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WEBVTT - https://subtitletools.com 00:01:33.827 --> 00:01:34.942 Got some. 00:02:24.947 --> 00:02:28.383 - Dad peed in his pants. - Get used to it, son. 00:02:28.547 --> 00:02:30.617 When I'm old, you'll have to change my diaper. 00:02:36.227 --> 00:02:38.946 Another year over. I can't believe it. 00:02:39.107 --> 00:02:40.859 I can't believe our sons are 7. 00:02:41.027 --> 00:02:43.416 In a couple years, they'll be starting a band... 00:02:43.587 --> 00:02:45.020 ...growing their hair long... 00:02:45.187 --> 00:02:47.064 ...stealing your Suburban to go on tour. 00:02:49.027 --> 00:02:52.178 Charlie, we have ourselves a situation. 00:02:52.347 --> 00:02:53.621 Okay, I'll be a minute. 00:02:53.787 --> 00:02:54.856 Phil. Phil. 00:02:56.467 --> 00:02:59.265 Rare. Good. See? 00:03:00.547 --> 00:03:02.617 Save room for cake. 00:03:10.267 --> 00:03:13.498 Never mind that on the cake. 00:03:16.707 --> 00:03:18.777 - Hey, Mom. - Hey, slow down. 00:03:18.947 --> 00:03:23.099 It was the end of Summer Olympiad between us and our rival camp. 00:03:23.267 --> 00:03:25.337 The final event: The relay race. 00:03:25.507 --> 00:03:28.419 Coming down the stretch, I was flying like the wind. 00:03:28.587 --> 00:03:30.179 You were sweating sheets of rain. 00:03:30.347 --> 00:03:32.178 You could barely move in a straight line. 00:03:32.347 --> 00:03:34.144 - I was still in the lead. - Whatever. 00:03:34.307 --> 00:03:37.026 I hand the baton to Charlie, he drops it, we lose everything. 00:03:37.187 --> 00:03:40.338 Then Lance Warner flew right past you to the finish line. 00:03:40.507 --> 00:03:44.386 I hated that snot-nosed little brat. He's why I didn't have a good time. 00:03:45.547 --> 00:03:49.096 Honey, why is Ben going on and on about going off to camp? 00:03:49.267 --> 00:03:51.781 The permission slip's been on the fridge for three weeks. 00:03:51.947 --> 00:03:54.256 He really wants to go, and I think he should. 00:03:54.427 --> 00:03:57.464 Well, Phil and I have talked, the boys aren't going. 00:03:57.627 --> 00:04:00.221 - What do you mean? - I mean, they're not going. 00:04:00.387 --> 00:04:02.617 All those snakes and spiders and wedgies. 00:04:02.787 --> 00:04:05.506 Just because you had a bad experience as a kid at camp... 00:04:05.667 --> 00:04:07.703 ...doesn't mean our son will have one too. 00:04:07.867 --> 00:04:11.496 - What are you talking about? - I was there. You were scarred for life. 00:04:11.667 --> 00:04:13.976 I'm on the ground, staring up at my father. 00:04:14.147 --> 00:04:16.058 He stands there with a look of disapproval. 00:04:16.227 --> 00:04:18.946 Just over some stupid camp game. 00:04:19.107 --> 00:04:22.782 I won't allow my son to let anything like that happen to him. 00:04:22.947 --> 00:04:26.257 He will know I love and support him no matter what. 00:04:27.107 --> 00:04:30.144 Good. Then you can love and support him going to camp. 00:04:30.307 --> 00:04:32.502 You didn't hear what I just said? 00:04:32.667 --> 00:04:37.104 Yes, I did, and he's not you, and you definitely are not your father. 00:04:38.307 --> 00:04:41.026 Oh, and you're driving them. 00:04:58.787 --> 00:05:00.664 There it is. Camp Canola. 00:05:02.867 --> 00:05:05.256 You don't want to go to rival Canola. 00:05:05.427 --> 00:05:06.940 But that's where everyone goes. 00:05:07.107 --> 00:05:10.144 No, if you wanna go to camp, you wanna go to Driftwood. 00:05:10.307 --> 00:05:12.457 Yeah, Camp Canola's some rundown shack... 00:05:12.627 --> 00:05:14.299 ...on a piece of swamp land. 00:05:31.587 --> 00:05:33.976 At least, it used to be. 00:05:39.267 --> 00:05:42.304 - Cool. - Awesome. 00:05:52.067 --> 00:05:54.023 It's a lake. I don't remember a lake. 00:05:58.467 --> 00:06:00.298 Well, this ain't nothing. 00:06:00.467 --> 00:06:02.298 Wait till you see where you are going. 00:06:02.467 --> 00:06:03.741 Camp Driftwood. 00:06:16.507 --> 00:06:17.826 What the heck? 00:06:24.387 --> 00:06:27.265 Yeah, well, you're crazy, Morty. That's the best offer... 00:06:27.427 --> 00:06:29.497 ...you're ever gonna get for this craphole. 00:06:29.667 --> 00:06:33.660 I'm doing you a favour, butthead. You're crazy, Morty. 00:06:34.307 --> 00:06:37.344 - Are you folks lost? - No, we're here to check out the camp. 00:06:38.787 --> 00:06:41.665 You want to bring your kids here? 00:06:44.547 --> 00:06:47.186 That's beautiful. 00:06:47.907 --> 00:06:48.896 Yeah. 00:06:50.867 --> 00:06:53.620 Hey, good luck with that. 00:07:00.067 --> 00:07:01.864 Okay, kids, come on. 00:07:02.027 --> 00:07:04.177 Didn't you hear? Camp's closed. 00:07:04.347 --> 00:07:05.416 - Yes. - Yes. 00:07:05.587 --> 00:07:08.340 What happened? This place used to be the best. 00:07:08.507 --> 00:07:12.056 Well, now seems like everybody wants newer, better... 00:07:12.227 --> 00:07:14.616 ...properly licensed and bonded. 00:07:14.787 --> 00:07:17.984 They want Camp Canola down the road. 00:07:18.147 --> 00:07:19.580 You guys went to Driftwood? 00:07:19.747 --> 00:07:21.339 Yeah, we were here when we were kids. 00:07:21.507 --> 00:07:25.659 Then you know. This place really used to be something special. 00:07:25.827 --> 00:07:29.661 And Canola was a dump. Then some rich family bought it... 00:07:29.827 --> 00:07:33.456 ...eventually turned it over to that mutant son of theirs. 00:07:33.627 --> 00:07:35.299 What's gonna happen to Driftwood? 00:07:35.467 --> 00:07:38.618 Well, soon I'm gonna have no choice but to sell it to Canola. 00:07:38.787 --> 00:07:43.099 It's a pity. Because all he wants to do is bulldoze over it. 00:07:43.267 --> 00:07:44.541 Can you believe it? 00:07:44.707 --> 00:07:48.336 That kid has been a pain in my heinie since he won the '77 Olympiad. 00:07:49.027 --> 00:07:52.861 I just hate to give that jerk Lance Warner the satisfaction. 00:07:55.147 --> 00:07:56.216 Warner? Lance Warner? 00:07:56.387 --> 00:07:58.298 He wants to buy this camp and tear it down? 00:07:58.467 --> 00:07:59.456 Our camp? 00:07:59.627 --> 00:08:01.026 You bought a what? 00:08:01.187 --> 00:08:03.906 Not the whole camp, a partnership with the original owner. 00:08:04.067 --> 00:08:06.627 I know the day care centre has been successful... 00:08:06.787 --> 00:08:09.096 ...but you've spent a lot fixing this house up... 00:08:09.267 --> 00:08:10.541 ...to accommodate more kids. 00:08:10.707 --> 00:08:13.824 The Daddy Day Care brand means a lot in this town. 00:08:13.987 --> 00:08:16.706 Re-purposing that brand into summer is just smart business. 00:08:16.867 --> 00:08:18.380 Do you know how to run a camp? 00:08:18.547 --> 00:08:21.857 That's just it. I'm not gonna run the camp, Uncle Morty is. 00:08:22.027 --> 00:08:23.745 Phil and I are just gonna help out. 00:08:23.907 --> 00:08:26.137 So I'll spend as much time with Ben as possible. 00:08:26.307 --> 00:08:27.740 But you hate the outdoors. 00:08:27.907 --> 00:08:31.741 Yes, but I hate Lance Warner more. No way my son's going to his camp. 00:08:31.907 --> 00:08:35.422 Please just send him to Canola. That's where all his friends are. 00:08:35.587 --> 00:08:36.656 No. No way. 00:08:38.227 --> 00:08:43.426 Listen, my father sent me to camp and it didn't go so great. Okay? 00:08:43.587 --> 00:08:46.943 Maybe I can give Ben the positive experience I never had. 00:08:49.627 --> 00:08:51.902 Just promise me you'll let... 00:08:52.067 --> 00:08:54.456 ...this Uncle Morty do the real outdoorsy stuff. 00:08:54.627 --> 00:08:56.538 I don't wanna have to send a search party... 00:08:56.707 --> 00:08:59.096 ...to come rescue your lost butt in the woods. 00:09:03.267 --> 00:09:06.543 Come on, Sally, now, don't play hard to get. 00:09:06.707 --> 00:09:08.060 Oh, you little tease. 00:09:08.227 --> 00:09:10.616 Oh, you... I've gotcha. 00:09:13.267 --> 00:09:15.656 It's another beautiful woodchuck day, baby. 00:09:15.827 --> 00:09:18.466 Hey, that's great. You remember the old cheer. 00:09:18.627 --> 00:09:22.142 I can't thank you guys enough. I mean, you saved the old place. 00:09:22.307 --> 00:09:24.867 Yeah, well, with your help, I'll show that Lance Warner... 00:09:25.027 --> 00:09:27.063 ...how to run a good old-fashioned summer camp. 00:09:27.227 --> 00:09:29.422 Swell. I'll see you guys in September. 00:09:29.587 --> 00:09:30.576 Say what, now? 00:09:31.667 --> 00:09:33.020 Uncle Morty? 00:09:34.627 --> 00:09:37.664 Excuse me. Morty, you can't leave. 00:09:37.827 --> 00:09:40.785 You're supposed to be overseeing the camp. We're partners. 00:09:40.947 --> 00:09:43.097 I've been watching over this camp for 30 years. 00:09:43.267 --> 00:09:45.827 It's time I took a vacation, partner. 00:09:45.987 --> 00:09:48.057 Don't worry. Dale here will show you the ropes. 00:09:48.227 --> 00:09:52.061 - He's the best counsellor I got. - No, Morty, wait. You can't leave. 