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WEBVTT - https://subtitletools.com 00:00:38.800 --> 00:00:40.086 (CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING) 00:00:40.280 --> 00:00:41.964 (GET UGLY BY JASON DERULO PLAYING) 00:00:43.080 --> 00:00:45.208 Let your hurr down 00:00:45.280 --> 00:00:46.645 We's about to get down 00:00:47.840 --> 00:00:48.841 Yeah! 00:00:48.920 --> 00:00:50.445 Oh, my, oh my, oh my God 00:00:50.960 --> 00:00:52.849 This girl straight and this girl not 00:00:53.120 --> 00:00:54.929 Tipsy off that peach Ciroc 00:00:55.040 --> 00:00:56.963 Like la la la 00:00:57.360 --> 00:00:59.442 Ching-a-lang-lang ching-a-ling-a-lang-lang 00:00:59.680 --> 00:01:01.728 Jeans so tight I could see loose change 00:01:01.800 --> 00:01:03.370 Do your thang, thang, girl Do that thang 00:01:03.440 --> 00:01:05.249 Like la la la 00:01:05.680 --> 00:01:10.208 Tell them pretty faced girls tryna brass each other 00:01:10.640 --> 00:01:14.326 And them undercover freaks who ain't nun' but trouble 00:01:14.600 --> 00:01:18.366 Baby, I'm a tell you some' only cause I love ya 00:01:18.800 --> 00:01:22.043 People all around the world sexy 00:01:22.840 --> 00:01:24.046 Get ugly 00:01:24.120 --> 00:01:25.121 (VOCALIZING) 00:01:25.200 --> 00:01:26.725 Get ugly, baby 00:01:26.800 --> 00:01:27.801 (CONTINUES VOCALIZING) 00:01:28.040 --> 00:01:29.041 Woo hoo 00:01:29.440 --> 00:01:30.441 And everybody say 00:01:30.520 --> 00:01:31.646 La la la 00:01:31.720 --> 00:01:32.721 Get ugly 00:01:32.800 --> 00:01:34.404 You're too sexy to me 00:01:35.040 --> 00:01:36.565 You're too sexy to me 00:01:37.600 --> 00:01:38.601 So sexy 00:01:39.640 --> 00:01:41.369 Damn, that's ugly 00:01:42.600 --> 00:01:44.204 (ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING) 00:01:45.600 --> 00:01:46.806 EDINA: Giles! Giles! 00:01:47.200 --> 00:01:49.089 He loves me, he loves me. 00:01:49.240 --> 00:01:50.401 Get ugly, baby 00:01:50.720 --> 00:01:52.290 Woo hoo 00:01:53.200 --> 00:01:55.328 And everybody say la la la 00:01:55.400 --> 00:01:56.481 Get ugly 00:01:57.160 --> 00:01:58.764 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 00:02:01.080 --> 00:02:02.650 PATSY: Eddy? Eddy? 00:02:03.760 --> 00:02:04.841 Eddy? 00:02:05.200 --> 00:02:06.361 Ed? 00:02:06.640 --> 00:02:09.530 Look, I'm twerkin', darling. (CHUCKLES) I'm twerkin'. 00:02:09.760 --> 00:02:10.761 No, you're not. 00:02:11.160 --> 00:02:12.446 Isn't that twerking? 00:02:12.720 --> 00:02:14.210 No, move your bum. 00:02:14.400 --> 00:02:15.811 Ooh. 00:02:17.120 --> 00:02:18.565 (RETCHES) 00:02:19.760 --> 00:02:21.171 Dysfunctional 00:02:21.240 --> 00:02:22.241 Get ugly 00:02:27.440 --> 00:02:28.441 (GROANS) 00:02:30.600 --> 00:02:32.125 You're too sexy to me 00:02:32.440 --> 00:02:35.205 Sweetheart, darling? Saff? 00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:38.361 (THUDS) 00:02:41.680 --> 00:02:43.330 SAFFY: Your grandmother's home. 00:02:43.440 --> 00:02:46.683 Darling! Sweetheart! Darling! Sweetheart! 00:02:47.120 --> 00:02:48.485 Darling! (YELPS) 00:02:58.320 --> 00:03:00.482 (CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING) 00:03:07.800 --> 00:03:09.689 BUBBLE: Wakey, wakey, my lady. 00:03:09.800 --> 00:03:12.565 (GROANS) Oh, get out, get out. 00:03:12.800 --> 00:03:15.565 You have meetings, meetings, meetings... 00:03:15.840 --> 00:03:17.569 parties, openings. 00:03:17.640 --> 00:03:18.641 (GRUNTS) 00:03:20.720 --> 00:03:21.721 Pats? 00:03:22.160 --> 00:03:23.764 Pats! (GASPS) What? 00:03:23.840 --> 00:03:25.365 Today's the day I sign the deal 00:03:25.440 --> 00:03:26.805 on my book deal, darling. (CHUCKLES) 00:03:27.240 --> 00:03:29.607 Oh! Fabulous. 00:03:29.840 --> 00:03:31.604 (SIGHING) Yeah, fabulous. 00:03:31.840 --> 00:03:33.285 Am I in it? 00:03:33.600 --> 00:03:35.409 Of course you're in it, darling, 00:03:35.480 --> 00:03:38.450 because you are my oldest, oldest friend. 00:03:38.520 --> 00:03:39.521 Mmm-hmm. 00:03:40.520 --> 00:03:42.727 And who will play me, Eddy? 00:03:43.320 --> 00:03:45.607 Well, darling, it's only just nearly a book. 00:03:45.800 --> 00:03:47.131 It will be a film, though, sweetheart, 00:03:47.200 --> 00:03:48.531 because it's about me, isn't it? 00:03:48.720 --> 00:03:52.441 It's about London's premier fashion P. R. 00:03:52.520 --> 00:03:53.646 (CHUCKLES) 00:03:53.720 --> 00:03:54.721 Fabulous. 00:03:54.960 --> 00:03:57.645 And who will play me, Eddy? Not Jane Fonda. 00:03:58.200 --> 00:03:59.201 Why? 00:03:59.600 --> 00:04:00.886 I've had stem cells 00:04:00.960 --> 00:04:02.450 and the blood of a 2-year-old child 00:04:02.520 --> 00:04:04.648 injected in my skin and I still look like this. 00:04:04.840 --> 00:04:06.922 You need to use fetus blood, Eddy. 00:04:07.000 --> 00:04:09.401 A little spritz of afterbirth, darling. 00:04:09.640 --> 00:04:11.483 Oh. (CHUCKLES) Keep up, sweetie. 00:04:11.560 --> 00:04:12.766 (MACHINE GURGLING) 00:04:14.440 --> 00:04:15.930 Oh! 00:04:16.200 --> 00:04:17.611 I want to go in there, 00:04:17.680 --> 00:04:19.364 but I have to get past that big mirror. 00:04:19.680 --> 00:04:22.286 I think I am now officially fatter sideways 00:04:22.360 --> 00:04:23.566 than I am front on. 00:04:23.760 --> 00:04:26.650 Darling, you don't need those. I am your mirror. 00:04:27.360 --> 00:04:28.646 How do I look? 00:04:29.760 --> 00:04:31.489 Fabulous. Thank you. 00:04:31.560 --> 00:04:32.686 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 00:04:33.760 --> 00:04:34.761 Ooh. 00:04:35.320 --> 00:04:36.924 Need to move that, Eddy. 00:04:37.320 --> 00:04:39.243 I'll call Kelly Hoppen. (CHUCKLES) 00:04:39.800 --> 00:04:40.881 Fabulous. 00:04:41.800 --> 00:04:43.245 Morning. 00:04:43.520 --> 00:04:44.806 Afternoon. 00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:47.810 (SIGHS) When did these stairs get so long? 00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:49.729 SAFFY: Since you dug into middle earth. 00:04:49.920 --> 00:04:51.922 EDINA: Oh, yes. Good though, isn't it? 00:04:52.320 --> 00:04:53.606 Bo and Marshall rang. 00:04:53.800 --> 00:04:55.290 Both of them? 00:04:55.360 --> 00:04:56.930 They want to come and talk about the house. 00:04:57.320 --> 00:04:59.288 Why do they want to talk about the house? 00:04:59.640 --> 00:05:00.801 I don't know. 00:05:01.000 --> 00:05:02.490 Go outside! 00:05:02.680 --> 00:05:03.920 Eddy, I'm vaping. 00:05:04.360 --> 00:05:06.010 No, darling, you lit it, that's a cigarette. 00:05:06.400 --> 00:05:07.481 And she's a child. 00:05:07.600 --> 00:05:10.001 Then why can't she go outside into the air? 00:05:10.480 --> 00:05:12.289 Your mother's here. 00:05:12.480 --> 00:05:13.720 Oh, Christ. 00:05:13.880 --> 00:05:15.325 How long is this one here for? 00:05:15.400 --> 00:05:16.481 When's she going back? 00:05:16.680 --> 00:05:17.647 I don't know. 00:05:17.720 --> 00:05:19.688 All I know is it's something else I'm paying for. 00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:21.490 I'm not going back to Africa. 00:05:21.560 --> 00:05:23.483 If Dad wants to see me, he can come here. 00:05:23.760 --> 00:05:25.125 Why isn't he paying for her? 00:05:25.240 --> 00:05:26.605 Mum, we're divorced. 00:05:26.840 --> 00:05:28.683 Well, he can't just sit in Ebola 00:05:28.760 --> 00:05:31.604 or wherever he is, darling, and not pay for her. 00:05:31.760 --> 00:05:32.966 Gabon? 00:05:33.600 --> 00:05:34.726 What? 00:05:34.920 --> 00:05:36.285 Gabon? 00:05:38.440 --> 00:05:39.441 Gabon? 00:05:39.760 --> 00:05:41.762 Why is she... Why are you saying Gabon? 00:05:41.960 --> 00:05:43.530 Is he still in Gabon? 00:05:44.520 --> 00:05:46.329 Is he still in Gabon? No. 00:05:46.520 --> 00:05:47.931 No! No. 00:05:48.320 --> 00:05:49.526 Dad's paying for me. 00:05:50.440 --> 00:05:51.851 He gave me a credit card. 00:05:51.920 --> 00:05:53.490 EDINA: Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. 00:05:53.600 --> 00:05:55.841 Talking about credit cards. Bubble? 00:05:56.520 --> 00:06:00.320 All of my cards are broken. Fix them, please. 00:06:00.520 --> 00:06:03.091 Eddy, I'm thirsty. Morning, Mrs. M. 00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:05.329 Morning, Patsy, dear. 00:06:06.320 --> 00:06:07.651 EDINA: I'll open a Bolly. (GASPS) 00:06:10.080 --> 00:06:11.764 Darling, where is the champagne? 00:06:11.840 --> 00:06:13.001 I don't know. 00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:17.321 Where's the Bolly? Where's the champagne? 00:06:17.480 --> 00:06:19.482 If you want things, you have to pay for them. 00:06:19.640 --> 00:06:20.880 Since when? 00:06:21.080 --> 00:06:24.084 Sounds like you'll have to tighten your belt, dear. 00:06:24.360 --> 00:06:25.361 Oh. 00:06:25.640 --> 00:06:27.768 If you manage that, it'll be a first. 00:06:28.360 --> 00:06:30.567 Don't let her eat anything while she's here. 00:06:30.640 --> 00:06:31.880 All right? No eaty. 00:06:32.360 --> 00:06:34.124 Eddy, what are we going to do without champagne? 00:06:34.360 --> 00:06:35.361 (DOORBELL BUZZING) 00:06:35.480 --> 00:06:37.369 That'll be Bo and Marshall. 00:06:38.880 --> 00:06:39.927 BO: Hi, hi, hi. 00:06:40.040 --> 00:06:41.041 MARSHALL: Hello, there. 00:06:41.760 --> 00:06:44.161 No need to rush, honey. Be careful. 00:06:44.400 --> 00:06:45.481 All of this is new. 00:06:45.800 --> 00:06:46.801 Hello, everybody. 00:06:46.920 --> 00:06:47.921 Oh, hello, there. 00:06:48.360 --> 00:06:50.488 Let's get up here, one, two, three. 00:06:51.120 --> 00:06:53.361 Now tell her why we're here. 00:06:53.840 --> 00:06:56.730 I can't go on with the house payments. 00:06:57.520 --> 00:06:59.363 You paid for all this? Yes. 00:06:59.600 --> 00:07:02.604 Well, darling, that's how divorce works. Learn. 00:07:02.800 --> 00:07:04.404 He needs surgery. 00:07:04.600 --> 00:07:07.888 Yes. We can tell them. Marshall is a transgender. 00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:09.684 (CHUCKLES) He'd like to live as a woman. 00:07:09.920 --> 00:07:12.844 Oh, that's typical. Jumping on the bandwagon. 00:07:12.920 --> 00:07:14.922 Finally she gets to cut your balls off! 00:07:15.160 --> 00:07:18.687 Oh, well, I don't need your measly payments. 00:07:19.400 --> 00:07:21.721 I've got a book deal. (SCOFFS) 00:07:21.840 --> 00:07:23.171 Come on, Pats. 00:07:23.520 --> 00:07:26.524 At least you're small. You'll be able to get shoes. 00:07:27.080 --> 00:07:29.082 So when does it come off? 00:07:29.480 --> 00:07:32.723 Oh, we haven't gone through "coming off" therapy yet. 00:07:33.720 --> 00:07:35.165 Darling, come with me today. 00:07:35.400 --> 00:07:36.731 I'm putting the final touches to... 00:07:36.880 --> 00:07:39.167 the Huki Muki retrospective launch party. 00:07:39.560 --> 00:07:41.085 Can Lulu sing at that? No. 00:07:41.960 --> 00:07:44.201 Oh, no, no, that all has to go back. 00:07:44.480 --> 00:07:45.720 That's all got to go back. 00:07:45.960 --> 00:07:47.724 Eddy, how long have we got this for? 00:07:47.880 --> 00:07:49.769 Oh, they've lent it for Emma Bunton, 00:07:49.840 --> 00:07:50.887 but they don't mind. 00:07:51.080 --> 00:07:52.730 BUBBLE: No, they want it back. 00:07:52.840 --> 00:07:55.571 Exercise, exercise, exercise... done! 00:07:56.640 --> 00:07:58.483 FEMALE RADIO HOST: And coming up on "Woman's Hour", 00:07:58.560 --> 00:08:00.722 was Shakespeare's wife depressed? 00:08:01.000 --> 00:08:02.764 But first, here in the studio we have 00:08:02.840 --> 00:08:05.571 P.R. supremo Claudia Bing, a woman... 00:08:05.760 --> 00:08:06.761 with her finger on the pulse. 00:08:07.000 --> 00:08:08.889 EDINA: Oh, turn that shit off. 00:08:10.200 --> 00:08:12.806 There was a time the zeitgeist blew through me. 00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:14.764 Now it's just... 00:08:15.000 --> 00:08:17.207 A tiny fart. (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 00:08:19.200 --> 00:08:20.201 Eddy, look. 00:08:20.600 --> 00:08:22.967 Quite close by. Ooh. (CHUCKLES) 00:08:23.480 --> 00:08:25.005 No, I'm all right. 00:08:25.080 --> 00:08:26.081 (SIGHS) 00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:28.731 Had him, had him, had him, had him. 00:08:28.800 --> 00:08:29.801 (MUTTERING) 00:08:31.000 --> 00:08:33.002 Eddy, can we stop at the Wolseley? 00:08:33.480 --> 00:08:35.608 No, darling, my cards are broken. 00:08:36.480 --> 00:08:37.766 Chiltern Firehouse? 00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:40.048 My cards are broken! 00:08:41.480 --> 00:08:43.164 Well, haven't you got any of that... 00:08:45.760 --> 00:08:47.046 hand money? 00:08:47.480 --> 00:08:48.766 No. 00:08:51.480 --> 00:08:52.766 (CAMERA CLICKING) 00:08:54.480 --> 00:08:55.606 What is that? 00:08:55.960 --> 00:08:57.246 Chanel No. 5. 00:08:57.640 --> 00:08:59.051 No, I'm all right. 00:09:01.800 --> 00:09:03.529 Show them your breasts. No. 00:09:03.800 --> 00:09:05.529 Oh, come on. Leave it, Bo. 00:09:05.720 --> 00:09:07.961 Women, can't live with 'em, can't... (GASPS) 00:09:08.520 --> 00:09:10.522 Is this little Lola? 00:09:10.640 --> 00:09:11.880 (CHUCKLES) Oh. 00:09:11.960 --> 00:09:12.961 Africa. 00:09:13.520 --> 00:09:16.205 We are sisters. My people are your people. 00:09:16.640 --> 00:09:17.801 Which people? 00:09:18.040 --> 00:09:20.520 Black people. I am a black person. 00:09:21.640 --> 00:09:24.086 Deep down, we are all black. 00:09:24.160 --> 00:09:25.161 Oh! 00:09:35.200 --> 00:09:38.682 So, can I have an advance? (CHUCKLES) 00:09:38.840 --> 00:09:42.083 No. What is this? I just don't get it. 00:09:43.080 --> 00:09:45.606 Well, this isn't how it would be written. 00:09:45.680 --> 00:09:47.842 This is how I dictated it to Bubble. 00:09:48.560 --> 00:09:50.085 Bubble. What is Bubble? 00:09:50.760 --> 00:09:52.000 My P.A., Bubble. 00:09:52.920 --> 00:09:54.331 (GIGGLING) 00:09:55.000 --> 00:09:56.889 Oh, I thought it was new software. 