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WEBVTT - https://subtitletools.com 00:00:29.584 --> 00:00:31.210 Can I get you to sign right here, please? 00:00:31.281 --> 00:00:33.116 Okay. Here you go. 00:00:33.242 --> 00:00:35.326 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 00:00:39.915 --> 00:00:41.457 Hi, Will. Package for you. 00:00:56.432 --> 00:00:58.605 I don't think anyone ever imagines on their wedding day 00:00:58.642 --> 00:01:02.103 be part of the 46% that doesn't live happily ever after. 00:01:03.981 --> 00:01:05.148 Will? 00:01:05.774 --> 00:01:08.025 Just heard we got the Quaker Oats account. 00:01:08.152 --> 00:01:10.945 Way to go. You must be completely psyched. 00:01:11.530 --> 00:01:12.780 Then again, 00:01:12.865 --> 00:01:14.407 I never thought I'd spend my days, 00:01:14.491 --> 00:01:16.868 weeks and years working in an advertising agency 00:01:16.994 --> 00:01:21.831 trying to figure out how to get kids to eat Cap'n Crunch instead of Froot Loops. 00:01:22.666 --> 00:01:25.668 But Tuesdays and Fridays are my favorite days. 00:01:25.794 --> 00:01:30.006 I get out of work early, and I go pick up my daughter, Maya, from school. 00:01:30.132 --> 00:01:33.426 Now, it's a great feeling when you find the right track to go with the day. 00:01:33.510 --> 00:01:37.263 And today, I have found the absolute perfect song. 00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:40.558 Bitches, they can kiss my... 00:01:41.310 --> 00:01:43.352 The other perfect song. 00:02:31.026 --> 00:02:32.568 Thank you. 00:02:33.445 --> 00:02:35.112 You're welcome. 00:03:58.155 --> 00:04:01.949 But sometimes, no matter how carefully you plan your playlist, 00:04:02.034 --> 00:04:05.494 there is no right track for what awaits you. 00:04:11.710 --> 00:04:14.795 - Come on, come on! - Hey, what's going on? 00:04:14.880 --> 00:04:17.340 Will, did you know there was gonna be a sex ed class today? 00:04:17.466 --> 00:04:18.507 Aren't they kind of young? 00:04:18.634 --> 00:04:21.677 - Yeah! It was a total disaster. - At least it got them reading. 00:04:21.803 --> 00:04:22.970 There's a book! 00:04:23.055 --> 00:04:26.390 "The 250 million sperm are ejaculated 00:04:26.516 --> 00:04:30.186 "and begin their treacherous journey towards the fallopian tubes! 00:04:30.312 --> 00:04:31.968 "One hundred million are wiped out instantly..." 00:04:31.980 --> 00:04:33.397 I'm gonna find Maya. 00:04:33.523 --> 00:04:34.899 Do you still have sex with Daddy? 00:04:35.025 --> 00:04:36.267 - What are you talking about? - Do you? 00:04:36.318 --> 00:04:37.902 - You know, we will go home and talk... - You do, don't you? 00:04:38.028 --> 00:04:40.339 - We will go home and talk about this. - I hate you, I hate you! 00:04:42.866 --> 00:04:46.535 Stop pulling on me! I am trying to get to the bottom of something! 00:04:46.745 --> 00:04:48.162 We need to talk. 00:04:48.914 --> 00:04:52.124 Which is when the man removes his penis from his pajamas 00:04:52.209 --> 00:04:53.459 and thrusts it into a woman's vagina... 00:04:53.543 --> 00:04:57.171 Okay, but Mrs. Gallagher didn't actually say "thrust." 00:04:57.589 --> 00:04:58.756 - Yeah. - Oh. 00:04:59.508 --> 00:05:00.716 But what I don't understand, 00:05:00.842 --> 00:05:03.636 Sammy Boigon's sister said he was an accident. 00:05:03.720 --> 00:05:07.682 I mean, how do you accidentally thrust a penis into... Hi, Luis. 00:05:07.766 --> 00:05:09.517 - Hey. - How do you accidentally... 00:05:09.601 --> 00:05:13.980 Stop saying "penis" and "thrust." Just say "tinkle part" or "wee-wee." 00:05:14.064 --> 00:05:15.106 Something cute. 00:05:15.232 --> 00:05:18.693 - Explain how Sammy was an accident. - That's complicated. 00:05:19.945 --> 00:05:22.780 - Penis! Penis. - Okay. All right, that's enough. 00:05:22.918 --> 00:05:24.627 Okay, they... 00:05:24.741 --> 00:05:28.077 It's not like his dad slipped on a banana peel. 00:05:28.203 --> 00:05:32.456 The accident was that Sammy's mom got pregnant. 00:05:33.625 --> 00:05:37.128 If they didn't want a baby, then how come they had sex? 00:05:38.463 --> 00:05:40.631 That's a very good question. 00:05:41.091 --> 00:05:44.260 I guess you could say that they were rehearsing. 00:05:46.138 --> 00:05:47.805 - Was I an accident? - No. 00:05:47.931 --> 00:05:49.932 - I was, wasn't I? - No. 00:05:50.058 --> 00:05:54.979 You were completely and totally on purpose. I knew exactly what I was getting into. 00:05:58.483 --> 00:06:01.027 I think you should tell me the story of you and my mom. 00:06:01.111 --> 00:06:04.780 Why do you keep saying "my mom" like I've never met her? 00:06:05.115 --> 00:06:09.160 Well, because now that you're getting divorced, 00:06:10.078 --> 00:06:12.329 she's mine, not yours. 00:06:12.456 --> 00:06:14.498 - Is that so? - Tell me how it happened. 00:06:14.624 --> 00:06:19.670 And the real story, not the, "Oh, we met, we fell in love, 00:06:19.796 --> 00:06:22.339 "and we decided to take all that love 00:06:22.466 --> 00:06:25.843 "and make a family, and that's how we made you." 00:06:25.969 --> 00:06:28.095 You know something? I'm gonna tell you the real, true story 00:06:28.180 --> 00:06:29.346 of how me and your mother met. 00:06:29.473 --> 00:06:31.015 - When I'm old enough. - Yep. 00:06:31.141 --> 00:06:34.393 - Look. I know love isn't a fairytale. - Really? 00:06:34.478 --> 00:06:35.853 Really. 00:06:37.022 --> 00:06:39.106 Did you have another girlfriend before you met her? 00:06:40.317 --> 00:06:41.734 Come on, tell me the truth. 00:06:43.653 --> 00:06:45.196 I had two serious girlfriends. 00:06:45.322 --> 00:06:48.741 And then some other, a smattering of other women that I dated. 00:06:48.825 --> 00:06:50.159 You know. 00:06:50.702 --> 00:06:51.827 What? 00:06:51.953 --> 00:06:54.205 What's the boy word for slut? 00:06:54.623 --> 00:06:58.042 They still haven't come up with one yet, but I'm sure they're working on it. 00:06:58.168 --> 00:06:59.543 You a vegetarian this week or not? 00:06:59.669 --> 00:07:01.045 - Yeah, I am. - Great. 00:07:01.171 --> 00:07:03.547 I'm guessing you weren't her first boyfriend. 00:07:03.673 --> 00:07:06.967 Maybe it was some nerdy guy, or maybe he was mean. 00:07:08.053 --> 00:07:09.512 Or maybe 00:07:10.847 --> 00:07:13.015 you were friends for the longest time, 00:07:13.141 --> 00:07:16.393 and then just when you were about to put your penis 00:07:16.520 --> 00:07:17.555 into somebody else’s vagina... 00:07:17.646 --> 00:07:18.750 Okay. Good night, Maya. 00:07:18.814 --> 00:07:20.189 ...you realized Mom was the only one for you! 00:07:20.315 --> 00:07:21.398 Bedtime! 00:07:21.525 --> 00:07:24.276 You still have to tell me the story of why you fell in love with her. 00:07:24.361 --> 00:07:27.696 I fell in love with her because she was smart and beautiful and fun. 00:07:27.823 --> 00:07:30.991 So now she's stupid and ugly and boring? 00:07:31.076 --> 00:07:33.369 - Of course not. - Then what's the problem? 00:07:33.495 --> 00:07:37.623 - It's complicated, Maya. - Everything with you is so complicated. 00:07:37.707 --> 00:07:42.670 I bet that if you just told me the story, you'd realize that it's not complicated at all. 00:07:42.838 --> 00:07:45.172 That you just love her. 00:07:46.007 --> 00:07:48.384 I know this is tough for you, but what are you thinking? 00:07:48.510 --> 00:07:51.137 That I'm gonna tell you this story and it's gonna make everything better? 00:07:51.221 --> 00:07:52.304 It doesn't work that way. 00:07:52.389 --> 00:07:56.392 Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. Tell me and we'll find out. 00:07:57.227 --> 00:08:00.646 No. Game over. It's time for bed. 00:08:00.730 --> 00:08:04.650 No, it's not time for bed! It's time for you to tell me the story! 00:08:04.734 --> 00:08:07.027 - Maya. - I need to know! 00:08:09.281 --> 00:08:10.865 I need to know. 00:08:13.034 --> 00:08:14.702 Fine! Fine! 00:08:15.078 --> 00:08:16.120 I'm gonna tell you the story, 00:08:16.246 --> 00:08:17.621 - but I'm not telling you who your mom is. - Fine. 00:08:17.747 --> 00:08:19.039 You're just gonna have to figure it out for yourself. 00:08:19.124 --> 00:08:20.469 - Good. - And I'm changing all the names 00:08:20.584 --> 00:08:22.877 and some of the facts, but I just decided that right now. 00:08:22.961 --> 00:08:26.213 - And then we'll see how smart you are. - I like it. It's like a love story/mystery. 00:08:26.298 --> 00:08:28.674 - Great. Sounds good. You ready? - No. 00:08:28.758 --> 00:08:29.800 No. 00:08:32.429 --> 00:08:34.305 - Take your time. - I will. 00:08:34.431 --> 00:08:36.515 - I know you will. - You go here. 00:08:36.600 --> 00:08:38.601 - Princess pillow? - Thank you. 00:08:38.727 --> 00:08:40.394 - You bet. - Okay. 00:08:48.278 --> 00:08:49.778 I'm ready. 00:08:49.905 --> 00:08:51.655 Once upon a time, 00:08:52.282 --> 00:08:56.744 before e-mails and cell phones and reality television shows, 00:08:57.621 --> 00:09:02.374 in 1992 to be exact, in a little town called Madison, Wisconsin, 00:09:02.459 --> 00:09:05.044 there lived a young man named William Hayes. 00:09:05.128 --> 00:09:08.714 - Hey, Will, man, Happy New Year. - Hey, yeah, you, too. 00:09:08.798 --> 00:09:14.011 Now, this young man was deeply, deeply in love with his college sweetheart. 00:09:14.137 --> 00:09:15.304 Let's call her... 00:09:15.430 --> 00:09:17.014 - Emily! - Emily! 00:09:17.474 --> 00:09:18.682 Emily! 00:09:19.935 --> 00:09:21.185 - Hey. - Hi. 00:09:21.311 --> 00:09:24.271 Ten, nine, eight... 00:09:24.356 --> 00:09:29.443 Hey, guess who's gonna be the luckiest guy on planet Earth in about four seconds? 00:09:29.527 --> 00:09:30.819 You. 00:09:30.946 --> 00:09:32.571 ...two, one! 00:09:32.656 --> 00:09:34.573 Happy New Year! 00:09:34.658 --> 00:09:36.575 They were a perfect couple. 00:09:36.660 --> 00:09:39.620 Except to really understand how this young man 00:09:39.704 --> 00:09:41.830 ended up marrying your mother, you'll also need to know 00:09:41.957 --> 00:09:46.585 that he had a very big, incredibly embarrassing dream. 00:09:46.670 --> 00:09:48.128 All rise 00:09:49.839 --> 00:09:54.009 for the President of the United States of America, 00:09:55.011 --> 00:09:56.553 William 00:09:56.972 --> 00:09:58.305 Matthew 00:09:59.307 --> 00:10:00.808 Hayes. 00:10:05.083 --> 00:10:06.917 You wanted to be President? 00:10:07.357 --> 00:10:10.359 I'm just, I don't understand why you have to work for Clinton in New York. 00:10:10.485 --> 00:10:12.319 Why can't you just work for him in Madison? 00:10:12.404 --> 00:10:14.446 Well, because they don't need me here. They need me in New York. 00:10:14.531 --> 00:10:18.826 They need him, Em. Will's the man. I can't believe you're letting him go. 00:10:18.910 --> 00:10:20.786 I mean, don't you know about New York girls? 00:10:20.870 --> 00:10:23.205 Besides being incredibly hot, they have no problem with casual sex, 00:10:23.331 --> 00:10:25.374 which by the way, I totally respect. 00:10:25.500 --> 00:10:27.710 - What if Charlie’s right? - Charlie’s never right. 00:10:27.836 --> 00:10:31.755 - He's functionally retarded. - I am worried New York's gonna change you. 00:10:31.881 --> 00:10:33.841 - Change can be good. - If we change together. 00:10:33.925 --> 00:10:36.635 So, we'll change together. 00:10:36.720 --> 00:10:39.722 Okay? It's two months in New York. I'll be back before you know it. 00:10:39.848 --> 00:10:41.015 Besides, we have a plan, right? 00:10:41.099 --> 00:10:44.518 The other thing I can't believe is that you'd risk leaving Emily here with me, 00:10:44.602 --> 00:10:48.605 'cause I gotta tell you, I've always had a thing for you... 00:10:49.274 --> 00:10:51.734 And I have absolutely no scruples. 00:10:54.237 --> 00:10:57.781 Wait! I almost forgot. You have to give this to Summer. 00:10:58.116 --> 00:10:59.158 She's the only girl I know in New York. 00:10:59.242 --> 00:11:00.326 - I want you to meet her. - Summer Hartley? 00:11:00.410 --> 00:11:01.660 - Yes. Yes. - That's her name? 00:11:01.745 --> 00:11:03.454 She was on my exchange program at Cambridge, 00:11:03.580 --> 00:11:06.832 and all the guys wanted to sleep with her, and you probably will, too. 00:11:06.916 --> 00:11:08.083 Maybe you should mail it to her. 00:11:08.209 --> 00:11:09.416 - That might be a better idea. - No. 00:11:09.419 --> 00:11:10.419 What is it? 00:11:10.545 --> 00:11:13.797 Something I should have sent her a long time ago. 00:11:14.799 --> 00:11:16.342 I love you, William Hayes. 00:11:18.428 --> 00:11:21.972 Okay. Go, go, go. Go be your brilliant self. 00:11:23.266 --> 00:11:25.642 Emily sounds like she would make a good mom. 00:11:25.769 --> 00:11:28.520 - I just don't know if she's my mom. - Why not? 00:11:28.605 --> 00:11:29.897 Everyone knows that the girlfriend 00:11:29.981 --> 00:11:32.858 in the beginning of the story always gets dumped. 00:11:32.942 --> 00:11:36.236 Which means maybe Summer Hartley is my mother. 00:11:53.088 --> 00:11:54.755 I'll never forget that day. 00:11:54.839 --> 00:11:58.634 There I was, arriving in the city I always dreamed about 00:11:58.760 --> 00:12:01.804 to work on a campaign that I believed in with all of my heart. 00:12:01.930 --> 00:12:05.391 And on top of that, I was positive that in just a few hours, 00:12:05.475 --> 00:12:08.435 the campaign manager would realize how brilliant I was. 00:12:08.520 --> 00:12:09.978 And then I'd be writing speeches, 00:12:10.105 --> 00:12:12.189 and then I'd be coming up with strategy, and before long... 00:12:12.315 --> 00:12:13.649 Will Hayes? 00:12:13.775 --> 00:12:15.401 - Hey. Gareth Henderson. - You're Gareth. 00:12:15.485 --> 00:12:18.112 - Hey, how are you? - Nice to meet you. We're walking, Hayes. 