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WEBVTT
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<b><font color="#DF01D7">(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
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<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>Black.</i>
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<i>All important movies start
with a black screen.</i>
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<i>And music.</i>
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<i>Edgy, scary music</i>
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<i>that would make
a parent or studio executive nervous.</i>
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<i>And logos.</i>
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<i>Really long and dramatic logos.</i>
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<i>Warner Bros.</i>
10
00:00:35.286 --> 00:00:37.826
<i>Why not "Warner Brothers"?
I don't know.</i>
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<b><font color="#DF01D7">(THUNDER RUMBLING)</font></b>
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<i>DC.</i>
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<i>The house that Batman built.</i>
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00:00:47.507 --> 00:00:49.797
<i>Yeah, what, Superman?</i>
15
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<i>Come at me, bro.</i>
16
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<i>I'm your Kryptonite.</i>
17
00:01:00.603 --> 00:01:01.603
<i>Hmm.</i>
18
00:01:01.771 --> 00:01:05.321
<i>Not sure what RatPac does,
but that logo is macho.</i>
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<i>I dig it.</i>
20
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<i>Okay.</i>
21
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<i>Get yourself ready for some</i>
22
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<i>reading.</i>
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<i>"If you want to make the world
a better place"</i>
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<i>"take a look at yourself
and make a change."</i>
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<i>"Hooo."</i>
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<i>No. I said that.</i>
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<i>Batman is very wise.</i>
28
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<i>I also have huge pecs
and a nine-pack.</i>
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<i>Yeah, I've got an extra ab.</i>
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<i>Now, let's start the movie.</i>
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<b><font color="#404040">BILL: </font></b><i>Gotham Tower,
this is McGuffin Airlines, Flight 1138.</i>
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<i>We are transporting
11 million sticks of dynamite,</i>
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<i>17,000 pounds of C-4,</i>
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<i>about 150 cute little
classic bomb-type bombs,</i>
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and two best friends!
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<i>And request permission to fly over
the most crime-ridden city in the world.</i>
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<i>Over.</i>
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I'm just looking at all the guys' faces
here in the control tower.
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- I'm good.
- Sounds good to me.
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- Do it!
- Yeah, as long as they're best friends.
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- Thumbs up!
- Yep, I think we're cool with that.
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<b><font color="#DF01D7">(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
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<b><font color="#404040">LEAD CRIMINAL: </font></b><i>Gentlemen,</i>
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<i>seal breach in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!</i>
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What was that?
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- One of us should check it out.
- Okay.
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<b><font color="#404040">BOTH:</font></b> Scissors, paper, rock.
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- Paper.
- Scissors.
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Ha! You always do paper.
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I'm a loser at home
and a loser at work.
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Holy cow!
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<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SCREAMS)</font></b>
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<b><font color="#DF01D7">(MUZAK PLAYING)</font></b>
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Captain Dale, is everything okay?
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<b><font color="#404040">LEAD CRIMINAL: </font></b><i>I am afraid
Captain Dale had to bail.</i>
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<i>I'm your new co-pilot.</i>
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And I always come to work
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with a smile!
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- You should be terrified.
- Why?
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Because I will be taking over the city.
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Mmm...
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- What?
- Batman will stop you.
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- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(BLOWS RASPBERRY)</font></b>
- He always stops you.
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No, he doesn't.
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What about that time with the two boats?
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This is better than the two boats.
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- Mmm...
- Well, tonight is gonna be different!
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<i>Tonight is my greatest plan yet.</i>
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<i>And trust me,
Batman's never gonna see it coming.</i>
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<b><font color="#404040">BILL: </font></b><i>Like that time with the parade
and the Prince music?</i>
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<b><font color="#404040">JOKER: </font></b><i>Hey, quiet!</i>
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- Good night, Steve.
- Take it easy, Jeff.
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Man, I really like that guy.
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I sure hope nothing bad happens to him.
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<b><font color="#DF01D7">(JEFF WHISTLING)</font></b>
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<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SINGING)</font></b>
<i>Nothing bad ever happens to me</i>
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<i>What the...</i>
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<b><font color="#404040">JOKER: </font></b><i>Your city is under attack</i>
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<i>by Gotham's greatest criminal minds.</i>
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<i>Including</i>
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<i>- The Riddler.</i>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHING)</font></b>
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<i>Scarecrow.</i>
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Pizza delivery.
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<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GROANS)</font></b>
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<i>- Bane.</i>
- Hello.
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<i>Two-Face!</i>
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We need that door open, baby!
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<i>Catwoman.</i>
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Meow, meow. You're in! Meow, meow.
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SECURITY <b><font color="#404040">GUARD:</font></b>
I'm jumping out of the way!
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<b><font color="#DF01D7">(HONKING)</font></b>
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<b><font color="#404040">JOKER: </font></b><i>And let's not forget, Clayface.</i>
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<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ROARING)</font></b>
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<b><font color="#DF01D7">(IMITATING GUNS FIRING)</font></b>
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<i>- Poison Ivy.</i>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(IMITATES GUNS FIRING)</font></b>
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- Freeze!
- <b><font color="#404040">MR. FREEZE: </font></b><i>No!</i>
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You freeze!
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<b><font color="#404040">JOKER: </font></b><i>Mr. Freeze!</i>
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<i>Penguin, Crazy Quilt, Eraser.</i>
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<i>Polka-Dot Man, Mime, Tarantula.</i>
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<i>King Tut, Orca, Killer Moth,</i>
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<i>March Harriet, Zodiac Master,
Gentleman Ghost.</i>
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<i>Clock King, Calendar Man, Kite-Man,
Catman, Zebra-Man, and the Condiment King.</i>
104
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Okay, are you making some of those up?
105
00:04:48.665 --> 00:04:50.115
Nope, they're all real.
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Probably worth a Google.
107
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- Hey, watch it!
- Commissioner Gordon!
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What is it, O'Hara?
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We just got a report!
110
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All the Z-grade villains have
broken into the energy plant!
111
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What are we gonna do, sir?
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The only thing we ever do.
Flip the switch to the Bat-Signal!
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Flip!
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<b><font color="#404040">OFFICER: </font><font color="#DF01D7">(ON RADIO)</font></b>
<i>Commissioner, are you there?</i>
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00:05:07.183 --> 00:05:08.893
The Bat-Signal, she's been egged!
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- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GIGGLING)</font></b>
- <b><font color="#404040">O'HARA: </font></b><i>It's Egghead, sir.</i>
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I'm well aware of his work.
118
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Dear gosh.
You've destroyed the Bat-Signal.
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You have thought of everything.
120
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Yeah, I know!
121
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<i>And when I take over Gotham City...</i>
122
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<b><font color="#404040">ENERGY PLANT COMPUTER:</font></b>
<i>Opening reactor core doors.</i>
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<b><font color="#404040">JOKER:</font></b><i>...Batman will grovel at the feet</i>
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<i>of his greatest enemy!</i>
125
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Me! The Joker!
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<b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHS)</font></b>
127
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Joker, do you read me?
128
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10-4, girl buddy.
129
00:05:34.585 --> 00:05:35.875
<i>We're ready for you, sugar plum.</i>
130
00:05:36.045 --> 00:05:38.415
Well, then, let's raise the roof!
131
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<b><font color="#404040">BANE:</font></b> Fire in the hole!
132
00:05:46.180 --> 00:05:47.770
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SIRENS WAILING)</font></b>
133
00:05:48.683 --> 00:05:50.163
O'Hara, have you tried the Bat-Phone?
134
00:05:50.268 --> 00:05:52.598
Yes, but all I'm getting
is this hold music.
135
00:05:52.770 --> 00:05:54.360
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
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I love it.
137
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<b><font color="#DF01D7">(TIRES SCREECHING)</font></b>
138
00:05:58.901 --> 00:06:00.879
- I want snipers trained on that building!
- You bet!
139
00:06:00.903 --> 00:06:03.063
- I want water and air support, yesterday!
- Ahoy, sir!
140
00:06:03.197 --> 00:06:04.617
And I need SWAT here now!
141
00:06:04.782 --> 00:06:05.926
<b><font color="#404040">OFFICER:</font></b> Phone call
for Commissioner Gordon.
142
00:06:05.950 --> 00:06:06.950
Hello? Batman?
143
00:06:07.118 --> 00:06:09.658
Hi, Jimmy! It's the Jokes. Oop!
144
00:06:09.829 --> 00:06:11.209
Nobody calls you that.
145
00:06:11.414 --> 00:06:13.214
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SCOFFS)</font></b> Yes, people do call me that.
146
00:06:13.374 --> 00:06:14.384
Okay, listen up.
147
00:06:14.542 --> 00:06:15.882
<b><font color="#404040">ALL:</font></b> Go, go, go!
148
00:06:16.044 --> 00:06:19.634
<b><font color="#404040">JOKER: </font></b><i>At this very moment,
an unnecessarily complicated bomb</i>
149
00:06:19.797 --> 00:06:23.887
<i>is being attached
to the inside of the main energy core.</i>
150
00:06:24.052 --> 00:06:27.722
If the mayor isn't here in five minutes
to negotiate the city's surrender,
151
00:06:27.889 --> 00:06:31.599
<i>then I shall destroy Gotham City.</i>
152
00:06:31.768 --> 00:06:33.188
I did something!
153
00:06:33.352 --> 00:06:35.942
<b><font color="#404040">PIPPA: </font></b><i>Doctor, that sounds frightening
and overly complicated.</i>
154
00:06:36.105 --> 00:06:37.105
<i>Talk us through it.</i>
155
00:06:37.398 --> 00:06:40.938
<i>Well, I don't wanna scare
any small children who may be listening,</i>
156
00:06:41.110 --> 00:06:42.870
<i>but it's a little-known fact
that Gotham City</i>
157
00:06:42.987 --> 00:06:46.317
<i>is built on a bunch of flimsy plates
stuck together.</i>
158
00:06:46.491 --> 00:06:48.741
<i>There's literally nothing beneath us,</i>
159
00:06:48.910 --> 00:06:52.160
<i>except an infinite abyss
that smells like dirty underwear.</i>
160
00:06:52.330 --> 00:06:54.250
<i>If Joker's bomb were to go off,</i>
161
00:06:54.415 --> 00:06:56.325
<i>these plates would break apart,</i>
162
00:06:56.501 --> 00:06:58.131
<i>plunging every Gotham citizen</i>
163
00:06:58.294 --> 00:07:00.844
<i>into the eternal abyss forever.</i>
164
00:07:01.005 --> 00:07:02.816
<b><font color="#404040">JOKER: </font></b><i>And you wouldn't want that,
now would you?</i>
165
00:07:02.840 --> 00:07:05.590
Now get me the mayor! Joker out!
166
00:07:05.760 --> 00:07:08.470
Madam Mayor,
I cannot ask you to do this!
167
00:07:08.638 --> 00:07:11.178
- Jim, did you find Batman?
- No, ma'am.
168
00:07:11.349 --> 00:07:12.849
Then we have no choice.
169
00:07:13.017 --> 00:07:17.357
The Joker has the upper hand.
We have to surrender Gotham City.
170
00:07:17.522 --> 00:07:18.822
<b><font color="#404040">GORDON:</font></b> Oh, no.
171
00:07:18.981 --> 00:07:20.731
I'm sorry!
172
00:07:21.651 --> 00:07:23.441
<b><font color="#404040">PILOT: </font></b><i>Flying the mayor
package in right now.</i>
173
00:07:23.611 --> 00:07:25.781
<b><font color="#404040">SWAT LEADER: </font></b><i>SWAT team,
get your stun guns ready!</i>
174
00:07:25.947 --> 00:07:27.367
- Non-lethal.
- <b><font color="#404040">BOTH:</font></b> Yeah!
175
00:07:27.532 --> 00:07:29.582
<b><font color="#404040">PILOT: </font></b><i>Lowering
mayor package through hole.</i>
176
00:07:30.701 --> 00:07:32.201
<b><font color="#404040">JOKER:</font></b> Madam Mayor!
177
00:07:32.370 --> 00:07:33.750
Thanks for dropping by.
178
00:07:34.247 --> 00:07:37.207
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SCOFFS)</font></b> I've only got one thing
to say to you, Joker.
179
00:07:37.375 --> 00:07:39.165
Well, you better make it fast.
180
00:07:39.335 --> 00:07:40.375
Do you like to gamble?
181
00:07:40.545 --> 00:07:41.625
Oh, I certainly do.
182
00:07:41.796 --> 00:07:43.546
Do you ever play roulette?
183
00:07:43.714 --> 00:07:44.764
On occasion.
184
00:07:44.924 --> 00:07:46.634
Well, let me give you a word of advice.
185
00:07:46.801 --> 00:07:47.801
I'm all ears.
186
00:07:47.969 --> 00:07:49.219
When playing roulette...
187
00:07:49.387 --> 00:07:50.507
Yes?
188
00:07:51.222 --> 00:07:53.182
...always bet on black.
189
00:07:53.349 --> 00:07:54.349
Batman?
190
00:07:54.517 --> 00:07:56.887
What are you doing?
You're completely outnumbered here!
191
00:07:57.061 --> 00:07:58.231
Are you nuts?
192
00:07:58.396 --> 00:07:59.976
You wanna get nuts? Come on!
193
00:08:00.148 --> 00:08:02.228
<i>Let's get nuts!</i>
194
00:08:02.483 --> 00:08:05.123
'Cause I just wrote a song
about how I'm gonna kick all your butts!
195
00:08:05.486 --> 00:08:07.656
Stop him before he starts singing!
196
00:08:07.822 --> 00:08:08.992
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
197
00:08:09.157 --> 00:08:12.237
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SINGING)</font></b> <i>Yeah!</i>
198
00:08:12.618 --> 00:08:14.578
<i>In the darkest night</i>
199
00:08:15.454 --> 00:08:17.624
<i>I make the bad guys fall</i>
200
00:08:18.374 --> 00:08:19.424
<i>There's a million heroes</i>
201
00:08:20.084 --> 00:08:21.634
Computer, overcompensate.
202
00:08:21.794 --> 00:08:22.914
<i>But I'm the best of them all</i>
203
00:08:23.045 --> 00:08:24.085
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>I'm on my way, sir.</i>
204
00:08:24.338 --> 00:08:27.088
<i>- Who has the coolest gadgets?
- Batman!</i>
205
00:08:27.425 --> 00:08:30.385
<i>- Who has the tricked-out ride?
- Batman!</i>
206
00:08:30.553 --> 00:08:33.353
<i>- Who does the sickest backflips?
- Batman!</i>
207
00:08:33.723 --> 00:08:36.183
<i>Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na
Batman!</i>
208
00:08:36.350 --> 00:08:39.020
<i>Yeah, hey, hey!
Batman jam!</i>
209
00:08:39.478 --> 00:08:41.228
<i>Da-Na, da-Na, da-Na, da-Na</i>
210
00:08:41.439 --> 00:08:42.479
<i>Batman!</i>
211
00:08:42.648 --> 00:08:43.808
<i>You think my muscles are big?</i>
212
00:08:43.941 --> 00:08:44.941
Thank you.
213
00:08:45.401 --> 00:08:46.861
<i>You haven't seen my brain</i>
214
00:08:47.862 --> 00:08:50.202
<i>Ladies, it's okay if you stare</i>
215
00:08:50.364 --> 00:08:51.374
<i>Why?</i>
216
00:08:51.532 --> 00:08:54.242
<i>'Cause I'm a billionaire</i>
217
00:08:54.410 --> 00:08:55.540
Get it together, guys!
218
00:08:55.745 --> 00:08:57.505
You're making me look bad
in front of Batman!
219
00:08:57.914 --> 00:08:58.964
'Puter, where's the bomb?
220
00:08:59.123 --> 00:09:02.003
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>The bomb is located
at the base of the energy core.</i>
221
00:09:02.919 --> 00:09:03.959
What the...
222
00:09:04.128 --> 00:09:06.088
<i>I get the last laugh
I get the final grin</i>
223
00:09:06.422 --> 00:09:09.512
<i>Throw you into the asylum
With Harley Quinn</i>
224
00:09:09.675 --> 00:09:12.465
<i>Turn Two-Face
To black-and-blue face</i>
225
00:09:12.720 --> 00:09:15.510
<i>I 100% am not Bruce Wayne!</i>
226
00:09:16.015 --> 00:09:17.725
Kiss me, Batman.
227
00:09:18.476 --> 00:09:20.226
<i>- Who's the manliest man?</i>
- Ugh!
228
00:09:20.394 --> 00:09:21.484
<i>Batman!</i>
229
00:09:21.646 --> 00:09:23.266
<i>- With the buns of steel?
- Batman!</i>
230
00:09:23.439 --> 00:09:24.439
'Puter.
231
00:09:24.649 --> 00:09:27.239
<i>- Who could choke-hold a bear?
- Batman!</i>
232
00:09:27.401 --> 00:09:30.111
<i>- Who never skips leg day?
- Batman!</i>
233
00:09:30.446 --> 00:09:31.986
<i>Who always pays their taxes?</i>
234
00:09:32.156 --> 00:09:33.316
<i>Not Batman</i>
235
00:09:34.492 --> 00:09:37.122
How is he beating all of you again?
236
00:09:37.578 --> 00:09:39.158
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GROANS)</font></b>
- Because...
237
00:09:39.330 --> 00:09:40.410
<i>Hey, hey, hey, hey!</i>
238
00:09:40.581 --> 00:09:41.921
<i>I'm Batman!</i>
239
00:09:42.083 --> 00:09:43.383
It's gonna blow!
240
00:09:43.542 --> 00:09:45.132
<i>I'm Batman!</i>
241
00:09:45.294 --> 00:09:46.344
<i>Hey, hey, hey, hey!</i>
242
00:09:46.504 --> 00:09:48.424
<i>I'm Batman!</i>
243
00:09:49.423 --> 00:09:53.303
Hi, Batman!
So weird to keep running into you.
244
00:09:57.473 --> 00:09:58.813
<i>Batman!</i>
245
00:09:59.392 --> 00:10:01.192
Looks like your plan failed.
246
00:10:01.352 --> 00:10:05.312
Well, it's only a matter of time
before I take over Gotham City.
247
00:10:10.152 --> 00:10:13.112
When has that ever happened?
Computer!
248
00:10:13.281 --> 00:10:16.031
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>Calculating. Never.</i>
249
00:10:16.367 --> 00:10:17.407
- You know why?
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(YELPS)</font></b>
250
00:10:17.576 --> 00:10:19.696
Because I'm always
one step ahead of you.
251
00:10:19.870 --> 00:10:21.460
And I always get away!
252
00:10:23.541 --> 00:10:25.081
Not this time.
253
00:10:27.837 --> 00:10:28.917
'Cause this time
254
00:10:29.422 --> 00:10:30.592
I got you.
255
00:10:30.756 --> 00:10:31.796
Oh, yeah?
256
00:10:31.966 --> 00:10:34.046
Well, there's only one problem.
257
00:10:34.719 --> 00:10:36.549
<i>Who's gonna defuse the bomb?</i>
258
00:10:36.721 --> 00:10:38.351
It's gotta be one or the other, Batman.
259
00:10:38.514 --> 00:10:42.814
Save the city,
or catch your greatest enemy.
260
00:10:42.977 --> 00:10:43.977
You can't do both.
261
00:10:44.145 --> 00:10:45.289
I'm sorry, what did you just say?
262
00:10:45.313 --> 00:10:46.353
You can't do both, I said.
263
00:10:46.480 --> 00:10:47.570
No, I mean the other thing.
264
00:10:47.732 --> 00:10:49.612
Save the city,
or catch your greatest enemy.
265
00:10:49.775 --> 00:10:51.175
You think you're my greatest enemy?
266
00:10:51.277 --> 00:10:53.397
Yes! You're obsessed with me!
267
00:10:53.571 --> 00:10:54.771
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(BLOWS RASPBERRY)</font></b> No, I'm not.
268
00:10:54.864 --> 00:10:56.024
- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.
269
00:10:56.115 --> 00:10:59.365
Yes, you are! Who else drives you
to one-up them the way that I do?
270
00:10:59.535 --> 00:11:00.865
- Bane.
- No, he doesn't!
271
00:11:01.037 --> 00:11:03.117
- Superman.
- Superman's not a bad guy!
272
00:11:03.289 --> 00:11:06.169
Then I'd say that I don't
currently have a bad guy.
273
00:11:06.334 --> 00:11:08.594
I am fighting a few different people.
274
00:11:08.753 --> 00:11:09.753
What?
275
00:11:09.920 --> 00:11:10.920
I like to fight around.
276
00:11:11.088 --> 00:11:13.628
Okay, look, I'm fine with you
fighting other people
277
00:11:13.799 --> 00:11:17.639
if you wanna do that,
but what we have is special.
278
00:11:18.095 --> 00:11:19.095
So, when people ask you
279
00:11:19.263 --> 00:11:21.103
"Who's your number one bad guy?"
you say...
280
00:11:21.265 --> 00:11:22.345
Superman.
281
00:11:22.516 --> 00:11:24.476
Are you seriously saying
that there is nothing,
282
00:11:24.643 --> 00:11:27.063
nothing special about our relationship?
283
00:11:27.605 --> 00:11:28.605
Whoa.
284
00:11:28.814 --> 00:11:31.404
Let me tell you something, J-bird.
285
00:11:31.567 --> 00:11:35.277
- Batman doesn't do 'ships.
- What?
286
00:11:35.446 --> 00:11:37.776
As in "relationships."
287
00:11:38.616 --> 00:11:41.286
<i>There is no "us."</i>
288
00:11:41.452 --> 00:11:44.712
<i>Batman and Joker are not a thing.</i>
289
00:11:45.790 --> 00:11:47.420
<i>I don't need you.</i>
290
00:11:48.376 --> 00:11:50.286
<i>I don't need anyone.</i>
291
00:11:52.004 --> 00:11:54.974
You mean nothing to me.
292
00:11:59.178 --> 00:12:00.968
No one does.
293
00:12:01.972 --> 00:12:03.772
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(BOMB TIMER BEEPING)</font></b>
294
00:12:13.442 --> 00:12:14.442
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GRUNTING)</font></b>
295
00:12:24.036 --> 00:12:25.246
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SNIPS)</font></b>
296
00:12:28.290 --> 00:12:30.330
- Hurray! Batman!
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL CHEERING)</font></b>
297
00:12:30.501 --> 00:12:31.711
<i>You did it!</i>
298
00:12:31.877 --> 00:12:33.087
You're welcome.
299
00:12:33.254 --> 00:12:35.014
- Thank you, Batman.
- Oh, my pleasure.
300
00:12:36.590 --> 00:12:38.180
<b><font color="#404040">WOMAN:</font></b> Batman, we love you!
301
00:12:38.342 --> 00:12:40.972
Thank you!
I'm blushing super hard under the mask.
302
00:12:41.137 --> 00:12:43.717
<i>- Grazie,</i> Batman! <b><font color="#DF01D7">(BLOWS KISS)</font></b>
<i>- Prego.</i>
303
00:12:43.889 --> 00:12:45.492
- <b><font color="#404040">MAN:</font></b> You're the best, Batman!
- Oh, I'm humble.
304
00:12:45.516 --> 00:12:48.056
- Thanks, Batman!
- I'm super modest about it. Thank you.
305
00:12:48.227 --> 00:12:50.587
- Batman, you're the greatest!
- Oh, pray hands, pray hands.
306
00:12:50.980 --> 00:12:53.230
- <b><font color="#404040">WOMAN:</font></b> Thanks for saving the city!
- You're welcome.
307
00:12:53.399 --> 00:12:55.189
<b><font color="#404040">MAN 1:</font></b> Batman,
I love you more than my kids!
308
00:12:55.359 --> 00:12:56.359
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>So do I, guy!</i>
309
00:12:58.612 --> 00:13:00.912
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
310
00:13:02.700 --> 00:13:04.370
<b><font color="#404040">MAN 2: </font></b><i>You're our hero, Batman!</i>
311
00:13:04.535 --> 00:13:06.865
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHS)</font></b> I love my life.
312
00:13:07.037 --> 00:13:08.037
Computer.
313
00:13:08.205 --> 00:13:09.205
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>Go ahead.</i>
314
00:13:09.373 --> 00:13:11.083
- <b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>Are we near the orphanage?
- Yes.</i>
315
00:13:11.250 --> 00:13:14.460
Great.
Let's turn those frowns upside down.
316
00:13:14.670 --> 00:13:16.090
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(HONKING <i>BATMAN</i> THEME)</font></b>
317
00:13:18.507 --> 00:13:19.757
That sounds like the Batmobile.
318
00:13:22.511 --> 00:13:23.551
No way!
319
00:13:24.138 --> 00:13:25.388
Hey, orphans! Look who's here!
320
00:13:25.598 --> 00:13:27.058
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(ORPHANS CLAMORING)</font></b>
- It's Batman!
321
00:13:27.391 --> 00:13:30.231
Hey, kids.
Who wants a shot from the merch gun?
322
00:13:30.394 --> 00:13:32.194
- <b><font color="#404040">ALL:</font></b> I do, I do, I do!
- Great!
323
00:13:32.354 --> 00:13:34.194
<i>- Kaboom!</i>
- I got a lunchbox!
324
00:13:34.356 --> 00:13:36.476
<i>- Kaboom!</i>
- I got a sippy cup!
325
00:13:36.650 --> 00:13:38.900
<i>- Kaboom!</i>
- I got a Batarang!
326
00:13:39.069 --> 00:13:40.739
And the rest of you get Bat Bucks.
327
00:13:40.905 --> 00:13:42.235
<i>- Kaboom!</i>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL CHEERING)</font></b>
328
00:13:42.406 --> 00:13:44.406
Remember, kids,
if you want to be like Batman,
329
00:13:44.575 --> 00:13:46.075
take care of your abs. Batman out!
330
00:13:46.410 --> 00:13:49.120
<b><font color="#404040">ORPHANS: </font><font color="#DF01D7">(CHANTING)</font></b>
Batman! Batman! Batman!
331
00:13:50.247 --> 00:13:52.497
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(HONKING <i>BATMAN</i> THEME)</font></b>
332
00:13:56.003 --> 00:13:57.923
Thanks, Batman. You're my hero!
333
00:13:58.130 --> 00:14:00.590
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(UPBEAT MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING)</font></b>
334
00:14:02.760 --> 00:14:03.760
<i>Whoo!</i>
335
00:14:05.471 --> 00:14:07.101
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHING)</font></b>
336
00:14:20.027 --> 00:14:21.147
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>What is the password?</i>
337
00:14:21.320 --> 00:14:22.780
Iron Man sucks.
