLES)
1904
01:32:12.160 --> 01:32:13.958
All right. Fair enough.
1905
01:32:16.865 --> 01:32:18.230
So, I call him Blue.
1906
01:32:28.710 --> 01:32:29.734
Hey, Si.
1907
01:32:31.813 --> 01:32:32.837
Yeah?
1908
01:32:38.486 --> 01:32:39.419
(SIGHS)
1909
01:32:43.591 --> 01:32:44.752
How long have you known?
1910
01:32:47.362 --> 01:32:50.889
Like, I really started to get it
when I was around...
1911
01:32:53.201 --> 01:32:54.066
thirteen?
1912
01:32:54.502 --> 01:32:56.061
Four years? Four years of...
1913
01:32:57.839 --> 01:32:58.829
eating dinner together,
1914
01:32:58.907 --> 01:33:00.432
four years of
going to movies together.
1915
01:33:00.708 --> 01:33:03.405
Four years of
walking Bieber together.
1916
01:33:05.713 --> 01:33:06.771
I'm sorry.
1917
01:33:07.882 --> 01:33:08.940
I shouldn't have missed it.
1918
01:33:09.517 --> 01:33:11.110
No. Hey, no, Dad.
1919
01:33:11.419 --> 01:33:12.614
All those stupid jokes...
1920
01:33:13.521 --> 01:33:14.682
Well, I know
you didn't mean 'em.
1921
01:33:14.789 --> 01:33:16.382
It doesn't matter.
I shouldn't have missed it.
1922
01:33:20.261 --> 01:33:21.387
But...
1923
01:33:22.063 --> 01:33:24.122
in case the message
got lost somewhere I just...
1924
01:33:25.967 --> 01:33:27.765
I just want you to know
that I love you.
1925
01:33:29.971 --> 01:33:31.439
(CRYING) And I'm really
proud of you.
1926
01:33:33.041 --> 01:33:35.032
I wouldn't change anything
about you.
1927
01:33:38.213 --> 01:33:39.442
Hey. Shit, Dad.
1928
01:33:42.317 --> 01:33:43.216
Hey, stop crying.
1929
01:33:43.618 --> 01:33:45.382
I'm trying. I'm trying.
1930
01:33:46.621 --> 01:33:47.645
Oh, God.
1931
01:33:50.158 --> 01:33:51.057
Come here.
1932
01:34:01.102 --> 01:34:02.501
How's that video for Mom coming?
1933
01:34:02.937 --> 01:34:04.132
Good.
Good, good.
1934
01:34:04.272 --> 01:34:05.296
Good.
1935
01:34:07.842 --> 01:34:08.900
You don't know how to export it,
1936
01:34:09.077 --> 01:34:10.169
do you?
Can you help me with that
1937
01:34:10.311 --> 01:34:11.301
- please?
- Yeah.
1938
01:34:11.813 --> 01:34:12.678
Okay.
Let's go.
1939
01:34:13.281 --> 01:34:14.305
Hey.
1940
01:34:15.150 --> 01:34:17.244
I thought maybe we could
sign up for Grindr together.
1941
01:34:18.586 --> 01:34:20.020
You don't know
what Grindr is, do you?
1942
01:34:21.189 --> 01:34:22.918
It's Facebook for gay people.
1943
01:34:23.691 --> 01:34:24.681
Not what it is.
1944
01:34:28.329 --> 01:34:29.922
Ladies and gentlemen,
I present to you
1945
01:34:29.998 --> 01:34:31.329
20 years of bliss.
1946
01:34:33.001 --> 01:34:35.993
(VIDEO PLAYING)
1947
01:34:40.341 --> 01:34:41.706
EMILY: Did you guys do this?
1948
01:34:43.011 --> 01:34:44.376
Simon and I did it, yeah.
1949
01:34:45.547 --> 01:34:47.037
I just helped.
It was mostly me.
1950
01:34:47.382 --> 01:34:48.645
EMILY (LAUGHS): Yeah, right.
1951
01:34:52.987 --> 01:34:54.216
Really? Really?