00:09:57.320 --> 00:09:59.800 You see, I'm just not really understanding 00:09:59.880 --> 00:10:01.644 anything you say. (CHUCKLES) 00:10:02.120 --> 00:10:03.849 I need a coffee. 00:10:04.560 --> 00:10:05.561 Coffee! 00:10:06.560 --> 00:10:09.131 I mean, the world of P. R. Mmm. 00:10:09.320 --> 00:10:11.766 Who really knows what P. R. is? 00:10:12.000 --> 00:10:14.685 P. R. is everything. I am P. R. 00:10:14.920 --> 00:10:16.604 I took Sting and put him in the rainforest, 00:10:16.720 --> 00:10:18.245 gave the little pygmies a party. 00:10:18.680 --> 00:10:20.842 I put Bono behind yellow glasses. 00:10:20.920 --> 00:10:22.331 I gave celebrities AIDS. 00:10:22.720 --> 00:10:23.721 (CHUCKLES) 00:10:24.240 --> 00:10:25.890 The T-shirt. 00:10:26.120 --> 00:10:27.884 Anyway, look... 00:10:28.120 --> 00:10:29.884 there's not enough here. 00:10:30.640 --> 00:10:31.641 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 00:10:31.720 --> 00:10:32.881 What do you mean, not enough? 00:10:32.960 --> 00:10:36.282 There's pages and pages. I dictated it to Bubble. 00:10:37.800 --> 00:10:40.610 It mostly just says, "Blah, blah, blah." 00:10:45.040 --> 00:10:47.008 Who do you represent in P. R.? 00:10:47.080 --> 00:10:48.081 (SIGHS) 00:10:48.160 --> 00:10:50.367 Well, it's not just the "who's", 00:10:50.600 --> 00:10:52.921 it's the "what's". It's the likes of... 00:10:53.080 --> 00:10:55.287 Not the "likes of", the "actuals". 00:10:57.280 --> 00:10:58.611 The singer Lulu. 00:10:59.160 --> 00:11:00.366 Who else? 00:11:01.240 --> 00:11:02.366 (STAMMERS) 00:11:02.640 --> 00:11:04.165 Spice Emma, Baby Bunton. 00:11:04.760 --> 00:11:05.921 And? 00:11:07.640 --> 00:11:08.641 Queen Noor. 00:11:10.040 --> 00:11:13.761 I have a huge boutique vodka. I have Pop-Specs. 00:11:14.640 --> 00:11:15.641 Joel. 00:11:16.400 --> 00:11:19.290 Graham! Graham, I know you. I know him. 00:11:19.640 --> 00:11:20.641 He loves me. 00:11:20.840 --> 00:11:22.410 I don't love you. You're gay, come on. 00:11:22.760 --> 00:11:25.331 I don't love you! Leave me alone. 00:11:25.720 --> 00:11:27.324 I don't know what's wrong with him. 00:11:28.120 --> 00:11:29.326 All my friends are gay. 00:11:30.320 --> 00:11:32.971 And Nigella! Yes. I know Nigella. 00:11:33.200 --> 00:11:35.771 Write a chapter on that. Me and Nigella... 00:11:36.000 --> 00:11:38.651 eating late at night... in a fridge. 00:11:38.880 --> 00:11:39.881 No. 00:11:40.960 --> 00:11:42.962 Can I have an advance? No. 00:11:43.120 --> 00:11:44.121 Why? 00:11:44.280 --> 00:11:45.327 Because it's shit. 00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:47.001 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 00:11:47.120 --> 00:11:48.406 Eddy, let's go. 00:11:48.960 --> 00:11:49.961 I'll be late. 00:11:54.200 --> 00:11:56.362 You only read 'em. You don't write 'em. 00:11:57.960 --> 00:12:00.088 You just work in the shop. 00:12:01.000 --> 00:12:03.446 You think your life's interesting. It isn't. 00:12:04.360 --> 00:12:07.170 It may be worth living, but it's not worth reading. 00:12:07.960 --> 00:12:11.009 It's happened. Move on. 00:12:13.000 --> 00:12:14.001 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 00:12:15.320 --> 00:12:17.322 Bloody, bloody books! Bloody books! 00:12:17.400 --> 00:12:19.368 Blah, blah, blah! Bloody books! 00:12:20.320 --> 00:12:21.446 (GRUNTS) 00:12:22.040 --> 00:12:24.930 PATSY: I have to check the Huki Muki mannequins before tonight. (SNORTS) 00:12:25.000 --> 00:12:26.729 Coming with me, Eds? 00:12:26.800 --> 00:12:27.801 No, I can't. 00:12:28.400 --> 00:12:31.324 I've got that P. R. persons lunch-of-the-month lunch. 00:12:31.720 --> 00:12:32.721 BUBBLE: Brunch. 00:12:32.920 --> 00:12:34.809 A munch-of-the-munch munch? 00:12:35.000 --> 00:12:36.411 Not munch. Lunch. 00:12:36.800 --> 00:12:38.040 Oh, kill her, Eddy. 00:12:38.160 --> 00:12:39.400 What are we going to? 00:12:39.800 --> 00:12:40.926 BUBBLE: Have you rung Lulu yet? 00:12:41.000 --> 00:12:42.490 Oh, shut up about Lulu. (WHISTLES) 00:12:42.720 --> 00:12:43.926 Don't rush me. 00:12:44.840 --> 00:12:46.763 I haven't got any money. 00:12:46.840 --> 00:12:48.808 Get someone to pay at the other end. 00:12:49.280 --> 00:12:50.770 Where's my car? 00:12:50.840 --> 00:12:52.410 It's gone back to Baby Bunton. 00:12:52.800 --> 00:12:53.801 But I need wheels! 00:12:53.960 --> 00:12:54.961 Oh! 00:12:55.160 --> 00:12:58.050 But you were only given feet. 00:12:58.200 --> 00:12:59.361 Oh, shut up. 00:13:09.160 --> 00:13:11.766 Yeah. Love. Love. 00:13:12.160 --> 00:13:13.161 Hate. 00:13:13.360 --> 00:13:15.124 Put the fishtail next to the red blob. 00:13:15.200 --> 00:13:17.089 And change that mannequin, it's too fat. 00:13:17.280 --> 00:13:18.770 Why are we doing this by the river? 00:13:18.840 --> 00:13:20.205 It stinks of fish. 00:13:20.440 --> 00:13:22.169 Is that you? Good grief. 00:13:22.400 --> 00:13:24.243 What's the food? Oh, raw. 00:13:24.360 --> 00:13:25.646 Freshly dead, octopus with a pulse? 00:13:25.720 --> 00:13:26.687 Yeah. 00:13:26.760 --> 00:13:27.761 Cocktails? 00:13:27.880 --> 00:13:29.405 The mixologist is Madeira Slice. 00:13:29.480 --> 00:13:32.848 He's doing his flaming gasoline herbal labia cocktails. 00:13:33.080 --> 00:13:34.411 No olives. No. 00:13:34.760 --> 00:13:36.330 Oh, Metro wants a paragraph. 00:13:36.520 --> 00:13:38.887 Oh, Patsy Stone, fashion editor, The A. 00:13:39.080 --> 00:13:41.003 Fashion designer Huki Muki 00:13:41.080 --> 00:13:43.082 makes Valentino look like Topshop. 00:13:43.320 --> 00:13:45.482 Disorientating beauty juxtaposed 00:13:45.560 --> 00:13:47.801 between life and death... and shoes. 00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:50.481 Yeah, all that shit, but more importantly, 00:13:50.600 --> 00:13:52.204 our magazine is sponsoring it. 00:13:52.440 --> 00:13:54.442 I want Huki Muki smaller, our logo bigger. 00:13:54.560 --> 00:13:55.925 Yeah, Magda. 00:13:56.200 --> 00:13:58.806 Oi, Pats. I've just been with Valentino. 00:13:59.080 --> 00:14:00.081 What's left of him? 00:14:00.240 --> 00:14:02.163 Not much. He's a small lizard handbag 00:14:02.240 --> 00:14:03.571 with a hoverboard of hair. 00:14:03.800 --> 00:14:04.926 (BOTH LAUGHING) 00:14:05.360 --> 00:14:06.850 Shut up! Ooh! 00:14:07.800 --> 00:14:09.370 Guest list, now. Right. 00:14:09.560 --> 00:14:14.282 Okay, we have got all the Jenners and Tyga... 00:14:14.480 --> 00:14:16.960 Suki, Cara, David... 00:14:17.240 --> 00:14:21.245 Kanye. We have Dolce, but not Gabbana. Okay. 00:14:21.480 --> 00:14:23.881 SamCam, I don't know who... 00:14:23.960 --> 00:14:26.247 Ai Wuhwuh... Ai Weiwuh... Weiwie... 00:14:26.840 --> 00:14:27.966 Am I going deaf 00:14:28.040 --> 00:14:30.122 or have you not said "Kate Moss" yet? 00:14:30.280 --> 00:14:31.645 Apart from the fact 00:14:31.880 --> 00:14:33.166 me head's full of fish fumes... 00:14:33.360 --> 00:14:35.601 it's impossible because she's left her P. R. 00:14:37.120 --> 00:14:38.645 I shouldn't have said that, it's secret. 00:14:38.880 --> 00:14:40.120 Delete, delete. 00:14:40.280 --> 00:14:42.282 I don't care. Just get her here. 00:14:42.520 --> 00:14:45.046 Offer her ayahuasca and shamans 00:14:45.120 --> 00:14:46.849 and enough vodka to kill cattle. 00:14:47.040 --> 00:14:50.328 I'm off to Chanel. Lagerfeld waits for no man. 00:14:50.520 --> 00:14:52.284 Get me an Uber. A minicab? 00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:56.326 Helicopter! I don't do traffic! 00:14:57.080 --> 00:14:58.206 Bag. 00:14:58.400 --> 00:14:59.970 Chanel, Chanel! 00:15:00.040 --> 00:15:01.610 I can't bloody work with that shit! 00:15:05.520 --> 00:15:07.488 PR HOST: Welcome, everybody, to this month's 00:15:07.560 --> 00:15:09.881 P.R. person-of-the-month lunch. 00:15:10.520 --> 00:15:13.285 Eat. It's all free. 00:15:13.880 --> 00:15:17.885 Nothing is free anymore. Even freedom isn't free. 00:15:18.160 --> 00:15:19.491 It used to be. 00:15:19.560 --> 00:15:21.449 But now everybody wants your PIN number. 00:15:21.640 --> 00:15:24.530 Sure they do, old girl. Sure they do. 00:15:24.880 --> 00:15:25.881 Say nothing. 00:15:26.080 --> 00:15:27.206 Edina. 00:15:27.520 --> 00:15:28.487 Claudia. 00:15:28.560 --> 00:15:30.005 I hear you've just been to a meeting 00:15:30.080 --> 00:15:32.811 with my friend Joel at Random Penguin. 00:15:32.880 --> 00:15:33.881 Yeah, it went really well. 00:15:34.520 --> 00:15:36.329 He said how it went. 00:15:36.560 --> 00:15:39.006 PR HOST: Ladies and gentlemen, Claudia Bing. 00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:43.649 Thank you, guys. So proud to be yet again... 00:15:44.040 --> 00:15:47.522 the P. R. person's P. R. person of the month. 00:15:48.200 --> 00:15:51.568 We will continue to run campaigns... 00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:54.367 with the... "sergeny"? 00:15:54.560 --> 00:15:55.766 Synergy. 00:15:55.880 --> 00:15:57.041 Oh, synergy. 00:15:57.440 --> 00:15:59.010 Shooting up and... Out. 00:16:00.040 --> 00:16:02.930 Out. Shooting out on Twitter... 00:16:03.120 --> 00:16:06.124 and joining up all those conversations. 00:16:06.360 --> 00:16:08.488 Do we do that? No. 00:16:08.920 --> 00:16:13.926 Who knew that a blog post could do more than a banner or cookie engagement? 00:16:14.160 --> 00:16:15.685 Do you feed my Twitter? 00:16:16.040 --> 00:16:19.249 No, I forgot. And it died. 00:16:21.040 --> 00:16:22.405 (INAUDIBLE) 00:16:27.560 --> 00:16:29.403 These days, you can't get by 00:16:29.480 --> 00:16:32.211 with a couple of old pop stars and a vodka. 00:16:32.280 --> 00:16:33.281 (PEOPLE SNICKERING) 00:16:33.360 --> 00:16:36.967 It's a boutique vodka! It's a huge boutique vodka! 00:16:37.040 --> 00:16:38.201 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 00:16:40.360 --> 00:16:42.567 PATSY: Eddy! Top secret, darling. 00:16:42.640 --> 00:16:43.971 You don't know this... 00:16:44.160 --> 00:16:46.640 and I don't know this, but, darling... 00:16:47.080 --> 00:16:48.969 Kate Moss is changing her P.R.! 00:16:49.040 --> 00:16:50.041 (GASPS) 00:16:51.400 --> 00:16:52.970 Darling? Kate Moss! 00:16:53.240 --> 00:16:54.605 Oh, shut up! Stop! 00:16:54.960 --> 00:16:56.166 Eds, darling, 00:16:56.240 --> 00:16:59.084 she's going to be at the Huki Muki. 00:16:59.280 --> 00:17:00.964 Shut up! Shut up! 00:17:01.200 --> 00:17:02.281 No one else will know. 00:17:02.360 --> 00:17:03.725 Don't let that bitch Bing know. 00:17:04.040 --> 00:17:05.246 (MUFFLED CONVERSATION) 00:17:05.520 --> 00:17:06.521 Damn! 00:17:06.640 --> 00:17:08.404 So common. 00:17:10.720 --> 00:17:11.721 (SNIFFS) Ooh! 00:17:15.120 --> 00:17:16.121 SAFFY: Lola! 00:17:16.400 --> 00:17:18.402 Lola! What? 00:17:18.640 --> 00:17:20.210 Have you seen Gran? 00:17:20.280 --> 00:17:21.486 (DOORBELL RINGING) 00:17:25.280 --> 00:17:27.282 Hi. Hi. Hi. 00:17:27.640 --> 00:17:28.641 (CHUCKLES) 00:17:30.800 --> 00:17:31.801 Oh. 00:17:31.880 --> 00:17:34.645 Um, are you okay? You seem a bit flustered. 00:17:34.800 --> 00:17:36.450 Yeah, uh, no. Uh... 00:17:36.640 --> 00:17:38.881 I just need to see Gran off to the airport. 00:17:39.160 --> 00:17:41.322 My mother's looking after Lola tonight. 00:17:41.480 --> 00:17:43.164 Should I meet your mother? No. 00:17:43.680 --> 00:17:44.681 Okay. 00:17:45.160 --> 00:17:46.810 Sorry. It's fine. 00:17:47.320 --> 00:17:48.560 Can I kiss you properly now? 00:17:48.640 --> 00:17:50.483 I've been thinking about it all day. 00:17:51.160 --> 00:17:52.844 (STAMMERS) Sorry. 00:17:56.560 --> 00:17:57.925 Oh, my God. 00:17:58.160 --> 00:17:59.685 I can't believe that face 00:17:59.760 --> 00:18:01.603 came from the womb of the little dumpster. 00:18:01.800 --> 00:18:02.847 Excuse me? 00:18:03.160 --> 00:18:05.606 Tonight, Lola, you are my perfect accessory. 00:18:05.720 --> 00:18:07.688 Oh, she won't need much, darling. 00:18:07.840 --> 00:18:09.649 If raw material was the finished article, 00:18:09.720 --> 00:18:11.370 there'd be no point of me. 00:18:11.520 --> 00:18:13.488 I'm going to straighten and shimmer. 00:18:13.680 --> 00:18:14.727 LOLA: Ow! Ow! Go for it. 00:18:14.920 --> 00:18:17.605 Just take the pain, bitch. Your hair will straighten. 00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:18.647 Ow! 00:18:18.720 --> 00:18:20.688 Beyoncé cried, too, but she surrendered. 00:18:20.760 --> 00:18:21.761 Ow! 00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:25.241 (RATTLING) 00:18:25.520 --> 00:18:26.681 Don't stop. 00:18:26.840 --> 00:18:30.367 There's something in the suitcase? 00:18:37.760 --> 00:18:39.489 Where am I? 00:18:39.720 --> 00:18:40.960 Oh, Gran! 00:18:42.480 --> 00:18:43.527 What's she doing? 00:18:43.720 --> 00:18:45.563 I'm off to Cannes, dear. 00:18:45.760 --> 00:18:48.366 She's going to Aunt Violet's birthday party. 00:18:48.560 --> 00:18:49.891 Why don't I know about this? 00:18:50.280 --> 00:18:52.601 We didn't want you to know, dear. 00:18:52.680 --> 00:18:54.808 It's going to be very sprauncy. 00:18:54.880 --> 00:18:56.405 (DOORBELL RINGS) Oh! 00:18:56.520 --> 00:18:59.524 No, no, leave it! It's Pats. Patsy. 00:19:00.880 --> 00:19:02.291 Hi, darling. 00:19:02.360 --> 00:19:03.407 Got some threads for the midget. 00:19:03.560 --> 00:19:04.721 Leave them there. 00:19:04.880 --> 00:19:07.770 Oh, I smell pigs, Eddy. I smell rozzers. 00:19:08.520 --> 00:19:12.241 Oh, just a thought. Will I need injections, Saffy? 00:19:12.440 --> 00:19:13.646 Yeah, lethal ones. 00:19:14.040 --> 00:19:15.451 JUNE: Bonjour. 00:19:16.240 --> 00:19:17.526 You just met my mother. 00:19:19.240 --> 00:19:20.810 She seems nice. 00:19:22.680 --> 00:19:23.727 Look up. 00:19:23.800 --> 00:19:25.245 Okay, I'm looking up. 00:19:26.920 --> 00:19:28.365 Patsy's here. (HISSES) 00:19:28.440 --> 00:19:29.521 Ugh. 00:19:29.600 --> 00:19:31.523 Darling, it's pretty exciting, isn't it? 00:19:31.600 --> 00:19:33.443 Tonight is going to change everything. 00:19:33.680 --> 00:19:35.603 Oh, my God, what's happening? 