00:09:52.827 --> 00:09:54.783 Wait. Come back. 00:10:03.227 --> 00:10:05.616 What was that about? 00:10:06.227 --> 00:10:07.865 This is my first day. 00:10:22.147 --> 00:10:23.819 Charles Hinton? 00:10:23.987 --> 00:10:26.899 - I'm Charlie. - I'm from FM J Bank. 00:10:27.667 --> 00:10:30.022 No doubt your uncle Morty informed you of the liens... 00:10:30.187 --> 00:10:32.826 ...we have against your property. - Informed? 00:10:32.987 --> 00:10:34.943 He just took his little fishy up the road. 00:10:35.107 --> 00:10:36.540 As the business has no clients... 00:10:36.707 --> 00:10:38.743 ...therefore no discernible means of income... 00:10:38.907 --> 00:10:41.865 ...the bank will have no choice but to foreclose on the property. 00:10:42.027 --> 00:10:43.096 - Foreclose? - Foreclose? 00:10:44.547 --> 00:10:46.299 Let me ask you something. 00:10:46.467 --> 00:10:49.300 What if this camp could show discernible means of income? 00:10:49.947 --> 00:10:51.221 Continue. 00:10:51.387 --> 00:10:53.662 We have run the Daddy Day Care Center... 00:10:53.827 --> 00:10:55.738 ...successfully for the past several years. 00:10:55.907 --> 00:10:58.467 Allow us to use the hard-earned trust that name brings... 00:10:58.627 --> 00:11:00.060 ...to build in new clientele. 00:11:00.827 --> 00:11:02.738 I suppose I could recommend to the bank... 00:11:02.907 --> 00:11:05.660 ...that we extend the debt for about a month. 00:11:05.827 --> 00:11:08.182 Assuming, of course, that you can maintain the camp... 00:11:08.347 --> 00:11:10.542 ...and a client base of at least 30 children. 00:11:11.147 --> 00:11:13.342 We'll have it in tiptop shape in no time. 00:11:22.787 --> 00:11:26.143 Yeah, you got a methane problem, all right. 00:11:26.307 --> 00:11:28.377 Gonna have to have that baby pumped. 00:11:28.547 --> 00:11:29.662 Oh, crap. 00:11:29.827 --> 00:11:32.705 Yeah, you said it. Gonna need a whole new septic tank... 00:11:32.867 --> 00:11:36.223 ...new plumbing, the works. Cost you about 14. 00:11:36.387 --> 00:11:38.298 - Hundred? - Thousand. 00:11:38.627 --> 00:11:42.063 You know what? We'll buy the kids gas masks. 00:11:42.227 --> 00:11:44.866 It's your party, pally, but that methane is dangerous. 00:11:45.027 --> 00:11:47.541 You boys best be careful. 00:11:50.947 --> 00:11:54.940 - Phil. - What? That wasn't me. 00:13:01.027 --> 00:13:02.938 Okay, here's your lunch, sweetie. 00:13:03.107 --> 00:13:05.985 It's a sugar-free, wheat-free, gluten-free, tofu nugget. 00:13:06.147 --> 00:13:10.265 You have your Sidekick with text, GPS locator in case you get lost... 00:13:10.427 --> 00:13:12.736 ...and waterproof sunscreen, in case it gets sunny... 00:13:12.907 --> 00:13:15.740 ...while it's still raining. - Mother, it's day camp. 00:13:15.907 --> 00:13:17.818 I'll be seven miles away. 00:13:17.987 --> 00:13:20.023 And home before dinner. 00:13:20.187 --> 00:13:21.666 Did you take your Xanax? 00:13:23.387 --> 00:13:25.025 I don't wanna go to camp in the rain. 00:13:25.187 --> 00:13:27.257 I wanna stay home watching nudie flicks. 00:13:27.427 --> 00:13:30.305 The brochure said there would be sun. Please behave yourself. 00:13:30.467 --> 00:13:33.345 And for the love of God, try not to make anyone bleed. 00:13:33.507 --> 00:13:35.896 Take your Dramamine now before you get on the bus... 00:13:36.067 --> 00:13:37.978 ...then later if you ride a horse... 00:13:38.147 --> 00:13:40.377 ...or anything that bounces or gently sways. 00:13:40.547 --> 00:13:43.505 - What about my Pepto? - Save that for lunch. 00:13:43.667 --> 00:13:46.135 And your Beano, in case you have a snack. 00:14:05.347 --> 00:14:08.020 It's another beautiful woodchuck day. 00:14:12.387 --> 00:14:16.062 Promise you'll put those games away and try to be social this summer. 00:14:16.227 --> 00:14:18.616 Die, alien scum, die. 00:14:20.387 --> 00:14:23.026 Carl, please don't let the other kids tease your brother. 00:14:23.467 --> 00:14:25.185 What am I? Dr. Phil? 00:14:25.347 --> 00:14:28.384 I've got nothing to work with here. 00:14:28.867 --> 00:14:30.778 Archibald Lawrence Mapleton? 00:14:30.947 --> 00:14:35.418 Call me, Mullet. Business up front, party in the back, baby. 00:14:35.587 --> 00:14:37.339 Juliette Stone? 00:14:37.507 --> 00:14:39.577 Present. 00:14:40.867 --> 00:14:43.586 Holy Hogwarts. 00:14:44.227 --> 00:14:47.902 Watch the merchandise, dude. 00:15:06.947 --> 00:15:11.304 - I still got it, huh? - I can't hear! My ears! 00:15:15.107 --> 00:15:19.544 Okay, this is it. Time to give them a summer they'll never forget. 00:15:32.227 --> 00:15:34.457 They won't forget that. 00:15:45.347 --> 00:15:48.180 Nature walkers, lotion up. 00:15:50.147 --> 00:15:51.978 Okay, Robin Hoods, gather around. 00:15:52.187 --> 00:15:53.745 Everybody take a bow. 00:15:53.907 --> 00:15:55.340 There you go. 00:15:55.507 --> 00:15:57.418 There's enough for everyone. There you go. 00:16:13.987 --> 00:16:16.865 Hey, Romeo. If you like her, go in that group. 00:16:17.027 --> 00:16:20.702 No. That's okay. I've only got to kill one more Orc. 00:16:20.867 --> 00:16:24.462 Right. Kill your Orc, you dork. 00:16:24.627 --> 00:16:27.539 Dad, I want to be in the group with Max. 00:16:27.707 --> 00:16:30.585 I'm older than these babies. I should be in that group. 00:16:30.747 --> 00:16:33.181 I didn't sign up to be with no skirts. 00:16:33.347 --> 00:16:34.575 They got cooties. 00:16:34.747 --> 00:16:36.226 There's no such thing as cooties. 00:16:36.387 --> 00:16:39.220 It's simply a term used to express age-appropriate discomfort... 00:16:39.387 --> 00:16:41.184 ...of those not of our gender. 00:16:52.067 --> 00:16:53.261 Stop arguing. 00:16:57.987 --> 00:17:00.182 You wanted to accommodate children of all ages. 00:17:00.347 --> 00:17:02.258 Well, at this point, we can't be too picky. 00:17:08.507 --> 00:17:12.182 Look, here we have grass. Some grass and a big rock. 00:17:12.347 --> 00:17:13.939 How many more to go? 00:17:14.107 --> 00:17:17.463 Everybody gather round. Get in here. 00:17:17.627 --> 00:17:20.983 Can anyone tell me what kind of tree this is? 00:17:21.907 --> 00:17:23.056 An oak? 00:17:23.227 --> 00:17:25.787 Yeah. Sure. Okay. 00:17:25.947 --> 00:17:29.144 Look over here, some berries, maybe a strawberry thing. 00:17:29.307 --> 00:17:31.537 I wouldn't eat them, though. Watch out. 00:17:31.707 --> 00:17:35.700 Poison ivy. Keep moving, slowly, behind the bush. 00:17:35.867 --> 00:17:37.937 Come on, slowly. Don't touch it. 00:17:38.107 --> 00:17:40.667 Careful, careful. Okay. 00:17:41.627 --> 00:17:44.505 That would be a leaf. 00:17:45.627 --> 00:17:47.538 Ready. Aim. 00:17:47.707 --> 00:17:49.902 Wait. There's a bunny. 00:17:50.067 --> 00:17:52.023 We can't shoot with a bunny in the field. 00:17:52.187 --> 00:17:54.257 He's way off to the side. You'll never hit it. 00:17:54.427 --> 00:17:56.987 Yes, we can. That's good eating. 00:17:57.147 --> 00:17:58.375 No, it's not. 00:17:59.867 --> 00:18:03.177 Wait. All right, kids, hang on. Back up. 00:18:05.147 --> 00:18:07.058 So the rebel Borg rogue vessel... 00:18:07.227 --> 00:18:09.616 ...circles around Barkon IV... 00:18:09.787 --> 00:18:12.460 ...loops over the Enterprise and doubles back... 00:18:12.627 --> 00:18:14.458 ...through the space nebula. 00:18:20.627 --> 00:18:23.061 We passed this tree twice already. 00:18:23.227 --> 00:18:27.106 Because it's a very important tree and I wanted to emphasise it. 00:18:27.267 --> 00:18:28.666 We're not lost. 00:18:28.827 --> 00:18:33.025 - Alligator. - Calm down. Stop. Calm down. 00:18:33.187 --> 00:18:35.860 Stop. 00:18:36.027 --> 00:18:38.780 We don't have alligators on the nature hike. 00:18:38.947 --> 00:18:40.539 It's not that good a camp. 00:18:41.067 --> 00:18:44.218 See, kids? Everything's gonna be just fine. 00:18:44.387 --> 00:18:45.422 Air varmint. 00:18:56.187 --> 00:18:58.860 I appreciate that you kids are such quick learners... 00:18:59.027 --> 00:19:03.100 ...but these knots are not supposed to be used for evil. 00:19:03.267 --> 00:19:07.306 See? Just a big, dumb empty log. 00:19:08.867 --> 00:19:11.540 Bees. Scatter. 00:19:24.787 --> 00:19:26.743 Now put two thumbs up. 00:19:26.907 --> 00:19:29.341 You guys, two, three, or four of you are out... 00:19:29.507 --> 00:19:31.543 ...because I didn't say, "Simon says. " 00:19:31.707 --> 00:19:33.459 All right, Simon Says. 00:19:33.907 --> 00:19:36.819 Ben. Hey, Ben. 00:19:38.107 --> 00:19:40.701 Simon says, "Wave at Daddy. " 00:19:43.107 --> 00:19:45.905 Good concentration, son. You know, because I'm not Simon. 00:19:46.907 --> 00:19:48.818 Good job, Dale. 00:19:57.427 --> 00:20:00.783 Oh, no, so many are out right now, I can't even count how many. 00:20:05.667 --> 00:20:08.500 - Can I help you? - Felix. 00:20:09.667 --> 00:20:13.455 Simon Says. A classic. 