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WEBVTT - https://subtitletools.com 00:00:51.618 --> 00:00:54.887 I know you have a lot of girls talking to you. 00:00:54.889 --> 00:00:57.656 Why don't we go back to my place? 00:01:01.861 --> 00:01:03.095 I wanna explore 00:01:03.097 --> 00:01:05.798 every inch of your body. 00:01:10.303 --> 00:01:13.572 Will you just fuck me? 00:01:14.741 --> 00:01:17.609 You're suffering from OSD, 00:01:17.611 --> 00:01:20.412 which is obsessive sexual desires. 00:01:20.414 --> 00:01:24.049 So I'd like for you to read my book. 00:01:24.051 --> 00:01:27.119 This book will show you how to rechannel 00:01:27.121 --> 00:01:28.720 those negative sexual impulses. 00:01:28.722 --> 00:01:33.792 Example: Instead of copulation, try communication. 00:01:33.794 --> 00:01:37.329 I had a patient who was addicted to group sex, 00:01:37.331 --> 00:01:40.732 and he read this book, and it changed him so much 00:01:40.734 --> 00:01:43.235 that he just recently climbed mt. Everest. 00:01:43.237 --> 00:01:44.937 Wow, that's amazing. 00:01:44.939 --> 00:01:47.506 He ended up having a three-way with a couple of Sherpas, 00:01:47.508 --> 00:01:51.276 so there's still work to be done, because it is a process. 00:01:51.278 --> 00:01:53.645 I want to help you climb your Everest, 00:01:53.647 --> 00:01:57.816 because I know that there is a... amazing, 00:01:57.818 --> 00:02:01.386 productive, confident woman inside of you. 00:02:01.388 --> 00:02:05.791 It's just waiting to break free. 00:02:05.793 --> 00:02:08.293 Will you read the book? 00:02:08.295 --> 00:02:11.497 Put your balls in my mouth. 00:04:29.302 --> 00:04:30.969 Idea for a chapter in new book: 00:04:30.971 --> 00:04:35.507 How important is sex to being a man? 00:04:40.346 --> 00:04:44.182 Note for chapter in new book: 00:04:44.184 --> 00:04:48.553 What's more important in a man, the mental or the physical? 00:04:48.555 --> 00:04:51.690 Idea for chapter in next book: 00:04:51.692 --> 00:04:57.062 Can you truly be an adult without experiencing sex? 00:04:57.064 --> 00:04:58.463 Another chapter: 00:04:58.465 --> 00:05:02.000 Can a person be truly happy without sex? 00:05:06.039 --> 00:05:08.206 - Hey, doc. - Hey, Josh. 00:05:08.208 --> 00:05:10.475 So I took your advice and invited Becky to a movie, 00:05:10.477 --> 00:05:11.843 and she said yes. 00:05:11.845 --> 00:05:14.546 - That's great. - She brought a friend. 00:05:14.548 --> 00:05:17.349 Ooh. Well, doesn't mean she doesn't like you. 00:05:17.351 --> 00:05:19.384 Girls just want their friends' approval. 00:05:19.386 --> 00:05:21.887 - It was a guy. They made out. - Jesus. 00:05:21.889 --> 00:05:24.823 Then he fingered her under her jacket. 00:05:24.825 --> 00:05:26.425 Oh... you okay? 00:05:26.427 --> 00:05:28.360 I was really bummed, but when I got home, 00:05:28.362 --> 00:05:30.429 I just jerked off into a sock, so... 00:05:30.431 --> 00:05:32.964 It may seem trite right now, but I promise you, 00:05:32.966 --> 00:05:34.833 there's plenty of fish in the sea. 00:05:34.835 --> 00:05:36.835 And plenty of socks in the drawer. 00:05:36.837 --> 00:05:40.205 - There you go, buddy. - Catch you later. 00:05:40.207 --> 00:05:43.942 How do you exist moment to moment when you're not a goldfish? 00:05:43.944 --> 00:05:46.244 - Thanks. - -That's not a compliment. 00:05:46.246 --> 00:05:49.748 Guys? Can we at least text whenever we're coming over, please? 00:05:49.750 --> 00:05:52.017 - You gave us a key. - I know, but remember? 00:05:52.019 --> 00:05:53.819 We talked about this. That's for emergencies. 00:05:53.821 --> 00:05:56.521 Jenny thinks I'm at work till 8:00. 00:05:56.523 --> 00:05:58.056 This is emergency fun time. 00:05:58.058 --> 00:06:00.392 You know, it's the kids. I love 'em, 00:06:00.394 --> 00:06:02.427 but we have, like, so little in common. 00:06:02.429 --> 00:06:03.995 They're into cartoons and crayons, 00:06:03.997 --> 00:06:06.531 and I'm just not into that shit right now. 00:06:06.533 --> 00:06:08.533 And, Luke, what's your excuse? 00:06:08.535 --> 00:06:11.403 Rachel's over picking up the rest of her stuff. 00:06:11.405 --> 00:06:15.207 Clothes, furniture, and everything else we shared together. 00:06:15.209 --> 00:06:18.610 - Are you okay? - Oh, yeah. 00:06:18.612 --> 00:06:20.679 No, I'm great. You think she's my type? 00:06:20.681 --> 00:06:23.582 Yeah, she's everyone's type. Swipe right on that. 00:06:23.584 --> 00:06:25.717 Man, if I had knew dating was like this today, 00:06:25.719 --> 00:06:28.019 I wouldn't have been so afraid to break up with Rachel. 00:06:28.021 --> 00:06:31.223 - She broke up with you. -Right. 'Cause I was so afraid of her. 00:06:31.225 --> 00:06:33.859 My point is thought that this is like a whole new world. 00:06:33.861 --> 00:06:35.594 Pete, you gotta get on this, man. 00:06:35.596 --> 00:06:37.729 I'll make you an account. It's so easy. 00:06:37.731 --> 00:06:39.765 What the hell are you guys watching? 00:06:39.767 --> 00:06:42.968 Valkyrie. I think they're about to kill Hitler. 00:06:42.970 --> 00:06:47.239 Spoiler alert! I haven't seen this movie yet. 00:06:47.241 --> 00:06:48.840 - What... - I have a job and kids. 00:06:48.842 --> 00:06:51.243 I don't watch every fucking movie that comes out. 00:06:51.245 --> 00:06:55.013 - But Hitler dies. -Don't...! I'm trying to forget it. 00:06:55.015 --> 00:06:57.249 Michelle's actually having some people over at her house 00:06:57.251 --> 00:06:59.151 and she's testing some new dishes, so I promised to go over. 00:06:59.153 --> 00:07:01.019 - I'm sorry, but I have to leave. - That's great. 00:07:01.021 --> 00:07:02.888 Just make sure you smile a lot. Or, hey, 00:07:02.890 --> 00:07:05.257 we could just kill Charlie and then you could ask her out. 00:07:05.259 --> 00:07:08.326 Wait, wait, wait. Are there gonna be beautiful honeys there? 00:07:08.328 --> 00:07:10.762 Let's do cousins. Wait, no one's gonna believe that. 00:07:10.764 --> 00:07:14.566 We're second cousins, I live in New York, I'm into textiles. 00:07:14.568 --> 00:07:18.170 - Oh, girls love textiles. - I'm not gonna help you cheat. 00:07:18.172 --> 00:07:22.974 No, no, no. Don't wanna cheat, just wanna flirt. Catch and release. 00:07:22.976 --> 00:07:26.912 See if Batman can still fight crime, you know? 00:07:26.914 --> 00:07:29.548 See if Ali can still sting like a bee. 00:07:29.550 --> 00:07:32.350 Can't do it. I'm sorry. What about you, Luke? Do you wanna go? 00:07:32.352 --> 00:07:35.921 Man, I would love to, really, but I'm kind of on a roll here. 00:07:35.923 --> 00:07:38.924 Tonight will be six nights in a row and I just kinda feel 00:07:38.926 --> 00:07:41.159 like I have an obligation for the tinder record. 00:07:41.161 --> 00:07:43.094 - What's the tinder record? - Seventy-one. 00:07:43.096 --> 00:07:45.997 - Good luck with that. - Yeah, definitely go for that. 00:07:45.999 --> 00:07:48.900 Right? I just feel like I haven't done much 00:07:48.902 --> 00:07:51.536 with my life and this could be my thing. 00:07:51.538 --> 00:07:55.807 You gotta do it for my dick. You gotta do it for the dicks of all of us. 00:08:01.214 --> 00:08:03.215 Hey, Nikki. 00:08:03.217 --> 00:08:05.584 Do you hate me? You came alone. 00:08:05.586 --> 00:08:08.386 No. Oh, I was supposed to bring a plus-one. 00:08:08.388 --> 00:08:12.290 Yes, you were supposed to bring a charming, single, wildly employed friend of yours. 00:08:12.292 --> 00:08:14.526 Right. Well, one of my friends is married, 00:08:14.528 --> 00:08:18.029 the other one just got tinder, so he's a little preoccupied. 00:08:18.031 --> 00:08:19.664 How is he getting on? Any luck? 00:08:19.666 --> 00:08:21.233 Because my sister met her boyfriend on there. 00:08:21.235 --> 00:08:23.034 He's actually, I would say professionally, 00:08:23.036 --> 00:08:25.337 getting a little too lucky, if you know what I mean. 00:08:25.339 --> 00:08:27.806 It's good to see you, Nikki. I see Michelle. I'm gonna go say hi. 00:08:27.808 --> 00:08:29.307 Uh-huh. 00:08:29.309 --> 00:08:32.043 You're carrying that ball like a newborn baby, you dick! 00:08:32.045 --> 00:08:34.045 - Hey, Charlie. -That was a four step lay-up! That was blatant! 00:08:34.047 --> 00:08:37.883 I'm watching on a fucking phone and I saw it! 00:08:37.885 --> 00:08:41.853 Yeah, no shit, it was a travel. 00:08:41.855 --> 00:08:43.588 What is he, a goddamn running back? 00:08:43.590 --> 00:08:45.557 Listen, get Connelly to come up with a pic, 00:08:45.559 --> 00:08:48.460 put it on the home page in 31 seconds, or I'm gonna tell your wife 00:08:48.462 --> 00:08:51.029 that the stain in the backseat of your car is hooker blood. 00:08:51.031 --> 00:08:55.033 Okay? Yeah, not kidding. Holy shit, I am pissed. 00:08:55.035 --> 00:08:57.869 Worst officiating since the Kennedy assassination. 00:08:57.871 --> 00:09:00.238 What's up? What do you need? 00:09:00.240 --> 00:09:02.240 I... I'm Pete, Michelle's neighbor. 00:09:02.242 --> 00:09:04.576 Okay. Pleasure to meet you, Pete, Michelle's neighbor. 00:09:04.578 --> 00:09:08.280 - We've met a few times. Yeah. - Oh, really? No shit, huh? 00:09:08.282 --> 00:09:10.682 Wow. I do it all the time. Hate when I do that. 00:09:10.684 --> 00:09:15.487 Listen, gotta get back to the game. It's for work, okay? 00:09:15.489 --> 00:09:18.056 - Hi! - Got you some wine. 00:09:18.058 --> 00:09:20.959 Aw, thanks. I just opened up a bottle of wine. Want a glass? 00:09:20.961 --> 00:09:24.095 Yes. You keep working and I'll pour us a glass. 00:09:24.097 --> 00:09:26.431 Ooh, try this. 00:09:26.433 --> 00:09:31.202 - Huh? - Alright. 00:09:31.204 --> 00:09:33.238 Mm. Oh, my god. 00:09:33.240 --> 00:09:34.973 Yeah? You're not just saying that? 00:09:34.975 --> 00:09:37.175 My taste buds are celebrating as if they've 00:09:37.177 --> 00:09:40.412 been rescued from evil. What the hell is that? 00:09:40.414 --> 00:09:43.682 It's a Chile en Nogada. It's insane prep, three days, 00:09:43.684 --> 00:09:46.084 but it's totally worth it, right? 00:09:46.086 --> 00:09:48.987 You cannot waste this genius on me and your semi-odd friends. 00:09:48.989 --> 00:09:52.357 I don't know. I'm... not ready. 00:09:52.359 --> 00:09:54.526 You say that, but if you don't start now, 00:09:54.528 --> 00:09:57.195 you're never gonna have your own restaurant with a nice big blackboard 00:09:57.197 --> 00:09:59.431 with all your specials for the day 00:09:59.433 --> 00:10:03.635 and some nice food-based puns like "no country for old hens." 00:10:03.637 --> 00:10:06.104 - Or "Ace tempura." - "The Codfather." 00:10:06.106 --> 00:10:09.541 "American snapper," "you've got Kale"... 00:10:09.543 --> 00:10:11.376 - "Raisin Arizona." Um... 00:10:11.378 --> 00:10:13.979 - I'll work on it. - But the music, I gotta say, 00:10:13.981 --> 00:10:15.780 I'll make the mix for you. It'll be great. 00:10:15.782 --> 00:10:17.916 Well, yeah, you're in charge of that. 00:10:17.918 --> 00:10:20.652 I can't leave that to you. You really are ready. 00:10:20.654 --> 00:10:23.121 - You really think so? - Oh, yeah. 00:10:23.123 --> 00:10:26.958 - Mm! - Oh, god! That did not hurt. 00:10:26.960 --> 00:10:29.461 - It was my head. Ahem. - Oh, you want some medicine? 00:10:29.463 --> 00:10:32.664 No, no, I'm fine. People have had headaches before, believe it or not. 00:10:32.666 --> 00:10:34.766 - No! - Yes. Cheers. 00:10:34.768 --> 00:10:36.067 You should probably see a doctor. 00:10:36.069 --> 00:10:38.136 You should probably shut the fuck up. 00:10:38.138 --> 00:10:42.207 Hey, sorry, babe. Sorry, game's been crazy. 00:10:42.209 --> 00:10:45.043 That's okay. You said you weren't gonna work tonight. 00:10:45.045 --> 00:10:48.680 I know, but remember, it's a big game. I was supposed to be there, but I'm not. 00:10:48.682 --> 00:10:50.749 I'm here and I'm glad to be here. Look at this. 00:10:50.751 --> 00:10:52.250 Phone? Going on mute. 00:10:52.252 --> 00:10:55.320 - Huh? You like that? Yeah? - Wow. 00:10:55.322 --> 00:10:57.789 Ooh, fancy cookin', good lookin'. 00:10:57.791 --> 00:10:59.457 What is that? What you got going on there? 00:10:59.459 --> 00:11:00.925 - Well, try it. - Yeah? 00:11:00.927 --> 00:11:05.130 What the hell's that? 00:11:05.132 --> 00:11:09.734 My other phone. I forgot to turn off my other phone. 00:11:09.736 --> 00:11:11.736 Babe, I'm so sorry, I have to take this. 00:11:11.738 --> 00:11:14.139 - It's okay. - Two seconds, I swear, okay? 00:11:14.141 --> 00:11:16.908 I promise, two seconds. Connelly. 00:11:16.910 --> 00:11:18.910 Shut up and tell me! 00:11:18.912 --> 00:11:24.783 - It's really good. - Thanks. 00:11:24.785 --> 00:11:27.419 Another chapter: 00:11:27.421 --> 00:11:31.256 Can there be romantic love... 00:11:31.258 --> 00:11:34.859 Without sex? 00:11:44.804 --> 00:11:48.573 Brenda, the boy's here. 00:11:48.575 --> 00:11:50.508 - Hey, dad. - Hey, pal. 00:11:50.510 --> 00:11:52.777 Hey! 00:11:52.779 --> 00:11:57.048 Namaste. My beautiful boy! 00:11:57.050 --> 00:11:59.617 - I made your favorite brownies. - Mm... 00:11:59.619 --> 00:12:03.354 Okay, tell me, did you do any sexual healing today? 