00:19:35.920 --> 00:19:38.685 No, Eddy. What? 00:19:39.800 --> 00:19:41.802 I'm going to... Don't tell him, Eddy. 00:19:42.560 --> 00:19:43.561 Tell him, Eddy. 00:19:45.280 --> 00:19:47.601 I'm gonna get Kate Moss! I'm her new P. R.! 00:19:47.680 --> 00:19:48.841 (CHUCKLES) (SCREAMS) 00:19:51.960 --> 00:19:53.689 Go on, go to Patsy. 00:19:53.760 --> 00:19:55.569 (CHUCKLES) 00:19:56.640 --> 00:19:57.641 (SIGHS) 00:19:59.600 --> 00:20:01.807 (SLOW MUSIC PLAYING) 00:20:01.960 --> 00:20:03.724 We all love you. 00:20:03.960 --> 00:20:05.610 We love you. We love you. 00:20:05.800 --> 00:20:08.485 We thought we'd go to Goa for an Ayurvedic colonic. 00:20:08.720 --> 00:20:10.449 It's totes amaze. So beautiful. 00:20:10.640 --> 00:20:12.847 Edina has to come. She has to. 00:20:13.600 --> 00:20:15.443 Or we could go out. 00:20:15.520 --> 00:20:16.931 There's that new club, FoFo BoBo. 00:20:17.320 --> 00:20:19.084 (GASPS) Who's D.J.-ing? Dead Mice. 00:20:19.360 --> 00:20:20.407 (ALL GASPING) 00:20:20.480 --> 00:20:22.323 I love Dead Mice. 00:20:22.520 --> 00:20:24.602 LARA STONE: Oh, Edina, you have to come. 00:20:24.800 --> 00:20:26.802 Stella will give you all the clothes you need. 00:20:27.320 --> 00:20:29.527 I would love to dress you. 00:20:30.320 --> 00:20:31.606 KATE MOSS: Oh, Eddy... 00:20:31.840 --> 00:20:34.002 you're my favorite person in the whole world. 00:20:34.080 --> 00:20:36.003 You have to do my P. R. 00:20:36.280 --> 00:20:37.884 Please, you have to. 00:20:38.720 --> 00:20:40.006 Please? Okay, okay. 00:20:40.480 --> 00:20:41.891 (CHANTING) Eddy! Eddy! Eddy! 00:20:51.320 --> 00:20:54.005 What are those? I'm not wearing them! 00:20:54.520 --> 00:20:58.081 Pats! Will you just let her wear what she wants? 00:20:59.000 --> 00:21:00.570 Can I do Kate's hair? 00:21:00.640 --> 00:21:02.529 I'd love to give her ends a good tonging. 00:21:02.680 --> 00:21:03.681 Yes. 00:21:03.800 --> 00:21:04.801 (CHUCKLING) 00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:06.411 She's going to love you, Lola. 00:21:06.480 --> 00:21:07.527 Why? 00:21:07.640 --> 00:21:08.971 'Cause you have what we all want. 00:21:09.080 --> 00:21:10.445 Eddy, look. 00:21:10.880 --> 00:21:13.645 Youth patch. Absorb, absorb. (CHUCKLING) 00:21:14.520 --> 00:21:15.681 Now, listen. 00:21:15.760 --> 00:21:17.524 You're coming as my daughter, so all you do... 00:21:17.760 --> 00:21:19.524 I'm not going to be man bait. 00:21:19.680 --> 00:21:21.364 (CHUCKLES) You should be so lucky. 00:21:21.600 --> 00:21:23.045 (SHUSHING) 00:21:24.520 --> 00:21:25.885 What are you doing? 00:21:26.800 --> 00:21:29.531 I'm going. I want to go. 00:21:29.720 --> 00:21:31.006 Kate Moss will be there and Eddy said... 00:21:31.080 --> 00:21:32.127 (TUTTING) 00:21:32.440 --> 00:21:33.680 What? 00:21:35.800 --> 00:21:38.690 Are you sexing that little rodent downstairs, darling? 00:21:39.560 --> 00:21:41.927 You know what? Fine. Fuck it. 00:21:42.400 --> 00:21:43.925 Sorry. Fuck. Fuck! 00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:45.925 Fuck, fuck, fuck. 00:21:46.120 --> 00:21:47.121 Fuck it! 00:21:48.560 --> 00:21:50.608 I am going out. Do what you want. 00:21:50.680 --> 00:21:52.409 You can do what you want. 00:21:52.680 --> 00:21:54.409 Just don't do it to get at me. 00:21:54.600 --> 00:21:56.841 I ruined my life by trying not to make my mother happy. 00:21:56.960 --> 00:21:58.086 Don't do the same. 00:22:07.480 --> 00:22:08.606 (EXHALES) 00:22:11.080 --> 00:22:13.048 You wearing Stella McCartney tonight, Eds? 00:22:13.400 --> 00:22:15.402 Uh, no, darling, no. 00:22:16.080 --> 00:22:18.606 She still won't let me in her shop. 00:22:19.680 --> 00:22:21.011 (CROWD CHEERING) 00:22:21.760 --> 00:22:23.125 I'm here on the red carpet 00:22:23.200 --> 00:22:24.850 of the Huki Muki retrospective... 00:22:25.080 --> 00:22:27.082 with London's fashion glitterati. 00:22:27.600 --> 00:22:30.080 If you're not here, then who the hell are you? 00:22:30.440 --> 00:22:31.646 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 00:22:35.840 --> 00:22:37.126 You're singing tonight, Lulu. 00:22:37.200 --> 00:22:39.965 Yeah. It's going to be a great crowd in there. I'm excited. 00:22:40.120 --> 00:22:43.124 Jerry, you look ravishing. What are you wearing? 00:22:43.600 --> 00:22:45.090 Well, Richard, I'm wearing a dress 00:22:45.160 --> 00:22:47.128 that was given to me by Chanel. 00:22:47.600 --> 00:22:49.489 As you can see, it's beautiful. 00:22:49.560 --> 00:22:51.210 I have lots of their dresses. 00:22:53.880 --> 00:22:56.008 Magda, is it possible... No. 00:23:00.080 --> 00:23:01.650 Gwendoline? Gwendoline? 00:23:01.800 --> 00:23:03.131 How are you? 00:23:03.560 --> 00:23:04.607 You're really tall. Well spotted. 00:23:05.800 --> 00:23:09.486 It's just I was speaking to Lulu and she's quite small. 00:23:09.640 --> 00:23:10.641 Great. 00:23:10.880 --> 00:23:12.166 Last ones, please. 00:23:12.560 --> 00:23:15.564 Good grief. Oh, Christ, love, we can see your bumhole. 00:23:15.640 --> 00:23:16.641 This way. 00:23:16.760 --> 00:23:18.489 Do you think Kate's already here? 00:23:18.560 --> 00:23:19.721 Hiya, hiya, hiya. 00:23:20.040 --> 00:23:22.042 Where's Kate? Darling, just be cool. 00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:24.846 I am cool, darling. I am cool. 00:23:25.160 --> 00:23:27.481 Oh, shit! Lulu. Forgot to ring her. 00:23:27.800 --> 00:23:29.928 What'll I tell Lulu? 00:23:30.040 --> 00:23:32.247 Oi! You're not wearing my clothes, are you? 00:23:32.680 --> 00:23:33.761 No, darling, no. 00:23:33.840 --> 00:23:36.047 This is all T. K. Maxx. T. K. Maxx. 00:23:36.800 --> 00:23:38.245 I can't stand that woman. 00:23:38.680 --> 00:23:40.682 Let it go. Just breathe. (SIGHS) 00:23:40.920 --> 00:23:41.921 Stella, darling. 00:23:43.120 --> 00:23:45.521 Is your father with you? Is little Pauly with you? 00:23:45.840 --> 00:23:47.251 No. Oh, that's a shame. 00:23:47.680 --> 00:23:49.523 I was hoping to have a little catch-up with him. 00:23:49.600 --> 00:23:52.683 I haven't seen him since 1969, know what I mean? 00:23:53.000 --> 00:23:55.685 Ugh, God, and the world blamed Yoko. 00:23:56.080 --> 00:23:59.926 My shoes I just adore. So comfortable. 00:24:00.200 --> 00:24:02.123 They're also made by Chanel. 00:24:02.200 --> 00:24:04.806 And are made of really soft leather. 00:24:05.040 --> 00:24:06.087 (CROWD CHEERING) 00:24:06.160 --> 00:24:07.969 WOMAN: Huki Muki! 00:24:09.600 --> 00:24:10.965 I need to piss. 00:24:11.160 --> 00:24:12.207 Huki! Huki! 00:24:12.720 --> 00:24:16.088 Just a word, please! Huki! Huki Muki! 00:24:17.840 --> 00:24:19.171 Sorry, Huki won't speak. 00:24:19.560 --> 00:24:22.564 Why do you think there's been a Huki Muki revival? 00:24:22.760 --> 00:24:26.651 It's about blobs. Great big blobs of color. 00:24:26.840 --> 00:24:28.729 But why now? 00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:31.725 It's simply that we're ready to see it again. 00:24:31.880 --> 00:24:33.644 Thank you very much. 00:24:33.720 --> 00:24:35.563 Claudia Bing, an incredible woman. 00:24:35.760 --> 00:24:38.843 You know, Richard, you really can't go wrong with Chanel. 00:24:39.080 --> 00:24:40.605 I've been a big fan of Karl's 00:24:40.680 --> 00:24:43.729 for so many years, and I love what he does. 00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:45.001 And glasses off. 00:24:45.760 --> 00:24:47.091 And glasses on again, darling. 00:24:47.720 --> 00:24:49.882 ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, La Roux! 00:24:49.960 --> 00:24:51.769 He wants to know 00:24:52.120 --> 00:24:53.884 What it feels like 00:24:54.000 --> 00:24:55.684 Excuse me. (CHUCKLES) 00:24:56.840 --> 00:24:58.729 Just looking for my mate, Kate. 00:24:58.800 --> 00:25:02.009 She wants to know What it feels like 00:25:02.240 --> 00:25:05.164 To settle down Settle down 00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:07.321 He's got the money 00:25:07.600 --> 00:25:10.683 Have you seen Kate Moss? Just looking for Kate. 00:25:10.880 --> 00:25:12.291 He wants to pounce 00:25:12.680 --> 00:25:13.681 You're joking. 00:25:13.760 --> 00:25:14.727 He wants to pounce 00:25:14.800 --> 00:25:16.290 Never know ifhe's giving you up 00:25:16.600 --> 00:25:18.284 Are youjust not good enough 00:25:18.600 --> 00:25:20.762 Lulu, I thought you were singing tonight. 00:25:21.040 --> 00:25:22.371 That's what I was told. 00:25:22.760 --> 00:25:25.047 She's done this to me before as well. 00:25:25.200 --> 00:25:26.201 Oi! 00:25:26.280 --> 00:25:29.284 You. You told Lulu this was her gig. 00:25:30.280 --> 00:25:32.169 You know what, darling? It is, 'cause afterwards, 00:25:32.240 --> 00:25:35.289 they said you can sing "Shout". Accapeli. 00:25:39.160 --> 00:25:41.640 I will bloody murder her. 00:25:41.840 --> 00:25:44.047 Has anyone seen Kate? I'm supposed to meet her. 00:25:44.920 --> 00:25:46.888 Get me half a Bass in a straight glass, 00:25:46.960 --> 00:25:49.167 and something to eat, but nothing with tentacles. 00:25:49.640 --> 00:25:51.210 And none of that dim sum bollocks. 00:25:51.320 --> 00:25:52.321 Get me a sandwich. 00:25:52.960 --> 00:25:54.724 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 00:25:55.680 --> 00:25:57.125 He wants to know 00:25:58.200 --> 00:25:59.406 Kelly Hoppen. 00:25:59.640 --> 00:26:01.085 What's your take on all this color? 00:26:01.320 --> 00:26:03.288 To be honest, it's doing my head in. 00:26:03.640 --> 00:26:06.086 Eddy, little Kate is on the balcony. 00:26:06.160 --> 00:26:07.321 (GASPS) She's out there, darling! 00:26:07.800 --> 00:26:09.962 Oh, Lola, Lola, follow, follow. 00:26:12.440 --> 00:26:14.090 (INAUDIBLE) 00:26:17.160 --> 00:26:18.161 Sweetie! 00:26:18.840 --> 00:26:20.205 LOLA: It's Brienne of Tarth... 00:26:20.320 --> 00:26:22.209 PATSY: Lola, come here! 00:26:22.400 --> 00:26:24.084 Are you okay? 00:26:24.320 --> 00:26:27.290 (SIGHS) I just have this nightmare P. R. 00:26:27.680 --> 00:26:30.081 Oh, I got rid of mine. Good for you. 00:26:30.320 --> 00:26:33.244 Eddy, I'm going to roll away the Hamm. 00:26:33.360 --> 00:26:34.691 All right, darling. 00:26:34.880 --> 00:26:35.881 I don't even know what they do. 00:26:35.960 --> 00:26:36.961 Who does? 00:26:37.360 --> 00:26:38.850 Oh, watch out. 00:26:39.080 --> 00:26:41.367 Hi, Jonny. Patsy. Stone. 00:26:41.840 --> 00:26:42.841 Patsy. 00:26:43.240 --> 00:26:45.368 Hamm. Jon. Hamm. 00:26:45.840 --> 00:26:47.365 Don't you remember me, Jonny? 00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:49.001 No. 00:26:49.200 --> 00:26:50.964 Jonny Jonny from the Big Apple 00:26:51.040 --> 00:26:53.441 needing a little taste of the English rose? 00:26:55.320 --> 00:26:56.446 Oh, God. 00:26:56.880 --> 00:26:59.360 Yes, I do. I was fifteen. 00:26:59.880 --> 00:27:01.120 But you were a very big fifteen, sweetheart. 00:27:01.200 --> 00:27:02.247 Oh, God. 00:27:02.440 --> 00:27:06.240 I want you to go over there and talk to her casually. 00:27:06.440 --> 00:27:07.441 And then what? 00:27:07.880 --> 00:27:09.245 Then I'll come over and join you 00:27:09.320 --> 00:27:10.367 and she'll think I'm cool... 00:27:10.800 --> 00:27:13.201 and before you know it, I'll be doing her P. R. 00:27:13.400 --> 00:27:14.811 That's the plan? Yeah. 00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:16.126 Jesus. 00:27:16.320 --> 00:27:17.401 (CHUCKLES) 00:27:17.800 --> 00:27:20.041 I can't believe you're still, uh... 00:27:21.040 --> 00:27:22.371 alive. 00:27:22.720 --> 00:27:24.290 Can I offer you a taste now? No. 00:27:24.480 --> 00:27:25.970 Oh, come on, Jonny, come on. 00:27:26.080 --> 00:27:27.411 No, thank you. 00:27:28.080 --> 00:27:31.368 You took my virginity. Please leave me my... 00:27:32.160 --> 00:27:33.366 sanity. 00:27:33.440 --> 00:27:34.441 Good luck. 00:27:34.520 --> 00:27:36.010 Jonny. Hi, Kate, sweetie. 00:27:36.360 --> 00:27:37.486 Jonny? Jonny? 00:27:37.960 --> 00:27:40.042 Okay, go, go, go! 00:27:40.400 --> 00:27:42.767 Talk to her. Big me up. 00:27:51.040 --> 00:27:52.644 Yes, yes. Smoke, smoke. 00:27:54.040 --> 00:27:55.280 Smoke. 00:27:55.560 --> 00:27:57.244 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 00:28:06.320 --> 00:28:08.209 Kate? Claudia Bing. 00:28:08.440 --> 00:28:09.885 Edina Monsoon! Oh! 00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:11.081 (GASPS) 00:28:15.160 --> 00:28:16.161 (GASPS) 00:28:16.400 --> 00:28:17.401 Kate! 00:28:17.480 --> 00:28:18.970 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 00:28:21.280 --> 00:28:22.520 Why did you do that? 00:28:22.600 --> 00:28:23.806 EDINA: She fell. 00:28:24.200 --> 00:28:26.089 You pushed her. No, she fell! 00:28:26.320 --> 00:28:27.970 I saw you! 00:28:28.200 --> 00:28:30.089 Kate Moss has been pushed! 00:28:30.280 --> 00:28:31.884 (GUESTS EXCLAIMING) 00:28:33.200 --> 00:28:34.964 Kate! Kate! 00:28:35.200 --> 00:28:36.884 Kate Moss! 00:28:37.000 --> 00:28:39.571 Hold on. I'll go in! 00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:42.970 You are not going in! Put your jacket back on! 00:28:43.240 --> 00:28:44.287 Eddy! 00:28:44.360 --> 00:28:46.169 She'll pop up! It's only water! 00:28:47.480 --> 00:28:50.484 It's just water, why isn't she popping up? 00:28:51.160 --> 00:28:52.446 Why did you do this? 00:28:52.800 --> 00:28:54.802 I didn't do it! She just fell! 00:28:55.040 --> 00:28:57.247 Eddy, this is my party! 00:29:00.240 --> 00:29:02.004 I have a limp and I don't know why. 00:29:02.160 --> 00:29:03.321 Get them all down. 00:29:03.400 --> 00:29:05.164 I don't want to see anything on camera. 00:29:05.360 --> 00:29:06.441 Right, the only thing is... Now! 00:29:07.480 --> 00:29:11.530 I fucking hate parties. I fucking hate handbags! 00:29:11.880 --> 00:29:13.405 (MUMBLING) 00:29:13.520 --> 00:29:15.124 Me leg. Good Lord. 00:29:15.360 --> 00:29:16.771 Magda! Selfie! 