338
00:14:22.947 --> 00:14:24.027
<i>Thank you.</i>
339
00:14:25.282 --> 00:14:27.952
<i>It must be great to be Batman.</i>
340
00:14:28.118 --> 00:14:30.288
<i>I can only imagine
he is going home right now</i>
341
00:14:30.454 --> 00:14:32.084
<i>to party the night away,</i>
342
00:14:32.248 --> 00:14:35.788
<i>surrounded by scores of friends
and lady tennis players.</i>
343
00:14:41.298 --> 00:14:43.048
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(BATS SQUEAKING)</font></b>
344
00:14:45.094 --> 00:14:46.604
Hey, Computer.
345
00:14:47.137 --> 00:14:48.137
I'm home.
346
00:14:48.347 --> 00:14:49.887
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ECHOING)</font></b>
347
00:14:52.518 --> 00:14:53.688
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>Welcome home, sir.</i>
348
00:14:53.852 --> 00:14:56.692
<i>Initializing Batcave operating system.</i>
349
00:14:59.108 --> 00:15:00.108
Hey, 'Puter.
350
00:15:01.485 --> 00:15:03.485
<i>What's up, Batman?</i>
351
00:15:04.613 --> 00:15:06.243
Put this bomb in the museum.
352
00:15:06.407 --> 00:15:07.407
<i>Certainly, sir.</i>
353
00:15:08.534 --> 00:15:10.124
<i>- Thank you.
- No worries.</i>
354
00:15:10.869 --> 00:15:12.829
Anything exciting happen
when I was gone?
355
00:15:12.997 --> 00:15:14.367
<i>You have four pieces of mail.</i>
356
00:15:14.540 --> 00:15:15.870
Great, what'd I get?
357
00:15:16.041 --> 00:15:17.881
<i>You have this week's Pennysaver,</i>
358
00:15:18.043 --> 00:15:21.013
<i>two bills,
and a coupon for Bed Bath and Beyond.</i>
359
00:15:21.171 --> 00:15:23.051
<i>It expires in two weeks.</i>
360
00:15:23.215 --> 00:15:26.335
<i>But I've heard that some stores
will honor them past the expiry date.</i>
361
00:15:26.510 --> 00:15:27.510
Copy that.
362
00:15:27.678 --> 00:15:31.718
<i>Also, Alfred is on the 17th floor,
grouting tiles in the second bathroom</i>
363
00:15:31.890 --> 00:15:33.270
<i>of the fifth master bedroom.</i>
364
00:15:34.143 --> 00:15:36.063
<i>Do you want me to tell Alfred
you're home?</i>
365
00:15:36.228 --> 00:15:38.978
No, that's cool, Computer.
Thanks for the update.
366
00:15:39.148 --> 00:15:40.858
I should probably
have some dinner.
367
00:15:41.025 --> 00:15:43.355
<i>Alfred left your lobster thermidor
in the fridge.</i>
368
00:15:43.527 --> 00:15:44.527
Oh, that's my favorite.
369
00:15:45.112 --> 00:15:46.862
I can't wait.
370
00:16:04.715 --> 00:16:08.045
Oh, not 20 minutes. Stupid.
371
00:16:24.735 --> 00:16:25.935
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SIGHS)</font></b>
372
00:16:27.655 --> 00:16:28.985
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SMACKS LIPS RHYTHMICALLY)</font></b>
373
00:16:56.016 --> 00:16:57.976
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(STRUMMING)</font></b>
374
00:16:58.227 --> 00:16:59.267
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(CLEARS THROAT)</font></b>
375
00:16:59.436 --> 00:17:00.896
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(PLAYING GUITAR SOLO)</font></b>
376
00:17:16.578 --> 00:17:18.118
Oh, wait.
377
00:17:18.288 --> 00:17:20.668
There, which one is, uh...
378
00:17:21.625 --> 00:17:22.625
Okay.
379
00:17:23.627 --> 00:17:25.297
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
380
00:17:31.135 --> 00:17:33.845
JERRY MAGUIRE:
<i>You complete me.</i>
381
00:17:34.012 --> 00:17:35.012
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHS)</font></b>
382
00:17:35.180 --> 00:17:38.480
<b><font color="#404040">DOROTHY BOYD: </font><font color="#DF01D7">(SNIFFLES)</font></b>
<i>Shut up. You had me at hello.</i>
383
00:17:38.642 --> 00:17:40.062
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHING)</font></b>
384
00:17:40.269 --> 00:17:41.439
Love it!
385
00:17:47.276 --> 00:17:48.396
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SIGHS)</font></b>
386
00:18:20.017 --> 00:18:21.307
<i>Hey, Mom.</i>
387
00:18:22.352 --> 00:18:23.812
<i>Hey, Dad.</i>
388
00:18:25.230 --> 00:18:26.320
I, uh...
389
00:18:26.732 --> 00:18:28.692
I saved the city again today.
390
00:18:32.529 --> 00:18:34.279
<i>I wish you could have seen me.</i>
391
00:18:36.033 --> 00:18:38.333
I think you would have been
really proud.
392
00:18:41.038 --> 00:18:42.158
- There you are!
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GRUNTS)</font></b>
393
00:18:43.707 --> 00:18:46.377
Oh! Alfred! I am so sorry.
394
00:18:46.543 --> 00:18:47.963
I have incredible reflexes.
395
00:18:48.128 --> 00:18:49.548
No, it's all my fault, sir.
396
00:18:49.713 --> 00:18:51.941
I should have known better
than to sneak up on you like that.
397
00:18:51.965 --> 00:18:54.545
Sorry, I was just lost in thought,
and as you know,
398
00:18:54.718 --> 00:18:56.298
when I'm in there, I'm in deep.
399
00:18:56.470 --> 00:18:58.760
Were you looking
at the old family pictures again?
400
00:18:59.306 --> 00:19:01.556
At the what? The old family...
401
00:19:01.725 --> 00:19:03.725
Oh, yes! I see what you mean.
402
00:19:03.894 --> 00:19:06.274
<i>Look at that! The old gang.</i>
403
00:19:06.438 --> 00:19:08.398
Yeah. No, I wasn't.
404
00:19:09.566 --> 00:19:10.896
I see.
405
00:19:11.068 --> 00:19:14.448
Sir, if you don't mind my saying,
I'm a little concerned.
406
00:19:14.613 --> 00:19:20.243
I've seen you go through similar phases
in 2016 and 2012 and 2008 and 2005
407
00:19:20.410 --> 00:19:23.410
<i>and 1997 and 1995 and 1992 and 1989</i>
408
00:19:23.580 --> 00:19:27.040
<i>and that weird one in 1966.</i>
409
00:19:27.209 --> 00:19:29.999
Do you want to talk about
how you're feeling right now?
410
00:19:30.170 --> 00:19:32.260
I don't talk about feelings, Alfred.
411
00:19:32.422 --> 00:19:34.012
I don't have any, I've never seen one.
412
00:19:34.174 --> 00:19:36.974
I'm a night-stalking,
crime-fighting vigilante,
413
00:19:37.135 --> 00:19:38.795
and a heavy metal rapping machine.
414
00:19:38.971 --> 00:19:42.021
I don't feel anything emotionally,
except for rage.
415
00:19:42.182 --> 00:19:45.942
24/7, 365, at a million percent.
416
00:19:46.103 --> 00:19:48.790
And if you think that there's something
behind that, then you're crazy.
417
00:19:48.814 --> 00:19:49.824
Good night, Alfred.
418
00:19:49.982 --> 00:19:51.192
Sir, it's morning.
419
00:19:52.109 --> 00:19:53.779
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(HISSING AND GROANING)</font></b>
420
00:19:53.944 --> 00:19:57.954
Master Bruce, you live on an island,
figuratively and literally.
421
00:19:58.115 --> 00:19:59.365
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>Yeah. I love it.</i>
422
00:19:59.533 --> 00:20:01.253
You can't spend
the rest of your life alone,
423
00:20:01.410 --> 00:20:02.540
dressed in black,
424
00:20:02.703 --> 00:20:04.963
listening to angry music,
and staying up all night.
425
00:20:05.122 --> 00:20:07.622
Yes, I can, 'cause I'm Batman.
426
00:20:07.791 --> 00:20:10.841
But don't you think it's time
427
00:20:11.003 --> 00:20:14.053
you finally faced your greatest fear?
428
00:20:14.214 --> 00:20:15.224
- Snakes?
- No.
429
00:20:15.382 --> 00:20:16.382
- Clowns?
- No.
430
00:20:16.550 --> 00:20:17.630
Snake clowns?
431
00:20:17.801 --> 00:20:18.971
Bruce, listen.
432
00:20:20.053 --> 00:20:22.183
Your greatest fear is
433
00:20:23.307 --> 00:20:25.727
being a part of a family again.
434
00:20:35.193 --> 00:20:38.163
Nope. Now it's snake clowns,
because you put that idea in my head.
435
00:20:38.322 --> 00:20:39.742
- Sir?
- Time for push-ups!
436
00:20:39.907 --> 00:20:41.827
One, two... We're going to 1,000.
437
00:20:41.992 --> 00:20:43.452
I'm afraid that's not possible, sir.
438
00:20:43.619 --> 00:20:45.409
It is possible. I'm already at 20.
439
00:20:45.579 --> 00:20:48.329
You're scheduled to go to
Jim Gordon's retirement party.
440
00:20:48.498 --> 00:20:51.628
What? No. I don't wanna do that.
441
00:20:51.793 --> 00:20:53.753
- You're going to have a great time!
- No, no, no.
442
00:20:53.795 --> 00:20:55.045
You might meet some new people!
443
00:20:55.213 --> 00:20:56.383
No, no, no!
444
00:20:56.548 --> 00:20:57.775
You could even make some new friends.
445
00:20:57.799 --> 00:21:01.469
No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
446
00:21:01.678 --> 00:21:03.848
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(BEATBOXING)</font></b> No!
447
00:21:04.014 --> 00:21:06.774
And before you go,
we can do your favorite thing.
448
00:21:07.017 --> 00:21:09.017
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b> Tuxedo dress-up party.
449
00:21:09.353 --> 00:21:10.983
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
450
00:21:17.110 --> 00:21:18.110
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHS)</font></b>
451
00:21:18.278 --> 00:21:20.028
Sir, aren't you forgetting something?
452
00:21:20.238 --> 00:21:22.278
- Nope.
- Your cowl.
453
00:21:22.449 --> 00:21:23.699
My what, now?
454
00:21:23.867 --> 00:21:27.287
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SIGHS)</font></b> Your armored face disguise?
455
00:21:29.539 --> 00:21:30.539
Fine.
456
00:21:32.417 --> 00:21:34.287
- Happy now?
- Indubitably.
457
00:21:34.461 --> 00:21:36.511
Good. Must be nice to be happy.
458
00:21:36.672 --> 00:21:38.922
<b><font color="#404040">PIPPA:</font></b>
<i>Tonight, on</i> Metropolis in Focus,
459
00:21:39.174 --> 00:21:41.594
<i>we have our favorite star, Superman!</i>
460
00:21:41.760 --> 00:21:43.510
<i>What up, Gotham!</i>
461
00:21:43.720 --> 00:21:44.720
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(BLOWS RASPBERRY)</font></b>
462
00:21:44.972 --> 00:21:47.022
<i>Superman, tell me.
How do you feel</i>
463
00:21:47.182 --> 00:21:50.192
<i>about your recent banishment
of Zod to the Phantom Zone?</i>
464
00:21:50.352 --> 00:21:53.652
<i>Yeah, look, Pippa, it's...
It's complicated. Okay?</i>
465
00:21:53.814 --> 00:21:57.784
<i>Zod and I, we've had some
pretty epic battles over the years.</i>
466
00:21:58.151 --> 00:21:59.321
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SIGHS)</font></b>
467
00:21:59.486 --> 00:22:02.566
<i>I don't believe I would be Superman
without fighting Zod.</i>
468
00:22:02.739 --> 00:22:07.119
See? Superman gets it.
Why can't Batman?
469
00:22:07.285 --> 00:22:10.865
Check it out, guys.
I built a CD rack. Ta-da!
470
00:22:12.749 --> 00:22:14.999
And how am I supposed to get
Batman's respect
471
00:22:15.168 --> 00:22:18.128
when I'm working
with these human farts?
472
00:22:18.296 --> 00:22:19.916
Boo-boo, look at me.
473
00:22:20.382 --> 00:22:23.512
You're too good for Batman.
He needs to open his eyes
474
00:22:23.677 --> 00:22:26.097
and see what it feels like
when you're not around. Okay?
475
00:22:26.263 --> 00:22:29.273
<i>Yeah, Pippa. I couldn't put Zod
in a regular prison, right?</i>
476
00:22:29.433 --> 00:22:30.853
<i>He's Zod. Come on!</i>
477
00:22:31.476 --> 00:22:32.636
<i>No, he needed to go someplace</i>
478
00:22:32.769 --> 00:22:35.609
<i>where he could never harm
Metropolis ever again.</i>
479
00:22:36.982 --> 00:22:38.232
<i>The Phantom Zone.</i>
480
00:22:38.400 --> 00:22:40.440
<b><font color="#404040">PIPPA: </font></b><i>Ah, yes, the notorious space jail</i>
481
00:22:40.610 --> 00:22:42.990
<i>that houses the greatest
super-villains of all time.</i>
482
00:22:43.155 --> 00:22:45.945
<i>They've got, like,
the sickest baddies up there.</i>
483
00:22:46.116 --> 00:22:47.196
<i>They got, like, this guy.</i>
484
00:22:47.367 --> 00:22:49.303
- And her.
- <b><font color="#404040">WICKED WITCH: </font></b><i>I'll get you, my pretty!</i>
485
00:22:49.327 --> 00:22:51.927
<b><font color="#404040">SUPERMAN: </font></b><i>To say nothing about him.</i>
<b><font color="#404040">VOLDEMORT:</font></b> Wingardium Leviosa!
486
00:22:51.955 --> 00:22:52.955
<b><font color="#404040">SUPERMAN: </font></b><i>And these guys.</i>
487
00:22:53.123 --> 00:22:54.123
<b><font color="#404040">DALEKS: </font></b><i>Exterminate!</i>
488
00:22:54.291 --> 00:22:57.631
I'm starting to get an idea,
monkey face.
489
00:22:57.961 --> 00:23:00.881
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(CROWD CHEERING)</font></b>
490
00:23:03.133 --> 00:23:04.213
<b><font color="#404040">REPORTER:</font></b> Bruce, over here!
491
00:23:04.301 --> 00:23:05.778
Okay, shutterbugs.
Look alive, here we go.
492
00:23:05.802 --> 00:23:07.113
I'm gonna give you three poses. You ready?
493
00:23:07.137 --> 00:23:08.137
Kissy face.
494
00:23:08.305 --> 00:23:09.555
Oops, I did it again.
495
00:23:09.723 --> 00:23:11.813
And the Bad Boys. What you gonna do?
496
00:23:11.975 --> 00:23:14.135
I'm out of here, guys. Thank you.
497
00:23:14.311 --> 00:23:16.731
- Congresswoman.
- Mr. Wayne, good to see you.
498
00:23:17.147 --> 00:23:18.477
<i>- Senator, looking great.
- Bruce.</i>
499
00:23:18.732 --> 00:23:21.992
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SINGING)</font></b> <i>I'm starting with
the man in the mirror</i>
500
00:23:22.152 --> 00:23:23.671
Bruce, any advice
for the new commissioner?
501
00:23:23.695 --> 00:23:26.382
Long as he knows how to push the button
for the Bat-Signal, he'll be fine.
502
00:23:26.406 --> 00:23:27.906
Bruce, I don't know how you did it.
503
00:23:28.075 --> 00:23:29.555
You can't prove it, you didn't do it.
504
00:23:29.659 --> 00:23:31.304
Mr. Wayne, so great to see you!
Come and join us!
505
00:23:31.328 --> 00:23:32.658
Mr. Prime Minister.
506
00:23:32.829 --> 00:23:34.159
Did you have some work done?
507
00:23:36.124 --> 00:23:37.134
No way!
508
00:23:38.627 --> 00:23:39.837
<i>Bruce Wayne!</i>
509
00:23:40.003 --> 00:23:41.803
He's the greatest orphan of all time.
510
00:23:41.963 --> 00:23:44.843
<b><font color="#404040">ALL: </font><font color="#DF01D7">(SINGING)</font></b> <i>Shamon
Shamon</i>
511
00:23:45.008 --> 00:23:47.048
- Nice to see you, Mr. Ambassador.
- Mr. Wayne!
512
00:23:47.219 --> 00:23:49.049
- You want a picture?
- That would be swell!
513
00:23:49.221 --> 00:23:50.901
- Here we go. Party face!
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(CAMERA CLICKS)</font></b>
514
00:23:50.972 --> 00:23:52.272
Boom. Keep it.
515
00:23:52.432 --> 00:23:53.432
Whoa! Thanks, Mr. Wayne.
516
00:23:53.600 --> 00:23:54.640
Call me Bruce, champ.
517
00:23:54.810 --> 00:23:56.270
I'm just so jazzed to meet you, sir.
518
00:23:56.436 --> 00:23:57.846
I'm sorry, did you say "jazzed"?
519
00:23:58.021 --> 00:23:59.651
Yes! My name's Richard Grayson,
520
00:23:59.815 --> 00:24:01.501
but all the kids at the orphanage
call me Dick.
521
00:24:01.525 --> 00:24:03.145
- Well, children can be cruel.
- Yeah.
522
00:24:03.318 --> 00:24:04.670
- Great to see you, Bruce.
- Nice to see you, sir.
523
00:24:04.694 --> 00:24:07.054
- So, I had a question for you, sir.
- Okay, hit me with it.
524
00:24:07.155 --> 00:24:08.915
Do you have any advice
on how to get adopted?
525
00:24:08.990 --> 00:24:10.200
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, you do?
526
00:24:10.367 --> 00:24:11.844
- Mr. Wayne, can I get an autograph?
- Sure.
527
00:24:11.868 --> 00:24:14.149
Um, all right, for example,
is teeth whitener a good idea?
528
00:24:14.204 --> 00:24:15.564
- Yes. There you go, pal.
- Thanks!
529
00:24:15.622 --> 00:24:16.622
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.
530
00:24:16.790 --> 00:24:18.470
- Looking good, Bruce.
- Thank you so much.
531
00:24:18.500 --> 00:24:20.340
How about eyeliner
or a foreign language?
532
00:24:20.502 --> 00:24:21.882
- Try both.
<i>- Bueno.</i>
533
00:24:22.045 --> 00:24:23.335
Look, it's the new commissioner!
534
00:24:23.505 --> 00:24:25.525
- Where? Oh, she's with the mayor!
- Okay. Let's see.
535
00:24:25.549 --> 00:24:26.799
Here she is, everyone!
536
00:24:26.967 --> 00:24:28.387
- Oh, my darling!
- Hi, Dad.
537
00:24:28.552 --> 00:24:29.722
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b>
538
00:24:29.928 --> 00:24:32.008
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
539
00:24:34.015 --> 00:24:35.015
<b><font color="#404040">DICK:</font></b> Mr. Wayne?
540
00:24:35.767 --> 00:24:38.147
Should I get experimental surgery
to make my eyes larger
541
00:24:38.311 --> 00:24:39.691
and more vulnerable-looking?
542
00:24:40.856 --> 00:24:42.396
Uh, do that.
543
00:24:43.150 --> 00:24:44.690
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHING)</font></b>
544
00:24:51.158 --> 00:24:52.738
Uh, Mr. Wayne?
545
00:24:52.909 --> 00:24:55.159
Are you currently in the market
to adopt a child?
546
00:24:55.662 --> 00:24:57.082
- Yeah.
- Really?
547
00:24:57.247 --> 00:24:58.917
- Oh, yeah.
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHS)</font></b> Wow.
548
00:24:59.082 --> 00:25:00.893
Are you looking for more
of a base model orphan
549
00:25:00.917 --> 00:25:03.167
- or one that has more upgraded features?
- Yep.
550
00:25:03.336 --> 00:25:04.666
Like cooking or driftwood art?
551
00:25:04.838 --> 00:25:06.107
- Gymnastic abilities?
- Yep. Yep.
552
00:25:06.131 --> 00:25:07.801
Close-up street magic à la David Blaine?
553
00:25:07.966 --> 00:25:09.756
- All of it sounds great.
- Really?
554
00:25:09.926 --> 00:25:13.346
Because all of it sounds like me.
555
00:25:13.513 --> 00:25:16.353
Mr. Wayne, do you think you'd be
interested in adopting me
556
00:25:16.516 --> 00:25:18.186
as your future orphan son?
557
00:25:18.351 --> 00:25:19.351
Definitely.
558
00:25:19.519 --> 00:25:20.809
Oh, this is great!
559
00:25:20.979 --> 00:25:24.229
Because all I want is to get adopted,
so I can finally stop being
560
00:25:26.818 --> 00:25:28.108
alone.
561
00:25:29.321 --> 00:25:30.590
<b><font color="#404040">McCASKlLL: </font></b><i>We've gathered here tonight</i>
562
00:25:30.614 --> 00:25:32.784
<i>to mark the retirement of Jim Gordon.</i>
563
00:25:32.949 --> 00:25:33.949
Goodbye.
564
00:25:34.117 --> 00:25:38.827
<i>And we wish him well
on his South African jungle safari!</i>
565
00:25:38.997 --> 00:25:40.117
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL CHEERING)</font></b>
- Thank you.
566
00:25:40.290 --> 00:25:41.960
<i>Now, to introduce you</i>
567
00:25:42.125 --> 00:25:44.125
<i>to his exciting new replacement.</i>
568
00:25:44.294 --> 00:25:46.884
<i>Everyone, meet your new commissioner!</i>
569
00:25:47.088 --> 00:25:48.088
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(POP MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
570
00:25:49.174 --> 00:25:51.434
<b><font color="#404040">ANNOUNCER: </font></b><i>Meet Barbara Gordon!</i>
571
00:25:51.593 --> 00:25:55.813
<i>- The new commissioner of Gotham City!</i>
- Whoa!
572
00:25:55.972 --> 00:25:59.482
<i>She was top of her class
at Harvard for Police.</i>
573
00:25:59.643 --> 00:26:03.443
<i>She cleaned up the streets
of Gotham's nearby sister city Blüdhaven</i>
574
00:26:03.605 --> 00:26:05.475
<i>using statistics</i>
575
00:26:06.149 --> 00:26:07.939
<i>and compassion.</i>
576
00:26:08.109 --> 00:26:10.779
<i>And now she's bringing her new ideas</i>
577
00:26:10.946 --> 00:26:14.566
<i>and her nunchucks to Gotham City.</i>
578
00:26:14.741 --> 00:26:16.661
Congratulations, darling.
579
00:26:16.826 --> 00:26:18.746
- Thanks, Dad.
- Here she is, everyone!
580
00:26:18.912 --> 00:26:20.252
Thank you! Thanks!
581
00:26:20.413 --> 00:26:21.623
Hurray!
582
00:26:21.790 --> 00:26:23.017
<b><font color="#404040">REPORTER 1:</font></b> Ms. Gordon, over here!
583
00:26:23.041 --> 00:26:24.421
- <b><font color="#404040">REPORTER 2:</font></b> Big smile!
- Wow.
584
00:26:24.584 --> 00:26:27.254
<i>Thank you for the oversized key
to Arkham Asylum.</i>
585
00:26:27.420 --> 00:26:29.210
<i>And, uh, what's this?</i>
586
00:26:29.381 --> 00:26:32.681
<i>Thank you for the switch
to the Bat-Signal.</i>
587
00:26:32.842 --> 00:26:34.052
<i>Nice.</i>
588
00:26:34.261 --> 00:26:35.301
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(CLEARS THROAT)</font></b>
589
00:26:35.512 --> 00:26:40.432
<i>Dad, you've always done a great job
protecting Gotham City.</i>
590
00:26:40.600 --> 00:26:42.730
Flip! <b><font color="#DF01D7">(CHUCKLES)</font></b> That's me.
591
00:26:42.894 --> 00:26:45.564
<i>Thank you.
Along with Batman, of course.</i>
592
00:26:45.730 --> 00:26:47.190
Whoo! Let's hear it for Batman!
593
00:26:47.357 --> 00:26:48.977
<i>Who I wish was here right now.</i>
594
00:26:49.150 --> 00:26:50.690
<b><font color="#404040">BRUCE:</font></b> Oh, I'm sure he's listening.
595
00:26:50.860 --> 00:26:52.530
<i>I'd like to ask all of you a question.</i>
596
00:26:52.696 --> 00:26:54.696
<i>Are you fed up with crime?</i>
597
00:26:54.990 --> 00:26:57.260
- Uh-huh. We're all tired of crime.
- Yeah, we're sick of it.
598
00:26:57.284 --> 00:26:59.544
<i>Great. Then let's talk about
real improvements</i>
599
00:26:59.703 --> 00:27:01.543
<i>that will end the cycle of crime.</i>
600
00:27:01.871 --> 00:27:05.291
<i>I've got a four-point pilot program
that I'd love to share with you.</i>
601
00:27:05.458 --> 00:27:07.038
I wanna hear all four points.
602
00:27:07.210 --> 00:27:08.380
<i>- It's called...</i>
- I am ready.
603
00:27:08.545 --> 00:27:09.545
<i>It takes a village...</i>
604
00:27:09.713 --> 00:27:10.923
Best opening to a title ever.
605
00:27:11.089 --> 00:27:12.589
<i>Not a Batman.</i>
606
00:27:13.383 --> 00:27:14.383
- Waiter.
- Sir?
607
00:27:14.551 --> 00:27:15.551
- Can I?
- Of course.
608
00:27:15.719 --> 00:27:16.889
- Thank you.
- My pleasure.
609
00:27:17.053 --> 00:27:18.053
Thanks so much.
610
00:27:18.263 --> 00:27:19.263
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GULPING)</font></b>
611
00:27:20.390 --> 00:27:21.980
- What?
<i>- Look.</i>
612
00:27:22.142 --> 00:27:26.062
<i>Batman's been on the job
for a very, very, very,</i>
613
00:27:26.229 --> 00:27:29.569
<i>very, very, very, very, very long time.</i>
614
00:27:29.733 --> 00:27:31.403
He has aged phenomenally.
615
00:27:31.568 --> 00:27:35.568
<i>However, despite all the great work
Batman has done for us,</i>
616
00:27:35.739 --> 00:27:40.409
<i>Gotham City is still the most
crime-ridden city in the world.</i>
617
00:27:40.577 --> 00:27:41.804
- She's got a great point.
- Interesting.
618
00:27:41.828 --> 00:27:43.708
Historically speaking, that is accurate.
619
00:27:43.913 --> 00:27:45.766
<i>- He hasn't captured Riddler.</i>
- <b><font color="#404040">MAN: </font></b><i>You know, she's right.</i>
620
00:27:45.790 --> 00:27:46.880
<i>He hasn't captured Bane.</i>
621
00:27:47.042 --> 00:27:48.962
- Huh!
<i>- Or Catwoman.</i>
622
00:27:49.127 --> 00:27:53.087
<i>Or Two-Face,
or any of Gotham's other villains!</i>
623
00:27:53.256 --> 00:27:54.256
He's not good at his job.