00:12:18.196 --> 00:12:22.449 I brought my C.V. and a sample of some speeches I wrote for Congressman Sweeney. 00:12:22.534 --> 00:12:26.495 Fantastic. I cannot wait to peruse these in my abundant spare time. 00:12:26.621 --> 00:12:29.665 In the meantime, here's a sample of the coffee and bagel order 00:12:29.791 --> 00:12:31.500 I'll need filled immediately. 00:12:31.626 --> 00:12:32.709 Wait! 00:12:33.169 --> 00:12:34.503 You want me to get coffee? 00:12:34.629 --> 00:12:37.631 At some point in our lives, we all get coffee. Your time's now. Come on. 00:12:37.715 --> 00:12:38.757 We're still walking, Hayes. 00:12:38.842 --> 00:12:41.510 Have the coffee here by 10:00, or Arthur's gonna kill me! 00:12:41.636 --> 00:12:44.513 That means I'm gonna have to kill you. I've killed before, Hayes. 00:12:44.639 --> 00:12:47.599 - You should know that. - What is this? 00:12:47.684 --> 00:12:49.268 That is a cellular telephone 00:12:49.352 --> 00:12:52.646 so I can get a hold of you wherever, whenever, for whatever. 00:12:52.730 --> 00:12:55.732 - Can somebody get me an aspirin, please? - Watch it! 00:12:55.859 --> 00:12:58.026 Glad to have you aboard, Hayes! 00:13:01.364 --> 00:13:03.365 - Hi. - What? Hi. 00:13:03.491 --> 00:13:06.326 Four weeks from now, voters of New York State 00:13:06.411 --> 00:13:10.080 will select their next Democratic nominee for President. 00:13:10.331 --> 00:13:12.416 Now, if Bill Clinton wins, 00:13:12.917 --> 00:13:15.878 I want you to all understand that it's gonna be as a direct result 00:13:16.004 --> 00:13:19.923 of the commitment and the energy of every person in this room. 00:13:20.425 --> 00:13:22.384 And I mean that. That's just a fact. 00:13:22.510 --> 00:13:25.554 Now, that's how important the work is. 00:13:25.680 --> 00:13:27.473 That each and every one of you is... 00:13:31.375 --> 00:13:33.876 What am I doing here? 00:13:34.314 --> 00:13:35.981 It's the new guy. 00:13:38.151 --> 00:13:40.903 - Hey. - Hey, is that the toilet paper guy? 00:13:44.365 --> 00:13:48.577 - Can I get a pack of Morley Red, please? - 3.25. 00:13:48.912 --> 00:13:52.831 3.25? These are $2.15 in Madison, Wisconsin. 00:13:52.916 --> 00:13:54.333 So go back to Madison. 00:13:54.417 --> 00:13:56.919 - Don't forget to write. - That's right. Don't forget to write. 00:13:57.045 --> 00:13:59.338 Hold it! Stop. Stop right there! 00:13:59.672 --> 00:14:01.089 You smoked? 00:14:01.174 --> 00:14:02.591 No. Yeah. 00:14:03.593 --> 00:14:06.553 But I didn't mean to tell you that. 00:14:07.889 --> 00:14:12.351 Listen. I was young, and I was stupid, and I haven't smoked in years. 00:14:12.435 --> 00:14:13.602 I promise you. 00:14:13.686 --> 00:14:16.855 Is there anything else you should tell me? 00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:19.358 Probably not. 00:14:25.281 --> 00:14:27.783 - Can I get 10 copies? - Put them on the pile. 00:14:27.867 --> 00:14:30.285 No, they're for Arthur. I need them like, 15 minutes ago. 00:14:30.411 --> 00:14:32.538 So if you wouldn’t mind... 00:14:32.872 --> 00:14:34.373 You're the toilet paper guy. 00:14:34.457 --> 00:14:37.960 - Wait. Who's that? - That's April. 00:14:38.753 --> 00:14:41.797 Yes. I am, in fact, the toilet paper guy, 00:14:41.881 --> 00:14:43.882 but feel free to call me the bagel-and-coffee guy. 00:14:43.967 --> 00:14:48.720 Or Todd in Accounting calls me Crystal, which I'm pretty sure is a girl’s name. 00:14:48.805 --> 00:14:51.890 - How many copies? - Ten. Please. 00:14:51.975 --> 00:14:54.268 - These? - Yeah, both of those. 00:14:55.478 --> 00:14:57.563 What made you become a Bill Clinton supporter? 00:14:57.647 --> 00:15:00.232 I'm not. This is a money gig. I get paid 12 an hour, 00:15:00.316 --> 00:15:04.570 which is better than babysitting, which is what I've been doing way too much of. 00:15:04.654 --> 00:15:06.154 You're a Democrat, right? 00:15:06.239 --> 00:15:09.575 Why does everyone have to be a Democrat or a Republican? 00:15:09.659 --> 00:15:10.935 I'm struggling with the copy machine. 00:15:10.994 --> 00:15:13.245 No, hold on. You're an Independent, aren't you? 00:15:13.329 --> 00:15:16.665 I am nothing. Why am I obligated to be something? 00:15:16.791 --> 00:15:20.002 Why do I have to have an opinion about everything anyway? 00:15:20.086 --> 00:15:22.087 I mean, really, what do I know about missile systems 00:15:22.171 --> 00:15:24.423 or Social Security, or the tax code? 00:15:24.507 --> 00:15:27.593 What about civil rights or women's rights? 00:15:27.677 --> 00:15:30.012 A woman's right to do what she wants with her body? What about that? 00:15:30.096 --> 00:15:32.598 I do what I want with my body. 00:15:32.682 --> 00:15:35.017 That's apathetic. 00:15:35.101 --> 00:15:36.768 - I'm not apathetic. - Yes, you are. 00:15:36.853 --> 00:15:40.188 I'm not. I just know that these bozos you're working for, 00:15:40.315 --> 00:15:42.384 they don't care about anything more than their own ambitions. 00:15:42.442 --> 00:15:43.609 That's absolutely not true. 00:15:43.693 --> 00:15:46.028 You think this guy, Bill Clinton, is gonna make a huge difference? 00:15:46.112 --> 00:15:48.113 - I do. - He's gonna do what's already inevitable. 00:15:48.197 --> 00:15:50.282 - Okay, that's where you're wrong. - Don't make me staple your head! 00:15:50.366 --> 00:15:52.784 You're wrong. He's gonna make a difference with African Americans. 00:15:52.869 --> 00:15:54.620 He's gonna make a difference with women. He gets women. 00:15:54.704 --> 00:15:56.429 - My God. - I mean, look at his record in Arkansas. 00:15:57.540 --> 00:15:59.124 Read his plans on health care. Read his plans on education. 00:15:59.208 --> 00:16:00.876 - Okay, or don't. You know, yeah. - Oh, my God, I'm sorry. 00:16:00.960 --> 00:16:01.960 - Yeah, I'm sorry. - I just fell asleep. 00:16:02.045 --> 00:16:03.462 - I'm really sorry. - Yeah. That's fine. 00:16:03.546 --> 00:16:04.713 Wake up to a new America. 00:16:04.839 --> 00:16:06.598 - I believe you. - This has been really interesting. 00:16:06.674 --> 00:16:09.885 - Fine. You convinced me. You're nothing. - I'm nothing. 00:16:10.011 --> 00:16:11.803 So I'm here to repeat in front of all of you... 00:16:11.888 --> 00:16:14.640 Hey! Listen up! Look up, everybody! 00:16:15.350 --> 00:16:18.226 Yes, I was Bill Clinton's lover for 12 years. 00:16:18.311 --> 00:16:19.415 Hey, somebody turn it up. 00:16:19.479 --> 00:16:23.482 For the past two years, I have lied to the press about our relationship to protect him. 00:16:23.566 --> 00:16:25.901 The truth is, I loved him. 00:16:27.737 --> 00:16:29.821 Now he tells me to deny it. 00:16:29.906 --> 00:16:35.952 Well, I'm sick of all of the deceit, and I'm sick of all of the lies. 00:16:36.412 --> 00:16:40.957 Well, you're right about one thing. He certainly gets women. 00:16:41.083 --> 00:16:44.166 - This has been fun. Yeah. - Bye, toilet paper guy. 00:16:44.253 --> 00:16:45.879 Bye, copy girl. 00:16:46.631 --> 00:16:48.173 Oh, my God. It never ends. 00:16:48.257 --> 00:16:50.154 They just keep playing it over and over and over again. 00:16:50.259 --> 00:16:51.570 - It's gonna blow over. - Right. 00:16:51.636 --> 00:16:52.678 People don't really care about this stuff. 00:16:52.762 --> 00:16:54.846 - That's the thing. - What I don't understand, 00:16:54.931 --> 00:16:57.224 I've heard Bush has a mistress. 00:16:57.308 --> 00:17:00.602 Everybody's talking about it, so why is it okay for him and not for Clinton? 00:17:00.728 --> 00:17:01.978 She's trashy. 00:17:03.231 --> 00:17:05.691 I mean, her hair alone is enough reason to go after Clinton. 00:17:05.775 --> 00:17:07.984 Big deal. Everyone has their weaknesses, you know? 00:17:08.111 --> 00:17:11.029 Those chubby redheads with the long, fake fingernails? 00:17:11.114 --> 00:17:13.573 - That's what Daddy likes. - That's just nasty. 00:17:13.658 --> 00:17:15.826 Gareth, you are unfailingly repugnant. 00:17:15.952 --> 00:17:19.830 Hey. That is a coincidence. I love women that say "unfailingly repugnant." 00:17:19.956 --> 00:17:21.039 You know what I love? 00:17:21.124 --> 00:17:23.375 I love long-haired brunettes with horn-rimmed glasses. 00:17:23.459 --> 00:17:25.585 I have no idea why. They're like kryptonite to me. 00:17:25.670 --> 00:17:27.003 I got that one, too. 00:17:27.130 --> 00:17:30.340 I got a thing for guys who've got a thing for me. 00:17:31.634 --> 00:17:33.566 You might wanna look at that. I'm gonna propose a toast. 00:17:33.636 --> 00:17:35.137 I am fine with that. 00:17:35.263 --> 00:17:37.389 - To Bill and his weaknesses. - Yes. 00:17:37.473 --> 00:17:38.724 - To Bill. - To Bill. 00:17:45.982 --> 00:17:47.023 Hello? 00:17:47.150 --> 00:17:48.775 Hey! It's me! 00:17:48.860 --> 00:17:50.527 - Is that Emily? - Is that Emily? 00:17:50.653 --> 00:17:52.571 - Hi, Emily! - Hi, Emily! 00:17:52.655 --> 00:17:53.822 What's all that noise? 00:17:53.948 --> 00:17:57.534 Nothing. That's just a couple of idiots I work with making fun of me 00:17:57.660 --> 00:18:02.164 because they don't have a beautiful girlfriend that they're eternally devoted to! 00:18:02.290 --> 00:18:03.290 You're drunk. 00:18:03.374 --> 00:18:04.750 You're beautiful. 00:18:04.834 --> 00:18:07.627 - You're horny. - You might be right. 00:18:08.880 --> 00:18:11.506 Emily? Come to New York. 00:18:11.632 --> 00:18:14.384 You'll love it here. It's the energy, the people. It's amazing. 00:18:14.510 --> 00:18:18.597 Whoa, did you just say "energy"? Will, you did not just say "energy." 00:18:18.681 --> 00:18:19.890 What? 00:18:21.184 --> 00:18:22.976 You're never coming back. 00:18:23.060 --> 00:18:26.980 Hey, come on, now. I just want you to come for a weekend. 00:18:28.149 --> 00:18:30.150 You're right. I'm sorry. 00:18:31.569 --> 00:18:33.361 Did you call Summer? 00:18:33.863 --> 00:18:37.532 No. I left her a message. She didn't get back to me. 00:18:39.827 --> 00:18:42.454 Hey. You okay? 00:18:42.538 --> 00:18:44.456 Yeah. I'm just really lonely here, 00:18:44.540 --> 00:18:47.709 and I miss you like crazy, and it's really hard. 00:18:49.253 --> 00:18:51.421 Yeah. I know what you mean. 00:19:13.236 --> 00:19:17.531 - Hey. What are you doing up? - Mr. McCormack. 00:19:17.615 --> 00:19:21.868 Come on, you've been staring at that package for about a week now. 00:19:23.204 --> 00:19:25.997 How was the rest of your evening? Successful, I take it. 00:19:26.082 --> 00:19:31.086 Oh, my goodness. I'm in big trouble. I love this girl! 00:19:31.754 --> 00:19:33.213 You know, that's usually a good thing. 00:19:33.297 --> 00:19:36.091 It's hard enough to get elected the first black President 00:19:36.217 --> 00:19:39.010 without having Julia Roberts on your arm at the inauguration. 00:19:39.095 --> 00:19:42.013 That is an impressive mental leap, Russ, 00:19:42.098 --> 00:19:45.892 going from a one-night stand to being sworn in as President. 00:19:47.103 --> 00:19:48.436 Open it. 00:19:48.563 --> 00:19:51.606 I know you're dying to know what's inside. 00:19:51.732 --> 00:19:55.485 Just her name alone, Summer Hartley, is driving me... 00:19:55.611 --> 00:19:58.238 Look it! You got a tear right there! I see it. 00:19:58.322 --> 00:20:01.199 Come on through. You can do it. 00:20:01.284 --> 00:20:03.118 Thank you. Yes. 00:20:08.082 --> 00:20:10.458 - It's a diary. - Sweet Jesus. Let me see. 00:20:10.585 --> 00:20:14.754 No! Stop! Stop right there. We're not gonna read this. We can't. 00:20:15.506 --> 00:20:19.843 "The boys' dorm is across the quad, their windows visible from ours. 00:20:20.469 --> 00:20:23.013 "The evenings are hot and sticky. 00:20:23.139 --> 00:20:27.475 "We are all half-dressed, pretending we can't be seen by the boys. 00:20:27.602 --> 00:20:30.478 "Some of us are bold. My new friend 00:20:31.314 --> 00:20:33.315 "Emily is sweet 00:20:34.275 --> 00:20:38.445 "and embarrassed by it all, always waiting to see what I will do." 00:20:39.155 --> 00:20:43.783 Don't stop! This is good stuff. Where were you? Okay. 00:20:44.410 --> 00:20:48.371 "It's our last night, and the plan has been in place for days. 00:20:48.497 --> 00:20:50.957 "Emily and I are the last to leave, 00:20:51.042 --> 00:20:55.754 "and as we reach the stairs, I grab Emily firmly by her wrist. 00:20:55.838 --> 00:21:01.259 "She looks up at me expectantly and I know what will happen next." 00:21:01.344 --> 00:21:03.345 - Do you? - I think I have a pretty good idea. 00:21:03.429 --> 00:21:05.847 Oh, my goodness! 00:21:06.599 --> 00:21:09.601 What are you doing? This is good stuff, man! 00:21:11.437 --> 00:21:13.063 Wait a minute. 00:21:14.440 --> 00:21:16.358 Is that your Emily? 00:21:16.776 --> 00:21:18.693 Good night, Russell! 00:21:19.362 --> 00:21:21.279 She is a freak! 00:21:21.364 --> 00:21:23.698 Put the picture back! 00:21:37.546 --> 00:21:38.880 Wow. 00:21:43.886 --> 00:21:47.514 - Who is it? - Will Hayes. I called earlier. 00:21:48.724 --> 00:21:51.101 You a Jehovah's Witness? 00:21:51.227 --> 00:21:52.435 No. 00:21:52.561 --> 00:21:54.396 Christ, you're tall. 00:21:56.649 --> 00:21:57.941 Hi. 00:22:08.661 --> 00:22:10.578 - Come in. - Okay. 00:22:10.663 --> 00:22:12.747 Close the door behind you. 00:22:13.791 --> 00:22:15.083 Lock it! 00:22:15.835 --> 00:22:20.171 Summer said to hang tight. She'll be back. She wants you to wait. 00:22:20.256 --> 00:22:25.176 - What do you got in there? - I don't know. Are you Summer's father? 00:22:25.845 --> 00:22:27.846 Yeah. I'm her daddy. 00:22:42.528 --> 00:22:45.530 - Drink? - No. No. It's a little early for me. 00:22:45.614 --> 00:22:48.116 Early. You're fresh off the boat, aren't you? 00:22:48.200 --> 00:22:52.996 So tell me about yourself. What's your deal? What do you aspire to? 00:22:53.122 --> 00:22:56.291 What are your dreams? What are your fancies? 