00:12:03.356 --> 00:12:05.390 Do we have to constantly celebrate what the boy does? 00:12:05.392 --> 00:12:07.892 Hey, hon, I just asked him about work. 00:12:07.894 --> 00:12:10.228 Excuse me for being proud of our son. 00:12:10.230 --> 00:12:12.864 Yep, he suppresses people's natural desires. 00:12:12.866 --> 00:12:15.366 - Strike up the band. - Did I tell you this? 00:12:15.368 --> 00:12:18.336 Carmen was complaining the other day about her husband's needs, 00:12:18.338 --> 00:12:20.305 and then I gave her a copy of the book. 00:12:20.307 --> 00:12:23.742 Turns out, he totally is rechanneling his sexual energy, 00:12:23.744 --> 00:12:25.376 putting it into his gardening. 00:12:25.378 --> 00:12:27.579 She brought a squash here the other night, 00:12:27.581 --> 00:12:30.348 - that zucchini that was huge. - I get the connection. 00:12:30.350 --> 00:12:33.518 Anyway, do you want to stay for dinner, hon? 00:12:33.520 --> 00:12:35.386 I can't, I have plans. 00:12:35.388 --> 00:12:38.389 Plans? Like a woman plans? 00:12:38.391 --> 00:12:41.159 It's not like that, mom. 00:12:41.161 --> 00:12:43.962 I worry about you that you work so much, 00:12:43.964 --> 00:12:46.030 you never have time for a girlfriend. 00:12:46.032 --> 00:12:48.933 Alright, that's my cue. I gotta go. 00:12:48.935 --> 00:12:51.636 - Good to see you, dad. See you. - See you, pal. 00:12:51.638 --> 00:12:55.340 - Bye. Thank you. - You're welcome. 00:12:58.911 --> 00:13:01.613 Why do you have to be so negative? 00:13:01.615 --> 00:13:06.751 Pete's very successful. Why don't you just accept him for who he is? 00:13:06.753 --> 00:13:10.955 I don't know who he is. He's not the man I tried to raise him to be. 00:13:10.957 --> 00:13:13.658 Well, okay. Maybe he's not sporty like you are. 00:13:13.660 --> 00:13:18.096 You know, he's light and sweet and spiritual and cute, 00:13:18.098 --> 00:13:20.431 and what better son could you ask for? 00:13:20.433 --> 00:13:23.968 How about the kind I could make some sense of to begin with? 00:13:23.970 --> 00:13:28.706 You know? I mean, who writes books about sex and has never had a girlfriend? 00:13:28.708 --> 00:13:33.444 And if he's gay, okay, great. Our son is gay, yippee. 00:13:33.446 --> 00:13:35.246 But this is... 00:13:35.248 --> 00:13:40.118 I mean, he's... he's... 00:13:40.120 --> 00:13:43.922 I don't know what he is. 00:13:43.924 --> 00:13:45.657 What'd you wanna see me about, boss? 00:13:45.659 --> 00:13:50.195 You're a superstar. 00:13:50.197 --> 00:13:52.697 - I just got the call. - What? What is it? 00:13:52.699 --> 00:13:55.767 Oh, I can't stand it. You're doing a Ned talk! 00:13:55.769 --> 00:13:58.136 How? How did that... How did that...? 00:13:58.138 --> 00:14:01.239 Wh-what... what...? How...? Did they just call, or... 00:14:01.241 --> 00:14:03.775 They don't just call anybody! 00:14:03.777 --> 00:14:07.145 I submitted you, you nutty genius. 00:14:07.147 --> 00:14:09.214 You and your marvelous book. 00:14:09.216 --> 00:14:13.151 I would've told you earlier, but I was afraid they would reject you. 00:14:13.153 --> 00:14:16.020 And there was a very strong possibility of that. 00:14:16.022 --> 00:14:19.490 But they didn't. They accepted us. 00:14:19.492 --> 00:14:20.959 - Oh, my god. - Wow! 00:14:20.961 --> 00:14:24.028 This so amazing for me! And for you! 00:14:24.030 --> 00:14:26.331 Your book is gonna reach millions of people now. 00:14:26.333 --> 00:14:28.099 It's gonna be so good for the clinic. 00:14:28.101 --> 00:14:30.602 - That is amazing. - And that's not all. 00:14:30.604 --> 00:14:36.107 - There's more? -Don't freak out, okay? Promise me. 00:14:36.109 --> 00:14:38.977 Someone pretty important... 00:14:38.979 --> 00:14:44.649 At m... p... 00:14:44.651 --> 00:14:47.318 r wants to interview you. 00:14:47.320 --> 00:14:48.920 Noema Willcoxen? 00:14:48.922 --> 00:14:51.623 She wants to interview you about me, 00:14:51.625 --> 00:14:53.491 and what we do here. 00:14:53.493 --> 00:14:55.126 I'm so excited. 00:14:55.128 --> 00:14:57.395 Noema Willcoxen, wow. 00:14:57.397 --> 00:15:01.399 How could she say no, huh, to the new Tony Robbins? 00:15:01.401 --> 00:15:04.068 Yeah, that's... that is... 00:15:04.070 --> 00:15:06.838 This is happening! 00:15:06.840 --> 00:15:11.843 Thank you so much for all your support, Caroline, 00:15:11.845 --> 00:15:13.745 - what you've done for me. - Well, you know, it wasn't easy. 00:15:13.747 --> 00:15:16.648 - I... -There were a lot of moving parts. 00:15:16.650 --> 00:15:19.951 I mean, logistically, this has been a nightmare. 00:15:19.953 --> 00:15:24.689 But I'm so glad that I made it happen. 00:15:24.691 --> 00:15:26.658 So that's it? - It's just over? 00:15:26.660 --> 00:15:29.394 - You gotta be kidding me! - -Just go! 00:15:32.565 --> 00:15:34.065 Un-fucking-believable. 00:15:34.067 --> 00:15:37.135 She won't even fucking listen to me. 00:15:37.137 --> 00:15:40.705 It's just work, you know? Women. 00:15:40.707 --> 00:15:43.908 You're fucking lucky that you date dudes. 00:15:43.910 --> 00:15:47.779 - No, I'm not... -I'm actually dead serious about that. 00:15:47.781 --> 00:15:52.150 I don't... 00:15:52.152 --> 00:15:54.585 Go away! 00:15:54.587 --> 00:15:59.724 Michelle, it's Pete. 00:15:59.726 --> 00:16:02.026 - Hey. - Hi. 00:16:09.635 --> 00:16:13.004 Uh, yeah, come on in. I'm drinking some wine. 00:16:13.006 --> 00:16:15.707 - Want a glass? - Sure. 00:16:15.709 --> 00:16:18.910 God, I don't even know why I'm still crying. 00:16:18.912 --> 00:16:22.313 So stupid. 00:16:22.315 --> 00:16:26.384 - Is white okay? - Sounds great. 00:16:26.386 --> 00:16:29.087 Okay. 00:16:29.089 --> 00:16:33.491 I really mean it. 00:16:33.493 --> 00:16:37.061 I gotta be done with this guy. 00:16:37.063 --> 00:16:39.931 Whatever the hell Charlie and I had... 00:16:39.933 --> 00:16:42.266 It's not what I want. 00:16:42.268 --> 00:16:46.270 I don't really think that love is supposed to feel like this. 00:16:49.074 --> 00:16:54.078 What does it feel like? 00:16:54.080 --> 00:16:56.681 Well, you know what love feels like. 00:16:56.683 --> 00:16:59.984 Yes, of course. I mean... 00:16:59.986 --> 00:17:04.655 I meant, what does it feel like when you're with Charlie? 00:17:06.659 --> 00:17:11.529 I feel... 00:17:11.531 --> 00:17:14.465 alone. 00:17:14.467 --> 00:17:17.402 His work and himself, it always comes first. 00:17:17.404 --> 00:17:20.405 It's his entire world. And, no, 00:17:20.407 --> 00:17:24.409 it's not even about that. I'm just... 00:17:24.411 --> 00:17:26.544 I'm tired of being an afterthought. 00:17:26.546 --> 00:17:30.581 - Yeah. - Let's sit. 00:17:40.126 --> 00:17:42.760 Michelle, I've known you for a few years, 00:17:42.762 --> 00:17:45.496 and you're pretty damn amazing. 00:17:45.498 --> 00:17:47.398 You're kind, you're funny. 00:17:47.400 --> 00:17:50.168 - I'm hilarious. - You are hilarious. 00:17:50.170 --> 00:17:53.938 And you're not too difficult to look at, if you know what I mean. 00:17:53.940 --> 00:17:57.942 And I do think Charlie does love you, in his own way. 00:17:57.944 --> 00:18:00.078 - Yeah. - Yeah. 00:18:00.080 --> 00:18:04.082 But if he keeps making you feel unnecessary? 00:18:04.084 --> 00:18:08.486 God, ask me to make a great paella and I'll blow your fucking mind, 00:18:10.222 --> 00:18:14.725 but treat me like a doormat, and I'm obviously falling to pieces. 00:18:21.333 --> 00:18:23.401 I know what I need now. 00:18:23.403 --> 00:18:29.207 - Some more wine? - No. 00:18:29.209 --> 00:18:30.775 I need to become a chef. 00:18:30.777 --> 00:18:33.177 I need to transfer all of this energy 00:18:33.179 --> 00:18:39.217 and this sadness into something that I know that I really want... 00:18:39.219 --> 00:18:41.252 And I know that I can do. 00:18:41.254 --> 00:18:46.891 That's a fucking great idea. 00:18:46.893 --> 00:18:49.293 - Thank you. - Of course. 00:18:49.295 --> 00:18:53.998 I don't know what I would do without you. 00:18:54.000 --> 00:18:57.535 You'd do the same for me, wouldn't you? Yeah. 00:19:07.913 --> 00:19:10.181 - I'm sorry. - I... 00:19:10.183 --> 00:19:11.616 I'm so... I'm so sorry. 00:19:11.618 --> 00:19:16.320 - I'm sorry, but i... - No, no. 00:19:16.322 --> 00:19:19.690 - It's okay. Are you okay? - No, I... my head is... 00:19:19.692 --> 00:19:22.527 I think the wine or something... But can I call you tomorrow? 00:19:22.529 --> 00:19:26.497 - Yeah. - Okay, thank you. Sorry. 00:19:51.256 --> 00:19:53.591 What the hell's wrong with me? 00:20:02.801 --> 00:20:04.335 Pete? 00:20:04.337 --> 00:20:06.304 - Pete, wake up! - -Wake-upsies! 00:20:06.306 --> 00:20:08.072 - Your friends are here, Pete! - Wake up! 00:20:08.074 --> 00:20:10.808 - Hi, Pete! -Oh, my god, Pete! It's an emergency! 00:20:10.810 --> 00:20:13.444 - What happened?! - I was talking to him! 00:20:13.446 --> 00:20:16.480 - Pete! Hey... - Hey, buddy, how are you? 00:20:16.482 --> 00:20:18.216 What the hell are you guys doing here? 00:20:18.218 --> 00:20:19.483 We have a basketball game 00:20:19.485 --> 00:20:20.818 and you're not dressed. 00:20:20.820 --> 00:20:24.455 I have a massive... Headache right now, 00:20:24.457 --> 00:20:27.558 so I want you to turn around and leave my house... 00:20:27.560 --> 00:20:29.560 Not gonna happen. Left Jenny and the kids at home 00:20:29.562 --> 00:20:31.329 to play three-on-three with you guys. 00:20:31.331 --> 00:20:34.599 If I go home and haven't played basketball, she's gonna know, 00:20:34.601 --> 00:20:37.235 then it's gonna be considered non-basketball-related "me time" 00:20:37.237 --> 00:20:40.504 and then she's gonna want non-activity-related "her time," 00:20:40.506 --> 00:20:42.473 and it's gonna upset the whole ecosystem. 00:20:42.475 --> 00:20:45.943 - It's a whole thing, so get up. - Okay, I will go. 00:20:45.945 --> 00:20:51.315 Did you get food? 00:20:51.317 --> 00:20:55.786 - Who is it? - It's Michelle. Hold on. 00:20:55.788 --> 00:20:57.688 - Hey. - Hey. 00:20:57.690 --> 00:21:00.691 Um... 00:21:00.693 --> 00:21:05.496 Listen, I just... I just wanted to say... thank you. 00:21:05.498 --> 00:21:08.266 Thank you for being there for me yesterday. 00:21:08.268 --> 00:21:10.801 It's Pete, you know...? 00:21:10.803 --> 00:21:13.104 - He's right, it's Michelle. - I figured he wouldn't be lying. 00:21:13.106 --> 00:21:17.041 - But what's the vibe? -Well, it's kinda casual. Like, not very fancy. 00:21:17.043 --> 00:21:19.143 So they're not at a fancy restaurant out there? 00:21:19.145 --> 00:21:20.544 No, she's not dressed up or anything. 00:21:20.546 --> 00:21:22.513 I just really needed to talk to somebody, 00:21:22.515 --> 00:21:24.715 and... I really only wanted to talk to you. 00:21:24.717 --> 00:21:28.219 So I really appreciate that you were there. 00:21:28.221 --> 00:21:31.322 And sorry if, you know, things got weird, 00:21:31.324 --> 00:21:34.525 and, you know, like, we kissed and stuff, 00:21:34.527 --> 00:21:38.462 - or whatever. - I'm here for you. 00:21:45.538 --> 00:21:48.406 She went in for an emotional hug 00:21:48.408 --> 00:21:52.076 and he chose... A back-slapper. 00:21:52.078 --> 00:21:56.314 He wants cock. I don't understand why he just won't embrace some cock. 00:21:56.316 --> 00:21:57.715 Let him have cock if he wants cock. 00:21:57.717 --> 00:22:00.751 Okay, $47 to stop saying cock, okay? 00:22:00.753 --> 00:22:02.753 Have you ever seen him look twice at a dude? No. 00:22:02.755 --> 00:22:06.657 Enough with the gay thing. We're not children. Don't say "cock." 00:22:06.659 --> 00:22:09.060 - Cock. - Don't...! 00:22:09.062 --> 00:22:11.395 - Sorry, I didn't mean to. - Say cock! 00:22:11.397 --> 00:22:14.598 Cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock... 00:22:15.734 --> 00:22:17.835 Seriously, why won't you even try? 00:22:17.837 --> 00:22:21.072 I mean, fresh off a breakup, that's strike time! 00:22:21.074 --> 00:22:23.107 - I mean, that's when you do it. - Yeah, go for it. 00:22:23.109 --> 00:22:24.642 Sure, that's what you would do. 00:22:24.644 --> 00:22:26.377 You would take advantage of the situation. 00:22:26.379 --> 00:22:29.814 I believe that Michelle needed actual kindness last night. 00:22:29.816 --> 00:22:31.849 - No. I bet she didn't. - Genuine kindness. 00:22:31.851 --> 00:22:33.584 - I bet what she wanted... - Was penis. 00:22:33.586 --> 00:22:35.219 Yeah, was a nice penis. 00:22:35.221 --> 00:22:37.788 Do you really wanna be the guy that women confide in? 00:22:37.790 --> 00:22:40.124 - Oh, god, no. No, no, no. - Yeah, you don't. 00:22:40.126 --> 00:22:42.993 Then I'd have to make a highly successful career out of that. 00:22:42.995 --> 00:22:44.562 Alright, you don't have to say "highly successful." 00:22:44.564 --> 00:22:47.298 Michelle confides in me because she trusts me. 00:22:47.300 --> 00:22:50.434 - That's the point. -Yeah, but therapists can be fucked up 00:22:50.436 --> 00:22:53.437 in their personal lives, too. I mean, Freud banged his mom. 00:22:53.439 --> 00:22:57.708 - You're an idiot. -Mm-hmm. Pretty sure they wrote a play about it. 00:22:57.710 --> 00:23:00.711 So it's nine days in Santa Barbara that could potentially change your life. 00:23:00.713 --> 00:23:02.580 What's there to think about? 