624
00:27:54.424 --> 00:27:55.884
<i>Including the Joker!</i>
625
00:27:56.051 --> 00:27:57.931
- She's making a lot of sense.
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(CLEARS THROAT)</font></b>
626
00:27:58.178 --> 00:27:59.758
Excuse me. I'm so sorry. Excuse me.
627
00:27:59.929 --> 00:28:01.574
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(CLEARING THROAT)</font></b>
- <b><font color="#404040">MAN: </font></b><i>We love you, Barbara!</i>
628
00:28:01.598 --> 00:28:03.348
<i>- Yes.</i>
- Hi. Bruce Wayne.
629
00:28:03.516 --> 00:28:05.936
Billionaire, bon vivant,
gallivanter, playboy,
630
00:28:06.102 --> 00:28:08.772
Gotham's most eligible bachelor,
like, 90 years in a row.
631
00:28:08.938 --> 00:28:10.958
<i>- That's me right there.
- I know who you are, Mr. Wayne.</i>
632
00:28:10.982 --> 00:28:15.112
You bet you do. Quick quest,
what is your problem with Batman,
633
00:28:15.278 --> 00:28:17.608
and also, what the heck, dude?
634
00:28:17.781 --> 00:28:19.241
<i>I'm glad you asked, Mr. Wayne.</i>
635
00:28:19.407 --> 00:28:21.447
<i>I'm not a Batman hater.</i>
636
00:28:21.618 --> 00:28:24.038
<i>But we don't need
an unsupervised adult man</i>
637
00:28:24.204 --> 00:28:26.834
<i>karate-chopping poor people
in a Halloween costume.</i>
638
00:28:27.207 --> 00:28:29.787
<i>We need to take
what's good about Batman...</i>
639
00:28:30.001 --> 00:28:34.551
<i>...and marry it to actual laws
and proper ethics</i>
640
00:28:34.714 --> 00:28:35.884
<i>and accountability.</i>
641
00:28:36.299 --> 00:28:37.579
I hate everything you just said.
642
00:28:37.634 --> 00:28:42.564
<i>Because my dream is for the police force
to team up with Batman.</i>
643
00:28:42.722 --> 00:28:43.722
Waiter.
644
00:28:43.890 --> 00:28:45.650
<i>- Wouldn't that be better?</i>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(BRUCE SPITTING)</font></b>
645
00:28:45.809 --> 00:28:49.019
<i>And I know that, together,
the world's greatest detective...</i>
646
00:28:49.687 --> 00:28:51.607
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(JOKER GIGGLING)</font></b>
<i>- ...and Gotham's finest</i>
647
00:28:51.815 --> 00:28:53.815
<i>could clean up
these crime-ridden streets.</i>
648
00:28:54.150 --> 00:28:56.070
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(CARNIVAL MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GIGGLING CONTINUES)</font></b>
649
00:28:56.152 --> 00:28:57.282
<i>Forever.</i>
650
00:28:57.445 --> 00:28:58.905
<b><font color="#404040">BOTH:</font></b> Everybody, get down!
651
00:28:59.489 --> 00:29:01.159
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(PEOPLE SCREAMING)</font></b>
652
00:29:01.324 --> 00:29:03.334
Grand entrance!
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(IMITATES GUNS FIRING)</font></b>
653
00:29:03.827 --> 00:29:06.287
<i>Everyone! Make your way
to the exits immediately!</i>
654
00:29:06.496 --> 00:29:07.706
<b><font color="#404040">WOMAN:</font></b> Run!
655
00:29:07.872 --> 00:29:09.832
Team Bane, block the exits.
656
00:29:09.999 --> 00:29:11.249
Going somewhere?
657
00:29:11.501 --> 00:29:14.211
Clayface, Freeze, bring me
the new Commissioner Gordon.
658
00:29:14.379 --> 00:29:16.009
- We're on it.
- Cool.
659
00:29:16.172 --> 00:29:17.882
And, Harley, you know what to do.
660
00:29:18.049 --> 00:29:19.049
I sure do.
661
00:29:19.259 --> 00:29:22.799
It's time for Operation
"Take Out the Laundry."
662
00:29:23.054 --> 00:29:25.974
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GRUNTS)</font></b> Butler One, this is Bat One.
Do you copy?
663
00:29:26.182 --> 00:29:28.982
- Go ahead, Bat One.
<i>- I need my armored face disguise, now!</i>
664
00:29:29.144 --> 00:29:30.384
Only if you say the magic word.
665
00:29:30.520 --> 00:29:31.600
- Now!
<i>- No.</i>
666
00:29:31.771 --> 00:29:34.521
- You're fired.
- No. Sir, we'll talk about this
667
00:29:34.691 --> 00:29:35.731
back at the Batcave.
668
00:29:38.027 --> 00:29:39.107
- Hey, 'Puter.
- <b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>Yes?</i>
669
00:29:39.237 --> 00:29:40.947
Initialize masterbuild music.
670
00:29:41.114 --> 00:29:42.284
<i>Right away.</i>
671
00:29:42.949 --> 00:29:46.039
<i>Collateral damage assessment
suggests the Scuttler, sir.</i>
672
00:29:46.202 --> 00:29:47.332
Good plan.
673
00:29:52.208 --> 00:29:54.208
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GRUNTS)</font></b> Madam Mayor, stay close to me.
674
00:29:54.377 --> 00:29:55.377
Head for the south exit.
675
00:29:55.920 --> 00:29:57.010
Now, ma'am.
676
00:29:57.964 --> 00:29:58.974
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GROANS)</font></b>
677
00:29:59.132 --> 00:30:00.132
Go! Go! Go!
678
00:30:00.300 --> 00:30:01.720
Honey, let Batman take care of it.
679
00:30:01.885 --> 00:30:03.215
Dad, I got this.
680
00:30:03.386 --> 00:30:04.546
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GRUNTING)</font></b>
681
00:30:15.565 --> 00:30:17.065
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>Scuttler online.</i>
682
00:30:17.233 --> 00:30:19.363
Chief O'Hara, we're coming in hot!
683
00:30:19.527 --> 00:30:21.027
I'm almost there.
684
00:30:21.863 --> 00:30:23.623
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SCREAMS)</font></b>
685
00:30:25.575 --> 00:30:27.175
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA:</font></b> Chief, get the mayor to safety.
686
00:30:28.244 --> 00:30:30.544
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN:</font></b> Computer,
I've got the Joker in my sights.
687
00:30:30.705 --> 00:30:32.745
Team, I got the Joker in my sights.
688
00:30:37.253 --> 00:30:38.253
Joker!
689
00:30:38.421 --> 00:30:39.421
Joker.
690
00:30:39.589 --> 00:30:41.169
Uh, excuse me? I was about to...
691
00:30:41.341 --> 00:30:44.091
Push the Bat-Signal? Good call.
I like your instincts.
692
00:30:44.260 --> 00:30:46.220
<b><font color="#404040">JOKER:</font></b> I've got a surprise for you guys.
693
00:30:46.387 --> 00:30:48.427
And it's gonna make you smile.
694
00:30:48.598 --> 00:30:50.598
Uh-oh! His smile is our grimace.
695
00:30:50.767 --> 00:30:51.767
<i>Everybody, get down.</i>
696
00:30:51.935 --> 00:30:53.685
- I...
- Joker, no!
697
00:30:54.604 --> 00:30:55.774
...surrender.
698
00:30:56.147 --> 00:30:57.607
What?
699
00:30:58.566 --> 00:31:00.396
Uh, what did you just say?
700
00:31:00.568 --> 00:31:03.818
I said, "I surrender."
701
00:31:03.988 --> 00:31:05.424
<b><font color="#404040">KING TUT:</font></b> Joker, what are you doing?
702
00:31:05.448 --> 00:31:07.208
I'm sorry, my Bat-ears
must be malfunctioning
703
00:31:07.367 --> 00:31:08.367
because it sounds...
704
00:31:08.535 --> 00:31:09.535
I surrender!
705
00:31:09.702 --> 00:31:12.122
Okay, you know what? Cool it.
You're a criminal.
706
00:31:12.288 --> 00:31:14.328
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(TUTTING)</font></b>
- You run, and I catch you.
707
00:31:14.499 --> 00:31:15.789
Not anymore, Batman.
708
00:31:15.959 --> 00:31:17.999
You were right. There is no "us."
709
00:31:18.169 --> 00:31:21.459
So, there's no point
in me trying to fight you anymore.
710
00:31:21.631 --> 00:31:23.971
Therefore, I will be surrendering myself
711
00:31:24.133 --> 00:31:26.843
to our strong-willed and
forward-thinking new commissioner.
712
00:31:27.011 --> 00:31:28.697
Blink, blink, blink.
Blinkety blink, blink, blink!
713
00:31:28.721 --> 00:31:29.721
That's really suspicious.
714
00:31:29.889 --> 00:31:32.099
Yeah, it is. What are you up to, Joker?
715
00:31:32.267 --> 00:31:34.727
I just wanna go to Arkham
and pay for all of my crimes.
716
00:31:34.894 --> 00:31:36.622
Blink, blink, blink.
Blinkety blink, blink, blink!
717
00:31:36.646 --> 00:31:38.686
Are you actually saying "blink"?
718
00:31:38.856 --> 00:31:40.146
No! Blink, blink, blink.
719
00:31:40.316 --> 00:31:41.316
<i>Joker! That's enough.</i>
720
00:31:41.484 --> 00:31:43.034
Okay, Babs. I got this.
721
00:31:43.194 --> 00:31:46.664
Not so fast, Batman.
You can't fight me anymore.
722
00:31:46.823 --> 00:31:47.823
I'm off the market.
723
00:31:47.991 --> 00:31:49.701
What are you talking about?
724
00:31:49.867 --> 00:31:51.697
I'm off the menu.
725
00:31:51.869 --> 00:31:54.659
You won't get to fight
any of this anymore.
726
00:31:54.998 --> 00:31:56.668
Man, am I sorry I asked.
727
00:31:56.833 --> 00:31:59.673
Anyway, have fun in jail and...
728
00:31:59.836 --> 00:32:01.046
Batman, what are you doing?
729
00:32:01.296 --> 00:32:03.046
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GRUNTS)</font></b>
- Punching Bane.
730
00:32:03.214 --> 00:32:04.844
That was unnecessary.
731
00:32:05.008 --> 00:32:07.298
Oh, no, you can't fight Bane
anymore either.
732
00:32:07.468 --> 00:32:08.548
- Really?
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(BANE GROANS)</font></b>
733
00:32:08.720 --> 00:32:10.680
- Yeah. Or Riddler.
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(SUPER-VILLAINS GROANING)</font></b>
734
00:32:10.847 --> 00:32:12.347
Or Catwoman. Or Condiment King.
735
00:32:13.099 --> 00:32:14.099
Why not?
736
00:32:14.267 --> 00:32:18.017
Because we're all surrendering.
Right, guys?
737
00:32:18.187 --> 00:32:19.187
<b><font color="#404040">ALL:</font></b> We are?
738
00:32:19.355 --> 00:32:20.475
Yes!
739
00:32:22.525 --> 00:32:23.605
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)</font></b>
740
00:32:24.694 --> 00:32:25.704
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SUPER-VILLAINS YELP)</font></b>
741
00:32:26.362 --> 00:32:27.412
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL GASP)</font></b>
742
00:32:27.989 --> 00:32:30.529
<b><font color="#404040">RIDDLER: </font></b><i>Riddle me this.
What just happened?</i>
743
00:32:30.908 --> 00:32:32.368
It's the end of crime!
744
00:32:32.910 --> 00:32:33.910
All right!
745
00:32:34.037 --> 00:32:35.222
- That was amazing!
- Over here, over here!
746
00:32:35.246 --> 00:32:37.326
- You did it!
- Yeah, of course I did. I'm...
747
00:32:37.540 --> 00:32:40.080
Sorry, not you.
We're talking to Commissioner Gordon.
748
00:32:40.251 --> 00:32:42.211
- Well, it was a team effort.
- I got this, Babs.
749
00:32:42.378 --> 00:32:43.758
Commissioner, how do you feel?
750
00:32:43.921 --> 00:32:46.011
Amazing! This is a great first day.
751
00:32:46.174 --> 00:32:47.344
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SCOFFS)</font></b> Okay.
752
00:32:47.508 --> 00:32:48.718
- Question for Batman.
- Shoot.
753
00:32:48.885 --> 00:32:50.404
What are you gonna do
with the rest of your life?
754
00:32:50.428 --> 00:32:51.968
What do you mean,
the rest of my life?
755
00:32:52.138 --> 00:32:55.018
We don't need a vigilante crime fighter
now that there's no more crime.
756
00:32:55.183 --> 00:32:56.233
Uh, yes, you do.
757
00:32:56.392 --> 00:32:58.812
You can spend some quality time
with your family.
758
00:32:59.771 --> 00:33:00.771
My...
759
00:33:05.485 --> 00:33:07.945
Okay, Batman. We'll take it from here.
760
00:33:08.112 --> 00:33:09.242
All right, listen up.
761
00:33:09.405 --> 00:33:11.695
All of you have
the right to remain silent.
762
00:33:11.866 --> 00:33:12.906
Let's roll out!
763
00:33:13.076 --> 00:33:14.156
<b><font color="#404040">PENGUIN:</font></b> Toodle-oo, Batman!
764
00:33:14.243 --> 00:33:15.721
<b><font color="#404040">BANE:</font></b> Bye, Batman.
<b><font color="#404040">POISON IVY: </font></b><i>Au revoir,</i> Batman.
765
00:33:15.745 --> 00:33:16.745
<b><font color="#404040">CLAYFACE: </font></b><i>Bye, Batman.</i>
766
00:33:16.913 --> 00:33:18.253
<b><font color="#404040">JOKER: </font></b><i>Bye, Batman!</i>
767
00:33:18.414 --> 00:33:21.044
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SAD MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
768
00:33:24.671 --> 00:33:26.921
<i>Today is a victory</i>
769
00:33:27.090 --> 00:33:30.260
<i>for the citizens of Gotham City!</i>
770
00:33:31.094 --> 00:33:34.104
<b><font color="#404040">ALL: </font><font color="#DF01D7">(CHANTING)</font></b> No more crime!
No more crime! No more crime!
771
00:33:34.263 --> 00:33:37.273
No more crime! No more crime!
No more crime!
772
00:33:37.433 --> 00:33:40.733
No more crime! No more crime!
No more crime!
773
00:33:44.607 --> 00:33:45.777
Is everything okay, sir?
774
00:33:45.942 --> 00:33:47.702
You've barely touched
your lobster thermidor.
775
00:33:47.777 --> 00:33:50.777
I don't have time to eat
lobster thermidor right now! <b><font color="#DF01D7">(YELLS)</font></b>
776
00:33:54.450 --> 00:33:55.790
<b><font color="#404040">JOKER:</font></b> Warrior two.
777
00:33:55.952 --> 00:33:58.832
Pigeon pose. Tree pose.
778
00:34:03.000 --> 00:34:04.130
Tree pose.
779
00:34:04.293 --> 00:34:05.343
Hey, Batman!
780
00:34:05.503 --> 00:34:06.673
Barbara!
781
00:34:06.838 --> 00:34:07.838
What are you doing?
782
00:34:08.005 --> 00:34:09.795
Nothing. I have a very full life.
783
00:34:09.966 --> 00:34:12.466
No, I mean, what are you doing here?
784
00:34:12.635 --> 00:34:15.805
Surveillance. On the Joker.
785
00:34:15.972 --> 00:34:18.892
Batman, we both know
the Joker's up to something.
786
00:34:19.058 --> 00:34:21.728
Well, then we can't just let him
run around loose in a prison.
787
00:34:21.894 --> 00:34:23.154
He's not loose.
788
00:34:23.312 --> 00:34:25.482
He has to go someplace outside the law.
789
00:34:25.648 --> 00:34:27.318
- Outside the law?
- Yeah.
790
00:34:27.525 --> 00:34:29.485
Somewhere like, uh...
791
00:34:29.652 --> 00:34:32.742
Hi, there. I'm here
from Phantom's Own Laundry.
792
00:34:32.905 --> 00:34:34.865
Here to take that bad stuff
off your hands.
793
00:34:35.032 --> 00:34:37.662
Wait, that's it! The Phantom Zone.
794
00:34:37.827 --> 00:34:39.657
The Phantom Zone? No way!
795
00:34:39.829 --> 00:34:43.419
That is super illegal
and way outside our jurisdiction.
796
00:34:43.791 --> 00:34:47.041
So, why don't you and I work together
797
00:34:47.211 --> 00:34:49.711
inside the law,
to figure out what he's up to?
798
00:34:49.881 --> 00:34:52.681
Batman works alone.
That's my motto. Copyright Batman.
799
00:34:52.842 --> 00:34:53.842
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SIGHS)</font></b>
800
00:34:54.010 --> 00:34:58.100
Batman, there are no more vigilantes
allowed in Gotham City.
801
00:34:58.264 --> 00:34:59.724
Okay. Totally got it.
802
00:34:59.891 --> 00:35:03.351
Then I have to go into
double-secret super vigilante mode.
803
00:35:03.895 --> 00:35:05.895
You said that out loud.
804
00:35:06.522 --> 00:35:09.402
I know that she said I said that out loud,
but there's no way I did.
805
00:35:09.567 --> 00:35:12.527
She has no idea what's going on
in my super-mind.
806
00:35:12.695 --> 00:35:14.355
- Super-mind?
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b>
807
00:35:14.614 --> 00:35:15.954
Smoke bomb!
808
00:35:20.870 --> 00:35:23.710
Computer, how do I put the Joker
in the Phantom Zone?
809
00:35:23.873 --> 00:35:25.963
Quickest route, no freeways.
810
00:35:29.170 --> 00:35:30.460
'Puter, do you hear me?
811
00:35:30.671 --> 00:35:32.761
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)</font></b>
812
00:35:32.965 --> 00:35:34.625
Hello, Master Bruce.
813
00:35:34.801 --> 00:35:37.361
Alfred, there's something wrong
with the Batcomputer. Watch this.
814
00:35:37.512 --> 00:35:39.222
'Puter. Nothing.
815
00:35:39.388 --> 00:35:41.138
'Puter. Do you see what I'm saying?
816
00:35:41.307 --> 00:35:42.659
There's nothing wrong with it, sir.
817
00:35:42.683 --> 00:35:45.273
I have just taken away
your computer privileges.
818
00:35:48.189 --> 00:35:49.979
The parental lock? You can't do that.
819
00:35:50.149 --> 00:35:52.359
Oh, I can. I've been reading
820
00:35:52.527 --> 00:35:54.897
<i>Setting Limits
for Your Out-of-Control Child.</i>
821
00:35:55.071 --> 00:35:56.271
You know what? Doesn't matter,
822
00:35:56.322 --> 00:35:58.042
'cause I have
a double-secret super password
823
00:35:58.157 --> 00:35:59.657
that unlocks the parental lock.
824
00:35:59.826 --> 00:36:03.116
You mean, "Alfred da Butt-ler,"
with two T's?
825
00:36:03.329 --> 00:36:04.329
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHS)</font></b>
826
00:36:04.580 --> 00:36:06.960
Sir, it's time for you
to stop this unhealthy behavior.
827
00:36:07.124 --> 00:36:08.584
No, it's not.
828
00:36:08.751 --> 00:36:10.437
You need to take responsibility
for your life.
829
00:36:10.461 --> 00:36:11.921
Not right now, I don't.
830
00:36:12.088 --> 00:36:14.718
And it starts by raising your son.
831
00:36:17.969 --> 00:36:18.969
I'm sorry.
832
00:36:19.136 --> 00:36:21.926
I literally have no idea
what you're talking about.
833
00:36:22.098 --> 00:36:25.058
The young orphan you adopted
at the gala. Remember?
834
00:36:25.768 --> 00:36:26.938
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(RICHARD WHOOPING)</font></b>
835
00:36:27.353 --> 00:36:30.363
<i>Wow! Stairs. Whee!</i>
836
00:36:30.773 --> 00:36:32.983
He's been living here for the past week.
837
00:36:33.150 --> 00:36:35.780
<i>Hello, table! Boom!</i>
838
00:36:36.028 --> 00:36:39.568
<b><font color="#404040">ALFRED: </font></b><i>And I must say,
I've grown rather fond of the young lad.</i>
839
00:36:39.740 --> 00:36:41.660
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(WHISPERS)</font></b> <i>Hello, secret camera.</i>
840
00:36:41.826 --> 00:36:43.011
<b><font color="#404040">ALFRED: </font></b><i>You should get to know him.</i>
841
00:36:43.035 --> 00:36:44.575
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SINGING)</font></b> <i>We are family</i>
842
00:36:44.745 --> 00:36:47.285
<i>- You and he have a lot in common.
- En garde.</i>
843
00:36:49.208 --> 00:36:50.958
Hello, family photos.
844
00:36:51.127 --> 00:36:53.547
<b><font color="#404040">ALFRED: </font></b><i>He lost his parents
at a very young age.</i>
845
00:36:55.172 --> 00:36:56.922
I've always wanted one of those.
846
00:36:59.093 --> 00:37:03.063
Doesn't he deserve a chance for someone
to take him under their wing,
847
00:37:04.098 --> 00:37:07.308
as I took you under mine?
848
00:37:10.438 --> 00:37:13.148
Alfred, you've been watching
way too many Lifetime movies
849
00:37:13.316 --> 00:37:14.316
and drinking chardonnay.
850
00:37:14.483 --> 00:37:16.163
- It's Pinot grigio, sir.
- Whatever it is.
851
00:37:16.235 --> 00:37:18.275
Listen, you don't have a family.
852
00:37:18.487 --> 00:37:19.857
You're satisfied serving me.
853
00:37:20.531 --> 00:37:22.871
<i>So what do you know about
having a surrogate son?</i>
854
00:37:23.451 --> 00:37:25.081
<i>Now, I'm gonna go fight crime</i>
855
00:37:25.244 --> 00:37:28.164
while you put that kid on the next jet
to the orphanage. Got it?
856
00:37:28.748 --> 00:37:29.748
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SIGHS)</font></b>
857
00:37:29.999 --> 00:37:31.129
As you wish, sir.
858
00:37:31.459 --> 00:37:32.629
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(WHISTLING)</font></b>
859
00:37:32.835 --> 00:37:34.245
Whoops-a-daisy.
860
00:37:34.587 --> 00:37:35.587
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(RICHARD GASPS)</font></b>
861
00:37:35.796 --> 00:37:37.024
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>Wait, what are you doing?</i>
862
00:37:37.048 --> 00:37:38.048
Dusting.
863
00:37:38.215 --> 00:37:39.401
You can't let him into the Batcave!
864
00:37:39.425 --> 00:37:42.545
I'm not. I'm letting him into your life
865
00:37:42.762 --> 00:37:44.262
via the Batcave.
866
00:37:44.472 --> 00:37:46.392
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(WHOOPS)</font></b>
867
00:37:47.808 --> 00:37:48.888
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b>
868
00:37:54.273 --> 00:37:55.273
What?
869
00:37:55.524 --> 00:37:56.654
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPING)</font></b>
870
00:37:56.901 --> 00:37:58.951
- It's the Batcave!
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(BATS SQUEAKING)</font></b>
871
00:37:59.362 --> 00:38:01.862
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
872
00:38:02.031 --> 00:38:04.031
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
873
00:38:04.200 --> 00:38:06.740
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
874
00:38:06.953 --> 00:38:08.873
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(WHOOPING)</font></b>
875
00:38:09.372 --> 00:38:11.542
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b> Batman! Whoa!
876
00:38:11.707 --> 00:38:12.877
You're darn right, "Whoa."
877
00:38:13.042 --> 00:38:15.382
Wait, does Batman live
in Bruce Wayne's basement?
878
00:38:15.544 --> 00:38:17.714
No. Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic.
879
00:38:17.880 --> 00:38:19.970
- We can have sleepovers every night!
- No, we can't.
880
00:38:20.132 --> 00:38:22.332
- Wow! Look, it's the Bat-Sub!
- Wait, don't touch that!
881
00:38:22.385 --> 00:38:23.737
Over there, it's the Bat-Space shuttle.
882
00:38:23.761 --> 00:38:24.905
Please, keep your hands off that.
883
00:38:24.929 --> 00:38:26.531
- Look, it's the Bat-Zeppelin!
- Don't touch that either!
884
00:38:26.555 --> 00:38:27.595
- It's the Bat-Train!
- No!
885
00:38:27.723 --> 00:38:28.893
- It's the Bat-Kayak.
<i>- No!</i>
886
00:38:29.058 --> 00:38:30.202
- It's the Bat-Dune buggy.
<i>- No!</i>
887
00:38:30.226 --> 00:38:32.056
It's the Bat shark repellent?
888
00:38:33.896 --> 00:38:36.896
Uh, actually, you can touch that.
It's completely useless.
889
00:38:37.066 --> 00:38:38.396
Whoa! Thanks, Batman!
890
00:38:38.609 --> 00:38:40.779
Please, stand over there.
891
00:38:40.945 --> 00:38:43.485
And don't touch, look at, or do anything
892
00:38:43.656 --> 00:38:45.550
for the remaining moments
you have in my presence.
893
00:38:45.574 --> 00:38:46.584
Okay, cool.
894
00:38:46.742 --> 00:38:48.202
- Computer.
<i>- Go ahead.</i>
895
00:38:48.369 --> 00:38:50.499
How do I put the Joker
in the Phantom Zone?
896
00:38:50.663 --> 00:38:52.753
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER:</font></b>
<i>Joker can only be put in the Phantom Zone</i>
897
00:38:52.915 --> 00:38:54.455
<i>using the Phantom Zone Projector.</i>
898
00:38:54.625 --> 00:38:55.875
<i>Current location,</i>
899
00:38:56.043 --> 00:38:58.093
<i>Superman's Fortress of Solitude</i>
900
00:38:58.254 --> 00:39:00.264
<i>inside the Atomic Cauldron.</i>
901
00:39:00.423 --> 00:39:04.843
<i>However, only a person that isn't
shredded, ripped, or extremely swoll</i>
902
00:39:05.011 --> 00:39:06.221
<i>can enter the cauldron.</i>
903
00:39:06.429 --> 00:39:08.099
Ugh, I'm way too buff.
904
00:39:08.264 --> 00:39:10.024
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>You also have beautiful abs, sir.</i>
905
00:39:10.182 --> 00:39:11.562
That's my cross to bear.
906
00:39:11.726 --> 00:39:13.846
<i>Additionally, once inside the cauldron,</i>
907
00:39:14.020 --> 00:39:16.610
<i>multiple Kryptonian
defense systems engage,</i>
908
00:39:16.772 --> 00:39:19.072
<i>including the Acid Moat,
Ring of Napalm,</i>
909
00:39:19.233 --> 00:39:20.533
<i>and the Jaws of Death.</i>
910
00:39:20.693 --> 00:39:24.163
<i>Chance of total mission failure is 110%.</i>
911
00:39:24.321 --> 00:39:26.621
Those are not great odds.