00:22:56.375 --> 00:22:59.044 What do you want to be when you grow up? 00:22:59.128 --> 00:23:00.336 - Sit down! - Okay. 00:23:00.463 --> 00:23:01.796 What do you do now? You... 00:23:01.881 --> 00:23:03.433 Wait, don't tell me. You work for your daddy. 00:23:03.466 --> 00:23:04.549 - No. - No, don't tell me! 00:23:04.633 --> 00:23:05.759 Wall Street. No! 00:23:05.843 --> 00:23:08.928 You kiss ass to some fancy uptown law firm. 00:23:09.013 --> 00:23:12.015 - Actually... - No! I give up. What do you do? 00:23:12.141 --> 00:23:15.643 I'm working for Bill Clinton. He's running for President. 00:23:15.728 --> 00:23:16.853 No. 00:23:17.688 --> 00:23:18.855 I know who Bill Clinton is. 00:23:18.981 --> 00:23:21.733 Yeah, in fact, I know more about Bill Clinton than his own mother. 00:23:21.817 --> 00:23:22.901 - Really? - Yep. 00:23:22.985 --> 00:23:25.570 - What do you do? - What do I do? 00:23:25.654 --> 00:23:26.988 I drink! 00:23:27.406 --> 00:23:28.656 Drink! 00:23:29.575 --> 00:23:31.034 Be a man. 00:23:33.746 --> 00:23:36.081 There you go! Isn’t that better? 00:23:37.083 --> 00:23:38.416 Swallow! 00:23:40.252 --> 00:23:42.170 So tell me about Bill Clinton. 00:23:45.841 --> 00:23:47.842 Hey. Wake up. 00:23:58.354 --> 00:24:00.063 You want some aspirin? 00:24:06.695 --> 00:24:09.030 - You must be Will. - Hi. 00:24:09.615 --> 00:24:12.617 I see you drank my boyfriend under the table. 00:24:13.709 --> 00:24:16.876 - He's not your father? - Is that what he told you? 00:24:16.956 --> 00:24:18.039 Hmm. 00:24:18.124 --> 00:24:20.041 He's my thesis advisor. 00:24:20.209 --> 00:24:21.292 Oh. 00:24:21.710 --> 00:24:22.877 What else did he tell you? 00:24:22.962 --> 00:24:26.339 He was telling me how to be a real man, as opposed to the sort of 00:24:26.423 --> 00:24:29.759 - boy-man I seem to be. - Did you learn anything? 00:24:30.553 --> 00:24:32.762 Yeah, there's a lot of drinking involved. 00:24:32.888 --> 00:24:35.098 Also cursing and fighting. 00:24:35.224 --> 00:24:36.516 - Sex? - Yes. 00:24:36.600 --> 00:24:38.434 Although that's not what we real men call it. 00:24:38.561 --> 00:24:40.395 What do you call it? 00:24:41.730 --> 00:24:45.900 I have something for you. This is from Emily. 00:24:46.819 --> 00:24:50.655 - Haven't talked to her in ages. - We'll be moving in together in the fall. 00:24:50.739 --> 00:24:51.906 Uh-huh. 00:24:53.242 --> 00:24:55.368 Oh, please! Daddy. 00:24:59.999 --> 00:25:01.749 Oh, come on! No. 00:25:02.751 --> 00:25:04.335 Oh, this is... 00:25:14.013 --> 00:25:15.763 Did you read this? 00:25:16.432 --> 00:25:17.640 I didn't. 00:25:21.270 --> 00:25:23.605 - I read a page. - A page. 00:25:23.689 --> 00:25:25.356 - Two pages at the most. - Two? 00:25:25.441 --> 00:25:28.443 And the part about you and Emily touching each other and kissing. 00:25:28.611 --> 00:25:33.781 - Oh! That part, yeah. - Incredibly descriptive. I felt like I was there. 00:25:34.533 --> 00:25:36.492 You're a great writer. I mean... 00:25:36.619 --> 00:25:39.495 I think you should keep it. You should read it when you're lonely. 00:25:39.622 --> 00:25:43.750 - I can't. It's your diary, so I can't do that. - No, really, really. I just, I don't need it. 00:25:43.834 --> 00:25:45.919 I've already got it memorized, so I'll just leave it on the table. 00:25:46.003 --> 00:25:48.296 Keep a hard copy. That might be nice for me. 00:25:50.466 --> 00:25:53.593 I wonder why Emily gave it to you to give to me. 00:25:53.677 --> 00:25:54.802 Hmm. 00:25:56.847 --> 00:25:58.139 Hampton? 00:25:58.807 --> 00:26:01.267 - Hampton? - Are you gonna join us? 00:26:01.352 --> 00:26:03.728 That's Hampton Roth. He's an incredible writer. 00:26:03.812 --> 00:26:06.898 - His book on the McGovern campaign is... - Yeah. 00:26:07.566 --> 00:26:10.026 - You... - Yeah. We do. 00:26:11.070 --> 00:26:14.280 Look, have you ever actually had sex with a sexagenarian? 00:26:14.365 --> 00:26:17.325 - I haven't. - Well, then you shouldn't really judge. 00:26:17.409 --> 00:26:20.411 Well, actually, I'm not judging. Look at you. 00:26:20.496 --> 00:26:23.706 You're beautiful. You're sophisticated. You're a very talented writer. 00:26:23.832 --> 00:26:24.874 Thank you. 00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:27.293 I mean, to please a woman like you, it would obviously take a... 00:26:27.378 --> 00:26:29.087 - Real man. - Exactly. 00:26:29.171 --> 00:26:33.341 - Hard to compete with that. - Well, unless you're the competitive type. 00:26:35.177 --> 00:26:39.055 - Yep, nice to meet you. - Yeah, it was great meeting you, too. 00:26:39.431 --> 00:26:42.100 I feel horrible about taking the... 00:26:54.780 --> 00:26:55.947 Sorry. 00:26:57.116 --> 00:26:58.992 I was just curious. 00:26:59.702 --> 00:27:02.996 Hampton encourages me to cultivate my curiosity. 00:27:04.498 --> 00:27:07.000 He says it's the key to being a good journalist. 00:27:07.584 --> 00:27:08.751 Yeah. 00:27:09.003 --> 00:27:12.005 Summer! Daddy's hungry! 00:27:13.173 --> 00:27:15.675 - Speak of the devil. Better go. Yeah. - Hmm. 00:27:15.759 --> 00:27:16.863 Where the hell are you? 00:27:16.927 --> 00:27:18.553 - Okay, bye. - Bye. 00:27:18.929 --> 00:27:22.390 Yeah, give us a call sometime. We should all go out for dinner. 00:27:22.474 --> 00:27:24.225 I'd... Yeah, I'd love dinner. 00:27:24.310 --> 00:27:25.727 - Yeah. - Hey! 00:27:28.188 --> 00:27:30.690 - Are you gonna call her? - Are you insane? 00:27:30.774 --> 00:27:33.026 - Well, what are you gonna do? - What am I gonna do? 00:27:34.278 --> 00:27:38.698 I'm gonna keep my eye on the ball. Emily and I have a future. We have a plan. 00:27:38.782 --> 00:27:40.658 Which may involve some type of threesome now. 00:27:40.743 --> 00:27:43.369 Or foursome if that old dude is still in the picture. 00:27:43.454 --> 00:27:45.288 You're not helping. 00:27:46.165 --> 00:27:50.752 I never should have opened that diary. It's like Pandora's hot, sexy box. 00:27:51.587 --> 00:27:53.004 What's a threesome? 00:27:53.088 --> 00:27:54.922 - What? A threesome. 00:27:57.301 --> 00:28:01.346 That's a game that adults play sometimes when they're bored. 00:28:04.224 --> 00:28:07.101 Whatever. So what happened with Emily? 00:28:07.186 --> 00:28:09.687 Nothing. I wanted to wait till she came for a visit, 00:28:09.772 --> 00:28:12.607 and then I decided to do something really dramatic. 00:28:13.817 --> 00:28:16.944 It was just one week before the primary, and I had graduated 00:28:17.029 --> 00:28:21.449 from bagels and toilet paper to signs and bumper stickers. 00:28:24.286 --> 00:28:26.287 Jesus! Mercy! 00:28:26.372 --> 00:28:27.872 Hold, please. 00:28:28.707 --> 00:28:30.708 What am I doing here? 00:28:34.463 --> 00:28:39.050 Move over! Another foot! Go, another foot. Move over! 00:28:39.134 --> 00:28:41.302 Over, over, over! 00:28:46.183 --> 00:28:49.435 Just want to let everyone know that the new signs are ready. 00:28:49.520 --> 00:28:51.229 They're looking good. 00:28:51.313 --> 00:28:53.314 I wrote three speeches for Congressman Sweeney. 00:28:54.733 --> 00:28:55.983 How's high school? 00:28:56.068 --> 00:28:59.987 He's from Texas. His name's George Bush. But he is not the President. 00:29:00.072 --> 00:29:02.115 Instead, he's the eldest son of George and Barbara 00:29:02.199 --> 00:29:04.534 and considered a key political advisor of the White House. 00:29:04.618 --> 00:29:06.536 Bryant, well, you forgot to mention the Texas Rangers. 00:29:06.620 --> 00:29:07.662 Oh, okay. 00:29:07.746 --> 00:29:09.622 Man, if this guy's smart, he'll go back to baseball. 00:29:09.706 --> 00:29:11.040 - No kidding. - Anybody see Hayes? 00:29:11.125 --> 00:29:12.166 - No. - No. 00:29:12.626 --> 00:29:16.170 Hayes! Where is Hayes? Hayes! 00:29:16.672 --> 00:29:19.590 Is it true you graduated first of your class at Madison? 00:29:19.675 --> 00:29:21.384 - Yeah. - All right. 00:29:21.468 --> 00:29:23.302 - Come on. We're walking. - We're walking. 00:29:23.387 --> 00:29:25.430 Here's a list of Madison graduates in the New York area. 00:29:25.514 --> 00:29:27.348 These people earn 200 grand plus a year. 00:29:27.433 --> 00:29:30.852 We have a $10,000-a-plate fundraiser on Monday with 15 empty tables. 00:29:30.936 --> 00:29:33.396 I can't have that, Hayes. I need you to sell five of them. 00:29:33.480 --> 00:29:35.189 Hold on. No more coffee, bagels? 00:29:35.274 --> 00:29:36.983 - We'll see how this goes, okay? - Gareth. 00:29:37.067 --> 00:29:40.736 - What? - Thank you. I'm really happy right now. 00:29:40.863 --> 00:29:42.697 - Okay, Hayes. - Okay. 00:29:42.781 --> 00:29:46.826 - There's the desk. - Look at that. Yeah. 00:29:47.995 --> 00:29:50.204 Yeah, that's funny, the toilet paper. 00:29:50.289 --> 00:29:52.748 That's good because it's ironic. 00:29:52.833 --> 00:29:55.710 Yeah, that's right, everybody. My desk. 00:29:56.378 --> 00:29:58.713 Right here, I got a desk, and I got a list. 00:29:58.797 --> 00:30:02.008 And I have a phone. And this empty basket. 00:30:02.092 --> 00:30:03.426 No, no, no, I really don't agree 00:30:03.510 --> 00:30:07.054 that the Governor has a character problem, Mrs. Perleman. 00:30:07.139 --> 00:30:09.390 Did you know that 50% of Americans believe that 00:30:09.475 --> 00:30:11.017 marijuana use should be legalized? 00:30:12.311 --> 00:30:13.352 Hello? 00:30:13.437 --> 00:30:16.355 No, no, no, he wasn't a draft dodger. 00:30:16.482 --> 00:30:19.400 Besides, did you know that the majority of Americans believe 00:30:19.485 --> 00:30:22.570 that the Vietnam War was just a terrible idea? 00:30:23.113 --> 00:30:24.530 Both legs. 00:30:24.656 --> 00:30:27.408 Wow, I am sorry. You must miss them. 00:30:29.411 --> 00:30:34.832 Yes, I understand your concern, but I think you should remember 00:30:37.002 --> 00:30:39.879 that the Governor comes from a town called Hope. 00:30:40.714 --> 00:30:44.050 And hope is exactly what he stands for, so... 00:30:44.218 --> 00:30:47.762 No, no, I know it's corny, but I also think 00:30:47.846 --> 00:30:51.766 that sometimes corny is exactly what this country needs. 00:30:53.435 --> 00:30:56.646 That would be wonderful. No, thank you. 00:30:56.730 --> 00:30:58.105 Two seats. 00:30:58.732 --> 00:31:00.399 Okay, great. Thank you, Mr. Bishop. 00:31:02.110 --> 00:31:04.779 Yeah, the dinner's next Thursday. 00:31:05.822 --> 00:31:07.615 Yes, when I spoke with Hillary this morning 00:31:07.699 --> 00:31:12.370 she said that she wanted to get to know our most important supporters. 00:31:12.871 --> 00:31:15.122 No, I think you'd definitely enjoy meeting her. 00:31:15.207 --> 00:31:16.415 Yeah. 00:31:18.293 --> 00:31:21.379 An entire table? No, that is very possible. 00:31:21.463 --> 00:31:25.550 I'll put you down for one table, then. That sounds great. 00:31:25.634 --> 00:31:27.760 Okay, I look forward to seeing you next Thursday. 00:31:27.844 --> 00:31:29.554 Okay, thank you. 00:31:32.808 --> 00:31:36.852 I just sold an entire table for $50,000. 00:31:42.776 --> 00:31:45.194 That's my guy, Will. My guy. 00:31:49.709 --> 00:31:52.709 Toilet paper guy! Toilet paper guy! 00:31:53.537 --> 00:31:56.455 Good evening, gentlemen. Pack of Reds, please. 00:31:56.540 --> 00:31:59.375 3.60. New tax and a new warning. 00:32:00.377 --> 00:32:01.502 Christ. 00:32:02.254 --> 00:32:04.672 Tell us the truth, my friend. 00:32:04.756 --> 00:32:07.383 - Did that Clinton inhale or not? - What does it matter? 00:32:07.467 --> 00:32:10.845 That's like if your girlfriend catches you in bed with another woman, then you say, 00:32:10.929 --> 00:32:12.138 "But we didn't do it." 00:32:12.222 --> 00:32:15.433 - What, is that gonna matter to her? - Yeah, it does. Hi. 00:32:15.684 --> 00:32:19.061 - Hello. - Pack of American Eagles, blue, please. 00:32:19.146 --> 00:32:20.563 4.25. 00:32:20.647 --> 00:32:24.275 4.25? You pay $4.25 for a pack of cigarettes? 00:32:24.359 --> 00:32:26.277 They don't put as many chemicals in them. 00:32:26.361 --> 00:32:29.071 - So those are healthy cigarettes. - Something like that. 00:32:29.156 --> 00:32:31.240 So if there's not as many chemicals in them, 00:32:31.325 --> 00:32:34.410 they should cost less, not more, don't you think? 00:32:34.494 --> 00:32:37.163 They put saltpeter in your cigarettes, 00:32:37.247 --> 00:32:40.708 which make them burn faster, which make you smoke more. 00:32:40.792 --> 00:32:46.339 Which means, at the end of the day, your cigarettes actually cost more, not less. 00:32:48.759 --> 00:32:51.552 Copy girl, what I think you're actually paying for 00:32:51.637 --> 00:32:54.680 is the picture of the eagle and the pretty pastel colors. 00:32:54.765 --> 00:32:59.226 Some reassuring idea about your lifestyle. The rest is pretty much crap. 00:32:59.770 --> 00:33:01.687 - You wanna bet? - Sure. 00:33:01.772 --> 00:33:04.231 - 20 bucks. - I got 20 bucks. 00:33:04.316 --> 00:33:05.691 Easiest 20 bucks I ever made. 00:33:05.776 --> 00:33:06.817 - Really? - Yeah. 00:33:06.902 --> 00:33:08.592 That's funny. In a minute, I'll have 40. 00:33:08.654 --> 00:33:11.906 Okay, we have to inhale at the same time for the same amount of time. 00:33:11.990 --> 00:33:14.450 - Yep. - Ready, steady, go. 00:33:24.086 --> 00:33:27.338 - It's my birthday today. - Happy birthday. 00:33:36.640 --> 00:33:38.933 Why aren't you out celebrating? 00:33:39.559 --> 00:33:43.479 My boyfriend, Lucas, was taking me out for dinner and then to a party. 00:33:43.563 --> 00:33:48.275 But at last minute, he gets a gig in Philly, which, of course, he takes 'cause... 00:33:57.160 --> 00:33:58.869 Truth is he's far more interested in being 00:33:58.954 --> 00:34:01.956 the next Kurt Cobain than being my boyfriend. 00:34:02.374 --> 00:34:04.083 Who's Kurt Cobain? 