00:20:15.987 --> 00:20:17.466 I was showing the kids here... 00:20:17.627 --> 00:20:19.299 ...where the go-cart track will be... 00:20:19.467 --> 00:20:22.459 ...once you and your team of idiots run your camp into the ground. 00:20:23.547 --> 00:20:25.822 First of all, it's not for sale. 00:20:25.987 --> 00:20:28.660 Yeah, well, from what I heard, that may not be up to you. 00:20:29.347 --> 00:20:32.020 Yeah, a little something called foreclosure. 00:20:32.187 --> 00:20:34.223 Axe coming down. 00:20:35.267 --> 00:20:37.303 See all those kids running around down there? 00:20:38.387 --> 00:20:40.218 Does that look like a business in trouble? 00:20:40.387 --> 00:20:42.378 It's only day one, buddy boy. 00:20:42.547 --> 00:20:46.426 Once all those kids see how much fun we're having at Camp Canola... 00:20:46.587 --> 00:20:49.499 ...they'll be jumping ship like harbour rats. 00:20:54.267 --> 00:20:55.746 And to make matters worse... 00:20:55.907 --> 00:20:59.900 ...you will never be able to beat the Chief in the Olympiad. 00:21:00.067 --> 00:21:02.217 That's him. He's the Chief. 00:21:02.387 --> 00:21:04.218 And you poop in your shorts. 00:21:04.387 --> 00:21:06.776 Nice son you got there, Lance. 00:21:06.947 --> 00:21:09.256 He ain't my kid. I hate kids. 00:21:12.027 --> 00:21:15.497 First of all, there ain't gonna be any Olympiad. And secondly... 00:21:15.667 --> 00:21:18.465 ...I care about building these kids up, not tearing them down... 00:21:18.627 --> 00:21:20.538 ...with some futile attempt at competition. 00:21:21.307 --> 00:21:22.740 That's pathetic. 00:21:22.907 --> 00:21:25.341 You won't last a month. 00:21:25.507 --> 00:21:29.022 Yeah. Thirty-one days. Or 30. 00:21:29.187 --> 00:21:31.576 Except for February, which stands alone. 00:21:33.267 --> 00:21:35.223 All right, let's go. 00:21:38.267 --> 00:21:40.656 Dang, he looks familiar. 00:21:42.987 --> 00:21:45.057 All right, Camp Canola. 00:21:45.467 --> 00:21:47.025 Let's head out. 00:21:55.547 --> 00:21:57.742 Wait. Oh, good Lord. 00:21:59.867 --> 00:22:03.064 Watch and learn. 00:22:07.587 --> 00:22:10.943 - Mullet. Come on. - Hurry up. 00:22:11.107 --> 00:22:13.575 I want candy. 00:22:36.507 --> 00:22:40.341 Dale, make sure you count them twice. 00:22:40.507 --> 00:22:43.783 Everybody on the... Hey, no fighting. 00:22:45.107 --> 00:22:47.667 On the bus. Get on the bus. 00:22:51.107 --> 00:22:54.099 Oh, thank God. 00:22:54.267 --> 00:22:59.057 See? This is exactly where I thought we'd come out. 00:22:59.387 --> 00:23:02.424 Get down to the bus. It'll be leaving any second. 00:23:02.587 --> 00:23:04.498 I've gotta drop the kids off at the pool. 00:23:04.667 --> 00:23:05.656 We have a pool? 00:23:06.227 --> 00:23:07.865 No. 00:23:10.587 --> 00:23:12.862 This is the worst camp ever. 00:23:14.107 --> 00:23:16.177 Thanks for coming. 00:23:18.627 --> 00:23:20.697 No, no, Max. All right, no, Max, Max. 00:23:21.787 --> 00:23:25.621 Okay, off the bus. Everybody off the bus. 00:23:26.147 --> 00:23:29.662 Yes, off the bus. Okay. Okay. Relax. 00:23:31.507 --> 00:23:32.940 What's wrong with him? 00:23:33.107 --> 00:23:36.224 He was born with no sense of smell. 00:23:37.667 --> 00:23:38.861 What's his problem? 00:23:39.027 --> 00:23:41.666 - Mayhoffer's gonna blow. - What? 00:23:56.187 --> 00:23:59.065 Phil, we got a situation here. I need help. 00:23:59.227 --> 00:24:02.742 I need backup. I repeat, backup for... 00:24:07.907 --> 00:24:10.102 All right. 00:24:17.027 --> 00:24:20.019 Code blue. Code blue, Phil. 00:24:24.187 --> 00:24:26.542 - What else could go wrong? - No, please... 00:24:43.387 --> 00:24:45.776 I think we're gonna need more toilet paper. 00:24:52.827 --> 00:24:54.419 Baby... 00:24:54.587 --> 00:24:58.102 ...it's just not your area of expertise. 00:24:58.267 --> 00:25:00.622 You need someone with more outdoor experience. 00:25:00.787 --> 00:25:02.903 Someone like your father. 00:25:03.067 --> 00:25:04.216 You're gonna call Grandpa? 00:25:04.387 --> 00:25:07.584 No. Mommy's just making a joke. 00:25:07.747 --> 00:25:09.180 I don't need Buck. 00:25:09.347 --> 00:25:12.657 Kids all over town are bathing in tomato juice, thanks to you. 00:25:12.827 --> 00:25:15.864 It was one lousy skunk and a harmless methane explosion. 00:25:16.027 --> 00:25:17.460 Your father's a military man. 00:25:17.627 --> 00:25:20.664 You told me yourself Buck knows everything about the outdoors. 00:25:20.827 --> 00:25:23.421 Roughing it, managing troops, survival skills. 00:25:23.587 --> 00:25:26.784 Yeah, and he realises it through anger, shaming, and criticism. 00:25:26.947 --> 00:25:28.824 Here, baby, sponge yourself. 00:25:28.987 --> 00:25:32.616 Look, I know that you two have had your problems. 00:25:32.787 --> 00:25:34.106 Problems? No. 00:25:34.267 --> 00:25:37.259 Nothing I ever did was good enough, including sports, school, work. 00:25:37.427 --> 00:25:38.906 But other than that? 00:25:39.267 --> 00:25:41.827 He could help, and Ben would be thrilled to see him. 00:25:41.987 --> 00:25:44.217 I think it's time you give him a chance. 00:25:44.387 --> 00:25:48.175 Look, baby, this is my thing, okay? I'll handle it. 00:25:48.347 --> 00:25:51.384 Phil and I got special camp consultants coming tomorrow. 00:25:51.547 --> 00:25:53.663 It's a fresh start and a new day. 00:25:53.827 --> 00:25:55.419 Consultants? 00:25:55.587 --> 00:25:56.656 Yes. 00:25:56.827 --> 00:26:01.139 - It's all right here in our Idea Binders. - That's for you. 00:26:01.307 --> 00:26:03.867 You just trust us. 00:26:04.027 --> 00:26:06.905 - Syl. Come to me. - I'm right here. 00:26:07.067 --> 00:26:08.659 Be with me, think with me. 00:26:08.827 --> 00:26:11.102 We could have this entire area carpeted. 00:26:11.267 --> 00:26:12.859 Shag carpet. 00:26:13.027 --> 00:26:15.063 Like a child, a universe grows. 00:26:21.147 --> 00:26:22.626 That was a waste of time. 00:26:22.787 --> 00:26:25.779 Hey, don't worry. When those 35 kids get off that bus... 00:26:25.947 --> 00:26:28.984 ...we're gonna show them adventure, Charlie and Phil style. 00:26:40.507 --> 00:26:44.785 Okay. See, Phil, it's all we needed. A new day, fresh start. 00:26:46.867 --> 00:26:48.539 Way to go, Dad. 00:26:48.707 --> 00:26:50.777 What? 00:26:55.227 --> 00:26:58.617 That's all we got. The other parents are demanding a full refund. 00:26:59.987 --> 00:27:02.262 Let's go this way, guys. 00:27:09.467 --> 00:27:11.139 We only got seven kids left, Phil. 00:27:11.307 --> 00:27:13.138 There's no other way to cover these bills. 00:27:13.307 --> 00:27:14.979 We can't afford to hire consultants... 00:27:15.147 --> 00:27:16.978 ...much less make the foreclosure payment. 00:27:17.147 --> 00:27:20.981 We can't even afford to give refunds. That money went back into repairs. 00:27:21.147 --> 00:27:23.217 You're gonna have to swallow your pride... 00:27:23.387 --> 00:27:25.617 ...and get a man in here to help run this camp. 00:27:30.067 --> 00:27:33.423 Historically, the art of using troops is this: 00:27:33.587 --> 00:27:36.784 When ten to the enemy's one, surround them with tanks. 00:27:36.947 --> 00:27:39.984 At five times the strength, you attack with air strikes. 00:27:40.147 --> 00:27:43.662 Napoleon: All manoeuvres were on horseback. 00:27:43.827 --> 00:27:46.864 Saladin: Camels... 00:27:48.147 --> 00:27:50.217 Colonel here. 00:27:51.187 --> 00:27:53.257 Just a sec. 00:27:53.747 --> 00:27:55.942 Civilians, you're dismissed. 00:28:03.667 --> 00:28:06.101 That's better. How can I help you? 00:28:06.267 --> 00:28:08.781 No, no. No, the time is fine. 00:28:13.907 --> 00:28:15.579 You don't say? 00:28:15.747 --> 00:28:19.103 And that's how you treat an acute poison ivy breakout. 00:28:20.467 --> 00:28:23.265 I'd like to apologise to you guys for letting you play... 00:28:23.427 --> 00:28:25.099 ...in what I thought was clover. 00:28:25.267 --> 00:28:28.816 Jack, I wouldn't go number two for a few weeks if I were you. 00:28:28.987 --> 00:28:31.421 I think you used that "clover" for toilet paper. 00:28:33.027 --> 00:28:34.938 If you'd all sign these waivers... 00:28:35.107 --> 00:28:37.337 ...acknowledging you've been briefed on safety... 00:28:37.507 --> 00:28:40.146 - Here you go. Okay. - Excuse me. 00:28:40.307 --> 00:28:42.218 With the exception of emancipated minors... 00:28:42.387 --> 00:28:44.617 ...I don't believe that a personal injury waiver... 00:28:44.787 --> 00:28:47.984 ...with confidentiality clause, executed by a child... 00:28:48.147 --> 00:28:50.456 ...is a legally binding document, Uncle Phil. 00:28:51.587 --> 00:28:53.737 It's a raid. 00:28:56.027 --> 00:28:57.904 Camp Canola! 00:29:15.347 --> 00:29:17.463 Get the flag. 00:29:39.707 --> 00:29:41.663 I can use the second mortgage on the house... 