00:23:02.582 --> 00:23:06.250 Nine days? I'll never get that time off from the gallery. 00:23:06.252 --> 00:23:08.185 Oh, yes, you will, if you ask. 00:23:08.187 --> 00:23:10.988 You haven't taken a vacation since I've known you. 00:23:10.990 --> 00:23:15.192 Besides, it's not a vacation, it's the start of your career. 00:23:15.194 --> 00:23:18.429 Now you sound like Pete. He'd be so thrilled if I did this. 00:23:18.431 --> 00:23:22.566 - Okay, about Pete... - He's not gay. 00:23:22.568 --> 00:23:24.835 I think he's a serial killer. 00:23:24.837 --> 00:23:26.604 I do. 00:23:26.606 --> 00:23:28.439 He's always 'round here mincing around 00:23:28.441 --> 00:23:31.242 with that small waist. Ugh. Creepy. 00:23:31.244 --> 00:23:33.544 And the way he looks at you, that's not love. 00:23:33.546 --> 00:23:35.079 He's clocking your every move. 00:23:35.081 --> 00:23:37.848 I don't like it. I don't like it, Michelle. 00:23:37.850 --> 00:23:40.317 And he dresses better than both of us. 00:23:40.319 --> 00:23:42.153 That is gay or serial killer. 00:23:42.155 --> 00:23:45.055 Well, I think that he's very... 00:23:45.057 --> 00:23:47.224 Kind and he's genuine. 00:23:47.226 --> 00:23:51.362 And when I'm around him, I feel... I feel safe. 00:23:51.364 --> 00:23:54.698 Listen, I'm sorry, at some point, guys need sex. 00:23:54.700 --> 00:23:58.569 - Have you tried it on with him? - Last night, I was... 00:23:58.571 --> 00:24:01.071 I was feeling really shitty about the whole Charlie situation 00:24:01.073 --> 00:24:05.910 and I was feeling very vulnerable, and... I kissed him. 00:24:05.912 --> 00:24:07.678 Mm-hmm. 00:24:07.680 --> 00:24:11.615 And he didn't take advantage of that. 00:24:14.019 --> 00:24:17.188 Classic serial killer. 00:24:17.190 --> 00:24:21.725 - Ooh! Welcome back, ladies. - Double or nothing. 00:24:21.727 --> 00:24:25.930 - Okay, $200 it is. -Remind me why you assholes didn't pay last time? 00:24:25.932 --> 00:24:27.932 'Cause your mother needed help with the rent. 00:24:27.934 --> 00:24:31.569 Okay, let's leave the mothers out of it today, rich, 00:24:31.571 --> 00:24:35.539 and let's get our head in the game, play a little basketball, okay? 00:24:35.541 --> 00:24:37.374 You heard dickless, let's go. 00:24:43.915 --> 00:24:45.182 Oh! 00:25:03.703 --> 00:25:06.537 Yeah! Straight out of cobra, bitch! 00:25:45.545 --> 00:25:47.344 - What time do you get off? - Midnight. 00:25:47.346 --> 00:25:49.446 - Luke, she's working. - Took a shot to the nuts. 00:25:49.448 --> 00:25:50.848 Might've also dinged his melon, 00:25:50.850 --> 00:25:53.250 'cause he dropped like a box of rocks. 00:25:53.252 --> 00:25:55.819 Alright, just checking for internal bleeding. 00:25:55.821 --> 00:25:57.922 Just to be safe, let's order up a cat scan. 00:25:57.924 --> 00:26:00.157 - How's your insurance? - I'm a PHD. 00:26:00.159 --> 00:26:02.259 Yahtzee. You know what? Make it a cat scan and an MRI. 00:26:02.261 --> 00:26:05.296 - My head is fine. -Look, we just need to be certain, 00:26:05.298 --> 00:26:07.731 so just take it easy, alright? I'm gonna do a quick examination. 00:26:07.733 --> 00:26:10.601 Just try to relax for me. Nurse, let's take a closer look, please. 00:26:10.603 --> 00:26:16.040 - No, no, no! -I just wanna see if everything has adjusted on its own. 00:26:16.042 --> 00:26:18.509 Damn, they're like little quail eggs. 00:26:23.249 --> 00:26:26.116 I've got some, uh, rather serious MRI results. 00:26:26.118 --> 00:26:29.320 We found a brain tumor, benign, thankfully, but quite sizable. 00:26:29.322 --> 00:26:32.856 - Jesus. -It's probably been there for many years, 00:26:32.858 --> 00:26:35.125 pressed up against your pituitary gland. 00:26:35.127 --> 00:26:37.628 The pressure it's applied has caused your body 00:26:37.630 --> 00:26:39.229 to produce the female hormone prolactin, 00:26:39.231 --> 00:26:41.365 which has blocked your normal male development. 00:26:41.367 --> 00:26:44.168 We found just trace amounts of testosterone. 00:26:44.170 --> 00:26:49.940 Basically, you've never gone through puberty. 00:26:49.942 --> 00:26:54.078 - I have a brain tumor? - Yes. 00:26:58.516 --> 00:27:02.286 That... 00:27:02.288 --> 00:27:04.121 is.... 00:27:04.123 --> 00:27:07.157 Awesome. 00:27:07.159 --> 00:27:08.459 That is awesome! 00:27:08.461 --> 00:27:11.328 Okay, well, seems you're in shock, but... 00:27:11.330 --> 00:27:13.197 See, I thought I was a freak! I thought, 00:27:13.199 --> 00:27:14.932 you're different, but what am I? 00:27:14.934 --> 00:27:16.533 I thought, you're some kind of anomaly, 00:27:16.535 --> 00:27:18.636 but what the fuck kind of weirdo we talking about? 00:27:18.638 --> 00:27:20.304 And you're saying I'm normal? 00:27:20.306 --> 00:27:22.406 Yes. That would explain why you've never physically matured, 00:27:22.408 --> 00:27:25.175 - the lack of hair, the boy balls. - The what? 00:27:25.177 --> 00:27:28.946 Sometimes the nurses coin a phrase that sticks in your head. 00:27:28.948 --> 00:27:31.815 This is the best damn day of my life. 00:27:31.817 --> 00:27:34.351 - So what do we do now? - Well, given its placement, 00:27:34.353 --> 00:27:36.654 I think we can remove it fairly easily through your nose. 00:27:36.656 --> 00:27:41.058 You're gonna take this life-sucking, puberty-fucking tumor 00:27:41.060 --> 00:27:42.559 out of my brain through my nose? 00:27:42.561 --> 00:27:44.795 Can we go now? 00:27:44.797 --> 00:27:48.198 But why couldn't you tell your best friends that you're a weirdo? 00:27:48.200 --> 00:27:51.001 - You don't have to answer that. - Why? 00:27:51.003 --> 00:27:53.604 Because you just did! You called him a weirdo! 00:27:53.606 --> 00:27:57.908 No, but he has a point. Who wants to be treated like the elephant man? 00:27:57.910 --> 00:28:00.177 But, like, you still could've told us. 00:28:00.179 --> 00:28:02.780 I mean, who we gonna tell? Maybe my sisters, but they're, 00:28:02.782 --> 00:28:06.250 - like, in seventh grade. - Don't tell your sisters. 00:28:06.252 --> 00:28:08.085 I'm really close to my sisters. 00:28:08.087 --> 00:28:10.087 That's okay. But do you tell them 00:28:10.089 --> 00:28:13.424 - every time you masturbate? - Not every time. 00:28:13.426 --> 00:28:15.125 Hang on, Pete. 00:28:15.127 --> 00:28:18.128 So after puberty didn't happen, weren't you, like, 00:28:18.130 --> 00:28:22.166 "this is fucked up. I'm really worried about this"? 00:28:22.168 --> 00:28:24.068 Of course! Yes! I was worried of people finding out. 00:28:24.070 --> 00:28:26.170 I was worried that people were gonna find out 00:28:26.172 --> 00:28:27.905 I was a freakazoid with baby balls who'd... 00:28:27.907 --> 00:28:31.275 never even had an erection before. 00:28:31.277 --> 00:28:35.045 But didn't you think a doctor could maybe figure out... 00:28:35.047 --> 00:28:37.981 No. I never told a doctor about this. Are you crazy? 00:28:37.983 --> 00:28:40.718 Right, 'cause they'd make fun of you? 00:28:40.720 --> 00:28:44.655 No, that's not it at all. 00:28:44.657 --> 00:28:47.091 I was... 00:28:47.093 --> 00:28:49.993 Scared shitless that they'd tell me 00:28:49.995 --> 00:28:51.962 that I would be like this forever. 00:28:51.964 --> 00:28:53.831 And all I ever wanted was to be normal, 00:28:53.833 --> 00:28:55.899 and I couldn't let a doctor kill my hope 00:28:55.901 --> 00:28:58.001 that normal was possible. 00:28:58.003 --> 00:29:02.272 Dude, that actually makes sense. That's, like, super zen. 00:29:02.274 --> 00:29:04.341 I mean, this is great. You're normal now. 00:29:04.343 --> 00:29:07.044 You got to tell Michelle, play the sympathy card, right? 00:29:07.046 --> 00:29:10.948 - No. -I'm gonna hate myself in the morning 00:29:10.950 --> 00:29:13.183 for saying this, but that could actually be 00:29:13.185 --> 00:29:15.419 the greatest closing line of all time. 00:29:15.421 --> 00:29:17.755 "Hey, baby, I've never had an erection, 00:29:17.757 --> 00:29:22.493 and I just had elective surgery to remove a tumor from my brain 00:29:22.495 --> 00:29:24.628 and I'm getting my first erection, 00:29:24.630 --> 00:29:28.432 looking for the right girl to utilize it on." 00:29:28.434 --> 00:29:31.902 Neither one of you fucking say a word to Michelle! Okay? 00:29:31.904 --> 00:29:34.238 Besides, we don't even know what's gonna come of this. 00:29:34.240 --> 00:29:37.975 Well, hopefully you are. 00:29:37.977 --> 00:29:41.345 Gonna come from this? 00:29:41.347 --> 00:29:46.250 - You know? -You mean, like... Like ejaculating? 00:29:46.252 --> 00:29:49.686 Yes. C-u-m. 00:29:49.688 --> 00:29:53.857 It's c-o-m-e. 00:29:53.859 --> 00:29:55.926 Recovery should be fairly quick. 00:29:55.928 --> 00:29:58.762 But you'll have to take a few weeks off work. 00:29:58.764 --> 00:30:01.965 You're gonna be okay. There's nothing to worry about. 00:30:01.967 --> 00:30:04.868 Actually, more like champagne grapes. 00:30:04.870 --> 00:30:10.174 Yeah, they are. Yeah. 00:30:10.176 --> 00:30:13.343 Yeah, I'm still feeling great. 00:30:13.345 --> 00:30:17.815 Hi, honey. We're here for you. 00:30:17.817 --> 00:30:20.217 I'm sorry we let you down. 00:30:20.219 --> 00:30:23.754 We're not doctors so, you know, how could we...? 00:30:23.756 --> 00:30:25.355 How you feeling? 00:30:25.357 --> 00:30:27.491 When rich told me that the tumor 00:30:27.493 --> 00:30:30.694 had kept you trapped inside the body of a 7th-grader 00:30:30.696 --> 00:30:33.931 and that's why you've never had sex or an erection, 00:30:33.933 --> 00:30:36.733 I felt so happy for you. 00:30:36.735 --> 00:30:39.736 This hospital smells so bad... 00:30:39.738 --> 00:30:43.006 But... you smell really good. 00:30:43.008 --> 00:30:47.744 Now you'll be able to experience the full essence of your masculinity. 00:30:47.746 --> 00:30:51.215 Yeah, right. How about that, pal? 00:30:51.217 --> 00:30:55.619 Just... I don't know, kind of reminds me of sex. 00:30:55.621 --> 00:30:57.187 Do you wonder what it looks like? 00:30:57.189 --> 00:30:58.789 - Just do it. - I'm not gonna do it. 00:30:58.791 --> 00:31:00.157 - Just do it. You're bros. - Okay. 00:31:00.159 --> 00:31:02.259 Just pull back the covers. 00:31:02.261 --> 00:31:05.963 - Oh! - Oh-ho... that's... sweet. 00:31:05.965 --> 00:31:08.131 That's gonna improve. 00:31:08.133 --> 00:31:11.501 Well, the surgery was a success. 00:31:11.503 --> 00:31:14.371 It may take a while before you start noticing changes, 00:31:14.373 --> 00:31:20.477 but, uh... just focus on your recovery. 00:31:20.479 --> 00:31:22.813 Finally gonna be a man. 00:31:22.815 --> 00:31:25.816 And good luck with that. 00:31:28.954 --> 00:31:31.889 I'm channeling from your spirit guide. 00:31:31.891 --> 00:31:34.358 May the great goddess shakti... 00:31:34.360 --> 00:31:38.061 Inspire this blessed heart... 00:31:38.063 --> 00:31:40.631 And may the universal energy... 00:31:40.633 --> 00:31:44.368 Bring joy and life up through the heart, 00:31:44.370 --> 00:31:47.771 out into the universe through this human body. 00:31:47.773 --> 00:31:53.844 Thank you to our brothers and sisters of the Pleiades. 00:31:53.846 --> 00:31:58.982 Namaste. 00:31:58.984 --> 00:32:02.452 Thank you, mom. I really like recouping here. 00:32:02.454 --> 00:32:04.821 We all love you, honey. 00:32:04.823 --> 00:32:08.025 We all love you! 00:32:08.027 --> 00:32:11.495 Look at you! 00:32:46.065 --> 00:32:49.299 Everything alright in there? 00:32:49.301 --> 00:32:54.705 Yep. 00:32:54.707 --> 00:32:57.774 - Hey. - Hey, how's it going, buddy? 00:32:57.776 --> 00:33:01.378 You getting wood yet? Sorry. 00:33:01.380 --> 00:33:02.846 - We talked about this. - Right. 00:33:02.848 --> 00:33:04.915 You said you're gonna go in, grab his penis. 00:33:04.917 --> 00:33:07.150 I said don't do it. You said you wouldn't. 00:33:07.152 --> 00:33:09.086 Sorry. I'm sorry. We've just been talking 00:33:09.088 --> 00:33:10.454 about whether you got wood or not, 00:33:10.456 --> 00:33:11.922 and I've just been thinking about it, 00:33:11.924 --> 00:33:13.123 and I just wanted to see if you did. 00:33:13.125 --> 00:33:14.958 I feel the same as I did before, 00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:18.395 and I'm starting to worry that the surgery might not have worked. 00:33:18.397 --> 00:33:20.130 Of course it worked! You were at a hospital 00:33:20.132 --> 00:33:21.965 with doctors who went to school for this sort of thing. 00:33:21.967 --> 00:33:25.135 I can't go back to living the way that I lived before, 00:33:25.137 --> 00:33:27.471 knowing what I know now. 00:33:27.473 --> 00:33:29.639 It's going to work, and trust me, 00:33:29.641 --> 00:33:32.309 you are going to love sporting wood. 00:33:32.311 --> 00:33:34.978 I do it all the time. As much as I can. I love it. 00:33:34.980 --> 00:33:38.081 - Yeah, he tells me about it each time. - Yeah, you know. 00:33:38.083 --> 00:33:40.017 You definitely don't have to text me, 00:33:40.019 --> 00:33:42.252 because my wife and I, we share a cloud. 00:33:42.254 --> 00:33:44.187 Don't talk to my wife about your penis! 