912
00:39:26.782 --> 00:39:27.782
Wait a minute.
913
00:39:27.950 --> 00:39:29.120
- Hey, kid.
- Yes, sir?
914
00:39:29.285 --> 00:39:30.945
- You're super nimble, right?
- I sure am!
915
00:39:31.120 --> 00:39:32.200
- And small?
- Very.
916
00:39:32.371 --> 00:39:34.182
- And quiet?
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(WHISPERING)</font></b> When I desire to be.
917
00:39:34.206 --> 00:39:36.126
And 110% expendable?
918
00:39:36.292 --> 00:39:38.042
I don't know what that means,
but okay.
919
00:39:38.210 --> 00:39:39.800
Great. Follow me.
920
00:39:39.962 --> 00:39:42.802
We are gonna steal
the Phantom Zone Projector from Superman.
921
00:39:42.965 --> 00:39:43.965
- Steal?
- Yeah.
922
00:39:44.133 --> 00:39:45.723
We have to right a wrong.
923
00:39:45.885 --> 00:39:48.795
And, sometimes, in order to right a wrong,
you have to do a wrong-right.
924
00:39:48.971 --> 00:39:49.971
Gandhi said that.
925
00:39:50.139 --> 00:39:51.389
Are we sure Gandhi said that?
926
00:39:51.557 --> 00:39:53.227
- I'm paraphrasing.
- Cool!
927
00:39:53.392 --> 00:39:55.537
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>Preparing Fortress of Solitude
infiltration gear.</i>
928
00:39:55.561 --> 00:39:56.901
Wow! Look at all these!
929
00:39:57.063 --> 00:39:58.623
Do I get a costume for the mission, too?
930
00:39:58.647 --> 00:40:01.107
I got a feeling that you'll just look
like a kid on Halloween.
931
00:40:01.317 --> 00:40:02.317
Don't you think?
932
00:40:02.526 --> 00:40:03.566
Don't touch that.
933
00:40:03.778 --> 00:40:05.818
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(POP MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
- Whoo-hoo!
934
00:40:05.988 --> 00:40:07.132
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>El Mariachi.</i>
<b><font color="#404040">RICHARD: </font></b><i>I like that one!</i>
935
00:40:07.156 --> 00:40:08.675
<i>- That one is culturally insensitive.
- Night Terror.</i>
936
00:40:08.699 --> 00:40:09.819
- That one!
- <b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>No way.</i>
937
00:40:09.867 --> 00:40:11.053
- This one?
- <b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>Death Merchant.</i>
938
00:40:11.077 --> 00:40:12.077
- <b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>No.</i>
- I'm okay.
939
00:40:12.244 --> 00:40:13.472
- This one.
- <b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>Fire Starter.</i>
940
00:40:13.496 --> 00:40:14.906
- This one.
<i>- Clawed Reigns.</i>
941
00:40:15.081 --> 00:40:16.421
<i>- Excali-Bat.</i>
- This one?
942
00:40:16.582 --> 00:40:17.982
<i>- Silent but Deadly.</i>
- <b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>Nope.</i>
943
00:40:18.084 --> 00:40:19.674
<i>- Bat-ryshnikov.</i>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(WHOOPING)</font></b>
944
00:40:19.835 --> 00:40:21.035
How do we feel about this one?
945
00:40:21.087 --> 00:40:23.007
Dress-up parties are for grown-ups only.
946
00:40:23.172 --> 00:40:24.342
Wait. What's that one there?
947
00:40:24.507 --> 00:40:25.901
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>That one was for
the assignment called</i>
948
00:40:25.925 --> 00:40:27.125
<i>The Jamaican Caper.</i>
949
00:40:27.301 --> 00:40:29.301
<i>The locals called me Reggae Man.</i>
950
00:40:29.470 --> 00:40:30.600
I love it!
951
00:40:30.763 --> 00:40:32.603
Ah! Feels like I was poured into this.
952
00:40:32.765 --> 00:40:33.845
My only trouble is,
953
00:40:34.433 --> 00:40:36.023
these pants are just a little tight.
954
00:40:36.185 --> 00:40:38.305
I don't know if I could throw a kick
or jump in them.
955
00:40:38.479 --> 00:40:41.149
I got an idea. Rip! That's better!
956
00:40:41.315 --> 00:40:42.685
Now I'm free, now I'm moving.
957
00:40:42.858 --> 00:40:44.858
Come on, Batman. Let's get grooving!
958
00:40:45.111 --> 00:40:47.071
I can only look you
in the eyes right now.
959
00:40:47.238 --> 00:40:49.698
- Sir, what are you doing?
- What do you mean?
960
00:40:49.949 --> 00:40:52.079
Why is Master Dick dressed like that?
961
00:40:52.284 --> 00:40:55.874
How dare you tell me
how to parent my kid I just met?
962
00:40:56.038 --> 00:40:57.038
To the Batmobile!
963
00:40:57.206 --> 00:40:58.366
Hot-diggity-dog!
964
00:41:01.210 --> 00:41:03.050
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>Vehicle rotisserie engaged.</i>
965
00:41:03.587 --> 00:41:05.757
<i>Retrieving the Speedwagon.</i>
966
00:41:06.757 --> 00:41:08.377
<i>Atomic batteries to power.</i>
967
00:41:08.551 --> 00:41:09.591
<i>Turbines to speed.</i>
968
00:41:10.010 --> 00:41:11.600
Hey, kid. Let's go.
969
00:41:12.221 --> 00:41:13.891
- Oh, shoot!
- What?
970
00:41:14.598 --> 00:41:16.558
I probably shouldn't leave
971
00:41:16.725 --> 00:41:20.395
until I get the thumbs up
from my new old man, Bruce Wayne.
972
00:41:21.981 --> 00:41:24.191
Uh, yeah. Here's the thing.
973
00:41:26.068 --> 00:41:28.448
Bruno and I decided
974
00:41:28.612 --> 00:41:30.532
to share custody of you.
975
00:41:30.698 --> 00:41:32.658
So I get a say
976
00:41:32.825 --> 00:41:34.945
and you're mission approved.
977
00:41:35.119 --> 00:41:37.199
No way! Is this really happening?
978
00:41:37.371 --> 00:41:38.461
Yeah.
979
00:41:38.706 --> 00:41:39.746
Whoo-hoo!
980
00:41:39.957 --> 00:41:41.377
A month ago, I had no dads.
981
00:41:41.542 --> 00:41:43.542
Then I had one dad. Now I have two dads!
982
00:41:43.711 --> 00:41:45.841
- And one of them is Batman!
- Yeah.
983
00:41:46.005 --> 00:41:47.335
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SINGING)</font></b> <i>It's raining dads!</i>
984
00:41:47.506 --> 00:41:48.506
So,
985
00:41:48.674 --> 00:41:50.724
are you ready to follow Batman
986
00:41:50.885 --> 00:41:53.795
and maybe learn a few
life lessons along the way?
987
00:41:53.971 --> 00:41:55.391
I sure am, Dad Two!
988
00:41:55.556 --> 00:41:57.306
But first, where's the seatbelt?
989
00:41:57.474 --> 00:41:59.024
The first lesson is,
990
00:41:59.185 --> 00:42:01.095
life doesn't give you seatbelts!
991
00:42:01.270 --> 00:42:03.270
- Let's go!
- Whoo-hoo!
992
00:42:03.522 --> 00:42:04.772
<i>Yes!</i>
993
00:42:04.940 --> 00:42:06.070
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(WHOOPING)</font></b>
994
00:42:06.442 --> 00:42:08.032
<i>Faster, Dad! Faster!</i>
995
00:42:08.986 --> 00:42:09.986
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
996
00:42:10.154 --> 00:42:11.164
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
997
00:42:11.322 --> 00:42:12.362
<b><font color="#404040">RICHARD:</font></b> Yes, yes, yes!
998
00:42:12.573 --> 00:42:13.913
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(BRAKES SCREECH)</font></b>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GROANS)</font></b>
999
00:42:14.116 --> 00:42:16.616
Oh! Oh, my goodness.
I am so sorry.
1000
00:42:16.785 --> 00:42:18.575
Get back up in that seat. There you go.
1001
00:42:18.746 --> 00:42:20.746
Hey, listen.
As soon as I get back to the Batcave,
1002
00:42:20.915 --> 00:42:23.415
I'll make sure that
Alfred puts seatbelts on there, okay?
1003
00:42:23.584 --> 00:42:26.594
But for the time being,
I'm just gonna put my arm right here.
1004
00:42:26.795 --> 00:42:29.875
<i>And we're just gonna
gently ease out of here.</i>
1005
00:42:30.049 --> 00:42:32.009
<i>And here we go.</i>
1006
00:42:44.939 --> 00:42:47.189
Okay. Like all superheroes,
1007
00:42:47.358 --> 00:42:49.898
Superman has zero friends,
and he spends most of his time
1008
00:42:50.069 --> 00:42:53.949
basking in sweet, sweet isolation,
here at his alone palace.
1009
00:42:54.240 --> 00:42:55.620
So, I'll keep him busy
1010
00:42:55.783 --> 00:42:58.583
while you sneak into that vent
and get the Projector. Got it?
1011
00:42:58.744 --> 00:43:00.584
Copy that! Oh, here's an idea.
I could also...
1012
00:43:00.746 --> 00:43:01.890
Whoa, whoa.
Don't even finish that thought.
1013
00:43:01.914 --> 00:43:04.834
See this counter?
These are all the good ideas Batman has.
1014
00:43:05.251 --> 00:43:07.881
And no one else has ever had
any good ideas. So don't even try.
1015
00:43:08.045 --> 00:43:09.625
- Your super power...
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b>
1016
00:43:09.838 --> 00:43:12.508
...is excellent listening
and execution of my ideas.
1017
00:43:12.675 --> 00:43:14.425
- Let's try it out.
- Cool!
1018
00:43:14.593 --> 00:43:16.433
Drop to the ground. Do a backflip.
1019
00:43:16.595 --> 00:43:18.135
Do a front flip. Triple Axel.
1020
00:43:18.305 --> 00:43:20.635
Plié. Relevé. Jeté.
Pythagorean theorem.
1021
00:43:20.808 --> 00:43:22.160
A squared plus B squared equals C squared.
1022
00:43:22.184 --> 00:43:23.194
Physicalize it!
1023
00:43:23.352 --> 00:43:25.442
A squared plus B squared
1024
00:43:25.604 --> 00:43:27.364
equals C squared.
1025
00:43:27.606 --> 00:43:28.750
- How'd I do, Dad?
- Mediocre.
1026
00:43:28.774 --> 00:43:29.784
Yes!
1027
00:43:29.942 --> 00:43:31.692
And don't call me "Dad."
Now, begin mission.
1028
00:43:31.860 --> 00:43:32.860
Yes, Papa.
1029
00:43:33.028 --> 00:43:35.278
"Papa" falls into the "Dad" category.
1030
00:43:38.492 --> 00:43:39.992
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(RICHARD GRUNTING)</font></b>
1031
00:43:47.710 --> 00:43:49.710
<i><b><font color="#DF01D7">(SUPERMAN</i> THEME PLAYING)</font></b>
1032
00:43:53.173 --> 00:43:54.484
- 'Sup, Supes?
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
1033
00:43:54.508 --> 00:43:56.968
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHS)</font></b> Wow. It's Batman.
1034
00:43:57.136 --> 00:43:59.006
And he's at my house.
1035
00:43:59.179 --> 00:44:00.219
Right now.
1036
00:44:00.431 --> 00:44:01.771
What are you doing here?
1037
00:44:01.932 --> 00:44:04.892
Don't worry about it, dawg.
I'm not here to throw down or anything.
1038
00:44:05.060 --> 00:44:06.600
Uh, no, I would crush you.
1039
00:44:06.854 --> 00:44:09.364
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SCOFFS)</font></b> Okay. Sure, sure, sure.
1040
00:44:09.523 --> 00:44:11.323
Hey, listen. Thank me later,
1041
00:44:11.483 --> 00:44:13.073
but I just happened to be in the hood.
1042
00:44:13.235 --> 00:44:16.065
And I figured that you could
probably use the...
1043
00:44:18.532 --> 00:44:20.582
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(MUSIC STOPS)</font></b>
- ...company.
1044
00:44:21.076 --> 00:44:22.236
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(FLASH COUGHS)</font></b>
1045
00:44:22.494 --> 00:44:24.254
Wait a minute.
1046
00:44:24.663 --> 00:44:26.333
Are you... Are you having
1047
00:44:26.582 --> 00:44:30.422
the "57th Annual Justice
League Anniversary Party"
1048
00:44:30.669 --> 00:44:32.839
- without me?
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(MOUTHING)</font></b> No.
1049
00:44:33.005 --> 00:44:34.625
<b><font color="#404040">ALL:</font></b> No! No! No!
1050
00:44:34.798 --> 00:44:37.548
No! There must have been
some mistake with the email.
1051
00:44:37.718 --> 00:44:38.758
That's crazy, man.
1052
00:44:38.927 --> 00:44:41.887
Totally! Yes, email mistakes
happen all the time.
1053
00:44:42.056 --> 00:44:44.346
Sometimes I don't get
Superman's emails for
1054
00:44:45.100 --> 00:44:46.100
years.
1055
00:44:46.268 --> 00:44:47.768
Great point, G.L. Great point.
1056
00:44:47.936 --> 00:44:49.581
All right.
Well, that clears up everything, right?
1057
00:44:49.605 --> 00:44:50.605
Enjoy the party, bro.
1058
00:44:50.773 --> 00:44:52.943
Hit it, DJ Wonder Dog.
1059
00:44:53.108 --> 00:44:54.398
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(BARKS)</font></b>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
1060
00:44:54.860 --> 00:44:56.629
<b><font color="#404040">MAN: </font><font color="#DF01D7">(SINGING)</font></b>
<i>I'm Superman at the super party</i>
1061
00:44:56.653 --> 00:44:58.163
<i>I'm Superman at the super party</i>
1062
00:44:58.322 --> 00:44:59.322
<i>Hey-hey</i>
1063
00:45:00.449 --> 00:45:02.369
Hey, Batman.
Do you wanna take a quick pic?
1064
00:45:02.534 --> 00:45:03.874
Sure. Where do you want me?
1065
00:45:04.036 --> 00:45:05.036
Right there is perfect.
1066
00:45:05.204 --> 00:45:06.294
- Here's the camera.
- Oh.
1067
00:45:06.705 --> 00:45:08.665
Okay, party people, get together.
1068
00:45:08.832 --> 00:45:10.132
Yeah. Everybody say...
1069
00:45:10.292 --> 00:45:12.132
- <b><font color="#404040">ALL:</font></b> Super Friends!
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(CAMERA CLICKS)</font></b>
1070
00:45:12.294 --> 00:45:13.674
Let me see it! Let me see!
1071
00:45:13.837 --> 00:45:15.417
Classic! We got everyone.
1072
00:45:16.048 --> 00:45:17.508
Yeah, everyone.
1073
00:45:17.674 --> 00:45:18.804
<b><font color="#404040">FLASH:</font></b> Thanks, Batman.
1074
00:45:18.967 --> 00:45:21.597
Yeah, no problem. I did, like, a burst.
1075
00:45:21.804 --> 00:45:23.764
<b><font color="#404040">FLASH: </font></b><i>This party is the bomb!</i>
1076
00:45:23.931 --> 00:45:27.311
Look at me! More like
Martian Dance Hunter, am I right?
1077
00:45:27.559 --> 00:45:28.559
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL LAUGHING)</font></b>
1078
00:45:28.977 --> 00:45:30.267
'Puter, call kid.
1079
00:45:31.021 --> 00:45:32.021
Bat-Dad?
1080
00:45:32.439 --> 00:45:33.439
How's it going?
1081
00:45:33.607 --> 00:45:35.647
'Cause everything is
going great down here.
1082
00:45:35.818 --> 00:45:36.818
I can see the target.
1083
00:45:36.985 --> 00:45:38.380
<i>But there's some kind of
laser energy thing</i>
1084
00:45:38.404 --> 00:45:39.494
<i>that I can't get through.</i>
1085
00:45:39.655 --> 00:45:41.445
Okay. I'll see if I can shut it off.
1086
00:45:41.615 --> 00:45:43.676
But I'm gonna have to make up
an excuse to leave this party
1087
00:45:43.700 --> 00:45:45.200
without anyone noticing.
1088
00:45:46.662 --> 00:45:47.702
Bye.
1089
00:45:49.081 --> 00:45:50.308
Kid, tell me when it's off, all right?
1090
00:45:50.332 --> 00:45:51.332
- Now?
<i>- No.</i>
1091
00:45:51.500 --> 00:45:52.540
- Now?
<i>- No.</i>
1092
00:45:52.709 --> 00:45:53.749
- Now?
<i>- Not quite.</i>
1093
00:45:53.919 --> 00:45:54.919
- Now?
<i>- No.</i>
1094
00:45:55.087 --> 00:45:56.167
<i>- My son...
- No.</i>
1095
00:45:56.338 --> 00:45:58.316
<i>These irreplaceable crystals
contain all my knowledge,</i>
1096
00:45:58.340 --> 00:46:00.260
<i>which I now pass on to...</i>
1097
00:46:00.426 --> 00:46:02.506
Darn it. It's gotta be one of these.
Is this the one?
1098
00:46:03.387 --> 00:46:05.257
O.M. gosh! You did it, <i>Padre!</i>
It's off!
1099
00:46:05.431 --> 00:46:06.431
<i>Okay.</i>
1100
00:46:06.598 --> 00:46:08.368
Now you gotta make your way
to the Atomic Cauldron
1101
00:46:08.392 --> 00:46:10.062
and get that Phantom Zone Projector.
1102
00:46:10.227 --> 00:46:12.187
<i>- Do exactly as I say.</i>
- 10-4!
1103
00:46:12.354 --> 00:46:13.524
Okay. Jump!
1104
00:46:15.274 --> 00:46:17.114
<i>Do a front flip. Do a backflip.</i>
1105
00:46:18.444 --> 00:46:20.574
<i>Run, run, run. Drop.</i>
1106
00:46:20.737 --> 00:46:22.107
That's excellent listening.
1107
00:46:22.281 --> 00:46:23.281
<i>Shimmy.</i>
1108
00:46:23.449 --> 00:46:25.449
<i>Strafe-left. Strafe-right.</i>
1109
00:46:25.617 --> 00:46:26.657
<i>Avoid.</i>
1110
00:46:26.827 --> 00:46:28.787
Hey, I was thinking.
If I'm gonna be a superhero,
1111
00:46:28.954 --> 00:46:32.504
and go on awesome superhero missions
like this one, can we use code names?
1112
00:46:33.792 --> 00:46:34.792
Mine can be Robin.
1113
00:46:34.960 --> 00:46:36.630
- I'm sorry, say that again?
<i>- Robin!</i>
1114
00:46:36.795 --> 00:46:39.375
As in the small, Midwestern frail bird?
1115
00:46:39.548 --> 00:46:42.268
<i>Yeah, and I already have a catch phrase.
Tweet, tweet, on the street.</i>
1116
00:46:42.301 --> 00:46:43.681
- Hard pass.
<i>- And a song.</i>
1117
00:46:43.844 --> 00:46:45.264
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SINGING)</font></b> <i>Fly, Robin, fly</i>
1118
00:46:45.429 --> 00:46:48.019
- Harder pass. Now slide!
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(WHOOPING)</font></b>
1119
00:46:48.182 --> 00:46:49.392
<i>Okay, kid. I'm gonna teach you</i>
1120
00:46:49.558 --> 00:46:51.728
<i>how to masterbuild your way
inside that thing.</i>
1121
00:46:51.894 --> 00:46:52.904
Yay!
1122
00:46:53.061 --> 00:46:55.191
<i>Grab those 2x6's, pull out the axle studs,</i>
1123
00:46:55.397 --> 00:46:56.567
<i>disconnect the 6x10 plates.</i>
1124
00:46:56.732 --> 00:46:57.732
Like this?
1125
00:46:57.941 --> 00:46:59.781
Whoa! Unbelievable obeying.
1126
00:46:59.943 --> 00:47:01.073
<i>Now, let's ride.</i>
1127
00:47:01.236 --> 00:47:02.396
<i>Toes to the nose.</i>
1128
00:47:02.571 --> 00:47:03.821
<i>Now you're gleaming the cube.</i>
1129
00:47:03.989 --> 00:47:05.739
- Yeah!
- Now, get creative.
1130
00:47:05.908 --> 00:47:08.158
<i>Freestyle a little bit.
Oh, that's good, kid!</i>
1131
00:47:08.327 --> 00:47:10.367
It's like looking in a Bat-mirror.
1132
00:47:10.537 --> 00:47:12.367
<i>- Okay. Leap.</i>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(WHOOPING)</font></b>
1133
00:47:15.167 --> 00:47:17.037
- I've got the Projector, Dad.
<i>- Booyah!</i>
1134
00:47:17.211 --> 00:47:20.091
Now do everything we just did backwards.
1135
00:47:20.422 --> 00:47:21.592
Oh.
1136
00:47:22.758 --> 00:47:24.678
Oh! Here you go, Dad. We did it!
1137
00:47:24.843 --> 00:47:28.063
Yeah! Mission accomplished.
That was fun!
1138
00:47:30.307 --> 00:47:33.187
You okay, Batman?
You seem the opposite of stern.
1139
00:47:34.019 --> 00:47:35.769
Yeah, I'm fine. It's just
1140
00:47:35.938 --> 00:47:38.478
watching you out there,
1141
00:47:38.649 --> 00:47:42.109
it was like the world wasn't
all darkness anymore.
1142
00:47:43.570 --> 00:47:45.610
<i>For a brief moment</i>
1143
00:47:45.781 --> 00:47:48.911
I could have sworn I felt something.
1144
00:47:49.076 --> 00:47:51.496
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>That feeling is pride, sir.</i>
1145
00:47:52.162 --> 00:47:53.502
You're right.
1146
00:47:53.664 --> 00:47:55.334
I am super proud.
1147
00:47:55.541 --> 00:47:56.541
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b>
1148
00:47:57.167 --> 00:47:58.997
Of myself.
1149
00:47:59.169 --> 00:48:02.459
For being such
a good teacher, obviously.
1150
00:48:02.798 --> 00:48:04.968
Yeah, you're a great teacher.
1151
00:48:05.133 --> 00:48:06.133
I am?
1152
00:48:06.301 --> 00:48:09.391
Yeah! I wanna be just like you
when I grow up, <i>Padre!</i>
1153
00:48:09.555 --> 00:48:11.215
Wait, what did you call me?
1154
00:48:12.307 --> 00:48:13.847
I called you <i>Padre.</i>
1155
00:48:14.685 --> 00:48:17.435
It's Spanish for "Dad." Sorry.
1156
00:48:17.604 --> 00:48:20.984
Well, isn't it also a cool Spanish way
to say "buddy"?
1157
00:48:21.149 --> 00:48:23.029
Yeah, I could've been
saying it that way.
1158
00:48:23.193 --> 00:48:24.283
Then I'll allow it.
1159
00:48:24.444 --> 00:48:25.784
Oh, you're such a great <i>padre!</i>
1160
00:48:26.321 --> 00:48:27.321
What are you doing?
1161
00:48:27.489 --> 00:48:29.489
I'm trying to give you a big old hug.
1162
00:48:29.658 --> 00:48:30.988
Thought you were attacking me.
1163
00:48:32.035 --> 00:48:34.655
<i>Hey, you up for another
top secret superhero mission</i>
1164
00:48:34.830 --> 00:48:36.080
<i>to defeat the Joker?</i>
1165
00:48:36.248 --> 00:48:38.378
<b><font color="#404040">ROBIN: </font></b><i>Oh, I am down to stop that clown.</i>
1166
00:48:38.542 --> 00:48:40.842
But I don't wanna make
my other dad, Bruce Wayne, angry.
1167
00:48:41.003 --> 00:48:42.480
Do you think we'll be done
before my bedtime?
1168
00:48:42.504 --> 00:48:43.514
Bedtime?
1169
00:48:43.672 --> 00:48:45.172
Batman's life lesson number two.
1170
00:48:45.340 --> 00:48:47.180
Vigilantes don't have bedtimes.
1171
00:48:47.342 --> 00:48:48.342
Yes!
1172
00:48:48.510 --> 00:48:51.560
So, what's the vigilante policy
on cookies?
1173
00:48:51.847 --> 00:48:53.677
Unlimited!
1174
00:48:54.850 --> 00:48:58.020
<i>All right, kid.
We need to avoid Commissioner Gordon.</i>
1175
00:48:59.187 --> 00:49:00.897
<i>So, lesson number three.</i>
1176
00:49:01.523 --> 00:49:02.863
When going stealth,
1177
00:49:03.025 --> 00:49:06.945
you gotta hide every part of you,
physically and emotionally.
1178
00:49:07.529 --> 00:49:08.569
- Got it?
- Yeah!
1179
00:49:08.739 --> 00:49:09.739
Already failed.
1180
00:49:09.906 --> 00:49:11.576
Now, what I need you to do
1181
00:49:11.783 --> 00:49:15.543
is use the naturally dark areas
of your costume,
1182
00:49:15.704 --> 00:49:19.294
and integrate into the dark parts
of this environment.
1183
00:49:19.458 --> 00:49:20.538
Okay.
1184
00:49:20.709 --> 00:49:22.589
- Can you see me?
- Yes.
1185
00:49:22.753 --> 00:49:24.593
- How about now?
- Yes.
1186
00:49:24.755 --> 00:49:26.625
- What about now? Now?
- Yes.
1187
00:49:26.798 --> 00:49:28.548
Yes. You're a goner, kid.
1188
00:49:28.717 --> 00:49:30.547
- Batman?
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b> Barbara!
1189
00:49:31.094 --> 00:49:32.804
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
1190
00:49:33.096 --> 00:49:34.966
Batman? Batman!
1191
00:49:35.641 --> 00:49:36.891
Hey, there. Look at you.
1192
00:49:37.059 --> 00:49:38.519
- Who's this?
- Hi, police lady.
1193
00:49:38.727 --> 00:49:40.227
- Is that your son?
- Yes, I am.
1194
00:49:40.395 --> 00:49:42.305
Is that my son...
No, that's just weird.
1195
00:49:42.481 --> 00:49:43.841
It's weirder if it's not your son.
1196
00:49:43.982 --> 00:49:46.232
Right. No, I don't...
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(STAMMERING)</font></b>
1197
00:49:46.485 --> 00:49:48.445
I'm not in a relationship or anything.
1198
00:49:48.612 --> 00:49:50.242
I could have a kid.
