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00:01:33.827 --> 00:01:34.942
Got some.

00:02:24.947 --> 00:02:28.383
- Dad peed in his pants.
- Get used to it, son.

00:02:28.547 --> 00:02:30.617
When I'm old,
you'll have to change my diaper.

00:02:36.227 --> 00:02:38.946
Another year over. I can't believe it.

00:02:39.107 --> 00:02:40.859
I can't believe our sons are 7.

00:02:41.027 --> 00:02:43.416
In a couple years,
they'll be starting a band...

00:02:43.587 --> 00:02:45.020
...growing their hair long...

00:02:45.187 --> 00:02:47.064
...stealing your Suburban
to go on tour.

00:02:49.027 --> 00:02:52.178
Charlie, we have ourselves
a situation.

00:02:52.347 --> 00:02:53.621
Okay, I'll be a minute.

00:02:53.787 --> 00:02:54.856
Phil. Phil.

00:02:56.467 --> 00:02:59.265
Rare. Good. See?

00:03:00.547 --> 00:03:02.617
Save room for cake.

00:03:10.267 --> 00:03:13.498
Never mind that on the cake.

00:03:16.707 --> 00:03:18.777
- Hey, Mom.
- Hey, slow down.

00:03:18.947 --> 00:03:23.099
It was the end of Summer Olympiad
between us and our rival camp.

00:03:23.267 --> 00:03:25.337
The final event: The relay race.

00:03:25.507 --> 00:03:28.419
Coming down the stretch,
I was flying like the wind.

00:03:28.587 --> 00:03:30.179
You were sweating sheets of rain.

00:03:30.347 --> 00:03:32.178
You could barely move
in a straight line.

00:03:32.347 --> 00:03:34.144
- I was still in the lead.
- Whatever.

00:03:34.307 --> 00:03:37.026
I hand the baton to Charlie,
he drops it, we lose everything.

00:03:37.187 --> 00:03:40.338
Then Lance Warner flew
right past you to the finish line.

00:03:40.507 --> 00:03:44.386
I hated that snot-nosed little brat.
He's why I didn't have a good time.

00:03:45.547 --> 00:03:49.096
Honey, why is Ben going on and on
about going off to camp?

00:03:49.267 --> 00:03:51.781
The permission slip's been
on the fridge for three weeks.

00:03:51.947 --> 00:03:54.256
He really wants to go,
and I think he should.

00:03:54.427 --> 00:03:57.464
Well, Phil and I have talked,
the boys aren't going.

00:03:57.627 --> 00:04:00.221
- What do you mean?
- I mean, they're not going.

00:04:00.387 --> 00:04:02.617
All those snakes and spiders
and wedgies.

00:04:02.787 --> 00:04:05.506
Just because you had
a bad experience as a kid at camp...

00:04:05.667 --> 00:04:07.703
...doesn't mean
our son will have one too.

00:04:07.867 --> 00:04:11.496
- What are you talking about?
- I was there. You were scarred for life.

00:04:11.667 --> 00:04:13.976
I'm on the ground,
staring up at my father.

00:04:14.147 --> 00:04:16.058
He stands there
with a look of disapproval.

00:04:16.227 --> 00:04:18.946
Just over some stupid camp game.

00:04:19.107 --> 00:04:22.782
I won't allow my son to let
anything like that happen to him.

00:04:22.947 --> 00:04:26.257
He will know I love and support him
no matter what.

00:04:27.107 --> 00:04:30.144
Good. Then you can love
and support him going to camp.

00:04:30.307 --> 00:04:32.502
You didn't hear what I just said?

00:04:32.667 --> 00:04:37.104
Yes, I did, and he's not you,
and you definitely are not your father.

00:04:38.307 --> 00:04:41.026
Oh, and you're driving them.

00:04:58.787 --> 00:05:00.664
There it is. Camp Canola.

00:05:02.867 --> 00:05:05.256
You don't want to go to rival Canola.

00:05:05.427 --> 00:05:06.940
But that's where everyone goes.

00:05:07.107 --> 00:05:10.144
No, if you wanna go to camp,
you wanna go to Driftwood.

00:05:10.307 --> 00:05:12.457
Yeah, Camp Canola's
some rundown shack...

00:05:12.627 --> 00:05:14.299
...on a piece of swamp land.

00:05:31.587 --> 00:05:33.976
At least, it used to be.

00:05:39.267 --> 00:05:42.304
- Cool.
- Awesome.

00:05:52.067 --> 00:05:54.023
It's a lake. I don't remember a lake.

00:05:58.467 --> 00:06:00.298
Well, this ain't nothing.

00:06:00.467 --> 00:06:02.298
Wait till you see
where you are going.

00:06:02.467 --> 00:06:03.741
Camp Driftwood.

00:06:16.507 --> 00:06:17.826
What the heck?

00:06:24.387 --> 00:06:27.265
Yeah, well, you're crazy, Morty.
That's the best offer...

00:06:27.427 --> 00:06:29.497
...you're ever gonna get
for this craphole.

00:06:29.667 --> 00:06:33.660
I'm doing you a favour, butthead.
You're crazy, Morty.

00:06:34.307 --> 00:06:37.344
- Are you folks lost?
- No, we're here to check out the camp.

00:06:38.787 --> 00:06:41.665
You want to bring your kids here?

00:06:44.547 --> 00:06:47.186
That's beautiful.

00:06:47.907 --> 00:06:48.896
Yeah.

00:06:50.867 --> 00:06:53.620
Hey, good luck with that.

00:07:00.067 --> 00:07:01.864
Okay, kids, come on.

00:07:02.027 --> 00:07:04.177
Didn't you hear? Camp's closed.

00:07:04.347 --> 00:07:05.416
- Yes.
- Yes.

00:07:05.587 --> 00:07:08.340
What happened?
This place used to be the best.

00:07:08.507 --> 00:07:12.056
Well, now seems
like everybody wants newer, better...

00:07:12.227 --> 00:07:14.616
...properly licensed and bonded.

00:07:14.787 --> 00:07:17.984
They want Camp Canola
down the road.

00:07:18.147 --> 00:07:19.580
You guys went to Driftwood?

00:07:19.747 --> 00:07:21.339
Yeah, we were here
when we were kids.

00:07:21.507 --> 00:07:25.659
Then you know. This place really used
to be something special.

00:07:25.827 --> 00:07:29.661
And Canola was a dump.
Then some rich family bought it...

00:07:29.827 --> 00:07:33.456
...eventually turned it over
to that mutant son of theirs.

00:07:33.627 --> 00:07:35.299
What's gonna happen to Driftwood?

00:07:35.467 --> 00:07:38.618
Well, soon I'm gonna have no choice
but to sell it to Canola.

00:07:38.787 --> 00:07:43.099
It's a pity. Because all he wants
to do is bulldoze over it.

00:07:43.267 --> 00:07:44.541
Can you believe it?

00:07:44.707 --> 00:07:48.336
That kid has been a pain in my heinie
since he won the '77 Olympiad.

00:07:49.027 --> 00:07:52.861
I just hate to give that jerk
Lance Warner the satisfaction.

00:07:55.147 --> 00:07:56.216
Warner? Lance Warner?

00:07:56.387 --> 00:07:58.298
He wants to buy this camp
and tear it down?

00:07:58.467 --> 00:07:59.456
Our camp?

00:07:59.627 --> 00:08:01.026
You bought a what?

00:08:01.187 --> 00:08:03.906
Not the whole camp,
a partnership with the original owner.

00:08:04.067 --> 00:08:06.627
I know the day care centre
has been successful...

00:08:06.787 --> 00:08:09.096
...but you've spent a lot
fixing this house up...

00:08:09.267 --> 00:08:10.541
...to accommodate more kids.

00:08:10.707 --> 00:08:13.824
The Daddy Day Care brand
means a lot in this town.

00:08:13.987 --> 00:08:16.706
Re-purposing that brand into summer
is just smart business.

00:08:16.867 --> 00:08:18.380
Do you know how to run a camp?

00:08:18.547 --> 00:08:21.857
That's just it. I'm not gonna run
the camp, Uncle Morty is.

00:08:22.027 --> 00:08:23.745
Phil and I are just gonna help out.

00:08:23.907 --> 00:08:26.137
So I'll spend as much time
with Ben as possible.

00:08:26.307 --> 00:08:27.740
But you hate the outdoors.

00:08:27.907 --> 00:08:31.741
Yes, but I hate Lance Warner more.
No way my son's going to his camp.

00:08:31.907 --> 00:08:35.422
Please just send him to Canola.
That's where all his friends are.

00:08:35.587 --> 00:08:36.656
No. No way.

00:08:38.227 --> 00:08:43.426
Listen, my father sent me to camp
and it didn't go so great. Okay?

00:08:43.587 --> 00:08:46.943
Maybe I can give Ben
the positive experience I never had.

00:08:49.627 --> 00:08:51.902
Just promise me you'll let...

00:08:52.067 --> 00:08:54.456
...this Uncle Morty do
the real outdoorsy stuff.

00:08:54.627 --> 00:08:56.538
I don't wanna have to send
a search party...

00:08:56.707 --> 00:08:59.096
...to come rescue your lost butt
in the woods.

00:09:03.267 --> 00:09:06.543
Come on, Sally, now,
don't play hard to get.

00:09:06.707 --> 00:09:08.060
Oh, you little tease.

00:09:08.227 --> 00:09:10.616
Oh, you... I've gotcha.

00:09:13.267 --> 00:09:15.656
It's another beautiful
woodchuck day, baby.

00:09:15.827 --> 00:09:18.466
Hey, that's great.
You remember the old cheer.

00:09:18.627 --> 00:09:22.142
I can't thank you guys enough.
I mean, you saved the old place.

00:09:22.307 --> 00:09:24.867
Yeah, well, with your help,
I'll show that Lance Warner...

00:09:25.027 --> 00:09:27.063
...how to run a good
old-fashioned summer camp.

00:09:27.227 --> 00:09:29.422
Swell. I'll see you guys
in September.

00:09:29.587 --> 00:09:30.576
Say what, now?

00:09:31.667 --> 00:09:33.020
Uncle Morty?

00:09:34.627 --> 00:09:37.664
Excuse me. Morty, you can't leave.

00:09:37.827 --> 00:09:40.785
You're supposed to be overseeing
the camp. We're partners.

00:09:40.947 --> 00:09:43.097
I've been watching over this camp
for 30 years.

00:09:43.267 --> 00:09:45.827
It's time I took a vacation, partner.

00:09:45.987 --> 00:09:48.057
Don't worry.
Dale here will show you the ropes.

00:09:48.227 --> 00:09:52.061
- He's the best counsellor I got.
- No, Morty, wait. You can't leave.

00:09:52.827 --> 00:09:54.783
Wait. Come back.

00:10:03.227 --> 00:10:05.616
What was that about?

00:10:06.227 --> 00:10:07.865
This is my first day.

00:10:22.147 --> 00:10:23.819
Charles Hinton?

00:10:23.987 --> 00:10:26.899
- I'm Charlie.
- I'm from FM J Bank.