00:29:41.827 --> 00:29:44.182 ...to pay off the bills for the camp? 00:29:44.347 --> 00:29:47.703 Great. No, Mr. Thumson, I don't need you to come out here. 00:29:47.867 --> 00:29:50.427 No, business is fine. It's just... 00:29:50.587 --> 00:29:52.657 You know, we have such a full house. 00:29:58.587 --> 00:30:00.498 Can I call you back? 00:30:07.547 --> 00:30:09.344 What the heck is going on here? 00:30:28.627 --> 00:30:30.902 Open your ear-holes, dweebers. 00:30:31.067 --> 00:30:35.379 "We, the mighty troops of Fort Canola, have braved hill and dale... 00:30:35.547 --> 00:30:37.458 ...so that we may find... 00:30:37.627 --> 00:30:41.176 ...who are the greatest warriors in the land. " 00:30:43.387 --> 00:30:46.379 No. No. No way. 00:30:46.547 --> 00:30:48.219 You are way out of line, Lance. 00:30:48.387 --> 00:30:49.945 Behold! 00:30:52.667 --> 00:30:54.737 This spear of honour... 00:30:54.907 --> 00:30:59.059 ...garnished with the flame of truth. 00:31:00.587 --> 00:31:02.657 Now, I challenge ye... 00:31:02.827 --> 00:31:07.582 ...to the XLV Annual Intercamp Olympiad. 00:31:09.507 --> 00:31:12.544 That's the 37th Olympiad to you, pea brain. 00:31:12.707 --> 00:31:13.935 Forty-fifth. 00:31:14.107 --> 00:31:17.338 I told you before, there isn't going to be any competition. 00:31:18.907 --> 00:31:22.456 Well, then let the onslaught continue. 00:31:46.627 --> 00:31:50.779 Now's your chance. Go say something. 00:31:54.627 --> 00:31:56.857 Do you like World of Warcraft? 00:31:57.027 --> 00:31:58.142 World of what? 00:31:59.587 --> 00:32:02.306 I'm a Level 40 Blood Elf Druid. 00:32:02.467 --> 00:32:05.345 I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. 00:32:07.747 --> 00:32:09.021 Goodbye. 00:32:09.187 --> 00:32:12.543 I like causing destruction, not cleaning up after it. 00:32:12.707 --> 00:32:16.222 Is that why you threw a paint grenade at your own campmate during a raid? 00:32:16.387 --> 00:32:20.221 What can I say? War is hell, skunk-boy. 00:32:21.307 --> 00:32:25.095 Fight. Fight. Fight. 00:32:25.267 --> 00:32:27.542 Fight. Fight. Fight. 00:32:27.707 --> 00:32:30.858 Cut it out. Stop it. Stop fighting. 00:32:32.147 --> 00:32:34.138 A ten-hut. 00:32:37.667 --> 00:32:40.465 I see this unit's morale is flagging. 00:32:40.627 --> 00:32:43.187 There is only one solution for that. 00:32:43.347 --> 00:32:46.305 All of those who are my grandson, front and centre. 00:32:46.467 --> 00:32:49.027 - Come here, you little peanut. - Grandpa Buck. 00:32:51.187 --> 00:32:52.540 Do you remember this manoeuvre? 00:32:52.707 --> 00:32:54.299 Sneak attack at tickle point. 00:32:59.547 --> 00:33:03.062 Everyone, this is my father, Colonel Buck Hinton. 00:33:03.227 --> 00:33:06.299 - Reporting for duty, corporal. - Please don't call me that. 00:33:08.027 --> 00:33:10.461 All right, then, private. 00:33:12.187 --> 00:33:16.021 Gentlemen. Ladies. What I just witnessed was a mutiny. 00:33:16.187 --> 00:33:18.303 Among campers, that is unacceptable... 00:33:18.467 --> 00:33:20.981 ...from this point forward. 00:33:21.667 --> 00:33:22.656 Now... 00:33:22.827 --> 00:33:24.818 ...front and centre. Double time. 00:33:24.987 --> 00:33:28.024 I'll make you soldiers if it's the last thing I do. 00:33:28.187 --> 00:33:31.862 No, wait a minute. There is no mutiny. Everything is under control. 00:33:32.027 --> 00:33:33.301 This is not why I called you. 00:33:34.427 --> 00:33:38.579 - Why the misconduct, soldier? - We got raided by Camp Canola. 00:33:38.747 --> 00:33:41.784 - Yeah. - Sneak attack, huh? 00:33:41.947 --> 00:33:43.300 Well, I'm sorry, private. 00:33:43.467 --> 00:33:45.139 We should be planning a counterattack. 00:33:45.307 --> 00:33:48.504 Meet force with force. I say we hit them at nightfall. 00:33:48.667 --> 00:33:51.420 - Yeah. - No. No. 00:33:51.587 --> 00:33:54.101 Driftwood Day Camp. 00:33:54.267 --> 00:33:56.497 Hit them at 5, when the sun's in their eyes. 00:33:56.667 --> 00:33:58.100 Yeah. 00:33:58.267 --> 00:33:59.985 Okay, guys. 00:34:00.147 --> 00:34:02.900 Guys, can you excuse us for a minute? 00:34:06.107 --> 00:34:08.143 This is not a boot camp. All right? 00:34:08.307 --> 00:34:10.901 We're not looking for Colonel Hinton, war games consultant. 00:34:11.067 --> 00:34:13.786 We're looking for Colonel Hinton, experienced team builder... 00:34:13.947 --> 00:34:16.336 ...slash King of the Outdoors. 00:34:16.507 --> 00:34:18.941 We're not trying to turn these kids into Marines. 00:34:21.507 --> 00:34:23.099 What's wrong with being a Marine? 00:34:24.627 --> 00:34:26.583 Maybe if you had enlisted... 00:34:26.747 --> 00:34:30.786 ...you could work yourself out of a jam instead of calling in reinforcements. 00:34:30.947 --> 00:34:33.336 Listen. Yes, I do appreciate your coming. 00:34:33.507 --> 00:34:34.906 Yes, we do need your help. 00:34:35.067 --> 00:34:38.537 But we don't want to get into this thing with Camp Canola. 00:34:39.547 --> 00:34:41.663 - No war games? - No. 00:34:41.827 --> 00:34:43.101 Hand-to-hand combat? 00:34:45.947 --> 00:34:48.063 - Guerrilla warfare? - No war. 00:34:48.227 --> 00:34:49.296 No war. 00:34:49.467 --> 00:34:52.027 Just help us run Driftwood, all right? 00:34:52.187 --> 00:34:53.779 Can you follow those orders, Dad? 00:34:55.387 --> 00:34:57.981 That's colonel to you, private. 00:35:00.347 --> 00:35:01.666 Line up. 00:35:28.667 --> 00:35:31.386 In through the nose. 00:35:31.547 --> 00:35:34.425 Out through the mouth. 00:35:35.267 --> 00:35:38.577 In through the nose. 00:35:40.707 --> 00:35:43.904 Out through the mouth. 00:35:44.667 --> 00:35:46.862 The samurai warrior meditates... 00:35:47.027 --> 00:35:52.181 ...to blend mind and body into harmony. 00:35:59.707 --> 00:36:01.584 Come here. Come to me. 00:36:01.747 --> 00:36:04.739 Hey! Hey! 00:36:05.467 --> 00:36:09.176 Hey, old man, what's with the séance in the middle of our off-road track? 00:36:09.347 --> 00:36:12.180 What? Get them out of here! 00:36:12.347 --> 00:36:15.066 Get your kids out of here! Get them out of here! 00:36:15.227 --> 00:36:17.457 Somebody's gonna get hurt! 00:36:20.507 --> 00:36:22.941 Relax, General Depends. 00:36:24.147 --> 00:36:26.297 Shouldn't you be in some bingo game or something? 00:36:26.467 --> 00:36:29.823 L-27. G-13. 00:36:29.987 --> 00:36:32.501 All right, boys. Let's move them out. 00:36:32.667 --> 00:36:37.024 - B-7. - G-40. 00:36:37.187 --> 00:36:39.098 That tears it. 00:36:39.867 --> 00:36:42.427 Rules of engagement... 00:36:43.387 --> 00:36:45.821 ...been overruled. 00:36:54.427 --> 00:36:58.579 There's the objective. Anyone unclear on their role? 00:36:58.747 --> 00:37:00.021 No, sir. 00:37:00.187 --> 00:37:03.224 - Anyone wanna go home? - No, sir. 00:37:03.387 --> 00:37:07.539 Operation MoonPie is a go. 00:37:13.987 --> 00:37:15.943 It's right up here. 00:37:16.987 --> 00:37:19.296 You know, I've never been up here. 00:37:35.067 --> 00:37:38.855 Help. Help. Come on, y'all. Give me a lift. Come on, please. 00:37:41.787 --> 00:37:43.698 Go, go. 00:37:54.267 --> 00:37:58.146 Where is it? Where is it? I know that loser from somewhere. 00:37:59.387 --> 00:38:01.617 Where is it? 00:38:05.947 --> 00:38:07.858 Jackpot. 00:38:10.907 --> 00:38:13.467 Charlie Hinton. 00:38:18.627 --> 00:38:19.980 Can I help you? 00:38:20.147 --> 00:38:22.422 - Hi, my name's Becca. - I'm Juliette. 00:38:22.587 --> 00:38:24.066 And we've come to offer you... 00:38:24.227 --> 00:38:26.138 ...the Driftwood Olive Branch of Peace. 00:38:26.307 --> 00:38:27.899 In exchange for our friendship... 00:38:28.067 --> 00:38:30.262 ...all we ask is that you return our flag. 00:38:33.307 --> 00:38:35.867 Did big bad Charlie send his little bitty girls... 00:38:36.027 --> 00:38:38.541 ...to do his bidding for him, huh? 00:38:38.707 --> 00:38:41.301 Let's put it this way: Either you give it back... 00:38:41.467 --> 00:38:43.583 ...or we take it. 00:38:43.747 --> 00:38:46.307 You and what army, Petunia? 00:38:46.907 --> 00:38:48.226 You had to ask. 00:38:52.667 --> 00:38:54.737 Ask what? 00:39:00.707 --> 00:39:02.026 What the...? 00:39:09.987 --> 00:39:10.976 Get him. 00:39:11.187 --> 00:39:13.985 You're messing with Lance Warner. 00:39:21.307 --> 00:39:23.218 Stuck. 00:39:34.467 --> 00:39:35.502 Yes. 00:39:37.347 --> 00:39:38.780 Hey, Warner. 00:39:44.707 --> 00:39:46.857 - Yes. - That's my boy. 00:39:47.027 --> 00:39:49.336 Sound the alarm. Red alert. 00:39:49.507 --> 00:39:52.863 We're under attack. This is not a drill, people. 00:39:53.027 --> 00:39:56.815 Everyone to your stations! Security's been breached! 00:39:56.987 --> 00:39:59.262 The perimeter's been compromised! 00:39:59.427 --> 00:40:01.497 Lock the gates! Call my dad! 00:40:05.787 --> 00:40:07.903 Hey, Dale, you seen Buck? 00:40:08.067 --> 00:40:10.103 Supposed to be back with the kids an hour ago. 00:40:10.267 --> 00:40:11.700 I wouldn't sweat it. 00:40:11.867 --> 00:40:16.019 Your dad's like the most responsible guy I ever met. 00:40:16.667 --> 00:40:19.261 Yeah, you're probably right. 