00:33:44.189 --> 00:33:47.224 Fine! I'll get you a different phone or something so I can text you. 00:33:47.226 --> 00:33:49.059 It's not... I don't need a burner for your penis. 00:33:49.061 --> 00:33:50.794 How about this? How about one time, 00:33:50.796 --> 00:33:53.563 you masturbate, don't tell me, see how that affects your life? 00:33:53.565 --> 00:33:55.932 - I'm not gonna like that. - I have a question. 00:33:55.934 --> 00:33:59.102 If you could never actually physically perform... 00:33:59.104 --> 00:34:02.305 - Mm-hmm. - Like have sex with somebody. 00:34:02.307 --> 00:34:05.742 - Mm-hm. -What about that time in high school 00:34:05.744 --> 00:34:07.577 that you told us about? 00:34:07.579 --> 00:34:10.447 Well, um, technically, there was penetration. 00:34:10.449 --> 00:34:14.351 - Great. -But, technically, I was not erect. 00:34:14.353 --> 00:34:17.354 So, technically, it was the worst day of my life. 00:34:17.356 --> 00:34:20.490 How did you get it all in there if it's not hard? 00:34:20.492 --> 00:34:23.060 She said it was like making love to a boneless thumb. 00:34:23.062 --> 00:34:26.263 - Ah... so specific. - And right now, 00:34:26.265 --> 00:34:29.366 I got nothing. Zero. Nothing happening down there. 00:34:29.368 --> 00:34:31.401 Got the penis of Stephen Hawking at the moment. 00:34:31.403 --> 00:34:33.170 I don't wanna split hairs, but Stephen Hawking 00:34:33.172 --> 00:34:35.072 could actually get an erection. 00:34:35.074 --> 00:34:37.340 But you're trying to say that your penis is brilliant. 00:34:37.342 --> 00:34:42.079 Alright, well, for your Stephen Hawking, 00:34:42.081 --> 00:34:44.714 we have brought a black hole... 00:34:44.716 --> 00:34:47.984 - Well... - That... seemed disrespectful. 00:34:47.986 --> 00:34:49.453 It's gonna be great. 00:34:49.455 --> 00:34:52.856 Come on in. So sorry we kept you waiting. 00:34:52.858 --> 00:34:55.792 Pete, Montana is a professional stripper. 00:34:55.794 --> 00:35:01.498 Who we've brought here to give you a boner. 00:35:01.500 --> 00:35:03.133 I felt like that subtext was very clear. 00:35:03.135 --> 00:35:05.268 - I got you. - Do you get it? 00:35:05.270 --> 00:35:07.904 - Yeah. - Cool. Very cool. 00:35:07.906 --> 00:35:12.109 So, Montana... do your thing. 00:35:16.582 --> 00:35:19.082 - Huh? Huh? 00:35:19.084 --> 00:35:22.052 Get out. 00:35:22.054 --> 00:35:24.421 - Mm-mm... - No... 00:35:24.423 --> 00:35:28.492 - Just go. - Um, we did pay for it... 00:35:28.494 --> 00:35:30.227 Her. Her. 00:35:30.229 --> 00:35:33.630 If one thing leads to another, we could always pay you more. 00:35:33.632 --> 00:35:36.533 We won't tell the cops if you guys have sex. 00:35:42.573 --> 00:35:45.876 - Shhh! Don't fucking... 00:35:57.989 --> 00:36:01.191 - I'm hard. -But don't tell me. We just discussed this. 00:36:10.201 --> 00:36:13.570 - Wow! That's actually impressive. - Thanks, man. 00:36:22.047 --> 00:36:26.116 - How's it going up there? - Oh, uh, pretty good. 00:36:26.118 --> 00:36:29.452 She's a great gal. I think she's got his best interests in mind. 00:36:29.454 --> 00:36:32.923 - Yeah, she's a hooker, Luke. - Right. 00:36:42.900 --> 00:36:45.569 It's not you. Let me just put it that way. 00:36:45.571 --> 00:36:47.637 I've been through an immense amount of pressure, 00:36:47.639 --> 00:36:49.757 personal stress, since about the age of... 00:36:49.782 --> 00:36:50.840 honey, it's okay. 00:36:50.842 --> 00:36:54.444 I've been thinking about getting my real-estate license. 00:37:37.488 --> 00:37:42.325 Petey? Breakfast is ready! 00:37:42.327 --> 00:37:46.196 I will eat your eggs! 00:37:46.198 --> 00:37:50.900 Hey, Carmen, can you get me some more orange juice, please? 00:37:50.902 --> 00:37:53.536 And cut up some apples in little tiny pieces. 00:37:53.538 --> 00:37:55.505 - Good morning. - Good morning, hon. 00:37:55.507 --> 00:38:00.010 Hey, pal. 00:38:00.012 --> 00:38:02.646 - Oh, my god! - Oh! 00:38:02.648 --> 00:38:05.448 - The flame has arisen! - Touchdown! 00:38:05.450 --> 00:38:08.718 Ha-ha-ha! He could put out an eye with that one. 00:38:08.720 --> 00:38:11.721 It's like he's got the Sunday times rolled up in there. 00:38:11.723 --> 00:38:13.556 - Don't be embarrassed! - Embarrassed? 00:38:13.558 --> 00:38:16.393 Be proud, young man! Take a victory lap! 00:38:16.395 --> 00:38:20.864 Ha-ha-ha-ha! 00:38:20.866 --> 00:38:23.700 We got one! 00:38:23.702 --> 00:38:27.871 - Thanks for everything, guys! 00:38:27.873 --> 00:38:30.040 You're not stepping out that door until you have some breakfast. 00:38:30.042 --> 00:38:32.409 - Thanks, mom, I'm really... - Let him go, hon. 00:38:32.411 --> 00:38:36.346 It's time to get on that field and score. 00:38:36.348 --> 00:38:38.048 - Gotta go! Gotta go! - Call me! 00:38:38.050 --> 00:38:40.617 - Tell me what happens! Call me! - Okay, I will! 00:39:09.513 --> 00:39:12.816 - Luke. - Pete! What are you doing here? 00:39:12.818 --> 00:39:17.420 Or, no, it's your house. That's what you're doing here. But like, today, 00:39:17.422 --> 00:39:19.489 I thought you were gonna get here... tomorrow. 00:39:19.491 --> 00:39:23.760 But it's so awesome to see you. I'm so glad you're here. C'mere. 00:39:23.762 --> 00:39:27.230 - Ah! Naked! Get off me. -I know you said emergencies only, but... 00:39:27.232 --> 00:39:31.935 Rosalyn wanted a place to... Have sex with me. 00:39:31.937 --> 00:39:35.905 - So we came here. -Your bed was really comfortable. 00:39:35.907 --> 00:39:39.275 - You used my fucking bed? - We did it everywhere. 00:39:39.277 --> 00:39:41.077 Get the fuck out. Get out. 00:39:41.079 --> 00:39:43.546 - Did I do something wrong? - Get out. Get out. 00:39:43.548 --> 00:39:45.248 - Get out. - Both of us? 00:39:45.250 --> 00:39:46.983 - Both of you. - Now? 00:39:46.985 --> 00:39:49.853 - Yeah, get out. Get out. - I guess we have to go. 00:39:49.855 --> 00:39:52.822 - Yeah, that's a good idea. - Dude! Congratulations! 00:39:52.824 --> 00:39:55.425 - That's awesome! That's great! - Fuck! 00:39:55.427 --> 00:39:56.960 Rich is gonna be so excited! 00:39:56.962 --> 00:39:58.895 Let's go. Let's give him some privacy. 00:39:58.897 --> 00:40:01.131 He just got a boner for the first time. 00:41:30.821 --> 00:41:32.922 I'm pretty sure I've got carpal tunnel syndrome. 00:41:32.924 --> 00:41:35.892 - It's part of the process. - My son is already starting. 00:41:35.894 --> 00:41:39.362 The other day, I walked in on him, he's watching Spongebob, 00:41:39.364 --> 00:41:41.731 his six-year-old Wang is in a bowl of apple sauce. 00:41:41.733 --> 00:41:44.734 - Wow. What'd you do? - Shut the door, 00:41:44.736 --> 00:41:47.770 - gave him his privacy. - Oh, that's what's up. 00:41:47.772 --> 00:41:50.340 You know, every moment, it seems to be a new thought, 00:41:50.342 --> 00:41:53.476 like a new realization, and most of them are good. 00:41:53.478 --> 00:41:57.780 Like I know for a 100% fact that I definitely wanna be with Michelle now. 00:41:57.782 --> 00:42:00.316 But I'm freaked out. What if she's not into me? 00:42:00.318 --> 00:42:03.987 But also what if she does like me? Now I have something to actually do about it. 00:42:03.989 --> 00:42:05.811 Why can't I stop jerking off? 00:42:05.836 --> 00:42:09.959 Last night, I jerked it to just the theme from game of thrones. 00:42:09.961 --> 00:42:12.161 I couldn't even hold out for Khaleesi. 00:42:12.163 --> 00:42:15.999 The need to Jack off is right there next to the need to breathe. Okay? 00:42:16.001 --> 00:42:19.302 Wanna know how much baby batter I've shot since I was 13? 00:42:19.304 --> 00:42:23.172 - No. - Twice per day, times... 00:42:23.174 --> 00:42:25.909 And I did the weekends, three times more... 00:42:25.911 --> 00:42:31.080 Jesus. That's, like, 3.5 million seconds. 00:42:31.082 --> 00:42:33.016 Of course you're more successful than I am. 00:42:33.018 --> 00:42:35.084 You've had so much more time to get shit done. 00:42:35.086 --> 00:42:36.986 If I had all my jerk-off time back, 00:42:36.988 --> 00:42:40.790 who knows, I could've been... The leader of the free world 00:42:40.792 --> 00:42:44.527 instead of just... West valley Honda. 00:42:44.529 --> 00:42:46.496 How are women not running everything? 00:42:46.498 --> 00:42:48.631 No, trust me, women masturbate too. 00:42:48.633 --> 00:42:52.602 No shit, murder she wrote. Is there anything else I can get for you? 00:42:52.604 --> 00:42:56.873 - I'm Luke. - I'm off at 5:30. 00:42:56.875 --> 00:43:00.176 - Are you a hypnotist? - Yeah. 00:43:03.914 --> 00:43:05.949 - Pete! Hola! - Hi. 00:43:05.951 --> 00:43:07.984 Hey, I've been dying to talk to you. 00:43:07.986 --> 00:43:10.219 I have to go to Santa Barbara for a week or so. 00:43:10.221 --> 00:43:13.389 I got accepted into this new program that Bobby flay is sponsoring. 00:43:13.391 --> 00:43:15.758 And the end of it, he's gonna select one of us 00:43:15.760 --> 00:43:19.195 to be his sous-chef at a new restaurant that he's opening up in L.A. 00:43:19.197 --> 00:43:20.763 - Holy cow! Yes! - I know! 00:43:20.765 --> 00:43:22.599 I can't believe I made it. 00:43:22.601 --> 00:43:25.702 I had to submit one of my dishes and I guess they liked it enough. 00:43:25.704 --> 00:43:31.307 So this is maybe my path to becoming a chef, and it's mostly your fault. 00:43:32.309 --> 00:43:34.010 - Come here. - Uh-oh! 00:43:34.012 --> 00:43:37.113 Just realized I'm late and I gotta go. I'm so sorry. 00:43:37.115 --> 00:43:39.248 I would love to hang out with you before I leave. 00:43:39.250 --> 00:43:42.352 - Me, too. I would love that. - Okay. 00:43:53.797 --> 00:43:59.268 Pete, welcome back! Ooh, you moisturize. So soft. 00:43:59.270 --> 00:44:01.904 So great to have you back. 00:44:11.081 --> 00:44:15.785 You know, I'm trying to rechannel my sexual energy, 00:44:15.787 --> 00:44:18.621 but quite frankly, it's been very difficult, 00:44:18.623 --> 00:44:21.224 it's been a challenge for me. 00:44:21.226 --> 00:44:24.127 Well, don't beat yourself up too much, because 00:44:24.129 --> 00:44:27.063 if change was easy, I'd be out of work. 00:44:27.065 --> 00:44:32.301 You know, the thing is, it's a common misconception: 00:44:32.303 --> 00:44:35.071 Being a furry is not just about having sex. 00:44:35.073 --> 00:44:39.876 People think that, but it's more of a lifestyle than anything else, you know? 00:44:49.988 --> 00:44:52.288 Y'know, it's about the memories that you make, 00:44:52.290 --> 00:44:55.992 the friends that you Cherish and it's about the... 00:44:55.994 --> 00:44:57.627 The butts that you sniff, you know? 00:44:57.629 --> 00:44:59.896 Once you get your snout up a couple of good ones, 00:44:59.898 --> 00:45:01.464 it's like eating potato chips: 00:45:01.466 --> 00:45:04.200 You just keep getting back into that bag 00:45:04.202 --> 00:45:07.603 until there's nothing left, until it's just a big greasy bag 00:45:07.605 --> 00:45:13.176 and you're licking your fingers at the end. Did you hear that? 00:45:13.178 --> 00:45:16.779 Somebody opening up a... can? 00:45:16.781 --> 00:45:19.849 I think I understand your frustration. 00:45:19.851 --> 00:45:25.088 Being reduced to animal instincts. 00:45:25.090 --> 00:45:28.825 Being dominated like a dog or a cat. 00:45:28.827 --> 00:45:32.929 Climbing into the lap of a... of a lover. 00:45:32.931 --> 00:45:36.365 Feeling those warm loins next to you... 00:45:36.367 --> 00:45:38.668 While she... 00:45:38.670 --> 00:45:41.037 Rubs her fingers through your hair 00:45:41.039 --> 00:45:45.007 and you just... Yeah. Oh, yeah. 00:45:45.009 --> 00:45:47.110 That's a huge turn-on. 00:45:47.112 --> 00:45:50.313 What the fuck is happening here? Are you... 00:45:50.315 --> 00:45:55.118 I'm so sorry, are you hitting on me? 00:45:55.120 --> 00:45:57.920 - My mistake. - -Jennifer is 24, 00:45:57.922 --> 00:45:59.822 and she's a tango instructor. 00:45:59.824 --> 00:46:01.691 You know, very limber with the body. 00:46:01.693 --> 00:46:06.429 And she has just totally opened me up sexually, okay? 00:46:06.431 --> 00:46:09.599 So, last night, she wanted me to do something, 00:46:09.601 --> 00:46:11.267 you know, a little different. 00:46:11.269 --> 00:46:14.370 So she said, "could you just peg me?" 00:46:14.372 --> 00:46:16.639 I didn't even know what the hell that meant. 00:46:16.641 --> 00:46:19.342 I mean, I'm from Connecticut, for Godssakes. 00:46:19.344 --> 00:46:21.811 But apparently it has something to do with a strap-on. 00:46:21.813 --> 00:46:23.479 So I put this strap-on on. 00:46:23.481 --> 00:46:26.048 It's like this gigantic cock, you know, 00:46:26.050 --> 00:46:30.086 and she just was having me, you know, 00:46:30.088 --> 00:46:32.421 just drill her again and again and again. 00:46:32.423 --> 00:46:35.858 And I just realized that I like giving 00:46:35.860 --> 00:46:37.994 so much more than receiving, you know. 00:46:37.996 --> 00:46:42.632 Like the power of, you know, just making a woman, like, come like that. 00:46:42.634 --> 00:46:47.537 And she is screaming. I mean, she has an orgasm. It's like, you know, 00:46:47.539 --> 00:46:50.273 it's waking up the cat down the street, 00:46:50.275 --> 00:46:52.508 if you know what I mean. And she's into it, you know. 00:46:52.510 --> 00:46:57.580 Just watching her face as she comes, like, again and again and again... 