00:10:27.667 --> 00:10:30.022
No doubt your uncle Morty
informed you of the liens...

00:10:30.187 --> 00:10:32.826
...we have against your property.
- Informed?

00:10:32.987 --> 00:10:34.943
He just took his little fishy
up the road.

00:10:35.107 --> 00:10:36.540
As the business has no clients...

00:10:36.707 --> 00:10:38.743
...therefore no discernible
means of income...

00:10:38.907 --> 00:10:41.865
...the bank will have no choice
but to foreclose on the property.

00:10:42.027 --> 00:10:43.096
- Foreclose?
- Foreclose?

00:10:44.547 --> 00:10:46.299
Let me ask you something.

00:10:46.467 --> 00:10:49.300
What if this camp could show
discernible means of income?

00:10:49.947 --> 00:10:51.221
Continue.

00:10:51.387 --> 00:10:53.662
We have run
the Daddy Day Care Center...

00:10:53.827 --> 00:10:55.738
...successfully
for the past several years.

00:10:55.907 --> 00:10:58.467
Allow us to use the hard-earned trust
that name brings...

00:10:58.627 --> 00:11:00.060
...to build in new clientele.

00:11:00.827 --> 00:11:02.738
I suppose I could recommend
to the bank...

00:11:02.907 --> 00:11:05.660
...that we extend the debt
for about a month.

00:11:05.827 --> 00:11:08.182
Assuming, of course,
that you can maintain the camp...

00:11:08.347 --> 00:11:10.542
...and a client base
of at least 30 children.

00:11:11.147 --> 00:11:13.342
We'll have it in tiptop shape
in no time.

00:11:22.787 --> 00:11:26.143
Yeah, you got a methane problem,
all right.

00:11:26.307 --> 00:11:28.377
Gonna have to have
that baby pumped.

00:11:28.547 --> 00:11:29.662
Oh, crap.

00:11:29.827 --> 00:11:32.705
Yeah, you said it. Gonna need
a whole new septic tank...

00:11:32.867 --> 00:11:36.223
...new plumbing, the works.
Cost you about 14.

00:11:36.387 --> 00:11:38.298
- Hundred?
- Thousand.

00:11:38.627 --> 00:11:42.063
You know what?
We'll buy the kids gas masks.

00:11:42.227 --> 00:11:44.866
It's your party, pally,
but that methane is dangerous.

00:11:45.027 --> 00:11:47.541
You boys best be careful.

00:11:50.947 --> 00:11:54.940
- Phil.
- What? That wasn't me.

00:13:01.027 --> 00:13:02.938
Okay, here's your lunch, sweetie.

00:13:03.107 --> 00:13:05.985
It's a sugar-free, wheat-free,
gluten-free, tofu nugget.

00:13:06.147 --> 00:13:10.265
You have your Sidekick with text,
GPS locator in case you get lost...

00:13:10.427 --> 00:13:12.736
...and waterproof sunscreen,
in case it gets sunny...

00:13:12.907 --> 00:13:15.740
...while it's still raining.
- Mother, it's day camp.

00:13:15.907 --> 00:13:17.818
I'll be seven miles away.

00:13:17.987 --> 00:13:20.023
And home before dinner.

00:13:20.187 --> 00:13:21.666
Did you take your Xanax?

00:13:23.387 --> 00:13:25.025
I don't wanna go to camp in the rain.

00:13:25.187 --> 00:13:27.257
I wanna stay home
watching nudie flicks.

00:13:27.427 --> 00:13:30.305
The brochure said there would be sun.
Please behave yourself.

00:13:30.467 --> 00:13:33.345
And for the love of God,
try not to make anyone bleed.

00:13:33.507 --> 00:13:35.896
Take your Dramamine now
before you get on the bus...

00:13:36.067 --> 00:13:37.978
...then later if you ride a horse...

00:13:38.147 --> 00:13:40.377
...or anything that bounces
or gently sways.

00:13:40.547 --> 00:13:43.505
- What about my Pepto?
- Save that for lunch.

00:13:43.667 --> 00:13:46.135
And your Beano,
in case you have a snack.

00:14:05.347 --> 00:14:08.020
It's another beautiful woodchuck day.

00:14:12.387 --> 00:14:16.062
Promise you'll put those games away
and try to be social this summer.

00:14:16.227 --> 00:14:18.616
Die, alien scum, die.

00:14:20.387 --> 00:14:23.026
Carl, please don't let the other kids
tease your brother.

00:14:23.467 --> 00:14:25.185
What am I? Dr. Phil?

00:14:25.347 --> 00:14:28.384
I've got nothing to work with here.

00:14:28.867 --> 00:14:30.778
Archibald Lawrence Mapleton?

00:14:30.947 --> 00:14:35.418
Call me, Mullet. Business up front,
party in the back, baby.

00:14:35.587 --> 00:14:37.339
Juliette Stone?

00:14:37.507 --> 00:14:39.577
Present.

00:14:40.867 --> 00:14:43.586
Holy Hogwarts.

00:14:44.227 --> 00:14:47.902
Watch the merchandise, dude.

00:15:06.947 --> 00:15:11.304
- I still got it, huh?
- I can't hear! My ears!

00:15:15.107 --> 00:15:19.544
Okay, this is it. Time to give them
a summer they'll never forget.

00:15:32.227 --> 00:15:34.457
They won't forget that.

00:15:45.347 --> 00:15:48.180
Nature walkers, lotion up.

00:15:50.147 --> 00:15:51.978
Okay, Robin Hoods, gather around.

00:15:52.187 --> 00:15:53.745
Everybody take a bow.

00:15:53.907 --> 00:15:55.340
There you go.

00:15:55.507 --> 00:15:57.418
There's enough for everyone.
There you go.

00:16:13.987 --> 00:16:16.865
Hey, Romeo.
If you like her, go in that group.

00:16:17.027 --> 00:16:20.702
No. That's okay.
I've only got to kill one more Orc.

00:16:20.867 --> 00:16:24.462
Right. Kill your Orc, you dork.

00:16:24.627 --> 00:16:27.539
Dad, I want to be
in the group with Max.

00:16:27.707 --> 00:16:30.585
I'm older than these babies.
I should be in that group.

00:16:30.747 --> 00:16:33.181
I didn't sign up to be with no skirts.

00:16:33.347 --> 00:16:34.575
They got cooties.

00:16:34.747 --> 00:16:36.226
There's no such thing as cooties.

00:16:36.387 --> 00:16:39.220
It's simply a term used to express
age-appropriate discomfort...

00:16:39.387 --> 00:16:41.184
...of those not of our gender.

00:16:52.067 --> 00:16:53.261
Stop arguing.

00:16:57.987 --> 00:17:00.182
You wanted to accommodate children
of all ages.

00:17:00.347 --> 00:17:02.258
Well, at this point,
we can't be too picky.

00:17:08.507 --> 00:17:12.182
Look, here we have grass.
Some grass and a big rock.

00:17:12.347 --> 00:17:13.939
How many more to go?

00:17:14.107 --> 00:17:17.463
Everybody gather round. Get in here.

00:17:17.627 --> 00:17:20.983
Can anyone tell me
what kind of tree this is?

00:17:21.907 --> 00:17:23.056
An oak?

00:17:23.227 --> 00:17:25.787
Yeah. Sure. Okay.

00:17:25.947 --> 00:17:29.144
Look over here, some berries,
maybe a strawberry thing.

00:17:29.307 --> 00:17:31.537
I wouldn't eat them, though.
Watch out.

00:17:31.707 --> 00:17:35.700
Poison ivy. Keep moving, slowly,
behind the bush.

00:17:35.867 --> 00:17:37.937
Come on, slowly. Don't touch it.

00:17:38.107 --> 00:17:40.667
Careful, careful. Okay.

00:17:41.627 --> 00:17:44.505
That would be a leaf.

00:17:45.627 --> 00:17:47.538
Ready. Aim.

00:17:47.707 --> 00:17:49.902
Wait. There's a bunny.

00:17:50.067 --> 00:17:52.023
We can't shoot with a bunny
in the field.

00:17:52.187 --> 00:17:54.257
He's way off to the side.
You'll never hit it.

00:17:54.427 --> 00:17:56.987
Yes, we can. That's good eating.

00:17:57.147 --> 00:17:58.375
No, it's not.

00:17:59.867 --> 00:18:03.177
Wait. All right, kids, hang on.
Back up.

00:18:05.147 --> 00:18:07.058
So the rebel Borg rogue vessel...

00:18:07.227 --> 00:18:09.616
...circles around Barkon IV...

00:18:09.787 --> 00:18:12.460
...loops over the Enterprise
and doubles back...

00:18:12.627 --> 00:18:14.458
...through the space nebula.

00:18:20.627 --> 00:18:23.061
We passed this tree twice already.

00:18:23.227 --> 00:18:27.106
Because it's a very important tree
and I wanted to emphasise it.

00:18:27.267 --> 00:18:28.666
We're not lost.

00:18:28.827 --> 00:18:33.025
- Alligator.
- Calm down. Stop. Calm down.

00:18:33.187 --> 00:18:35.860
Stop.

00:18:36.027 --> 00:18:38.780
We don't have alligators
on the nature hike.

00:18:38.947 --> 00:18:40.539
It's not that good a camp.

00:18:41.067 --> 00:18:44.218
See, kids?
Everything's gonna be just fine.

00:18:44.387 --> 00:18:45.422
Air varmint.

00:18:56.187 --> 00:18:58.860
I appreciate that you kids
are such quick learners...

00:18:59.027 --> 00:19:03.100
...but these knots are not supposed
to be used for evil.

00:19:03.267 --> 00:19:07.306
See? Just a big, dumb empty log.

00:19:08.867 --> 00:19:11.540
Bees. Scatter.

00:19:24.787 --> 00:19:26.743
Now put two thumbs up.

00:19:26.907 --> 00:19:29.341
You guys, two, three,
or four of you are out...

00:19:29.507 --> 00:19:31.543
...because I didn't say, "Simon says. "

00:19:31.707 --> 00:19:33.459
All right, Simon Says.

00:19:33.907 --> 00:19:36.819
Ben. Hey, Ben.

00:19:38.107 --> 00:19:40.701
Simon says, "Wave at Daddy. "

00:19:43.107 --> 00:19:45.905
Good concentration, son.
You know, because I'm not Simon.

00:19:46.907 --> 00:19:48.818
Good job, Dale.

00:19:57.427 --> 00:20:00.783
Oh, no, so many are out right now,
I can't even count how many.

00:20:05.667 --> 00:20:08.500
- Can I help you?
- Felix.

00:20:09.667 --> 00:20:13.455
Simon Says. A classic.

00:20:15.987 --> 00:20:17.466
I was showing the kids here...

00:20:17.627 --> 00:20:19.299
...where the go-cart track will be...

00:20:19.467 --> 00:20:22.459
...once you and your team of idiots
run your camp into the ground.

00:20:23.547 --> 00:20:25.822
First of all, it's not for sale.

00:20:25.987 --> 00:20:28.660
Yeah, well, from what I heard,
that may not be up to you.