1952
01:34:56.191 --> 01:34:57.659
EMILY: I can't believe
you did this.
1953
01:34:58.626 --> 01:35:00.458
I panicked
and bought you a watch.
1954
01:35:01.029 --> 01:35:02.019
That's okay.
1955
01:35:02.397 --> 01:35:04.627
You can give me somethin' later
that I can't get in the store.
1956
01:35:04.999 --> 01:35:06.228
That's really gross.
1957
01:35:06.501 --> 01:35:08.230
Oh, guys, just look.
Sorry, just pay attention.
1958
01:35:08.403 --> 01:35:10.167
Just look at baby Bieber!
1959
01:35:10.305 --> 01:35:11.397
NORA: He was so cute!
1960
01:35:11.906 --> 01:35:13.067
EMILY: Just look at our baby!
1961
01:35:17.178 --> 01:35:18.976
SIMON: Dear students
of Creekwood High School,
1962
01:35:19.647 --> 01:35:22.207
As anyone with a half-decent
data plan already knows,
1963
01:35:22.884 --> 01:35:24.852
a recent post
on this very website
1964
01:35:25.019 --> 01:35:26.316
declared that I was gay.
1965
01:35:27.055 --> 01:35:28.523
The delivery left something
to be desired,
1966
01:35:28.656 --> 01:35:29.885
but the message is true.
1967
01:35:30.692 --> 01:35:32.683
I am... gay.
1968
01:35:33.361 --> 01:35:36.194
For a long time, I was killing
myself to hide that fact.
1969
01:35:37.198 --> 01:35:38.427
I had all these reasons.
1970
01:35:38.533 --> 01:35:40.695
It was unfair that only
gay people had to come out.
1971
01:35:40.768 --> 01:35:42.236
I was sick of change.
1972
01:35:42.537 --> 01:35:43.902
Bu! The truth is
I was just scared.
1973
01:35:44.005 --> 01:35:45.063
COACH: Come on, Garrett.
Let's go!
1974
01:35:45.173 --> 01:35:46.766
SIMON: At first I thought
it was just a gay thing.
1975
01:35:47.108 --> 01:35:48.872
But then I realized,
no matter what,
1976
01:35:49.043 --> 01:35:50.670
announcing who you are
to the world
1977
01:35:50.745 --> 01:35:51.871
is pretty terrifying
1978
01:35:52.113 --> 01:35:54.514
because what if the world
doesn't like you?
1979
01:35:55.116 --> 01:35:57.551
So, I did whatever I could
to keep my secret.
1980
01:35:58.253 --> 01:36:00.722
I hurt the best,
most important people.
1981
01:36:00.922 --> 01:36:02.583
And I want them to know
that I'm sorry.
1982
01:36:03.191 --> 01:36:04.716
I am done being scared.
1983
01:36:05.293 --> 01:36:06.590
I'm done living in a world
1984
01:36:06.761 --> 01:36:08.354
where I don't get
to be who I am.
1985
01:36:08.596 --> 01:36:10.564
I deserve a great love story.
1986
01:36:10.798 --> 01:36:13.233
Disclaimer, this is about
to get romantic as eff,
1987
01:36:13.601 --> 01:36:15.626
so anyone adverse to
gratuitous feelings
1988
01:36:15.737 --> 01:36:17.603
kindly click over
to the BuzzFeed quiz
1989
01:36:17.705 --> 01:36:19.730
or resume the porn
you paused to read this.
1990
01:36:19.874 --> 01:36:21.069
Did you even use the ladder?
1991
01:36:21.142 --> 01:36:22.803
SIMON:
This guy that I love once wrote
1992
01:36:22.910 --> 01:36:25.038
that he felt like he was stuck
on a Ferris wheel.
1993
01:36:25.747 --> 01:36:26.976
On top of the world one minute,
1994
01:36:27.382 --> 01:36:28.611
at rock bottom the next.
1995
01:36:29.384 --> 01:36:30.408
That's how I feel now.
1996
01:36:32.153 --> 01:36:34.281
I couldn't ask
for more amazing friends,
1997
01:36:34.756 --> 01:36:36.224
a more understanding family.