00:46:57.582 --> 00:47:01.450 Okay. That's all the time we have today. 00:47:01.452 --> 00:47:07.456 No, I'm pretty sure we've got about 35 minutes left. 00:47:23.207 --> 00:47:26.309 Fuck! 00:47:30.614 --> 00:47:32.481 Hey, Pete. Nikki's over. 00:47:32.483 --> 00:47:34.417 I'm experimenting with some food. Wanna come over? 00:47:34.419 --> 00:47:36.552 Sounds good. I'm not feeling well. 00:47:36.554 --> 00:47:42.124 What is taking so long? I'm starving. Oh, hi, Pete. 00:47:42.126 --> 00:47:45.194 - Hi. - -Oh, my... 00:47:45.196 --> 00:47:47.864 Hey, would you mind if I pop those on YouTube? 00:47:47.866 --> 00:47:51.400 Uh, I think I'll have to take a rain check on YouTube, 00:47:51.402 --> 00:47:57.373 and I had a big breakfast, so... 00:47:57.375 --> 00:48:02.011 - What is wrong with you? - What? It's a real thing. 00:48:02.013 --> 00:48:03.746 - Keep your eyes open. - Doc. 00:48:03.748 --> 00:48:07.717 Help! You gotta help me, okay? I'm losing my mind. 00:48:07.719 --> 00:48:10.887 I'm horny, I'm moody, and I think I'm going nuts. 00:48:10.889 --> 00:48:16.092 - Excuse me. - It's fine, go ahead. 00:48:16.094 --> 00:48:18.361 I'm sorry, did we have an appointment? 00:48:18.363 --> 00:48:21.664 No, we didn't. But you gotta help me, okay? Because I'm losing my mind, doc. 00:48:21.666 --> 00:48:24.715 It's really all happening way too fast for me. 00:48:24.740 --> 00:48:26.402 Look, just calm down. 00:48:26.404 --> 00:48:28.671 I'm sorry the process is so troubling, 00:48:28.673 --> 00:48:30.706 but because it's been delayed for 15 years, 00:48:30.708 --> 00:48:33.910 it's actually not surprising that your puberty experience 00:48:33.912 --> 00:48:35.845 is happening at a highly accelerated speed. 00:48:35.847 --> 00:48:38.681 - It's actually quite fascinating. - Oh, it's fascinating? Good. 00:48:38.683 --> 00:48:40.816 I'm glad my misery can be an upper for you, doc. 00:48:40.818 --> 00:48:44.153 - I didn't mean it that way. - Can you just give me a pill 00:48:44.155 --> 00:48:47.456 that'll make me a normal kind of human being going through puberty? 00:48:47.458 --> 00:48:49.892 That's all I need from you. That's why I'm here. 00:48:49.894 --> 00:48:55.431 If I could create a pill that cured puberty, I could buy France. 00:48:59.137 --> 00:49:04.073 - Hey. Got a minute? - Yes. Come on in, please, yes. 00:49:04.075 --> 00:49:08.644 I'm sorry about Nikki. Your face looks a lot better, though. 00:49:08.646 --> 00:49:11.414 Yeah. You know those guys at proactiv, that Adam Levine, 00:49:11.416 --> 00:49:14.016 they just know what they're doing. Have a seat. 00:49:14.018 --> 00:49:16.886 Oh, thanks. I actually can't stay long. I have to pack. 00:49:16.888 --> 00:49:20.323 I'm leaving for that cooking retreat thing I told you about. 00:49:20.325 --> 00:49:23.726 I'm leaving tomorrow, so I just wanted to come say goodbye. 00:49:23.728 --> 00:49:26.829 Oh. Well, goodbye. 00:49:26.831 --> 00:49:28.831 Are you okay? 00:49:28.833 --> 00:49:35.037 Yeah. No. Why? Do I seem like I'm not okay? 00:49:35.039 --> 00:49:36.973 Ever since you came back from that family thing, 00:49:36.975 --> 00:49:39.375 it just seems like you've been avoiding me. 00:49:39.377 --> 00:49:42.645 Or... I don't know, you just seem different. 00:49:46.083 --> 00:49:49.318 It's just, uh... Look, if... 00:49:49.320 --> 00:49:54.290 When you come back... We'll have a lot to talk about. 00:49:54.292 --> 00:49:57.326 - Good. - I'll be ready by then. 00:49:57.328 --> 00:49:59.829 To talk. About whatever, yeah. 00:49:59.831 --> 00:50:02.198 - Well... - Let me walk you out! 00:50:02.200 --> 00:50:07.003 - Oh, it's okay. Okay, bye. - Okay. Bye. Oh... 00:50:07.005 --> 00:50:11.173 - Okay. - Bye. 00:50:16.514 --> 00:50:18.447 Okay, yeah. 00:50:21.019 --> 00:50:23.285 Hey, Michelle. 00:50:23.287 --> 00:50:26.088 - Pete, hey. - Wow, you look great. 00:50:26.090 --> 00:50:28.057 How was your first day? 00:50:28.059 --> 00:50:31.494 - Dude, I'm getting raped here. - Shut the fuck up. Don't say raped. 00:50:31.496 --> 00:50:34.063 He's not getting raped. We're just playing a video game. 00:50:34.065 --> 00:50:35.631 - Oh, yeah, yeah, that's cool. - Hey, what's up, Michelle? 00:50:35.633 --> 00:50:38.200 Hey, Josh. Pete, oh, my gosh. 00:50:38.202 --> 00:50:43.272 Things are going so, so great here. Bobby is incredible. I'm learning so much. 00:50:43.274 --> 00:50:45.641 Oh, that's great. So it's "Bobby" now? 00:50:45.643 --> 00:50:48.377 Well, he insisted that we call him Bobby. 00:50:48.379 --> 00:50:50.046 He's very down-to-earth. 00:50:50.048 --> 00:50:53.315 And totally normal, not to mention very handsome. 00:50:53.317 --> 00:50:57.553 - I heard that! - I got busted. 00:50:57.555 --> 00:51:01.157 So... you're at his house right now, just you? 00:51:01.159 --> 00:51:05.761 There's a few of us here, but it's not like... like that. 00:51:05.763 --> 00:51:08.030 - Are you drunk? - -She's not sober! 00:51:08.032 --> 00:51:12.468 Quiet! I'm actually teacher's pet, which is quite nice. 00:51:12.470 --> 00:51:15.704 But he's very hands-on with all the contestants. 00:51:15.706 --> 00:51:18.374 - Oh, I bet. -Okay, well, I'm kind of in the middle of a game. 00:51:18.376 --> 00:51:20.776 I'm glad you're having fun. That's fantastic. 00:51:20.778 --> 00:51:23.212 But I promise to call you tomorrow, okay? 00:51:23.214 --> 00:51:25.981 - Yeah. - Alright. Bye. 00:51:25.983 --> 00:51:27.883 Sorry, dude. 00:51:27.885 --> 00:51:30.820 I cannot believe that she's chillin' with master flay like that. 00:51:30.822 --> 00:51:34.990 What do you mean? She's getting extra chef time. 00:51:34.992 --> 00:51:37.560 That's good for her. It's what she wants to do. 00:51:37.562 --> 00:51:40.729 Easy does it, Dr. j for "jealous." 00:51:40.731 --> 00:51:42.832 I'm not jealous. 00:51:45.403 --> 00:51:47.837 You're listening to metropolitan public radio. 00:51:47.839 --> 00:51:51.340 And this is a safe place. I'm Noema Willcoxen. 00:51:51.342 --> 00:51:54.276 My guest today is Dr. Peter Newmans, 00:51:54.278 --> 00:51:56.579 sexual-addiction therapist and author 00:51:56.581 --> 00:52:00.182 of from sex to success, a book specializing 00:52:00.184 --> 00:52:02.551 in the rechanneling of sexual energy. 00:52:02.553 --> 00:52:05.154 - Welcome, Dr. Newmans. - Thank you so much, Noema. 00:52:05.156 --> 00:52:09.458 I just have to say, I'm a huge fan. And please call me Pete. 00:52:09.460 --> 00:52:12.595 It's good to have you on, Pete. I read your book, 00:52:12.597 --> 00:52:15.998 and I was fascinated by some of your findings. 00:52:16.000 --> 00:52:19.802 First, tell us about the Genesis of your book. 00:52:19.804 --> 00:52:22.605 Well, first of all, I'd like to acknowledge 00:52:22.607 --> 00:52:26.475 the time-consuming aspect that sex plays in all our lives. 00:52:26.477 --> 00:52:28.844 We see it in movies, we see it in billboards, 00:52:28.846 --> 00:52:33.182 we even hear it on the radio! Ahem. 00:52:33.184 --> 00:52:34.650 I wanted to draw attention 00:52:34.652 --> 00:52:36.785 to the vast, mostly wasted potential 00:52:36.787 --> 00:52:39.488 and everyone who allows sex to control... 00:52:39.490 --> 00:52:42.558 Their lives! Ahem. Ahem! 00:52:42.560 --> 00:52:45.227 - Sorry about that. - Why don't have some water? 00:52:45.229 --> 00:52:47.163 Thank you. 00:52:47.165 --> 00:52:52.902 - Have a little more. Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 00:52:52.904 --> 00:52:55.237 The book shows that... 00:52:55.239 --> 00:52:58.407 The pursuit of constant sexual gratification 00:52:58.409 --> 00:53:03.779 creates neglect for more important things like family, career goals... 00:53:03.781 --> 00:53:07.516 personal well-being. Ahem-hem-hem. 00:53:07.518 --> 00:53:09.318 Do you think you'll be okay to continue? 00:53:09.320 --> 00:53:13.856 - I think I'm fine. I'm great. - Alright. 00:53:13.858 --> 00:53:16.659 You know, in reading your book, I couldn't help wondering 00:53:16.661 --> 00:53:19.495 about the basis of your discovery. 00:53:19.497 --> 00:53:23.933 If it started with your journey to remove sex from your life, 00:53:23.935 --> 00:53:26.368 as you're suggesting others do. 00:53:26.370 --> 00:53:28.938 Well, the book's not about me. 00:53:28.940 --> 00:53:31.807 It's about people who put their lives aside 00:53:31.809 --> 00:53:35.644 in pursuit of their next orgasm. 00:53:35.646 --> 00:53:38.080 Orgasm. Orgasm! 00:53:38.082 --> 00:53:41.517 Ahem. 00:53:41.519 --> 00:53:44.920 So your voice cracked a little bit. Not a big deal. 00:53:44.922 --> 00:53:49.091 That's just one of the changes you're going through right now. 00:53:49.093 --> 00:53:54.029 It's only natural to feel self-conscious or insecure 00:53:54.031 --> 00:53:58.801 about your voice or skin or... 00:53:58.803 --> 00:54:01.937 - genitals. - I know what puberty is. 00:54:01.939 --> 00:54:04.406 Okay. Let's watch the tone, huh? 00:54:04.408 --> 00:54:07.610 No, no, it's okay. You can act out, baby. 00:54:07.612 --> 00:54:11.747 I'm not a baby. I'm a full-grown man! 00:54:11.749 --> 00:54:14.583 Yes, of course, you recently are. 00:54:14.585 --> 00:54:16.752 We're just trying to relate here. 00:54:16.754 --> 00:54:19.521 You're trying to relate to me? Really? Thank you for that. 00:54:19.523 --> 00:54:21.991 How could you possibly relate to me?! 00:54:21.993 --> 00:54:23.826 Hey, don't talk to your mother like that. 00:54:23.828 --> 00:54:27.429 You don't get it! You'll never get it! 00:54:27.431 --> 00:54:29.820 You're like from another planet or something! 00:54:29.845 --> 00:54:32.025 I hate you! I wish I was never even born! 00:54:34.571 --> 00:54:38.007 I've been waiting 15 years for him to do that. 00:54:59.297 --> 00:55:01.030 Uh... 00:55:06.036 --> 00:55:07.603 Hey, Michelle! 00:55:07.605 --> 00:55:10.439 Pete, hey. Did I catch you at a bad time? 00:55:10.441 --> 00:55:12.941 No, no, not at all. It's a great time. 00:55:12.943 --> 00:55:15.444 - Oh, gosh, what a day we had. - We? 00:55:15.446 --> 00:55:17.446 Well, there's only seven of us left. 00:55:17.448 --> 00:55:20.115 And this competition is... fierce. 00:55:20.117 --> 00:55:23.719 Oh, you made it to the finals. Wow, congratulations, that's awesome. 00:55:23.721 --> 00:55:26.822 Bobby's inside cooking us a little late-night snack, 00:55:26.824 --> 00:55:30.326 and so I thought I would come out and see how you are. 00:55:30.328 --> 00:55:32.061 So it's you and the sexy chef. 00:55:32.063 --> 00:55:35.030 Are you okay? You sound a little... odd. 00:55:35.032 --> 00:55:38.400 No, I'm fine, I'm great. I... love the update. 00:55:38.402 --> 00:55:40.936 - -Alright, guys, dinner's up. 00:55:40.938 --> 00:55:44.106 That's the dinner bell. I gotta go, but I'll try you back if you want me to. 00:55:44.108 --> 00:55:46.909 Oh, yeah, yeah. Try me later, that's fine. 00:55:46.911 --> 00:55:48.877 Actually, don't try me later. Enjoy the wine. 00:55:48.879 --> 00:55:54.083 - Enjoy his dick. Boner appetite. - What? 00:55:54.085 --> 00:55:57.586 - Obsessed with that thing much? - Yeah, I am. It's a new app. 00:55:57.588 --> 00:56:00.222 A whole new world. This one... 00:56:00.224 --> 00:56:02.324 Look, it's couples seeking a third party. 00:56:02.326 --> 00:56:03.892 So that'd be me. Like a threesome? 00:56:03.894 --> 00:56:06.395 Okay. Cool. Just concerned with their well-being, are you? 00:56:06.397 --> 00:56:08.297 No, I just wanna have a threesome. 00:56:08.299 --> 00:56:10.532 I need you to babysit on the 22nd. 00:56:10.534 --> 00:56:12.067 What about your neighbor? 00:56:12.069 --> 00:56:13.736 What about the one that's so nice, 00:56:13.738 --> 00:56:15.704 the bubbly "I love her so much"? 00:56:15.706 --> 00:56:17.873 She drank all our whiskey, filled the bottles with ice tea. 00:56:17.875 --> 00:56:20.509 - What about Luke? -Why are all these couples so oblong? 00:56:20.511 --> 00:56:22.945 - Duly noted. - Come on, man. 00:56:22.947 --> 00:56:24.947 It's our anniversary. Crazy sex shit in a hotel room. 00:56:24.949 --> 00:56:27.015 I can't do this around the house. 00:56:27.017 --> 00:56:29.218 The kids are gonna smell it. When we're done with that room, 00:56:29.220 --> 00:56:32.921 they're gonna have to light some Sage and use it to set the room on fire. 00:56:32.923 --> 00:56:35.090 Okay, I'll babysit! I don't wanna know. 00:56:35.092 --> 00:56:38.494 Great. Fix the resolution. 00:56:38.496 --> 00:56:39.628 - Oh. - See? Normal. 00:56:39.630 --> 00:56:41.730 - Like me. - Yeah! 00:56:41.732 --> 00:56:46.802 Hey, if you ladies are ready, you wanna up the fucking ante? 00:56:46.804 --> 00:56:48.904 - Yeah. - Double it? 00:56:48.906 --> 00:56:53.008 If y'all wanna give us 400 instead of two, we'll let ya. 00:56:53.010 --> 00:56:55.043 We don't wanna give you 400 instead of two. 00:56:55.045 --> 00:56:57.146 - But that's what it would be. - Yeah, but just... 00:56:57.148 --> 00:57:00.949 - No, but we're gonna win. - We know math. 00:57:00.951 --> 00:57:04.319 Oh, really? Okay. Yeah, that's funny, isn't it? 00:57:04.321 --> 00:57:06.989 Let's fucking do it! You wanna fucking play that game?! 00:57:06.991 --> 00:57:09.057 Let's go, man! I'm so down! 00:57:38.522 --> 00:57:40.155 I'll let you try that one again, son. 00:57:40.157 --> 00:57:43.892 Come on, go for it. You gotta get it. Oh, oh, oh! 00:57:43.894 --> 00:57:47.029 - Oh! 00:57:47.031 --> 00:57:48.831 You don't want it bad enough, man. 00:57:48.833 --> 00:57:50.799 I'll give it back to you. Try again. 