00:40:22.747 --> 00:40:25.625 Get back here, you little rodents. 00:40:25.787 --> 00:40:27.015 Come on. Come on. 00:40:27.187 --> 00:40:31.738 No! No, no, no. Give me my pants back. 00:40:31.907 --> 00:40:33.022 Here's your diaper. 00:40:34.427 --> 00:40:36.497 Clean yourself off. 00:40:38.307 --> 00:40:39.660 Move out. 00:40:42.267 --> 00:40:46.738 Let go. Get back here, you cowards. 00:40:46.907 --> 00:40:49.944 No one messes with Lance Warner, you hear me? 00:40:50.107 --> 00:40:52.337 No one. 00:41:13.507 --> 00:41:15.338 G.I. Joe is turning red. 00:41:15.507 --> 00:41:17.338 Someone farted on his head. 00:41:17.507 --> 00:41:19.384 G.I. Joe is turning pink. 00:41:19.547 --> 00:41:21.299 Someone puked in the kitchen sink. 00:41:21.467 --> 00:41:23.185 G.I. Joe is turning white. 00:41:23.627 --> 00:41:25.458 The zippers on his pants are really tight. 00:41:25.627 --> 00:41:27.379 G.I. Joe is turning blue. 00:41:27.547 --> 00:41:29.458 There are peanuts in his poo. 00:41:29.627 --> 00:41:31.743 Company, halt. 00:41:31.907 --> 00:41:33.181 Where have you guys been? 00:41:33.347 --> 00:41:35.781 Your nature hike was supposed to be back an hour ago. 00:41:36.387 --> 00:41:38.139 Present colours. 00:41:44.387 --> 00:41:46.218 - You didn't? - Yes, sir. 00:41:47.027 --> 00:41:48.665 Robert, what happened to your head? 00:41:48.827 --> 00:41:51.341 It's just a battle wound. 00:41:52.787 --> 00:41:54.778 Dale, go get the first-aid kit. 00:41:54.947 --> 00:41:57.745 You take these kids off our premises without permission slips... 00:41:57.907 --> 00:41:59.386 ...and bring them back like this? 00:41:59.747 --> 00:42:01.021 Affirmative. 00:42:01.187 --> 00:42:03.655 See, this is exactly the thing I was afraid of. 00:42:03.867 --> 00:42:07.098 We restored our honour, Dad. It was just... 00:42:10.267 --> 00:42:14.738 What kind of insane militant nut factory you running here, huh? 00:42:14.907 --> 00:42:18.616 Huh, Charlie Hinton? Driftwood Class of '77. 00:42:18.787 --> 00:42:21.017 - That's right, I know who you are. - Listen, Lance. 00:42:21.187 --> 00:42:22.939 I'm really sorry about this. In fact... 00:42:23.107 --> 00:42:25.985 ...my father and I were just about to have a discussion about it. 00:42:26.147 --> 00:42:28.502 This is your father? 00:42:29.307 --> 00:42:32.265 Oh, this is classic. Oh, sure. 00:42:32.427 --> 00:42:34.463 The chicken's come home to roost, huh? 00:42:34.627 --> 00:42:37.585 Now I know why you don't want to compete in the Olympiad. 00:42:37.747 --> 00:42:39.897 You're afraid of getting your butt kicked again... 00:42:40.067 --> 00:42:41.785 ...in front of Lieutenant Prune Juice. 00:42:41.947 --> 00:42:43.016 Colonel. 00:42:43.187 --> 00:42:45.257 Oh, Colonel. Sorry. 00:42:45.427 --> 00:42:49.136 Look, Lance, I'm just trying to teach these kids about sportsmanship. 00:42:49.307 --> 00:42:53.505 No, the only thing you can teach these kids is how to lose. 00:42:54.427 --> 00:42:55.826 Or have you forgotten? 00:42:56.107 --> 00:42:59.861 "Daddy. Look at me. 00:43:08.507 --> 00:43:10.941 I'm a failure. " 00:43:15.507 --> 00:43:18.783 You know why my parents bought Camp Canola for me? 00:43:18.947 --> 00:43:20.175 No, why? 00:43:20.347 --> 00:43:23.225 Because that summer when I kicked your butt... 00:43:24.507 --> 00:43:26.782 ...that was the best moment of my life. 00:43:26.947 --> 00:43:30.098 And now, every day when I wake up, I get to live that dream. 00:43:30.267 --> 00:43:32.542 And it is fantastic. 00:43:32.707 --> 00:43:34.777 Peaked when you were 11, did you, Lance? 00:43:34.947 --> 00:43:37.142 See, I get it, Charlie. 00:43:37.307 --> 00:43:40.697 You don't want your kid to end up a loser like you. 00:43:42.147 --> 00:43:44.217 Like father, like son. 00:43:47.987 --> 00:43:49.978 Oh, sure. No, that's cool. You walk away. 00:43:50.147 --> 00:43:52.217 Yeah, because refusing to compete... 00:43:52.387 --> 00:43:53.945 ...just proves to the community... 00:43:54.107 --> 00:43:56.063 ...which camp they should send their kids to. 00:43:56.227 --> 00:43:58.422 Mine. 00:43:58.907 --> 00:44:00.625 Adiós. 00:44:06.227 --> 00:44:08.787 What I'd really like to do is kick your butt. 00:44:09.467 --> 00:44:12.823 Being as we're trying to set a good example here, mister... 00:44:12.987 --> 00:44:15.103 ...you got yourself an Olympiad. 00:44:15.267 --> 00:44:16.985 Yeah! 00:44:17.787 --> 00:44:20.221 Fantastic. 00:44:25.947 --> 00:44:27.346 Yeah. 00:44:28.387 --> 00:44:30.105 Good, good job. 00:44:30.267 --> 00:44:31.780 The great Julius Caesar once said... 00:44:31.947 --> 00:44:34.939 You were way out of line with what you did today. 00:44:35.107 --> 00:44:37.667 If we do this, we do it my way. You got it? 00:44:39.387 --> 00:44:42.265 - Affirmative. - Good. 00:44:42.427 --> 00:44:45.817 Now. What do you think we should do? 00:44:48.667 --> 00:44:50.897 A sleepover? 00:44:51.067 --> 00:44:52.978 I thought the whole purpose of day camp... 00:44:53.147 --> 00:44:55.707 ...was sending the kids home at the end of the day. 00:44:55.867 --> 00:44:58.142 It was your idea to get my father involved. 00:44:58.307 --> 00:45:00.662 According to Buck, the best way to build team unity... 00:45:00.827 --> 00:45:04.183 ...is to put the kids in a new situation where they have to work together... 00:45:04.347 --> 00:45:05.496 ...to overcome stuff. 00:45:05.667 --> 00:45:09.785 Well, I think someone wants to impress his own father. 00:45:10.427 --> 00:45:13.817 Listen, this Olympiad is gonna be good for business. 00:45:13.987 --> 00:45:16.820 Once those Canola parents see how well our kids work together... 00:45:16.987 --> 00:45:18.625 ...we might drum up new customers. 00:45:18.787 --> 00:45:21.142 If you think parents are gonna switch camps... 00:45:21.307 --> 00:45:24.344 ...based off of wins some silly events... 00:45:24.987 --> 00:45:29.299 Mrs. Hinton? I'm Edward Thumson from the bank. 00:45:31.387 --> 00:45:36.063 Yes, I'm aware of who you are, but what are you doing in my house? 00:45:36.227 --> 00:45:38.582 Is that real Tiffany crystal? 00:45:39.547 --> 00:45:41.026 It is standard procedure to do... 00:45:41.187 --> 00:45:43.257 ...a pre-inventory prior to the foreclosure. 00:45:43.427 --> 00:45:46.146 But the first instalment is not due until next week. 00:45:46.307 --> 00:45:48.184 True. But with only six campers... 00:45:48.387 --> 00:45:54.098 ...it is mathematically impossible for... - Actually, there's seven campers. 00:45:54.267 --> 00:45:58.101 - What's going on? - Oh, I'll tell you what's going on. 00:45:58.267 --> 00:46:00.178 We overextended ourselves with the camp. 00:46:00.347 --> 00:46:02.303 Now strange men are touching the furniture... 00:46:02.467 --> 00:46:03.946 ...messing with my mama's vase... 00:46:04.107 --> 00:46:06.462 ...Mr. Thumson's threatening to take my house away. 00:46:06.627 --> 00:46:08.777 Okay, okay. 00:46:08.947 --> 00:46:10.903 - I know what I gotta do. - What? 00:46:11.067 --> 00:46:13.137 - I'll sell the camp. - Listen to me. 00:46:13.307 --> 00:46:15.104 If you believe by winning this Olympiad... 00:46:15.267 --> 00:46:16.985 ...more kids will come to the camp... 00:46:17.147 --> 00:46:19.661 ...then you go kick some Lance Warner butt. 00:47:25.427 --> 00:47:28.339 Come on. Come on, soldier. 00:47:36.027 --> 00:47:37.301 Yes. 00:47:38.707 --> 00:47:40.186 Ben! Hey! 00:48:18.587 --> 00:48:21.465 Come on, son. 00:48:21.627 --> 00:48:23.538 - I know the song. - Well, what? 00:48:23.707 --> 00:48:26.096 You don't like being in the support vehicle with me... 00:48:26.267 --> 00:48:29.418 ...instead of out there with poison ivy, rocks and whatnot? Bugs. 00:48:29.587 --> 00:48:34.422 It's supposed to be a hike. I look like a goober. 00:48:34.587 --> 00:48:38.262 Okay. You're right. 00:48:41.467 --> 00:48:42.695 Oh, look at her. 00:48:43.867 --> 00:48:47.098 She even puts on bug spray like an angel. 00:48:47.267 --> 00:48:50.577 You're pathetic. Go walk with her. Get your groove on, dude. 00:48:50.747 --> 00:48:52.977 What makes you such an expert? You're only 6. 00:48:53.147 --> 00:48:56.822 I know I won't spend my best years buried in video games. 00:48:56.987 --> 00:48:59.262 Shut up. Don't make... 00:49:03.587 --> 00:49:05.100 Here, buddy. 00:49:06.307 --> 00:49:09.344 Stop it. Stop it. 00:49:10.507 --> 00:49:14.341 Hey, Billy? What's going on? 00:49:14.507 --> 00:49:15.940 Nothing. 00:49:16.107 --> 00:49:18.496 No wet willies to dish out? 00:49:18.667 --> 00:49:20.976 Maybe you could switch over to the purple nurple. 00:49:21.147 --> 00:49:23.820 No, I already gave one to Mayhoffer. 00:49:23.987 --> 00:49:28.139 It's just... I don't like sleepovers. That's all. 00:49:28.307 --> 00:49:29.899 And why is that? 00:49:31.707 --> 00:49:35.746 Come on, Billy, you can always trust a fat guy. I won't tell anybody. 