00:20:29.347 --> 00:20:32.020
Yeah, a little something
called foreclosure.

00:20:32.187 --> 00:20:34.223
Axe coming down.

00:20:35.267 --> 00:20:37.303
See all those kids
running around down there?

00:20:38.387 --> 00:20:40.218
Does that look like
a business in trouble?

00:20:40.387 --> 00:20:42.378
It's only day one, buddy boy.

00:20:42.547 --> 00:20:46.426
Once all those kids see how much fun
we're having at Camp Canola...

00:20:46.587 --> 00:20:49.499
...they'll be jumping ship
like harbour rats.

00:20:54.267 --> 00:20:55.746
And to make matters worse...

00:20:55.907 --> 00:20:59.900
...you will never be able
to beat the Chief in the Olympiad.

00:21:00.067 --> 00:21:02.217
That's him. He's the Chief.

00:21:02.387 --> 00:21:04.218
And you poop in your shorts.

00:21:04.387 --> 00:21:06.776
Nice son you got there, Lance.

00:21:06.947 --> 00:21:09.256
He ain't my kid. I hate kids.

00:21:12.027 --> 00:21:15.497
First of all, there ain't gonna be
any Olympiad. And secondly...

00:21:15.667 --> 00:21:18.465
...I care about building these kids up,
not tearing them down...

00:21:18.627 --> 00:21:20.538
...with some futile attempt
at competition.

00:21:21.307 --> 00:21:22.740
That's pathetic.

00:21:22.907 --> 00:21:25.341
You won't last a month.

00:21:25.507 --> 00:21:29.022
Yeah. Thirty-one days. Or 30.

00:21:29.187 --> 00:21:31.576
Except for February,
which stands alone.

00:21:33.267 --> 00:21:35.223
All right, let's go.

00:21:38.267 --> 00:21:40.656
Dang, he looks familiar.

00:21:42.987 --> 00:21:45.057
All right, Camp Canola.

00:21:45.467 --> 00:21:47.025
Let's head out.

00:21:55.547 --> 00:21:57.742
Wait. Oh, good Lord.

00:21:59.867 --> 00:22:03.064
Watch and learn.

00:22:07.587 --> 00:22:10.943
- Mullet. Come on.
- Hurry up.

00:22:11.107 --> 00:22:13.575
I want candy.

00:22:36.507 --> 00:22:40.341
Dale, make sure
you count them twice.

00:22:40.507 --> 00:22:43.783
Everybody on the...
Hey, no fighting.

00:22:45.107 --> 00:22:47.667
On the bus. Get on the bus.

00:22:51.107 --> 00:22:54.099
Oh, thank God.

00:22:54.267 --> 00:22:59.057
See? This is exactly
where I thought we'd come out.

00:22:59.387 --> 00:23:02.424
Get down to the bus.
It'll be leaving any second.

00:23:02.587 --> 00:23:04.498
I've gotta drop the kids off
at the pool.

00:23:04.667 --> 00:23:05.656
We have a pool?

00:23:06.227 --> 00:23:07.865
No.

00:23:10.587 --> 00:23:12.862
This is the worst camp ever.

00:23:14.107 --> 00:23:16.177
Thanks for coming.

00:23:18.627 --> 00:23:20.697
No, no, Max.
All right, no, Max, Max.

00:23:21.787 --> 00:23:25.621
Okay, off the bus.
Everybody off the bus.

00:23:26.147 --> 00:23:29.662
Yes, off the bus. Okay. Okay. Relax.

00:23:31.507 --> 00:23:32.940
What's wrong with him?

00:23:33.107 --> 00:23:36.224
He was born with no sense of smell.

00:23:37.667 --> 00:23:38.861
What's his problem?

00:23:39.027 --> 00:23:41.666
- Mayhoffer's gonna blow.
- What?

00:23:56.187 --> 00:23:59.065
Phil, we got a situation here.
I need help.

00:23:59.227 --> 00:24:02.742
I need backup. I repeat, backup for...

00:24:07.907 --> 00:24:10.102
All right.

00:24:17.027 --> 00:24:20.019
Code blue. Code blue, Phil.

00:24:24.187 --> 00:24:26.542
- What else could go wrong?
- No, please...

00:24:43.387 --> 00:24:45.776
I think we're gonna need
more toilet paper.

00:24:52.827 --> 00:24:54.419
Baby...

00:24:54.587 --> 00:24:58.102
...it's just not your area of expertise.

00:24:58.267 --> 00:25:00.622
You need someone
with more outdoor experience.

00:25:00.787 --> 00:25:02.903
Someone like your father.

00:25:03.067 --> 00:25:04.216
You're gonna call Grandpa?

00:25:04.387 --> 00:25:07.584
No. Mommy's just making a joke.

00:25:07.747 --> 00:25:09.180
I don't need Buck.

00:25:09.347 --> 00:25:12.657
Kids all over town are bathing
in tomato juice, thanks to you.

00:25:12.827 --> 00:25:15.864
It was one lousy skunk
and a harmless methane explosion.

00:25:16.027 --> 00:25:17.460
Your father's a military man.

00:25:17.627 --> 00:25:20.664
You told me yourself Buck knows
everything about the outdoors.

00:25:20.827 --> 00:25:23.421
Roughing it, managing troops,
survival skills.

00:25:23.587 --> 00:25:26.784
Yeah, and he realises it
through anger, shaming, and criticism.

00:25:26.947 --> 00:25:28.824
Here, baby, sponge yourself.

00:25:28.987 --> 00:25:32.616
Look, I know that you two have had
your problems.

00:25:32.787 --> 00:25:34.106
Problems? No.

00:25:34.267 --> 00:25:37.259
Nothing I ever did was good enough,
including sports, school, work.

00:25:37.427 --> 00:25:38.906
But other than that?

00:25:39.267 --> 00:25:41.827
He could help,
and Ben would be thrilled to see him.

00:25:41.987 --> 00:25:44.217
I think it's time you give him a chance.

00:25:44.387 --> 00:25:48.175
Look, baby, this is my thing, okay?
I'll handle it.

00:25:48.347 --> 00:25:51.384
Phil and I got special
camp consultants coming tomorrow.

00:25:51.547 --> 00:25:53.663
It's a fresh start and a new day.

00:25:53.827 --> 00:25:55.419
Consultants?

00:25:55.587 --> 00:25:56.656
Yes.

00:25:56.827 --> 00:26:01.139
- It's all right here in our Idea Binders.
- That's for you.

00:26:01.307 --> 00:26:03.867
You just trust us.

00:26:04.027 --> 00:26:06.905
- Syl. Come to me.
- I'm right here.

00:26:07.067 --> 00:26:08.659
Be with me, think with me.

00:26:08.827 --> 00:26:11.102
We could have
this entire area carpeted.

00:26:11.267 --> 00:26:12.859
Shag carpet.

00:26:13.027 --> 00:26:15.063
Like a child, a universe grows.

00:26:21.147 --> 00:26:22.626
That was a waste of time.

00:26:22.787 --> 00:26:25.779
Hey, don't worry.
When those 35 kids get off that bus...

00:26:25.947 --> 00:26:28.984
...we're gonna show them adventure,
Charlie and Phil style.

00:26:40.507 --> 00:26:44.785
Okay. See, Phil, it's all we needed.
A new day, fresh start.

00:26:46.867 --> 00:26:48.539
Way to go, Dad.

00:26:48.707 --> 00:26:50.777
What?

00:26:55.227 --> 00:26:58.617
That's all we got. The other parents
are demanding a full refund.

00:26:59.987 --> 00:27:02.262
Let's go this way, guys.

00:27:09.467 --> 00:27:11.139
We only got seven kids left, Phil.

00:27:11.307 --> 00:27:13.138
There's no other way
to cover these bills.

00:27:13.307 --> 00:27:14.979
We can't afford to hire consultants...

00:27:15.147 --> 00:27:16.978
...much less make
the foreclosure payment.

00:27:17.147 --> 00:27:20.981
We can't even afford to give refunds.
That money went back into repairs.

00:27:21.147 --> 00:27:23.217
You're gonna have
to swallow your pride...

00:27:23.387 --> 00:27:25.617
...and get a man in here
to help run this camp.

00:27:30.067 --> 00:27:33.423
Historically,
the art of using troops is this:

00:27:33.587 --> 00:27:36.784
When ten to the enemy's one,
surround them with tanks.

00:27:36.947 --> 00:27:39.984
At five times the strength,
you attack with air strikes.

00:27:40.147 --> 00:27:43.662
Napoleon: All manoeuvres were
on horseback.

00:27:43.827 --> 00:27:46.864
Saladin: Camels...

00:27:48.147 --> 00:27:50.217
Colonel here.

00:27:51.187 --> 00:27:53.257
Just a sec.

00:27:53.747 --> 00:27:55.942
Civilians, you're dismissed.

00:28:03.667 --> 00:28:06.101
That's better. How can I help you?

00:28:06.267 --> 00:28:08.781
No, no. No, the time is fine.

00:28:13.907 --> 00:28:15.579
You don't say?

00:28:15.747 --> 00:28:19.103
And that's how you treat
an acute poison ivy breakout.

00:28:20.467 --> 00:28:23.265
I'd like to apologise to you guys
for letting you play...

00:28:23.427 --> 00:28:25.099
...in what I thought was clover.

00:28:25.267 --> 00:28:28.816
Jack, I wouldn't go number two
for a few weeks if I were you.

00:28:28.987 --> 00:28:31.421
I think you used that "clover"
for toilet paper.

00:28:33.027 --> 00:28:34.938
If you'd all sign these waivers...

00:28:35.107 --> 00:28:37.337
...acknowledging you've been briefed
on safety...

00:28:37.507 --> 00:28:40.146
- Here you go. Okay.
- Excuse me.

00:28:40.307 --> 00:28:42.218
With the exception
of emancipated minors...

00:28:42.387 --> 00:28:44.617
...I don't believe
that a personal injury waiver...

00:28:44.787 --> 00:28:47.984
...with confidentiality clause,
executed by a child...

00:28:48.147 --> 00:28:50.456
...is a legally binding document,
Uncle Phil.

00:28:51.587 --> 00:28:53.737
It's a raid.

00:28:56.027 --> 00:28:57.904
Camp Canola!

00:29:15.347 --> 00:29:17.463
Get the flag.

00:29:39.707 --> 00:29:41.663
I can use the second mortgage
on the house...

00:29:41.827 --> 00:29:44.182
...to pay off the bills for the camp?

00:29:44.347 --> 00:29:47.703
Great. No, Mr. Thumson,
I don't need you to come out here.

00:29:47.867 --> 00:29:50.427
No, business is fine. It's just...

00:29:50.587 --> 00:29:52.657
You know,
we have such a full house.

00:29:58.587 --> 00:30:00.498
Can I call you back?

00:30:07.547 --> 00:30:09.344
What the heck is going on here?

00:30:28.627 --> 00:30:30.902
Open your ear-holes, dweebers.

00:30:31.067 --> 00:30:35.379
"We, the mighty troops of Fort Canola,
have braved hill and dale...