00:57:50.801 --> 00:57:52.534 - What's your problem? - Pass or shoot! 00:57:52.536 --> 00:57:54.136 Or maybe you wanna hit my fucking nuts again. 00:57:54.138 --> 00:57:56.238 That was a completely legal play... 00:57:56.240 --> 00:57:58.240 - Shut the fuck up and shoot. - I'm sorry, 00:57:58.242 --> 00:58:00.442 - what the hell are you doing? - He's playing like a man! 00:58:00.444 --> 00:58:02.878 - Fine, then let's play, then. - Yeah, but is he okay? 00:58:02.880 --> 00:58:05.113 I will skin your fucking face off and wear it as a hat. 00:58:05.115 --> 00:58:08.183 - Take a shot. Let's play. - That's a little aggressive. 00:58:08.185 --> 00:58:11.520 Let's chill out a little bit, buddy. Take a couple of deep breaths. 00:58:11.522 --> 00:58:13.288 The big guy's about to kill himself. 00:58:13.290 --> 00:58:15.290 - I'm not gonna kill myself. - I'm sorry, is he juicing? 00:58:15.292 --> 00:58:17.493 - It's fine. - Fuck this. I gotta go to work. 00:58:17.495 --> 00:58:20.596 - Yeah, that's cool. - Applebee's, I'll see you? 00:58:20.598 --> 00:58:22.130 - See you, buddy. - Have fun. Have a real... 00:58:22.132 --> 00:58:24.099 - Alright. Bye, guys. - That's a victory for us. 00:58:24.101 --> 00:58:28.971 Why are you jacking them off into your own mouth? 00:58:28.973 --> 00:58:31.240 - Oh, hey, man. - What's up? 00:58:31.242 --> 00:58:36.211 Oh, god! Dude, you smell like an ass taco. Jesus. 00:58:36.213 --> 00:58:38.046 Try the arctic force. 00:58:38.048 --> 00:58:41.617 It's mint. It's nice. I'll try it. 00:58:41.619 --> 00:58:46.488 - How's Becky doing? -Officially with Brendan, but she keeps texting me, 00:58:46.490 --> 00:58:48.790 so I don't know, you know? 00:58:48.792 --> 00:58:50.392 I wanna jump in front of a bus, basically. 00:58:50.394 --> 00:58:55.531 I'm sorry, dude. Girls, you know? They just... 00:58:55.533 --> 00:58:59.635 You try to be the nice guy, then all these things get in the way, 00:58:59.637 --> 00:59:03.672 like hormones and testosterone, mood swings... 00:59:03.674 --> 00:59:05.307 - Boners. - Boners, yeah. 00:59:05.309 --> 00:59:07.843 I got one in class right before the bell rang. 00:59:07.845 --> 00:59:09.578 I had to stick it in my waistband. 00:59:09.580 --> 00:59:11.547 - Sweet move. - The tip poked out, 00:59:11.549 --> 00:59:13.982 - and everyone saw. - Oh, that's harsh. 00:59:13.984 --> 00:59:16.184 I just acted confident, like I did it on purpose, 00:59:16.186 --> 00:59:19.254 and everyone started applauding, which was unexpected. 00:59:19.256 --> 00:59:23.992 The rogue boner. He's a heartless bastard. 00:59:28.298 --> 00:59:31.033 I wish I hated Becky Addams. I wanna ask her to the spring fling, 00:59:31.035 --> 00:59:35.237 but I don't know how to exactly, without sounding like an ass. 00:59:35.239 --> 00:59:37.839 School dances are designed to make 10 popular people 00:59:37.841 --> 00:59:39.608 feel really good about themselves and happy, 00:59:39.610 --> 00:59:41.376 and the rest are scarred for life. 00:59:41.378 --> 00:59:43.245 Everybody's got their Becky Addams. Trust me. 00:59:43.247 --> 00:59:44.880 Is yours Michelle? 00:59:44.882 --> 00:59:47.716 No, mine's not Michelle! 00:59:47.718 --> 00:59:49.284 I am gonna ask her out whenever she gets back. 00:59:49.286 --> 00:59:51.587 That is, if Bobby hasn't filleted her vagina 00:59:51.589 --> 00:59:53.889 and put it on a fucking plate. It's not funny, man. 00:59:53.891 --> 00:59:55.991 I have these possessive urges, I can't control them. 00:59:55.993 --> 00:59:58.226 They're not based in any form of logic, 00:59:58.228 --> 00:59:59.761 and it's confusing the shit outta me! 00:59:59.763 --> 01:00:01.597 Why does it have to suck so much? 01:00:01.599 --> 01:00:03.999 - Like an anvil on your chest. - You can't sleep, can't eat. 01:00:04.001 --> 01:00:05.867 The more uptight you get, the more pimples you get 01:00:05.869 --> 01:00:07.936 on your head and back and all this shit. 01:00:07.938 --> 01:00:09.705 You're like the only adult who gets it. 01:00:09.707 --> 01:00:13.075 I don't know how you don't know what to do with women. 01:00:13.077 --> 01:00:15.143 - I haven't dated much. - Dude, why not? 01:00:15.145 --> 01:00:16.712 You have money, an apartment, a car. 01:00:16.714 --> 01:00:18.246 If I was you, I'd be killing it. 01:00:18.248 --> 01:00:20.349 Everyone your age has already been laid a ton, 01:00:20.351 --> 01:00:22.117 so Michelle's probably already been with tons of dudes. 01:00:22.119 --> 01:00:24.252 No, she hasn't. She's been with Charlie and... 01:00:24.254 --> 01:00:27.155 I'll count. I guesstimate she popped in high school. 01:00:27.157 --> 01:00:29.758 That's one, maybe two or three boyfriends in college. 01:00:29.760 --> 01:00:31.360 That's four. A few drunken one-nighters. 01:00:31.362 --> 01:00:33.128 She's classy, let's just say two. 01:00:33.130 --> 01:00:35.530 So that's six. But then there's post-college, 01:00:35.532 --> 01:00:40.268 and that's when a girl's gotta find her way, right? So... it's 10 minimum. 01:00:40.270 --> 01:00:43.405 - Ten? - Plus Charlie, so that's 11. 01:00:43.407 --> 01:00:45.774 Every girl Michelle's age knows their way around a dick, 01:00:45.776 --> 01:00:50.245 so my advice is to get into some serious R&D before she comes back. 01:00:50.247 --> 01:00:55.250 Show her you know what to do with the puss. 01:00:55.252 --> 01:00:58.687 Yeah. Yeah. 01:01:26.383 --> 01:01:28.350 - Oh, shit. - Ow! 01:01:28.352 --> 01:01:29.918 - Oh. - Ow! Ow! 01:01:29.920 --> 01:01:32.521 - My... my watch is... - Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow! 01:01:44.601 --> 01:01:48.403 - No, no! Wrong hole. - Oh, sorry. 01:02:10.694 --> 01:02:12.761 And so you keep having sex... 01:02:12.763 --> 01:02:15.731 Over and over and over and over again, 01:02:15.733 --> 01:02:17.899 because you're scared if you say no, 01:02:17.901 --> 01:02:20.502 you might not experience enough. 01:02:20.504 --> 01:02:22.471 So size, shape, 01:02:22.473 --> 01:02:24.406 nationality, religion, it doesn't matter. 01:02:24.408 --> 01:02:26.842 You just bang anybody who's willing. 01:02:26.844 --> 01:02:30.812 But then your balls start to itch... 01:02:30.814 --> 01:02:33.782 and you're not sure if you caught something 01:02:33.784 --> 01:02:38.854 or if it's your psychosomatic paranoia kicking in again. 01:02:38.856 --> 01:02:40.789 You understand me so well. 01:02:40.791 --> 01:02:46.294 I don't have balls or anything, but the rest of it is dead-on. 01:02:46.296 --> 01:02:49.231 Mm, yeah, that's interesting. 01:02:50.900 --> 01:02:53.935 She's still out of town. I don't know when she'll be back. 01:02:53.937 --> 01:02:56.638 - Oh, yeah? You talk to her? - Yep. 01:02:56.640 --> 01:02:58.940 - She say anything about me? - I stay out of her business. 01:02:58.942 --> 01:03:03.211 Oh, come on, Phil. I know you guys are besties. 01:03:03.213 --> 01:03:07.048 I messed up. I haven't been... Putting her first. 01:03:07.050 --> 01:03:09.851 But I miss her, I really do. 01:03:09.853 --> 01:03:12.254 I mean, you know how great she is, right? 01:03:12.256 --> 01:03:16.458 I just... I just wanna make things right. 01:03:16.460 --> 01:03:18.827 Hey, if you see her, will you just let her know 01:03:18.829 --> 01:03:20.762 that I stopped by and I dropped off these flowers? 01:03:20.764 --> 01:03:23.965 - Yeah, I'll do that for you. - I appreciate that. 01:03:23.967 --> 01:03:26.568 - No worries. - Alright. 01:03:26.570 --> 01:03:28.537 Pete! 01:03:28.539 --> 01:03:33.742 I just remembered your name is Pete. I'm such an ass. 01:03:33.744 --> 01:03:38.046 No, you're not, man. 01:03:38.048 --> 01:03:43.218 - Just not right for her. - Sorry, what was that? 01:03:43.220 --> 01:03:45.587 I said, "just not the right key in the door." 01:03:45.589 --> 01:03:47.856 Yeah. 01:04:10.546 --> 01:04:13.548 - Hey. Did you give me flowers? - Hey. 01:04:13.550 --> 01:04:18.954 I just saw them, but you didn't sign the card, silly. 01:04:18.956 --> 01:04:20.922 Welcome home. 01:04:20.924 --> 01:04:23.225 Thanks. You wanna come over? 01:04:23.227 --> 01:04:28.897 - I can put them in some water. - Yeah. 01:04:28.899 --> 01:04:31.066 There's something different about you. 01:04:31.068 --> 01:04:33.468 I don't know, maybe it's your hair, 01:04:33.470 --> 01:04:35.370 it's longer or something, I don't know. 01:04:35.372 --> 01:04:38.740 But you look good. It's good to see you. 01:04:38.742 --> 01:04:43.778 It's good to see you, too. You look good, too. 01:04:43.780 --> 01:04:45.413 Thanks. 01:04:45.415 --> 01:04:49.184 I wanted to ask you something. 01:04:49.186 --> 01:04:50.218 Uh... 01:04:50.220 --> 01:04:55.957 - Yes? - Maybe... 01:04:55.959 --> 01:04:58.860 you wanted to tell me about Santa Barbara, 01:04:58.862 --> 01:05:04.666 and maybe you wanted to tell me about Santa Barbara over dinner? 01:05:04.668 --> 01:05:08.503 Dinner? Yeah, I could do that. 01:05:08.505 --> 01:05:10.438 Give me an hour and I'll tell you more about it. 01:05:10.440 --> 01:05:13.408 - So I'll see you in an hour. - Yeah. 01:05:13.410 --> 01:05:17.112 Cool. Alright. 01:05:24.721 --> 01:05:28.256 Oh, my god... 01:05:28.258 --> 01:05:30.191 Rich. What's up, man? 01:05:30.193 --> 01:05:33.061 - Where the fuck are you? -You are not gonna fucking believe it. 01:05:33.063 --> 01:05:34.729 Guess who has a date with Michelle. 01:05:34.731 --> 01:05:37.365 No! You're babysitting for me, remember? 01:05:37.367 --> 01:05:41.369 - Anniversary? Weird hotel sex? - Oh, shit, dude! 01:05:41.371 --> 01:05:43.605 The 22nd. I fucking forgot, man! 01:05:43.607 --> 01:05:46.074 You need to be on your way right now. 01:05:46.076 --> 01:05:47.509 Well, I can't do that, rich. 01:05:47.511 --> 01:05:49.544 Michelle asked me to dinner. Sorry, man. 01:05:49.546 --> 01:05:51.346 Do it another night, okay? I've had reservations 01:05:51.348 --> 01:05:53.281 at Monte Grappa and a suite for a month. 01:05:53.283 --> 01:05:55.183 And the things we're gonna do in that suite, 01:05:55.185 --> 01:05:57.452 we're gonna fucking wreck furniture, 01:05:57.454 --> 01:05:59.888 we're gonna lose our security deposit for sure. 01:05:59.890 --> 01:06:02.490 - What the hell! Is he close? - Yeah. 01:06:02.492 --> 01:06:05.560 Well, he better be, because I am done being mommy! 01:06:05.562 --> 01:06:07.495 I should be choking on a bar of hotel soap right now. 01:06:07.497 --> 01:06:09.464 Because I've been a bad girl, haven't I? 01:06:09.466 --> 01:06:11.666 You gotta discipline me, don't you, okay? 01:06:11.668 --> 01:06:14.703 You discipline me, not them, those fucking monsters! 01:06:14.705 --> 01:06:17.005 Get the Vaseline and the cotton balls and the zip ties. 01:06:17.007 --> 01:06:20.675 Oh, and you better have changed the fucking light bulb in the closet. 01:06:20.677 --> 01:06:23.979 I swear on my children's lives if you're not here, 01:06:23.981 --> 01:06:25.880 I'm gonna rip out your brand-new Adam's apple 01:06:25.882 --> 01:06:28.550 and I'm gonna use it as a fucking sex toy! 01:06:28.552 --> 01:06:31.419 You know what we're gonna do in that hotel room? Butt stuff. 01:06:31.421 --> 01:06:34.255 I didn't wanna tell you, but you have forced my hand. 01:06:34.257 --> 01:06:36.057 Are you kidding me, rich? Really? 01:06:36.059 --> 01:06:38.460 I've been waiting my whole fucking life for this moment! 01:06:38.462 --> 01:06:40.895 Things change when you have children, okay? 01:06:40.897 --> 01:06:42.597 You're the one who chose to have kids. 01:06:42.599 --> 01:06:44.766 - Right? - Yes, and I love them. 01:06:44.768 --> 01:06:46.568 But right now, I'm not a father, 01:06:46.570 --> 01:06:49.170 I'm just a guy who wants to violate their mother. 01:06:49.172 --> 01:06:53.274 You know what, rich? I wanna do something for myself for once! 01:06:53.276 --> 01:06:55.176 Okay, great. Good for you, buddy. 01:06:55.178 --> 01:06:56.878 Do it another night. Tonight's my anniversary. 01:06:56.880 --> 01:06:58.980 Well, you can move your anniversary, alright?! 01:06:58.982 --> 01:07:00.348 Anniversaries are moveable. 01:07:00.350 --> 01:07:02.150 This is my one fucking shot at Michelle! 01:07:02.152 --> 01:07:05.086 You do not understand how anniversaries work. 01:07:05.088 --> 01:07:08.390 It's a specific date. That's why I fucking asked you. 01:07:08.392 --> 01:07:11.893 - You're a prick, rich. - You're an asshole. 01:07:11.895 --> 01:07:14.329 You're a prick! 01:07:14.331 --> 01:07:17.065 - Shithead! - What's a shiphead? 01:07:17.067 --> 01:07:21.236 Your uncle Pete. 01:07:21.238 --> 01:07:24.172 And it's "shithead." 01:07:24.174 --> 01:07:28.576 Josh, tell me, am I crazy? How was I being selfish? 