00:49:35.907 --> 00:49:38.740 Cross my heart, hope to diet. 00:49:39.747 --> 00:49:42.784 - I sometimes wet the bed. - What? 00:49:43.747 --> 00:49:45.578 I sometimes wet the bed. 00:49:48.267 --> 00:49:50.462 You know what? 00:49:50.627 --> 00:49:52.902 I had the same problem till I was darn near 10. 00:49:53.067 --> 00:49:56.059 Really? What did you do at sleepovers? 00:49:56.227 --> 00:49:58.502 An excellent question, my young friend. 00:49:58.667 --> 00:50:00.578 I think you'll be intrigued by the answer. 00:50:07.147 --> 00:50:09.058 Get that equipment up, Brown. 00:50:09.227 --> 00:50:11.104 This is dumb. Why we gotta walk so far? 00:50:11.267 --> 00:50:13.417 Far? Halt. 00:50:13.587 --> 00:50:15.703 Now you listen up, hippie-hair. 00:50:15.867 --> 00:50:17.983 How are you gonna compete against Camp Canola... 00:50:18.147 --> 00:50:20.217 ...tomorrow morning with that kind of attitude? 00:50:21.347 --> 00:50:24.783 We have 12 events staring at us dead in the eye. 00:50:24.947 --> 00:50:26.938 We have got to toughen up. 00:50:27.107 --> 00:50:30.782 When I was your age, I used to march six miles into the woods... 00:50:30.947 --> 00:50:34.701 ...just to spend the night alone in a tree. Focus on a goal. 00:50:37.187 --> 00:50:39.417 I used to put rocks in my backpack... 00:50:39.587 --> 00:50:41.657 ...just to get stronger. 00:50:41.827 --> 00:50:45.342 That's how you grow up to be a man. Ain't that right, Ben? 00:50:45.507 --> 00:50:47.737 All right. Let's head out. 00:50:47.907 --> 00:50:50.137 Forward, march. 00:50:57.667 --> 00:50:59.578 Hey, Ben. What are you doing there, son? 00:50:59.747 --> 00:51:01.339 Nothing. 00:51:11.107 --> 00:51:15.419 I'm so full. 00:51:17.347 --> 00:51:19.577 I'm fuller than you. 00:51:21.507 --> 00:51:23.896 No one's as full as me. 00:51:26.307 --> 00:51:29.822 But now I've got room for dessert. Who wants S'mores? 00:51:33.347 --> 00:51:34.905 Anything I can help you with? 00:51:35.907 --> 00:51:38.137 Can't find the chocolate or the marshmallows. 00:51:38.307 --> 00:51:41.026 What are you talking about? They're in my bag. 00:51:43.587 --> 00:51:45.782 Who wants chocolate? 00:51:48.067 --> 00:51:50.297 What are we gonna roast? 00:52:05.747 --> 00:52:09.103 Nice job, Hinton. Your dad is such a schwing. 00:52:09.267 --> 00:52:11.417 I gotta roast something with a pit in it. 00:52:11.587 --> 00:52:14.465 Shut up. I don't like it any more than you do. 00:52:14.627 --> 00:52:15.855 It's not my fault. 00:52:19.147 --> 00:52:20.865 Dude, trust me. 00:52:21.027 --> 00:52:25.020 A star-filled sky, the warm glow of a fire... 00:52:25.187 --> 00:52:28.065 She'll be like Silly Putty in your hands. 00:52:28.227 --> 00:52:30.946 What makes you such an expert? 00:52:31.107 --> 00:52:33.826 Look, you know how grownups are always saying... 00:52:33.987 --> 00:52:36.057 ...they wish they knew then what they know now? 00:52:36.227 --> 00:52:39.344 - Yeah. - Well, I know. 00:52:39.507 --> 00:52:42.783 How are we ever gonna beat Canola with runts like you on our team? 00:52:42.947 --> 00:52:48.146 Yeah. What you gonna do, tiny? Bang your pan until they surrender? 00:52:53.987 --> 00:52:56.785 I think I burned my banana. 00:53:03.587 --> 00:53:05.498 - Hello. - Hey. 00:53:06.467 --> 00:53:08.617 How are you doing this fine evening? 00:53:08.787 --> 00:53:12.143 Pretty good. Never roasted a pear before, but it smells good. 00:53:12.307 --> 00:53:16.220 Yes, smells are good, and you, too, smell, Juliette. 00:53:16.387 --> 00:53:18.696 I mean, things smell... 00:53:18.867 --> 00:53:21.825 I mean, good, you smell. 00:53:21.987 --> 00:53:25.457 Sorry, it must have been from the hike, because... 00:53:25.627 --> 00:53:27.583 No, no, I mean... 00:53:29.507 --> 00:53:30.576 It's a nice night. 00:53:30.747 --> 00:53:34.456 Starry skies, a warm fire. 00:53:34.627 --> 00:53:36.538 Good food. 00:53:44.227 --> 00:53:45.546 Idiot. 00:53:51.067 --> 00:53:53.422 Great place you got there. What's the mortgage like? 00:53:53.587 --> 00:53:54.576 What are you doing? 00:53:54.747 --> 00:53:56.658 Sleeping in a hollowed-out log or something? 00:53:56.827 --> 00:53:59.102 It's called camping, private. You should try it. 00:53:59.267 --> 00:54:01.064 Yes, right. 00:54:02.107 --> 00:54:06.737 Jack, I think that banana is about as cooked as it's gonna get there. 00:54:06.907 --> 00:54:09.341 It's so slimy. 00:54:09.507 --> 00:54:12.021 No, it's roasting. It's supposed to bring out the flavour. 00:54:12.867 --> 00:54:15.256 Try it. You'll like it, I promise. 00:54:18.787 --> 00:54:21.017 Good, right? 00:54:28.427 --> 00:54:29.826 No! 00:54:33.587 --> 00:54:34.986 I'm done with that. 00:54:35.587 --> 00:54:37.418 That's nasty. 00:54:38.227 --> 00:54:40.138 You feel better? 00:55:09.587 --> 00:55:12.147 Sure you're gonna need that, son? 00:55:15.507 --> 00:55:18.704 Good Lord's filling the sky with a million nightlights. 00:55:19.427 --> 00:55:20.496 Just for you. 00:55:26.507 --> 00:55:29.624 Don't know why you got your panties in a wad tonight, Mayhoffer. 00:55:29.787 --> 00:55:32.665 We're all getting butt spackled tomorrow anyways. 00:55:32.827 --> 00:55:34.306 What are you talking about? 00:55:34.467 --> 00:55:37.664 You don't seriously think we can beat those rich Canola kids? 00:55:37.827 --> 00:55:39.499 Yeah, they're gonna cream us. 00:55:39.667 --> 00:55:41.976 Cream? Cream is for coffee. 00:55:43.547 --> 00:55:45.663 Okay. Listen up, troops. 00:55:47.387 --> 00:55:50.618 It's come to my attention some of you don't believe we can win tomorrow. 00:55:51.587 --> 00:55:52.815 Okay. 00:55:52.987 --> 00:55:57.026 Maybe they have fancy equipment. Gold-plated toilet paper. 00:55:57.187 --> 00:55:59.542 But we got something those snotty-nosed... 00:55:59.707 --> 00:56:01.663 ...silver-spoon brats will never have. 00:56:01.827 --> 00:56:04.944 - Do you want to know what that is? - Lice? 00:56:05.107 --> 00:56:07.416 Driftwood spirit. 00:56:07.587 --> 00:56:09.305 I didn't think you guys had it... 00:56:09.467 --> 00:56:11.822 ...but the way you pulled yourselves together today... 00:56:11.987 --> 00:56:14.581 ...made me prouder than any platoon I've ever led. 00:56:16.387 --> 00:56:18.776 - We couldn't have done it without you. - Nonsense. 00:56:18.947 --> 00:56:21.620 You couldn't have done it without this. 00:56:21.787 --> 00:56:25.336 Because it's Driftwood Camp spirit that links us all together... 00:56:25.507 --> 00:56:27.338 ...and makes it all possible. 00:56:28.067 --> 00:56:31.582 You're not just a bunch of kids that came together in camp. 00:56:31.747 --> 00:56:34.580 You're a team. Team. 00:56:34.747 --> 00:56:36.942 - Team. - Team. 00:56:37.107 --> 00:56:38.301 - Team. - Team. 00:56:38.467 --> 00:56:41.186 Team, team, team! 00:56:41.347 --> 00:56:42.575 And listen, team. 00:56:42.747 --> 00:56:46.296 Tomorrow, you're gonna take those lobster-eating... 00:56:46.467 --> 00:56:47.502 Yeah! 00:56:47.667 --> 00:56:49.976 ...those Humvee-driving... - Yeah! 00:56:50.147 --> 00:56:53.025 ...Canola cretins and you're gonna throw them in the dumper. 00:56:53.187 --> 00:56:55.621 - Yeah! - Yeah! 00:56:56.067 --> 00:56:58.706 Yeah! 00:56:58.907 --> 00:57:02.297 You don't think you're setting them up for a pretty big letdown? 00:57:03.067 --> 00:57:05.501 Well, in order to win the battle... 00:57:05.667 --> 00:57:09.023 ...one must first believe in the success of the mission. 00:57:09.187 --> 00:57:12.224 It's been a long time since you've been in battle. 00:57:13.187 --> 00:57:15.496 A minor technicality. 00:57:15.667 --> 00:57:18.465 Hey, have you guys seen Ben? I can't find him. 00:57:20.067 --> 00:57:22.297 - Ben? - Ben? 00:57:22.467 --> 00:57:23.900 - Ben! - Ben? 00:57:25.987 --> 00:57:27.864 - Ben! - Are you in there? 00:57:37.667 --> 00:57:40.056 - Ben. - Come out. 00:57:43.267 --> 00:57:45.337 Guys, I found him. 00:57:45.507 --> 00:57:46.781 Ben. 00:57:46.947 --> 00:57:50.940 Ben, get down from there. What are you doing? 00:57:51.107 --> 00:57:55.225 Get down. Where you been, man? We been looking all over for you. 00:57:55.387 --> 00:57:58.777 Listen, don't ever scare me like that again, you hear me? 00:57:58.947 --> 00:58:03.099 I'm okay. I just wanted to be like Grandpa, that's all. 00:58:03.267 --> 00:58:06.464 So you wandered off by yourself? You know how dangerous that is? 00:58:06.627 --> 00:58:09.187 Grandpa said it's what made him tough... 00:58:09.347 --> 00:58:11.907 ...so I thought it'd do the same for me. 00:58:12.067 --> 00:58:13.659 What? 00:58:16.027 --> 00:58:18.461 All right, guys, listen up. Listen to me. 00:58:18.627 --> 00:58:21.141 Let me tell you something about being tough, okay? 00:58:21.307 --> 00:58:23.423 Being tough doesn't necessarily make you a hero. 00:58:23.587 --> 00:58:28.058 Sometimes tough people grow up to be arrogant, selfish and stubborn. 