1998
01:36:36.291 --> 01:36:38.225
But it would all
be so much better
1999
01:36:38.293 --> 01:36:39.624
if I had someone
to share it with.
2000
01:36:42.630 --> 01:36:43.495
So, Blue...
2001
01:36:44.432 --> 01:36:46.628
I might not know your name
or what you look like,
2002
01:36:48.169 --> 01:36:49.227
But I know who you are.
2003
01:36:50.638 --> 01:36:52.231
I know you're funny
and thoughtful.
2004
01:36:52.907 --> 01:36:54.238
That you choose
your words carefully
2005
01:36:54.342 --> 01:36:55.776
and that they're always perfect.
2006
01:36:56.744 --> 01:36:59.179
And I know that you've been
pretending for so long
2007
01:36:59.280 --> 01:37:00.748
it's hard to believe
you can stop.
2008
01:37:01.482 --> 01:37:02.347
I get it.
2009
01:37:03.418 --> 01:37:05.079
Like I told you
at the very beginning,
2010
01:37:05.753 --> 01:37:06.618
I'm just like you.
2011
01:37:06.688 --> 01:37:08.588
- GIRLS: Hi, Simon.
- SIMON: What's up?
2012
01:37:08.856 --> 01:37:09.755
SIMON: So, Blue...
2013
01:37:10.491 --> 01:37:13.586
after the play, Friday at 10:00,
you know where I'll be.
2014
01:37:14.762 --> 01:37:17.094
No pressure for you to
show up, bu! I hope you do.
2015
01:37:18.032 --> 01:37:19.932
Because you deserve
a great love story too'
2016
01:37:20.802 --> 01:37:22.930
Love, Simon.
2017
01:37:34.215 --> 01:37:36.047
♪ Willkommen ♪
2018
01:37:36.217 --> 01:37:37.878
♪ Bienvenue ♪
2019
01:37:38.152 --> 01:37:43.852
♪ Welcome im cabaret ♪
2020
01:37:44.792 --> 01:37:46.123
♪ Au cabaret ♪
2021
01:37:47.195 --> 01:37:54.124
♪ To cabaret ♪
2022
01:37:58.673 --> 01:38:00.505
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
2023
01:38:05.246 --> 01:38:06.714
(ALL GASPING)
2024
01:38:07.482 --> 01:38:10.008
Okay. They're not
paying me enough for this.
2025
01:38:12.086 --> 01:38:13.645
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
2026
01:38:18.359 --> 01:38:19.349
- ABBY: Hi
- LEAH: Oh, my God.
2027
01:38:19.427 --> 01:38:20.485
- Oh, my God!
- You were amazing.
2028
01:38:20.561 --> 01:38:21.494
I'm not even kidding.
2029
01:38:21.596 --> 01:38:23.030
You were, like, insane.
Thank you!
2030
01:38:23.097 --> 01:38:24.656
What's up?
Baby!
2031
01:38:24.766 --> 01:38:25.733
(LAUGHING)
2032
01:38:29.036 --> 01:38:30.060
ABBY: Yeah. Yeah.
2033
01:38:34.609 --> 01:38:35.508
(CLEARS THROAT)
2034
01:38:36.010 --> 01:38:37.500
Hey, Simon.
Hey.
2035
01:38:40.915 --> 01:38:42.781
Do you wanna go to
the carnival with us tonight?
2036
01:38:48.089 --> 01:38:48.954
Yes.
2037
01:38:49.257 --> 01:38:50.281
- Yeah?
- SIMON: Yeah!
2038
01:38:50.391 --> 01:38:51.256
LEAH: Yay!
2039
01:38:51.459 --> 01:38:52.620
Get in here, Leah!
2040
01:38:53.194 --> 01:38:54.252
LEAH (GRUNTS): The love!
2041
01:38:54.762 --> 01:38:55.729
Thank you.
2042
01:39:15.116 --> 01:39:16.242
- We'll be right here.
- Yeah.
2043
01:39:16.317 --> 01:39:17.785
Go get him.
All right.