1199
00:49:50.739 --> 00:49:52.989
<i>I mean, if I met the right lady,</i>
1200
00:49:53.158 --> 00:49:56.158
and if she was just standing
right in front of me,
1201
00:49:56.328 --> 00:49:59.408
and we looked at each other and thought,
"Hey, let's do this."
1202
00:49:59.581 --> 00:50:01.331
"Let's be together."
1203
00:50:01.500 --> 00:50:02.960
- Batman?
- Yes?
1204
00:50:03.126 --> 00:50:06.086
I hope you're back because you've decided
to work together
1205
00:50:06.254 --> 00:50:07.424
on the Joker case.
1206
00:50:07.673 --> 00:50:08.723
Uh...
1207
00:50:08.924 --> 00:50:11.184
Yeah. Absolutely!
1208
00:50:11.385 --> 00:50:12.385
Great.
1209
00:50:12.928 --> 00:50:15.508
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(DOOR ALARM BUZZES)</font></b>
- Ooh. Arkham Asylum.
1210
00:50:15.681 --> 00:50:16.949
- So, before we question the Joker...
- Uh-huh.
1211
00:50:16.973 --> 00:50:18.493
...I'm gonna need you to hand
over all your weapons.
1212
00:50:18.517 --> 00:50:20.267
I mean, I don't know if I have anything...
1213
00:50:20.435 --> 00:50:21.475
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(SCANNER BEEPS)</font></b>
- Oh!
1214
00:50:21.770 --> 00:50:23.110
I just got a couple here. There.
1215
00:50:23.271 --> 00:50:24.361
- Is that it?
- Yeah.
1216
00:50:24.523 --> 00:50:25.667
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(SCANNER BEEPS)</font></b>
- Oh. Of course.
1217
00:50:25.691 --> 00:50:27.627
What about the utility belt?
Anything in your cape?
1218
00:50:27.651 --> 00:50:29.087
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(SCANNER BEEPING)</font></b>
- Under your cowl?
1219
00:50:29.111 --> 00:50:30.321
And your shoes.
1220
00:50:30.487 --> 00:50:31.487
There we go.
1221
00:50:31.655 --> 00:50:33.365
Uh... This is really uncomfortable.
1222
00:50:33.532 --> 00:50:35.452
Sorry. My shoes are part of my pants.
1223
00:50:35.659 --> 00:50:36.659
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALARM BLARING)</font></b>
1224
00:50:36.868 --> 00:50:37.868
Oops.
1225
00:50:38.036 --> 00:50:39.246
- Batman?
- Yes?
1226
00:50:39.413 --> 00:50:41.123
Why is your "not son"
1227
00:50:41.289 --> 00:50:43.789
trying to smuggle
the Phantom Zone Projector into Arkham?
1228
00:50:43.959 --> 00:50:46.499
What? Hey, kid. What is this?
1229
00:50:46.670 --> 00:50:48.710
Batman, give me
the Phantom Zone Projector.
1230
00:50:48.880 --> 00:50:49.880
- No.
- Batman!
1231
00:50:50.048 --> 00:50:51.609
Give me the Phantom Zone Projector!
Give it to me!
1232
00:50:51.633 --> 00:50:52.933
No, no, no! Whoa! Nice.
1233
00:50:53.260 --> 00:50:55.470
I studied Brazilian jiu-jitsu
at Harvard for Police.
1234
00:50:55.637 --> 00:50:58.177
Oh, yeah? Well, guess who got
a PhD in smoke bombs!
1235
00:50:58.348 --> 00:50:59.388
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(COUGHING)</font></b>
- Dr. Batman.
1236
00:50:59.558 --> 00:51:00.678
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA:</font></b> Guards! Get them!
1237
00:51:00.976 --> 00:51:01.976
Freeze, Batman!
1238
00:51:02.144 --> 00:51:05.234
Hey, kid. This is a training exercise.
These guys are my bros.
1239
00:51:05.397 --> 00:51:07.125
- Go ahead and take a couple of them out.
- Cool!
1240
00:51:07.149 --> 00:51:08.149
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN:</font></b> Hey, Frank.
1241
00:51:08.316 --> 00:51:09.460
<b><font color="#404040">ROBIN:</font></b> You want a piece of Robin?
1242
00:51:09.484 --> 00:51:11.034
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN:</font></b> Barney!
Nice compound fracture!
1243
00:51:11.194 --> 00:51:12.954
<b><font color="#404040">ROBIN:</font></b> How'd you like a punch, Glen?
1244
00:51:13.905 --> 00:51:14.905
Code Red!
1245
00:51:15.073 --> 00:51:16.743
I need total security lockdown, now!
1246
00:51:16.992 --> 00:51:18.452
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALARM BLARING)</font></b>
1247
00:51:19.703 --> 00:51:20.913
Om!
1248
00:51:22.456 --> 00:51:23.706
'Sup, Joker?
1249
00:51:23.874 --> 00:51:25.254
Namaste, Batman.
1250
00:51:25.417 --> 00:51:26.877
- Namaste.
- Gross.
1251
00:51:27.043 --> 00:51:28.503
Ooh. Briefs man. Me, too.
1252
00:51:28.670 --> 00:51:30.800
Cut the baloney.
Kid, guard the door, will ya?
1253
00:51:30.964 --> 00:51:32.094
On it! Take that, Alan!
1254
00:51:32.382 --> 00:51:35.682
Huh. Looks like you're going to
a lot of trouble for little old me.
1255
00:51:35.844 --> 00:51:38.014
I must be your greatest enemy after all.
1256
00:51:38.180 --> 00:51:39.510
Right, Batman?
1257
00:51:39.848 --> 00:51:41.928
- I see what you're trying to do.
- And what is that?
1258
00:51:42.058 --> 00:51:44.978
You're trying to entrap me
into a relationship.
1259
00:51:45.145 --> 00:51:47.305
- Really?
- Yeah, and it's not gonna work.
1260
00:51:47.481 --> 00:51:48.691
Oh, yes, it is.
1261
00:51:48.857 --> 00:51:50.857
- Because I'm inside your head.
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(BLOWS RASPBERRY)</font></b>
1262
00:51:51.234 --> 00:51:52.594
- No, you're not!
- No, you're not!
1263
00:51:52.694 --> 00:51:53.838
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b>
- I knew you'd say that.
1264
00:51:53.862 --> 00:51:55.282
- No, you didn't!
- No, you didn't!
1265
00:51:55.447 --> 00:51:57.117
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b>
- And I knew you'd say that!
1266
00:51:57.282 --> 00:51:59.412
See? We aren't so different, I and you.
1267
00:51:59.576 --> 00:52:01.176
- It's, "you and I!"
- It's, "you and I!"
1268
00:52:01.495 --> 00:52:03.905
- Argh!
- Admit it. I'm your greatest enemy.
1269
00:52:04.080 --> 00:52:05.520
You're not my greatest enemy, Joker.
1270
00:52:05.582 --> 00:52:07.882
Okay, then send me to the Phantom Zone.
1271
00:52:08.043 --> 00:52:09.043
Fine, I will.
1272
00:52:09.211 --> 00:52:11.711
And prove I'm your greatest enemy.
1273
00:52:11.922 --> 00:52:12.922
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GROWLS)</font></b>
1274
00:52:13.131 --> 00:52:14.551
Batman, don't do this.
1275
00:52:14.716 --> 00:52:18.176
As long as you're in the Phantom Zone,
I'll be saving Gotham City,
1276
00:52:18.345 --> 00:52:20.005
and that's all that matters to me.
1277
00:52:20.180 --> 00:52:21.520
Goodbye, Joker.
1278
00:52:21.681 --> 00:52:23.601
Oh, Batman, thank you!
1279
00:52:23.767 --> 00:52:24.767
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(JOKER LAUGHS)</font></b>
1280
00:52:26.019 --> 00:52:29.399
Yes! That's what I call
saving the city again!
1281
00:52:29.564 --> 00:52:31.274
Batman, what are you doing?
1282
00:52:31.441 --> 00:52:32.691
I'm Batman-ing.
1283
00:52:32.901 --> 00:52:33.901
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
1284
00:52:34.069 --> 00:52:35.989
<i>I'm Batman
I'm awesome</i>
1285
00:52:36.154 --> 00:52:37.164
<i>I got a nine-pack</i>
1286
00:52:37.322 --> 00:52:38.322
<i>Stop it!</i>
1287
00:52:38.740 --> 00:52:40.240
Batman, I can't believe you did this.
1288
00:52:40.408 --> 00:52:41.408
Hi, police lady.
1289
00:52:41.576 --> 00:52:42.736
And even worse,
1290
00:52:42.911 --> 00:52:45.251
you've made this kid
into an accessory to your crime.
1291
00:52:46.414 --> 00:52:47.464
Sorry, kid.
1292
00:52:47.624 --> 00:52:48.634
That's okay, ma'am.
1293
00:52:48.792 --> 00:52:50.853
As long as I'm doing a dime
in the big house with my old man,
1294
00:52:50.877 --> 00:52:52.167
everything's gonna be A-okay.
1295
00:52:52.337 --> 00:52:54.417
Officers, take this Projector
to the evidence room.
1296
00:52:54.589 --> 00:52:56.309
- You got it.
- And get this man some pants.
1297
00:52:56.424 --> 00:52:57.474
I'm good the way I am.
1298
00:52:57.634 --> 00:53:00.354
B Go, why has nobody fist bumped me yet?
1299
00:53:00.804 --> 00:53:04.774
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SIGHS)</font></b> You know, when I was a kid,
1300
00:53:05.433 --> 00:53:07.893
I wanted to be you, Batman.
1301
00:53:08.436 --> 00:53:10.436
I wanted to be as strong
1302
00:53:10.605 --> 00:53:13.275
and as fast and as smart as Batman.
1303
00:53:14.276 --> 00:53:16.276
But you're not who I thought you were.
1304
00:53:16.778 --> 00:53:18.068
Uh... What do you mean?
1305
00:53:19.114 --> 00:53:22.454
You can't be a hero
if you only care about yourself.
1306
00:53:23.285 --> 00:53:25.285
Barbara, I...
1307
00:53:27.497 --> 00:53:28.747
I think you're underestimating
1308
00:53:28.915 --> 00:53:31.455
the importance of the Joker
being in the Phantom Zone.
1309
00:53:32.127 --> 00:53:34.457
Really, it's kind of a stroke
of genius. All the...
1310
00:53:34.629 --> 00:53:35.629
Hey, where are you going?
1311
00:53:35.797 --> 00:53:39.297
I just put Joker in the one place
he can't do anyone any harm.
1312
00:53:40.635 --> 00:53:41.635
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SIGHS)</font></b> Yeah.
1313
00:53:42.470 --> 00:53:46.680
But what if you just gave Joker
exactly what he wanted?
1314
00:53:52.814 --> 00:53:54.694
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
1315
00:54:11.791 --> 00:54:12.831
Oh!
1316
00:54:15.837 --> 00:54:16.837
Whoa!
1317
00:54:17.005 --> 00:54:19.415
Look at this place!
Am I being too loud?
1318
00:54:19.674 --> 00:54:20.684
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(CRACKS KNUCKLES)</font></b>
1319
00:54:20.842 --> 00:54:22.432
<i>- Hi!</i>
- Oh, my gosh!
1320
00:54:22.677 --> 00:54:24.347
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPING)</font></b>
<i>- Sorry. I always do that.</i>
1321
00:54:24.512 --> 00:54:25.656
How about a warning next time?
1322
00:54:25.680 --> 00:54:27.080
<i>You're so right, and I am so wrong.</i>
1323
00:54:27.182 --> 00:54:29.022
<i>Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy.</i>
1324
00:54:29.184 --> 00:54:30.194
Yeah, bad guy.
1325
00:54:30.352 --> 00:54:32.371
<i>- My name is Phyllis.</i>
- Oh, that was my grandma's name.
1326
00:54:32.395 --> 00:54:34.975
<i>Now hold still while I scan you.</i>
1327
00:54:35.190 --> 00:54:36.860
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(IMITATES BEEPING)</font></b>
<i>Scanning for badness.</i>
1328
00:54:37.025 --> 00:54:38.565
<i>Trying to assess whether you are bad.</i>
1329
00:54:38.735 --> 00:54:39.945
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(JOKER IMITATING GUNS FIRING)</font></b>
1330
00:54:40.111 --> 00:54:41.861
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(JOKER LAUGHING)</font></b>
1331
00:54:43.531 --> 00:54:45.241
<i>Ugh! Your whole thing screams "bad guy."</i>
1332
00:54:45.575 --> 00:54:47.695
Oh, yeah. I'm a really bad person.
1333
00:54:47.869 --> 00:54:49.619
<i>But with vulnerabilities.</i>
1334
00:54:49.788 --> 00:54:51.828
Who, me? <b><font color="#DF01D7">(CHUCKLING)</font></b> No way.
1335
00:54:51.998 --> 00:54:54.788
So, where do you keep
all the other bad people in this place?
1336
00:54:55.210 --> 00:54:56.750
<i>They're standing right behind you.</i>
1337
00:54:56.962 --> 00:54:58.252
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(EVIL LAUGHTER)</font></b>
- Whoa!
1338
00:54:59.255 --> 00:55:00.295
Hi there, guys.
1339
00:55:00.465 --> 00:55:01.825
Lovely to meet you all. I'm the...
1340
00:55:01.967 --> 00:55:03.797
Oh, fist bump?
There we... Handshake?
1341
00:55:04.511 --> 00:55:06.151
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHS)</font></b> It doesn't matter.
I'm the Joker.
1342
00:55:06.221 --> 00:55:07.601
Take a look at the new guy.
1343
00:55:07.764 --> 00:55:10.064
Guess they'll just let anybody in here.
1344
00:55:10.225 --> 00:55:11.595
Oh, no, no, no. I'm very bad, too.
1345
00:55:11.768 --> 00:55:13.978
They just showed a video montage...
1346
00:55:14.145 --> 00:55:15.555
- Boring!
- What?
1347
00:55:15.730 --> 00:55:17.320
- You're boring.
- He looks delicious.
1348
00:55:17.524 --> 00:55:18.734
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b>
- Let's eat this guy.
1349
00:55:18.984 --> 00:55:20.184
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GROWLING)</font></b>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(JOKER STAMMERS)</font></b>
1350
00:55:20.318 --> 00:55:22.608
Stop with the violence for just a second!
1351
00:55:22.779 --> 00:55:26.069
What if I told you
I could get you outta here?
1352
00:55:27.575 --> 00:55:28.719
I'm sorry, what'd you just say?
1353
00:55:28.743 --> 00:55:30.253
That's right. I'm so bad,
1354
00:55:30.453 --> 00:55:33.583
I got myself thrown into
this heck-hole on purpose!
1355
00:55:33.748 --> 00:55:34.788
I'm listening.
1356
00:55:34.958 --> 00:55:37.038
Count me interested.
1357
00:55:37.210 --> 00:55:38.920
Look, everyone here knows
1358
00:55:39.087 --> 00:55:41.417
what it's like to be hurt
by a hero, don't they?
1359
00:55:41.589 --> 00:55:43.549
We've all been taken for granted, right?
1360
00:55:43.717 --> 00:55:45.387
<b><font color="#404040">ALL:</font></b> Yeah, bro.
<b><font color="#404040">MEDUSA:</font></b> I'm relating.
1361
00:55:45.552 --> 00:55:49.262
Well, that's why I came
to this space prison.
1362
00:55:49.431 --> 00:55:50.911
To recruit the universe's greatest...
1363
00:55:51.057 --> 00:55:53.137
- We'll do it!
- I'm sorry?
1364
00:55:53.309 --> 00:55:54.745
You were going to
say something about
1365
00:55:54.769 --> 00:55:56.729
recruiting the universe's
greatest villains
1366
00:55:56.896 --> 00:55:59.266
to conquer a superhero.
1367
00:55:59.441 --> 00:56:01.031
- Am I right?
- Uh, yeah.
1368
00:56:01.192 --> 00:56:03.032
- Well, we're in!
- <b><font color="#404040">ALL:</font></b> Yay!
1369
00:56:03.278 --> 00:56:04.630
Really? Because I brought a PowerPoint...
1370
00:56:04.654 --> 00:56:05.744
Still boring!
1371
00:56:05.905 --> 00:56:07.155
Yeah. Just get on with it.
1372
00:56:07.323 --> 00:56:08.783
You want us to humiliate him?
1373
00:56:08.950 --> 00:56:09.990
I certainly do. Yes.
1374
00:56:10.160 --> 00:56:12.700
You want us to make him
grovel at your feet?
1375
00:56:12.871 --> 00:56:14.751
I would like to see that very much!
1376
00:56:14.914 --> 00:56:17.084
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ECHOING)</font></b> You want us to smite him?
1377
00:56:17.250 --> 00:56:18.460
Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1378
00:56:18.626 --> 00:56:20.386
You want us to make
the rivers of Gotham City
1379
00:56:20.503 --> 00:56:22.133
run red with his blood?
1380
00:56:22.297 --> 00:56:23.417
Oh, that's...
1381
00:56:23.590 --> 00:56:25.970
Oh, no blood?
How do you feel about lava?
1382
00:56:26.134 --> 00:56:27.144
Yes! Lava.
1383
00:56:27.302 --> 00:56:28.302
- Done.
- <b><font color="#404040">ALL:</font></b> Yay!
1384
00:56:28.511 --> 00:56:29.780
<b><font color="#404040">KING KONG:</font></b> I can't wait
to crush buildings.
1385
00:56:29.804 --> 00:56:30.948
<b><font color="#404040">VELOCIRAPTOR:</font></b>
Excuse me. Hello?
1386
00:56:30.972 --> 00:56:32.642
Over here.
I don't want to be a downer,
1387
00:56:32.807 --> 00:56:34.887
but how exactly are we going
to get outta this place?
1388
00:56:35.060 --> 00:56:37.980
Oh, leave that to me.
1389
00:56:38.563 --> 00:56:39.813
<b><font color="#404040">GUARD:</font></b> Don't wanna jinx us,
1390
00:56:39.981 --> 00:56:42.321
but I'll be a lot happier when
this Phantom Zone Projector
1391
00:56:42.525 --> 00:56:43.985
is locked up tight.
1392
00:56:44.152 --> 00:56:45.202
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)</font></b>
1393
00:56:45.487 --> 00:56:46.697
Going up, ma'am?
1394
00:56:46.863 --> 00:56:49.993
No. You're going down!
1395
00:56:50.658 --> 00:56:52.408
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GUARDS GROANING)</font></b>
- Look out! Smash!
1396
00:56:53.495 --> 00:56:55.655
I guess you're right.
I am going up. Ding!
1397
00:56:58.166 --> 00:57:00.166
Here comes the...
1398
00:57:00.335 --> 00:57:02.835
Phantom Zone!
1399
00:57:05.840 --> 00:57:06.880
Huh?
1400
00:57:07.092 --> 00:57:08.342
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(THUNDER CRASHING)</font></b>
1401
00:57:08.676 --> 00:57:10.006
I'm gonna go start looting.
1402
00:57:10.178 --> 00:57:13.468
<b><font color="#404040">JOKER:</font></b> Hello, Gotham City!
1403
00:57:13.640 --> 00:57:16.140
The Clown Prince of Crime
1404
00:57:16.434 --> 00:57:17.944
<i>is back!</i>
1405
00:57:18.103 --> 00:57:20.523
Commissioner Gordon,
you gotta take a look at this.
1406
00:57:20.772 --> 00:57:21.916
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
- <b><font color="#404040">BARBARA: </font></b><i>What's that?</i>
1407
00:57:21.940 --> 00:57:23.820
<b><font color="#404040">GUARD:</font></b> A monkey
and dog are friends.
1408
00:57:23.983 --> 00:57:25.323
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHS)</font></b>
- Not that. That!
1409
00:57:25.485 --> 00:57:28.525
<i>And I've come
to finally take over the city.</i>
1410
00:57:28.696 --> 00:57:30.656
<i>But in order to do that,</i>
1411
00:57:30.824 --> 00:57:34.704
<i>I need to break my friends
out of a giant, scary prison.</i>
1412
00:57:34.869 --> 00:57:37.159
- Hey, guys, he means us!
- <b><font color="#404040">PRISONERS:</font></b> Yay!
1413
00:57:37.372 --> 00:57:38.542
<i>And I ain't talking about</i>
1414
00:57:38.706 --> 00:57:41.376
<i>those rogue losers dressed in cosplay!</i>
1415
00:57:41.668 --> 00:57:43.418
- <b><font color="#404040">PRISONERS:</font></b> Oh!
- Me-ouch.
1416
00:57:43.586 --> 00:57:45.796
I'm talking about my new peeps!
1417
00:57:45.964 --> 00:57:47.424
And they're just like me.
1418
00:57:47.715 --> 00:57:50.255
The greatest villains you'll ever see.
1419
00:57:50.426 --> 00:57:51.966
You wanna meet them?
1420
00:57:52.220 --> 00:57:53.890
- No.
- Too bad.
1421
00:57:55.181 --> 00:57:56.601
<i>He's evil, he's magic,</i>
1422
00:57:56.766 --> 00:57:59.556
<i>and it's about to get tragic.</i>
1423
00:57:59.727 --> 00:58:01.397
<i>It's Voldemort.</i>
1424
00:58:01.563 --> 00:58:02.813
Magic!
1425
00:58:04.399 --> 00:58:05.779
You are a fish.
1426
00:58:05.942 --> 00:58:06.942
You are a frog.
1427
00:58:07.110 --> 00:58:08.110
You are a fish frog.
1428
00:58:08.278 --> 00:58:10.858
<b><font color="#404040">JOKER: </font></b><i>He's a 9,000-year-old
incarnation of evil,</i>
1429
00:58:11.030 --> 00:58:12.660
<i>with an eye forjewelry.</i>
1430
00:58:12.824 --> 00:58:14.414
<i>Give it up for Sauron!</i>
1431
00:58:14.576 --> 00:58:16.576
<b><font color="#404040">SAURON:</font></b> Good afternoon, Gotham City.
1432
00:58:16.911 --> 00:58:18.161
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ROARS)</font></b>
1433
00:58:19.831 --> 00:58:20.871
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(PEOPLE SCREAMING)</font></b>
1434
00:58:21.207 --> 00:58:24.087
<b><font color="#404040">JOKER: </font></b><i>He likes long, violent walks
on historic buildings.</i>
1435
00:58:24.252 --> 00:58:25.672
<i>It's King Kong!</i>
1436
00:58:25.837 --> 00:58:27.047
Come at me, Gotham!
1437
00:58:27.547 --> 00:58:28.717
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SIREN WAILING)</font></b>
1438
00:58:29.007 --> 00:58:32.217
Commissioner Gordon, these monsters,
they're too powerful.
1439
00:58:32.927 --> 00:58:34.297
Can you contain them to downtown?
1440
00:58:34.929 --> 00:58:36.219
That's gonna be impossible.
1441
00:58:36.389 --> 00:58:38.099
Half the police force are fish!
1442
00:58:38.266 --> 00:58:40.766
Sergeant Jackson!
Stop floppin' around!
1443
00:58:40.935 --> 00:58:42.935
<b><font color="#404040">JOKER: </font></b><i>And rounding out
the evil all-stars,</i>
1444
00:58:43.104 --> 00:58:44.314
<i>Wicked Witch!</i>
1445
00:58:44.480 --> 00:58:45.770
<i>Medusa.</i>
1446
00:58:45.940 --> 00:58:47.280
<i>And British robots!</i>
1447
00:58:47.442 --> 00:58:48.572
<b><font color="#404040">DALEKS:</font></b> Exterminate!
1448
00:58:48.735 --> 00:58:50.065
<b><font color="#404040">JOKER: </font></b><i>Ask your nerd friends.</i>
1449
00:58:50.612 --> 00:58:52.992
<i>Hello? Bad guys?</i>
1450
00:58:53.198 --> 00:58:54.198
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(MAN SCREAMS)</font></b>
1451
00:58:55.283 --> 00:58:56.453
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHS)</font></b>
1452
00:58:56.951 --> 00:59:00.081
What a crew, huh?
And they all work for me!
1453
00:59:00.246 --> 00:59:03.956
Who's the greatest villain
of them all now, Batman?
1454
00:59:04.125 --> 00:59:05.285
Still not you.
1455
00:59:05.460 --> 00:59:07.500
Actually, this does look
pretty terrifying, Bat-Dad.
1456
00:59:07.629 --> 00:59:08.629
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHING)</font></b>
- Whee!
1457
00:59:08.796 --> 00:59:10.296
Nice destruction all around.
1458
00:59:10.465 --> 00:59:11.465
<i>Watch your step!</i>
1459
00:59:11.633 --> 00:59:13.133
<i>Good work, guys!</i>
1460
00:59:13.301 --> 00:59:15.261
Now, all that's left for me
1461
00:59:15.428 --> 00:59:18.308
is to rub it in Batman's bat face.
1462
00:59:18.473 --> 00:59:20.933
Hey, Sauron, doesn't your flaming eye
1463
00:59:21.100 --> 00:59:23.770
have a unique ability
to peer through time and space?
1464
00:59:23.978 --> 00:59:26.148
- Uh-huh.
- Well, I need to find Batman.
1465
00:59:26.314 --> 00:59:27.864
Where's homeboy's man cave?
1466
00:59:28.066 --> 00:59:29.816
Hmm. Give me a second.
1467
00:59:29.984 --> 00:59:31.114
Scary noise.
1468
00:59:31.277 --> 00:59:32.897
It's beneath Wayne Manor!
1469
00:59:33.112 --> 00:59:34.256
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
1470
00:59:34.280 --> 00:59:35.280
Hold on a sec.
1471
00:59:35.448 --> 00:59:37.118
Are you trying to tell me
1472
00:59:37.283 --> 00:59:39.953
that Bruce Wayne is Batman...
1473
00:59:40.787 --> 00:59:41.997
...'s roommate?
1474
00:59:42.497 --> 00:59:44.247
Uh... Yeah.
1475
00:59:44.958 --> 00:59:47.878
Evil army, this way to the Batcave!
1476
00:59:48.169 --> 00:59:50.379
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(VILLAINS GROWLING)</font></b>
1477
00:59:52.340 --> 00:59:53.340
Good grief!
1478
00:59:55.009 --> 00:59:56.049
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ROARING)</font></b>
1479
01:00:01.015 --> 01:00:02.015
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ROARS)</font></b>
1480
01:00:04.560 --> 01:00:05.900
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(WHOOPING)</font></b>
1481
01:00:06.062 --> 01:00:07.402
Hey, Batman!
1482
01:00:07.563 --> 01:00:09.403
Joker's home. <b><font color="#DF01D7">(ECHOING)</font></b>
1483
01:00:10.692 --> 01:00:13.572
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHS)</font></b> I'm rubbing my butt
all over your stuff.
1484
01:00:13.736 --> 01:00:15.856
We're going to have to rename this
the Butt-mobile.