00:34:05.419 --> 00:34:07.128 You're kidding me! 00:34:08.338 --> 00:34:09.630 What? 00:34:10.465 --> 00:34:11.799 Smoke. 00:34:17.305 --> 00:34:18.431 Oh. 00:34:18.515 --> 00:34:20.850 - Look at that. - Look at that. 00:34:26.565 --> 00:34:29.734 - All right. - No, come on. 00:34:29.818 --> 00:34:31.318 The satisfaction of me being right 00:34:31.403 --> 00:34:34.530 and you being wrong is more than enough for me. 00:34:34.656 --> 00:34:36.782 Well, I never welsh on a bet, so I'll tell you what. 00:34:36.867 --> 00:34:39.660 I'll take you out for dinner, for a birthday dinner. 00:34:39.745 --> 00:34:41.370 - What do you say? - Like a date? 00:34:41.496 --> 00:34:43.205 No, I didn't mean it like that. 00:34:43.331 --> 00:34:44.665 Like an "I feel sorry for you 00:34:44.750 --> 00:34:47.209 "because it's your birthday and you have no plans" dinner. 00:34:47.335 --> 00:34:49.962 - You know, one of those. - Well, I'll tell you what. 00:34:50.046 --> 00:34:52.047 You can take me to this party I have to go to, 00:34:52.174 --> 00:34:55.050 because there's no way I can face going alone. 00:35:02.392 --> 00:35:04.852 Yeah, I'm gonna go head over... 00:35:06.563 --> 00:35:07.730 Whoa. 00:35:09.608 --> 00:35:11.901 I think I'm a little out of my league here. 00:35:12.027 --> 00:35:13.861 Yes, you are. 00:35:18.408 --> 00:35:21.619 So Emily is what, like, your college sweetheart? 00:35:21.703 --> 00:35:23.621 - It's amazing how you do that. - What? 00:35:23.705 --> 00:35:25.289 The way you take the simplest statement, 00:35:25.373 --> 00:35:28.626 and then you twist it with a completely negative connotation. 00:35:28.710 --> 00:35:31.670 - It's really, actually, impressive. I'm amazed. - I didn't mean to do that. 00:35:31.755 --> 00:35:34.173 - But I understand. I get it. - I actually think it's very sweet. 00:35:34.257 --> 00:35:35.633 - See, you did it again. - Really? 00:35:35.717 --> 00:35:37.134 - Yeah. - I don't even know I'm doing it. 00:35:37.219 --> 00:35:40.387 It's probably hard for you to imagine a relationship based on mutual respect 00:35:40.472 --> 00:35:44.308 without even the slightest hint of whatever you call it, masochism. 00:35:44.392 --> 00:35:47.478 Well, if your deal with Emily is so gosh darn wonderful, 00:35:47.562 --> 00:35:49.313 then why don't you just marry her? 00:35:49.397 --> 00:35:51.232 What's stopping you? 00:35:52.400 --> 00:35:53.651 Nothing. 00:35:55.320 --> 00:35:56.654 - Wow. - Wow. 00:35:59.741 --> 00:36:01.575 She gets it tomorrow. I made a reservation 00:36:01.660 --> 00:36:03.911 at some fancy French restaurant on the Upper East Side. 00:36:03.995 --> 00:36:07.206 Oh, my God. You're doing it in front of a room full of strangers? 00:36:07.290 --> 00:36:11.961 - Yeah, I am. What's wrong with that? - No, nothing. I think it shows confidence. 00:36:12.087 --> 00:36:13.087 What are you gonna say? 00:36:13.171 --> 00:36:16.048 - I'm still working on it. I don't know. - Oh, you should work on it with me. 00:36:16.132 --> 00:36:20.678 You should practice with me. I'm really good at that. I will be Emily. 00:36:20.762 --> 00:36:25.140 I'm Emily, your college sweetheart. Is there something you wanted to ask me? 00:36:25.267 --> 00:36:27.476 - Emily... - Wait! You've got to get down on your knee. 00:36:27.602 --> 00:36:29.520 No, I'm not getting down on my knee. 00:36:29.604 --> 00:36:32.106 She'll like it. She'll like seeing you down on your knee. 00:36:32.190 --> 00:36:37.278 - I'm not getting down on my knee. - Such a mistake. Okay. 00:36:37.779 --> 00:36:39.655 - Emily. - Yes, William. 00:36:39.781 --> 00:36:42.116 Don't make me laugh. Emily, 00:36:42.534 --> 00:36:44.118 will you, 00:36:44.953 --> 00:36:45.953 um, 00:36:47.789 --> 00:36:49.290 marry me? 00:36:50.041 --> 00:36:53.168 - No. - Oh, my God. 00:36:53.295 --> 00:36:55.045 Well, what do you mean, "Will you, um, marry me?" 00:36:55.130 --> 00:36:56.714 I haven't seen you in weeks! 00:36:56.798 --> 00:36:59.925 You don't look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! 00:37:00.010 --> 00:37:03.888 You're asking me to give up my freedom, 00:37:03.972 --> 00:37:05.389 my joie de vivre 00:37:05.473 --> 00:37:08.058 for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? 00:37:08.143 --> 00:37:11.937 And why should I marry you, anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? 00:37:12.022 --> 00:37:15.482 Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us 00:37:15.567 --> 00:37:18.444 from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda? 00:37:18.528 --> 00:37:19.570 Oh! 00:37:20.030 --> 00:37:21.989 Oh, my God! 00:37:22.073 --> 00:37:25.242 - You should've got on your knee! - Just shut up! 00:37:27.245 --> 00:37:28.579 Here. 00:37:29.873 --> 00:37:32.416 I wanna marry you because you're the first person 00:37:32.500 --> 00:37:34.585 that I want to look at when I wake up in the morning 00:37:34.669 --> 00:37:37.254 and the only one I wanna kiss goodnight. 00:37:37.339 --> 00:37:41.175 Because the first time that I saw these hands, 00:37:41.885 --> 00:37:44.428 I couldn’t imagine not being able to hold them. 00:37:44.512 --> 00:37:48.182 But mainly, when you love someone as much as I love you 00:37:50.769 --> 00:37:53.103 getting married is the only thing left to do. 00:37:53.188 --> 00:37:55.606 So will you... 00:37:58.610 --> 00:37:59.777 Um... 00:38:02.614 --> 00:38:04.114 marry me? 00:38:05.033 --> 00:38:07.242 Definitely. Maybe. 00:38:08.703 --> 00:38:10.871 I have to think about it. 00:38:12.958 --> 00:38:14.458 Walk me home? 00:38:24.803 --> 00:38:27.930 - Do you want a cup of tea? - Yeah. I'd love one. 00:38:31.142 --> 00:38:32.393 Hey. 00:38:32.477 --> 00:38:34.812 How come you have so many copies of Jane Eyre? 00:38:34.896 --> 00:38:37.648 - It's a long story. - Really? 00:38:38.566 --> 00:38:40.567 It seems to be about 300 pages or so. 00:38:42.487 --> 00:38:44.113 Seriously, why? 00:38:45.407 --> 00:38:49.284 For my 13th birthday, I wanted a pair of gold stud earrings, 00:38:49.411 --> 00:38:53.539 and instead my dad bought me a hardcover copy of Jane Eyre. 00:38:53.623 --> 00:38:57.876 And inside, he wrote a beautiful inscription, which I could care less about at the time 00:38:57.961 --> 00:39:00.671 seeing as I was so pissed about the earrings, 00:39:00.755 --> 00:39:05.676 which was tragic as it turned out 'cause it was the last present he ever gave me. 00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:07.136 What do you mean? 00:39:07.262 --> 00:39:10.264 He died three weeks later in a car accident. 00:39:10.640 --> 00:39:13.809 Jesus. That's awful. 00:39:14.769 --> 00:39:16.186 I'm sorry. 00:39:16.521 --> 00:39:19.356 - Have you ever read it? - No. 00:39:19.441 --> 00:39:22.526 I read it every year or two. Each time it's different. 00:39:22.610 --> 00:39:24.945 It tells me different things. 00:39:25.947 --> 00:39:30.784 Anyhow, when I went away to college, my mom sold our house 00:39:30.869 --> 00:39:33.704 and somewhere along the way, Jane Eyre got lost. 00:39:33.788 --> 00:39:37.041 Now, every time I pass a second-hand bookstore, 00:39:37.125 --> 00:39:40.085 I look for the copy that my dad bought me for my birthday. 00:39:41.504 --> 00:39:42.713 I know I'll never find it. 00:39:42.797 --> 00:39:47.593 It's stupid, but it's become this, like, weird superstitious little... 00:39:47.677 --> 00:39:51.013 - It's not stupid. - Thanks. Hobby. 00:39:51.890 --> 00:39:53.807 What are all these? 00:39:53.975 --> 00:39:58.145 Oh, these are the ones I found that have inscriptions. 00:40:00.815 --> 00:40:05.152 "With love and hopes and dreams of second chances. Alice." 00:40:08.198 --> 00:40:09.448 What is this? 00:40:09.532 --> 00:40:13.327 This is Kurt Cobain. This is Nirvana. Do you like it? 00:40:14.245 --> 00:40:15.829 Yeah, I do. 00:40:17.373 --> 00:40:20.209 You think it's ridiculous that I want to be a politician, don't you? 00:40:20.335 --> 00:40:22.044 - Yes. - Thank you. 00:40:22.670 --> 00:40:26.924 No, no, I get the whole politician thing. It's easy to like you. 00:40:27.008 --> 00:40:29.760 That's true. That's very true. 00:40:29.844 --> 00:40:33.847 I just wonder if you want people to like you a little too much. 00:40:34.182 --> 00:40:36.141 That's also true. 00:40:36.226 --> 00:40:38.102 I should want them to hate me. 00:40:38.686 --> 00:40:41.188 I'm gonna start working on that right away. You got any tips for me? 00:40:41.272 --> 00:40:42.940 No, but you're off to a great start. 00:40:43.024 --> 00:40:44.128 - Yeah? - I'm hating you already. 00:40:44.192 --> 00:40:45.234 Good. 00:40:45.360 --> 00:40:46.860 What do you wanna be when you grow up? 00:40:46.945 --> 00:40:49.196 I mean, you're too smart to be making Xeroxes 00:40:49.280 --> 00:40:50.614 - and babysitting. - No. 00:40:50.698 --> 00:40:53.700 - I don't know! - Whatever else you do. 00:40:53.785 --> 00:40:57.412 I don't know, and I don't know how to know. You know? 00:40:59.874 --> 00:41:02.167 You know what I really wanna do 00:41:02.252 --> 00:41:06.046 is I wanna go to all those places that I know nothing about. 00:41:07.215 --> 00:41:09.258 I've been saving money. 00:41:09.384 --> 00:41:11.385 But I can't even get it together to do that. 00:41:11.469 --> 00:41:13.929 Probably because I'm stuck in a rut with this guy. 00:41:14.055 --> 00:41:15.681 You should dump him. 00:41:15.765 --> 00:41:20.602 I know that's none of my business, but you're too good for him. 00:41:20.979 --> 00:41:22.396 You are. 00:41:24.399 --> 00:41:27.067 - You know what's really cool? - I don't. 00:41:27.152 --> 00:41:30.863 We can just sit here and we don't have to worry about 00:41:30.947 --> 00:41:35.242 - flirting or all the attraction stuff. All that stuff. 00:41:36.286 --> 00:41:37.619 Very cool. 00:41:38.163 --> 00:41:39.288 Yeah. 00:41:56.139 --> 00:41:57.973 I got to go. 00:42:02.103 --> 00:42:03.437 Dumbass! 00:43:08.169 --> 00:43:10.295 - Oh, God. - There he is! 00:43:10.380 --> 00:43:14.132 - Told you he wouldn’t be long. - Hi! I wanted to surprise you! 00:43:14.209 --> 00:43:17.543 - I took the red-eye! - That's incredible! 00:43:18.513 --> 00:43:23.642 I was just telling Emily how Arthur sent you to Albany as part of the advance team. 00:43:23.726 --> 00:43:25.686 - Advance team. - Yeah. How'd it go? 00:43:25.770 --> 00:43:28.981 - How'd it go? Man, it went great! - Great. 00:43:29.065 --> 00:43:30.565 - Great. - Great. 00:43:31.109 --> 00:43:34.736 - Are you okay? - Oh, yeah, I was just getting a little exercise. 00:43:34.862 --> 00:43:36.530 - I ran up the stairs. - Okay. 00:43:36.614 --> 00:43:40.993 I'm going to the office. It's... Got a big day. Nice meeting you. 00:43:41.077 --> 00:43:42.160 - And you. - Okay. 00:43:42.245 --> 00:43:43.370 Okay. 00:43:44.375 --> 00:43:45.750 Good luck. 00:43:48.960 --> 00:43:50.419 - Hi. - Hi. 00:43:51.713 --> 00:43:53.797 - Here. - Yeah. 00:43:55.925 --> 00:43:57.217 Hey. 00:44:05.393 --> 00:44:08.603 - It's weird. Your tongue tastes different. - What? 00:44:09.397 --> 00:44:10.939 It tastes different, your tongue. 00:44:11.065 --> 00:44:14.651 - That is weird. - It's not bad. It's just different. 00:44:15.903 --> 00:44:18.113 Maybe it's the tap water here. 00:44:18.239 --> 00:44:21.575 Or the pH balance... I don't know what I'm talking about. 00:44:21.659 --> 00:44:24.578 Told you New York was gonna change you. 00:44:25.913 --> 00:44:28.123 - Could we maybe go for a walk? - Yeah. 00:44:28.249 --> 00:44:30.542 - Just to get some air? - Yeah, you could see New York. 00:44:30.626 --> 00:44:31.835 I would love that. 00:44:32.253 --> 00:44:33.837 I was gonna... 00:44:33.921 --> 00:44:36.089 - Oh, sorry. No, go. - What? 00:44:36.758 --> 00:44:42.512 I was gonna say, did I ever tell you about the day my dad proposed to my mom? 00:44:43.097 --> 00:44:44.139 No. 00:44:45.099 --> 00:44:48.352 Well, Dad was on his way to meet my mom to propose, 00:44:48.436 --> 00:44:52.773 and he runs into his ex-girlfriend, Caroline Hopper. 00:44:53.775 --> 00:44:56.234 And they're talking, they're looking at each other, 00:44:56.319 --> 00:44:58.236 and all these old feelings, they start coming up. 00:44:58.321 --> 00:45:00.447 And he's thinking, 00:45:01.699 --> 00:45:04.826 "I could run away right now with Caroline Hopper, 00:45:04.952 --> 00:45:06.578 "be a happy man. 00:45:06.662 --> 00:45:08.747 "All I have to do is kiss her." 00:45:08.831 --> 00:45:11.958 But instead, he looks up, 00:45:14.837 --> 00:45:18.298 and he sees my mom walking around the corner. 00:45:19.008 --> 00:45:22.427 And that moment he knows that he had no reason to be afraid. 00:45:22.512 --> 00:45:24.137 You understand? 00:45:26.557 --> 00:45:29.810 Am I Caroline Hopper in this story or your mom? 00:45:31.187 --> 00:45:32.354 Oh, my God! I'm your mom! 00:45:32.480 --> 00:45:34.274 - Emily, when I saw you this morning... - Will, please. 00:45:34.315 --> 00:45:35.649 - ...I knew... - Put that back in your pocket. 00:45:35.733 --> 00:45:37.275 - Just stand up, Will. Stop. - ...with absolute clarity. 00:45:37.360 --> 00:45:38.610 - Wait, wait, wait. - I have no reason to be afraid. 00:45:38.694 --> 00:45:39.986 - Let's think about this. - I'm not afraid of this. 00:45:40.071 --> 00:45:41.321 It's just like the day that my... 00:45:41.406 --> 00:45:42.572 Will! 00:45:43.199 --> 00:45:44.533 I slept with Charlie! 