00:29:16.840 --> 00:29:17.841 Fuck off! 00:29:18.120 --> 00:29:19.406 Get them off. 00:29:19.840 --> 00:29:23.287 That woman has always been out of control. 00:29:23.360 --> 00:29:24.850 Kate was trying to get away from her. 00:29:25.040 --> 00:29:27.327 I was shocked. I saw it happen. 00:29:27.400 --> 00:29:28.526 She was pushed. 00:29:29.280 --> 00:29:31.282 Did I miss something? 00:29:32.520 --> 00:29:36.047 ORLA GUERIN: This is the scene wherejust a few hours ago... 00:29:36.280 --> 00:29:38.521 celebrated international model Kate Moss... 00:29:38.960 --> 00:29:43.488 fell or was pushed from a balcony into the Thames. 00:29:43.880 --> 00:29:46.042 Since then, emergency services have been 00:29:46.120 --> 00:29:48.521 struggling to cope with the aftermath. 00:29:48.640 --> 00:29:50.688 (SCREAMING) 00:29:50.920 --> 00:29:52.445 (SOBBING) 00:29:52.560 --> 00:29:54.324 (WOMAN SCREAMS) 00:29:54.880 --> 00:29:56.564 (SOBBING) It's my little toe. 00:29:56.640 --> 00:29:57.641 She fell off her shoe. 00:29:58.640 --> 00:30:00.085 Looking for Kate! 00:30:00.200 --> 00:30:03.568 Get back. One more dance. Baby, please. 00:30:04.040 --> 00:30:07.010 I'm okay. I didn't fall in the river. 00:30:07.080 --> 00:30:08.081 (WOMAN WAILING) 00:30:08.400 --> 00:30:09.686 (SIRENS IN DISTANCE) 00:30:37.400 --> 00:30:38.481 (DOOR OPENING) 00:30:42.040 --> 00:30:43.087 (DOOR SHUTS) 00:30:44.200 --> 00:30:45.690 Shut up! You shut up! 00:30:48.080 --> 00:30:50.287 How bad can this be? I mean, you know. 00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:53.245 You have probably killed Kate Moss. 00:30:55.240 --> 00:30:56.480 Shit. 00:30:58.120 --> 00:30:59.451 Spoilt your night out? 00:31:00.360 --> 00:31:01.441 That doesn't matter. 00:31:02.280 --> 00:31:03.441 I shouldn't have let you go. 00:31:03.520 --> 00:31:05.363 I don't know what I was thinking. 00:31:06.120 --> 00:31:07.610 She'll be all right, won't she? 00:31:08.120 --> 00:31:10.282 Kate, she's waterproof. 00:31:10.360 --> 00:31:13.125 That's what we always say about Kate, she's waterproof. 00:31:13.960 --> 00:31:15.371 I demand to see your superior! 00:31:15.600 --> 00:31:17.250 That would be me. Nick? 00:31:17.440 --> 00:31:18.680 This is Detective Inspector Nick... 00:31:18.760 --> 00:31:19.966 We know each other, thank you. 00:31:20.040 --> 00:31:21.041 God. 00:31:21.280 --> 00:31:22.281 Don't. 00:31:23.480 --> 00:31:26.324 Hello, hello? Have they found Kate? 00:31:26.520 --> 00:31:28.284 No. The currents are very strong. 00:31:28.360 --> 00:31:29.521 Only an outside chance... 00:31:29.960 --> 00:31:32.042 Thank you. She will either have drowned 00:31:32.160 --> 00:31:34.970 or just be very, very wet. 00:31:35.960 --> 00:31:37.086 In the meantime, 00:31:37.160 --> 00:31:38.525 you're here for your own safety. 00:31:38.720 --> 00:31:41.610 There's a very well-coordinated lynch mob outside. 00:31:42.600 --> 00:31:43.601 What happens now? 00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:45.650 This doesn't change anything between us. 00:31:46.160 --> 00:31:47.491 No, about this. 00:31:48.160 --> 00:31:50.049 Oh. I have witnesses 00:31:50.120 --> 00:31:52.600 to say that your mother pushed her. 00:31:54.000 --> 00:31:55.081 No! 00:31:55.160 --> 00:31:56.286 I didn't want her to die. 00:31:56.560 --> 00:31:58.688 She needed her. Loved her! 00:31:59.080 --> 00:32:00.206 We don't know that she's dead yet. 00:32:00.280 --> 00:32:01.566 Or that it's murder. 00:32:02.280 --> 00:32:04.169 Murder? Thank you. 00:32:05.880 --> 00:32:07.166 Manslaughter charges might be brought. 00:32:08.080 --> 00:32:10.162 Sorry. 00:32:13.080 --> 00:32:14.081 (SIGHS) 00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:18.440 Oh, God. 00:32:22.280 --> 00:32:23.520 (TEETH SQUEAKING) 00:32:30.320 --> 00:32:32.368 Police continue to search the Thames 00:32:32.440 --> 00:32:34.568 after fashion icon Kate Moss.... 00:32:35.040 --> 00:32:36.610 fell from a balcony. 00:32:36.720 --> 00:32:38.449 (OVERLAPPING NEWS REPORTS) 00:32:40.440 --> 00:32:43.603 There is a real sense of devastation. Local people... 00:32:43.800 --> 00:32:47.122 friends, eyewitnesses are in disbelief. 00:32:47.360 --> 00:32:49.806 They are reluctant to leave the banks of the Thames 00:32:49.880 --> 00:32:52.247 while any faint hope remains... 00:32:52.480 --> 00:32:54.369 of Kate Moss being found alive. 00:32:54.600 --> 00:32:57.729 We're expecting the police to hold a news conference... 00:32:58.240 --> 00:32:59.651 to give us the latest information 00:32:59.720 --> 00:33:01.484 they have about the incident. 00:33:01.680 --> 00:33:03.409 Now back to the studio. 00:33:03.600 --> 00:33:05.170 Some breaking news... 00:33:05.240 --> 00:33:08.084 P. R. guru Edina Monsoon, the woman at the heart... 00:33:08.360 --> 00:33:10.328 of the police investigation has returned 00:33:10.400 --> 00:33:12.084 to her West London home. 00:33:12.560 --> 00:33:14.722 EDINA: Don't drive off until I'm in the house! 00:33:15.200 --> 00:33:16.770 (CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING) 00:33:17.400 --> 00:33:18.890 EDINA: Oi! Oi! 00:33:19.400 --> 00:33:21.164 (REPORTERS CLAMORING) 00:33:23.240 --> 00:33:25.766 Stop hounding me! I'm not an animal! 00:33:28.640 --> 00:33:30.529 (SOBBING) She was, like, someone 00:33:30.600 --> 00:33:32.762 that I really looked up to. 00:33:33.160 --> 00:33:34.650 She wouldn't give a fuck what we think. 00:33:34.720 --> 00:33:35.881 No! 00:33:36.280 --> 00:33:37.566 Devastated. I'm so confused. 00:33:37.760 --> 00:33:40.411 Is there really nothing else happening in the world? 00:33:40.600 --> 00:33:41.647 Fashion is dead. 00:33:44.840 --> 00:33:47.161 Oh! Oh! 00:33:48.120 --> 00:33:49.406 OMG. What, darling? 00:33:49.720 --> 00:33:50.767 (GASPING) You're trending on Twitter. 00:33:50.880 --> 00:33:51.881 Am I? 00:33:52.120 --> 00:33:53.645 You're a hashtag. 00:33:53.760 --> 00:33:55.603 (GASPS) Oh. Oh! 00:33:56.280 --> 00:33:58.203 (CHUCKLES) Oh, no. 00:33:58.280 --> 00:34:00.123 Oh, no, this is horrible. 00:34:00.680 --> 00:34:02.409 Disgusting. 00:34:02.640 --> 00:34:04.642 Oh, they hate you! 00:34:04.760 --> 00:34:06.330 Who? Who? 00:34:06.480 --> 00:34:07.766 Oh, there she is. 00:34:08.120 --> 00:34:09.690 Here she is. 00:34:10.280 --> 00:34:11.805 The fat woman! 00:34:12.440 --> 00:34:14.124 Yeah, just do the toes. (CHUCKLING) 00:34:15.560 --> 00:34:17.324 Your fat little toes? 00:34:17.560 --> 00:34:20.450 The fat little celebrity toes? 00:34:20.680 --> 00:34:23.160 Yeah, yeah. Right. 00:34:24.160 --> 00:34:26.811 Fat woman kills thin woman. 00:34:27.240 --> 00:34:29.242 You don't know anything! It was an accident! 00:34:29.440 --> 00:34:32.444 Nothing about you is an accident. 00:34:32.840 --> 00:34:34.330 May I suggest... 00:34:36.560 --> 00:34:37.561 Fat Pink? 00:34:37.640 --> 00:34:38.687 (SIGHS) 00:34:39.560 --> 00:34:40.561 What are you doing? 00:34:40.720 --> 00:34:41.721 Oh, here we go. 00:34:41.800 --> 00:34:42.767 (CLEARS THROAT) 00:34:42.840 --> 00:34:44.842 This is my therapy, sweetheart. 00:34:45.240 --> 00:34:48.449 When are you going to just for one moment... 00:34:48.760 --> 00:34:51.730 take in the enormity of what has happened? 00:34:52.360 --> 00:34:54.840 When are you going to stop rolling through life, 00:34:54.920 --> 00:34:57.161 wanting more and more? 00:34:57.480 --> 00:35:00.484 Look at this house. Nobody needs a house this big. 00:35:00.680 --> 00:35:01.841 I do. 00:35:02.360 --> 00:35:05.489 You see? Even your house is fat. 00:35:05.720 --> 00:35:06.721 I'm on a diet. 00:35:06.920 --> 00:35:09.651 You're always on a diet, Mum, but you're always fat. 00:35:09.720 --> 00:35:10.721 Mmm-hmm. 00:35:10.800 --> 00:35:12.450 Because you never stop eating! 00:35:12.520 --> 00:35:13.521 Mmm-hmm. 00:35:14.360 --> 00:35:15.691 Now will you please... 00:35:16.200 --> 00:35:19.886 just stop for one second and look at what you've done? 00:35:20.360 --> 00:35:21.646 Yes. 00:35:26.000 --> 00:35:29.004 Oh, I love that girl. 00:35:29.240 --> 00:35:30.241 (GRUNTING) 00:35:33.880 --> 00:35:36.406 Your death threats, m'lady. 00:35:36.920 --> 00:35:42.404 Like a bird on the wire 00:35:44.160 --> 00:35:48.563 Like a drunk in a midnight choir 00:35:49.400 --> 00:35:51.402 Everybody bloody hates you! 00:35:51.560 --> 00:35:53.324 Stupid bloody drunk! 00:35:53.520 --> 00:35:55.409 You mucky bitch. 00:35:56.000 --> 00:35:57.889 You filthy scunner! 00:35:59.000 --> 00:36:01.002 You make me sick. 00:36:01.360 --> 00:36:05.331 Like a worm on a hook 00:36:06.320 --> 00:36:08.084 I'm innocent. 00:36:08.240 --> 00:36:11.005 Patsy Stone. But I am innocent. 00:36:11.240 --> 00:36:13.641 Excuse me, guys. I'm the victim here. 00:36:13.920 --> 00:36:15.570 I'm Patsy Stone, but I am innocent. 00:36:16.600 --> 00:36:18.284 MAN: That's it, Patsy, lovely. Thank you, darling. 00:36:19.920 --> 00:36:21.081 (INDISTICT CLAMORING) 00:36:21.440 --> 00:36:22.441 Thanks. 00:36:23.000 --> 00:36:24.001 Thursday. 00:36:39.560 --> 00:36:41.130 Can you please shut up, darling? 00:36:41.200 --> 00:36:42.565 I'm trying to do my Mindlessness. 00:36:45.120 --> 00:36:46.645 I'm being trollied on Twitter. 00:36:47.400 --> 00:36:48.401 Oh. 00:36:48.480 --> 00:36:50.608 Everybody hates me. 00:36:52.040 --> 00:36:55.249 When I was coming in earlier, a woman screamed at me. 00:36:55.600 --> 00:36:57.045 What did she say? 00:36:57.240 --> 00:36:59.402 She told me I was a pariah. 00:37:00.160 --> 00:37:02.481 Do you know what a pariah is? 00:37:04.280 --> 00:37:05.964 It's a fish. 00:37:08.200 --> 00:37:09.486 That's right. (DOOR OPENS) 00:37:10.480 --> 00:37:12.687 Flash, flash, flash. Flash for Patsy. 00:37:13.000 --> 00:37:15.082 Patsy, flash, flash, flash. 00:37:15.320 --> 00:37:16.481 Ugh, Eddy. 00:37:18.640 --> 00:37:20.085 You killed Kate Moss! 00:37:20.160 --> 00:37:22.288 I've lost my job because of you! 00:37:22.600 --> 00:37:25.080 And now I am nothing as well. 00:37:25.600 --> 00:37:26.931 (GLASS SHATTERS) 00:37:37.320 --> 00:37:39.607 It's from Stella McCartney. 00:37:48.360 --> 00:37:50.328 (SIGHS AND SOBS) 00:37:54.520 --> 00:37:55.521 (GRUNTS) 00:37:57.080 --> 00:37:59.003 How many "Om's" have I given you? 00:37:59.080 --> 00:38:01.082 How much money? 00:38:01.280 --> 00:38:03.044 Where is my enlightenment? 00:38:03.200 --> 00:38:04.690 Where is my nirvana, 00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:08.083 you stupid, blue, buggering Buddha! 00:38:13.960 --> 00:38:15.121 (SIGHS) 00:38:16.400 --> 00:38:18.209 (CHANTING) Om... 00:38:20.400 --> 00:38:22.129 Om... 00:38:22.600 --> 00:38:25.001 Ba-ding-ding-ding-ding, cha... 00:38:25.480 --> 00:38:27.642 (CONTINUES CHANTING) Om... 00:38:28.640 --> 00:38:32.008 Ba-ring-ding-ding- ding-ding-cha... 00:38:32.720 --> 00:38:34.529 Om... 00:38:38.120 --> 00:38:40.122 (SIGHS) Oh. 00:38:48.680 --> 00:38:50.682 Sorry you lost your job, darling. 00:38:51.520 --> 00:38:52.681 You're not nothing. 00:38:54.000 --> 00:38:55.331 Cheers, thanks a lot. 00:39:00.320 --> 00:39:02.561 It's the first thing I've ever had from Stella. 00:39:03.000 --> 00:39:04.081 Oh, Eddy. 00:39:04.240 --> 00:39:07.164 So the little scrap drowned. People will forget that. 00:39:07.280 --> 00:39:09.123 They've forgotten a lot worse. 00:39:09.360 --> 00:39:11.601 I mean, look at lovely Hugh. 00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:14.446 He unzipped his chinos for a prossie blowjob 00:39:14.520 --> 00:39:15.601 and we forgave him. 00:39:16.600 --> 00:39:19.683 In fact, I think we loved him a little bit more after that. 00:39:19.760 --> 00:39:21.330 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 00:39:21.880 --> 00:39:23.769 She's probably popped up somewhere, hasn't she? 00:39:24.040 --> 00:39:26.042 Confused and shivering. 00:39:26.240 --> 00:39:30.802 Poor little tiny wet Katie, flapping about in the mud. 00:39:31.160 --> 00:39:33.447 Washed up on the Isle of Dogs. 00:39:36.440 --> 00:39:37.726 I mean, Eddy... 00:39:38.720 --> 00:39:40.449 things float. 00:39:40.520 --> 00:39:41.521 Yeah. 00:39:41.720 --> 00:39:45.327 Yeah, things drift, and they float. 00:39:45.520 --> 00:39:48.330 Why don't those idiots float something down the river? 00:39:49.400 --> 00:39:50.401 Eddy... 00:39:51.200 --> 00:39:53.726 if you want something done, you've got to do it yourself. 00:39:54.480 --> 00:39:55.641 Yeah. 00:40:02.320 --> 00:40:04.641 It's the right place and the right time. 00:40:05.200 --> 00:40:07.202 What for? Shut up. 00:40:12.760 --> 00:40:13.761 Are you ready, Pats? 00:40:15.200 --> 00:40:16.201 Ready, Eddy. Ready for what? 00:40:16.720 --> 00:40:17.721 Ah. 00:40:20.560 --> 00:40:22.324 EDINA: Go, drift. (GIGGLES) 00:40:29.200 --> 00:40:30.531 Bubble? 00:40:30.840 --> 00:40:31.841 Bubble! 00:40:32.520 --> 00:40:34.682 Where is she, Ed? I don't know. Bubble? 00:40:34.840 --> 00:40:36.330 She swims too fast. 00:40:36.440 --> 00:40:38.647 There she is. Go forward! What is she doing? 00:40:38.840 --> 00:40:39.841 Bubble! 00:40:40.160 --> 00:40:41.286 Fish her out, the little insect. 00:40:41.360 --> 00:40:42.441 Bubble! 00:40:43.520 --> 00:40:44.521 (GASPS) 00:40:47.240 --> 00:40:48.526 Bubble? 00:40:48.680 --> 00:40:50.648 Darling, she fell off. 00:40:51.640 --> 00:40:52.801 Eddy. 00:40:53.240 --> 00:40:54.571 It's okay, no one saw. 00:40:54.800 --> 00:40:56.370 But, Eddy, they'll find her! 00:40:56.440 --> 00:40:58.681 Then just go, go, go! 00:41:01.120 --> 00:41:03.361 Go, darling, go, go, go. 00:41:11.120 --> 00:41:12.645 Oh, that's great, isn't it? 00:41:12.720 --> 00:41:14.370 Now I've killed two people! 00:41:14.440 --> 00:41:15.441 Oh! 00:41:15.560 --> 00:41:16.561 Come on! 00:41:17.160 --> 00:41:19.288 Eddy, we've got to get away. We've got to go now. 00:41:19.560 --> 00:41:21.324 But where? I can't leave the country. 00:41:21.400 --> 00:41:23.402 I'm a marked woman. 00:41:23.800 --> 00:41:25.564 We could go north. North? 00:41:25.800 --> 00:41:27.290 What, south? 