00:58:28.227 --> 00:58:30.297 You guys just need to be yourselves. 00:58:30.467 --> 00:58:32.219 And know that by being yourselves... 00:58:32.387 --> 00:58:34.298 ...you're gonna be winners, no matter what. 00:58:34.467 --> 00:58:36.458 Even if we choke like you? 00:58:36.627 --> 00:58:39.539 Especially if you choke like me. 00:58:39.707 --> 00:58:40.696 Listen. 00:58:40.867 --> 00:58:44.223 I want you guys to grow up to be kind and caring... 00:58:44.387 --> 00:58:46.776 ...and accepting of people. 00:58:46.947 --> 00:58:49.620 Even if they make mistakes. 00:58:49.787 --> 00:58:53.826 So, Ben, don't try to be so tough, okay? 00:58:53.987 --> 00:58:57.184 Just try to be your best. That's all that matters. 00:58:57.347 --> 00:58:58.462 - Okay. - Okay? 00:58:58.627 --> 00:58:59.821 Okay. 00:59:01.667 --> 00:59:04.306 Okay, my little Olympians, time to rest up for the big day. 00:59:04.467 --> 00:59:06.901 - Oh, come on. - Come on. 00:59:10.147 --> 00:59:12.058 Calling Buck, man, what was I thinking? 00:59:12.227 --> 00:59:14.138 It's the only way he knows, Charlie. 00:59:14.307 --> 00:59:17.185 If that means him jeopardising any more kids, he can keep it. 00:59:17.347 --> 00:59:20.862 I don't want Ben to grow up to be anything like my father. 00:59:22.147 --> 00:59:24.377 Let's go. 00:59:52.707 --> 00:59:54.140 Shoot. 01:00:05.347 --> 01:00:08.384 What the heck is...? Oh, you nasty... 01:00:11.027 --> 01:00:13.177 This is a mistake. 01:00:40.227 --> 01:00:42.138 Wait for me. 01:00:49.027 --> 01:00:52.861 Yes. It worked. I'm dry. 01:00:53.027 --> 01:00:54.938 See? Told you, Billy. 01:00:55.107 --> 01:00:57.496 You always fool the bed-wetting goblins... 01:00:57.667 --> 01:00:59.578 ...if you sleep in your day clothes. 01:00:59.747 --> 01:01:01.658 Go play with the kids. 01:01:19.427 --> 01:01:24.217 Oh, my neck. I'm so cold. 01:01:24.387 --> 01:01:26.537 Feel like a human pincushion. 01:01:26.707 --> 01:01:30.461 - Relax, Charlie. Look around. - Oh, thank you. 01:01:33.347 --> 01:01:35.577 Would you look at that? 01:01:35.747 --> 01:01:37.817 They're running around, having a good time. 01:01:37.987 --> 01:01:41.821 Oh, Buck's gonna go on and on about how he was right... 01:01:41.987 --> 01:01:44.706 ...and I'm way too overprotective. 01:01:44.867 --> 01:01:47.427 Buck's not gonna go on and on about anything. 01:01:47.587 --> 01:01:49.976 I haven't seen him all morning. 01:02:04.227 --> 01:02:07.264 Sign up for camp, please? Driftwood? 01:02:07.427 --> 01:02:09.987 Hey, do you wanna sign up...? No? 01:02:10.667 --> 01:02:13.420 Well, as you can tell, we've obviously destroyed their camp... 01:02:13.587 --> 01:02:14.940 ...over the last couple years. 01:02:15.107 --> 01:02:18.622 I'm thinking, once we kick Driftwood's butt one more time... 01:02:18.787 --> 01:02:20.823 ...this is where the new hardware goes. 01:02:20.987 --> 01:02:23.899 What do you say? It's gonna be great. 01:02:24.787 --> 01:02:26.937 Hey, Chuck E. Cheese! 01:02:27.747 --> 01:02:29.339 Getting a little nervous? 01:02:30.307 --> 01:02:32.662 Let me give you the 411 on the day's events. 01:02:32.827 --> 01:02:34.101 Okay. 01:02:34.267 --> 01:02:38.146 The Olympiad starts. Your team sucks. You lose. 01:02:38.307 --> 01:02:39.899 The end. 01:02:41.507 --> 01:02:43.657 Good luck, Lance. 01:02:45.347 --> 01:02:46.939 I don't need luck. 01:02:54.587 --> 01:02:57.181 Okay, I'll take it from here. 01:02:59.427 --> 01:03:02.100 Forfeit! I forfeit! 01:03:03.347 --> 01:03:07.101 - Have you seen Grandpa Buck? - Col. Buck has been gone a long time. 01:03:07.267 --> 01:03:11.419 Guys, I'm sure he'll be here. Okay, so just reach to the left. 01:03:11.707 --> 01:03:12.696 Stretch. 01:03:14.547 --> 01:03:17.505 No news yet on Buck. Margaret's driving all over town. 01:03:17.667 --> 01:03:19.737 But I did find this in your office. 01:03:19.907 --> 01:03:22.467 "Charlie, Uncle Sam called about another job... 01:03:22.627 --> 01:03:25.619 ...which is just as well, seeing as things aren't working out here. 01:03:25.787 --> 01:03:27.903 Your tough Colonel Buck. " 01:03:28.067 --> 01:03:30.422 - I'll keep looking. - Okay. 01:03:30.587 --> 01:03:32.703 Is that from Grandpa? 01:03:34.147 --> 01:03:36.377 Yes. Yes, it is. 01:03:36.547 --> 01:03:39.220 He's not coming back? 01:03:39.387 --> 01:03:41.582 Well, no. 01:03:41.747 --> 01:03:44.341 He's the one that showed us how to do everything. 01:03:44.507 --> 01:03:46.896 We're gonna get whupped. I don't get whupped. 01:03:47.067 --> 01:03:48.386 I do the whupping. 01:03:48.547 --> 01:03:50.936 We're doomed. Doomed, I tell you. 01:03:51.107 --> 01:03:52.699 Wait, wait, wait a minute. 01:03:52.867 --> 01:03:56.223 Just because Buck got called away to serve his country last night... 01:03:56.387 --> 01:03:59.743 ...doesn't mean we take everything he taught us and just let it go to waste. 01:04:00.867 --> 01:04:03.665 - He deserted us. - Without so much as a "see you. " 01:04:03.827 --> 01:04:07.740 No, no, no. He didn't. It's here in the letter, listen. 01:04:07.907 --> 01:04:10.626 "Dear Ben, Max, Juliette, Robert... 01:04:10.787 --> 01:04:14.860 ...Carl, Jack, Becca, Billy, and Mullet: 01:04:15.027 --> 01:04:17.939 Sorry to leave in the night without even saying, 'See you'... 01:04:18.107 --> 01:04:21.338 ...but it's important that you don't panic. 01:04:21.507 --> 01:04:24.544 The 103rd Airborne is staging manoeuvres tonight... 01:04:24.707 --> 01:04:28.985 ...and let's just say they could learn something about teamwork from you. " 01:04:29.147 --> 01:04:32.219 The 103rd was retired after World War II. 01:04:32.387 --> 01:04:34.537 Tell you what? They're bringing it back. 01:04:34.707 --> 01:04:37.938 - We can't do this without Buck. - Yeah. 01:04:38.107 --> 01:04:41.019 Sure we can. You know what? He would've wanted it that way. 01:04:41.187 --> 01:04:43.098 You know why? Because we're a family. 01:04:43.267 --> 01:04:46.384 We'll pull each other up, because that's what families do. 01:04:46.547 --> 01:04:49.664 If family's so important, why'd Grandpa Buck leave? 01:04:49.827 --> 01:04:51.579 Yeah. 01:05:09.107 --> 01:05:11.905 - Going that well, huh? - Best day of my life. 01:05:12.867 --> 01:05:15.427 Well, Ben seems upset about Buck leaving. 01:05:16.227 --> 01:05:17.501 Yeah. 01:05:18.627 --> 01:05:22.779 You know why grandkids and grandparents get along so well? 01:05:22.947 --> 01:05:25.256 They're united by a common enemy. 01:05:26.627 --> 01:05:28.219 Makes sense. 01:05:29.347 --> 01:05:33.659 I'm saying, if you and Buck could unite around each other's strengths... 01:05:33.827 --> 01:05:36.182 ...Ben could have the best of both worlds. 01:05:39.267 --> 01:05:41.986 Go get them, coach. For all of us. 01:05:49.187 --> 01:05:53.021 Good news. Found this in Buck's cabin. 01:05:56.387 --> 01:05:59.424 I'll watch after the kids. You go make things right. 01:05:59.587 --> 01:06:01.179 Thanks. 01:06:43.427 --> 01:06:45.987 You missed your train. 01:06:46.627 --> 01:06:49.505 I missed a train. 01:06:49.987 --> 01:06:52.376 Haven't really decided which one I'm getting on yet. 01:06:54.467 --> 01:06:56.662 I thought you had to be back for manoeuvres. 01:06:56.867 --> 01:07:00.064 That's true, but next year. 01:07:00.547 --> 01:07:03.584 That's about as often as they let a broke-down retiree... 01:07:03.747 --> 01:07:05.817 ...come out and play with the reservists. 01:07:08.867 --> 01:07:10.744 "Retiree. " 01:07:14.307 --> 01:07:16.696 About the only action I get these days... 01:07:16.867 --> 01:07:19.586 ...is when college students are doing... 01:07:19.747 --> 01:07:22.056 ...research papers on military history. 01:07:26.947 --> 01:07:28.380 So... 01:07:28.547 --> 01:07:31.744 ...you abandoned your post this morning. 01:07:31.907 --> 01:07:34.626 Good soldier knows when he's in hostile territory. 01:07:35.707 --> 01:07:38.426 You heard me last night, didn't you? 01:07:38.747 --> 01:07:42.740 I guess I've had a few things on my mind over the last... 01:07:42.907 --> 01:07:45.102 ...30 years or so. 01:07:45.947 --> 01:07:48.541 I didn't even know you felt that way. 01:07:51.867 --> 01:07:54.427 Strange, getting older. 01:07:56.347 --> 01:07:59.703 Easier remembering things the way you wish they were. 01:08:04.347 --> 01:08:06.781 I want you to know I'm proud of the man you've become. 01:08:09.827 --> 01:08:11.863 The way you make adjustments in the field... 01:08:12.027 --> 01:08:15.383 ...like opening a day care centre when you lost your job. 01:08:18.747 --> 01:08:20.658 Me, I wouldn't be able to do that. 01:08:23.587 --> 01:08:26.147 I've always needed more structure. 