00:30:35.547 --> 00:30:37.458
...so that we may find...

00:30:37.627 --> 00:30:41.176
...who are the greatest warriors
in the land. "

00:30:43.387 --> 00:30:46.379
No. No. No way.

00:30:46.547 --> 00:30:48.219
You are way out of line, Lance.

00:30:48.387 --> 00:30:49.945
Behold!

00:30:52.667 --> 00:30:54.737
This spear of honour...

00:30:54.907 --> 00:30:59.059
...garnished with the flame of truth.

00:31:00.587 --> 00:31:02.657
Now, I challenge ye...

00:31:02.827 --> 00:31:07.582
...to the XLV Annual
Intercamp Olympiad.

00:31:09.507 --> 00:31:12.544
That's the 37th Olympiad to you,
pea brain.

00:31:12.707 --> 00:31:13.935
Forty-fifth.

00:31:14.107 --> 00:31:17.338
I told you before, there isn't going
to be any competition.

00:31:18.907 --> 00:31:22.456
Well, then let the onslaught continue.

00:31:46.627 --> 00:31:50.779
Now's your chance.
Go say something.

00:31:54.627 --> 00:31:56.857
Do you like World of Warcraft?

00:31:57.027 --> 00:31:58.142
World of what?

00:31:59.587 --> 00:32:02.306
I'm a Level 40 Blood Elf Druid.

00:32:02.467 --> 00:32:05.345
I have absolutely no idea
what you're talking about.

00:32:07.747 --> 00:32:09.021
Goodbye.

00:32:09.187 --> 00:32:12.543
I like causing destruction,
not cleaning up after it.

00:32:12.707 --> 00:32:16.222
Is that why you threw a paint grenade
at your own campmate during a raid?

00:32:16.387 --> 00:32:20.221
What can I say?
War is hell, skunk-boy.

00:32:21.307 --> 00:32:25.095
Fight. Fight. Fight.

00:32:25.267 --> 00:32:27.542
Fight. Fight. Fight.

00:32:27.707 --> 00:32:30.858
Cut it out. Stop it. Stop fighting.

00:32:32.147 --> 00:32:34.138
A ten-hut.

00:32:37.667 --> 00:32:40.465
I see this unit's morale is flagging.

00:32:40.627 --> 00:32:43.187
There is only one solution for that.

00:32:43.347 --> 00:32:46.305
All of those who are my grandson,
front and centre.

00:32:46.467 --> 00:32:49.027
- Come here, you little peanut.
- Grandpa Buck.

00:32:51.187 --> 00:32:52.540
Do you remember this manoeuvre?

00:32:52.707 --> 00:32:54.299
Sneak attack at tickle point.

00:32:59.547 --> 00:33:03.062
Everyone, this is my father,
Colonel Buck Hinton.

00:33:03.227 --> 00:33:06.299
- Reporting for duty, corporal.
- Please don't call me that.

00:33:08.027 --> 00:33:10.461
All right, then, private.

00:33:12.187 --> 00:33:16.021
Gentlemen. Ladies.
What I just witnessed was a mutiny.

00:33:16.187 --> 00:33:18.303
Among campers,
that is unacceptable...

00:33:18.467 --> 00:33:20.981
...from this point forward.

00:33:21.667 --> 00:33:22.656
Now...

00:33:22.827 --> 00:33:24.818
...front and centre. Double time.

00:33:24.987 --> 00:33:28.024
I'll make you soldiers
if it's the last thing I do.

00:33:28.187 --> 00:33:31.862
No, wait a minute. There is no mutiny.
Everything is under control.

00:33:32.027 --> 00:33:33.301
This is not why I called you.

00:33:34.427 --> 00:33:38.579
- Why the misconduct, soldier?
- We got raided by Camp Canola.

00:33:38.747 --> 00:33:41.784
- Yeah.
- Sneak attack, huh?

00:33:41.947 --> 00:33:43.300
Well, I'm sorry, private.

00:33:43.467 --> 00:33:45.139
We should be planning
a counterattack.

00:33:45.307 --> 00:33:48.504
Meet force with force.
I say we hit them at nightfall.

00:33:48.667 --> 00:33:51.420
- Yeah.
- No. No.

00:33:51.587 --> 00:33:54.101
Driftwood Day Camp.

00:33:54.267 --> 00:33:56.497
Hit them at 5,
when the sun's in their eyes.

00:33:56.667 --> 00:33:58.100
Yeah.

00:33:58.267 --> 00:33:59.985
Okay, guys.

00:34:00.147 --> 00:34:02.900
Guys, can you excuse us
for a minute?

00:34:06.107 --> 00:34:08.143
This is not a boot camp. All right?

00:34:08.307 --> 00:34:10.901
We're not looking for Colonel Hinton,
war games consultant.

00:34:11.067 --> 00:34:13.786
We're looking for Colonel Hinton,
experienced team builder...

00:34:13.947 --> 00:34:16.336
...slash King of the Outdoors.

00:34:16.507 --> 00:34:18.941
We're not trying to turn these kids
into Marines.

00:34:21.507 --> 00:34:23.099
What's wrong with being a Marine?

00:34:24.627 --> 00:34:26.583
Maybe if you had enlisted...

00:34:26.747 --> 00:34:30.786
...you could work yourself out of a jam
instead of calling in reinforcements.

00:34:30.947 --> 00:34:33.336
Listen. Yes, I do appreciate
your coming.

00:34:33.507 --> 00:34:34.906
Yes, we do need your help.

00:34:35.067 --> 00:34:38.537
But we don't want to get into this thing
with Camp Canola.

00:34:39.547 --> 00:34:41.663
- No war games?
- No.

00:34:41.827 --> 00:34:43.101
Hand-to-hand combat?

00:34:45.947 --> 00:34:48.063
- Guerrilla warfare?
- No war.

00:34:48.227 --> 00:34:49.296
No war.

00:34:49.467 --> 00:34:52.027
Just help us run Driftwood,
all right?

00:34:52.187 --> 00:34:53.779
Can you follow those orders, Dad?

00:34:55.387 --> 00:34:57.981
That's colonel to you, private.

00:35:00.347 --> 00:35:01.666
Line up.

00:35:28.667 --> 00:35:31.386
In through the nose.

00:35:31.547 --> 00:35:34.425
Out through the mouth.

00:35:35.267 --> 00:35:38.577
In through the nose.

00:35:40.707 --> 00:35:43.904
Out through the mouth.

00:35:44.667 --> 00:35:46.862
The samurai warrior meditates...

00:35:47.027 --> 00:35:52.181
...to blend mind
and body into harmony.

00:35:59.707 --> 00:36:01.584
Come here. Come to me.

00:36:01.747 --> 00:36:04.739
Hey! Hey!

00:36:05.467 --> 00:36:09.176
Hey, old man, what's with the séance
in the middle of our off-road track?

00:36:09.347 --> 00:36:12.180
What? Get them out of here!

00:36:12.347 --> 00:36:15.066
Get your kids out of here!
Get them out of here!

00:36:15.227 --> 00:36:17.457
Somebody's gonna get hurt!

00:36:20.507 --> 00:36:22.941
Relax, General Depends.

00:36:24.147 --> 00:36:26.297
Shouldn't you be
in some bingo game or something?

00:36:26.467 --> 00:36:29.823
L-27. G-13.

00:36:29.987 --> 00:36:32.501
All right, boys. Let's move them out.

00:36:32.667 --> 00:36:37.024
- B-7.
- G-40.

00:36:37.187 --> 00:36:39.098
That tears it.

00:36:39.867 --> 00:36:42.427
Rules of engagement...

00:36:43.387 --> 00:36:45.821
...been overruled.

00:36:54.427 --> 00:36:58.579
There's the objective.
Anyone unclear on their role?

00:36:58.747 --> 00:37:00.021
No, sir.

00:37:00.187 --> 00:37:03.224
- Anyone wanna go home?
- No, sir.

00:37:03.387 --> 00:37:07.539
Operation MoonPie is a go.

00:37:13.987 --> 00:37:15.943
It's right up here.

00:37:16.987 --> 00:37:19.296
You know, I've never been up here.

00:37:35.067 --> 00:37:38.855
Help. Help. Come on, y'all.
Give me a lift. Come on, please.

00:37:41.787 --> 00:37:43.698
Go, go.

00:37:54.267 --> 00:37:58.146
Where is it? Where is it?
I know that loser from somewhere.

00:37:59.387 --> 00:38:01.617
Where is it?

00:38:05.947 --> 00:38:07.858
Jackpot.

00:38:10.907 --> 00:38:13.467
Charlie Hinton.

00:38:18.627 --> 00:38:19.980
Can I help you?

00:38:20.147 --> 00:38:22.422
- Hi, my name's Becca.
- I'm Juliette.

00:38:22.587 --> 00:38:24.066
And we've come to offer you...

00:38:24.227 --> 00:38:26.138
...the Driftwood
Olive Branch of Peace.

00:38:26.307 --> 00:38:27.899
In exchange for our friendship...

00:38:28.067 --> 00:38:30.262
...all we ask is
that you return our flag.

00:38:33.307 --> 00:38:35.867
Did big bad Charlie send
his little bitty girls...

00:38:36.027 --> 00:38:38.541
...to do his bidding for him, huh?

00:38:38.707 --> 00:38:41.301
Let's put it this way:
Either you give it back...

00:38:41.467 --> 00:38:43.583
...or we take it.

00:38:43.747 --> 00:38:46.307
You and what army, Petunia?

00:38:46.907 --> 00:38:48.226
You had to ask.

00:38:52.667 --> 00:38:54.737
Ask what?

00:39:00.707 --> 00:39:02.026
What the...?

00:39:09.987 --> 00:39:10.976
Get him.

00:39:11.187 --> 00:39:13.985
You're messing with Lance Warner.

00:39:21.307 --> 00:39:23.218
Stuck.

00:39:34.467 --> 00:39:35.502
Yes.

00:39:37.347 --> 00:39:38.780
Hey, Warner.

00:39:44.707 --> 00:39:46.857
- Yes.
- That's my boy.

00:39:47.027 --> 00:39:49.336
Sound the alarm. Red alert.

00:39:49.507 --> 00:39:52.863
We're under attack.
This is not a drill, people.

00:39:53.027 --> 00:39:56.815
Everyone to your stations!
Security's been breached!

00:39:56.987 --> 00:39:59.262
The perimeter's
been compromised!

00:39:59.427 --> 00:40:01.497
Lock the gates! Call my dad!

00:40:05.787 --> 00:40:07.903
Hey, Dale, you seen Buck?

00:40:08.067 --> 00:40:10.103
Supposed to be back
with the kids an hour ago.

00:40:10.267 --> 00:40:11.700
I wouldn't sweat it.

00:40:11.867 --> 00:40:16.019
Your dad's like
the most responsible guy I ever met.

00:40:16.667 --> 00:40:19.261
Yeah, you're probably right.

00:40:22.747 --> 00:40:25.625
Get back here, you little rodents.