01:07:28.578 --> 01:07:30.578 You weren't. Hos before bros. 01:07:30.580 --> 01:07:33.815 You're exactly right. Hos before bros. 01:07:33.817 --> 01:07:37.018 There we go. How do I look? 01:07:37.020 --> 01:07:38.720 Outfit's fleek, shoes are weak. 01:07:38.722 --> 01:07:40.422 More importantly, 01:07:40.424 --> 01:07:43.324 girls like some edge, so do not be a nice guy. 01:07:43.326 --> 01:07:45.393 Well, nice is the only tune I know. 01:07:45.395 --> 01:07:48.329 You cannot be nice, okay? 01:07:48.331 --> 01:07:52.467 Be a dick. Be a dick. Gotcha. 01:07:54.737 --> 01:07:56.604 Be a dick. 01:08:15.991 --> 01:08:17.459 How did you get us a table here? 01:08:17.461 --> 01:08:20.128 Chill, sexy on the half shell, I got this. 01:08:20.130 --> 01:08:24.566 Well, it's great. And I hear the food here is amazing, and I am hungry. 01:08:24.568 --> 01:08:27.435 That's good news for me, because I like a girl 01:08:27.437 --> 01:08:31.072 with a little meat on her bones, if you know what I mean. 01:08:31.074 --> 01:08:33.308 - Yeah. - No, no, whoa, Bromo, whoa. 01:08:33.310 --> 01:08:35.443 What are you doing? We did not order this. 01:08:35.445 --> 01:08:37.312 It's a welcome the chef offers everyone. 01:08:37.314 --> 01:08:39.314 It's lovely. Thank you very much. 01:08:39.316 --> 01:08:42.750 - You want this? It can stay. - Yeah. 01:08:42.752 --> 01:08:45.186 Have some. 01:08:53.496 --> 01:08:54.796 Thank you. 01:08:54.798 --> 01:08:59.067 It was just really great to get away and clear my head. 01:08:59.069 --> 01:09:02.837 You know, you ever have those moments when you open your eyes 01:09:02.839 --> 01:09:05.473 and you just realize your whole world has changed? 01:09:05.475 --> 01:09:08.309 - You have no idea. - Like, last night, 01:09:08.311 --> 01:09:10.478 I was up late drinking with Bobby. 01:09:10.480 --> 01:09:13.648 You would love it. He has this old villa from 1908 01:09:13.650 --> 01:09:16.317 and this amazing cellar with these wines... 01:09:16.319 --> 01:09:17.619 Alcoholic much? 01:09:17.621 --> 01:09:20.788 And we were out on this veranda, 01:09:20.790 --> 01:09:22.457 and we were looking up at a million stars... 01:09:22.459 --> 01:09:25.593 Okay, we get it. You had a good time with Bobby. 01:09:25.595 --> 01:09:27.262 Are you jealous? 01:09:27.264 --> 01:09:29.898 No, I'm not jealous. How could I be? I'm just concerned. 01:09:29.900 --> 01:09:33.902 If I slept with him, do you think I would be telling you this story? 01:09:33.904 --> 01:09:36.871 Hey, you're single. Say you didn't sleep with him, 01:09:36.873 --> 01:09:39.207 you didn't sleep with him. Or...? 01:09:39.209 --> 01:09:42.710 Why are you being such an asshole? 01:09:47.283 --> 01:09:48.950 You're right. I'm sorry. 01:09:48.952 --> 01:09:51.219 I... 01:09:51.221 --> 01:09:55.089 Am just really, really nervous, actually. 01:09:55.091 --> 01:10:00.228 Because I've been wanting to go on this date with you longer than I even knew. 01:10:01.530 --> 01:10:05.233 You don't have to be nervous. You're Pete. 01:10:05.235 --> 01:10:06.634 You're my Pete. 01:10:06.636 --> 01:10:11.239 And I don't want you to be anything else. 01:10:11.241 --> 01:10:14.142 That's such good news. 01:10:14.144 --> 01:10:15.543 Can I start over? 01:10:15.545 --> 01:10:18.379 - Please. - I have so much to tell you. 01:10:18.381 --> 01:10:20.248 I've had an interesting ride. 01:10:20.250 --> 01:10:24.219 I'm... I'm still the same person that you knew. 01:10:24.221 --> 01:10:29.724 I'm still... Kinda silly, a goof. I still love your food. 01:10:29.726 --> 01:10:32.994 I'm still genuine, kinda weird, truthful, 01:10:32.996 --> 01:10:37.198 - honest... - Un-fucking-believable! 01:10:37.200 --> 01:10:38.733 You stole our table. 01:10:38.735 --> 01:10:41.936 I don't know what you're talking about. 01:10:41.938 --> 01:10:45.106 - Wait, Pete. What? - I can explain what happened. 01:10:45.108 --> 01:10:48.610 What happened is, he broke a promise to his best friend, 01:10:48.612 --> 01:10:49.944 and then stole our reservation. 01:10:49.946 --> 01:10:52.347 I can't believe you stole our table. 01:10:52.349 --> 01:10:54.649 You didn't have a babysitter! 01:10:54.651 --> 01:11:00.421 Luke canceled a three-way! 01:11:00.423 --> 01:11:02.457 Like a real friend would. 01:11:02.459 --> 01:11:05.793 - This is my soup. - Don't you touch my soup! 01:11:05.795 --> 01:11:08.429 - Oh, my god. - Oh, there's wine for me. 01:11:08.431 --> 01:11:11.332 Mm. So good, honey. You gotta try this. 01:11:11.334 --> 01:11:13.134 Alright, let's do it! 01:11:13.136 --> 01:11:16.504 I'm gonna beat your ass, man! Put 'em up! Let's go! 01:11:16.506 --> 01:11:18.673 I have a boner, I can use it to fuck or fight. 01:11:18.675 --> 01:11:21.943 - Punch him with your keys! - Yeah, you better go. 01:11:21.945 --> 01:11:25.213 I'm gonna use my boner to fuck you! 01:11:25.215 --> 01:11:29.651 Ooh. Oh. 01:11:29.653 --> 01:11:32.754 Michelle! Let me give you a ride home. 01:11:32.756 --> 01:11:34.722 - We're going to the same place. - I already called a cab. 01:11:34.724 --> 01:11:37.725 - It's on its way. - Can you cancel it? 01:11:37.727 --> 01:11:39.994 That went completely opposite of what I planned for this evening. 01:11:39.996 --> 01:11:44.332 - As did you. -You don't know what I've been going through lately. 01:11:44.334 --> 01:11:45.900 Explain it to me, then. Explain, please, 01:11:45.902 --> 01:11:48.436 because I have no idea who the hell you are right now. 01:11:48.438 --> 01:11:50.338 Some crazy shit has been happening to me. 01:11:50.340 --> 01:11:52.140 You're just gonna have to give me another chance to tell you... 01:11:52.142 --> 01:11:55.276 Another chance? Well, now you just sound like Charlie. 01:11:55.278 --> 01:11:58.813 And, oh, speaking of Charlie, I got a text message earlier, 01:11:58.815 --> 01:12:03.685 and supposedly he stopped by and those flowers were from him? 01:12:03.687 --> 01:12:06.688 He did stop by and they were from him. 01:12:06.690 --> 01:12:08.423 - I didn't think that you... - You know what? 01:12:08.425 --> 01:12:13.094 Stop. Just please stop. 01:12:13.096 --> 01:12:14.562 You know what? Fuck it. 01:12:14.564 --> 01:12:16.698 You know what? Go back to Charlie! 01:12:16.700 --> 01:12:20.568 I don't give a shit anymore! 01:12:20.570 --> 01:12:22.136 I'm not gonna apologize 01:12:22.138 --> 01:12:24.605 because I enjoy having a cock in my mouth. 01:12:24.607 --> 01:12:26.574 My friends don't seem to like it, 01:12:26.576 --> 01:12:29.243 but I think it feels good in there. 01:12:29.245 --> 01:12:31.479 Maybe it's an oral fixation, but... 01:12:31.481 --> 01:12:34.682 I know I love it in my mouth, 01:12:34.684 --> 01:12:36.384 against my face and... 01:12:36.386 --> 01:12:39.287 To have his hard cock against my lips. 01:12:39.289 --> 01:12:41.489 So stop talking. 01:12:41.491 --> 01:12:44.959 Pardon the interruption, but do you drive a silver Prius? 01:12:44.961 --> 01:12:47.195 - I'm in session! - My office, now! 01:12:47.197 --> 01:12:51.733 - We have 25 minutes. - I'm having you towed. 01:12:51.735 --> 01:12:53.601 You are our best and brightest. 01:12:53.603 --> 01:12:55.603 How could you allow a patient to fellate you?! 01:12:55.605 --> 01:12:57.405 She hadn't yet. 01:12:57.407 --> 01:13:00.141 If news of this gets out, our clinic could be gone overnight! 01:13:00.143 --> 01:13:04.145 With this Ned talk coming up, what were you thinking? 01:13:04.147 --> 01:13:07.749 I've been going through a... 01:13:07.751 --> 01:13:10.985 absurd amount of personal issues. 01:13:10.987 --> 01:13:13.988 That doesn't explain what I saw. So go home, doctor. 01:13:13.990 --> 01:13:18.159 Can I call you to discuss the talk, or just to... 01:13:18.161 --> 01:13:20.862 Well, why don't we put a pin in that, 01:13:20.864 --> 01:13:25.032 until we see if your patient files a lawsuit, huh? 01:14:07.777 --> 01:14:09.944 Hey. 01:14:20.456 --> 01:14:24.158 - You want a beer? - Yeah. 01:14:34.203 --> 01:14:37.839 Cheers. 01:14:37.841 --> 01:14:40.741 So how's puberty at 30 going? 01:14:40.743 --> 01:14:44.378 Not good. I don't know what to do with it. 01:14:44.380 --> 01:14:46.647 I can't control it. 01:14:46.649 --> 01:14:50.585 I'll let you in on a little secret. 01:14:50.587 --> 01:14:54.455 Most guys can't. 01:14:54.457 --> 01:14:57.525 Those feelings and urges... 01:14:57.527 --> 01:15:00.561 Start in puberty and... 01:15:00.563 --> 01:15:04.866 Never really goes away. It's in our DNA. 01:15:04.868 --> 01:15:07.935 That's why we screw up so much. 01:15:14.409 --> 01:15:17.578 You remember the spring when you were in 5th grade, 01:15:17.580 --> 01:15:20.214 I was away in Miami on business for a month? 01:15:20.216 --> 01:15:25.019 - Yeah. -I was really at a motel by the Burbank airport, 01:15:25.021 --> 01:15:29.457 'cause your mom kicked me out. 01:15:29.459 --> 01:15:31.459 With good reason. 01:15:31.461 --> 01:15:34.262 Such a cliché, you know? 01:15:34.264 --> 01:15:40.301 Office party, had a few drinks and, uh... 01:15:40.303 --> 01:15:46.007 I... strayed. 01:15:46.009 --> 01:15:48.643 Once. 01:15:48.645 --> 01:15:49.977 But turns out, 01:15:49.979 --> 01:15:54.649 it's how we repair our mistakes... 01:15:54.651 --> 01:15:58.586 that defines us... In their eyes. 01:15:58.588 --> 01:16:02.056 I think... 01:16:02.058 --> 01:16:06.928 the biggest change we go through... 01:16:06.930 --> 01:16:11.499 is discovering the difference between acting like a man... 01:16:11.501 --> 01:16:13.968 And being a man. 01:16:18.473 --> 01:16:23.210 Do I, uh... 01:16:23.212 --> 01:16:28.149 Do I embarrass you, dad? 01:16:28.151 --> 01:16:33.254 No. 01:16:33.256 --> 01:16:36.824 No, never. 01:16:36.826 --> 01:16:39.827 All those years, I knew something was off, 01:16:39.829 --> 01:16:41.796 but you're my son... 01:16:41.798 --> 01:16:45.600 And I love you... 01:16:45.602 --> 01:16:50.371 no matter what. 01:16:50.373 --> 01:16:52.273 That's in the DNA, too. 01:16:52.275 --> 01:16:54.408 Yeah. 01:16:59.782 --> 01:17:03.317 What am I gonna do about this Ned talk tomorrow? 01:17:03.319 --> 01:17:06.587 I guess my advice would be to just look this Ned fella 01:17:06.589 --> 01:17:09.123 square in the eye and tell him the truth. 01:17:15.364 --> 01:17:17.565 Sex. 01:17:17.567 --> 01:17:19.233 Everybody's doing it. 01:17:19.235 --> 01:17:21.669 As a people, first we experience 01:17:21.671 --> 01:17:24.538 an attraction, and then, at some point, 01:17:24.540 --> 01:17:27.875 we need to get busy. 01:17:27.877 --> 01:17:31.646 We average one sexual thought every seven seconds. 01:17:31.648 --> 01:17:33.748 We've got 365 day a year. 01:17:33.750 --> 01:17:37.218 Well, guess what, 54 of those days are gone 01:17:37.220 --> 01:17:39.654 to nothing else but thinking about sex. 01:17:39.656 --> 01:17:43.557 Almost two months combined. Doing absolutely nothing. 01:17:43.559 --> 01:17:48.829 Isn't this amazing? Long time in the making. It's a big moment for us. 01:17:48.831 --> 01:17:51.265 I just open and close the curtain. 01:17:51.267 --> 01:17:54.602 What I believe is that the only way to combat this 01:17:54.604 --> 01:17:59.006 is the rechanneling of unnecessary sexual energy. 01:17:59.008 --> 01:18:01.809 One of the most important things to keep in mind 01:18:01.811 --> 01:18:04.745 is that sexual energy can be... 01:18:04.747 --> 01:18:09.383 Altered and diverted. 01:18:09.385 --> 01:18:14.722 Sexual energy can be altered and diverted. 01:18:23.899 --> 01:18:29.070 I'm sorry. 01:18:29.072 --> 01:18:32.339 I had a great talk with my dad last night. 01:18:32.341 --> 01:18:34.608 That and, uh... 01:18:34.610 --> 01:18:37.545 Recent events in my life, which we don't have time for, 01:18:37.547 --> 01:18:42.349 have led me to say... What I'm about to say to you. 01:18:42.351 --> 01:18:45.619 It seems that... 01:18:45.621 --> 01:18:47.221 there are flaws... 01:18:47.223 --> 01:18:50.558 In the theories that I've written. 01:18:50.560 --> 01:18:53.527 - What is he doing? - I understand the murmur. 01:18:53.529 --> 01:18:57.598 I spent the last 15 years of my life not having sex. 01:18:57.600 --> 01:18:59.100 Avoiding it. 01:18:59.102 --> 01:19:02.403 And I've done a ton of cool shit in my life. 01:19:02.405 --> 01:19:04.605 But while not having sex, 01:19:04.607 --> 01:19:08.409 I've also missed out on some cool-ass live shit like sex. 01:19:08.411 --> 01:19:11.812 And I have to say, I've been, uh... 01:19:11.814 --> 01:19:16.917 - I've been sampling it lately. - Uh, clinical trials, as we say. 01:19:16.919 --> 01:19:19.487 Why are they laughing? That's not funny. 01:19:19.489 --> 01:19:22.757 As a doctor, I can tell you it's fucking ridonculous! 01:19:22.759 --> 01:19:27.061 And masturbation? Are you kidding me?! Actually, you know what? Show of hands. 01:19:27.063 --> 01:19:29.029 Who here polished the dolphin last night, huh? 01:19:29.031 --> 01:19:31.465 There it goes. Okay. I know one of you... 01:19:31.467 --> 01:19:35.236 There's not just one of you. There we go! There's another one! 01:19:35.238 --> 01:19:37.238 That's cool! Sex is fucking awesome. 