00:41:27.400 --> 00:41:29.084 You know what we need. 00:41:29.200 --> 00:41:30.850 We need money. 00:41:32.200 --> 00:41:33.486 (BOTH PANTING) 00:41:34.560 --> 00:41:36.847 Darling, darling. Listen. 00:41:37.840 --> 00:41:40.207 When this is actually over, 00:41:40.280 --> 00:41:42.851 and it will actually be over one day, darling... 00:41:43.600 --> 00:41:46.604 will you please just remind me... 00:41:47.520 --> 00:41:50.603 to go back for the boots I just saw in Westwood window. 00:41:55.720 --> 00:41:56.846 (SIGHS) Eddy? 00:41:57.600 --> 00:41:58.886 What is this? 00:41:58.960 --> 00:42:00.849 Darling, it's a onesie. 00:42:00.920 --> 00:42:02.251 Mmm-hmm. 00:42:03.200 --> 00:42:04.725 I've got some pills. 00:42:05.200 --> 00:42:06.531 Pills, pills, pills. 00:42:06.840 --> 00:42:09.320 I've got some little blue ones, little pink ones. 00:42:09.600 --> 00:42:11.648 That little blue one. What's that? 00:42:12.320 --> 00:42:13.321 It's a button. 00:42:13.520 --> 00:42:15.522 (BOTH LAUGHING) 00:42:18.400 --> 00:42:21.290 Maybe I should just resign myself to my fate, darling. 00:42:22.640 --> 00:42:25.564 I mean, I can't redecorate my way out of this one, can I? 00:42:25.640 --> 00:42:27.642 (GUNSHOT) WOMAN: You bitch! 00:42:28.760 --> 00:42:30.524 Eddy, we've got to escape. 00:42:30.600 --> 00:42:32.364 We've got to get out of the country. 00:42:32.560 --> 00:42:33.891 I have no money. 00:42:33.960 --> 00:42:36.440 Why didn't you marry some of those rich men you slept with? 00:42:36.640 --> 00:42:37.641 That wasn't the point. 00:42:38.240 --> 00:42:39.526 There must be someone. 00:42:39.600 --> 00:42:41.489 There must be someone, darling. 00:42:41.760 --> 00:42:45.321 Think. We've got to make a serious plan. Think! 00:42:49.480 --> 00:42:50.891 We could try a bong. 00:42:51.000 --> 00:42:52.365 I've got a bong. 00:42:52.680 --> 00:42:54.364 (BOTH LAUGHING) 00:42:59.680 --> 00:43:02.809 Everyone used to die young in old cavemen historical times. 00:43:02.880 --> 00:43:04.689 They didn't reach the age of 30. 00:43:04.840 --> 00:43:07.844 That's why now, everyone young just wants to go so fast. 00:43:08.240 --> 00:43:10.402 But at our age, you're lost, because... 00:43:11.480 --> 00:43:12.720 we should all be dead. 00:43:12.920 --> 00:43:15.526 Shouldn't we, darling? No, Eddy, no. 00:43:16.000 --> 00:43:17.490 It's very good to die young. 00:43:17.680 --> 00:43:19.921 It is good to go young. 00:43:20.560 --> 00:43:21.561 Yeah. 00:43:22.520 --> 00:43:24.727 (YELPING) 00:43:25.400 --> 00:43:27.289 Oh, no, it's ash. 00:43:27.680 --> 00:43:30.365 (EXHALING) (SNORTING) 00:43:30.680 --> 00:43:32.523 Oh. (SNORTS) 00:43:32.600 --> 00:43:33.761 Oh... 00:43:33.880 --> 00:43:34.961 Eddy, there was Charlie. 00:43:35.360 --> 00:43:36.441 Who's Charlie? 00:43:36.520 --> 00:43:39.285 Charlie Douglas. He had an enormous yacht. 00:43:42.280 --> 00:43:43.281 (BOTH MOANING) 00:43:43.400 --> 00:43:44.731 Ah, he never married. 00:43:44.880 --> 00:43:47.042 He said I was the only girl he would ever marry. 00:43:47.320 --> 00:43:48.970 He said he would wait for me. 00:43:49.400 --> 00:43:50.890 Oh... We had some good times. 00:43:50.960 --> 00:43:52.962 We had good times and he was rich! 00:43:54.240 --> 00:43:55.241 He was very rich! 00:43:58.840 --> 00:44:00.330 Eddy? Yeah. 00:44:00.560 --> 00:44:02.961 Saffy's little birth blob has money. 00:44:05.440 --> 00:44:09.001 Darling. We need Lola. We need to take Lola. 00:44:09.080 --> 00:44:10.320 (CHUCKLING) 00:44:10.400 --> 00:44:11.640 Yeah, we need Lola. 00:44:11.840 --> 00:44:14.571 LOLA: I can hear everything you're saying, you know. 00:44:15.600 --> 00:44:16.840 Everything. 00:44:16.920 --> 00:44:19.491 Are you looking for my money so you can go find Charlie? 00:44:19.560 --> 00:44:22.006 No, no, no, darling. No, no. 00:44:22.440 --> 00:44:25.330 Yes! Give us your credit cards and you won't get hurt! 00:44:25.520 --> 00:44:26.521 Why should I? 00:44:26.760 --> 00:44:27.807 Oh. Oh... 00:44:27.880 --> 00:44:31.327 Because, darling, now you listen to me, all right? 00:44:31.600 --> 00:44:33.329 I've messed up, I know that, 00:44:33.440 --> 00:44:35.488 but that will happen to anybody... 00:44:35.760 --> 00:44:36.886 who really lives life, 00:44:36.960 --> 00:44:39.770 who really lives life, darling. 00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:42.367 And I now know who my friends are. 00:44:42.480 --> 00:44:45.450 Husbands, they come and go, but my friend has stayed. 00:44:46.600 --> 00:44:47.601 Why does she stay? 00:44:48.600 --> 00:44:50.045 Because it's bloody good fun. 00:44:50.760 --> 00:44:51.886 We have fun. 00:44:52.360 --> 00:44:54.931 Good fun, darling. And you know what? 00:44:55.360 --> 00:44:59.046 There's so many great times out there waiting for us. 00:44:59.480 --> 00:45:01.482 And I don't want to miss them. 00:45:01.680 --> 00:45:03.045 We don't want to miss them, do we? 00:45:03.120 --> 00:45:04.963 Or would you rather stay here? 00:45:05.360 --> 00:45:08.364 You know, with Mum. (CHUCKLES) Dull old Mum. 00:45:09.360 --> 00:45:11.362 Or come with us, sweetheart. 00:45:11.920 --> 00:45:14.651 Come with us. For fun. 00:45:16.800 --> 00:45:18.450 Fine. (BOTH GASP) 00:45:18.720 --> 00:45:20.006 You'll need more than the card. 00:45:20.080 --> 00:45:22.845 We can't just walk out of the house in broad daylight. 00:45:23.040 --> 00:45:26.647 Yeah, of course. We need help. More help. 00:45:26.840 --> 00:45:28.729 Who else would be stupid enough to help you two? 00:45:28.800 --> 00:45:29.801 EDINA: Huh. 00:45:30.600 --> 00:45:32.602 Oh. (GASPS) 00:45:35.160 --> 00:45:37.481 So what is Patsy's plan? 00:45:37.720 --> 00:45:38.881 Just do what I do. 00:45:39.080 --> 00:45:42.084 We sneak into the house looking perfectly normal. 00:45:42.400 --> 00:45:44.767 It'll be a nightmare with all the paparazzi. 00:45:45.520 --> 00:45:48.330 Excuse me! No! No photographs! 00:45:48.840 --> 00:45:50.842 No one's taking any photos. 00:45:50.920 --> 00:45:52.888 It's as if they didn't know who we are. 00:45:52.960 --> 00:45:54.962 Missed a perfect opportunity. Get in. 00:45:55.440 --> 00:45:56.851 No photos, no photos. 00:45:57.080 --> 00:45:58.570 Come on, dear. 00:45:59.440 --> 00:46:01.363 Police are urging the crowd to move on. 00:46:01.560 --> 00:46:03.847 The flowers, offerings of Hunter Wellingtons... 00:46:04.000 --> 00:46:06.207 and bottles of Sauvignon Blanc 00:46:06.440 --> 00:46:07.885 are proving a hazard to shipping. 00:46:08.080 --> 00:46:10.447 Oh, for God's sake, turn it off. 00:46:11.560 --> 00:46:15.849 We can't, darling. We're drunk and have eaten too many drugs. 00:46:16.120 --> 00:46:17.770 As per usual. 00:46:21.560 --> 00:46:22.686 Where's Mum? 00:46:23.080 --> 00:46:24.969 (EDINA SPEAKING GIBBERISH) 00:46:26.560 --> 00:46:27.891 What has happened to Kate Moss? 00:46:27.960 --> 00:46:31.123 Where is she? What in the world is going on? 00:46:31.200 --> 00:46:33.851 (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) 00:46:35.760 --> 00:46:37.171 (SPEAKING JAPANESE) 00:46:39.480 --> 00:46:41.482 Quick, quick. Almost there. 00:46:42.000 --> 00:46:44.731 Get into this taxi where we're going nowhere. 00:46:44.920 --> 00:46:45.921 What took you so long? 00:46:46.120 --> 00:46:47.246 PATSY: Hurry up, Fleur. 00:46:47.400 --> 00:46:48.481 It's these bloody shoes. 00:46:48.680 --> 00:46:50.045 All right, taxi, drive. 00:46:50.480 --> 00:46:51.720 Drive, drive! 00:46:51.840 --> 00:46:53.251 (SHOW THEME PLAYING) 00:46:53.880 --> 00:46:54.961 Welcome back. 00:46:55.080 --> 00:46:58.163 So, Lily, can you tell us how you're feeling about Kate? 00:46:58.600 --> 00:47:00.125 Well... Put it into words. 00:47:00.920 --> 00:47:02.604 Well, I... Sad. 00:47:02.920 --> 00:47:04.684 I didn't actually know her that well. 00:47:04.800 --> 00:47:06.609 You're devastated. 00:47:06.920 --> 00:47:07.921 I... 00:47:08.000 --> 00:47:10.480 Heartbroken. Thank you so much. 00:47:10.760 --> 00:47:13.764 Your feelings are shared by a nation still in shock. 00:47:14.480 --> 00:47:16.608 (THEME PLAYS) 00:47:18.600 --> 00:47:20.523 How's your mother holding up? 00:47:21.640 --> 00:47:24.166 It seems to be taking its toll... facially. 00:47:25.640 --> 00:47:27.165 I'm going to wake Lola up. 00:47:27.280 --> 00:47:28.930 I can't believe she slept this long. 00:47:29.040 --> 00:47:30.963 Let her sleep. She's a grownup. 00:47:31.200 --> 00:47:33.043 She's thirteen. 00:47:36.680 --> 00:47:37.681 (SHRIEKS) 00:47:44.080 --> 00:47:46.651 I want you to know something. 00:47:48.800 --> 00:47:51.087 I'm sorry I went out that night. 00:47:53.960 --> 00:47:55.086 I, uh... 00:47:57.080 --> 00:47:59.082 should have stayed with you. 00:48:00.080 --> 00:48:04.563 Then perhaps you wouldn't have got caught up in all this mess. 00:48:13.960 --> 00:48:15.564 I love you. 00:48:17.240 --> 00:48:18.651 (GASPING) 00:48:22.560 --> 00:48:26.007 Lola's gone. She's gone! She must have gone with them! 00:48:27.680 --> 00:48:29.250 Tell me where they've gone. 00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:31.525 Tell me! 00:48:31.640 --> 00:48:33.244 Whoa, whoa. Calm down. 00:48:33.720 --> 00:48:34.846 Where have they gone? 00:48:35.040 --> 00:48:36.041 We don't know. 00:48:36.160 --> 00:48:37.161 We weren't told. 00:48:37.600 --> 00:48:40.251 A girl has only one confidante and mum's the word. 00:48:40.320 --> 00:48:43.722 Oh, her hairdresser, Christopher. Oh! 00:48:44.000 --> 00:48:45.240 FLEUR: Judas. 00:48:45.680 --> 00:48:46.886 I knew she spoke to him 00:48:46.960 --> 00:48:48.928 because she canceled her next appointment. 00:48:49.120 --> 00:48:50.281 Don't panic. 00:48:50.360 --> 00:48:53.125 It's only a problem if they've left the country. 00:48:57.040 --> 00:48:58.371 Welcome to Budget. 00:48:58.720 --> 00:49:01.724 Where the only tossers are our baggage handlers. 00:49:02.040 --> 00:49:03.280 How are you? Hi. 00:49:03.680 --> 00:49:04.966 Morning. Oh, shut up. 00:49:05.120 --> 00:49:06.360 Where we wing it. 00:49:06.720 --> 00:49:08.370 PILOT: Welcome on-board Budget Airlines. 00:49:08.640 --> 00:49:10.768 This is flight BD1 15 to Nice. 00:49:11.040 --> 00:49:13.361 Where is first class? Down the back? 00:49:13.720 --> 00:49:15.370 (LAUGHING) Oh... (LAUGHING) 00:49:15.760 --> 00:49:17.285 There is no first class. 00:49:17.360 --> 00:49:20.045 It's just first ass on any available seat. 00:49:20.280 --> 00:49:22.647 We are three. There's only two seats. 00:49:22.840 --> 00:49:25.844 The middle one isn't a seat, it's where you put your bag. 00:49:26.040 --> 00:49:29.328 Oh, no, they're all seats. Uh, you put your bags up top. 00:49:30.880 --> 00:49:31.881 Oh, God. 00:49:32.320 --> 00:49:33.321 Uh... 00:49:33.760 --> 00:49:37.321 I don't put the bags up. I'm the designated DNB. 00:49:39.240 --> 00:49:40.401 "Do Nothing Bitch." 00:49:44.000 --> 00:49:45.240 Thank you. WOMAN: Ow! 00:49:46.480 --> 00:49:48.084 Sandwich. Heads up. 00:49:48.320 --> 00:49:50.084 Can we get free nuts and drinks from the bitch? 00:49:50.240 --> 00:49:53.244 Oi, waitress? We want our complimentary drinks and nuts. 00:49:53.640 --> 00:49:58.089 Oh, you have to prepay for all the snacks and beverages. 00:49:58.320 --> 00:50:01.688 Just get your credit card, slip it through your slot. 00:50:01.920 --> 00:50:04.241 Uh, ma'am, you'll have to take your seat. 00:50:04.680 --> 00:50:05.920 I need a piss. 00:50:06.120 --> 00:50:07.246 It'll have to wait. 00:50:09.240 --> 00:50:10.765 I've started. 00:50:15.800 --> 00:50:18.690 I hate how you have to be nice to transgendered people now. 00:50:18.880 --> 00:50:20.769 Just reach around and get that lady's red wine. 00:50:20.840 --> 00:50:22.001 No. 00:50:22.360 --> 00:50:24.089 (ALARM BLARING) 00:50:28.760 --> 00:50:30.967 Oi! Drop the fag, hag! 00:50:31.280 --> 00:50:32.725 What is your problem? 00:50:33.240 --> 00:50:34.401 You! 00:50:34.960 --> 00:50:36.291 (SNORTING) 00:50:42.360 --> 00:50:43.771 (DISGUSTED GRUNT) 00:50:45.080 --> 00:50:49.290 (SIGHS) Cheers. Don't get that on British Airways. 00:50:54.400 --> 00:50:56.289 (FRENCH POP SONG PLAYING) 00:51:00.920 --> 00:51:02.410 (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING) 00:51:02.480 --> 00:51:03.481 EDINA: Whoo-hoo! 00:51:04.280 --> 00:51:05.281 We did it, Pats! 00:51:05.440 --> 00:51:07.408 Oh, Eddy, we did it! 00:51:07.480 --> 00:51:08.845 We're free, free! 00:51:09.160 --> 00:51:10.525 We can breathe! 00:51:10.600 --> 00:51:11.726 Breathe! 00:51:12.320 --> 00:51:14.209 We're going to join the jet set. 00:51:14.400 --> 00:51:15.401 The jet set. 00:51:15.840 --> 00:51:17.842 So you're going to marry this Charlie? 00:51:18.000 --> 00:51:19.843 She's going to marry him, 00:51:19.920 --> 00:51:21.684 then he's going to die and we'll get all the money. 00:51:21.760 --> 00:51:22.761 (LAUGHING) 00:51:22.840 --> 00:51:24.080 How old is he? 00:51:24.160 --> 00:51:25.400 Oh, he's ancient. 00:51:25.840 --> 00:51:27.524 He's old. He's like on death's door. 00:51:28.400 --> 00:51:30.129 Actually, he's the same age as me. 00:51:30.200 --> 00:51:31.486 (LAUGHS) 00:51:33.000 --> 00:51:35.002 We need more champagne, darling. 00:51:35.200 --> 00:51:36.361 No, it's nearly over its limit. 00:51:36.440 --> 00:51:37.441 What does that mean? 00:51:37.840 --> 00:51:40.366 It means we need Charlie's big bucks, darling, 00:51:40.440 --> 00:51:42.363 if we're ever going to live the dream. 00:51:42.760 --> 00:51:45.331 Oh, Eddy, the dream. The dream, darling. 00:51:45.480 --> 00:51:46.481 (PETER SARSTEDT SINGING) 00:51:46.840 --> 00:51:50.367 But where do you go to my lovely 00:51:50.760 --> 00:51:53.366 When you're alone in your bed 00:51:55.040 --> 00:51:58.044 Tell me the thoughts that surround you 00:51:58.880 --> 00:52:01.247 I want to look inside your head, yes, I do 00:52:11.360 --> 00:52:14.125 I need to buy champagne. What's that in French? 