00:40:25.787 --> 00:40:27.015
Come on. Come on.

00:40:27.187 --> 00:40:31.738
No! No, no, no.
Give me my pants back.

00:40:31.907 --> 00:40:33.022
Here's your diaper.

00:40:34.427 --> 00:40:36.497
Clean yourself off.

00:40:38.307 --> 00:40:39.660
Move out.

00:40:42.267 --> 00:40:46.738
Let go. Get back here, you cowards.

00:40:46.907 --> 00:40:49.944
No one messes with Lance Warner,
you hear me?

00:40:50.107 --> 00:40:52.337
No one.

00:41:13.507 --> 00:41:15.338
G.I. Joe is turning red.

00:41:15.507 --> 00:41:17.338
Someone farted on his head.

00:41:17.507 --> 00:41:19.384
G.I. Joe is turning pink.

00:41:19.547 --> 00:41:21.299
Someone puked in the kitchen sink.

00:41:21.467 --> 00:41:23.185
G.I. Joe is turning white.

00:41:23.627 --> 00:41:25.458
The zippers on his pants
are really tight.

00:41:25.627 --> 00:41:27.379
G.I. Joe is turning blue.

00:41:27.547 --> 00:41:29.458
There are peanuts in his poo.

00:41:29.627 --> 00:41:31.743
Company, halt.

00:41:31.907 --> 00:41:33.181
Where have you guys been?

00:41:33.347 --> 00:41:35.781
Your nature hike was supposed
to be back an hour ago.

00:41:36.387 --> 00:41:38.139
Present colours.

00:41:44.387 --> 00:41:46.218
- You didn't?
- Yes, sir.

00:41:47.027 --> 00:41:48.665
Robert, what happened
to your head?

00:41:48.827 --> 00:41:51.341
It's just a battle wound.

00:41:52.787 --> 00:41:54.778
Dale, go get the first-aid kit.

00:41:54.947 --> 00:41:57.745
You take these kids off our premises
without permission slips...

00:41:57.907 --> 00:41:59.386
...and bring them back like this?

00:41:59.747 --> 00:42:01.021
Affirmative.

00:42:01.187 --> 00:42:03.655
See, this is exactly the thing
I was afraid of.

00:42:03.867 --> 00:42:07.098
We restored our honour, Dad.
It was just...

00:42:10.267 --> 00:42:14.738
What kind of insane militant
nut factory you running here, huh?

00:42:14.907 --> 00:42:18.616
Huh, Charlie Hinton?
Driftwood Class of '77.

00:42:18.787 --> 00:42:21.017
- That's right, I know who you are.
- Listen, Lance.

00:42:21.187 --> 00:42:22.939
I'm really sorry about this.
In fact...

00:42:23.107 --> 00:42:25.985
...my father and I were just about
to have a discussion about it.

00:42:26.147 --> 00:42:28.502
This is your father?

00:42:29.307 --> 00:42:32.265
Oh, this is classic. Oh, sure.

00:42:32.427 --> 00:42:34.463
The chicken's come home
to roost, huh?

00:42:34.627 --> 00:42:37.585
Now I know why you don't want
to compete in the Olympiad.

00:42:37.747 --> 00:42:39.897
You're afraid of getting
your butt kicked again...

00:42:40.067 --> 00:42:41.785
...in front of Lieutenant Prune Juice.

00:42:41.947 --> 00:42:43.016
Colonel.

00:42:43.187 --> 00:42:45.257
Oh, Colonel. Sorry.

00:42:45.427 --> 00:42:49.136
Look, Lance, I'm just trying to teach
these kids about sportsmanship.

00:42:49.307 --> 00:42:53.505
No, the only thing you can teach
these kids is how to lose.

00:42:54.427 --> 00:42:55.826
Or have you forgotten?

00:42:56.107 --> 00:42:59.861
"Daddy. Look at me.

00:43:08.507 --> 00:43:10.941
I'm a failure. "

00:43:15.507 --> 00:43:18.783
You know why my parents bought
Camp Canola for me?

00:43:18.947 --> 00:43:20.175
No, why?

00:43:20.347 --> 00:43:23.225
Because that summer
when I kicked your butt...

00:43:24.507 --> 00:43:26.782
...that was the best moment
of my life.

00:43:26.947 --> 00:43:30.098
And now, every day when I wake up,
I get to live that dream.

00:43:30.267 --> 00:43:32.542
And it is fantastic.

00:43:32.707 --> 00:43:34.777
Peaked when you were 11,
did you, Lance?

00:43:34.947 --> 00:43:37.142
See, I get it, Charlie.

00:43:37.307 --> 00:43:40.697
You don't want your kid
to end up a loser like you.

00:43:42.147 --> 00:43:44.217
Like father, like son.

00:43:47.987 --> 00:43:49.978
Oh, sure. No, that's cool.
You walk away.

00:43:50.147 --> 00:43:52.217
Yeah, because refusing to compete...

00:43:52.387 --> 00:43:53.945
...just proves to the community...

00:43:54.107 --> 00:43:56.063
...which camp they should send
their kids to.

00:43:56.227 --> 00:43:58.422
Mine.

00:43:58.907 --> 00:44:00.625
Adiós.

00:44:06.227 --> 00:44:08.787
What I'd really like to do
is kick your butt.

00:44:09.467 --> 00:44:12.823
Being as we're trying to set
a good example here, mister...

00:44:12.987 --> 00:44:15.103
...you got yourself an Olympiad.

00:44:15.267 --> 00:44:16.985
Yeah!

00:44:17.787 --> 00:44:20.221
Fantastic.

00:44:25.947 --> 00:44:27.346
Yeah.

00:44:28.387 --> 00:44:30.105
Good, good job.

00:44:30.267 --> 00:44:31.780
The great Julius Caesar
once said...

00:44:31.947 --> 00:44:34.939
You were way out of line
with what you did today.

00:44:35.107 --> 00:44:37.667
If we do this, we do it my way.
You got it?

00:44:39.387 --> 00:44:42.265
- Affirmative.
- Good.

00:44:42.427 --> 00:44:45.817
Now. What do you think
we should do?

00:44:48.667 --> 00:44:50.897
A sleepover?

00:44:51.067 --> 00:44:52.978
I thought the whole purpose
of day camp...

00:44:53.147 --> 00:44:55.707
...was sending the kids home
at the end of the day.

00:44:55.867 --> 00:44:58.142
It was your idea to get
my father involved.

00:44:58.307 --> 00:45:00.662
According to Buck,
the best way to build team unity...

00:45:00.827 --> 00:45:04.183
...is to put the kids in a new situation
where they have to work together...

00:45:04.347 --> 00:45:05.496
...to overcome stuff.

00:45:05.667 --> 00:45:09.785
Well, I think someone wants
to impress his own father.

00:45:10.427 --> 00:45:13.817
Listen, this Olympiad is gonna
be good for business.

00:45:13.987 --> 00:45:16.820
Once those Canola parents see
how well our kids work together...

00:45:16.987 --> 00:45:18.625
...we might drum up new customers.

00:45:18.787 --> 00:45:21.142
If you think parents
are gonna switch camps...

00:45:21.307 --> 00:45:24.344
...based off of wins
some silly events...

00:45:24.987 --> 00:45:29.299
Mrs. Hinton?
I'm Edward Thumson from the bank.

00:45:31.387 --> 00:45:36.063
Yes, I'm aware of who you are,
but what are you doing in my house?

00:45:36.227 --> 00:45:38.582
Is that real Tiffany crystal?

00:45:39.547 --> 00:45:41.026
It is standard procedure to do...

00:45:41.187 --> 00:45:43.257
...a pre-inventory
prior to the foreclosure.

00:45:43.427 --> 00:45:46.146
But the first instalment is not due
until next week.

00:45:46.307 --> 00:45:48.184
True. But with only six campers...

00:45:48.387 --> 00:45:54.098
...it is mathematically impossible for...
- Actually, there's seven campers.

00:45:54.267 --> 00:45:58.101
- What's going on?
- Oh, I'll tell you what's going on.

00:45:58.267 --> 00:46:00.178
We overextended ourselves
with the camp.

00:46:00.347 --> 00:46:02.303
Now strange men are touching
the furniture...

00:46:02.467 --> 00:46:03.946
...messing with my mama's vase...

00:46:04.107 --> 00:46:06.462
...Mr. Thumson's threatening
to take my house away.

00:46:06.627 --> 00:46:08.777
Okay, okay.

00:46:08.947 --> 00:46:10.903
- I know what I gotta do.
- What?

00:46:11.067 --> 00:46:13.137
- I'll sell the camp.
- Listen to me.

00:46:13.307 --> 00:46:15.104
If you believe by winning
this Olympiad...

00:46:15.267 --> 00:46:16.985
...more kids will come to the camp...

00:46:17.147 --> 00:46:19.661
...then you go kick
some Lance Warner butt.

00:47:25.427 --> 00:47:28.339
Come on. Come on, soldier.

00:47:36.027 --> 00:47:37.301
Yes.

00:47:38.707 --> 00:47:40.186
Ben! Hey!

00:48:18.587 --> 00:48:21.465
Come on, son.

00:48:21.627 --> 00:48:23.538
- I know the song.
- Well, what?

00:48:23.707 --> 00:48:26.096
You don't like being
in the support vehicle with me...

00:48:26.267 --> 00:48:29.418
...instead of out there with poison ivy,
rocks and whatnot? Bugs.

00:48:29.587 --> 00:48:34.422
It's supposed to be a hike.
I look like a goober.

00:48:34.587 --> 00:48:38.262
Okay. You're right.

00:48:41.467 --> 00:48:42.695
Oh, look at her.

00:48:43.867 --> 00:48:47.098
She even puts on bug spray
like an angel.

00:48:47.267 --> 00:48:50.577
You're pathetic. Go walk with her.
Get your groove on, dude.

00:48:50.747 --> 00:48:52.977
What makes you such an expert?
You're only 6.

00:48:53.147 --> 00:48:56.822
I know I won't spend
my best years buried in video games.

00:48:56.987 --> 00:48:59.262
Shut up. Don't make...

00:49:03.587 --> 00:49:05.100
Here, buddy.

00:49:06.307 --> 00:49:09.344
Stop it. Stop it.

00:49:10.507 --> 00:49:14.341
Hey, Billy? What's going on?

00:49:14.507 --> 00:49:15.940
Nothing.

00:49:16.107 --> 00:49:18.496
No wet willies to dish out?

00:49:18.667 --> 00:49:20.976
Maybe you could switch over
to the purple nurple.

00:49:21.147 --> 00:49:23.820
No, I already gave one to Mayhoffer.

00:49:23.987 --> 00:49:28.139
It's just... I don't like sleepovers.
That's all.

00:49:28.307 --> 00:49:29.899
And why is that?

00:49:31.707 --> 00:49:35.746
Come on, Billy, you can always trust
a fat guy. I won't tell anybody.

00:49:35.907 --> 00:49:38.740
Cross my heart, hope to diet.

00:49:39.747 --> 00:49:42.784
- I sometimes wet the bed.
- What?