00:45:51.499 --> 00:45:53.667 I thought we had a plan. 00:45:54.419 --> 00:45:58.088 Well, you had a plan, Will. You have a really big plan! 00:45:58.172 --> 00:46:00.132 - Pretty sure we both had that plan. - I just can't keep pretending 00:46:00.216 --> 00:46:01.883 - that I want to be part of it anymore. - You were there 00:46:02.009 --> 00:46:03.593 - when we made it. - And I didn't know how to tell you. 00:46:03.678 --> 00:46:04.928 How do you tell someone that you care about 00:46:05.012 --> 00:46:06.096 that you don't want the same things 00:46:06.180 --> 00:46:07.556 - they want anymore? - The best way? 00:46:07.682 --> 00:46:10.434 Definitely having sex with the roommate. 00:46:12.395 --> 00:46:14.855 It was cowardly, and I'm sorry. 00:46:14.939 --> 00:46:16.690 Oh, good. 00:46:23.865 --> 00:46:25.532 You're killing me. 00:46:27.201 --> 00:46:30.036 No, I'm not. I'm letting you go. 00:46:31.038 --> 00:46:33.039 'Cause if we stay together, Will, we're gonna be miserable. 00:46:33.124 --> 00:46:34.332 I'm gonna hold you back from all these... 00:46:34.417 --> 00:46:37.669 - That's not true. - ...incredible dreams that you have. 00:46:37.753 --> 00:46:40.589 And then, eventually, you're totally gonna hate me for it. 00:46:40.715 --> 00:46:41.923 - No. - Yes. 00:46:42.049 --> 00:46:45.218 Will, I don't want that, and you don't want that. 00:46:46.095 --> 00:46:47.554 Trust me. 00:46:52.143 --> 00:46:55.061 You're gonna be just fine, Mr. Hayes, 00:46:55.980 --> 00:46:57.647 without me. 00:46:59.066 --> 00:47:00.150 Wow. 00:47:00.651 --> 00:47:01.902 Yeah. 00:47:02.820 --> 00:47:03.945 Wow. 00:47:04.655 --> 00:47:07.908 Here is Tom Brokaw in New York. 00:47:07.992 --> 00:47:10.577 Good evening. Bill Clinton may have been wounded in New York, 00:47:10.661 --> 00:47:12.454 but the big question tonight is, to what degree? 00:47:12.580 --> 00:47:15.916 Because, after all, he is the big survivor, indeed, the victor 00:47:16.000 --> 00:47:19.461 in the New York primary and by a comfortable margin. 00:47:34.667 --> 00:47:37.251 Goes 'round the moon 00:47:37.688 --> 00:47:42.442 I see the passion in your eyes 00:47:42.527 --> 00:47:47.447 Sometimes it's all a big surprise 00:47:47.532 --> 00:47:51.785 'Cause there was a time when all I did 00:48:05.633 --> 00:48:07.384 Hey. 00:48:07.677 --> 00:48:09.386 Congratulations. 00:48:09.971 --> 00:48:12.430 I hear they asked you to stay on. You must be very happy. 00:48:12.515 --> 00:48:16.393 Yeah, yeah, he did, and I am. Very, very happy. 00:48:16.477 --> 00:48:19.020 Really? Why do I feel like I should hide the razor blades? 00:48:19.146 --> 00:48:20.772 And the staplers and those scissors? 00:48:20.856 --> 00:48:24.526 I'll be fine. But this song, it's an excellent cure for the will to live. 00:48:24.652 --> 00:48:27.654 I know. What about the dancing? Make that end. 00:48:30.992 --> 00:48:33.702 I'm sorry about the other night. 00:48:33.828 --> 00:48:36.621 It's okay. I just didn't think that Lucas would approve. 00:48:36.709 --> 00:48:39.543 - Or Emily, for that matter. - Well. 00:48:39.667 --> 00:48:43.503 Besides, you and me, it'd kind of be like cats and dogs. 00:48:44.171 --> 00:48:45.839 Yeah. Yeah. 00:48:47.216 --> 00:48:50.760 - Oil and water. - Sandpaper and bare ass. 00:48:50.845 --> 00:48:52.971 - That's gross. That's just gross. - You'd be the ass. 00:48:53.055 --> 00:48:54.139 Yeah. No, thank you. 00:48:54.223 --> 00:48:55.534 - I'd be honored. - Lennon and McCartney. 00:48:55.600 --> 00:48:57.325 - They were good together. - Yeah, while it lasted, 00:48:57.351 --> 00:49:00.020 and then they couldn’t even be friends. 00:49:01.606 --> 00:49:05.358 - I think we can, at least, manage that. - I think we could. 00:49:08.529 --> 00:49:10.530 - Enchanté. - Yeah. Salud. 00:49:14.535 --> 00:49:16.453 - Come on, let's dance. - No. 00:49:16.537 --> 00:49:18.038 - Why? - Okay. 00:49:24.587 --> 00:49:27.047 - You ready? - Yeah. 00:49:37.266 --> 00:49:39.225 Guess that's it for Emily. 00:49:39.894 --> 00:49:43.563 I can't believe that she rehearsed with Charlie. 00:49:44.732 --> 00:49:49.194 - I can't believe it, either. - That leaves April. Maybe Summer. 00:49:49.278 --> 00:49:51.488 - Anybody else? - I was too busy. 00:49:51.572 --> 00:49:53.907 I was too busy working on the campaign. 00:49:53.991 --> 00:49:55.659 Anyway, when Clinton got elected, 00:49:55.743 --> 00:49:57.330 Russell and I started our own consulting firm, 00:49:58.162 --> 00:50:00.789 and we worked on campaigns for everybody. 00:50:00.915 --> 00:50:02.374 City council, state senate. 00:50:02.458 --> 00:50:04.417 We even did one for the local dog catcher. 00:50:04.502 --> 00:50:08.421 That's very interesting, Dad, but what about girlfriends? 00:50:08.506 --> 00:50:11.466 - What about Mom? - Well, I started dating again. 00:50:11.592 --> 00:50:15.261 - But nothing serious. - What about April? What happened to her? 00:50:15.346 --> 00:50:18.973 Well, a week after Kurt Cobain died, she broke up with her boyfriend. 00:50:19.100 --> 00:50:20.517 She went traveling. 00:50:20.601 --> 00:50:23.478 She traveled all over the world, just like she always dreamed of doing. 00:50:23.604 --> 00:50:27.232 And she says that it was because of something 00:50:27.316 --> 00:50:29.150 that I said to her on her birthday. 00:50:29.276 --> 00:50:32.237 Anyway, we started writing postcards. We started writing letters. 00:50:32.321 --> 00:50:35.615 And before I knew it, even though we were separated by entire worlds, 00:50:35.700 --> 00:50:37.617 we became great friends. 00:50:42.331 --> 00:50:45.667 It was 1994, and New York was full of new life. 00:50:45.793 --> 00:50:47.168 More jobs, more money. 00:50:47.294 --> 00:50:50.839 That was the start of the Internet. And overnight, everyone in Manhattan 00:50:50.965 --> 00:50:52.090 had a cell phone. 00:50:52.174 --> 00:50:53.216 Can you hear me now? 00:50:53.300 --> 00:50:55.135 Which they never put down. 00:50:56.971 --> 00:51:02.642 And then, our old boss, Arthur Robredo gave Russell and me our first big break. 00:51:02.727 --> 00:51:04.310 - This just came for you. - Thanks. 00:51:04.395 --> 00:51:08.523 I had finally made it inside the room. 00:51:08.983 --> 00:51:10.275 - Gareth. - Hayes. 00:51:10.359 --> 00:51:11.609 Good morning. 00:51:11.694 --> 00:51:13.361 Hey, let's get this party started. 00:51:14.029 --> 00:51:15.405 What's the word from upstate? 00:51:15.489 --> 00:51:18.241 For the first time, New York was coming to me, 00:51:18.325 --> 00:51:20.160 instead of the other way around. 00:51:20.578 --> 00:51:23.872 "The most endangered species in our nation 00:51:23.998 --> 00:51:26.791 "isn't a big woodpecker or some freshwater fish. 00:51:26.876 --> 00:51:29.544 "It's the tongue in our heads! 00:51:29.670 --> 00:51:33.381 "Listen to the truncated bastard language of today. 00:51:33.507 --> 00:51:36.342 "The average vocabulary is a third of what it was 100 years ago. 00:51:36.427 --> 00:51:40.847 "Words fall out of our mouths and die at our feet! 00:51:40.931 --> 00:51:43.975 "The landscape of vocabulary is being hacked down 00:51:44.059 --> 00:51:47.729 "and grubbed up by the dribble of pop culture, 00:51:47.855 --> 00:51:49.314 "poisoned by lazy obscenity..." 00:51:49.417 --> 00:51:50.459 Will? 00:51:50.524 --> 00:51:52.233 "...infantilized by a youth-obsessed media..." 00:51:52.359 --> 00:51:54.027 - Hey. - Hey. 00:51:54.904 --> 00:51:59.616 It's my favorite man-boy. You look very manly. 00:51:59.700 --> 00:52:03.119 Well, thank you, thank you. That's the aim. 00:52:03.913 --> 00:52:06.372 - How's Emily? - Emily. 00:52:07.458 --> 00:52:10.210 She's starring in somebody else’s diary now. 00:52:10.294 --> 00:52:11.461 Oh. 00:52:11.754 --> 00:52:16.090 - How's the Professor? - The Professor is wonderful. 00:52:16.217 --> 00:52:19.427 - He's funny. - He dumped me for a sophomore. 00:52:20.262 --> 00:52:22.597 Told me it was for my own good. 00:52:23.599 --> 00:52:26.810 Everybody seems to be using that line these days. 00:52:28.646 --> 00:52:30.605 What have you been up to? 00:52:31.607 --> 00:52:36.903 I'm writing these really dumb items for New York Magazine. 00:52:36.987 --> 00:52:38.780 Waiting for my big break. 00:52:38.906 --> 00:52:43.034 "And 'syntax' isn't what Nevada brothels pay the IRS." 00:52:44.286 --> 00:52:46.621 - I'm gonna go listen to the Professor. - Sure. 00:52:46.747 --> 00:52:47.789 Nice glasses. 00:52:47.915 --> 00:52:50.625 "Listen to your kids if you can." 00:52:50.751 --> 00:52:52.836 - Thank you. - Scotch, rocks, please. 00:52:53.671 --> 00:52:56.256 William Hayes! 00:52:58.175 --> 00:53:00.468 From... Don't tell me! 00:53:00.594 --> 00:53:03.763 Wisconsin! Yes, the Cheese State. 00:53:05.850 --> 00:53:07.475 Very nice of you to come to our little shindig. 00:53:07.601 --> 00:53:08.946 - I'll have another, please. - Pleasure. 00:53:08.978 --> 00:53:13.147 Yeah. Summer tells me you're writing speeches now for Arthur Robredo? 00:53:13.274 --> 00:53:17.485 - She tells me you're dating a sophomore. - No. Actually, it's two freshmen, 00:53:17.611 --> 00:53:20.989 which, on a good day, add up to a sophomore, I suppose. 00:53:22.283 --> 00:53:25.827 Walk with me. Why would you wanna work for a hack like Arthur Robredo? 00:53:25.953 --> 00:53:31.541 As I recall from our first encounter, you're a man of principles and ideals, even. 00:53:32.209 --> 00:53:36.546 Don't tell me you're just another yuppie puppy in an Armani suit. 00:53:36.630 --> 00:53:40.300 You were wonderful, darling. Is he being nice? You being nice? 00:53:40.384 --> 00:53:43.344 - Nice? Yeah, he can handle himself. - Sure, I can handle myself. 00:53:43.470 --> 00:53:46.890 First of all, Arthur Robredo is not a hack. He's worked his way up from the streets. 00:53:46.974 --> 00:53:49.142 He was a cop, an entrepreneur. 00:53:49.518 --> 00:53:53.104 He's a putz. This is exactly what my book is about. 00:53:53.188 --> 00:53:55.064 Here. Read it. It's free. 00:53:56.025 --> 00:54:00.236 Beauty, ideals, love don't mean squat anymore. 00:54:00.321 --> 00:54:03.114 - It's all about power and money. - I've read every single one of your books, 00:54:03.198 --> 00:54:05.241 and you're completely obsessed with power and money. 00:54:05.326 --> 00:54:07.827 That's because he doesn't have any. Right, babe? 00:54:07.912 --> 00:54:10.413 Babe, I am about the love. 00:54:10.497 --> 00:54:11.831 - As you know. - Yes. 00:54:11.916 --> 00:54:12.957 That's why you keep me around. 00:54:13.042 --> 00:54:16.753 To keep that rampant, rapacious ambition of yours in check. 00:54:18.339 --> 00:54:20.006 I have a thought. 00:54:20.507 --> 00:54:25.178 Why don't you use that newly acquired scintilla of power and influence 00:54:25.262 --> 00:54:30.266 to get Summer here to write an article about your man Robredo? 00:54:30.351 --> 00:54:33.561 That way Summer gets a break, and you get the word out. 00:54:33.687 --> 00:54:35.688 - What do you get, Hampton? - Yeah. 00:54:36.565 --> 00:54:41.069 I guess it's the love. More of the love. Yeah, that's what I'm about. 00:54:41.195 --> 00:54:42.320 More love. 00:54:42.404 --> 00:54:44.656 - I knew Summer would be back. - Did you? 00:54:44.740 --> 00:54:46.783 You know what? At first, I didn't want Summer to be my mom. 00:54:46.867 --> 00:54:49.410 But now I'm kinda liking her. Did you ask her out on a date? 00:54:49.536 --> 00:54:50.536 Uh-uh. 00:54:50.621 --> 00:54:54.040 I wanted to, but I couldn’t 'cause she was writing the article. 00:55:15.479 --> 00:55:20.608 - Wow. This is pretty good. - Will, this is really good. 00:55:25.990 --> 00:55:27.949 Are you sure it didn't seem like a puff piece? 00:55:28.075 --> 00:55:30.576 No, it's perfect. It's absolutely... 00:55:30.661 --> 00:55:34.580 You know, there's one part, though, that kind of bothered me. 00:55:35.082 --> 00:55:36.082 "William Hayes, 00:55:36.166 --> 00:55:41.254 "Robredo's chief speech writer, is both intense and boyishly handsome." 00:55:42.089 --> 00:55:43.673 - Boyishly? I mean... - Yeah. 00:55:44.925 --> 00:55:46.801 You know, I originally wrote, 00:55:46.927 --> 00:55:50.388 "William Hayes has seductive eyes and the intriguing looks of someone 00:55:50.472 --> 00:55:52.765 "whose clothes you wanna rip from his very body," 00:55:52.850 --> 00:55:55.935 but the editor made me change it. 00:55:56.020 --> 00:55:58.646 There's just no room for truth in journalism. 00:55:59.857 --> 00:56:01.941 Did you always want to be a journalist? 00:56:02.026 --> 00:56:06.946 No. Until I was 16, I wanted to be an actress. I wanted to sing on Broadway. 00:56:07.031 --> 00:56:08.531 Wow. Really? 00:56:08.615 --> 00:56:11.409 Yeah, really. Is that hard to believe? 00:56:11.493 --> 00:56:15.872 Well, aren't actresses needy and emotional and, you know, insecure? 00:56:15.956 --> 00:56:17.040 That sort of thing. 00:56:17.124 --> 00:56:20.418 What are you saying? That I don't need? That I don't have emotions? 00:56:20.502 --> 00:56:22.170 - I'm an incredibly needy person. - I'm not saying that. 00:56:22.296 --> 00:56:23.588 - I'm a very needy person. - You know what I'm saying? 00:56:23.672 --> 00:56:26.299 I'm saying I would love to hear a song. 00:56:26.800 --> 00:56:28.801 - I'm sorry? - Give us a song. 00:56:29.803 --> 00:56:32.305 - You want me to sing you a song? - Why not? 00:56:34.141 --> 00:56:36.601 - You have a favorite? - Yes. 00:56:36.685 --> 00:56:38.227 - You do? - Yeah. 00:56:41.065 --> 00:56:42.190 Okay. 00:56:44.918 --> 00:56:49.377 How glad the many millions 00:56:49.490 --> 00:56:53.743 Of Timothys and Williams would be 00:56:53.827 --> 00:56:56.204 - I'm a William. - Don't interrupt. 00:56:56.330 --> 00:56:58.498 To capture me 00:56:59.083 --> 00:57:02.168 But you had such persistence 00:57:02.252 --> 00:57:05.046 You wore down my resistance 00:57:05.172 --> 00:57:06.881 I fell 00:57:08.092 --> 00:57:10.009 And it was swell 00:57:13.013 --> 00:57:15.348 It's not that you're attractive 00:57:15.432 --> 00:57:16.516 Wow. 00:57:16.600 --> 00:57:19.102 Will you please put it on? 00:57:22.564 --> 00:57:24.774 You know, it really isn't so bad. 00:57:24.858 --> 00:57:27.735 You know what the funny part is? It's $1,000. 