1485
01:00:16.072 --> 01:00:17.702
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL LAUGHING)</font></b>
1486
01:00:17.949 --> 01:00:19.079
Hey, evil army.
1487
01:00:19.242 --> 01:00:20.662
I need Batman brought here.
1488
01:00:20.827 --> 01:00:22.157
Now go get him!
1489
01:00:22.328 --> 01:00:23.498
Joker out!
1490
01:00:23.705 --> 01:00:24.705
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GLASS SHATTERS)</font></b>
1491
01:00:26.833 --> 01:00:27.833
Uh...
1492
01:00:28.001 --> 01:00:29.091
<i>Padre?</i>
1493
01:00:29.252 --> 01:00:30.252
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>Yeah?</i>
1494
01:00:30.420 --> 01:00:31.840
Do you ever get scared?
1495
01:00:32.547 --> 01:00:33.587
No.
1496
01:00:34.507 --> 01:00:37.717
Yeah, that's what I figured,
'cause you're Batman.
1497
01:00:40.054 --> 01:00:42.724
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ROBIN SNIFFLING)</font></b>
1498
01:00:44.142 --> 01:00:47.562
Hey, kid.
You know who does get scared?
1499
01:00:47.729 --> 01:00:48.729
<b><font color="#404040">ROBIN: </font></b><i>Who?</i>
1500
01:00:48.938 --> 01:00:50.268
Bruce Wayne.
1501
01:00:50.440 --> 01:00:52.230
<i>- Really?</i>
- Yeah.
1502
01:00:52.400 --> 01:00:54.070
Bruno told me once
1503
01:00:54.235 --> 01:00:57.445
that sometimes the only way
to get out of a down moment
1504
01:00:57.613 --> 01:00:59.243
is to start boxing.
1505
01:00:59.741 --> 01:01:01.701
And by "boxing," he meant
1506
01:01:01.868 --> 01:01:03.238
beatboxing.
1507
01:01:03.411 --> 01:01:04.621
- Oh!
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(CLEARS THROAT)</font></b>
1508
01:01:04.787 --> 01:01:06.867
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SINGING)</font></b>
<i>Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na...</i>
1509
01:01:07.040 --> 01:01:09.040
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(BEATBOXING)</font></b>
1510
01:01:09.208 --> 01:01:10.918
<i>Feel it, uh-huh</i>
1511
01:01:11.085 --> 01:01:12.955
<i>Dick Grayson on the mic, go</i>
1512
01:01:13.129 --> 01:01:14.129
Oh. Um...
1513
01:01:14.297 --> 01:01:15.917
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(BEATBOXING)</font></b>
1514
01:01:16.090 --> 01:01:17.930
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(BOTH BEATBOXING)</font></b>
1515
01:01:19.927 --> 01:01:22.057
Oh, my gosh.
This does make me feel better.
1516
01:01:22.221 --> 01:01:23.261
Okay. Shh. Batman solo.
1517
01:01:23.431 --> 01:01:25.601
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SINGING)</font></b> <i>Bat, bat, bat
Can I get a bat?</i>
1518
01:01:25.767 --> 01:01:27.097
<i>Can I get a bat?
Bat...</i>
1519
01:01:27.268 --> 01:01:28.868
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(DEVICE RINGING)</font></b>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b> The Bat-Fax!
1520
01:01:30.355 --> 01:01:32.185
Ha! The city needs me.
Bang, bang, bang!
1521
01:01:32.357 --> 01:01:33.397
Excuse me.
1522
01:01:33.566 --> 01:01:35.896
Can you get the commissioner
and show her this?
1523
01:01:36.069 --> 01:01:38.279
- Batman.
- Would you stop doing that?
1524
01:01:38.780 --> 01:01:40.660
I sent the Bat-Fax.
1525
01:01:41.157 --> 01:01:43.327
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SIGHS)</font></b> I hate to say this,
but you're right.
1526
01:01:43.493 --> 01:01:44.493
The city needs you.
1527
01:01:44.660 --> 01:01:45.790
Yes! Let me out.
1528
01:01:45.953 --> 01:01:48.793
I'm only going to let you out
on one condition.
1529
01:01:48.956 --> 01:01:51.666
- Name it.
- You can't do it by yourself.
1530
01:01:51.959 --> 01:01:53.169
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GROWLS)</font></b>
1531
01:01:54.420 --> 01:01:55.800
Fine. Who am I working with?
1532
01:01:55.963 --> 01:01:58.423
SEAL Team Six? Fox Force Five?
Suicide Squad?
1533
01:01:58.591 --> 01:02:00.681
No. Me.
1534
01:02:00.843 --> 01:02:01.843
Oh, I wanna help, too!
1535
01:02:02.011 --> 01:02:03.371
- And I shall join as well.
- Whoa!
1536
01:02:03.513 --> 01:02:05.313
Alfred Pennyworth
at your service, ma'am.
1537
01:02:05.473 --> 01:02:07.201
- How did you...
- Alfred, you gotta let me out of here.
1538
01:02:07.225 --> 01:02:10.305
Sir, those creatures out there
are unlike anything we've ever seen.
1539
01:02:10.478 --> 01:02:12.498
Speak for yourself.
You don't know everything I've seen.
1540
01:02:12.522 --> 01:02:13.722
I haven't told you everything.
1541
01:02:13.815 --> 01:02:16.315
And you'll never be able
to defeat them alone.
1542
01:02:16.484 --> 01:02:18.654
And it'll be more fun
if we all do it together!
1543
01:02:18.820 --> 01:02:20.490
What's the worst thing
that could happen?
1544
01:02:20.905 --> 01:02:22.485
What are you so afraid of?
1545
01:02:22.657 --> 01:02:24.487
The thing I'm most afraid of?
1546
01:02:29.831 --> 01:02:31.791
I gotta be honest with you.
It's snake clowns.
1547
01:02:31.958 --> 01:02:33.168
Yeah, that's not a thing.
1548
01:02:33.334 --> 01:02:34.754
Well then, nothing.
1549
01:02:34.961 --> 01:02:37.171
- I'm not afraid of anything.
- Okay.
1550
01:02:37.922 --> 01:02:39.172
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(DOOR LOCK BEEPS)</font></b>
- Prove it.
1551
01:02:39.507 --> 01:02:41.007
- Oh, I will.
- Good.
1552
01:02:41.175 --> 01:02:43.465
Do you know what the B-A-T
in Batman stands for?
1553
01:02:43.636 --> 01:02:45.806
- Not really.
- Best At Teamwork.
1554
01:02:45.972 --> 01:02:48.352
Best At Teamwork Man
is my full name.
1555
01:02:48.516 --> 01:02:50.346
Yay! We're going on a family trip.
1556
01:02:50.518 --> 01:02:52.058
This is not a family trip.
1557
01:02:52.228 --> 01:02:53.398
I can wear my costume, too.
1558
01:02:53.563 --> 01:02:55.833
Well, luckily for us,
you left your costume back at the...
1559
01:02:55.857 --> 01:02:57.067
- Rip!
- Oh!
1560
01:02:57.233 --> 01:02:59.403
Nope. Under your clothes.
That's perfect.
1561
01:02:59.569 --> 01:03:01.989
- Rip!
- Alfred, what are you doing?
1562
01:03:02.155 --> 01:03:03.155
I miss the '60s.
1563
01:03:03.322 --> 01:03:04.532
Hey, can Scarecrow help?
1564
01:03:04.699 --> 01:03:06.343
- <b><font color="#404040">PRISONERS:</font></b> Yeah!
- He's destroying our city, too!
1565
01:03:06.367 --> 01:03:08.577
Permit us to lend you assistance.
1566
01:03:08.744 --> 01:03:10.254
Yeah. Why don't we use these guys?
1567
01:03:10.413 --> 01:03:11.413
What am I gonna do?
1568
01:03:11.581 --> 01:03:13.517
Get a bunch of criminals together
to fight the criminals?
1569
01:03:13.541 --> 01:03:14.961
That's a stupid idea.
1570
01:03:15.877 --> 01:03:17.207
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SIRENS WAILING)</font></b>
1571
01:03:18.754 --> 01:03:20.554
Okay, guys. Game plan.
1572
01:03:20.715 --> 01:03:21.795
Joker's taken the Projector
1573
01:03:21.883 --> 01:03:23.026
- to Wayne Manor.
- Wayne Manor.
1574
01:03:23.050 --> 01:03:24.390
Right. Thanks, Batman.
1575
01:03:24.552 --> 01:03:25.696
- We need that Projector.
- Projector.
1576
01:03:25.720 --> 01:03:26.720
Or there's no way
1577
01:03:26.888 --> 01:03:28.031
- to blast these monsters...
- Monsters.
1578
01:03:28.055 --> 01:03:29.533
- ...back to the Phantom Zone.
- Phantom Zone? Yep.
1579
01:03:29.557 --> 01:03:31.201
Batman, I really don't
need you to finish my...
1580
01:03:31.225 --> 01:03:32.265
- Sand castles.
- No.
1581
01:03:32.435 --> 01:03:33.555
- Sister's homework.
- No.
1582
01:03:33.728 --> 01:03:35.398
- Succulent something.
- No.
1583
01:03:35.897 --> 01:03:36.937
Um... Everybody?
1584
01:03:37.106 --> 01:03:39.896
<b><font color="#404040">SAURON:</font></b> Batman is in Arkham Asylum.
1585
01:03:40.067 --> 01:03:41.737
Get him!
1586
01:03:41.903 --> 01:03:43.103
Okay, everyone, grab on to me.
1587
01:03:43.905 --> 01:03:45.275
<b><font color="#404040">ALL:</font></b> Whoa!
1588
01:03:47.074 --> 01:03:48.084
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL GRUNT)</font></b>
1589
01:03:49.494 --> 01:03:50.754
We've gotta take cover!
1590
01:03:50.953 --> 01:03:51.953
Whoa!
1591
01:03:52.330 --> 01:03:54.750
- Joker has eyes on us.
- Where?
1592
01:03:54.916 --> 01:03:58.376
No! I mean,
he literally has a giant eye on us.
1593
01:03:58.544 --> 01:04:00.254
<i>I think that thing
can see our every move!</i>
1594
01:04:00.421 --> 01:04:01.591
Shaka-laka-Iako.
1595
01:04:01.797 --> 01:04:05.217
We've got to destroy it,
or we'll never make it to Wayne Manor.
1596
01:04:05.384 --> 01:04:06.434
Uh... Bat-Dad?
1597
01:04:06.636 --> 01:04:08.036
I really think you should see this.
1598
01:04:08.179 --> 01:04:09.639
<b><font color="#404040">KING KONG:</font></b> Building survey!
1599
01:04:10.431 --> 01:04:12.101
This building's not up to code!
1600
01:04:12.308 --> 01:04:13.308
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL SCREAMING)</font></b>
1601
01:04:13.601 --> 01:04:14.771
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ROARING)</font></b>
1602
01:04:18.940 --> 01:04:20.780
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GRUNTS)</font></b> Gotcha.
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(ROBIN YELPS)</font></b>
1603
01:04:21.442 --> 01:04:22.652
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ROARING)</font></b>
1604
01:04:24.070 --> 01:04:25.240
Is that real lava?
1605
01:04:26.948 --> 01:04:27.948
I'm okay.
1606
01:04:30.076 --> 01:04:31.446
All right, yeah. It's 100% lava.
1607
01:04:31.827 --> 01:04:33.157
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL YELP)</font></b>
1608
01:04:33.454 --> 01:04:35.641
- Everyone, start throwing me bricks.
- Right away, sir.
1609
01:04:35.665 --> 01:04:37.309
<i>- I need a 4x6. Come on, quick.</i>
- Here you go.
1610
01:04:37.333 --> 01:04:38.383
<i>- I need an elbow.</i>
- Elbow.
1611
01:04:45.299 --> 01:04:46.299
Ow!
1612
01:04:51.430 --> 01:04:52.430
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>Whoo!</i>
1613
01:04:52.598 --> 01:04:54.848
<i>Yes! I did it. Pretty cool, huh?</i>
1614
01:04:55.017 --> 01:04:56.577
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA: </font><font color="#DF01D7">(MUFFLED)</font></b> <i>Batman?</i>
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>Yeah?</i>
1615
01:04:56.686 --> 01:04:59.106
Why did you build this thing
with only one seat?
1616
01:04:59.272 --> 01:05:02.282
'Cause last I checked,
I only had one butt. What the...
1617
01:05:03.109 --> 01:05:04.939
<i>What have you done to Wayne Manor?</i>
1618
01:05:05.778 --> 01:05:07.528
<b><font color="#404040">JOKER: </font></b><i>Hey, Batman, guess what!</i>
1619
01:05:07.780 --> 01:05:09.370
I found out one of your secrets.
1620
01:05:09.657 --> 01:05:12.157
- Uh-oh.
- What do we have here, Batman?
1621
01:05:12.326 --> 01:05:14.406
It looks like a bunch
of relationship comedies.
1622
01:05:14.579 --> 01:05:16.289
- What's that one?
<i>- Must Love Dogs.</i>
1623
01:05:16.455 --> 01:05:17.495
Must love crying.
1624
01:05:17.665 --> 01:05:19.625
<i>- Marley & Me.</i>
- I love the ending.
1625
01:05:19.792 --> 01:05:22.462
Oh! <i>Serendipity?</i>
1626
01:05:22.628 --> 01:05:24.298
We have <i>Serendipity?</i>
I love that movie!
1627
01:05:24.463 --> 01:05:26.223
<b><font color="#404040">JOKER: </font></b><i>For a loner, Batman,</i>
1628
01:05:26.382 --> 01:05:29.682
<i>you sure like movies
about relationships!</i>
1629
01:05:29.844 --> 01:05:31.084
Oh! And look what else I found!
1630
01:05:31.512 --> 01:05:33.512
<i>All your wonderful toys.</i>
1631
01:05:35.975 --> 01:05:39.725
<i>Accio</i> lightning storm!
1632
01:05:40.688 --> 01:05:43.478
- Uh... Everyone, hold on.
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL SCREAMING)</font></b>
1633
01:05:44.108 --> 01:05:45.388
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(VILLAINS IMITATING GUNS FIRING)</font></b>
1634
01:05:48.613 --> 01:05:51.663
<b><font color="#404040">JOKER: </font></b><i>Gremlins,
dismantle that plane now!</i>
1635
01:05:52.867 --> 01:05:54.287
Ugly monsters on our three.
1636
01:05:54.493 --> 01:05:55.753
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL CHITTERING)</font></b>
1637
01:05:55.995 --> 01:05:57.705
- Uh<i>... Padre?</i>
- Not now, kid.
1638
01:05:59.582 --> 01:06:01.132
<i>Kind of got my hands full.</i>
1639
01:06:02.960 --> 01:06:04.960
I've got good tone. Firing.
1640
01:06:08.924 --> 01:06:10.724
- Uh... Batman?
- What's up, buddy?
1641
01:06:11.177 --> 01:06:12.617
<b><font color="#404040">ROBIN: </font></b><i>Are we nearly at Wayne Manor?</i>
1642
01:06:12.678 --> 01:06:13.848
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>Why?</i>
1643
01:06:14.263 --> 01:06:16.143
Uh... Your number two
needs to go number one.
1644
01:06:16.307 --> 01:06:18.477
I thought I told you
to go back at the prison.
1645
01:06:18.643 --> 01:06:20.393
- I tried, but Bane was in there.
- So?
1646
01:06:20.561 --> 01:06:22.861
He had sort of a "get out
of this bathroom now" vibe.
1647
01:06:23.022 --> 01:06:25.522
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>I knew I shouldn't
have given you that water.</i>
1648
01:06:27.276 --> 01:06:28.986
Can you hold it in like a big boy?
1649
01:06:29.445 --> 01:06:30.655
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA:</font></b> Engine one down.
1650
01:06:30.821 --> 01:06:32.382
Not a big deal.
Don't worry about it. It's fine.
1651
01:06:32.406 --> 01:06:34.486
- <b><font color="#404040">BARBARA:</font></b> Engine two down.
- It does that sometimes.
1652
01:06:34.909 --> 01:06:36.178
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA: </font></b><i>We've lost engine three.</i>
1653
01:06:36.202 --> 01:06:37.452
Oh. Could live without it.
1654
01:06:39.246 --> 01:06:40.706
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA: </font></b><i>Engine four!</i>
1655
01:06:40.956 --> 01:06:42.246
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL SCREAMING)</font></b>
1656
01:06:42.458 --> 01:06:43.748
That I do need to fix.
1657
01:06:43.918 --> 01:06:45.998
Good news.
Our bathroom problem is solved.
1658
01:06:48.589 --> 01:06:50.400
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>You three wait here
while I go fix the engine.</i>
1659
01:06:50.424 --> 01:06:53.184
Don't worry, Batman.
You fix the Batwing, I'll fly.
1660
01:06:53.344 --> 01:06:54.988
All good, Babs.
I've got my autopilot on it.
1661
01:06:55.012 --> 01:06:56.012
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(HUMS)</font></b> Done.
1662
01:06:56.347 --> 01:06:58.137
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA: </font></b><i>Autopilot?
That's just a rope!</i>
1663
01:06:58.307 --> 01:07:01.597
Exactly. All right, guys.
Until I get back, rope's in charge.
1664
01:07:02.353 --> 01:07:03.403
Thanks, rope.
1665
01:07:05.981 --> 01:07:08.781
All right, let's see.
Yes, the piston brake out here.
1666
01:07:08.943 --> 01:07:11.453
Jet engine brake in here and...
1667
01:07:12.613 --> 01:07:14.703
Get out of here. No.
Give me... No! Stop it!
1668
01:07:14.865 --> 01:07:16.505
Come on, Master Dick.
We need to help him.
1669
01:07:16.575 --> 01:07:17.615
I'm with you, Grandpa!
1670
01:07:17.785 --> 01:07:18.905
Get off my <i>Padre!</i>
1671
01:07:19.078 --> 01:07:20.958
<b><font color="#404040">ALFRED:</font></b> Unhand him,
you animatronic fiends.
1672
01:07:21.122 --> 01:07:24.252
What are you two doing here?
I told you to stay in the cockpit.
1673
01:07:25.126 --> 01:07:27.036
You disobeyed me.
You're on a timeout.
1674
01:07:27.211 --> 01:07:28.841
Batman, you're on a timeout.
1675
01:07:29.004 --> 01:07:31.264
What? Alfred, you better
un-timeout me right now!
1676
01:07:31.424 --> 01:07:33.684
No. Not until you un-timeout Master Dick.
1677
01:07:33.926 --> 01:07:34.926
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b>
1678
01:07:35.094 --> 01:07:36.764
Guys, you're all un-timeouted!
1679
01:07:36.929 --> 01:07:37.929
We have incoming!
1680
01:07:38.097 --> 01:07:39.783
- Sir! Watch out for those...
- What are you doing?
1681
01:07:39.807 --> 01:07:40.807
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SCREAMING)</font></b>
1682
01:07:44.979 --> 01:07:46.099
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALFRED AND ROBIN SCREAMING)</font></b>
1683
01:07:46.188 --> 01:07:47.728
Okay. Everybody, timeout off.
1684
01:07:47.940 --> 01:07:49.480
Whoo-hoo! I've been parented.
1685
01:07:49.650 --> 01:07:51.780
- Batman, I can help you.
- No. Protect the rope.
1686
01:07:51.944 --> 01:07:53.364
The rope is fine!
1687
01:07:53.529 --> 01:07:54.609
Save Master Dick!
1688
01:07:54.780 --> 01:07:57.410
I'm fine. I'll just do
one of my gymnastics moves to...
1689
01:07:57.575 --> 01:07:58.575
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(YELPS)</font></b>
1690
01:07:59.034 --> 01:08:00.124
No!
1691
01:08:04.165 --> 01:08:05.415
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(THUNDER CRASHING)</font></b>
1692
01:08:05.833 --> 01:08:06.883
Dick...
1693
01:08:07.084 --> 01:08:08.544
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SCREAMING)</font></b>
1694
01:08:10.588 --> 01:08:11.758
Gotcha!
1695
01:08:15.426 --> 01:08:17.336
Hold on, Alfred. I'm almost there!
1696
01:08:18.929 --> 01:08:20.179
- No!
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b>
1697
01:08:22.767 --> 01:08:24.637
Alfred!
1698
01:08:31.025 --> 01:08:32.185
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b>
1699
01:08:33.527 --> 01:08:34.697
No.
1700
01:08:39.366 --> 01:08:40.866
No!
1701
01:08:42.077 --> 01:08:43.197
Move over, rope.
1702
01:08:44.121 --> 01:08:45.161
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GRUNTS)</font></b>
1703
01:08:45.372 --> 01:08:46.542
<i>Hold on!</i>
1704
01:08:49.126 --> 01:08:50.336
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SCREAMING)</font></b>
1705
01:08:50.711 --> 01:08:51.961
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(BARBARA YELLING)</font></b>
1706
01:08:55.049 --> 01:08:56.049
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SCREAMS)</font></b>
1707
01:08:56.217 --> 01:08:57.757
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GRUNTS)</font></b>
1708
01:09:00.221 --> 01:09:01.721
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALFRED SCREAMS)</font></b>
- Gotcha!
1709
01:09:02.681 --> 01:09:03.811
Barbara, did you see that?
1710
01:09:03.974 --> 01:09:05.394
Batrope saved Alfred.
1711
01:09:05.559 --> 01:09:08.229
Sick moves, rope.
I never doubted you, bro.
1712
01:09:08.395 --> 01:09:10.395
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>Actually, sir,
Ms. Gordon saved him.</i>
1713
01:09:10.564 --> 01:09:11.824
Rope! You lied to me!
1714
01:09:12.817 --> 01:09:15.357
Wait a minute.
You mean, without you,
1715
01:09:15.528 --> 01:09:16.738
Alfred would have been
1716
01:09:17.571 --> 01:09:18.911
<i>street meat?</i>
1717
01:09:19.073 --> 01:09:21.583
Batman, trust us.
1718
01:09:21.742 --> 01:09:23.582
We can do this.
1719
01:09:23.744 --> 01:09:26.664
- Yeah. I know Gymkata.
- Sorry, what's that?
1720
01:09:26.831 --> 01:09:28.461
It's a gymnastics-based martial art.
1721
01:09:28.749 --> 01:09:30.919
I can punch those '80s monsters
off the plane.
1722
01:09:31.085 --> 01:09:32.335
Uh... Okay.
1723
01:09:32.837 --> 01:09:34.797
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>Multiple bogeys on our six.</i>
1724
01:09:34.964 --> 01:09:36.244
Sir, I'll get them off our back.
1725
01:09:36.382 --> 01:09:38.102
I was a tail gunner
for the Royal Air Force.
1726
01:09:38.175 --> 01:09:39.425
Locked and loaded, sir!
1727
01:09:39.593 --> 01:09:40.643
Good. Love that!
1728
01:09:40.803 --> 01:09:42.603
I got an idea.
We're gonna change course.
1729
01:09:42.763 --> 01:09:44.933
<i>I want you to fly straight
into that flaming eyeball.</i>
1730
01:09:45.099 --> 01:09:47.849
- What?
- Barbara, trust me.
1731
01:09:48.602 --> 01:09:50.732
All right. Let's do this.
1732
01:09:51.605 --> 01:09:53.565
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(VILLAINS IMITATING GUNS FIRING)</font></b>
1733
01:09:55.526 --> 01:09:56.776
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ROARS)</font></b>
1734
01:09:58.070 --> 01:09:59.840
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN:</font></b> We got a giant
sea monster, 12 o'clock!
1735
01:09:59.864 --> 01:10:00.874
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA:</font></b> Got it.
1736
01:10:02.408 --> 01:10:04.368
- We've got his attention.
- He's tracking us.
1737
01:10:04.660 --> 01:10:05.660
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ROARS)</font></b>
1738
01:10:09.415 --> 01:10:10.995
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHING)</font></b> I've got you now.
1739
01:10:15.629 --> 01:10:17.339
Eat dirt!
1740
01:10:17.506 --> 01:10:19.586
Bob's your uncle, you ruddy duff cobblers!
1741
01:10:26.056 --> 01:10:27.306
Okay, Babs, this is it.
1742
01:10:27.474 --> 01:10:29.694
Fly us straight into that eye,
and wait for my signal.
1743
01:10:29.852 --> 01:10:30.982
Can it come now?
1744
01:10:31.145 --> 01:10:32.645
Can we make the signal thing happen?
1745
01:10:32.813 --> 01:10:33.813
Almost there.
1746
01:10:33.981 --> 01:10:35.861
<i>Almost there!</i>
1747
01:10:36.025 --> 01:10:38.145
- Fire!
- <b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>Almost there!</i>
1748
01:10:38.319 --> 01:10:39.588
<b><font color="#404040">ROBIN:</font></b> That fire's coming in hot!
1749
01:10:39.612 --> 01:10:40.652
Hot, hot, hot!
1750
01:10:41.113 --> 01:10:42.323
Now! Barbara, dive bomb!
1751
01:10:43.574 --> 01:10:44.834
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SAURON SCREAMS)</font></b>
1752
01:10:45.659 --> 01:10:47.449
<b><font color="#404040">SAURON:</font></b> My eye!
1753
01:10:48.037 --> 01:10:49.037
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL GASP)</font></b>
1754
01:10:49.663 --> 01:10:51.503
<b><font color="#404040">JOKER:</font></b> Sauron!
1755
01:10:51.999 --> 01:10:52.999
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b>
1756
01:10:54.084 --> 01:10:55.344
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(WHISTLING)</font></b>
1757
01:10:57.129 --> 01:10:58.589
Nothing to see.
1758
01:11:02.176 --> 01:11:04.426
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL GROANING)</font></b>
1759
01:11:05.262 --> 01:11:06.312
Whoo-hoo!
1760
01:11:06.513 --> 01:11:08.723
- Yes! That was so rad!
- We did it, everyone!
1761
01:11:08.891 --> 01:11:10.021
That was so great! Go team!
1762
01:11:10.184 --> 01:11:11.384
Come on, let's hear it for us!
1763
01:11:11.477 --> 01:11:12.829
- That was incredible!
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(WHOOPING)</font></b>
1764
01:11:12.853 --> 01:11:13.853
I felt so jazzed!
1765
01:11:14.021 --> 01:11:15.191
I say "jazzed"!
1766
01:11:15.356 --> 01:11:17.436
I gotta give it to you, Batman.
That was awesome.
1767
01:11:17.608 --> 01:11:19.048
- Ha! And you were awesome.
- Thanks.
1768
01:11:19.193 --> 01:11:20.503
<i>- And you were awesome.</i>
- I love compliments!
1769
01:11:20.527 --> 01:11:22.237
And you were awesome,
and I was amazing.
1770
01:11:22.404 --> 01:11:24.341
I'm not trying to make it
about myself, obviously.
1771
01:11:24.365 --> 01:11:26.885
But I just wanna make sure
that everyone gets a pat on the back.