00:52:14.200 --> 00:52:16.009 Champignons, champignons. (GLASS SHATTERS) 00:52:16.120 --> 00:52:17.884 We need to get out of these clothes. 00:52:18.040 --> 00:52:19.849 It's all right, darling. No one knows us here. 00:52:19.920 --> 00:52:21.285 They're just so horrible. 00:52:22.240 --> 00:52:23.366 Oh, Eddy? 00:52:24.400 --> 00:52:26.084 Oh. 00:52:27.160 --> 00:52:28.491 Buongiorno! 00:52:30.880 --> 00:52:31.881 (SIGHS) 00:52:33.040 --> 00:52:35.281 Baby Bunton, Pats. Baby Bunton. 00:52:35.360 --> 00:52:36.361 Shit. 00:52:36.840 --> 00:52:38.365 Eddy, Eddy. 00:52:48.400 --> 00:52:49.401 (SIGHS) 00:52:49.520 --> 00:52:52.251 Why can't we go anywhere without knowing someone? 00:52:52.520 --> 00:52:54.090 She didn't see us. (SIGHS) 00:52:54.960 --> 00:52:56.849 I think I just saw Edina Monsoon. 00:52:56.920 --> 00:52:57.967 Really? 00:52:58.160 --> 00:53:01.164 Unless you've seen a mannequin that fat before. 00:53:11.280 --> 00:53:13.851 Hiya. You okay? 00:53:15.520 --> 00:53:18.410 I've put you into hot yoga after this. 00:53:18.480 --> 00:53:20.528 You do it in an actual oven. Ooh! 00:53:21.600 --> 00:53:23.329 You'd like that, wouldn't you? 00:53:23.400 --> 00:53:26.131 Just don't think about Edina Monsoon. 00:53:26.880 --> 00:53:28.245 Oh, thanks. 00:53:28.320 --> 00:53:29.321 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 00:53:30.880 --> 00:53:32.291 It's Emma Bunton. 00:53:32.560 --> 00:53:34.289 What? Emma Bunton? 00:53:36.440 --> 00:53:38.283 No. Edina? 00:53:38.560 --> 00:53:40.005 She's where? 00:53:40.200 --> 00:53:41.361 Did you call the police? 00:53:41.560 --> 00:53:43.847 Yes. And I'm going over there to make sure 00:53:43.920 --> 00:53:45.331 the police do their job! 00:53:45.480 --> 00:53:47.482 Her P.A. has a house near Cannes. 00:53:47.880 --> 00:53:50.167 Bubble has a house there? Yeah. 00:53:50.360 --> 00:53:51.646 You talked to her? 00:53:52.040 --> 00:53:54.361 Yeah. She's had a terrible time. 00:53:54.440 --> 00:53:56.568 It's been quite a saga. 00:53:57.440 --> 00:53:59.169 (METAL DETECTOR BUZZING) Nothing. 00:54:00.640 --> 00:54:02.165 (BEEPING) What's that? 00:54:05.040 --> 00:54:07.327 That's nice. eBay? 00:54:07.480 --> 00:54:08.481 BUBBLE: Oi! 00:54:09.040 --> 00:54:11.168 Oi, you! 00:54:12.480 --> 00:54:15.006 Bonjour. Bonjour. 00:54:16.040 --> 00:54:18.008 Have you been in the water long? 00:54:18.160 --> 00:54:20.606 All bloody night. Did you jump? 00:54:21.040 --> 00:54:24.362 Did I, buggery. I was pushed. 00:54:26.240 --> 00:54:29.608 Lola won't answer my calls and I've tried every number for Christopher. 00:54:29.680 --> 00:54:31.648 I'll have to look for him. 00:54:31.800 --> 00:54:33.086 At least she's with your mother. 00:54:33.760 --> 00:54:34.761 And Patsy. 00:54:35.840 --> 00:54:37.126 My daughter is with Patsy. 00:54:37.320 --> 00:54:38.401 I'll come with you. 00:54:38.680 --> 00:54:40.045 Edina must be back in 3 days for the primary hearing. 00:54:40.240 --> 00:54:43.050 I don't care about her. No, I'm sorry. 00:54:43.240 --> 00:54:45.004 Let me. No! 00:54:45.680 --> 00:54:47.250 I'm better on my own. 00:54:57.720 --> 00:54:58.926 (MUSIC PLAYING) 00:54:59.880 --> 00:55:03.248 Shoot that poison arrow to my heart, heart, heart 00:55:03.760 --> 00:55:05.364 Shoot that poison arrow to my heart 00:55:05.800 --> 00:55:07.245 Oh, hello. I know you. 00:55:07.400 --> 00:55:10.051 My mother used to bring me here as a child. 00:55:11.160 --> 00:55:14.448 Shoot that poison arrow to my heart, heart, heart 00:55:15.080 --> 00:55:16.730 Shoot that poison arrow 00:55:18.880 --> 00:55:20.928 Shoot that poison arrow 00:55:23.840 --> 00:55:26.969 Christopher, I know you're here. I just saw you. 00:55:27.240 --> 00:55:28.890 (ALL BOOING) 00:55:29.720 --> 00:55:31.768 My daughter's gone missing 00:55:31.840 --> 00:55:33.365 and I think you know where she's gone. 00:55:33.760 --> 00:55:35.250 Clear off, you little wet wipe! 00:55:38.080 --> 00:55:39.844 Just sing something. 00:55:39.920 --> 00:55:42.082 That'll quieten them down. 00:55:42.840 --> 00:55:45.081 Get off, you little bitch troll! 00:55:49.840 --> 00:55:52.081 I learned the truth at seventeen 00:55:52.360 --> 00:55:55.807 That love was meant for beauty queens 00:55:56.760 --> 00:56:00.048 And high school girls with clear-skinned smiles 00:56:00.360 --> 00:56:03.887 Who married young and then retired 00:56:07.320 --> 00:56:11.245 And those of us with ravaged faces 00:56:12.080 --> 00:56:14.970 Lacking in the social graces 00:56:15.320 --> 00:56:18.767 Desperately remained at home 00:56:18.960 --> 00:56:22.123 lnventing lovers on the phone 00:56:22.800 --> 00:56:26.122 Who called to say "Come dance with me" 00:56:27.400 --> 00:56:30.483 And murmured vague obscenities 00:56:31.400 --> 00:56:35.962 It isn't all it seems at seventeen 00:56:37.000 --> 00:56:38.081 (INAUDIBLE) 00:56:40.440 --> 00:56:42.124 LOLA: So who is this Charles? 00:56:42.320 --> 00:56:44.448 Oh, just an old scrotum Patsy knows. 00:56:44.520 --> 00:56:45.931 More money than marbles. 00:56:46.160 --> 00:56:48.049 Charles was rather superb, actually. 00:56:48.240 --> 00:56:51.244 Back when the South of France was really something... 00:56:51.440 --> 00:56:52.771 God created woman 00:56:52.840 --> 00:56:54.922 and Brigitte Bardot was just out of nappies. 00:56:55.120 --> 00:56:57.122 She's back in 'em now. 00:56:57.320 --> 00:56:59.322 What did Charles do? Films. 00:56:59.520 --> 00:57:02.000 What kind? Art films. 00:57:05.400 --> 00:57:06.561 Oh, porn! 00:57:06.840 --> 00:57:07.841 (GASPS) 00:57:08.920 --> 00:57:10.490 Well, no. For connoisseurs... 00:57:10.840 --> 00:57:11.921 Gentlemen. 00:57:12.040 --> 00:57:13.121 Gentlesseurs. 00:57:13.360 --> 00:57:14.327 If you don't find him? 00:57:14.400 --> 00:57:15.925 This is my old hunting ground. 00:57:16.160 --> 00:57:18.162 Plenty of prey out there. 00:57:18.360 --> 00:57:20.283 And they won't need beaters to flush 'em out 00:57:20.360 --> 00:57:22.442 once they sniff me up the Croisette. 00:57:22.520 --> 00:57:23.885 (BOTH LAUGHING) 00:57:24.400 --> 00:57:27.165 So the plan is, we start at Violet's party, right? 00:57:27.360 --> 00:57:29.089 The old guys will be there. 00:57:29.280 --> 00:57:30.406 My mother doesn't know anything 00:57:30.480 --> 00:57:31.891 and Violet won't care. 00:57:32.000 --> 00:57:33.889 In the South of France, everyone's a criminal! 00:57:33.960 --> 00:57:35.007 (BOTH LAUGHING) 00:57:35.080 --> 00:57:36.206 Plenty of cleavage, Eddy. 00:57:36.400 --> 00:57:37.447 Yes, darling. I'm wearing this. 00:57:37.520 --> 00:57:38.885 But not those shoes. 00:57:39.080 --> 00:57:40.889 Those shoes, darling. Not those shoes. 00:57:41.160 --> 00:57:42.207 But I like these shoes. 00:57:42.360 --> 00:57:43.407 They make you hobble. 00:57:43.840 --> 00:57:47.401 I'm wearing them anyway. I have thin ankles. 00:57:48.400 --> 00:57:52.086 ALL: We all play the game and when we dare 00:57:52.480 --> 00:57:56.007 We cheat ourselves at solitaire 00:57:56.360 --> 00:57:59.284 lnventing lovers on the phone 00:57:59.840 --> 00:58:00.807 Oh, my God. 00:58:00.880 --> 00:58:03.008 What that woman has done to you. 00:58:04.120 --> 00:58:05.121 You have to tell me where she is. 00:58:05.200 --> 00:58:06.201 Do you know? 00:58:07.000 --> 00:58:09.128 Cannes. Cannes in France. Thank you. 00:58:09.440 --> 00:58:10.441 And, hey. 00:58:11.240 --> 00:58:12.241 Make your own kind of music. 00:58:14.320 --> 00:58:15.321 (ALL CHEERING) 00:58:20.360 --> 00:58:21.361 Merci. 00:58:21.440 --> 00:58:23.124 You're very lucky at this. 00:58:23.320 --> 00:58:24.560 No, not luck. 00:58:24.640 --> 00:58:27.086 It's just that I play a bad hand well. 00:58:27.240 --> 00:58:28.890 Don't we all? 00:58:29.120 --> 00:58:30.531 Keep behind us. 00:58:30.600 --> 00:58:32.090 Stay behind. Don't come with us. 00:58:32.240 --> 00:58:33.526 This is it, Eddy. 00:58:33.600 --> 00:58:35.090 (HUMMING) 00:58:35.160 --> 00:58:37.242 I'm looking good, I'm looking... 00:58:39.600 --> 00:58:42.285 Oh, Eddy, look how young we are. 00:58:43.040 --> 00:58:44.565 EDINA: Look at the sad shoes. 00:58:44.920 --> 00:58:46.331 It's all leopard print and liver spots. 00:58:46.400 --> 00:58:47.970 It's like old age camouflage. 00:58:48.160 --> 00:58:50.049 I smell formaldehyde. (CHUCKLES) 00:58:50.240 --> 00:58:52.242 What on earth are you doing here? 00:58:52.440 --> 00:58:53.566 Mrs. M. 00:58:53.960 --> 00:58:55.371 Just looking for the party. 00:58:55.560 --> 00:58:56.561 Well, this is it. 00:58:57.640 --> 00:58:59.005 Yoo-hoo! 00:58:59.280 --> 00:59:00.566 PATSY: Christ, is that Violet? 00:59:00.960 --> 00:59:03.247 What is this, some late-life lesbo party? 00:59:03.320 --> 00:59:04.481 Where are the men? 00:59:04.920 --> 00:59:06.285 They're on the terrace, dear. 00:59:06.600 --> 00:59:10.047 We have to make do with cards and a little dancing. 00:59:11.040 --> 00:59:12.610 It's quite nice, actually. 00:59:14.160 --> 00:59:16.401 Terrace, terrace, terrace. 00:59:16.480 --> 00:59:17.527 Yeah. Yeah. 00:59:17.600 --> 00:59:21.321 You stay here with the old ones. We're off. 00:59:21.920 --> 00:59:24.491 Ooh, look, Pats, not hobbling, not hobbling. 00:59:25.640 --> 00:59:27.483 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 00:59:32.160 --> 00:59:34.083 Ah, this is more like it, Eds. 00:59:34.280 --> 00:59:36.248 This is our kind of party, darling. 00:59:36.320 --> 00:59:38.288 We fit in here. 00:59:39.000 --> 00:59:40.286 Hey, Monty. How's things? 00:59:40.480 --> 00:59:42.642 No ex-wives allowed here. 00:59:43.080 --> 00:59:45.082 You need some help, old ladies? 00:59:45.160 --> 00:59:46.241 (WOMAN GIGGLES) 00:59:46.960 --> 00:59:49.088 The place is full of weird babies. 00:59:49.280 --> 00:59:51.169 Little stretched fetus faces. 00:59:51.320 --> 00:59:52.560 Patsy! 00:59:52.960 --> 00:59:53.961 (CHUCKLING) Patsy! 00:59:54.520 --> 00:59:56.648 It's Charlie. Stay here. Jesus. 00:59:57.440 --> 01:00:00.091 My God! I'd know those tits anywhere! 01:00:00.360 --> 01:00:01.646 Patsy! 01:00:03.120 --> 01:00:05.248 Oh, Charles, darling. 01:00:05.400 --> 01:00:06.447 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 01:00:06.520 --> 01:00:08.363 What are you doing here, Patricia? 01:00:08.560 --> 01:00:10.562 Charles, darling, looking for you. 01:00:10.720 --> 01:00:12.165 (CHUCKLES) Oh. 01:00:13.000 --> 01:00:14.331 Still got the yacht, Charlie? 01:00:15.000 --> 01:00:16.240 I've got a big one. 01:00:16.640 --> 01:00:18.005 The trouble is the girls 01:00:18.080 --> 01:00:20.321 all want their own cabins these days. 01:00:21.040 --> 01:00:24.010 Oh, Charlie, do you remember the old days? 01:00:24.520 --> 01:00:28.570 You... Fiona and that Kristel wench. 01:00:28.720 --> 01:00:31.041 No, Charlie. I meant us. 01:00:32.120 --> 01:00:34.566 Black Emanuelle meets Hitler. 01:00:35.120 --> 01:00:37.248 I loved that film! (LAUGHS) 01:00:38.680 --> 01:00:40.444 Do you remember waking up together 01:00:40.520 --> 01:00:42.682 in hot, sweet Saint-Tropez? 01:00:43.040 --> 01:00:46.681 Walking across the duckboards down to the fairy blue sea? 01:00:47.080 --> 01:00:48.923 Oh, I miss those times. 01:00:49.680 --> 01:00:51.250 So do I, Charlie. 01:00:51.400 --> 01:00:53.402 But you know what I really miss? 01:00:53.600 --> 01:00:55.090 Yes, Charles. 01:00:56.160 --> 01:00:57.321 Pubic hair. 01:00:57.400 --> 01:00:58.561 I'm sick of those Brazilians... 01:00:59.040 --> 01:01:02.567 those Hollywoods. So bald, so boring. 01:01:03.080 --> 01:01:05.242 I had a full beard in those days. 01:01:05.400 --> 01:01:08.404 But I suppose you are what you eat. 01:01:08.600 --> 01:01:09.647 (CHORTLES) 01:01:09.720 --> 01:01:12.246 But Charlie, Charlie, look at me. 01:01:12.400 --> 01:01:16.291 Remember you said you would only ever marry me? 01:01:16.520 --> 01:01:17.760 Uh, I might have said that. 01:01:18.160 --> 01:01:20.322 Well, Charles, I'm ready. 01:01:21.080 --> 01:01:22.764 My answer is yes. 01:01:23.440 --> 01:01:25.647 Steady on, Patsy, steady on. 01:01:26.720 --> 01:01:29.451 As you can see, we're very well catered for here. 01:01:30.120 --> 01:01:31.246 (LAUGHS) 01:01:31.320 --> 01:01:34.324 Charlie, you always said I was the one. 01:01:35.200 --> 01:01:37.441 I think he's tired of you now. 01:01:37.720 --> 01:01:40.610 Isn't she terrific looking? 01:01:41.120 --> 01:01:42.610 Charlie, she's a gold digger. 01:01:43.080 --> 01:01:44.605 I'm a gold mine. 01:01:47.320 --> 01:01:51.120 Oh, by the way, steer clear of the Jacuzzi. 01:01:51.320 --> 01:01:54.483 It's a smoothie of old sperm. 01:01:55.480 --> 01:01:56.481 Ciao. 01:02:02.560 --> 01:02:03.686 Hmm? 01:02:04.240 --> 01:02:05.480 Bastard. 01:02:06.480 --> 01:02:07.606 (SIGHS) 01:02:14.120 --> 01:02:15.246 No luck? 01:02:15.360 --> 01:02:16.486 No. 01:02:17.360 --> 01:02:19.203 You see, dear, we're all too old now. 01:02:19.280 --> 01:02:20.406 Oh, shut up. 01:02:20.480 --> 01:02:23.290 Come on, Eddy! It's my birthday. 01:02:23.360 --> 01:02:25.249 Come on, come on. 01:02:25.320 --> 01:02:26.685 Oh! 01:02:31.240 --> 01:02:32.321 Enjoying yourself? 01:02:32.440 --> 01:02:33.521 No. 01:02:37.680 --> 01:02:40.809 EDINA: No, I'm young! I'm still young. I'm not old. 01:02:41.240 --> 01:02:43.402 I'm not old. I'm still young. 01:02:43.680 --> 01:02:45.489 Because 60 is the new 40! 01:02:45.680 --> 01:02:48.160 Sixty is the new 40! 01:02:48.360 --> 01:02:50.522 No! Not the sad feet! 01:02:51.160 --> 01:02:52.525 (SOBBING) 01:02:56.440 --> 01:02:57.441 Oh, ow! Ow. 01:02:57.520 --> 01:02:58.521 Careful! 01:02:58.720 --> 01:03:01.326 With your reputation for galumphing into people, 01:03:01.400 --> 01:03:03.289 we don't want you to trip over the Duchess. 01:03:05.200 --> 01:03:06.247 EDINA: What is that? 01:03:06.400 --> 01:03:07.526 She's the Dowager Baroness 01:03:07.600 --> 01:03:11.400 Lubliana Thysen von Rothschild und Muck. 01:03:16.400 --> 01:03:19.165 Pats, Pats, Pats, Pats, Pats. 01:03:19.840 --> 01:03:23.845 That is the richest woman in the world. 