00:57:29.613 --> 00:57:36.619 I've got a crush on you, sweetie pie 00:57:36.703 --> 00:57:38.704 Frank Sinatra, Linda Ronstadt. 00:57:38.789 --> 00:57:40.039 - Why? A whole bunch of these. 00:57:40.124 --> 00:57:45.253 Well, if you look on the back, they all have one common song, which is... 00:57:45.379 --> 00:57:47.880 - I've Got A Crush On You. - Every one of them. 00:57:49.133 --> 00:57:52.552 - How's it going? - Still got a lot to do. 00:57:54.096 --> 00:57:56.097 Yeah, me, too. 00:57:59.726 --> 00:58:01.727 - Yeah, I'm about done. - Yeah, me, too. 00:58:01.812 --> 00:58:07.233 The world will pardon my mush 00:58:07.734 --> 00:58:14.490 'Cause I've got a crush, my baby, on... 00:58:41.435 --> 00:58:43.102 Was I snoring? 00:58:43.687 --> 00:58:44.854 Uh-uh. 00:58:50.152 --> 00:58:52.486 You know what I've never done? 00:58:53.447 --> 00:58:54.614 What? 00:58:55.949 --> 00:58:59.493 I've never spent the whole day in bed with a really great guy. 00:58:59.828 --> 00:59:00.995 Me, neither. 00:59:02.164 --> 00:59:04.373 I'm serious. 00:59:04.458 --> 00:59:07.668 I always think of something more important to do. 00:59:07.792 --> 00:59:09.668 I'm a workaholic. 00:59:11.131 --> 00:59:12.798 It's really bad. 00:59:17.012 --> 00:59:19.847 Will you spend the whole day in bed with me? 00:59:21.225 --> 00:59:22.892 We do nothing. 00:59:29.691 --> 00:59:30.733 Oh. 00:59:40.911 --> 00:59:43.955 Hi, this is Summer. Please leave a message, and I will call you back. 00:59:45.249 --> 00:59:46.582 This is Dr. Levenstein 00:59:46.667 --> 00:59:49.377 from the Columbia Presbyterian emergency room. We have... 00:59:49.503 --> 00:59:51.587 Emergency room? Hello? 00:59:51.880 --> 00:59:55.883 - Mr. Roth has had an aortal rupture. - What does that mean exactly? 00:59:56.009 --> 00:59:58.386 Think of it like a tire blowing out on the highway 00:59:58.512 --> 01:00:00.888 after going too fast for way too long. 01:00:03.517 --> 01:00:06.394 How's that, Mr. Roth? Are you comfortable? 01:00:06.520 --> 01:00:07.812 I make a living. 01:00:10.399 --> 01:00:14.568 Come on, sweetheart, give me a smile. I've waited my whole life to do that joke. 01:00:16.405 --> 01:00:17.905 Poor Hampton. 01:00:18.573 --> 01:00:19.615 Ow! 01:00:19.700 --> 01:00:21.701 Summer's come. 01:00:24.788 --> 01:00:27.498 - What's he doing here? - Hello, Hampton. 01:00:27.582 --> 01:00:28.749 Hello. 01:00:32.087 --> 01:00:34.338 One thing they've left intact. 01:00:34.423 --> 01:00:36.757 No, no, no, no, no, no, don't mention grassroots. 01:00:36.883 --> 01:00:37.883 Don't mention osmosis. 01:00:37.968 --> 01:00:40.219 It's killing me that you're going out with the kid. 01:00:40.304 --> 01:00:44.932 Really? It's not the booze or the cigarettes or the sophomores? 01:00:45.058 --> 01:00:47.852 - That has nothing to do with this. - Nothing to do with it. 01:00:47.936 --> 01:00:52.315 Listen, I want you to know I've donated my organs to medical science 01:00:52.399 --> 01:00:54.734 except for one, which is for you. 01:00:55.610 --> 01:01:00.823 - Sweetie, that's so kind. - No, no, not that. 01:01:00.907 --> 01:01:03.242 My heart, stupid. 01:01:06.496 --> 01:01:09.707 Please tell me you're not in love with him. 01:01:09.791 --> 01:01:11.500 I can't do that. 01:01:15.339 --> 01:01:18.883 Can I have a cigarette? Just a dying man's last request. 01:01:18.967 --> 01:01:22.845 Not happening. God, you're such a drama queen. 01:01:22.929 --> 01:01:24.597 Nobody's dying. 01:01:26.975 --> 01:01:29.894 What do you care if I'm in love with him, huh? 01:01:29.978 --> 01:01:32.021 You're the one who set us up, remember? 01:01:32.105 --> 01:01:34.899 Yeah, well, I kind of figured you'd chew him up and spit him out. 01:01:34.983 --> 01:01:38.319 You're such a sweetie. You're a sweet guy, you know that? 01:01:39.363 --> 01:01:42.365 - I read the Robredo piece. - Yeah. 01:01:44.618 --> 01:01:46.702 The guy's been in New York politics for over 20 years 01:01:46.787 --> 01:01:51.374 and all you can dig up is that his daughter had an eating disorder? 01:01:51.875 --> 01:01:53.793 What are you saying, Hampton? 01:01:55.379 --> 01:01:56.879 Do your job. 01:02:05.347 --> 01:02:08.808 I can't believe we're finally gonna meet the President. 01:02:08.892 --> 01:02:11.394 - Look at that. - Look at it. 01:02:11.478 --> 01:02:13.938 We've come a long way from that hotel room on 8th Avenue. 01:02:14.022 --> 01:02:15.439 Thank you very much. 01:02:15.524 --> 01:02:18.067 I don't believe it! I don't believe it! 01:02:18.151 --> 01:02:20.903 Which idiot forgot to check the menus and the programmes? 01:02:20.987 --> 01:02:23.155 There's no union seal on the menus or the programmes. 01:02:23.240 --> 01:02:24.323 Are you serious? 01:02:24.408 --> 01:02:25.991 The hotel workers won't let anybody into the building. 01:02:26.076 --> 01:02:27.410 The Teamsters won't set up the satellite feed! 01:02:27.494 --> 01:02:29.245 Has anyone seen Robert Klein? 01:02:29.329 --> 01:02:30.746 I was with him like an hour ago. Now he's gone. 01:02:30.831 --> 01:02:32.331 I think he was completely plastered. 01:02:32.416 --> 01:02:33.958 How are we supposed to know where Robert Klein is? 01:02:34.042 --> 01:02:36.460 You're not gonna believe this, but there's a hailstorm in Chicago. 01:02:36.545 --> 01:02:37.837 Who cares about Chicago? 01:02:37.921 --> 01:02:39.839 We do. The President's coming in from Chicago. 01:02:39.923 --> 01:02:41.507 - Okay, okay. - We can't worry about that right now. 01:02:41.591 --> 01:02:43.557 Let me ask you a question. How could you let this happen? 01:02:43.677 --> 01:02:46.126 - What? What are you talking about? - Why are you jumping down her throat? 01:02:46.179 --> 01:02:48.139 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Guys, guys, guys, guys, hey! 01:02:48.223 --> 01:02:52.059 Hey, deep breath, okay? Look, let's just ask the hotel, 01:02:52.185 --> 01:02:54.061 see if we can use the Internet connection and find a printer. 01:02:54.187 --> 01:02:55.646 - I'll call Klein’s agent. - Great. 01:02:55.730 --> 01:02:57.148 Gareth, have a drink. 01:02:57.232 --> 01:02:59.733 You, I don't know who you are, but your fly’s down. 01:02:59.860 --> 01:03:02.445 Be great if you wore underwear. I'm gonna go check the weather in Chicago. 01:03:02.529 --> 01:03:06.449 Table seven's up. Six pasta. Two fish. Get it out the door, now! 01:03:10.203 --> 01:03:11.704 He may not be in your union, 01:03:11.788 --> 01:03:14.331 but he still happens to be the President of the United States. 01:03:14.416 --> 01:03:15.791 Remember him? So if I was you, 01:03:15.876 --> 01:03:17.842 - I'd get your men off that truck and in this... - Gareth! 01:03:17.878 --> 01:03:20.421 You can't talk to a Teamster like that! Come on. 01:03:20.547 --> 01:03:21.839 - This guy... - Everything's gonna be fine. 01:03:21.923 --> 01:03:22.965 Look, look, check it out. 01:03:23.049 --> 01:03:24.425 I downloaded a copy of the union seal. 01:03:24.551 --> 01:03:26.138 If you could just please paste it onto a menu, 01:03:26.219 --> 01:03:29.180 make 500 copies, use a union shop. We're gonna be home free, here. 01:03:29.264 --> 01:03:31.432 Copies? You want me to make copies? 01:03:33.894 --> 01:03:36.562 Well, at some point, we all make copies. Your time is now. 01:03:36.646 --> 01:03:38.647 That's not funny, Hayes. That's very... 01:03:38.732 --> 01:03:41.108 Yeah, that's real mature. Where are you going? 01:03:41.234 --> 01:03:43.402 I'm walking! Back in half an hour. 01:03:43.487 --> 01:03:45.112 What a dick. 01:03:47.792 --> 01:03:49.334 - Yeah. - William Hayes? 01:03:49.409 --> 01:03:50.576 Speaking. 01:03:50.660 --> 01:03:53.120 I'm watching you right now. 01:03:53.246 --> 01:03:56.457 And I know all about you and your friend Robredo. 01:03:56.583 --> 01:03:59.877 In fact, I know so much, I could bring you both down. 01:03:59.961 --> 01:04:01.295 Really? 01:04:02.589 --> 01:04:06.175 - Who am I speaking with? - Why don't we meet, and you'll find out? 01:04:07.177 --> 01:04:09.428 - Where are you? - I'm close by. 01:04:10.138 --> 01:04:14.642 I don't have a lot of experience with whatever this is. 01:04:15.477 --> 01:04:16.977 You're getting warm. 01:04:18.813 --> 01:04:22.525 You're hot. 01:04:22.609 --> 01:04:24.944 You are so hot! 01:04:27.531 --> 01:04:28.656 I got you! 01:04:30.158 --> 01:04:31.700 I thought you were gone through the summer. 01:04:31.785 --> 01:04:34.954 No, I thought so, too, but this crazy thing happened. 01:04:35.038 --> 01:04:38.165 I mean, I was camping on this beautiful beach in Crete 01:04:38.291 --> 01:04:41.794 with all these really cool people, and there was this guy that I liked, Paco, 01:04:41.878 --> 01:04:45.214 brooding and sexy, monosyllabic and totally my type. 01:04:45.298 --> 01:04:48.175 One night I'm dancing with Paco and he kisses me, 01:04:48.301 --> 01:04:50.844 - an incredible, deep kiss. - Spare me the details. 01:04:50.971 --> 01:04:53.347 - And what do I do? - I don't know. What'd you do? 01:04:53.473 --> 01:04:54.682 I start crying. 01:04:54.808 --> 01:04:57.291 - I mean, tears are rolling down my cheeks... - Of course you start crying. 01:04:57.310 --> 01:05:00.729 ...which he doesn't notice 'cause, of course, his hands are all over my body, 01:05:00.814 --> 01:05:03.357 which felt nice, which made me feel even more upset, 01:05:03.483 --> 01:05:05.025 'cause in a flash 01:05:05.151 --> 01:05:08.779 I saw our entire relationship, from present to future tense. 01:05:08.863 --> 01:05:13.701 I mean, the incredibly hot start, with Paco basking in my love and admiration... 01:05:14.202 --> 01:05:16.287 - What are we doing here? - I just got to pick something up. 01:05:16.371 --> 01:05:17.413 Just take a second. 01:05:17.497 --> 01:05:20.332 And then the inevitable moment, and I don't know why it... 01:05:20.417 --> 01:05:21.709 - Hello. - Hi. 01:05:21.835 --> 01:05:24.336 I don't know why it happens, but it always does, 01:05:24.421 --> 01:05:26.672 when all that love and admiration would start to irritate him 01:05:26.756 --> 01:05:28.882 and he'd find some way to hurt me. 01:05:29.509 --> 01:05:31.510 I mean, sure, after, he'd be sorry. 01:05:31.595 --> 01:05:33.220 So... 01:05:33.346 --> 01:05:37.182 I decided to unlock his beautiful lips from mine, 01:05:37.267 --> 01:05:39.393 remove his hand from my ass, 01:05:41.563 --> 01:05:45.274 - and I walked away. - Good move. 01:05:45.358 --> 01:05:48.068 - I walked away, Will! From Paco! - Good move. 01:05:48.194 --> 01:05:50.654 - No one walks away from Paco! - I like the story. 01:05:50.739 --> 01:05:52.990 And it felt life-changing. 01:05:53.074 --> 01:05:55.367 And I realized I had to tell someone. 01:05:55.452 --> 01:05:57.453 When I realized who that person was, 01:05:57.537 --> 01:05:59.538 - it was so unexpected. - Here we are, sir. 01:05:59.623 --> 01:06:01.415 It's like when something is staring you in the face 01:06:01.541 --> 01:06:04.543 and it's like you're too blind to see it. 01:06:04.628 --> 01:06:05.919 What's that? 01:06:07.964 --> 01:06:10.215 I have some news for you, too. 01:06:15.305 --> 01:06:17.598 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why are you so upset? 01:06:17.724 --> 01:06:20.684 Don't you think it's a little weird we've been writing each other for however long 01:06:20.769 --> 01:06:22.728 and somehow you neglect to tell me that, 01:06:22.812 --> 01:06:27.441 A, you've fallen in love, and, B, you've fallen in love! 01:06:27.567 --> 01:06:29.109 - I told you I was dating someone. - Dating someone. 01:06:29.235 --> 01:06:31.862 You just bought a diamond engagement ring for someone! 01:06:31.946 --> 01:06:34.031 I'm sorry. I think I was just nervous to tell you. 01:06:34.115 --> 01:06:36.742 Why would you be nervous to tell me? 01:06:38.453 --> 01:06:40.120 I don't know. 01:06:40.622 --> 01:06:42.665 I love this girl so much. 01:06:44.125 --> 01:06:46.752 I'd just really like you to be happy for me. 01:06:47.962 --> 01:06:51.632 I can be happy for you. Of course I can be happy for you. 01:06:55.345 --> 01:06:56.929 Poor April. 01:06:57.013 --> 01:07:00.474 She's like the character in the story who's always been the friend. 01:07:00.600 --> 01:07:03.602 Then she realized she doesn't just want to be the friend. 01:07:03.687 --> 01:07:06.647 She wants to be the girlfriend, except it's too late. 01:07:06.773 --> 01:07:08.148 What do you mean? 01:07:08.274 --> 01:07:11.318 Weren't you listening? She came home for you. 01:07:17.033 --> 01:07:19.535 There's union seals on all the menus, my friend. 01:07:19.619 --> 01:07:23.288 The weather cleared in Chicago. The President will be here by 8:00. 01:07:23.373 --> 01:07:24.498 Where's Russ? 01:07:24.624 --> 01:07:26.333 Gonna meet you and Arthur in the restaurant. 01:07:26.459 --> 01:07:28.043 I'm funnier over here. 01:07:30.130 --> 01:07:32.297 I can't stop my leg 01:07:38.638 --> 01:07:39.972 You're early. 01:07:45.729 --> 01:07:47.229 Good to see you. 01:07:47.313 --> 01:07:49.148 - You look great. - Thank you. You, too. 01:07:49.232 --> 01:07:52.359 - That's a nice tie. - Well, you'd know. 01:07:53.361 --> 01:07:57.448 So, the magazine asked me to do a follow-up on Robredo. 01:07:57.532 --> 01:08:00.534 - Great. - Yeah, it is great. It's also... 01:08:01.501 --> 01:08:03.168 It's... 01:08:04.664 --> 01:08:06.832 You just read it. 01:08:06.916 --> 01:08:08.709 - You already wrote it. - Yeah. 01:08:17.886 --> 01:08:20.137 - He did this? - Yes. 01:08:20.221 --> 01:08:24.641 They actually got a friend an early parole. 