1772
01:11:27.034 --> 01:11:28.595
- Because it feels good.
- It does feel good.
1773
01:11:28.619 --> 01:11:30.180
<i>You had a good idea, you had a good idea,</i>
1774
01:11:30.204 --> 01:11:32.214
and you had a good idea,
and I had a great idea.
1775
01:11:32.373 --> 01:11:34.654
You know what, I think that collectively,
I'm gonna add...
1776
01:11:36.210 --> 01:11:37.540
- ...one.
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(BEEPS)</font></b>
1777
01:11:37.753 --> 01:11:38.923
- No way!
- Yes!
1778
01:11:39.088 --> 01:11:40.168
Man, that feels good.
1779
01:11:40.339 --> 01:11:41.839
- Best team ever!
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHS)</font></b>
1780
01:11:42.007 --> 01:11:44.288
Let's take a photo!
All right, everyone, squeeze together.
1781
01:11:44.385 --> 01:11:45.425
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN:</font></b> Hang on a second.
1782
01:11:45.594 --> 01:11:47.474
- Nice and close!
- I gotta get my pump on.
1783
01:11:47.638 --> 01:11:48.823
- It's worth it.
- Okay, everybody in?
1784
01:11:48.847 --> 01:11:50.033
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN:</font></b> These abs are no fluke.
1785
01:11:50.057 --> 01:11:51.637
Everyone say, "Bat Family!"
1786
01:11:51.809 --> 01:11:53.209
- <b><font color="#404040">ALL:</font></b> Bat Family!
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(CAMERA CLICKS)</font></b>
1787
01:11:53.727 --> 01:11:55.147
Ooh, let's take a look!
1788
01:11:56.188 --> 01:11:57.358
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA: </font></b><i>Look at that!</i>
1789
01:11:57.523 --> 01:11:58.903
- Splendid.
- Wow.
1790
01:11:59.650 --> 01:12:01.240
Didn't it turn out great?
1791
01:12:02.069 --> 01:12:04.279
Hey, guys! It's my first family photo!
1792
01:12:05.197 --> 01:12:07.027
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL LAUGHING)</font></b>
1793
01:12:11.620 --> 01:12:13.960
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)</font></b>
1794
01:12:34.268 --> 01:12:35.598
- Hey, Bat-Dad.
- Oh!
1795
01:12:35.978 --> 01:12:37.598
Whoa. What are you doing?
1796
01:12:37.771 --> 01:12:40.021
I'm trying to give you a big, old H-U-G.
1797
01:12:40.190 --> 01:12:41.570
Okay, just...
1798
01:12:43.068 --> 01:12:44.988
Batman, are you okay?
1799
01:12:45.404 --> 01:12:47.364
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(STAMMERS)</font></b> Yeah, I'm fine.
1800
01:12:47.531 --> 01:12:49.661
We are just one big happy
1801
01:12:49.825 --> 01:12:53.365
fraternity of people
who did an awesome job together.
1802
01:12:54.788 --> 01:12:56.498
I can't think of any other way
to put that.
1803
01:12:56.665 --> 01:12:58.915
- Cool.
- So, guys, listen up!
1804
01:12:59.084 --> 01:13:00.714
Taking the Projector from the Joker
1805
01:13:00.878 --> 01:13:03.048
is gonna be our most
dangerous mission yet.
1806
01:13:03.213 --> 01:13:04.673
- A family battle mission!
- Right.
1807
01:13:04.840 --> 01:13:07.430
Salvage what you can out of the Scuttler,
and maybe root around,
1808
01:13:07.593 --> 01:13:09.279
see if you can find
a few Vitamin waters or something,
1809
01:13:09.303 --> 01:13:10.303
and then we'll head out.
1810
01:13:10.471 --> 01:13:12.311
- Right away, sir.
- Anything for you, <i>Padre.</i>
1811
01:13:17.394 --> 01:13:19.194
I think I'll need snowshoes.
1812
01:13:19.354 --> 01:13:22.864
Yeah, I don't think you'll need snowshoes,
but could you grab that flashlight?
1813
01:13:23.025 --> 01:13:24.105
- Batman?
<i>- Padre?</i>
1814
01:13:24.276 --> 01:13:25.316
Sir?
1815
01:13:25.486 --> 01:13:27.946
What are you doing?
Hey, Batman.
1816
01:13:28.113 --> 01:13:29.413
Please, wait!
1817
01:13:29.573 --> 01:13:30.783
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN:</font></b> 'Puter.
1818
01:13:32.576 --> 01:13:33.736
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>Yes, sir?</i>
1819
01:13:33.911 --> 01:13:35.621
I'm locking in some coordinates now.
1820
01:13:35.829 --> 01:13:36.959
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(IMITATES BEEPING)</font></b>
1821
01:13:37.164 --> 01:13:38.874
Take the Scuttler to the taco stand
1822
01:13:39.041 --> 01:13:40.921
on the border of Gotham City
and Blüdhaven.
1823
01:13:41.085 --> 01:13:42.335
<b><font color="#404040">ALL:</font></b> No!
1824
01:13:42.503 --> 01:13:44.564
I want you to get these guys
a couple of chimichangas
1825
01:13:44.588 --> 01:13:46.758
- and three Jarritos.
- Sir!
1826
01:13:46.924 --> 01:13:50.144
And then keep them there until this
whole attack on Gotham City blows over.
1827
01:13:50.302 --> 01:13:53.012
<i>Padre,</i> please. Don't do this!
1828
01:13:53.180 --> 01:13:55.180
Batman, you need us!
1829
01:13:55.516 --> 01:13:57.426
How many times I gotta tell you?
1830
01:13:58.060 --> 01:14:00.270
Batman works alone.
1831
01:14:00.896 --> 01:14:02.516
No, we have to stick together.
1832
01:14:03.899 --> 01:14:05.029
Please.
1833
01:14:05.192 --> 01:14:06.822
Now go on, Scuttler. Go!
1834
01:14:07.861 --> 01:14:09.661
- Go! Just get outta here.
- <b><font color="#404040">ALFRED:</font></b> Batman.
1835
01:14:09.822 --> 01:14:10.942
- <b><font color="#404040">ROBIN: </font></b><i>Padre!</i>
- Get moving!
1836
01:14:11.073 --> 01:14:12.243
- <b><font color="#404040">ROBIN:</font></b> Please!
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(SHOOING)</font></b>
1837
01:14:12.449 --> 01:14:13.449
Just go.
1838
01:14:13.617 --> 01:14:14.827
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA:</font></b> Batman! Please, wait!
1839
01:14:14.993 --> 01:14:16.453
Scuttler, move out!
1840
01:14:16.620 --> 01:14:18.120
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA:</font></b>
<i>You're doing the wrong thing!</i>
1841
01:14:18.288 --> 01:14:20.578
<i>- Listen to me! Don't do this!</i>
- <b><font color="#404040">ALFRED: </font></b><i>Sir, please. Sir!</i>
1842
01:14:20.749 --> 01:14:22.079
<b><font color="#404040">ROBIN: </font></b><i>No!</i>
1843
01:14:43.939 --> 01:14:46.209
<b><font color="#404040">AGENT SMITH:</font></b> Scanning for intruders.
Scanning for intruders.
1844
01:14:46.233 --> 01:14:47.783
Scanning for intruders.
1845
01:14:51.155 --> 01:14:52.155
<b><font color="#404040">JOKER:</font></b> Hi, Bats.
1846
01:14:52.322 --> 01:14:53.822
What have you done to my...
1847
01:14:53.991 --> 01:14:55.581
Bruce Wayne's house?
1848
01:14:55.742 --> 01:14:58.502
You'd better hope he's a cool guy
and doesn't go crazy.
1849
01:14:58.662 --> 01:15:00.332
What happened to all your friends?
1850
01:15:00.497 --> 01:15:03.707
I don't need friends.
I don't need anyone to stop you.
1851
01:15:04.376 --> 01:15:05.416
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(YELLS)</font></b>
1852
01:15:05.752 --> 01:15:07.212
<b><font color="#404040">JOKER:</font></b> Are you sure about that?
1853
01:15:07.379 --> 01:15:09.379
Look in the mirror, Batman.
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GRUNTS)</font></b>
1854
01:15:10.883 --> 01:15:13.763
When I saw you working
with your friend-family,
1855
01:15:14.553 --> 01:15:16.223
I actually thought you'd changed.
1856
01:15:16.972 --> 01:15:18.022
But, no.
1857
01:15:18.182 --> 01:15:19.602
- You pushed them away.
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GRUNTING)</font></b>
1858
01:15:23.061 --> 01:15:25.771
You've run away from every other person
in your life.
1859
01:15:25.939 --> 01:15:28.439
But I'm the one you're always chasing.
1860
01:15:28.609 --> 01:15:30.819
Is this about that stupid
"greatest enemy" thing?
1861
01:15:30.986 --> 01:15:32.446
No, it's not.
1862
01:15:33.780 --> 01:15:34.950
Not anymore.
1863
01:15:35.115 --> 01:15:36.426
<b><font color="#404040">VELOCIRAPTOR:</font></b> You tell him, Joker!
1864
01:15:36.450 --> 01:15:37.810
<b><font color="#404040">JAWS:</font></b> It's time for a fresh start.
1865
01:15:37.868 --> 01:15:38.988
<b><font color="#404040">DALEKS: </font></b><i>He's not worth it.</i>
1866
01:15:39.161 --> 01:15:42.581
I think after 78 years,
I deserve respect!
1867
01:15:42.748 --> 01:15:44.538
That is right. Respect!
1868
01:15:45.125 --> 01:15:49.295
Do you realize that you have never once
1869
01:15:49.463 --> 01:15:51.133
said the words,
1870
01:15:51.298 --> 01:15:52.668
"I hate you, Joker"?
1871
01:15:52.841 --> 01:15:53.931
Not once.
1872
01:15:54.092 --> 01:15:57.222
Well, I am starting to feel
pretty annoyed with you right now.
1873
01:15:57.387 --> 01:15:58.427
That's for darn sure.
1874
01:15:58.597 --> 01:16:00.927
Annoyed is not the same thing!
1875
01:16:01.642 --> 01:16:03.562
Listen, Batman.
1876
01:16:04.102 --> 01:16:05.812
I...
1877
01:16:05.979 --> 01:16:07.229
hate you.
1878
01:16:07.397 --> 01:16:09.107
- <b><font color="#404040">ALL:</font></b> Aww!
- That's nice.
1879
01:16:09.900 --> 01:16:10.980
Now you say it.
1880
01:16:13.153 --> 01:16:14.153
Me, too.
1881
01:16:14.363 --> 01:16:15.993
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL JEERING)</font></b>
1882
01:16:18.033 --> 01:16:20.493
You won't. You won't change.
1883
01:16:20.661 --> 01:16:23.331
'Cause you can't.
You won't, and you can't.
1884
01:16:23.497 --> 01:16:25.077
<b><font color="#404040">JAWS:</font></b> Batman will never change.
1885
01:16:25.249 --> 01:16:27.289
You know what, boo-boo?
Just shut it down.
1886
01:16:27.459 --> 01:16:29.499
These diseased lunatics are right.
1887
01:16:29.670 --> 01:16:30.670
Yes, we are!
1888
01:16:30.837 --> 01:16:33.087
I am not gonna be part
1889
01:16:33.257 --> 01:16:35.757
of a one-sided relationship any longer!
1890
01:16:35.926 --> 01:16:37.320
- <b><font color="#404040">HARLEY QUINN: </font></b><i>Yes!</i>
- What are you talking about?
1891
01:16:37.344 --> 01:16:39.184
- You and I are done!
- What is wrong with you?
1892
01:16:39.346 --> 01:16:40.346
I'm moving on!
1893
01:16:40.514 --> 01:16:41.684
That's ridiculous.
1894
01:16:41.848 --> 01:16:43.518
And on my way out,
1895
01:16:43.684 --> 01:16:46.774
I'm gonna blow up Gotham City!
1896
01:16:46.937 --> 01:16:48.727
No. You're not serious.
1897
01:16:48.897 --> 01:16:49.977
<i>Wingardium Leviosa!</i>
1898
01:16:50.649 --> 01:16:51.779
No!
1899
01:16:51.942 --> 01:16:53.992
You know what?
For once, Batman, you're right.
1900
01:16:54.152 --> 01:16:56.362
I'm not your greatest enemy.
1901
01:16:56.530 --> 01:16:58.320
Your greatest enemy
1902
01:16:58.490 --> 01:16:59.740
is you.
1903
01:16:59.908 --> 01:17:02.348
<i>- Goodbye, Batman.</i>
- Wait a minute. Hold on a second. <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GROANS)</font></b>
1904
01:17:02.452 --> 01:17:03.892
<b><font color="#404040">HARLEY QUINN: </font></b><i>Good for you, boo-boo!</i>
1905
01:17:04.037 --> 01:17:06.367
- <b><font color="#404040">ALL:</font></b> Yay!
- Everybody, get a bomb. Let's go.
1906
01:17:06.540 --> 01:17:08.790
- Bomb, bomb, bomb. Let's bomb it out.
- <b><font color="#404040">ALL:</font></b> Yay!
1907
01:17:09.543 --> 01:17:10.883
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL WHOOPING)</font></b>
1908
01:17:13.046 --> 01:17:15.166
<b><font color="#404040">KING KONG:</font></b>
<i>Say goodbye, Gotham City!</i>
1909
01:17:26.351 --> 01:17:27.941
- Whoa.
<i>- Hi!</i>
1910
01:17:28.186 --> 01:17:29.186
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b>
<i>- Whoa!</i>
1911
01:17:29.563 --> 01:17:31.063
Oh, I am so sorry.
1912
01:17:31.231 --> 01:17:32.709
<i>It was all my fault, I keep doing that.</i>
1913
01:17:32.733 --> 01:17:34.943
<i>Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy.</i>
1914
01:17:35.110 --> 01:17:36.470
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b>
What are you talking about?
1915
01:17:36.528 --> 01:17:37.528
I'm not a bad guy.
1916
01:17:37.696 --> 01:17:39.406
<i>But you're all in black.
You have a cape.</i>
1917
01:17:39.573 --> 01:17:40.823
<i>And you wear a big, scary mask.</i>
1918
01:17:40.991 --> 01:17:41.991
Well, I'm not.
1919
01:17:42.159 --> 01:17:43.449
<i>And you kicked me in the face.</i>
1920
01:17:43.618 --> 01:17:45.498
Listen, I'm Batman.
1921
01:17:45.871 --> 01:17:47.581
<i>Oof! You even sound like a bad guy.</i>
1922
01:17:47.748 --> 01:17:49.208
I swear, I am a good guy.
1923
01:17:49.374 --> 01:17:51.134
<i>Okay, Mr. Batman.</i>
1924
01:17:51.293 --> 01:17:52.963
<i>Hold still while I scan you.</i>
1925
01:17:53.253 --> 01:17:54.923
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(MIMICS BEEPING)</font></b>
<i>Scanning for badness.</i>
1926
01:17:55.088 --> 01:17:56.088
<i>Yes, sir?</i>
1927
01:17:56.256 --> 01:17:58.086
<i>- You're super nimble, right?
- I sure am!</i>
1928
01:17:58.258 --> 01:18:00.258
<i>And 110% expendable?</i>
1929
01:18:00.427 --> 01:18:02.217
<i>I don't know what that means, but okay.</i>
1930
01:18:02.387 --> 01:18:03.531
<i>- How'd I do, Dad?
- Mediocre.</i>
1931
01:18:03.555 --> 01:18:05.305
<i>- Yes!
- And don't call me Dad.</i>
1932
01:18:05.766 --> 01:18:06.766
<i>Sorry.</i>
1933
01:18:08.727 --> 01:18:11.267
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>Alfred, put that kid
on the next jet to the orphanage.</i>
1934
01:18:11.938 --> 01:18:16.188
<i>But doesn't he deserve a chance
for someone to take him under their wing,</i>
1935
01:18:16.568 --> 01:18:19.398
<i>as I took you under mine?</i>
1936
01:18:19.738 --> 01:18:21.618
<i>Listen, you don't have a family.</i>
1937
01:18:21.948 --> 01:18:24.448
<i>So what do you know about
having a surrogate son?</i>
1938
01:18:28.038 --> 01:18:29.038
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA: </font></b><i>Batman!</i>
1939
01:18:29.873 --> 01:18:31.963
<i>We have to stick together.</i>
1940
01:18:32.667 --> 01:18:33.747
<i>Please.</i>
1941
01:18:36.046 --> 01:18:39.256
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>Joker, you mean nothing to me.</i>
1942
01:18:41.843 --> 01:18:43.103
<i>No one does.</i>
1943
01:18:47.057 --> 01:18:49.937
<i>Huh. You're not a traditional bad guy.</i>
1944
01:18:50.769 --> 01:18:53.229
<i>But you're not exactly a good guy, either.</i>
1945
01:18:53.438 --> 01:18:54.598
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA: </font></b><i>Batman?</i>
<b><font color="#404040">ROBIN:</font></b> Padre?
1946
01:18:55.023 --> 01:18:56.663
<b><font color="#404040">PHYLLIS: </font></b><i>You even abandoned your friends.</i>
1947
01:18:56.817 --> 01:18:57.857
What?
1948
01:18:58.026 --> 01:18:59.436
<i>Go on, Scuttler. Go.</i>
1949
01:18:59.611 --> 01:19:01.111
<i>- Batman, no. No!
- Don't do this!</i>
1950
01:19:01.279 --> 01:19:02.659
Abandoned? No.
1951
01:19:02.823 --> 01:19:04.413
No, I was trying to protect them.
1952
01:19:04.574 --> 01:19:06.374
<b><font color="#404040">PHYLLIS: </font></b><i>By pushing them away?</i>
1953
01:19:06.535 --> 01:19:07.735
Well, yeah.
1954
01:19:08.912 --> 01:19:11.422
<i>Are they really
the ones you're protecting?</i>
1955
01:19:14.626 --> 01:19:16.496
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA: </font></b><i>Computer, Batman's in danger.</i>
1956
01:19:16.670 --> 01:19:18.550
<b><font color="#404040">ROBIN: </font></b><i>Please, Computer, take us back!</i>
1957
01:19:18.713 --> 01:19:20.913
<i>Do you really want the man
who made you to come to harm?</i>
1958
01:19:21.007 --> 01:19:23.137
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>Batman programmed me
to obey him.</i>
1959
01:19:23.301 --> 01:19:25.181
<i>But he didn't say to not not rescue him.</i>
1960
01:19:25.345 --> 01:19:26.595
What are they doing?
1961
01:19:26.763 --> 01:19:28.063
Come on, guys. Let's hustle.
1962
01:19:28.223 --> 01:19:30.433
Gotham City's not gonna blow itself up.
1963
01:19:31.435 --> 01:19:33.015
<i>Well, hello!</i>
1964
01:19:38.567 --> 01:19:40.737
'Puter, go to super-secret stealth mode.
1965
01:19:40.902 --> 01:19:43.822
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(ROARS)</font></b>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL SCREAMING)</font></b>
1966
01:19:43.989 --> 01:19:45.739
- Hold on!
- No!
1967
01:19:45.907 --> 01:19:49.367
Evil buddies, those are my last three
painful reminders of Batman.
1968
01:19:49.536 --> 01:19:50.906
Run!
1969
01:19:51.079 --> 01:19:52.369
Come on, Alfred. This way.
1970
01:19:52.539 --> 01:19:53.789
Wait, where's Dick?
1971
01:19:53.957 --> 01:19:55.237
<i>The little guy? He's over there.</i>
1972
01:19:55.292 --> 01:19:56.727
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>Initializing Batcave
operating system.</i>
1973
01:19:56.751 --> 01:19:58.041
What's he doing?
1974
01:19:58.211 --> 01:19:59.711
<i>I've gotta save my family!</i>
1975
01:19:59.880 --> 01:20:00.880
Just think.
1976
01:20:01.047 --> 01:20:03.047
- What would Batman do?
- What?
1977
01:20:03.216 --> 01:20:06.136
I know. Not listen to anyone else.
Be mean to people.
1978
01:20:06.386 --> 01:20:08.046
Destroy as much property as possible.
1979
01:20:08.221 --> 01:20:10.221
Talk in a really low, gravelly voice.
1980
01:20:10.390 --> 01:20:11.890
And go it alone.
1981
01:20:12.058 --> 01:20:13.188
Kid, don't do that.
1982
01:20:13.393 --> 01:20:14.773
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>Atomic batteries to power.</i>
1983
01:20:14.936 --> 01:20:15.936
<i>Turbines to speed.</i>
1984
01:20:16.104 --> 01:20:17.114
Don't do what I would do!
1985
01:20:17.272 --> 01:20:18.752
<i>I never even taught you how to drive!</i>
1986
01:20:18.899 --> 01:20:20.649
Hold on a second, Brick Lady.
1987
01:20:20.817 --> 01:20:23.254
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(STAMMERING)</font></b> I'm so sorry.
I need to get down there and stop this.
1988
01:20:23.278 --> 01:20:25.818
<i>I can't let you go.
My boss will be really mad at me.</i>
1989
01:20:25.989 --> 01:20:27.549
Yeah. But I bet
your boss would be happy
1990
01:20:27.657 --> 01:20:29.857
if you were able to get
all those bad guys back in here.
1991
01:20:29.951 --> 01:20:31.241
<i>Hmm. She sure would.</i>
1992
01:20:31.411 --> 01:20:33.751
Then let me try.
Let me get down there and help them.
1993
01:20:33.914 --> 01:20:35.874
<i>But haven't you tried that before?</i>
1994
01:20:37.501 --> 01:20:38.921
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA: </font></b><i>This way, Alfred.</i>
1995
01:20:40.420 --> 01:20:43.050
<i>You do the same thing over and over.</i>
1996
01:20:44.299 --> 01:20:46.929
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SCREAMING)</font></b>
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ROARING)</font></b>
1997
01:20:47.093 --> 01:20:48.553
<i>What's gonna change?</i>
1998
01:20:48.720 --> 01:20:49.760
<i>No!</i>
1999
01:20:51.640 --> 01:20:53.480
I know what I need to do.
2000
01:20:53.642 --> 01:20:55.942
Just give me 24 hours,
and I'll come back.
2001
01:20:56.811 --> 01:20:58.271
Whoa!
2002
01:20:58.438 --> 01:21:00.318
You've gotta let me go
down there and save them.
2003
01:21:02.859 --> 01:21:03.899
I'll do whatever you want.
2004
01:21:04.027 --> 01:21:05.027
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GRUNTING)</font></b>
2005
01:21:05.195 --> 01:21:07.315
- Please.
- <b><font color="#404040">DALEKS: </font></b><i>Exterminate!</i>
2006
01:21:07.489 --> 01:21:08.489
Please.
2007
01:21:08.657 --> 01:21:10.697
<i>Okay, but I need all the bad guys
locked up in here.</i>
2008
01:21:10.742 --> 01:21:11.952
I promise.
2009
01:21:14.454 --> 01:21:16.624
<i>And I mean all of them.</i>
2010
01:21:18.124 --> 01:21:19.844
One of these buttons
has to save my friends.
2011
01:21:20.460 --> 01:21:21.646
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>Self-destruct mode activated.</i>
2012
01:21:21.670 --> 01:21:22.670
Self what?
2013
01:21:22.879 --> 01:21:23.879
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ROBIN SCREAMING)</font></b>
2014
01:21:24.047 --> 01:21:25.757
- Master Dick!
- No!
2015
01:21:25.924 --> 01:21:27.304
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(CONTINUES SCREAMING)</font></b>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(ROARING)</font></b>
2016
01:21:28.134 --> 01:21:29.764
- Dick!
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(SCREAMING)</font></b>
2017
01:21:29.928 --> 01:21:31.718
Look who's bat!
2018
01:21:33.348 --> 01:21:34.808
<b><font color="#404040">ROBIN:</font></b> What?
2019
01:21:37.227 --> 01:21:38.897
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL GRUNTING)</font></b>
2020
01:21:43.149 --> 01:21:45.649
Everyone okay? Dick, Alfred, Barbara.
2021
01:21:45.819 --> 01:21:47.819
<i>- Are you guys...</i>
- We're fine, Batman.
2022
01:21:50.574 --> 01:21:53.834
Listen, I just wanted to say
2023
01:21:56.663 --> 01:21:58.333
that I'm really,
2024
01:21:59.416 --> 01:22:01.666
really, really,
2025
01:22:03.295 --> 01:22:04.835
really, really, really,
2026
01:22:05.005 --> 01:22:06.335
really, really...
2027
01:22:07.507 --> 01:22:09.047
s-s-s...
2028
01:22:10.093 --> 01:22:11.343
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(CLEARS THROAT)</font></b>
2029
01:22:12.345 --> 01:22:15.265
Soooo...
2030
01:22:16.725 --> 01:22:17.725
Sorry?
2031
01:22:17.892 --> 01:22:19.942
Yeah. Whoo! I did it!
2032
01:22:21.396 --> 01:22:22.436
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SIGHS)</font></b>
2033
01:22:23.064 --> 01:22:25.324
I don't even know why
you bothered coming back.
2034
01:22:28.194 --> 01:22:29.824
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>I was</i>
2035
01:22:30.697 --> 01:22:31.697
<i>afraid.</i>
2036
01:22:32.657 --> 01:22:33.827
What?
2037
01:22:35.702 --> 01:22:37.542
The reason I came back
2038
01:22:38.204 --> 01:22:40.044
was the same reason I left you.
2039
01:22:43.043 --> 01:22:44.713
I was afraid
2040
01:22:46.171 --> 01:22:47.761
of feeling
2041
01:22:49.007 --> 01:22:51.377
the pain you feel
2042
01:22:52.886 --> 01:22:54.546
when you lose
2043
01:22:55.722 --> 01:22:58.142
someone close to you.
2044
01:23:06.024 --> 01:23:08.074
Gotham needs us.
2045
01:23:08.610 --> 01:23:11.740
So I came back to do this.
2046
01:23:12.322 --> 01:23:13.322
Flip.
2047
01:23:14.949 --> 01:23:16.789
Flip? What is that? I don't...
2048
01:23:17.160 --> 01:23:18.500
You gotta turn around.
2049
01:23:20.497 --> 01:23:23.037
<i>I call it the Babs-Signal.</i>
2050
01:23:23.208 --> 01:23:25.708
<i>And I'm flipping the switch for you.</i>
2051
01:23:25.877 --> 01:23:29.917
Because saving this city
is too big a job for one person.
2052
01:23:30.090 --> 01:23:31.590
Flip, flip.
2053
01:23:36.429 --> 01:23:38.769
<i>So, what do you say, Commish?</i>
2054
01:23:38.932 --> 01:23:41.562
Will you work with me?
2055
01:23:42.102 --> 01:23:43.852
I need your help.
2056
01:23:45.271 --> 01:23:47.111
I thought you'd never ask.