01:03:25.320 --> 01:03:26.845 Darling, that... 01:03:27.320 --> 01:03:30.847 is the richest woman in the world! 01:03:32.840 --> 01:03:34.649 No, Eddy, no, no, Eddy, no! 01:03:34.760 --> 01:03:36.569 Yes, yes, yes. Just come on. 01:03:37.440 --> 01:03:38.601 Oi! Where are you two off to? 01:03:38.720 --> 01:03:39.926 Laundry. You come, too. 01:03:40.240 --> 01:03:41.241 (YELPS) 01:03:43.720 --> 01:03:46.121 FEMALE RADIO REPORTER: Reports from a source close to the investigation 01:03:46.200 --> 01:03:48.521 suggest Edina Monsoon may have fled the country. 01:03:48.600 --> 01:03:49.601 For you. Ooh. 01:03:50.360 --> 01:03:51.566 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 01:03:53.400 --> 01:03:54.401 SAFFY: Gran? 01:03:54.600 --> 01:03:56.602 Oh, hello, Saffy. Is Mum there? 01:03:56.760 --> 01:03:59.604 Yes, your mother and Patsy are here. 01:03:59.880 --> 01:04:01.484 What about Lola? 01:04:01.680 --> 01:04:03.091 Is she with them? 01:04:03.200 --> 01:04:04.611 Well, she was, dear. 01:04:05.360 --> 01:04:08.569 Oh, my goodness. I must go. Shirley Bassey is arriving... 01:04:08.760 --> 01:04:10.603 any minute now. 01:04:18.600 --> 01:04:20.728 The minute you walked in thejoint 01:04:21.600 --> 01:04:24.683 I could see you were a man of distinction 01:04:24.800 --> 01:04:25.847 A real big spender 01:04:25.960 --> 01:04:27.291 Very nice. 01:04:27.440 --> 01:04:30.250 Good lookin', so refined 01:04:30.440 --> 01:04:33.808 Say, wouldn't you like to know what's goin' on in my mind? 01:04:34.000 --> 01:04:35.889 So let me get right to the point 01:04:36.760 --> 01:04:39.286 I don't pop my cork for every man I see 01:04:39.640 --> 01:04:40.880 May we join you? 01:04:41.000 --> 01:04:42.240 Who are you? 01:04:42.640 --> 01:04:44.404 I am Edina. 01:04:44.920 --> 01:04:47.651 May I introduce my brother Pat? 01:04:47.760 --> 01:04:49.967 Spend a little time with me 01:04:50.800 --> 01:04:53.406 Stone. Pat Stone. 01:04:53.960 --> 01:04:55.644 (MUFFLED GRUNTING) 01:04:56.520 --> 01:04:58.488 Do you know who I am? 01:04:58.800 --> 01:05:01.246 Dowager Baroness Lubliana 01:05:01.320 --> 01:05:03.800 Thysen von Rothschild und Muck. 01:05:04.280 --> 01:05:07.523 So you're not partying with all the other men? 01:05:07.720 --> 01:05:09.324 No, he likes older women. 01:05:09.520 --> 01:05:11.488 Not those girls. 01:05:14.680 --> 01:05:18.287 We want a proper shuffle, no fuzzing the cards. 01:05:18.400 --> 01:05:21.324 (MOANING) (CHUCKLES) 01:05:22.360 --> 01:05:23.691 With me 01:05:28.920 --> 01:05:29.921 (NANCY SINATRA SINGING) 01:05:30.000 --> 01:05:33.447 Spring was never waiting for us, boy 01:05:33.520 --> 01:05:36.490 It ran one step ahead 01:05:36.560 --> 01:05:38.642 As we followed in the dance 01:05:43.760 --> 01:05:47.890 Between the parted pages and were pressed 01:05:48.040 --> 01:05:52.409 ln love's hot fevered iron like a striped... 01:05:52.480 --> 01:05:53.481 (MUSIC STOPS) 01:05:54.480 --> 01:05:56.482 (MINISTER SPEAKING FRENCH) 01:06:07.000 --> 01:06:08.490 French. 01:06:09.000 --> 01:06:10.490 Pat Stone. 01:06:11.040 --> 01:06:12.804 (CONTINUES SPEAKING IN FRENCH) 01:06:12.880 --> 01:06:13.881 PATSY: Yeah. 01:06:15.040 --> 01:06:16.041 Yeah. 01:06:16.800 --> 01:06:17.801 Oui. 01:06:17.880 --> 01:06:19.405 (MINISTER SPEAKING FRENCH) Okay. 01:06:30.680 --> 01:06:31.966 Yes, absolutely. 01:06:32.080 --> 01:06:33.764 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 01:06:34.760 --> 01:06:35.921 Now. 01:06:36.360 --> 01:06:37.361 Oh! 01:06:43.520 --> 01:06:46.046 Oh, what a rainbow world we live in. 01:06:46.800 --> 01:06:47.961 (SCATTERED APPLAUSE) (MUSIC RESUMES) 01:06:54.720 --> 01:06:56.085 (BELL TOLLING) (WOMAN SINGING) 01:06:56.520 --> 01:07:00.764 EDINA: Till death do you part, till death do you part. 01:07:00.920 --> 01:07:02.763 How long do you think it will be? 01:07:02.920 --> 01:07:05.651 Let Lubey have her moment. Come on, sweetie, be cool. 01:07:05.840 --> 01:07:07.126 My darling Pat. 01:07:07.440 --> 01:07:09.010 You feeling all right? 01:07:09.600 --> 01:07:11.011 (MUMBLING) 01:07:11.400 --> 01:07:14.643 MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark 01:07:14.720 --> 01:07:18.805 All the sweet green icing flowing down 01:07:18.920 --> 01:07:20.729 (EDINA SIGHS AND CHUCKLES) 01:07:23.080 --> 01:07:25.048 Still got it, hasn't it, the Riviera? 01:07:25.120 --> 01:07:27.566 Yeah, it's still got it. 01:07:28.560 --> 01:07:29.686 Where are we going? 01:07:29.880 --> 01:07:32.008 The Grand-Hotel Du Cap-Ferrat. 01:07:33.360 --> 01:07:35.966 Oh, Eddy, the six finest words in the English language. 01:07:37.640 --> 01:07:38.971 Are we booked in? 01:07:39.120 --> 01:07:41.885 No need, it's mine. I own it. 01:07:41.960 --> 01:07:43.200 (GROWLS) 01:07:59.840 --> 01:08:02.127 I'm so happy. Are you? 01:08:02.560 --> 01:08:04.449 Tremendously happy. 01:08:04.720 --> 01:08:06.848 You and I are married. (CHUCKLES) 01:08:07.440 --> 01:08:08.726 So... 01:08:11.120 --> 01:08:12.610 so... 01:08:13.520 --> 01:08:14.681 happy? 01:08:14.840 --> 01:08:16.604 Tremendously. 01:08:17.000 --> 01:08:20.129 Now it's late, darling. Bed beckons. 01:08:21.600 --> 01:08:24.604 Does it? Um, another drink? Perhaps some nibbles? 01:08:24.840 --> 01:08:26.604 I'm tired. 01:08:27.040 --> 01:08:28.849 Oh, I'm tired, too. 01:08:29.160 --> 01:08:31.128 Would you mind if I retired? 01:08:31.200 --> 01:08:33.043 Stay and drink with your sister. 01:08:33.480 --> 01:08:35.687 I don't mind. Enjoy the evening. 01:08:35.960 --> 01:08:36.961 (SHOUTING) 01:08:38.600 --> 01:08:40.489 And thank you. 01:08:40.840 --> 01:08:41.841 I may be... 01:08:41.920 --> 01:08:43.126 the richest woman in the world, 01:08:43.200 --> 01:08:47.171 but also sometimes the loneliest. 01:08:47.640 --> 01:08:49.529 Oh, Lubey. 01:08:49.880 --> 01:08:51.370 Am I interrupting something? No, darling. 01:08:51.480 --> 01:08:52.481 (SHOUTS) 01:08:53.360 --> 01:08:55.727 (CHUCKLING) Au revoir. 01:08:55.840 --> 01:08:57.171 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 01:08:59.280 --> 01:09:00.281 (SIGHS) 01:09:01.320 --> 01:09:02.401 Oh, Eddy. 01:09:03.320 --> 01:09:05.243 Little Lubey, Eds. Mmm. 01:09:06.040 --> 01:09:07.724 is a darling. 01:09:08.480 --> 01:09:10.721 Wasabi nut, wasabi. (SPITS) 01:09:13.520 --> 01:09:14.521 (EDINA SIGHS) 01:09:17.080 --> 01:09:18.650 Thank you, darling. 01:09:19.080 --> 01:09:20.525 How are you feeling? 01:09:20.920 --> 01:09:22.081 Tremendously happy. 01:09:22.200 --> 01:09:24.248 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 01:09:26.560 --> 01:09:28.130 What if they've found Bubble? 01:09:28.560 --> 01:09:30.927 Darling, don't think about it. They can't tie it to us. 01:09:31.200 --> 01:09:32.929 Yeah, yeah. 01:09:34.200 --> 01:09:36.771 Eddy, living well is the best revenge. 01:09:40.080 --> 01:09:41.923 This could be our life, couldn't it? 01:09:42.120 --> 01:09:45.602 This is our life. We're not going back. 01:09:45.800 --> 01:09:48.121 And what's to miss? Just things. 01:09:49.120 --> 01:09:51.168 You've never had attachments, have you? 01:09:51.560 --> 01:09:53.210 They're not attachments. 01:09:53.280 --> 01:09:56.124 They're parasites, ticks, danglers. 01:09:56.800 --> 01:09:58.848 You can buy new things. 01:10:02.120 --> 01:10:03.121 Hmm. 01:10:04.560 --> 01:10:06.244 We're not going back. 01:10:07.160 --> 01:10:08.321 Do you want vodka in that? 01:10:08.440 --> 01:10:09.646 Yeah. 01:10:15.960 --> 01:10:18.247 LULU: I can't believe you can afford a place like this. 01:10:18.840 --> 01:10:22.970 Well, I do all our accounts and I've been overpaying meself for years. 01:10:23.280 --> 01:10:26.841 'Twas nowt but a wormhole when I bought it, though. 01:10:27.160 --> 01:10:29.606 She's an idiot and she tried to kill you, remember. 01:10:29.680 --> 01:10:30.681 I know, but... 01:10:31.560 --> 01:10:32.800 I called the police. 01:10:32.960 --> 01:10:36.851 They will find her. And she will get... 01:10:37.000 --> 01:10:38.240 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 01:10:55.760 --> 01:10:57.649 Hello, Saffy, dear. Gran. 01:10:57.880 --> 01:11:00.281 Funniest thing... I was wrong. 01:11:00.560 --> 01:11:01.846 Lola's not here? 01:11:02.160 --> 01:11:04.766 It wasn't Shirley Bassey, it was a lookalike. 01:11:04.960 --> 01:11:06.689 Gran, where is Lola? 01:11:06.880 --> 01:11:08.882 I have no idea, dear. 01:11:09.320 --> 01:11:10.765 Come on, Gloria. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 01:11:12.000 --> 01:11:13.365 Have you got the balls? 01:11:13.640 --> 01:11:14.846 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 01:11:15.320 --> 01:11:16.367 EMMA: Saff! 01:11:16.760 --> 01:11:18.205 Emma. Lola! 01:11:18.760 --> 01:11:19.841 Are you all right? 01:11:20.000 --> 01:11:21.047 I'm fine. 01:11:21.240 --> 01:11:24.881 I found her cleaning my room. They gave her to housekeeping. 01:11:25.040 --> 01:11:26.041 I'm so glad you're safe. 01:11:26.120 --> 01:11:27.121 Mmm-hmm. 01:11:28.320 --> 01:11:29.367 I love you. 01:11:31.040 --> 01:11:32.326 Thanks. 01:11:35.000 --> 01:11:36.729 What are you doing here? 01:11:36.920 --> 01:11:38.206 Oh, it's a long story. 01:11:38.280 --> 01:11:41.204 Lulu called the police because I saw your mother here. 01:11:41.720 --> 01:11:42.721 Lulu? 01:11:42.800 --> 01:11:43.881 (CEL PHONE RINGING) 01:11:44.360 --> 01:11:45.691 Nick? 01:11:45.920 --> 01:11:47.046 What? 01:11:47.240 --> 01:11:48.287 Oh, uh... 01:11:48.360 --> 01:11:50.931 Hang on. Can you look after Lola? 01:11:51.240 --> 01:11:54.244 Of course. I won't be long, I promise. 01:11:59.800 --> 01:12:02.087 Nick, I found Lola. I found your mother. 01:12:02.280 --> 01:12:03.281 I don't care about my mother. 01:12:03.360 --> 01:12:05.362 Yes, you do. Drive! 01:12:07.280 --> 01:12:08.281 Allez. 01:12:08.760 --> 01:12:09.841 Go. Please. 01:12:19.840 --> 01:12:20.966 I don't normally like the stuff 01:12:21.040 --> 01:12:23.725 you get in hotel lobbies, but this is quite nice. 01:12:23.960 --> 01:12:25.086 It's fabulous. 01:12:25.720 --> 01:12:26.721 (EDINA SIGHS) 01:12:27.760 --> 01:12:28.966 Oh, I could get used to this. 01:12:29.960 --> 01:12:31.724 I am used to it. (CHUCKLES) 01:12:33.040 --> 01:12:34.121 Where's the wife? 01:12:34.320 --> 01:12:36.448 She's using the funicular. She'll be hours. 01:12:38.440 --> 01:12:39.885 I tell you something, Eddy. 01:12:40.120 --> 01:12:42.726 Little Kate Moss, thank you. 01:12:44.400 --> 01:12:46.129 Oh. I mean, darling... 01:12:46.320 --> 01:12:47.970 this could be the first day 01:12:48.120 --> 01:12:49.406 of the start of the whole days 01:12:49.480 --> 01:12:51.323 of the rest of our lives, couldn't it, really? 01:12:52.000 --> 01:12:54.890 Thanks to Lubey. Yeah, thanks to Lubey. 01:12:56.000 --> 01:12:58.446 Are you growing attached to Lubey, darling? 01:12:58.800 --> 01:13:01.007 We are just waiting for her to change her will and die. 01:13:01.200 --> 01:13:02.440 Oh, Eddy. 01:13:02.520 --> 01:13:03.965 I mean, has she changed her will yet? 01:13:04.120 --> 01:13:07.761 All in good time, Eds, all in good time. 01:13:09.120 --> 01:13:11.327 Oh, I say. Hello. 01:13:17.480 --> 01:13:19.482 I'll just go and check that out. 01:13:19.800 --> 01:13:21.211 (PHONE RINGING) 01:13:23.040 --> 01:13:25.042 Saffy, listen. I'm not coming home, 01:13:25.120 --> 01:13:26.167 so stop phoning me! 01:13:26.360 --> 01:13:27.930 I've got the rest of my life to live 01:13:28.000 --> 01:13:29.843 and I'm going to live it. 01:13:30.040 --> 01:13:33.362 I'm done with all of you, so forget me. 01:13:33.440 --> 01:13:35.044 Just forget me. 01:13:36.040 --> 01:13:37.451 (SINGING) I'm walking down the road 01:13:37.920 --> 01:13:39.922 Looking at trees 01:13:40.320 --> 01:13:42.482 All the people going by 01:13:42.920 --> 01:13:46.481 They say "How do you look so good today, Eddy?" 01:13:46.920 --> 01:13:49.810 I say "I don't know. I don't know" 01:13:55.520 --> 01:13:57.522 (SPEAKING FRENCH) So... 01:13:58.520 --> 01:14:00.522 have you been working here long? 01:14:02.360 --> 01:14:04.840 You look pretty... Oh, the mustache. 01:14:05.840 --> 01:14:07.524 You're pretty gorgeous, too. 01:14:08.560 --> 01:14:11.040 (POLICE OFFICER SPEAKING FRENCH) 01:14:11.280 --> 01:14:12.361 (GASPS) 01:14:16.480 --> 01:14:18.209 (YELPING) (SCREAMS) 01:14:18.560 --> 01:14:20.130 (CHUCKLING) 01:14:21.240 --> 01:14:23.242 (PANTING) Eddy, Eddy! Eddy! 01:14:23.560 --> 01:14:25.005 Eddy! What, darling? 01:14:25.200 --> 01:14:27.202 The pigs, the fuzz... your face! 01:14:27.560 --> 01:14:29.050 We've got to leave. The pigs, the fuzz, your face! 01:14:29.120 --> 01:14:30.121 (GASPS) 01:14:30.560 --> 01:14:32.005 EDINA: The pigs, the pigs! 01:14:32.080 --> 01:14:33.161 Quick! 01:14:33.280 --> 01:14:34.884 Come on, Eddy, we've got to get out of here. 01:14:35.880 --> 01:14:38.167 Cover your face. Just hide, hide. 01:14:49.560 --> 01:14:52.086 Excusez-moi. Hello. 01:14:52.560 --> 01:14:53.846 Excusez-moi, madame? 01:14:53.960 --> 01:14:55.246 I say! 01:14:55.560 --> 01:14:56.846 Excusez-moi, madame? 01:14:56.960 --> 01:14:58.200 Can I help you? 01:14:59.640 --> 01:15:00.641 (GASPS) 01:15:10.480 --> 01:15:12.209 (GRUNTING) 01:15:15.040 --> 01:15:17.611 Quick, quick, quick, darling! Get in! 01:15:24.960 --> 01:15:26.291 PATSY: Allez, allez! 01:15:26.400 --> 01:15:27.640 EDINA: I am allez-ing. 01:15:32.320 --> 01:15:34.209 Go left, go left! (GROANING) 01:15:38.920 --> 01:15:39.921 Keep going, Eddy! 01:15:42.280 --> 01:15:43.281 (GASPING) 01:15:44.000 --> 01:15:45.001 Go left! 01:15:45.080 --> 01:15:47.481 At the end, go left. 01:15:47.560 --> 01:15:48.971 (WHIMPERING) 01:15:50.440 --> 01:15:51.441 (WOMAN SCREAMING) 01:15:57.280 --> 01:15:58.281 (OFFICERS SPEAKING FRENCH) 01:15:58.360 --> 01:16:00.124 PATSY: Left. EDINA: We've been left! 01:16:01.960 --> 01:16:03.564 What's that pedal? Press that pedal. 