01:08:24.726 --> 01:08:29.396 You know what? I think it happened such a long time ago, 01:08:29.522 --> 01:08:31.398 and you're way ahead in all the polls. 01:08:31.524 --> 01:08:36.153 Yeah, see, I don't think that's gonna matter, because he's the tough-on-crime Democrat. 01:08:36.237 --> 01:08:37.696 That's... 01:08:38.198 --> 01:08:40.365 When people read this... 01:08:42.702 --> 01:08:44.953 Summer, listen to me. 01:08:45.038 --> 01:08:48.081 If you hand this in, we won't survive it. 01:08:48.208 --> 01:08:50.834 I think it'll be a big deal for about a week, and then the storm will pass... 01:08:50.919 --> 01:08:53.128 I'm talking about you and me. 01:08:54.631 --> 01:08:58.217 "Candidate Brought Down by Speechwriter's Girlfriend." 01:08:58.301 --> 01:09:00.886 - Come on. - I'm just doing my job. 01:09:01.930 --> 01:09:04.473 I didn't do it the first time around. 01:09:04.557 --> 01:09:08.060 And if I didn't write this, somebody else would. 01:09:09.062 --> 01:09:10.229 Let them. 01:09:10.730 --> 01:09:13.106 Hey, don't hand this in, okay? 01:09:18.905 --> 01:09:20.739 You already did. 01:09:36.798 --> 01:09:38.090 Mr. Arthur... 01:09:39.467 --> 01:09:40.926 Yeah, sure. 01:09:41.678 --> 01:09:43.178 I really liked Summer. 01:09:43.263 --> 01:09:45.097 I can't believe she turned out to be such a... 01:09:45.181 --> 01:09:46.390 - Heartbreaker? - No. 01:09:46.474 --> 01:09:48.767 - Opportunist? Double-crossing... - Uh-uh. 01:09:48.852 --> 01:09:50.727 - Bitch. - Maya. 01:09:50.812 --> 01:09:52.646 How could she do that to you? 01:09:52.772 --> 01:09:56.316 It's like she said. If she didn't write it, someone else would have. 01:09:56.442 --> 01:09:57.943 And it was the truth. 01:09:58.027 --> 01:10:00.320 So did she? Did she break it? 01:10:00.446 --> 01:10:01.780 What? 01:10:07.787 --> 01:10:09.621 What happened when the article came out? 01:10:25.805 --> 01:10:29.474 You screwed up, man. You really screwed up. 01:10:29.559 --> 01:10:31.318 Please save it. I don't need to hear this right now. 01:10:31.352 --> 01:10:33.628 Whenever I figure out whatever I'm supposed to learn from all this, 01:10:33.688 --> 01:10:35.981 - I'll write you a letter! - Yeah, can't wait. 01:10:36.065 --> 01:10:41.194 So I lost my girl, I lost my job, and I lost my friend. 01:10:42.155 --> 01:10:45.866 And for a long time, nothing seemed to matter. 01:10:46.659 --> 01:10:48.911 But I wasn't the only one with problems. 01:10:48.995 --> 01:10:53.832 I did not have sexual relations with that woman, 01:10:53.917 --> 01:10:54.958 Miss Lewinsky. 01:10:56.169 --> 01:10:57.502 I never told anybody to lie. 01:10:57.670 --> 01:10:59.338 - Hello? - Are you watching? 01:10:59.422 --> 01:11:01.506 These allegations are false. 01:11:01.633 --> 01:11:02.674 April? 01:11:02.800 --> 01:11:06.678 Yeah, April. Who'd you think it was? Are you watching or not? 01:11:06.804 --> 01:11:08.639 Of course I'm watching. 01:11:09.724 --> 01:11:11.183 You think he did it, don't you? 01:11:11.309 --> 01:11:15.896 I don't think, I know. Look at the picture of her. I love her. 01:11:16.022 --> 01:11:17.856 She's so his type. 01:11:19.984 --> 01:11:22.986 So, what took you so long to finally call me back there, red? 01:11:23.071 --> 01:11:24.738 I thought I lost you. 01:11:24.864 --> 01:11:28.867 - Feels like years. - I'm calling you now, aren't I? 01:11:29.994 --> 01:11:31.036 Yeah. 01:11:31.704 --> 01:11:33.872 How are you? What's doing? 01:11:33.998 --> 01:11:36.041 I got a new roommate, Olivia. 01:11:37.251 --> 01:11:38.835 And I'm working at a bookstore. 01:11:39.879 --> 01:11:42.172 But I've been thinking about going back to school. 01:11:42.256 --> 01:11:43.465 Cool. 01:11:43.549 --> 01:11:45.258 Hey, did I tell you that I hate my job? 01:11:45.385 --> 01:11:48.053 I used to love what I do, and now I feel like a complete hack. 01:11:48.888 --> 01:11:53.809 - Are you seeing anyone? - Me? Am I... No, no. Absolutely not. 01:11:53.893 --> 01:11:56.812 In fact, I haven't had sex since Clinton was re-elected. 01:11:56.896 --> 01:11:59.898 Why bother? He's having enough sex for the entire country. 01:12:00.024 --> 01:12:01.984 Easy. Easy now. 01:12:02.068 --> 01:12:05.362 Hey, maybe you should follow his lead and seduce an intern. 01:12:05.446 --> 01:12:07.739 You know, it's funny that you should mention that. 01:12:07.865 --> 01:12:11.702 There's a fetching young intern who just started a week ago. 01:12:11.786 --> 01:12:13.578 Great. Ask her out. 01:12:14.288 --> 01:12:16.123 I should, shouldn't I? 01:12:17.083 --> 01:12:20.961 But I don't think I will. You see, I don't want a fling. 01:12:21.087 --> 01:12:23.088 I want the real deal. 01:12:23.214 --> 01:12:26.425 Forget about the real deal. You don't find it, it finds you. 01:12:26.551 --> 01:12:29.636 What does that mean? I don't know what that means. 01:12:29.762 --> 01:12:32.931 It means that you get to a certain age and then you're ready. 01:12:33.057 --> 01:12:36.268 You know, you're ready for kids or a commitment or, you know... 01:12:36.394 --> 01:12:37.769 - Sir. - ...a mortgage. 01:12:37.895 --> 01:12:39.855 - Table’s ready. Okay. - Thanks. 01:12:39.939 --> 01:12:40.981 You know what I mean? 01:12:41.107 --> 01:12:44.192 And the person that you're with then, they become the one. 01:12:44.277 --> 01:12:47.029 So you're saying it's not who, but it's when. 01:12:47.113 --> 01:12:48.822 - Exactly. - Okay. All right. 01:12:48.948 --> 01:12:52.951 So there's never been a guy, ever, that made you think, "This is it. 01:12:53.077 --> 01:12:54.953 "This is him. This is the one." 01:12:55.496 --> 01:12:56.663 No. 01:12:57.457 --> 01:13:00.417 Okay, then why aren't you out there, you know, enjoying yourself? 01:13:00.501 --> 01:13:01.752 I am. 01:13:01.836 --> 01:13:03.670 - You are? - Yes. 01:13:04.464 --> 01:13:06.673 Right now I'm seeing this guy, Kevin. 01:13:07.341 --> 01:13:08.967 - Kevin. - Kevin. 01:13:09.093 --> 01:13:10.343 Who the hell's Kevin? 01:13:10.470 --> 01:13:13.764 Where did... How come you never, you know, mentioned anything about him? 01:13:13.848 --> 01:13:15.599 I'm mentioning him now. 01:13:16.642 --> 01:13:19.686 Oh, God! They have fresh mint tea. I love fresh mint tea. 01:13:19.812 --> 01:13:21.146 I love beer. 01:13:21.689 --> 01:13:25.859 It depends upon what the meaning of the word "is" is. 01:13:25.985 --> 01:13:31.114 If it means "there is none" that is a completely true statement. 01:13:38.164 --> 01:13:39.578 Hey, this is April. 01:13:39.665 --> 01:13:42.501 I want to talk to you about your birthday. Call me. 01:13:44.170 --> 01:13:47.964 Hello. I hope this is the right number. It sounds like you. 01:13:48.049 --> 01:13:49.674 It's Emily! 01:13:51.135 --> 01:13:53.804 I'm in New York, and I was thinking 01:13:53.888 --> 01:13:57.182 maybe we could get a cup of coffee and catch up. 01:13:57.683 --> 01:13:58.892 My number... 01:14:00.895 --> 01:14:04.815 Hey, it's April. I still need to talk to you. Please call me back. 01:14:04.899 --> 01:14:06.691 I mean, don't make me come over there and hurt you. 01:14:09.654 --> 01:14:12.155 Okay, I'm coming! 01:14:13.157 --> 01:14:14.991 God, I'm coming. 01:14:16.035 --> 01:14:17.702 Yeah, I get it. 01:14:21.207 --> 01:14:23.208 What are you doing in there? 01:14:23.918 --> 01:14:26.086 - Is this what you're wearing? - What? 01:14:26.212 --> 01:14:29.506 It's your birthday party. Everybody is waiting for you. 01:14:29.590 --> 01:14:31.091 Oh, Christ. 01:14:31.217 --> 01:14:33.343 Five minutes, okay? Five... 01:14:35.888 --> 01:14:37.764 - I'm down. - Are you okay? 01:14:37.890 --> 01:14:40.559 Yeah. I just need to lie here for a sec. 01:14:42.061 --> 01:14:44.396 I see you've been eating noodles. 01:14:47.900 --> 01:14:49.943 Hey, everybody, he's here! 01:14:55.575 --> 01:14:56.700 Thanks. 01:14:57.910 --> 01:14:59.035 Hi. 01:15:01.956 --> 01:15:04.916 Oh, my God! I didn't think you'd be here! 01:15:05.042 --> 01:15:07.294 I couldn’t miss your birthday. We came all the way up from Washington. 01:15:07.420 --> 01:15:09.087 Happy birthday, gorgeous. 01:15:09.755 --> 01:15:11.923 That is a beautiful woman right there. 01:15:12.049 --> 01:15:13.633 You had your chance, pal. 01:15:13.759 --> 01:15:15.093 Hayes. 01:15:20.433 --> 01:15:21.766 Come on. 01:15:24.645 --> 01:15:28.064 - It's great to see you. - Yeah. You look... 01:15:28.149 --> 01:15:29.649 Homeless, I know. 01:15:30.818 --> 01:15:33.153 - Where's Kelly? - She's right over there. 01:15:33.279 --> 01:15:36.072 It's her first night out since the baby was born. 01:15:37.283 --> 01:15:38.617 Congratulations. 01:15:40.119 --> 01:15:43.872 Iran-Contra. Arms for oil, no problem. 01:15:43.956 --> 01:15:47.626 But a little "oralness" and you're headed for impeachment. 01:15:48.628 --> 01:15:51.296 - No politics! - Maybe he should be impeached. 01:15:51.422 --> 01:15:53.965 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait! Did he say that? 01:15:54.091 --> 01:15:57.010 - Why not? I put my faith in him. We all did. - You love him. 01:15:57.136 --> 01:15:58.720 I thought he was gonna be different than the other jokers, 01:15:58.804 --> 01:16:01.598 but this guy, he can't even define the word "is." 01:16:02.516 --> 01:16:06.186 What happens if they give him one of the hard words, like "truth"? 01:16:06.979 --> 01:16:09.314 - I'd vote for him again. - In a heartbeat. 01:16:13.361 --> 01:16:14.527 Will's a lot of fun. 01:16:14.654 --> 01:16:16.529 Yeah, let's fill up the tub and drop in a toaster. 01:16:16.656 --> 01:16:18.448 That should be a good time. 01:16:21.994 --> 01:16:29.994 Happy birthday to you 01:16:31.796 --> 01:16:35.507 Happy birthday, dear Will 01:16:35.633 --> 01:16:39.844 - Where is he? Where's Will? - I don't know. I was just talking to him. 01:16:57.530 --> 01:16:58.989 You missed your birthday cake. 01:16:59.073 --> 01:17:00.198 Uh-oh. 01:17:00.533 --> 01:17:03.034 - And I baked it. - You baked it. 01:17:05.705 --> 01:17:07.539 Do you remember that song? 01:17:07.665 --> 01:17:09.374 In your apartment? 01:17:09.875 --> 01:17:13.545 Come as you are, as a friend 01:17:13.671 --> 01:17:15.922 As a known enemy 01:17:16.048 --> 01:17:19.884 - "Memory," not "enemy." - I know, I know, I know. 01:17:20.678 --> 01:17:24.222 - Somebody had too much to drink. - No, I didn't. 01:17:24.348 --> 01:17:26.057 I didn't, I didn't. I didn't. 01:17:26.183 --> 01:17:27.684 - Yes, you did. - I did. 01:17:34.400 --> 01:17:37.235 - God, you're beautiful. - Thank you. 01:17:41.198 --> 01:17:42.532 What? 01:17:44.410 --> 01:17:45.452 The thing is... 01:17:46.871 --> 01:17:48.705 The thing is... 01:17:49.915 --> 01:17:51.916 Is that I like you. 01:17:54.879 --> 01:17:56.713 I've always liked you. 01:17:59.717 --> 01:18:01.051 "Like." 01:18:01.927 --> 01:18:04.429 That's pathetic. It's so puny. 01:18:06.932 --> 01:18:08.516 "Love" on the other hand... 01:18:08.601 --> 01:18:11.269 You'd run away from a word like that. 01:18:14.106 --> 01:18:15.440 I love you. 01:18:19.153 --> 01:18:21.279 I'm in love with you, April. 01:18:29.246 --> 01:18:32.791 - Why didn't you ever tell me? - Come on. 01:18:32.917 --> 01:18:37.170 You know exactly why I never told you. You'd never be interested in me. 01:18:37.797 --> 01:18:39.339 You're an idiot. 01:18:48.808 --> 01:18:50.266 - Stop. - What? 01:18:50.351 --> 01:18:53.144 - Not like this. - Like what? 01:18:53.270 --> 01:18:55.563 Look at you, Will, you're a mess. 01:18:55.648 --> 01:18:58.691 Why couldn’t you have told me when you had your shit together? 01:18:58.818 --> 01:19:01.653 - My shit is together. - Your shit is a mess. 01:19:02.988 --> 01:19:04.614 You're a mess. 01:19:07.326 --> 01:19:09.160 My shit is a mess? 01:19:10.329 --> 01:19:13.164 That's interesting, coming from you, April. 01:19:15.209 --> 01:19:20.338 You could do anything on earth, and you work in a bookstore. 01:19:20.464 --> 01:19:22.382 What's that all about? 01:19:23.467 --> 01:19:26.177 At least I tried. I went out there and I tried. 01:19:27.555 --> 01:19:31.683 Look, I'm just saying this as a friend, and I swear, it's just as a friend, 01:19:32.184 --> 01:19:35.603 but maybe you should go out there and, you know, get some help. 01:19:35.688 --> 01:19:37.772 Go to rehab or life rehab or something like that. 01:19:37.857 --> 01:19:40.483 I don't even know if they have that sort of thing, but if they did... 01:19:40.568 --> 01:19:41.609 Okay. 01:19:41.694 --> 01:19:43.236 ...you know, you could be a prime candidate for that. 01:19:43.362 --> 01:19:45.697 - I should go to "life rehab"? - Yeah. 01:19:49.535 --> 01:19:51.411 Get off my front porch! 01:19:53.038 --> 01:19:54.205 April? 01:20:18.230 --> 01:20:19.564 You're right. 01:20:22.234 --> 01:20:24.986 It is complicated, isn't it? 01:20:25.070 --> 01:20:29.532 I mean, you're in love with April, who used to be in love with Lucas, 01:20:29.617 --> 01:20:32.202 and then she fell in love with you, but you were in love with Summer, 01:20:32.286 --> 01:20:34.954 who was always really in love with Hampton. 01:20:35.080 --> 01:20:38.708 And now that you're in love with April, she's in love with Kevin. 01:20:39.585 --> 01:20:41.753 And no one's in love with you. 01:20:42.755 --> 01:20:44.631 That's complicated. 01:20:46.050 --> 01:20:47.217 Yep. 01:20:48.260 --> 01:20:49.969 Then what happened? 01:21:09.907 --> 01:21:12.909 Jane Eyre, Random House, 1943. 01:21:12.993 --> 01:21:17.163 It's a beautiful edition, known for the cover illustration. 01:21:17.289 --> 01:21:21.417 But there's a really nice dedication inside, with a quote from the book. 01:21:21.502 --> 01:21:25.463 "To my darling daughter, April. 