2057
01:23:48.608 --> 01:23:51.238
I'm very, very proud of you, sir.
2058
01:23:51.403 --> 01:23:55.573
But there's still only four of us
against Joker's entire army.
2059
01:23:55.740 --> 01:23:57.740
That's why I called in some backup.
2060
01:23:57.909 --> 01:23:59.909
Flip! Flip! Flip! Flip!
2061
01:24:01.246 --> 01:24:03.326
- Whoa!
- <b><font color="#404040">CLAYFACE:</font></b> We saw your signal,
2062
01:24:03.540 --> 01:24:04.540
and we came to help.
2063
01:24:04.958 --> 01:24:07.588
Joker may be done with us,
but we're not done with him.
2064
01:24:07.752 --> 01:24:09.962
We will be the Joker's reckoning.
2065
01:24:10.130 --> 01:24:12.090
Joker said mean stuff to us.
2066
01:24:12.465 --> 01:24:14.085
You were right, Barbara.
2067
01:24:14.259 --> 01:24:16.969
It takes a village. Not a Batman.
2068
01:24:17.220 --> 01:24:18.510
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL CHEER)</font></b>
2069
01:24:19.556 --> 01:24:21.466
Okay. Everybody, listen up.
2070
01:24:21.641 --> 01:24:25.311
<i>These monsters want to destroy
Gotham City.</i>
2071
01:24:25.478 --> 01:24:27.648
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>That's right.
We need sick new vehicles.</i>
2072
01:24:27.814 --> 01:24:29.774
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA: </font></b><i>An arsenal of advanced weaponry.</i>
2073
01:24:29.941 --> 01:24:32.491
Costumes that suit
our individual personalities.
2074
01:24:32.652 --> 01:24:33.652
Rip!
2075
01:24:33.820 --> 01:24:35.910
And code names
to use on our walkie-talkies.
2076
01:24:36.072 --> 01:24:37.072
Call it out!
2077
01:24:37.240 --> 01:24:38.530
Your name is Lady Bat.
2078
01:24:38.700 --> 01:24:39.900
- Lady Bat?
- <b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>Bat Lady.</i>
2079
01:24:39.951 --> 01:24:42.831
- Veto! Nope. What?
- <b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>El Batarina. Soccer Mom... Bat?</i>
2080
01:24:43.037 --> 01:24:44.657
How about a cool costume?
2081
01:24:44.831 --> 01:24:45.831
Nice!
2082
01:24:45.999 --> 01:24:47.379
That one's called Batgirl.
2083
01:24:47.542 --> 01:24:49.632
If you call me Batgirl,
can I call you Batboy?
2084
01:24:49.794 --> 01:24:52.304
And lastly, a coordinated attack strategy,
2085
01:24:52.464 --> 01:24:54.014
and a kick-butt theme song!
2086
01:24:54.174 --> 01:24:55.184
Robin?
2087
01:24:55.800 --> 01:24:57.470
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b> My superhero code name.
2088
01:24:57.635 --> 01:24:58.885
Oh, yeah. Hit it!
2089
01:24:59.053 --> 01:25:00.053
Got it!
2090
01:25:00.221 --> 01:25:01.851
<b><font color="#DF01D7">('80S POP SONG PLAYING)</font></b>
2091
01:25:02.182 --> 01:25:04.432
- No!
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(OTHER '80S POP SONG PLAYING)</font></b>
2092
01:25:05.518 --> 01:25:07.558
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GROANS)</font></b>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(ROBIN SONG PLAYING)</font></b>
2093
01:25:07.771 --> 01:25:08.811
Absolutely not.
2094
01:25:09.022 --> 01:25:11.402
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(POP MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GROWLING)</font></b>
2095
01:25:11.816 --> 01:25:14.936
This music is filling me with rage.
2096
01:25:15.111 --> 01:25:16.491
Let's use it!
2097
01:25:17.947 --> 01:25:20.217
All right, team. I'm going to need to
know your special powers.
2098
01:25:20.241 --> 01:25:21.241
I'm a giant clay person!
2099
01:25:21.409 --> 01:25:23.169
- I'm irritating.
- I have a sack for a face.
2100
01:25:23.244 --> 01:25:24.472
I make unpredictable decisions.
2101
01:25:24.496 --> 01:25:25.496
I raise the stakes!
2102
01:25:25.663 --> 01:25:26.963
I can squirt ketchup!
2103
01:25:27.123 --> 01:25:28.543
Nice! Orca.
2104
01:25:28.708 --> 01:25:30.288
I'm a whale!
2105
01:25:30.460 --> 01:25:31.920
Oh, we got this covered!
2106
01:25:32.086 --> 01:25:33.126
<i>Go team!</i>
2107
01:25:34.798 --> 01:25:35.798
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL WHOOPING)</font></b>
2108
01:25:35.965 --> 01:25:36.965
Whale, yeah!
2109
01:25:38.676 --> 01:25:40.154
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(POP MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)</font></b>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL LAUGHING)</font></b>
2110
01:25:40.178 --> 01:25:41.928
Shh. Quiet.
2111
01:25:42.096 --> 01:25:44.136
Who's laying down those funky beats?
2112
01:25:44.307 --> 01:25:46.387
<b><font color="#404040">ALL: </font></b><i>We are!</i>
CAT<b><font color="#404040">WOMAN: </font></b><i>Meow, meow!</i>
2113
01:25:46.559 --> 01:25:47.889
Batman?
2114
01:25:48.061 --> 01:25:49.811
Evil army, get rid of them!
2115
01:25:50.688 --> 01:25:52.188
Team Gotham Family,
2116
01:25:52.357 --> 01:25:53.437
<i>activate!</i>
2117
01:25:53.608 --> 01:25:54.728
Voldy's got this.
2118
01:25:57.111 --> 01:25:58.781
<b><font color="#404040">VILLAINS:</font></b> Here we go!
2119
01:25:59.364 --> 01:26:00.704
Yeah!
2120
01:26:02.075 --> 01:26:03.445
<b><font color="#404040">VOLDEMORT: </font></b><i>Bombarda!</i>
2121
01:26:04.160 --> 01:26:05.500
Smash! Smash! Smash!
2122
01:26:08.331 --> 01:26:11.131
- Whoa.
- Batman, take out Joker's bomb.
2123
01:26:11.292 --> 01:26:12.922
I'll get that Projector!
2124
01:26:13.086 --> 01:26:14.246
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>10-4, Co-Go.</i>
2125
01:26:15.463 --> 01:26:17.513
Freeze, Clayface, take this guy out!
2126
01:26:17.924 --> 01:26:19.804
Coming through!
2127
01:26:21.344 --> 01:26:22.804
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(YELLS)</font></b>
2128
01:26:24.264 --> 01:26:25.814
Okay, Alfred, bring the pain.
2129
01:26:25.974 --> 01:26:26.984
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(TIRES SCREECHING)</font></b>
2130
01:26:27.767 --> 01:26:30.767
Bringing it, sir. For Queen and country!
2131
01:26:31.354 --> 01:26:32.364
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHS)</font></b>
2132
01:26:32.647 --> 01:26:34.107
You just got Union Jacked!
2133
01:26:36.776 --> 01:26:37.856
Robin, get ready.
2134
01:26:38.027 --> 01:26:39.947
I'm about to teach you
some father-and-son stuff.
2135
01:26:40.780 --> 01:26:42.120
First, driving.
2136
01:26:42.282 --> 01:26:44.122
- Put your hands at 10 and 2.
- Okay.
2137
01:26:44.284 --> 01:26:46.874
Now, fly! Turn left!
2138
01:26:47.704 --> 01:26:49.084
Run over these skeletons.
2139
01:26:49.247 --> 01:26:50.617
Now drive up the wall!
2140
01:26:52.083 --> 01:26:53.963
- Great driving.
- Thanks, <i>Padre.</i>
2141
01:26:55.461 --> 01:26:56.461
Yeah!
2142
01:26:57.630 --> 01:26:58.670
Okay, Robin.
2143
01:26:58.840 --> 01:27:00.970
Together, we're gonna
punch these guys so hard,
2144
01:27:01.134 --> 01:27:02.644
words describing the impact
2145
01:27:02.802 --> 01:27:05.642
are gonna spontaneously materialize
out of thin air.
2146
01:27:05.805 --> 01:27:06.885
Yeah!
2147
01:27:12.186 --> 01:27:13.516
Yes! Yes! Yes!
2148
01:27:17.275 --> 01:27:18.275
High five!
2149
01:27:18.568 --> 01:27:20.698
Stop moving around, you Muggles.
2150
01:27:20.904 --> 01:27:23.034
All right, team, let's shut him down.
2151
01:27:23.740 --> 01:27:25.780
- Orca! You're up, baby!
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(ORCA YELLS)</font></b>
2152
01:27:26.367 --> 01:27:28.197
You wanna see a magic trick?
2153
01:27:28.369 --> 01:27:30.159
I'm gonna make you disappear.
2154
01:27:30.330 --> 01:27:33.080
<i>- Wingardium Levio...</i>
- Me-yoink!
2155
01:27:33.249 --> 01:27:35.169
<i>Wingardium Levio...</i> Shut up!
2156
01:27:35.335 --> 01:27:36.335
No!
2157
01:27:36.502 --> 01:27:38.172
<i>Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy!</i>
2158
01:27:38.338 --> 01:27:39.338
Fudgecake!
2159
01:27:40.173 --> 01:27:41.673
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA: </font></b><i>Whoo!
Here we go, Bat Team!</i>
2160
01:27:41.841 --> 01:27:43.181
Batman, think fast!
2161
01:27:46.346 --> 01:27:48.056
<i>Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy!</i>
2162
01:27:48.222 --> 01:27:49.222
Robin, go long.
2163
01:27:49.390 --> 01:27:51.270
<i>- Nice grab.</i>
- Yeah!
2164
01:27:53.311 --> 01:27:55.061
<b><font color="#404040">PHYLLIS: </font></b><i>Oh, my gosh. Yes!</i>
2165
01:27:55.229 --> 01:27:56.229
Here you go, Grandpa.
2166
01:27:58.274 --> 01:27:59.284
Hey, Batman!
2167
01:28:01.069 --> 01:28:02.649
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GROWLING)</font></b>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GRUNTING)</font></b>
2168
01:28:02.862 --> 01:28:04.782
Get off my <i>padre!</i>
2169
01:28:06.074 --> 01:28:07.874
It wasn't useless after all.
2170
01:28:08.034 --> 01:28:09.704
End this, Batgirl!
2171
01:28:12.246 --> 01:28:14.166
<i>Adiós,</i> shark.
2172
01:28:15.750 --> 01:28:17.920
Okay, BRB, guys.
I'm gonna go defuse that...
2173
01:28:31.599 --> 01:28:33.269
This is the end of Gotham City!
2174
01:28:34.560 --> 01:28:36.980
<i>As I predicted, we're doomed!</i>
2175
01:28:38.356 --> 01:28:40.016
We're not doomed. I got this.
2176
01:28:41.567 --> 01:28:42.817
Everyone, grab on to me.
2177
01:28:42.986 --> 01:28:44.106
Gotcha.
2178
01:28:44.278 --> 01:28:46.858
Come on, guys.
We need to hold this city together.
2179
01:28:49.367 --> 01:28:50.617
Batrope, no!
2180
01:28:50.785 --> 01:28:52.405
Everybody, run!
2181
01:28:52.578 --> 01:28:54.578
No! We have to stick together.
2182
01:28:54.747 --> 01:28:55.747
Right, Batman?
2183
01:28:55.915 --> 01:28:57.245
We need to use our heads!
2184
01:28:57.417 --> 01:28:59.057
Maybe we should build something together.
2185
01:28:59.085 --> 01:29:00.396
<b><font color="#404040">ALFRED: </font></b><i>Heads.</i>
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA: </font></b><i>Stick together.</i>
2186
01:29:00.420 --> 01:29:02.260
<b><font color="#404040">ROBIN: </font></b><i>Build something.</i>
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA: </font></b><i>Together.</i>
2187
01:29:02.422 --> 01:29:04.422
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(ECHOING)</font></b> <i>Build.
- Together. Together.</i>
2188
01:29:04.590 --> 01:29:06.230
<b><font color="#404040">ROBIN:</font></b>
<i>We should build something together.</i>
2189
01:29:07.427 --> 01:29:08.467
I got it.
2190
01:29:08.636 --> 01:29:11.556
You're right, Babs.
We need to stick together.
2191
01:29:11.723 --> 01:29:13.063
Literally.
2192
01:29:13.224 --> 01:29:14.434
Robin, quick. Give me a boost.
2193
01:29:14.600 --> 01:29:15.600
On it, <i>Padre.</i>
2194
01:29:15.768 --> 01:29:17.808
We're gonna stick together,
using our heads,
2195
01:29:17.979 --> 01:29:20.359
and the most powerful weapon of all.
2196
01:29:20.523 --> 01:29:22.943
Shredded abs. Let's do this.
2197
01:29:23.109 --> 01:29:24.503
CAT<b><font color="#404040">WOMAN:</font></b> Meow, meow.
<b><font color="#404040">ALL:</font></b> Yeah, let's do this.
2198
01:29:24.527 --> 01:29:25.737
- Ready?
- Here we go.
2199
01:29:25.903 --> 01:29:26.953
You got this, Alfred?
2200
01:29:27.113 --> 01:29:28.873
Yes, sir. Abs of steel.
2201
01:29:29.032 --> 01:29:31.122
Great! Now you bend,
2202
01:29:31.284 --> 01:29:33.414
and I'll grab the other side!
2203
01:29:34.328 --> 01:29:35.368
No!
2204
01:29:35.538 --> 01:29:37.498
<b><font color="#404040">MAN: </font></b><i>Batman, what's going on?</i>
<b><font color="#404040">ROBIN: </font></b><i>Are you okay?</i>
2205
01:29:37.790 --> 01:29:39.250
<b><font color="#404040">CLAYFACE:</font></b> I've got you.
2206
01:29:39.667 --> 01:29:40.997
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(STRAINING)</font></b>
2207
01:29:41.669 --> 01:29:42.669
Joker!
2208
01:29:42.837 --> 01:29:44.837
<i>Please, help us!</i>
2209
01:29:45.006 --> 01:29:46.626
No! I'm not gonna help you.
2210
01:29:46.799 --> 01:29:50.549
At least if this city is destroyed,
I'll die knowing
2211
01:29:50.720 --> 01:29:52.470
I'm your greatest enemy!
2212
01:29:52.638 --> 01:29:54.678
I'm gonna have to die to know it.
2213
01:29:54.849 --> 01:29:57.889
Shut up, Joker! If there's no Gotham,
2214
01:29:58.061 --> 01:30:00.191
then I'll never get to fight you again.
2215
01:30:01.314 --> 01:30:02.614
What?
2216
01:30:03.483 --> 01:30:05.903
You're the reason why I get up
at 4:00 in the afternoon
2217
01:30:06.069 --> 01:30:08.609
and pump iron
until my chest is positively sick.
2218
01:30:09.197 --> 01:30:10.487
<i>You're the reason I've given up</i>
2219
01:30:10.656 --> 01:30:13.826
<i>a life spent with Russian ballerinas
and lady activewear models.</i>
2220
01:30:14.452 --> 01:30:15.832
And if it wasn't for you,
2221
01:30:15.995 --> 01:30:19.245
I never would have learned how connected
I am with all these people.
2222
01:30:20.249 --> 01:30:21.249
And you.
2223
01:30:23.044 --> 01:30:25.554
<i>So if you help me save Gotham,</i>
2224
01:30:27.799 --> 01:30:29.589
you'll help me save us.
2225
01:30:30.593 --> 01:30:32.893
You just said "us."
2226
01:30:33.054 --> 01:30:37.144
Yeah. Batman and the Joker.
2227
01:30:38.976 --> 01:30:40.646
<i>What do you say?</i>
2228
01:30:41.479 --> 01:30:43.479
You had me at shut up.
2229
01:30:45.358 --> 01:30:46.648
How are your abs, bro?
2230
01:30:46.818 --> 01:30:50.028
Too much flab, not enough ab.
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(CHUCKLES)</font></b> Why?
2231
01:30:50.196 --> 01:30:51.946
Because I need you to crunch them.
2232
01:30:52.323 --> 01:30:53.743
<i>Citizens of Gotham,</i>
2233
01:30:53.908 --> 01:30:58.698
<i>we need all of you to join us
and help bring this city back together.</i>
2234
01:30:58.913 --> 01:31:00.923
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(STRAINING)</font></b>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL STRAINING)</font></b>
2235
01:31:12.343 --> 01:31:13.893
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL CHEERING)</font></b>
2236
01:31:21.853 --> 01:31:23.273
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(WHOOPING)</font></b>
2237
01:31:24.897 --> 01:31:27.067
I'm just gonna come right out and say it.
2238
01:31:27.233 --> 01:31:29.533
- I hate you, Joker.
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b>
2239
01:31:29.777 --> 01:31:31.647
- I hate you, too.
- I hate you more.
2240
01:31:31.821 --> 01:31:33.571
I hate you the most.
2241
01:31:33.739 --> 01:31:35.529
I hate you forever.
2242
01:31:36.075 --> 01:31:37.115
Splendid!
2243
01:31:38.786 --> 01:31:39.946
We did it, everyone!
2244
01:31:44.750 --> 01:31:47.000
<b><font color="#404040">BANE:</font></b> Bane is feeling warm and fuzzy.
2245
01:31:50.548 --> 01:31:51.798
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(THUNDER RUMBLING)</font></b>
2246
01:31:52.049 --> 01:31:53.089
<b><font color="#404040">ROBIN:</font></b> Padre,
2247
01:31:53.926 --> 01:31:55.006
where are you going?
2248
01:31:56.137 --> 01:31:57.757
I made a promise.
2249
01:31:57.930 --> 01:31:59.850
I gotta go back to the Phantom Zone.
2250
01:32:00.892 --> 01:32:01.982
<i>Sorry, kid.</i>
2251
01:32:02.143 --> 01:32:04.103
<i>Padre,</i> please.
2252
01:32:04.270 --> 01:32:06.270
Don't call me <i>Padre.</i>
2253
01:32:06.772 --> 01:32:08.192
Okay.
2254
01:32:08.774 --> 01:32:09.864
Call me...
2255
01:32:13.905 --> 01:32:15.065
Dads.
2256
01:32:15.323 --> 01:32:18.993
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GASPS)</font></b> My two dads are the same dad.
2257
01:32:20.077 --> 01:32:22.787
But they're both leaving.
2258
01:32:23.956 --> 01:32:25.576
It's gonna be okay, kid.
2259
01:32:27.168 --> 01:32:29.668
Sometimes, losing people is part of life.
2260
01:32:30.504 --> 01:32:33.474
But that doesn't mean
you stop letting them in.
2261
01:32:34.175 --> 01:32:37.135
<i>Some very wise people taught me that.</i>
2262
01:32:37.970 --> 01:32:39.470
<i>My father figure.</i>
2263
01:32:41.015 --> 01:32:43.515
<i>My platonic coworker buddy,</i>
2264
01:32:43.684 --> 01:32:46.314
<i>who's a girl, but just a friend.</i>
2265
01:32:47.939 --> 01:32:49.149
<i>And you.</i>
2266
01:32:49.941 --> 01:32:51.281
Mi hijo.
2267
01:32:51.984 --> 01:32:53.324
<i>It's Spanish</i>
2268
01:32:54.111 --> 01:32:55.491
<i>for "son."</i>
2269
01:32:57.615 --> 01:32:59.365
This is my family,
2270
01:33:00.618 --> 01:33:02.498
but it's your family, too.
2271
01:33:12.004 --> 01:33:13.514
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(SNIFFLES)</font></b>
2272
01:33:41.367 --> 01:33:42.737
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(THUNDER RUMBLING)</font></b>
2273
01:34:01.220 --> 01:34:02.220
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(THUDS)</font></b>
2274
01:34:05.016 --> 01:34:06.016
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GRUNTS)</font></b>
2275
01:34:06.892 --> 01:34:08.142
Do you have a knife?
2276
01:34:08.311 --> 01:34:09.311
Why?
2277
01:34:09.478 --> 01:34:13.018
'Cause someone needs to cut the tension
between the two of us immediately.
2278
01:34:13.190 --> 01:34:14.190
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GROANS)</font></b>
2279
01:34:14.358 --> 01:34:15.858
Okay. I deserved that.
2280
01:34:16.027 --> 01:34:17.397
- <b><font color="#404040">PHYLLIS: </font></b><i>Hi.</i>
- Wait a minute.
2281
01:34:17.570 --> 01:34:18.610
What's going on?
2282
01:34:18.779 --> 01:34:21.119
I came back, just like I said I would.
2283
01:34:21.282 --> 01:34:22.912
<i>You know, Mr. Batman,</i> <b><font color="#DF01D7">(SIGHS)</font></b>
2284
01:34:23.075 --> 01:34:25.575
<i>when you're a talking brick,
working at the Phantom Zone,</i>
2285
01:34:25.745 --> 01:34:28.245
<i>you see a lot of crazy things.</i>
2286
01:34:28.414 --> 01:34:30.584
<i>But I've finally seen a man,</i>
2287
01:34:30.750 --> 01:34:32.590
<i>in order to make the world
a better place,</i>
2288
01:34:32.752 --> 01:34:35.252
<i>take a look at himself
and make a change.</i>
2289
01:34:36.255 --> 01:34:37.255
Who?
2290
01:34:37.631 --> 01:34:39.551
<i>- Superman.</i>
- What?
2291
01:34:39.717 --> 01:34:40.967
<i>I'm kidding. It's you.</i>
2292
01:34:41.135 --> 01:34:42.425
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL CHEERING)</font></b>
2293
01:34:42.595 --> 01:34:43.885
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHS)</font></b>
2294
01:34:44.430 --> 01:34:46.770
Well, I guess I'll be seeing you
on the streets, Batman.
2295
01:34:46.932 --> 01:34:48.932
I guess so. Catch you later, Joker.
2296
01:34:49.101 --> 01:34:50.231
Let's go, gang.
2297
01:34:50.394 --> 01:34:51.444
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(CHUCKLES)</font></b> Wait a minute,
2298
01:34:51.812 --> 01:34:53.942
we're not just gonna
let these criminals go, right?
2299
01:34:54.106 --> 01:34:55.606
Ah, come on, Commish. Let's face it.
2300
01:34:55.775 --> 01:34:57.735
Those guys are no match
for the four of us.
2301
01:34:57.902 --> 01:34:59.572
We'll give them a 30-minute head start.
2302
01:34:59.737 --> 01:35:02.277
Besides, you can't fight crime
on an empty stomach.
2303
01:35:02.531 --> 01:35:04.241
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(POP MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
2304
01:35:05.284 --> 01:35:06.454
Hey, Computer?
2305
01:35:06.619 --> 01:35:07.829
<b><font color="#404040">ALL:</font></b> We're home!
2306
01:35:07.995 --> 01:35:08.995
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ECHOING)</font></b>
2307
01:35:11.457 --> 01:35:12.627
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>What is the password?</i>
2308
01:35:12.792 --> 01:35:14.462
<b><font color="#404040">ALL:</font></b> Iron Man sucks!
2309
01:35:15.795 --> 01:35:16.955
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHING)</font></b>
2310
01:35:26.597 --> 01:35:29.477
When Dad and me were fighting,
I was giving them my best one-liners.
2311
01:35:30.309 --> 01:35:31.309
<i>You</i>
2312
01:35:33.437 --> 01:35:34.767
<i>complete me.</i>
2313
01:35:35.147 --> 01:35:36.607
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(ALL LAUGHING)</font></b>
2314
01:35:48.327 --> 01:35:51.367
Holy family photo, Batman. I love it!
2315
01:35:58.337 --> 01:35:59.507
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>White.</i>
2316
01:35:59.672 --> 01:36:03.842
<i>All important movies end
with a white screen.</i>
2317
01:36:04.343 --> 01:36:06.473
<i>And tying up loose ends.</i>
2318
01:36:06.637 --> 01:36:08.677
We're coming for you, Gotham City!
2319
01:36:08.848 --> 01:36:10.348
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>Like this snake clowns bit.</i>
2320
01:36:10.516 --> 01:36:12.619
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA: </font></b><i>Snake clowns?</i>
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>Told you they were real.</i>
2321
01:36:12.643 --> 01:36:14.853
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA: </font></b><i>Did you stick wigs onto snakes?</i>
2322
01:36:15.020 --> 01:36:16.690
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>Maybe.</i>
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA: </font></b><i>That is so weird.</i>
2323
01:36:16.981 --> 01:36:18.750
<b><font color="#404040">ROBIN: </font></b><i>Can I play that song
I wrote for the end credits?</i>
2324
01:36:18.774 --> 01:36:20.085
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>That is a hard pass.</i>
<b><font color="#404040">ROBIN: </font></b><i>Come on.</i>
2325
01:36:20.109 --> 01:36:21.109
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>No!</i>
2326
01:36:21.318 --> 01:36:22.796
<b><font color="#404040">BARBARA: </font></b><i>Let the kid play
whatever music he wants.</i>
2327
01:36:22.820 --> 01:36:24.005
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>No, no, no!</i>
<b><font color="#404040">ROBIN: </font></b><i>Please?</i>
2328
01:36:24.029 --> 01:36:25.029
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font></b><i>No.</i>
<b><font color="#404040">ROBIN:</font></b> Padre?
2329
01:36:25.364 --> 01:36:26.874
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font><font color="#DF01D7">(SIGHS)</font></b> <i>Fine. 'Puter.</i>
2330
01:36:27.450 --> 01:36:28.570
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(BEEPS)</font></b>
- <b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>Okay, sir.</i>
2331
01:36:28.617 --> 01:36:30.097
- <b><font color="#404040">ROBIN: </font></b><i>Yay!</i>
- <b><font color="#DF01D7">(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)</font></b>
2332
01:36:30.202 --> 01:36:32.502
<b><font color="#404040">PUTER: </font></b><i>Now playing
Robin's happy, poppy music.</i>
2333
01:36:32.663 --> 01:36:35.883
<i>The kind that makes
parents and studio executives happy.</i>
2334
01:36:39.378 --> 01:36:40.378
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(GROANS)</font></b>
2335
01:36:59.899 --> 01:37:00.899
Come on, everyone!
2336
01:37:20.294 --> 01:37:21.634
- Come on, Batman!
- No!
2337
01:38:15.391 --> 01:38:16.731
<b><font color="#DF01D7">(PLAYING GUITAR SOLO)</font></b>
2338
01:38:48.048 --> 01:38:51.388
<b><font color="#404040">BATMAN: </font><font color="#DF01D7">(LAUGHING)</font></b>
<i>Wow, that was fun!</i>
2339
01:38:51.552 --> 01:38:53.932
<i>Really hope nobody was recording that.</i>
2340
01:38:54.096 --> 01:38:56.676
Let me see. Oh, this thing is on.
This thing is recording.