00:49:43.747 --> 00:49:45.578
I sometimes wet the bed.

00:49:48.267 --> 00:49:50.462
You know what?

00:49:50.627 --> 00:49:52.902
I had the same problem
till I was darn near 10.

00:49:53.067 --> 00:49:56.059
Really? What did you do
at sleepovers?

00:49:56.227 --> 00:49:58.502
An excellent question,
my young friend.

00:49:58.667 --> 00:50:00.578
I think you'll be intrigued
by the answer.

00:50:07.147 --> 00:50:09.058
Get that equipment up, Brown.

00:50:09.227 --> 00:50:11.104
This is dumb.
Why we gotta walk so far?

00:50:11.267 --> 00:50:13.417
Far? Halt.

00:50:13.587 --> 00:50:15.703
Now you listen up, hippie-hair.

00:50:15.867 --> 00:50:17.983
How are you gonna compete
against Camp Canola...

00:50:18.147 --> 00:50:20.217
...tomorrow morning
with that kind of attitude?

00:50:21.347 --> 00:50:24.783
We have 12 events staring at us
dead in the eye.

00:50:24.947 --> 00:50:26.938
We have got to toughen up.

00:50:27.107 --> 00:50:30.782
When I was your age, I used to march
six miles into the woods...

00:50:30.947 --> 00:50:34.701
...just to spend the night alone
in a tree. Focus on a goal.

00:50:37.187 --> 00:50:39.417
I used to put rocks in my backpack...

00:50:39.587 --> 00:50:41.657
...just to get stronger.

00:50:41.827 --> 00:50:45.342
That's how you grow up to be a man.
Ain't that right, Ben?

00:50:45.507 --> 00:50:47.737
All right. Let's head out.

00:50:47.907 --> 00:50:50.137
Forward, march.

00:50:57.667 --> 00:50:59.578
Hey, Ben.
What are you doing there, son?

00:50:59.747 --> 00:51:01.339
Nothing.

00:51:11.107 --> 00:51:15.419
I'm so full.

00:51:17.347 --> 00:51:19.577
I'm fuller than you.

00:51:21.507 --> 00:51:23.896
No one's as full as me.

00:51:26.307 --> 00:51:29.822
But now I've got room for dessert.
Who wants S'mores?

00:51:33.347 --> 00:51:34.905
Anything I can help you with?

00:51:35.907 --> 00:51:38.137
Can't find the chocolate
or the marshmallows.

00:51:38.307 --> 00:51:41.026
What are you talking about?
They're in my bag.

00:51:43.587 --> 00:51:45.782
Who wants chocolate?

00:51:48.067 --> 00:51:50.297
What are we gonna roast?

00:52:05.747 --> 00:52:09.103
Nice job, Hinton.
Your dad is such a schwing.

00:52:09.267 --> 00:52:11.417
I gotta roast something
with a pit in it.

00:52:11.587 --> 00:52:14.465
Shut up. I don't like it
any more than you do.

00:52:14.627 --> 00:52:15.855
It's not my fault.

00:52:19.147 --> 00:52:20.865
Dude, trust me.

00:52:21.027 --> 00:52:25.020
A star-filled sky,
the warm glow of a fire...

00:52:25.187 --> 00:52:28.065
She'll be like Silly Putty
in your hands.

00:52:28.227 --> 00:52:30.946
What makes you such an expert?

00:52:31.107 --> 00:52:33.826
Look, you know how grownups
are always saying...

00:52:33.987 --> 00:52:36.057
...they wish they knew then
what they know now?

00:52:36.227 --> 00:52:39.344
- Yeah.
- Well, I know.

00:52:39.507 --> 00:52:42.783
How are we ever gonna beat Canola
with runts like you on our team?

00:52:42.947 --> 00:52:48.146
Yeah. What you gonna do, tiny?
Bang your pan until they surrender?

00:52:53.987 --> 00:52:56.785
I think I burned my banana.

00:53:03.587 --> 00:53:05.498
- Hello.
- Hey.

00:53:06.467 --> 00:53:08.617
How are you doing
this fine evening?

00:53:08.787 --> 00:53:12.143
Pretty good. Never roasted
a pear before, but it smells good.

00:53:12.307 --> 00:53:16.220
Yes, smells are good,
and you, too, smell, Juliette.

00:53:16.387 --> 00:53:18.696
I mean, things smell...

00:53:18.867 --> 00:53:21.825
I mean, good, you smell.

00:53:21.987 --> 00:53:25.457
Sorry, it must have been
from the hike, because...

00:53:25.627 --> 00:53:27.583
No, no, I mean...

00:53:29.507 --> 00:53:30.576
It's a nice night.

00:53:30.747 --> 00:53:34.456
Starry skies, a warm fire.

00:53:34.627 --> 00:53:36.538
Good food.

00:53:44.227 --> 00:53:45.546
Idiot.

00:53:51.067 --> 00:53:53.422
Great place you got there.
What's the mortgage like?

00:53:53.587 --> 00:53:54.576
What are you doing?

00:53:54.747 --> 00:53:56.658
Sleeping in a hollowed-out log
or something?

00:53:56.827 --> 00:53:59.102
It's called camping, private.
You should try it.

00:53:59.267 --> 00:54:01.064
Yes, right.

00:54:02.107 --> 00:54:06.737
Jack, I think that banana is about
as cooked as it's gonna get there.

00:54:06.907 --> 00:54:09.341
It's so slimy.

00:54:09.507 --> 00:54:12.021
No, it's roasting.
It's supposed to bring out the flavour.

00:54:12.867 --> 00:54:15.256
Try it. You'll like it, I promise.

00:54:18.787 --> 00:54:21.017
Good, right?

00:54:28.427 --> 00:54:29.826
No!

00:54:33.587 --> 00:54:34.986
I'm done with that.

00:54:35.587 --> 00:54:37.418
That's nasty.

00:54:38.227 --> 00:54:40.138
You feel better?

00:55:09.587 --> 00:55:12.147
Sure you're gonna need that, son?

00:55:15.507 --> 00:55:18.704
Good Lord's filling the sky
with a million nightlights.

00:55:19.427 --> 00:55:20.496
Just for you.

00:55:26.507 --> 00:55:29.624
Don't know why you got your panties
in a wad tonight, Mayhoffer.

00:55:29.787 --> 00:55:32.665
We're all getting butt spackled
tomorrow anyways.

00:55:32.827 --> 00:55:34.306
What are you talking about?

00:55:34.467 --> 00:55:37.664
You don't seriously think we can beat
those rich Canola kids?

00:55:37.827 --> 00:55:39.499
Yeah, they're gonna cream us.

00:55:39.667 --> 00:55:41.976
Cream? Cream is for coffee.

00:55:43.547 --> 00:55:45.663
Okay. Listen up, troops.

00:55:47.387 --> 00:55:50.618
It's come to my attention some of you
don't believe we can win tomorrow.

00:55:51.587 --> 00:55:52.815
Okay.

00:55:52.987 --> 00:55:57.026
Maybe they have fancy equipment.
Gold-plated toilet paper.

00:55:57.187 --> 00:55:59.542
But we got something
those snotty-nosed...

00:55:59.707 --> 00:56:01.663
...silver-spoon brats will never have.

00:56:01.827 --> 00:56:04.944
- Do you want to know what that is?
- Lice?

00:56:05.107 --> 00:56:07.416
Driftwood spirit.

00:56:07.587 --> 00:56:09.305
I didn't think you guys had it...

00:56:09.467 --> 00:56:11.822
...but the way you pulled yourselves
together today...

00:56:11.987 --> 00:56:14.581
...made me prouder
than any platoon I've ever led.

00:56:16.387 --> 00:56:18.776
- We couldn't have done it without you.
- Nonsense.

00:56:18.947 --> 00:56:21.620
You couldn't have done it
without this.

00:56:21.787 --> 00:56:25.336
Because it's Driftwood Camp spirit
that links us all together...

00:56:25.507 --> 00:56:27.338
...and makes it all possible.

00:56:28.067 --> 00:56:31.582
You're not just a bunch of kids
that came together in camp.

00:56:31.747 --> 00:56:34.580
You're a team. Team.

00:56:34.747 --> 00:56:36.942
- Team.
- Team.

00:56:37.107 --> 00:56:38.301
- Team.
- Team.

00:56:38.467 --> 00:56:41.186
Team, team, team!

00:56:41.347 --> 00:56:42.575
And listen, team.

00:56:42.747 --> 00:56:46.296
Tomorrow, you're gonna take
those lobster-eating...

00:56:46.467 --> 00:56:47.502
Yeah!

00:56:47.667 --> 00:56:49.976
...those Humvee-driving...
- Yeah!

00:56:50.147 --> 00:56:53.025
...Canola cretins and you're gonna
throw them in the dumper.

00:56:53.187 --> 00:56:55.621
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

00:56:56.067 --> 00:56:58.706
Yeah!

00:56:58.907 --> 00:57:02.297
You don't think you're setting them up
for a pretty big letdown?

00:57:03.067 --> 00:57:05.501
Well, in order to win the battle...

00:57:05.667 --> 00:57:09.023
...one must first believe
in the success of the mission.

00:57:09.187 --> 00:57:12.224
It's been a long time
since you've been in battle.

00:57:13.187 --> 00:57:15.496
A minor technicality.

00:57:15.667 --> 00:57:18.465
Hey, have you guys seen Ben?
I can't find him.

00:57:20.067 --> 00:57:22.297
- Ben?
- Ben?

00:57:22.467 --> 00:57:23.900
- Ben!
- Ben?

00:57:25.987 --> 00:57:27.864
- Ben!
- Are you in there?

00:57:37.667 --> 00:57:40.056
- Ben.
- Come out.

00:57:43.267 --> 00:57:45.337
Guys, I found him.

00:57:45.507 --> 00:57:46.781
Ben.

00:57:46.947 --> 00:57:50.940
Ben, get down from there.
What are you doing?

00:57:51.107 --> 00:57:55.225
Get down. Where you been, man?
We been looking all over for you.

00:57:55.387 --> 00:57:58.777
Listen, don't ever scare me
like that again, you hear me?

00:57:58.947 --> 00:58:03.099
I'm okay. I just wanted to be
like Grandpa, that's all.

00:58:03.267 --> 00:58:06.464
So you wandered off by yourself?
You know how dangerous that is?

00:58:06.627 --> 00:58:09.187
Grandpa said
it's what made him tough...

00:58:09.347 --> 00:58:11.907
...so I thought it'd do
the same for me.

00:58:12.067 --> 00:58:13.659
What?

00:58:16.027 --> 00:58:18.461
All right, guys, listen up.
Listen to me.

00:58:18.627 --> 00:58:21.141
Let me tell you something
about being tough, okay?

00:58:21.307 --> 00:58:23.423
Being tough doesn't necessarily
make you a hero.

00:58:23.587 --> 00:58:28.058
Sometimes tough people grow up
to be arrogant, selfish and stubborn.

00:58:28.227 --> 00:58:30.297
You guys just need to be yourselves.