2044
01:39:17.952 --> 01:39:19.442
Yes!
Woo! Yeah!
2045
01:39:19.554 --> 01:39:20.453
Go, Simon!
2046
01:39:20.555 --> 01:39:22.250
Spier, Spier, Spier!
Woo!
2047
01:39:23.257 --> 01:39:24.554
That should last a while.
2048
01:39:28.329 --> 01:39:29.319
GIRL: Oh, my God, look.
2049
01:39:29.564 --> 01:39:31.225
I bet he's waiting
for the other gay kid.
2050
01:39:31.432 --> 01:39:32.957
Where's Dana?
She'll love this.
2051
01:39:34.936 --> 01:39:37.064
ABBY: You got this, buddy.
Proud of you.
2052
01:39:37.138 --> 01:39:38.401
(STUDENTS CHEERING)
2053
01:39:38.940 --> 01:39:40.271
Yeah, buddy!
Yeah!
2054
01:39:40.341 --> 01:39:41.433
You got it! Woo!
2055
01:39:41.576 --> 01:39:42.566
ABBY: This is it.
2056
01:39:47.281 --> 01:39:48.146
ALL: Yeah!
2057
01:39:48.749 --> 01:39:49.739
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
2058
01:39:55.189 --> 01:39:56.486
We love you, Simon!
2059
01:39:57.458 --> 01:39:59.153
(ALL CHEERING)
2060
01:40:01.295 --> 01:40:03.161
Yo. Can you just...
Come on, no.
2061
01:40:08.669 --> 01:40:10.103
(ALL WHOOPING)
2062
01:40:24.986 --> 01:40:26.454
MAN: Go, Simon!
2063
01:40:31.726 --> 01:40:34.320
Okay. That's your
last ride ticket, buddy.
2064
01:40:36.564 --> 01:40:37.793
MARTIN: Wait. Wait!
2065
01:40:41.736 --> 01:40:43.568
Simon, it's me.
2066
01:40:45.506 --> 01:40:47.565
I'm Blue. I love you.
2067
01:40:49.043 --> 01:40:49.976
No, you're not.
2068
01:40:50.211 --> 01:40:51.906
No, I'm not. I just...
2069
01:40:53.014 --> 01:40:55.142
This is so brutal.
2070
01:40:57.051 --> 01:40:58.576
Here. I'll tell you what.
2071
01:40:59.053 --> 01:41:01.681
I got a couple...
How much is it?
2072
01:41:02.390 --> 01:41:05.223
It's four tickets, four bucks.
Perfect. Okay. There you go.
2073
01:41:05.359 --> 01:41:06.224
Last one's on me.
2074
01:41:07.929 --> 01:41:08.828
Got it.
2075
01:41:10.731 --> 01:41:12.699
Last call for the Ferris wheel!
2076
01:41:15.269 --> 01:41:17.601
Oh, no, I can't watch.
I can't watch this, babe. No.
2077
01:41:18.272 --> 01:41:19.364
This is awful.
2078
01:41:19.874 --> 01:41:21.501
Okay, Dora.
Wait, wait.
2079
01:41:23.411 --> 01:41:24.401
Can I sit there?
2080
01:41:25.446 --> 01:41:26.880
I was kind of waiting
for somebody.
2081
01:41:28.416 --> 01:41:29.281
Yeah, I know.
2082
01:41:34.388 --> 01:41:35.412
It's Bram!
2083
01:41:41.729 --> 01:41:42.594
It's you.
2084
01:41:44.432 --> 01:41:45.297
It's me.
2085
01:41:48.736 --> 01:41:50.204
But that night at the party...
2086
01:41:50.438 --> 01:41:53.271
Yeah.
I was drunk and confused.
2087
01:41:53.374 --> 01:41:55.809
And it ended, like,
a minute after you saw us.
2088
01:41:59.380 --> 01:42:00.245
And you're Jewish.
2089
01:42:01.148 --> 01:42:02.047
Yeah.
2090
01:42:03.117 --> 01:42:04.050
Which is cool.