01:16:03.640 --> 01:16:04.607 (SHOUTING IN FRENCH) 01:16:04.680 --> 01:16:07.251 That pedal! That pedal there! 01:16:07.320 --> 01:16:08.685 (WINDSHIELD WIPERS SQUEAKING) Oh. Oh. 01:16:09.000 --> 01:16:10.650 No, not that pedal. 01:16:11.040 --> 01:16:12.326 Not that pedal. 01:16:13.240 --> 01:16:14.321 Watch out! 01:16:14.440 --> 01:16:15.487 (SCREAMS) 01:16:17.120 --> 01:16:18.167 Oh, God! PATSY: Merci. 01:16:20.200 --> 01:16:21.281 (PEOPLE SHRIEKING) 01:16:27.000 --> 01:16:28.365 That was quite nice. 01:16:28.440 --> 01:16:29.407 (SHOUTING IN FRENCH) 01:16:29.520 --> 01:16:31.010 We've lost them, Eddy. 01:16:31.160 --> 01:16:33.049 Shall I keep going? Yeah! We're not giving in! 01:16:34.160 --> 01:16:36.083 EDINA: Watch out! (CYCLISTS SPEAKING FRENCH) 01:16:36.160 --> 01:16:38.288 EDINA: Bloody bicyclettes! 01:16:39.520 --> 01:16:41.682 (ENGINE SPUTTERING) We're not going back. 01:16:42.480 --> 01:16:43.481 (ENGINE STOPS) 01:16:45.520 --> 01:16:47.284 Brake, Eddy! 01:16:48.560 --> 01:16:50.210 (METAL CLANGING) (EDINA WHIMPERING) 01:16:51.080 --> 01:16:53.162 EDINA: Oh, God! Whoa! 01:16:56.200 --> 01:16:57.440 (BOTH SCREAMING) 01:16:59.120 --> 01:17:00.360 She could be anywhere. 01:17:01.200 --> 01:17:02.201 (LULU GASPS) 01:17:09.560 --> 01:17:11.403 Bubble, you're alive! 01:17:11.720 --> 01:17:14.564 Welcome to my humble abode. 01:17:15.040 --> 01:17:17.327 Lulu? What are you doing here? 01:17:17.560 --> 01:17:19.085 I want to see you pay. 01:17:19.160 --> 01:17:20.207 SAFFY: Mum! 01:17:20.400 --> 01:17:22.129 EDINA: Saff. PATSY: Oh, shit. 01:17:22.240 --> 01:17:23.526 Get out! 01:17:23.720 --> 01:17:25.051 No, no. 01:17:25.320 --> 01:17:26.401 Don't be ridiculous. 01:17:26.480 --> 01:17:28.323 Nick's come to take you back for the hearing. 01:17:28.520 --> 01:17:29.567 Eddy? 01:17:30.080 --> 01:17:31.730 No, we're not going back, darling. 01:17:32.200 --> 01:17:33.725 Mum, get out of the water! 01:17:35.080 --> 01:17:36.411 (WHIMPERING) 01:17:37.440 --> 01:17:39.090 Eddy, we're sinking. (GRUNTS) 01:17:39.240 --> 01:17:41.402 Do get out of the pool, Mrs. Monsoon. 01:17:41.560 --> 01:17:43.164 I would rather die 01:17:43.240 --> 01:17:45.322 than go back to all those hating faces! 01:17:46.320 --> 01:17:48.322 I mean, look at me, darling. 01:17:49.200 --> 01:17:52.761 All I've ever wanted was not to be fat... 01:17:53.200 --> 01:17:54.486 and old. 01:17:54.760 --> 01:17:58.207 You know, darling. To just keep the party going. 01:17:58.480 --> 01:18:00.209 Now here I am. 01:18:01.080 --> 01:18:04.607 Just fat and old and hated... 01:18:05.080 --> 01:18:06.605 and nothing. 01:18:07.160 --> 01:18:08.525 I'm getting in. (SIGHS) 01:18:08.600 --> 01:18:12.127 Darling, I know you think I don't know who I am... 01:18:12.280 --> 01:18:14.442 (STAMMERING) ...and what I've done. 01:18:15.240 --> 01:18:17.607 But I do, darling, I do. 01:18:19.120 --> 01:18:21.122 I'm disgusting. 01:18:21.680 --> 01:18:24.604 Always wanting everything, always taking more. 01:18:25.480 --> 01:18:27.244 Wearing stupid... 01:18:27.480 --> 01:18:29.767 ridiculous small, small, small, 01:18:29.840 --> 01:18:32.241 stylish, stupid, ridiculous clothing! 01:18:32.520 --> 01:18:34.682 You think it's hard living with me, 01:18:34.760 --> 01:18:36.808 try being at this end, darling. 01:18:38.240 --> 01:18:39.765 And it is all about me, isn't it? 01:18:39.840 --> 01:18:41.126 It has been all about me. 01:18:41.320 --> 01:18:42.810 And me, Eds. 01:18:43.600 --> 01:18:44.601 (GASPS) 01:18:48.800 --> 01:18:50.290 Darling... 01:18:50.520 --> 01:18:53.490 I've never given you the love that you deserve. 01:18:56.800 --> 01:18:58.529 Before I go... 01:18:58.800 --> 01:19:01.326 I want you to know that I love you. 01:19:04.520 --> 01:19:06.409 I love you, Mum. 01:19:06.600 --> 01:19:08.602 And Lola, sweetheart. 01:19:08.840 --> 01:19:11.161 And Pats. 01:19:13.560 --> 01:19:15.164 It's all right. 01:19:16.400 --> 01:19:18.448 You can let me go, darling. 01:19:20.560 --> 01:19:22.289 Let me go. I'm going to join Kate 01:19:22.400 --> 01:19:25.563 in the watery grave. Let me go. 01:19:26.760 --> 01:19:28.524 Kate's not dead. 01:19:28.640 --> 01:19:29.721 What? What? 01:19:29.800 --> 01:19:31.768 What? She lives! 01:19:36.200 --> 01:19:37.201 Kate! 01:19:37.360 --> 01:19:39.647 Jean Paul. Where's the party? 01:19:39.840 --> 01:19:41.888 The party is wherever you are, Kate! 01:19:42.240 --> 01:19:43.526 I lost everyone. 01:19:43.640 --> 01:19:46.803 Sometimes it's good to have lost some people. 01:19:47.200 --> 01:19:49.362 You stay with me. We make another little party. 01:19:50.920 --> 01:19:54.686 You stupid, bloody, bollocking idiot! 01:19:54.880 --> 01:19:56.882 Why didn't you say that before? 01:19:57.320 --> 01:20:00.483 I just humiliated myself! 01:20:00.720 --> 01:20:02.484 (CROWD CHEERING) 01:20:16.560 --> 01:20:17.641 Hi, Kate, darling. 01:20:17.720 --> 01:20:20.291 No, I'm working from Nobu this week. 01:20:20.480 --> 01:20:21.606 The world is at your feet 01:20:21.680 --> 01:20:23.284 and I can make them stay there. 01:20:23.480 --> 01:20:24.606 Game-changing reinvention... 01:20:24.680 --> 01:20:27.251 You are the new face of Louis Vuitton menswear. 01:20:27.400 --> 01:20:28.401 (LAUGHING) I know! 01:20:28.920 --> 01:20:30.001 No, I've done a big dump. 01:20:30.240 --> 01:20:31.321 I only represent you now. 01:20:31.400 --> 01:20:33.243 Got rid of Emma Bunton and Lulu. 01:20:33.400 --> 01:20:35.767 I'm gonna be a big cheese in the Big Apple. 01:20:36.360 --> 01:20:38.647 I am a big cheese! Thank you, darling! 01:20:39.000 --> 01:20:40.809 (LAUGHING) 01:20:43.920 --> 01:20:45.365 We are living the dream, darling. 01:20:45.440 --> 01:20:46.646 We are, darling. 01:20:49.720 --> 01:20:52.644 Here I am, Edina Monsoon, on my way to... 01:20:52.920 --> 01:20:54.524 my book launch. Yeah. 01:20:58.280 --> 01:21:00.282 EDINA: Oh, darling, I lost my pelvic floor on takeoff. 01:21:01.280 --> 01:21:03.328 PATSY: Don't worry. We'll pick it up on the way back. 01:21:03.520 --> 01:21:06.410 Fashion icon Kate Moss has been found safe and well... 01:21:07.000 --> 01:21:10.607 five days after falling from a balcony into the river. 01:21:10.800 --> 01:21:12.723 It's been reported she is resting 01:21:12.800 --> 01:21:14.928 at the home ofher new P.R., Eddy Mon... 01:21:15.000 --> 01:21:16.001 (TURNS TV OFF) 01:21:16.680 --> 01:21:18.569 Why is Kate Moss still here? 01:21:18.800 --> 01:21:20.564 Mum's doing her P. R. now. 01:21:20.760 --> 01:21:22.683 Apparently, she's never been so in demand 01:21:22.760 --> 01:21:24.000 since she went missing. 01:21:24.440 --> 01:21:25.965 So, darling, the plan is 01:21:26.040 --> 01:21:28.441 we throw a huge party in Hyde Park. 01:21:28.680 --> 01:21:30.921 Like a "Welcome Back, Kate" party. 01:21:31.000 --> 01:21:32.365 (CHUCKLES) 01:21:32.440 --> 01:21:34.920 And darling, we should get Bollinger 01:21:35.000 --> 01:21:37.446 to give us a whole vintage. A whole vintage, darling. 01:21:37.680 --> 01:21:39.682 Eddy, you'll want to wear couture. 01:21:39.960 --> 01:21:42.008 Yeah, yeah. No Stella. (LAUGHING) 01:21:42.440 --> 01:21:46.684 Am I still sending all the bills to Baroness Lublubliana... 01:21:46.920 --> 01:21:49.321 Rothschild Von Thy... 01:21:49.560 --> 01:21:52.006 Mum, no! You can't do that. 01:21:52.440 --> 01:21:54.010 No, Eddy, no, no, no. 01:21:54.440 --> 01:21:56.727 Think of our life, our dream! 01:21:57.000 --> 01:21:58.764 Don't let this repellent little shrew 01:21:58.840 --> 01:22:00.604 take it away from us. 01:22:00.840 --> 01:22:02.569 Every time our life hits a good patch, 01:22:02.640 --> 01:22:05.325 this miserable piece of flesh ruins it. 01:22:05.720 --> 01:22:07.722 If you don't tell her, I will! 01:22:08.360 --> 01:22:11.489 Oh, you little bitch troll from hell. 01:22:12.720 --> 01:22:14.722 No! 01:22:29.040 --> 01:22:30.041 (SIGHS) 01:22:30.880 --> 01:22:33.087 Lubey, I have something to tell you. 01:22:34.360 --> 01:22:35.771 I'm not a man. 01:22:36.040 --> 01:22:37.485 I know. 01:22:37.880 --> 01:22:40.042 And I'm not a woman. 01:22:50.760 --> 01:22:53.525 EDINA: Well, you don't mind sleeping with him/her? 01:22:54.480 --> 01:22:57.086 Does it mean you don't need the strap-on? I don't know. 01:22:58.000 --> 01:22:59.490 (THlS WHEEL'S ON FlRE BY KYLIE MINOGUE) 01:23:00.920 --> 01:23:03.526 Wheel's on fire 01:23:03.880 --> 01:23:08.966 Rolling down the road 01:23:09.760 --> 01:23:14.049 Best notify my next ofkin 01:23:14.520 --> 01:23:19.560 This wheel shall explode! 01:23:20.400 --> 01:23:23.927 If your memory serves you well 01:23:24.760 --> 01:23:27.764 I was going to confiscate my lace 01:23:28.160 --> 01:23:32.927 And wrap it up in a sailor's knot 01:23:33.040 --> 01:23:35.930 And hide it in your case 01:23:36.760 --> 01:23:41.004 If I knew for sure that it was yours 01:23:41.120 --> 01:23:44.567 But it was oh, so hard to tell 01:23:45.440 --> 01:23:49.206 But you knew that we would meet again 01:23:49.440 --> 01:23:52.125 lfyour memory served you well 01:23:54.640 --> 01:23:57.166 Wheel's on fire 01:23:57.840 --> 01:24:03.483 Rolling down the road 01:24:03.720 --> 01:24:07.725 Best notify my next ofkin 01:24:08.160 --> 01:24:13.485 This wheel shall explode! 01:24:13.800 --> 01:24:17.885 If your memory serves you well 01:24:18.640 --> 01:24:21.644 You'll remember you're the one 01:24:21.800 --> 01:24:26.488 That called on me to call on them 01:24:26.880 --> 01:24:29.645 To get you your favors done 01:24:30.960 --> 01:24:33.804 And after every plan had failed 01:24:34.840 --> 01:24:38.003 And there was nothing more to tell 01:24:39.120 --> 01:24:42.920 You knew that we would meet again 01:24:43.000 --> 01:24:46.163 lfyour memory served you well 01:24:48.760 --> 01:24:51.081 Wheel's on fire 01:24:51.680 --> 01:24:57.244 Rolling down the road 01:24:57.600 --> 01:25:01.730 Best notify my next ofkin 01:25:02.080 --> 01:25:07.883 This wheel shall explode! 01:26:23.680 --> 01:26:26.331 You talk like Marlene Dietrich 01:26:27.200 --> 01:26:30.602 And you dance like Zizi Jeanmaire 01:26:31.280 --> 01:26:34.762 Your clothes are all made by Balmain 01:26:35.280 --> 01:26:38.568 And there's diamonds and pearls in your hair 01:26:38.640 --> 01:26:39.641 Yes, there are 01:26:41.600 --> 01:26:44.888 You live in a fancy apartment 01:26:45.720 --> 01:26:48.849 Off the Boulevard Saint-Michel 01:26:49.800 --> 01:26:53.771 Where you keep your Rolling Stones records 01:26:53.840 --> 01:26:56.730 And your friend of Sacha Distel 01:26:56.800 --> 01:26:57.801 Yes, you do 01:26:59.960 --> 01:27:03.328 Oh, but where do you go to, my lovely 01:27:04.640 --> 01:27:07.291 When you're alone in your bed? 01:27:08.720 --> 01:27:11.963 Tell me the thoughts that surround you 01:27:12.800 --> 01:27:15.371 I want to look inside your head 01:27:15.640 --> 01:27:16.641 Yes, I do 01:27:18.640 --> 01:27:22.008 I've seen all your qualifications 01:27:22.680 --> 01:27:26.082 You got from the Sorbonne 01:27:26.800 --> 01:27:29.849 And the painting you stole from Picasso 01:27:31.000 --> 01:27:34.004 Your loveliness goes on and on 01:27:34.080 --> 01:27:35.161 Yes, it does 01:27:37.080 --> 01:27:40.289 Oh, when you go on your summer vacation 01:27:41.160 --> 01:27:44.130 You go to Juan-les-Pins 01:27:45.160 --> 01:27:48.801 With your carefully designed topless swimsuit 01:27:49.360 --> 01:27:52.409 You get an even suntan 01:27:52.680 --> 01:27:54.842 On your back and on your legs 01:27:55.440 --> 01:27:58.887 And when the snow falls you're found in St. Moritz 01:27:59.680 --> 01:28:02.763 With the others of thejet-set 01:28:03.360 --> 01:28:07.081 And you sip your Napoleon brandy 01:28:07.920 --> 01:28:10.685 But you never get your lips wet 01:28:10.760 --> 01:28:12.000 No, you don't 01:28:13.920 --> 01:28:17.811 But where do you go to my lovely 01:28:18.280 --> 01:28:21.443 When you're alone in your bed? 01:28:22.200 --> 01:28:25.329 Won't you tell me the thoughts that surround you? 01:28:26.360 --> 01:28:29.284 I want to look inside your head 01:28:29.360 --> 01:28:30.361 Yes, I do 01:28:32.240 --> 01:28:35.483 Your name it is heard in high places 01:28:36.480 --> 01:28:39.802 You know the Aga Khan 01:28:40.440 --> 01:28:43.808 He sent you a racehorse for Christmas 01:28:44.880 --> 01:28:49.920 And you keep itjust for fun for a laugh, ha-ha-ha 01:28:50.880 --> 01:28:54.009 They say that when you get married 01:28:55.000 --> 01:28:58.163 It'll be to a millionaire 01:28:59.080 --> 01:29:02.243 But they don't realize where you came from 01:29:03.080 --> 01:29:06.129 And I wonder if they really care 01:29:06.200 --> 01:29:07.531 Or give a damn 01:29:09.440 --> 01:29:13.047 Where do you go to, my lovely 01:29:13.800 --> 01:29:16.770 When you're alone in your bed? 01:29:17.920 --> 01:29:21.242 Tell me the thoughts that surround you 01:29:21.960 --> 01:29:24.884 I want to look inside your head 01:29:24.960 --> 01:29:26.200 Yes, I do 01:29:27.280 --> 01:29:31.444 I remember the back streets ofNaples 01:29:32.120 --> 01:29:35.522 Two children begging in rags 01:29:36.160 --> 01:29:39.801 Both touched with a burning ambition 01:29:40.800 --> 01:29:43.485 To shake off their lowly-borne tags 01:29:43.560 --> 01:29:45.210 They try 01:29:46.080 --> 01:29:49.926 So look into my face Marie-Claire 01:29:50.960 --> 01:29:53.964 And remember just who you are 01:29:54.960 --> 01:29:58.521 Then go and forget me forever 01:29:59.160 --> 01:30:03.165 But I know you still bear the scar, deep inside 01:30:03.280 --> 01:30:04.486 Yes, you do 01:30:05.200 --> 01:30:09.000 I know where you go to my lovely 01:30:10.000 --> 01:30:12.970 When you're alone in your bed 01:30:14.040 --> 01:30:17.169 I know the thoughts that surround you 01:30:17.960 --> 01:30:24.491 'Cause I can look inside your head 01:30:46.240 --> 01:30:49.369 People should go back to watching videos of kittens. 01:30:49.440 --> 01:30:51.124 Now bugger off.