00:58:30.467 --> 00:58:32.219
And know that
by being yourselves...

00:58:32.387 --> 00:58:34.298
...you're gonna be winners,
no matter what.

00:58:34.467 --> 00:58:36.458
Even if we choke like you?

00:58:36.627 --> 00:58:39.539
Especially if you choke like me.

00:58:39.707 --> 00:58:40.696
Listen.

00:58:40.867 --> 00:58:44.223
I want you guys to grow up
to be kind and caring...

00:58:44.387 --> 00:58:46.776
...and accepting of people.

00:58:46.947 --> 00:58:49.620
Even if they make mistakes.

00:58:49.787 --> 00:58:53.826
So, Ben,
don't try to be so tough, okay?

00:58:53.987 --> 00:58:57.184
Just try to be your best.
That's all that matters.

00:58:57.347 --> 00:58:58.462
- Okay.
- Okay?

00:58:58.627 --> 00:58:59.821
Okay.

00:59:01.667 --> 00:59:04.306
Okay, my little Olympians,
time to rest up for the big day.

00:59:04.467 --> 00:59:06.901
- Oh, come on.
- Come on.

00:59:10.147 --> 00:59:12.058
Calling Buck, man,
what was I thinking?

00:59:12.227 --> 00:59:14.138
It's the only way he knows, Charlie.

00:59:14.307 --> 00:59:17.185
If that means him jeopardising
any more kids, he can keep it.

00:59:17.347 --> 00:59:20.862
I don't want Ben to grow up
to be anything like my father.

00:59:22.147 --> 00:59:24.377
Let's go.

00:59:52.707 --> 00:59:54.140
Shoot.

01:00:05.347 --> 01:00:08.384
What the heck is...? Oh, you nasty...

01:00:11.027 --> 01:00:13.177
This is a mistake.

01:00:40.227 --> 01:00:42.138
Wait for me.

01:00:49.027 --> 01:00:52.861
Yes. It worked. I'm dry.

01:00:53.027 --> 01:00:54.938
See? Told you, Billy.

01:00:55.107 --> 01:00:57.496
You always fool
the bed-wetting goblins...

01:00:57.667 --> 01:00:59.578
...if you sleep in your day clothes.

01:00:59.747 --> 01:01:01.658
Go play with the kids.

01:01:19.427 --> 01:01:24.217
Oh, my neck. I'm so cold.

01:01:24.387 --> 01:01:26.537
Feel like a human pincushion.

01:01:26.707 --> 01:01:30.461
- Relax, Charlie. Look around.
- Oh, thank you.

01:01:33.347 --> 01:01:35.577
Would you look at that?

01:01:35.747 --> 01:01:37.817
They're running around,
having a good time.

01:01:37.987 --> 01:01:41.821
Oh, Buck's gonna go on and on
about how he was right...

01:01:41.987 --> 01:01:44.706
...and I'm way too overprotective.

01:01:44.867 --> 01:01:47.427
Buck's not gonna go on and on
about anything.

01:01:47.587 --> 01:01:49.976
I haven't seen him all morning.

01:02:04.227 --> 01:02:07.264
Sign up for camp, please?
Driftwood?

01:02:07.427 --> 01:02:09.987
Hey, do you wanna sign up...? No?

01:02:10.667 --> 01:02:13.420
Well, as you can tell, we've obviously
destroyed their camp...

01:02:13.587 --> 01:02:14.940
...over the last couple years.

01:02:15.107 --> 01:02:18.622
I'm thinking, once we kick
Driftwood's butt one more time...

01:02:18.787 --> 01:02:20.823
...this is where
the new hardware goes.

01:02:20.987 --> 01:02:23.899
What do you say?
It's gonna be great.

01:02:24.787 --> 01:02:26.937
Hey, Chuck E. Cheese!

01:02:27.747 --> 01:02:29.339
Getting a little nervous?

01:02:30.307 --> 01:02:32.662
Let me give you the 411
on the day's events.

01:02:32.827 --> 01:02:34.101
Okay.

01:02:34.267 --> 01:02:38.146
The Olympiad starts.
Your team sucks. You lose.

01:02:38.307 --> 01:02:39.899
The end.

01:02:41.507 --> 01:02:43.657
Good luck, Lance.

01:02:45.347 --> 01:02:46.939
I don't need luck.

01:02:54.587 --> 01:02:57.181
Okay, I'll take it from here.

01:02:59.427 --> 01:03:02.100
Forfeit! I forfeit!

01:03:03.347 --> 01:03:07.101
- Have you seen Grandpa Buck?
- Col. Buck has been gone a long time.

01:03:07.267 --> 01:03:11.419
Guys, I'm sure he'll be here.
Okay, so just reach to the left.

01:03:11.707 --> 01:03:12.696
Stretch.

01:03:14.547 --> 01:03:17.505
No news yet on Buck.
Margaret's driving all over town.

01:03:17.667 --> 01:03:19.737
But I did find this in your office.

01:03:19.907 --> 01:03:22.467
"Charlie, Uncle Sam called
about another job...

01:03:22.627 --> 01:03:25.619
...which is just as well, seeing
as things aren't working out here.

01:03:25.787 --> 01:03:27.903
Your tough Colonel Buck. "

01:03:28.067 --> 01:03:30.422
- I'll keep looking.
- Okay.

01:03:30.587 --> 01:03:32.703
Is that from Grandpa?

01:03:34.147 --> 01:03:36.377
Yes. Yes, it is.

01:03:36.547 --> 01:03:39.220
He's not coming back?

01:03:39.387 --> 01:03:41.582
Well, no.

01:03:41.747 --> 01:03:44.341
He's the one that showed us
how to do everything.

01:03:44.507 --> 01:03:46.896
We're gonna get whupped.
I don't get whupped.

01:03:47.067 --> 01:03:48.386
I do the whupping.

01:03:48.547 --> 01:03:50.936
We're doomed. Doomed, I tell you.

01:03:51.107 --> 01:03:52.699
Wait, wait, wait a minute.

01:03:52.867 --> 01:03:56.223
Just because Buck got called away
to serve his country last night...

01:03:56.387 --> 01:03:59.743
...doesn't mean we take everything
he taught us and just let it go to waste.

01:04:00.867 --> 01:04:03.665
- He deserted us.
- Without so much as a "see you. "

01:04:03.827 --> 01:04:07.740
No, no, no. He didn't.
It's here in the letter, listen.

01:04:07.907 --> 01:04:10.626
"Dear Ben, Max, Juliette, Robert...

01:04:10.787 --> 01:04:14.860
...Carl, Jack, Becca, Billy,
and Mullet:

01:04:15.027 --> 01:04:17.939
Sorry to leave in the night
without even saying, 'See you'...

01:04:18.107 --> 01:04:21.338
...but it's important
that you don't panic.

01:04:21.507 --> 01:04:24.544
The 103rd Airborne is staging
manoeuvres tonight...

01:04:24.707 --> 01:04:28.985
...and let's just say they could learn
something about teamwork from you. "

01:04:29.147 --> 01:04:32.219
The 103rd was retired
after World War II.

01:04:32.387 --> 01:04:34.537
Tell you what?
They're bringing it back.

01:04:34.707 --> 01:04:37.938
- We can't do this without Buck.
- Yeah.

01:04:38.107 --> 01:04:41.019
Sure we can. You know what?
He would've wanted it that way.

01:04:41.187 --> 01:04:43.098
You know why?
Because we're a family.

01:04:43.267 --> 01:04:46.384
We'll pull each other up,
because that's what families do.

01:04:46.547 --> 01:04:49.664
If family's so important,
why'd Grandpa Buck leave?

01:04:49.827 --> 01:04:51.579
Yeah.

01:05:09.107 --> 01:05:11.905
- Going that well, huh?
- Best day of my life.

01:05:12.867 --> 01:05:15.427
Well, Ben seems upset
about Buck leaving.

01:05:16.227 --> 01:05:17.501
Yeah.

01:05:18.627 --> 01:05:22.779
You know why grandkids
and grandparents get along so well?

01:05:22.947 --> 01:05:25.256
They're united by a common enemy.

01:05:26.627 --> 01:05:28.219
Makes sense.

01:05:29.347 --> 01:05:33.659
I'm saying, if you and Buck could unite
around each other's strengths...

01:05:33.827 --> 01:05:36.182
...Ben could have
the best of both worlds.

01:05:39.267 --> 01:05:41.986
Go get them, coach. For all of us.

01:05:49.187 --> 01:05:53.021
Good news.
Found this in Buck's cabin.

01:05:56.387 --> 01:05:59.424
I'll watch after the kids.
You go make things right.

01:05:59.587 --> 01:06:01.179
Thanks.

01:06:43.427 --> 01:06:45.987
You missed your train.

01:06:46.627 --> 01:06:49.505
I missed a train.

01:06:49.987 --> 01:06:52.376
Haven't really decided
which one I'm getting on yet.

01:06:54.467 --> 01:06:56.662
I thought you had
to be back for manoeuvres.

01:06:56.867 --> 01:07:00.064
That's true, but next year.

01:07:00.547 --> 01:07:03.584
That's about as often
as they let a broke-down retiree...

01:07:03.747 --> 01:07:05.817
...come out and play
with the reservists.

01:07:08.867 --> 01:07:10.744
"Retiree. "

01:07:14.307 --> 01:07:16.696
About the only action
I get these days...

01:07:16.867 --> 01:07:19.586
...is when college students
are doing...

01:07:19.747 --> 01:07:22.056
...research papers
on military history.

01:07:26.947 --> 01:07:28.380
So...

01:07:28.547 --> 01:07:31.744
...you abandoned your post
this morning.

01:07:31.907 --> 01:07:34.626
Good soldier knows
when he's in hostile territory.

01:07:35.707 --> 01:07:38.426
You heard me last night, didn't you?

01:07:38.747 --> 01:07:42.740
I guess I've had a few things
on my mind over the last...

01:07:42.907 --> 01:07:45.102
...30 years or so.

01:07:45.947 --> 01:07:48.541
I didn't even know you felt that way.

01:07:51.867 --> 01:07:54.427
Strange, getting older.

01:07:56.347 --> 01:07:59.703
Easier remembering things
the way you wish they were.

01:08:04.347 --> 01:08:06.781
I want you to know I'm proud
of the man you've become.

01:08:09.827 --> 01:08:11.863
The way you make adjustments
in the field...

01:08:12.027 --> 01:08:15.383
...like opening a day care centre
when you lost your job.

01:08:18.747 --> 01:08:20.658
Me, I wouldn't be able to do that.

01:08:23.587 --> 01:08:26.147
I've always needed more structure.

01:08:30.427 --> 01:08:35.057
I'm far from perfect, believe me.
Far from it.

01:08:39.547 --> 01:08:43.256
I know one thing though,
those kids are gonna be crushed...

01:08:43.427 --> 01:08:47.102
...unless your leathery old butt
comes back.

01:09:02.747 --> 01:09:04.385
Do you smell gasoline?

01:09:34.587 --> 01:09:35.906
That's right.

01:09:41.907 --> 01:09:46.139
Minor setback, people.
We'll get them in the next event.