2091
01:42:04.218 --> 01:42:05.117
(LAUGHS)
2092
01:42:05.219 --> 01:42:06.380
And I'm black, too.
2093
01:42:07.622 --> 01:42:08.714
And gay.
2094
01:42:10.224 --> 01:42:11.214
It's kind of crazy, huh?
2095
01:42:11.492 --> 01:42:12.459
I didn't think you'd come.
2096
01:42:13.794 --> 01:42:14.659
Me neither.
2097
01:42:15.096 --> 01:42:18.293
Until I was walking towards you,
I didn't think I had it in me.
2098
01:42:26.807 --> 01:42:28.571
(ALL MURMURING)
2099
01:42:39.353 --> 01:42:40.843
Are you disappointed
that it's me?
2100
01:42:44.792 --> 01:42:45.657
No.
2101
01:42:49.363 --> 01:42:52.663
(ALL CHEERING)
2102
01:43:26.333 --> 01:43:27.960
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
2103
01:43:32.306 --> 01:43:33.171
Hey.
2104
01:43:33.240 --> 01:43:34.332
LEAH: Have you seen
CreekSecrets?
2105
01:43:34.475 --> 01:43:36.876
There are six new confessions,
ail signed.
2106
01:43:37.545 --> 01:43:38.410
Listen to this.
2107
01:43:39.213 --> 01:43:41.477
'My parents didn't come
and see me in Cabaret.
2108
01:43:41.716 --> 01:43:43.411
They hate that I wanna be
an actor.
2109
01:43:43.517 --> 01:43:45.884
I don't know if they'll ever
be proud of me.
2110
01:43:46.253 --> 01:43:47.345
Taylor Metternich."
2111
01:43:47.755 --> 01:43:48.654
Wow.
2112
01:43:49.423 --> 01:43:50.652
You're a trendsetter, Spier.
2113
01:43:51.692 --> 01:43:53.524
Now, come on, get In the car.
We need to go.
2114
01:44:03.938 --> 01:44:05.531
- Good morning!
- Ah, there he is!
2115
01:44:05.773 --> 01:44:07.400
- Morning, Simon.
- Top of the morning, kid.
2116
01:44:07.708 --> 01:44:08.573
What's this?
2117
01:44:09.076 --> 01:44:10.874
- Nora's specialty.
- Mm, coconut?
2118
01:44:10.945 --> 01:44:12.242
- Yeah.
- You look good.
2119
01:44:12.713 --> 01:44:14.112
- Have a good day, honey.
- You too.
2120
01:44:14.215 --> 01:44:15.614
- Is it good?
- It's delicious.
2121
01:44:15.916 --> 01:44:17.543
I'll see you guys.
What, you're not gonna eat?
2122
01:44:17.718 --> 01:44:18.583
Bye, Simon.
2123
01:44:18.686 --> 01:44:22.281
("WILD HEART" PLAYING)
2124
01:44:31.899 --> 01:44:33.060
- Mornin'.
- Hey, buddy.
2125
01:44:41.909 --> 01:44:42.774
- Good morning.
- Hey!
2126
01:44:42.943 --> 01:44:43.910
How you doin', Leah?
2127
01:44:43.978 --> 01:44:45.309
Pretty good. Pretty good.
2128
01:44:56.924 --> 01:44:57.823
Hey!
2129
01:45:05.299 --> 01:45:06.164
Hey.
2130
01:45:10.738 --> 01:45:11.967
- Morning.
- Morning.
2131
01:45:15.576 --> 01:45:16.600
Everybody in?
2132
01:45:16.677 --> 01:45:17.576
- Yes.
- Oh, yeah.
2133
01:45:17.645 --> 01:45:18.840
All right, it's too beautiful
a day,
2134
01:45:18.979 --> 01:45:20.947
so I think I'm gonna actually
take us on a little adventure.
2135
01:45:21.415 --> 01:45:22.576
- Yes!
- Woo!
2136
01:45:22.650 --> 01:45:24.015
That's exactly what I need!
2137
01:45:24.118 --> 01:45:25.085
NICK: Yeah, adventure!
2138
01:47:47.928 --> 01:47:54.891
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)