01:08:30.427 --> 01:08:35.057 I'm far from perfect, believe me. Far from it. 01:08:39.547 --> 01:08:43.256 I know one thing though, those kids are gonna be crushed... 01:08:43.427 --> 01:08:47.102 ...unless your leathery old butt comes back. 01:09:02.747 --> 01:09:04.385 Do you smell gasoline? 01:09:34.587 --> 01:09:35.906 That's right. 01:09:41.907 --> 01:09:46.139 Minor setback, people. We'll get them in the next event. 01:09:46.307 --> 01:09:49.140 Wrestling? Have you seen Max wrestle? 01:09:49.307 --> 01:09:51.218 He's right. I suck. 01:09:51.387 --> 01:09:55.665 Yeah. And that Canola guy's hairier than my grandmother's mole. 01:09:55.827 --> 01:09:56.816 We're stewed. 01:09:56.987 --> 01:09:59.262 Can't we just go home? This is embarrassing. 01:09:59.427 --> 01:10:01.895 No one's going anywhere until we win this thing. 01:10:02.067 --> 01:10:05.298 - Grandpa Buck. - Yay. 01:10:05.467 --> 01:10:08.664 Okay. Hands in, soldiers. 01:10:12.787 --> 01:10:15.665 It's another beautiful woodchuck day. 01:10:18.267 --> 01:10:22.101 I knew you'd come back, Grandpa. We couldn't do this without you. 01:10:22.267 --> 01:10:25.339 That's where you're wrong. Your dad is the hero. 01:10:25.507 --> 01:10:26.496 My dad? 01:10:29.787 --> 01:10:32.779 Don't you realise he did all this just for you? 01:10:33.787 --> 01:10:36.506 You're pretty lucky to have Charlie Hinton... 01:10:36.667 --> 01:10:38.897 ...as a father. 01:10:39.507 --> 01:10:42.579 He's a better soldier than I'll ever be. 01:10:43.227 --> 01:10:45.104 I could never run a camp like he can... 01:10:45.267 --> 01:10:47.656 ...or watch over you and your mom like he does. 01:10:48.347 --> 01:10:51.384 He may be a little overprotective... 01:10:51.547 --> 01:10:54.619 ...but it's only because he loves you so much. 01:11:01.947 --> 01:11:05.906 - Colonel, we've got a problem. - Yeah, dude. 01:11:06.067 --> 01:11:08.058 What's the situation on the ground, soldiers? 01:11:08.227 --> 01:11:11.742 My calculations suggest they've cheated in nearly every event. 01:11:13.027 --> 01:11:14.938 Cheaters, huh? 01:11:15.747 --> 01:11:16.975 Well... 01:11:17.147 --> 01:11:20.617 ...the only way to beat cheaters is by outsmarting them. 01:11:21.987 --> 01:11:23.420 I've got an idea. 01:11:23.747 --> 01:11:26.056 Okay. Okay, okay. 01:11:26.267 --> 01:11:29.339 First, we're gonna need the skunk. 01:11:29.507 --> 01:11:33.295 Here we go. Come on, good D, thattaway. 01:11:33.467 --> 01:11:35.697 Thattaboy. There we go. 01:11:35.867 --> 01:11:38.540 Ref, come on, man. I'm growing old. 01:11:40.507 --> 01:11:41.986 Look, here he comes. 01:12:31.227 --> 01:12:33.183 Ref. Substitution. 01:14:14.387 --> 01:14:16.457 Good job, Robert. Good job. 01:14:16.627 --> 01:14:18.936 Yeah, thattaway, purple. There we go, yeah. 01:14:27.267 --> 01:14:30.464 That's too bad, Driftwood. That's tough luck. 01:14:30.627 --> 01:14:34.176 Good hands, though, kid. Good hands. 01:14:36.707 --> 01:14:41.223 We've got a sharpshooter. We gotta do something. 01:14:42.747 --> 01:14:45.307 Give me a balloon. 01:14:46.587 --> 01:14:50.262 Billy? The water pump's over there. 01:14:50.427 --> 01:14:53.783 No, I'm not filling it with water. 01:14:53.947 --> 01:14:58.896 I've been holding this in all night. 01:15:06.427 --> 01:15:09.658 You shouldn't pick on kids smaller than you. 01:15:12.547 --> 01:15:14.902 Yeah. Good catch. Good catch. 01:15:15.067 --> 01:15:18.616 It's pee! It's pee! It's pee! 01:15:18.787 --> 01:15:22.063 It's pee! Mom, it's pee! 01:15:24.387 --> 01:15:25.502 Yes! 01:15:30.107 --> 01:15:33.622 We're the tiebreaker. We're gonna get the tiebreaker. 01:15:36.227 --> 01:15:40.300 It's another beautiful woodchuck day. 01:15:46.427 --> 01:15:48.497 Suck it up. Let's go. 01:15:48.667 --> 01:15:51.545 Jeez, embarrassing. 01:15:56.987 --> 01:15:59.547 Okay, let's go get them. Remember what we talked about. 01:15:59.707 --> 01:16:02.301 We need this one. We need this one. 01:16:02.747 --> 01:16:05.022 That look familiar, Charlie? 01:16:05.187 --> 01:16:07.860 You lose this, it's déjà vu all over again. 01:16:08.027 --> 01:16:11.417 Yeah, well, I got my best athlete here, waiting to change history. 01:16:11.587 --> 01:16:13.259 Let's go, buddy, come on. 01:16:14.587 --> 01:16:15.736 You okay? 01:16:15.907 --> 01:16:20.025 I twisted my ankle when I fell. I could shoot the arrow fine, but... 01:16:20.187 --> 01:16:24.226 - But can you climb? - I don't know. I don't think so. 01:16:24.387 --> 01:16:26.264 You can forfeit, Charlie, if you like. 01:16:26.427 --> 01:16:29.578 No, no, that's okay. Who's our best climber? 01:16:35.507 --> 01:16:39.580 - I can do it, Dad. - All right. Come on, son. 01:16:41.467 --> 01:16:44.140 You're gonna race that kid. That's gonna be tough, huh? 01:16:44.307 --> 01:16:46.741 - Yeah, real tough. - Like father, like son, huh? 01:16:46.907 --> 01:16:48.545 Don't listen to him. Come on. 01:16:48.707 --> 01:16:50.743 All right. Come on, let's go. 01:16:50.907 --> 01:16:52.818 - All right. - Go get him. 01:16:52.987 --> 01:16:55.547 Okay, Ben, listen to me. 01:16:55.707 --> 01:16:57.777 Whatever you do... 01:16:58.107 --> 01:17:01.304 ...don't drop the baton, okay? 01:17:02.907 --> 01:17:04.499 Ben. 01:17:04.667 --> 01:17:07.386 Just enjoy it. 01:17:13.827 --> 01:17:15.499 Okay, here it comes. 01:17:15.707 --> 01:17:18.426 All right, focus. Here we go. 01:17:19.267 --> 01:17:20.620 Come on, Ben. 01:17:39.107 --> 01:17:40.301 Go get him. 01:17:40.827 --> 01:17:42.738 - Go Ben! - Go Ben! 01:17:44.707 --> 01:17:47.824 - Come on. Get up there. - Come on, Ben. 01:17:47.987 --> 01:17:51.423 - Get them little legs going. - Come on, Ben. 01:17:51.587 --> 01:17:52.702 Go, Ben. 01:17:53.347 --> 01:17:55.383 Come on, Ben. 01:18:01.827 --> 01:18:03.818 It's okay. It's okay, son. 01:18:04.027 --> 01:18:06.905 I told you, you're a loser, just like your old man. 01:18:07.067 --> 01:18:08.785 You're not a loser, Ben. 01:18:08.947 --> 01:18:12.622 He greased the wall. He's cheating. 01:18:13.307 --> 01:18:16.936 No, don't listen to her. She's a compulsive liar. 01:18:17.107 --> 01:18:19.496 And she steals. 01:18:19.667 --> 01:18:23.262 - You cheated. - You're a cheater. You're a cheater. 01:18:23.427 --> 01:18:27.215 Canola cheats. He's cheating. He's a cheater. 01:18:27.387 --> 01:18:30.902 He's a cheater. Canola cheats. He's a cheater! 01:18:31.067 --> 01:18:34.742 Ben, no, no. Get down from there. That's dangerous, Ben. 01:18:34.907 --> 01:18:37.819 Ben. Please, please, Ben. Ben, get down from there. 01:18:38.907 --> 01:18:41.296 No, no, that's dangerous. Ben, that's dangerous. 01:18:43.227 --> 01:18:44.785 Pounce, Bobby J. Here we go. 01:18:45.267 --> 01:18:46.700 Up that wall. 01:18:49.907 --> 01:18:51.260 Bobby J, go, go, go. 01:18:51.427 --> 01:18:52.940 Go! 01:19:08.667 --> 01:19:11.420 That's my baby. That is my... That's my baby. Yeah! 01:19:11.587 --> 01:19:15.023 Oh, whoa, hey, what...? Hey. All right, Bobby J, come here. 01:19:15.187 --> 01:19:16.984 - Come here, buddy. - I did it, Daddy. 01:19:17.147 --> 01:19:20.298 - I know it, buddy. - I love you, Dad. 01:19:21.307 --> 01:19:25.346 I love you too, son. I love you too, you crazy kid. 01:19:25.507 --> 01:19:27.065 You call that Canola? 01:19:27.227 --> 01:19:29.616 That was embarrassing. What are you, a moron? 01:19:29.787 --> 01:19:31.664 Moron? You're the moron. 01:19:36.667 --> 01:19:38.897 Wall coming down. 01:19:43.827 --> 01:19:47.581 That's for telling everyone you're not my dad. 01:19:47.747 --> 01:19:49.783 I'm so excited. I'm so excited. 01:19:49.947 --> 01:19:53.019 Let's go tell my mom. She's here to pick me up. 01:19:53.187 --> 01:19:56.020 You were really great in the Egg Relay. 01:19:59.867 --> 01:20:03.655 What'd I tell you? Chicks love gold medallists. 01:20:03.827 --> 01:20:06.102 Teach me everything you know. 01:20:06.267 --> 01:20:09.816 Well, first you got a bird, and then you got a bee. 01:20:13.867 --> 01:20:15.698 Why? 01:20:15.867 --> 01:20:18.062 Why? 01:20:21.667 --> 01:20:23.100 Okay. 01:20:23.267 --> 01:20:25.622 - Mr. Hinton? - Hi. 01:20:25.787 --> 01:20:28.938 All the parents think Camp Canola may not set... 01:20:29.107 --> 01:20:30.904 ...the best example for our children. 01:20:31.067 --> 01:20:33.945 And so, if it's not too short of notice... 01:20:34.107 --> 01:20:37.622 ...we'd like our kids to come to your camp as soon as possible. 01:20:37.787 --> 01:20:40.824 Too short notice? Don't be silly. There's room enough for everyone. 01:20:40.987 --> 01:20:45.617 Yeah, Dale and I can sign all you guys up. Welcome. 01:20:48.867 --> 01:20:51.779 - It was really my son who did all this. - Colonel? 01:20:52.507 --> 01:20:54.941 Job well done. 01:20:58.267 --> 01:20:59.825 Just call me Dad. 01:21:08.827 --> 01:21:10.624 Hey, what do you say we go get the trophy? 01:21:10.787 --> 01:21:13.665 - Yeah! - Okay.