01:09:46.307 --> 01:09:49.140
Wrestling?
Have you seen Max wrestle?

01:09:49.307 --> 01:09:51.218
He's right. I suck.

01:09:51.387 --> 01:09:55.665
Yeah. And that Canola guy's
hairier than my grandmother's mole.

01:09:55.827 --> 01:09:56.816
We're stewed.

01:09:56.987 --> 01:09:59.262
Can't we just go home?
This is embarrassing.

01:09:59.427 --> 01:10:01.895
No one's going anywhere
until we win this thing.

01:10:02.067 --> 01:10:05.298
- Grandpa Buck.
- Yay.

01:10:05.467 --> 01:10:08.664
Okay. Hands in, soldiers.

01:10:12.787 --> 01:10:15.665
It's another beautiful woodchuck day.

01:10:18.267 --> 01:10:22.101
I knew you'd come back, Grandpa.
We couldn't do this without you.

01:10:22.267 --> 01:10:25.339
That's where you're wrong.
Your dad is the hero.

01:10:25.507 --> 01:10:26.496
My dad?

01:10:29.787 --> 01:10:32.779
Don't you realise he did
all this just for you?

01:10:33.787 --> 01:10:36.506
You're pretty lucky
to have Charlie Hinton...

01:10:36.667 --> 01:10:38.897
...as a father.

01:10:39.507 --> 01:10:42.579
He's a better soldier than I'll ever be.

01:10:43.227 --> 01:10:45.104
I could never run a camp
like he can...

01:10:45.267 --> 01:10:47.656
...or watch over you
and your mom like he does.

01:10:48.347 --> 01:10:51.384
He may be a little overprotective...

01:10:51.547 --> 01:10:54.619
...but it's only because he loves you
so much.

01:11:01.947 --> 01:11:05.906
- Colonel, we've got a problem.
- Yeah, dude.

01:11:06.067 --> 01:11:08.058
What's the situation on the ground,
soldiers?

01:11:08.227 --> 01:11:11.742
My calculations suggest
they've cheated in nearly every event.

01:11:13.027 --> 01:11:14.938
Cheaters, huh?

01:11:15.747 --> 01:11:16.975
Well...

01:11:17.147 --> 01:11:20.617
...the only way to beat cheaters
is by outsmarting them.

01:11:21.987 --> 01:11:23.420
I've got an idea.

01:11:23.747 --> 01:11:26.056
Okay. Okay, okay.

01:11:26.267 --> 01:11:29.339
First, we're gonna need the skunk.

01:11:29.507 --> 01:11:33.295
Here we go. Come on, good D,
thattaway.

01:11:33.467 --> 01:11:35.697
Thattaboy. There we go.

01:11:35.867 --> 01:11:38.540
Ref, come on, man. I'm growing old.

01:11:40.507 --> 01:11:41.986
Look, here he comes.

01:12:31.227 --> 01:12:33.183
Ref. Substitution.

01:14:14.387 --> 01:14:16.457
Good job, Robert. Good job.

01:14:16.627 --> 01:14:18.936
Yeah, thattaway, purple.
There we go, yeah.

01:14:27.267 --> 01:14:30.464
That's too bad, Driftwood.
That's tough luck.

01:14:30.627 --> 01:14:34.176
Good hands, though, kid.
Good hands.

01:14:36.707 --> 01:14:41.223
We've got a sharpshooter.
We gotta do something.

01:14:42.747 --> 01:14:45.307
Give me a balloon.

01:14:46.587 --> 01:14:50.262
Billy? The water pump's over there.

01:14:50.427 --> 01:14:53.783
No, I'm not filling it with water.

01:14:53.947 --> 01:14:58.896
I've been holding this in all night.

01:15:06.427 --> 01:15:09.658
You shouldn't pick on kids
smaller than you.

01:15:12.547 --> 01:15:14.902
Yeah. Good catch. Good catch.

01:15:15.067 --> 01:15:18.616
It's pee! It's pee! It's pee!

01:15:18.787 --> 01:15:22.063
It's pee! Mom, it's pee!

01:15:24.387 --> 01:15:25.502
Yes!

01:15:30.107 --> 01:15:33.622
We're the tiebreaker.
We're gonna get the tiebreaker.

01:15:36.227 --> 01:15:40.300
It's another beautiful woodchuck day.

01:15:46.427 --> 01:15:48.497
Suck it up. Let's go.

01:15:48.667 --> 01:15:51.545
Jeez, embarrassing.

01:15:56.987 --> 01:15:59.547
Okay, let's go get them.
Remember what we talked about.

01:15:59.707 --> 01:16:02.301
We need this one.
We need this one.

01:16:02.747 --> 01:16:05.022
That look familiar, Charlie?

01:16:05.187 --> 01:16:07.860
You lose this,
it's déjà vu all over again.

01:16:08.027 --> 01:16:11.417
Yeah, well, I got my best athlete here,
waiting to change history.

01:16:11.587 --> 01:16:13.259
Let's go, buddy, come on.

01:16:14.587 --> 01:16:15.736
You okay?

01:16:15.907 --> 01:16:20.025
I twisted my ankle when I fell.
I could shoot the arrow fine, but...

01:16:20.187 --> 01:16:24.226
- But can you climb?
- I don't know. I don't think so.

01:16:24.387 --> 01:16:26.264
You can forfeit, Charlie, if you like.

01:16:26.427 --> 01:16:29.578
No, no, that's okay.
Who's our best climber?

01:16:35.507 --> 01:16:39.580
- I can do it, Dad.
- All right. Come on, son.

01:16:41.467 --> 01:16:44.140
You're gonna race that kid.
That's gonna be tough, huh?

01:16:44.307 --> 01:16:46.741
- Yeah, real tough.
- Like father, like son, huh?

01:16:46.907 --> 01:16:48.545
Don't listen to him. Come on.

01:16:48.707 --> 01:16:50.743
All right. Come on, let's go.

01:16:50.907 --> 01:16:52.818
- All right.
- Go get him.

01:16:52.987 --> 01:16:55.547
Okay, Ben, listen to me.

01:16:55.707 --> 01:16:57.777
Whatever you do...

01:16:58.107 --> 01:17:01.304
...don't drop the baton, okay?

01:17:02.907 --> 01:17:04.499
Ben.

01:17:04.667 --> 01:17:07.386
Just enjoy it.

01:17:13.827 --> 01:17:15.499
Okay, here it comes.

01:17:15.707 --> 01:17:18.426
All right, focus. Here we go.

01:17:19.267 --> 01:17:20.620
Come on, Ben.

01:17:39.107 --> 01:17:40.301
Go get him.

01:17:40.827 --> 01:17:42.738
- Go Ben!
- Go Ben!

01:17:44.707 --> 01:17:47.824
- Come on. Get up there.
- Come on, Ben.

01:17:47.987 --> 01:17:51.423
- Get them little legs going.
- Come on, Ben.

01:17:51.587 --> 01:17:52.702
Go, Ben.

01:17:53.347 --> 01:17:55.383
Come on, Ben.

01:18:01.827 --> 01:18:03.818
It's okay. It's okay, son.

01:18:04.027 --> 01:18:06.905
I told you, you're a loser,
just like your old man.

01:18:07.067 --> 01:18:08.785
You're not a loser, Ben.

01:18:08.947 --> 01:18:12.622
He greased the wall. He's cheating.

01:18:13.307 --> 01:18:16.936
No, don't listen to her.
She's a compulsive liar.

01:18:17.107 --> 01:18:19.496
And she steals.

01:18:19.667 --> 01:18:23.262
- You cheated.
- You're a cheater. You're a cheater.

01:18:23.427 --> 01:18:27.215
Canola cheats. He's cheating.
He's a cheater.

01:18:27.387 --> 01:18:30.902
He's a cheater. Canola cheats.
He's a cheater!

01:18:31.067 --> 01:18:34.742
Ben, no, no. Get down from there.
That's dangerous, Ben.

01:18:34.907 --> 01:18:37.819
Ben. Please, please, Ben.
Ben, get down from there.

01:18:38.907 --> 01:18:41.296
No, no, that's dangerous.
Ben, that's dangerous.

01:18:43.227 --> 01:18:44.785
Pounce, Bobby J. Here we go.

01:18:45.267 --> 01:18:46.700
Up that wall.

01:18:49.907 --> 01:18:51.260
Bobby J, go, go, go.

01:18:51.427 --> 01:18:52.940
Go!

01:19:08.667 --> 01:19:11.420
That's my baby. That is my...
That's my baby. Yeah!

01:19:11.587 --> 01:19:15.023
Oh, whoa, hey, what...? Hey.
All right, Bobby J, come here.

01:19:15.187 --> 01:19:16.984
- Come here, buddy.
- I did it, Daddy.

01:19:17.147 --> 01:19:20.298
- I know it, buddy.
- I love you, Dad.

01:19:21.307 --> 01:19:25.346
I love you too, son.
I love you too, you crazy kid.

01:19:25.507 --> 01:19:27.065
You call that Canola?

01:19:27.227 --> 01:19:29.616
That was embarrassing.
What are you, a moron?

01:19:29.787 --> 01:19:31.664
Moron? You're the moron.

01:19:36.667 --> 01:19:38.897
Wall coming down.

01:19:43.827 --> 01:19:47.581
That's for telling everyone
you're not my dad.

01:19:47.747 --> 01:19:49.783
I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

01:19:49.947 --> 01:19:53.019
Let's go tell my mom.
She's here to pick me up.

01:19:53.187 --> 01:19:56.020
You were really great
in the Egg Relay.

01:19:59.867 --> 01:20:03.655
What'd I tell you?
Chicks love gold medallists.

01:20:03.827 --> 01:20:06.102
Teach me everything you know.

01:20:06.267 --> 01:20:09.816
Well, first you got a bird,
and then you got a bee.

01:20:13.867 --> 01:20:15.698
Why?

01:20:15.867 --> 01:20:18.062
Why?

01:20:21.667 --> 01:20:23.100
Okay.

01:20:23.267 --> 01:20:25.622
- Mr. Hinton?
- Hi.

01:20:25.787 --> 01:20:28.938
All the parents think
Camp Canola may not set...

01:20:29.107 --> 01:20:30.904
...the best example for our children.

01:20:31.067 --> 01:20:33.945
And so, if it's not
too short of notice...

01:20:34.107 --> 01:20:37.622
...we'd like our kids to come
to your camp as soon as possible.

01:20:37.787 --> 01:20:40.824
Too short notice? Don't be silly.
There's room enough for everyone.

01:20:40.987 --> 01:20:45.617
Yeah, Dale and I can sign all
you guys up. Welcome.

01:20:48.867 --> 01:20:51.779
- It was really my son who did all this.
- Colonel?

01:20:52.507 --> 01:20:54.941
Job well done.

01:20:58.267 --> 01:20:59.825
Just call me Dad.

01:21:08.827 --> 01:21:10.624
Hey, what do you say
we go get the trophy?

01:21:10.787 --> 01:21:13.665
- Yeah!
- Okay.

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