01:19:37.240 --> 01:19:39.373 It's nasty, it's disgusting, it's weird, 01:19:39.375 --> 01:19:41.809 and that's only if you're doing it right. 01:19:41.811 --> 01:19:43.210 That's what sex is. 01:19:43.212 --> 01:19:46.013 And it's also two people coming together. 01:19:46.015 --> 01:19:50.651 And it's, uh... terrifying. 01:19:50.653 --> 01:19:52.887 And it's beautiful. 01:19:52.889 --> 01:19:57.124 And I've been missing that. And I missed that in my book. 01:19:57.126 --> 01:20:00.094 So what am I saying here? 01:20:00.096 --> 01:20:02.830 Well, I know what I'm saying. 01:20:02.832 --> 01:20:04.498 Fuck away. 01:20:04.500 --> 01:20:07.101 Fuck away! 01:20:07.103 --> 01:20:09.103 Fuck away, fuck away, fuck away. 01:20:09.105 --> 01:20:11.906 Fuck to your heart's desire, fuck until your heart's covered in come, 01:20:11.908 --> 01:20:14.341 I don't give a shit what you do. Lick some ass, suck some dicks, 01:20:14.343 --> 01:20:16.177 squeeze some titties, pinch some nipples. 01:20:16.179 --> 01:20:18.445 As long as it's mutually beneficial to the other person 01:20:18.447 --> 01:20:20.714 you're doing it with, you got my vote. 01:20:20.716 --> 01:20:24.718 We got one shot at this, one shot. 01:20:24.720 --> 01:20:26.153 And there's absolutely no way 01:20:26.155 --> 01:20:29.089 to do that one shot right without sex. 01:20:29.091 --> 01:20:33.928 - That's all I got to say. 01:20:38.267 --> 01:20:39.900 That was for effect, right? 01:20:39.902 --> 01:20:42.403 I mean, you're going back out there... 01:20:42.405 --> 01:20:44.238 Have sex, Caroline. 01:20:44.240 --> 01:20:45.506 And repeat. 01:20:45.508 --> 01:20:49.944 After sex, I'd rinse first and then repeat. 01:21:08.064 --> 01:21:13.367 - Oh. 01:21:13.369 --> 01:21:15.903 Delaney? 01:21:15.905 --> 01:21:18.372 Uncle shithead! 01:21:18.374 --> 01:21:20.574 Here's your birthday present! 01:21:28.583 --> 01:21:30.150 I was wrong. 01:21:30.152 --> 01:21:33.387 What I did was selfish and stupid, 01:21:33.389 --> 01:21:39.360 and I'm sorry to both of you. 01:21:39.362 --> 01:21:42.596 It's fine. We know you're going through some stuff. 01:21:42.598 --> 01:21:45.366 Yeah. But if you ever do anything like that again, 01:21:45.368 --> 01:21:47.568 I'm gonna cut your dick off, and shove it up your asshole. 01:21:47.570 --> 01:21:52.172 She's not joking. She knows her way around a dick. 01:21:52.174 --> 01:21:55.142 - And an asshole. - Yeah. 01:21:55.144 --> 01:21:58.479 - Michelle went back to Charlie? - Yeah. 01:21:58.481 --> 01:22:02.016 And I don't blame her. I... I suck. 01:22:02.018 --> 01:22:04.685 That's too bad. You guys seemed really good for each other. 01:22:04.687 --> 01:22:10.090 - Yeah. -I wish I had that. I miss being with someone. 01:22:10.092 --> 01:22:14.028 - What about your tinder babes? - That was fun. 01:22:14.030 --> 01:22:16.163 Some people go on there to have sex. 01:22:16.165 --> 01:22:17.865 You tried to have sex with 72 different women in a row. 01:22:17.867 --> 01:22:21.869 - Oh, my god. -I know, but I wanna be with someone. 01:22:21.871 --> 01:22:23.804 Like you guys. Like in a relationship. 01:22:23.806 --> 01:22:25.606 - Yeah. We get it. - Okay. 01:22:25.608 --> 01:22:27.241 Hey, did you hear the news? 01:22:27.243 --> 01:22:29.443 Michelle won that sous-chef spot for that Bobby flay thing. 01:22:29.445 --> 01:22:34.148 - Really? -And the restaurant opens this weekend. 01:22:34.150 --> 01:22:38.819 - Good for her. - Okay, so...? 01:22:38.821 --> 01:22:41.956 You should go there, support her. 01:22:41.958 --> 01:22:43.590 Apologize face-to-face, like a man. 01:22:43.592 --> 01:22:45.592 Do what you gotta do. You might need to say 01:22:45.594 --> 01:22:48.262 you're sorry all night in a million different ways. 01:22:48.264 --> 01:22:51.231 I blew it with Michelle. 01:22:51.233 --> 01:22:54.368 I'd love nothing more than to go over and see her, 01:22:54.370 --> 01:22:59.640 but... I think I... Know what being a man is now, 01:22:59.642 --> 01:23:04.611 and maybe that's doing what she wants and not what I want. 01:23:04.613 --> 01:23:09.750 And I think she wants to not see my face for a really long time. 01:23:09.752 --> 01:23:12.219 - So are you gonna wear a disguise? - What? 01:23:12.221 --> 01:23:14.989 I have plenty of disguises. You can come over... 01:23:14.991 --> 01:23:17.224 - Why do you have disguises? - I dunno. 01:23:17.226 --> 01:23:22.396 How can so much and so little be happening in that head of yours? 01:23:31.172 --> 01:23:34.241 - Sorry, sorry. No more phone. - It's okay. 01:23:34.243 --> 01:23:35.976 - Putting it away. - It's alright. 01:23:35.978 --> 01:23:38.612 I got to sneak out and I had a lot to do with this soup. 01:23:38.614 --> 01:23:41.648 So I just wanted you to try it, see what you think. 01:23:41.650 --> 01:23:45.419 Alright. Alright. Mm. 01:23:48.056 --> 01:23:52.559 - It's cold. - It's supposed to be. 01:23:52.561 --> 01:23:57.197 - Then it's perfect. - Thank you. 01:23:57.199 --> 01:23:59.900 Welcome. What's the name, please? 01:23:59.902 --> 01:24:01.935 Sir? Sir?! 01:24:11.379 --> 01:24:13.480 - It's the mix I made you. - Yeah, yeah. 01:24:13.482 --> 01:24:15.816 You really have a thing about making scenes in restaurants. 01:24:15.818 --> 01:24:18.819 - Just hear me out. - No! No! I'm busy! 01:24:18.821 --> 01:24:22.956 Are you too selfish to realize that this is a very, very important night for me 01:24:22.958 --> 01:24:27.027 and that whatever you're doing, whatever this is, this is obviously about you? 01:24:27.029 --> 01:24:29.630 No, I came here to apologize. 01:24:29.632 --> 01:24:33.600 Don't. Okay? I've moved on. 01:24:33.602 --> 01:24:36.470 With Charlie? That's moving backwards! 01:24:36.472 --> 01:24:40.140 - At least I know who he is. - Hey, is there a problem here? 01:24:40.142 --> 01:24:44.611 Pete, please, just leave. 01:24:46.815 --> 01:24:50.751 Yeah. Alright. 01:24:50.753 --> 01:24:53.454 You are not leaving until you tell her everything. 01:24:53.456 --> 01:24:55.022 Carpe Diem, Dr. Newmans. 01:24:55.024 --> 01:24:59.126 Get the fuck... back in there. 01:24:59.128 --> 01:25:02.096 Right now. 01:25:06.134 --> 01:25:09.870 I never went through puberty! 01:25:09.872 --> 01:25:12.873 - I thought it would be more of a private moment. -This is good. 01:25:12.875 --> 01:25:17.311 I'm 30 years old, never went through puberty. I had a... 01:25:17.313 --> 01:25:20.314 A tumor in my pituitary gland 01:25:20.316 --> 01:25:22.983 and it stunted everything. 01:25:22.985 --> 01:25:24.685 So when they took it out, 01:25:24.687 --> 01:25:27.721 I had a lifetime of testosterone that hit me all at once. 01:25:27.723 --> 01:25:31.892 So jerkin' it, mood swings, acne, it just fucking hit me. 01:25:31.894 --> 01:25:34.661 Our date... our date... that... 01:25:34.663 --> 01:25:39.600 That was me learning that I had no idea how to be a man. 01:25:39.602 --> 01:25:42.336 I've always known what you're capable of. 01:25:42.338 --> 01:25:44.571 Now that I know what kind of man I wanna be, 01:25:44.573 --> 01:25:46.707 I'd really like it if you'd be around 01:25:46.709 --> 01:25:49.476 when I figure out what I'm capable of. 01:25:49.478 --> 01:25:51.912 What the fuck is going on here?! 01:25:51.914 --> 01:25:53.447 - Okay, um... - No, no, no! 01:25:53.449 --> 01:25:55.315 Who does he think he is? He's causing a scene. 01:25:55.317 --> 01:25:57.284 This is embarrassing. Let me get him outta here. 01:25:57.286 --> 01:25:59.052 I'm very confused right now, 01:25:59.054 --> 01:26:01.421 but this is bringing up a bigger issue, 01:26:01.423 --> 01:26:04.391 and I think the issue is... 01:26:04.393 --> 01:26:08.395 We're not supposed to be together. 01:26:08.397 --> 01:26:12.533 You gotta know that... right? 01:26:12.535 --> 01:26:15.068 And I am starting this whole new career 01:26:15.070 --> 01:26:18.438 and this whole new life and I just... 01:26:18.440 --> 01:26:21.141 I just don't see you... 01:26:21.143 --> 01:26:22.876 In that life. 01:26:22.878 --> 01:26:26.113 Wow. 01:26:26.115 --> 01:26:28.081 I, uh... 01:26:28.083 --> 01:26:31.919 Wasn't expecting this tonight. 01:26:31.921 --> 01:26:35.722 Glad we could do it in public. 01:26:35.724 --> 01:26:39.226 Um... okay. 01:26:39.228 --> 01:26:42.696 If you want me to go, yeah, I'll go. 01:26:42.698 --> 01:26:46.600 Yeah, I'm gonna get the fuck outta here. 01:26:50.138 --> 01:26:53.540 Enjoy that cold soup. 01:26:53.542 --> 01:26:55.676 - See ya, Chuck. - Later, Chazz. 01:26:55.678 --> 01:26:58.912 - Get the fuck out of my... - Oh! Oh! 01:27:01.816 --> 01:27:04.618 - What the fuck happened there? - I don't know, 01:27:04.620 --> 01:27:07.187 I kinda just came alive. Did I scare him? 01:27:07.189 --> 01:27:09.990 - Yeah, I think you scared everybody. - Fuck, yeah. 01:27:09.992 --> 01:27:12.593 I, um, I-I'm really busy, 01:27:12.595 --> 01:27:16.029 and I have to get back to work, but I get off at midnight, 01:27:16.031 --> 01:27:20.934 and if you wanna maybe come by and talk me through what has been happening with you 01:27:20.936 --> 01:27:25.439 and your whole... life... 01:27:25.441 --> 01:27:29.509 then I would like that. 01:27:29.511 --> 01:27:32.746 That sounds really good. 01:27:32.748 --> 01:27:34.915 In fact, you know what? Fuck it, I'm starving. 01:27:34.917 --> 01:27:37.251 - You got a table? - -Not a chance, pal. 01:27:37.253 --> 01:27:39.853 I couldn't get my mother a table in this place tonight. 01:27:39.855 --> 01:27:42.889 But I'll tell you what. Kiss her like it's your last chance 01:27:42.891 --> 01:27:44.992 and maybe I'll let you order something to go. 01:27:53.535 --> 01:27:57.271 - Yes! Whoo! - There you go. 01:28:08.650 --> 01:28:11.184 And I get so pissed off at my parents! 01:28:11.186 --> 01:28:15.022 They're on me about everything! School, sports, girls! 01:28:15.024 --> 01:28:17.357 - They don't get it at all! - You know what? 01:28:17.359 --> 01:28:20.927 I don't blame you. Parents stink. They just don't get it. 01:28:20.929 --> 01:28:24.164 Really? Parents have to stink so you can pander to teenagers? 01:28:24.166 --> 01:28:28.201 No, I didn't get it. All these years of my study of Kundalini 01:28:28.203 --> 01:28:31.004 and I didn't realize your sex Chakra, the red Chakra, 01:28:31.006 --> 01:28:32.806 wasn't flowing since you were a kid. 01:28:32.808 --> 01:28:36.476 - But I'm okay now, mom. - You're better than okay. 01:28:36.478 --> 01:28:38.845 Now you can have your own little bundle of joy. 01:28:38.847 --> 01:28:41.214 So apparently you'll also stink in the future. 01:28:41.216 --> 01:28:43.984 Oh, no, he's gonna stink. I'm gonna be the best mother in all of history. 01:28:43.986 --> 01:28:47.521 Good to know. Alright, grandma, let's let the man sign books. 01:28:47.523 --> 01:28:49.222 - Proud of you. - Thank you. 01:28:49.224 --> 01:28:51.058 - See you, pal. - Bye. 01:28:51.060 --> 01:28:54.594 And what's your name, future achiever? 01:29:01.669 --> 01:29:05.839 Well, well, well, I see you have a copy of Dr. Newmans' new book. 01:29:05.841 --> 01:29:08.575 You gonna to get it signed? He's right over there, kid. 01:29:08.577 --> 01:29:11.778 I want to, but the line's too long. I'm not sure my mom will wait. 01:29:11.780 --> 01:29:13.613 Oh, I can get you through that line. 01:29:13.615 --> 01:29:15.982 I go way back with that doc over there. 01:29:15.984 --> 01:29:18.085 Yeah, I actually helped put him on the map. 01:29:18.087 --> 01:29:20.320 In fact, I can probably say I did put him on the map. 01:29:20.322 --> 01:29:24.057 He started out at my practice, he was still wet behind the ears. 01:29:24.059 --> 01:29:26.760 - Not much older than you are now. - Really? 01:29:29.063 --> 01:29:32.265 I knew right away he was a superstar. 01:29:32.267 --> 01:29:35.702 He had that... "It" quality, 01:29:35.704 --> 01:29:40.040 that undefinable essence that nobody else saw, 01:29:40.042 --> 01:29:41.508 but I sure as Hyannis port did. 01:29:42.677 --> 01:29:45.412 I mean, look at him over there, my goodness. 01:29:45.414 --> 01:29:48.281 Lovely wife, baby on the way. 01:29:48.283 --> 01:29:50.417 Big, successful author. 01:29:50.419 --> 01:29:53.153 Well-paid lecturer on the national circuit. 01:29:53.155 --> 01:29:56.390 He owes me a debt of gratitude for where he is today. 01:29:56.392 --> 01:29:59.860 Not that I'm asking for thanks, I'm just stating that as a fact. 01:29:59.862 --> 01:30:03.563 But if I were him, I would thank me. 01:30:03.565 --> 01:30:07.834 At least in, you know, the foreword of the book. 01:30:07.836 --> 01:30:10.370 And if I'm being 100% truthful here, 01:30:10.372 --> 01:30:12.806 I learned a lot of things from him. 01:30:16.911 --> 01:30:19.713 I can't think of any right now. 01:30:19.715 --> 01:30:22.616 No, he doesn't need my help anymore. 01:30:22.618 --> 01:30:25.986 Nope, he's got it all... Figured out. 01:30:25.988 --> 01:30:29.790 With a smug smile that says: 01:30:29.792 --> 01:30:33.960 "Yeah, my shit smells like three-dozen roses." 01:30:35.197 --> 01:30:37.164 I think I'm gonna go get in line with the others. 01:30:37.166 --> 01:30:39.933 Yeah, me, too.