'The human heart has hidden treasures 01:21:25.589 --> 01:21:28.174 - "'In secret kept, in silence sealed..."' "'In silence sealed 01:21:28.300 --> 01:21:30.677 "'The thoughts, the hopes the dreams, the pleasures 01:21:30.803 --> 01:21:33.471 "'Whose charms were broken if revealed' 01:21:34.265 --> 01:21:36.266 "From your loving father." 01:21:46.610 --> 01:21:48.611 - Hi, Olivia. - Hi, Will. 01:21:49.321 --> 01:21:50.613 - How you been? - Good. 01:21:50.698 --> 01:21:53.157 I haven't heard any of your long sorry messages in a while. 01:21:53.284 --> 01:21:56.119 Those were delightful, weren't they? Sorry about that. 01:21:56.203 --> 01:21:58.121 - April here? - No, she's at school. 01:21:58.205 --> 01:22:00.123 - School? - Yeah. 01:22:00.207 --> 01:22:04.210 - She started grad school at NYU. - Great. Wow. 01:22:04.336 --> 01:22:07.380 - If you want to wait, she'll be home soon. - I'd love to. 01:22:07.506 --> 01:22:11.301 Make yourself comfortable. I have to finish this application I'm writing. 01:22:11.385 --> 01:22:13.177 - Good luck. - Thanks. 01:22:37.202 --> 01:22:38.202 Hey. 01:22:38.871 --> 01:22:40.204 How you doing? 01:22:41.874 --> 01:22:43.041 Kevin. 01:22:45.044 --> 01:22:46.377 Will Hayes. 01:22:47.504 --> 01:22:50.214 I'm just waiting for April. 01:22:52.217 --> 01:22:54.594 Are you the same Kevin that she mentioned a while back? 01:22:55.888 --> 01:22:58.681 I hope so. Unless she's collecting Kevins. 01:22:58.766 --> 01:23:00.892 Kevin, phone! 01:23:01.018 --> 01:23:05.021 Anyway, I'm pretty sure I am the only Kevin who's actually living with her. 01:23:44.144 --> 01:23:46.145 Do you know what you want yet? 01:23:46.980 --> 01:23:48.898 - No. - No? 01:23:54.613 --> 01:23:56.239 Will? 01:23:56.657 --> 01:23:58.408 William Hayes? 01:23:58.492 --> 01:24:00.410 God. 01:24:00.494 --> 01:24:02.286 - It is! - Summer. 01:24:03.080 --> 01:24:04.789 You look beautiful. 01:24:05.624 --> 01:24:08.793 Believe it or not, I've been meaning to call you. 01:24:10.462 --> 01:24:13.005 - I'm pregnant. - You're what? 01:24:13.132 --> 01:24:14.632 - Really? - Can you believe it? 01:24:14.758 --> 01:24:17.093 - Please, sit. Congratulations. - Thanks. Thanks. 01:24:17.177 --> 01:24:18.302 Who's the lucky guy? 01:24:18.429 --> 01:24:20.096 - Sam Knowles. - Okay. 01:24:20.180 --> 01:24:22.265 But he's basically out of the picture. 01:24:22.349 --> 01:24:24.350 - He didn't make the cut, huh? - Yeah. 01:24:24.476 --> 01:24:29.647 Well, I don't need a guy. I never really did. 01:24:29.773 --> 01:24:32.024 You were about the closest I ever got. 01:24:32.151 --> 01:24:36.195 No, really, when I was with you, I thought, "This is it." 01:24:36.321 --> 01:24:37.572 But I screwed it up. 01:24:37.656 --> 01:24:40.491 - No, you didn't. - I did. I so did. 01:24:41.118 --> 01:24:42.577 Listen, 01:24:42.661 --> 01:24:46.622 I'm having a little party Sunday. 01:24:47.374 --> 01:24:49.500 - I want you to come. - Oh, boy. 01:24:50.169 --> 01:24:51.878 4:00. No excuses. 01:24:54.006 --> 01:24:56.799 Will you come? Please? 01:24:56.884 --> 01:24:58.885 You know, I'll see if I can make it. 01:24:59.011 --> 01:25:01.679 - I really want you to. - I'll make it. 01:25:01.805 --> 01:25:04.182 I want to make amends with anyone I ever hurt. 01:25:04.308 --> 01:25:07.769 And I figure it'll take about nine months, 01:25:07.853 --> 01:25:09.687 which is perfect timing. 01:25:11.356 --> 01:25:13.357 - And she's off. Bye. - Bye-bye. 01:25:15.819 --> 01:25:17.111 William Hayes. 01:25:17.196 --> 01:25:20.239 - Dad, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. - What? 01:25:20.365 --> 01:25:24.076 Telling me this story, this mystery love story. 01:25:25.370 --> 01:25:28.748 - What if I don't like who my mom is? - Of course you'll like who your mom is. 01:25:28.874 --> 01:25:31.459 And you don't have to wait long to find out, because that very night... 01:25:31.543 --> 01:25:34.420 It's Summer, isn't it? And you're not my father. 01:25:34.546 --> 01:25:36.255 No wonder you didn't want to be with her. 01:25:36.381 --> 01:25:39.675 Take it easy, Maya. It's just a story. 01:25:41.094 --> 01:25:43.805 And this one has a happy ending. 01:25:43.889 --> 01:25:46.265 How does it have a happy ending? 01:25:46.391 --> 01:25:50.728 You and my mom, whoever she is, you're getting divorced. 01:25:51.730 --> 01:25:54.065 What's the happy in that? 01:25:58.529 --> 01:26:00.446 Okay, you know what? I think we should stop now. 01:26:00.572 --> 01:26:01.864 No! 01:26:04.743 --> 01:26:06.869 Then how about a nice cup of tea? 01:26:07.412 --> 01:26:10.748 If you want, I'll still continue with the story. Does that sound good? 01:26:10.874 --> 01:26:12.792 - Maya? - Okay. 01:26:19.216 --> 01:26:20.716 Dad? 01:26:22.553 --> 01:26:27.640 I can't believe you smoked and drank and were such a slut. 01:26:30.644 --> 01:26:32.478 But I still love you. 01:27:35.709 --> 01:27:37.043 Thanks. 01:27:37.169 --> 01:27:39.337 All right. All right. 01:27:39.463 --> 01:27:42.506 No, no. Don't eat it yet! Not till we get to our bench. 01:27:43.342 --> 01:27:44.842 You're in a good mood. 01:27:44.968 --> 01:27:48.930 Well, I think I discovered who my mom is in the story. 01:27:49.014 --> 01:27:51.015 - Really? - Really. 01:27:51.975 --> 01:27:54.226 - Well, who is it? - Not telling. 01:27:56.021 --> 01:27:58.272 So the last time we saw William Hayes, 01:27:58.357 --> 01:28:01.943 he had just discovered that the woman he truly loved, April Hoffman, 01:28:02.027 --> 01:28:03.110 was in love with another man. 01:28:04.363 --> 01:28:06.489 I know. Shocking. 01:28:07.407 --> 01:28:09.450 Meanwhile, he accepted an invitation 01:28:09.534 --> 01:28:12.495 to the home of his ex-girlfriend, Summer Hartley, 01:28:12.579 --> 01:28:16.540 who, if she does turn out to be my mother, I'm running away to Canada. 01:28:16.667 --> 01:28:18.334 I'm not kidding. 01:28:26.009 --> 01:28:28.427 - He died last year. - Yeah. 01:28:28.553 --> 01:28:31.138 - You heard? - I read about it in The Times. 01:28:31.223 --> 01:28:32.723 - Yeah. - Yeah. 01:28:33.016 --> 01:28:35.393 - God. Died in his office. Heart attack? - Yeah. 01:28:35.519 --> 01:28:39.522 I always imagined that he'd make a more theatrical exit. 01:28:39.606 --> 01:28:43.109 What they didn't say was he was on the couch with the dean's daughter. 01:28:43.235 --> 01:28:45.027 - Jesus. - I'm kidding. 01:28:45.946 --> 01:28:51.409 Actually, he was completely alone and it was hours before the janitor found him. 01:28:52.369 --> 01:28:54.954 - You want a drink? - I'm sorry. 01:28:55.080 --> 01:28:57.748 - You must miss him. - I do, yeah. 01:28:58.709 --> 01:28:59.792 These are for you. 01:28:59.918 --> 01:29:02.294 - Oh, Will. - Yeah. 01:29:04.423 --> 01:29:06.257 They're beautiful. 01:29:08.385 --> 01:29:09.760 So are you. 01:29:11.972 --> 01:29:13.931 - Summer. - Will. 01:29:14.057 --> 01:29:15.766 Don't mess with me. 01:29:15.892 --> 01:29:17.237 I can see where you're going with this. 01:29:17.269 --> 01:29:20.229 In a second, you're gonna say something impossibly charming. 01:29:20.313 --> 01:29:22.231 - Really? - Yeah. It's gonna be great. 01:29:22.315 --> 01:29:25.484 And then you're gonna sweep me off my feet and we all know where that's going. 01:29:25.610 --> 01:29:27.820 - Can't a girl miss a guy? - And you know that's gonna end badly. 01:29:27.946 --> 01:29:29.155 Yeah, she can, 01:29:29.823 --> 01:29:32.450 but I just don't really have time for the pain. 01:29:32.576 --> 01:29:36.495 - So let's just skip all that, why don't we? - Okay. 01:29:37.414 --> 01:29:38.748 Fair enough. 01:29:39.624 --> 01:29:40.958 Can we be friends? 01:29:41.084 --> 01:29:43.002 - Yeah! Yeah. - Yeah. 01:29:43.128 --> 01:29:45.755 - Shake on it? Okay. - Let's do that. All right. 01:29:48.675 --> 01:29:50.468 You know what? 01:29:52.763 --> 01:29:55.139 There's someone here I want you to meet. 01:29:56.266 --> 01:29:58.726 Yeah. Come with me. 01:29:58.810 --> 01:30:00.102 They're an old flame of mine, 01:30:00.187 --> 01:30:04.440 and I think you guys are really gonna, you know, hit it off. 01:30:08.278 --> 01:30:09.445 Emily. 01:30:12.115 --> 01:30:14.200 I'm gonna put these in some water. 01:30:17.537 --> 01:30:18.871 - You look... - You look... 01:30:20.874 --> 01:30:22.208 You look great. 01:30:23.543 --> 01:30:26.712 - Why are you in New York? - I live here. 01:30:26.838 --> 01:30:30.257 I took a job with the city education department. 01:30:30.342 --> 01:30:32.802 - I called you. - I know. 01:30:32.886 --> 01:30:35.387 - I've been meaning to call you back. - Liar. 01:30:36.223 --> 01:30:37.890 - I had lost your number. - Of course. 01:30:38.016 --> 01:30:40.392 - No, it's true. You know what? - Will... 01:30:40.519 --> 01:30:42.353 Okay, give me your number, right now. 01:30:42.479 --> 01:30:46.398 I'm gonna put it in my cell phone, and that way I'm never gonna lose it, okay? 01:30:47.984 --> 01:30:53.239 My number is 212-664-7665. 01:30:53.365 --> 01:30:56.367 Six, six, five. See? Now I got it. And I'm never gonna lose it again. 01:30:59.371 --> 01:31:01.539 - Oh, no, go ahead, go ahead. - Sorry. 01:31:01.665 --> 01:31:03.249 - Hello. - Hey, it's Will. 01:31:04.417 --> 01:31:07.211 I'm really sorry I lost your number. 01:31:08.421 --> 01:31:12.133 I just had the weirdest flash of a whole life, 01:31:12.217 --> 01:31:14.552 one that never, ever happened. 01:31:17.514 --> 01:31:19.515 What did happen to us? 01:31:19.599 --> 01:31:21.600 - You slept with my roommate. - Oh! 01:31:22.853 --> 01:31:24.145 I'm sorry. 01:31:24.229 --> 01:31:26.981 If I remember correctly, I believe it was my "plan," wasn't it? 01:31:27.065 --> 01:31:28.816 - The plan. Remember that? - Yes, the plan. 01:31:28.900 --> 01:31:29.984 Who talks like that? 01:31:30.068 --> 01:31:35.364 No, it wasn't the plan. I was scared of you and your dreams, 01:31:36.867 --> 01:31:39.869 and then after we broke up, I just felt lost. 01:31:41.037 --> 01:31:45.916 I still feel pretty lost, especially when it comes to relationships. 01:31:47.085 --> 01:31:48.252 Yeah. 01:31:49.254 --> 01:31:51.755 Yeah, I've been... Me, too. 01:31:58.221 --> 01:32:00.931 Did you ever think 01:32:01.558 --> 01:32:04.977 that maybe we just needed a different plan? 01:32:05.937 --> 01:32:08.856 Wait! Stop! Stop right there. Now, go back. 01:32:10.108 --> 01:32:12.818 Okay, stop. Now go forward, slowly. 01:32:13.653 --> 01:32:15.196 Now here it comes. 01:32:15.280 --> 01:32:16.906 There! Right there! 01:32:17.407 --> 01:32:19.617 That's it! That's how I figured it out! 01:32:19.743 --> 01:32:21.452 That's what Mom does when I'm upset. 01:32:21.536 --> 01:32:24.121 She fluffs up my hair and tells me to be brilliant 01:32:24.206 --> 01:32:27.124 or shine like the sun, and it always makes me feel better. 01:32:27.209 --> 01:32:29.460 - Sounds like a great mom. - She is a great mom. 01:32:29.544 --> 01:32:36.050 So you're absolutely positive, 100%, that Emily is the very same woman 01:32:36.384 --> 01:32:38.636 walking toward us right now? 01:32:40.013 --> 01:32:41.472 Absolutely. 01:32:41.848 --> 01:32:43.057 Is it? 01:32:45.143 --> 01:32:47.394 - Mom! Mom! - Hey! 01:32:51.066 --> 01:32:52.566 I'm so glad it's you. 01:32:52.651 --> 01:32:55.194 - Well, who else would it be? - Nobody. 01:32:56.154 --> 01:32:58.489 - Good morning, Will. - Hey, Sarah. 01:32:59.491 --> 01:33:01.909 Mom, can Dad come with us to the zoo? 01:33:01.993 --> 01:33:04.161 Yeah, if Dad wants to come, sure. 01:33:05.830 --> 01:33:08.666 You know, I love the zoo. Let's go to the zoo. 01:33:10.377 --> 01:33:11.752 - Guess what, Mom? - What? 01:33:11.836 --> 01:33:14.505 We learned all about sexual intercourse at school yesterday. 01:33:14.589 --> 01:33:16.423 - Really? - Really. 01:33:16.591 --> 01:33:17.675 Really. 01:33:29.854 --> 01:33:31.355 I love penguins. 01:33:32.357 --> 01:33:33.607 Me, too. 01:33:33.692 --> 01:33:34.858 Me, three. 01:33:45.203 --> 01:33:47.997 Did you know that penguins mate for life? 01:33:48.081 --> 01:33:50.165 Although, Mr. Monell told us 01:33:50.250 --> 01:33:52.626 that sometimes the husband and wife penguins get separated 01:33:52.711 --> 01:33:54.378 'cause of their migraine patterns. 01:33:54.462 --> 01:33:55.754 - Migratory. - Migratory. 01:33:56.548 --> 01:34:01.051 Well, sometimes they're apart for years, but they almost always find each other. 01:34:05.557 --> 01:34:07.213 Do you know what the husband and wife penguins do 01:34:07.225 --> 01:34:09.935 after they find each other after all that time? 01:34:11.146 --> 01:34:12.896 Throw back their heads, 01:34:12.981 --> 01:34:16.191 flap their flippers and sing as loud as they can! 01:35:01.780 --> 01:35:04.615 Okay. All right, munchkin. Let's go! 01:35:08.661 --> 01:35:12.289 Hey, monster, that was fun today. I'll see you on Wednesday, okay? 01:35:16.294 --> 01:35:17.836 See you later. 01:35:20.840 --> 01:35:22.174 Dad! 01:35:29.140 --> 01:35:32.226 - Thanks for telling me the story. - You're welcome. 01:35:33.812 --> 01:35:37.815 - I forgot to tell you the happy ending. - What is it? 01:35:38.983 --> 01:35:40.317 You. 01:35:50.703 --> 01:35:53.288 - Hey, I love you. - I love you, too. 01:35:53.373 --> 01:35:56.375 Go catch up to your mom, okay? All right, bye. 01:35:58.670 --> 01:35:59.837 Are you all right? 01:35:59.921 --> 01:36:01.088 Yeah? 01:36:19.566 --> 01:36:22.025 Mr. President! Hey, Mr. President! 01:36:22.110 --> 01:36:25.112 Will Hayes, I worked on the '92 campaign. 01:37:53.409 --> 01:37:55.744 Hi. I'm looking for April. 01:38:05.797 --> 01:38:08.257 Check that they have legal representation, okay? 01:38:08.341 --> 01:38:09.883 - Right. - Thanks, John. 01:38:18.518 --> 01:38:19.560 I can't believe you're doing this. 01:38:19.644 --> 01:38:20.769 - This is great. - Thanks. 01:38:20.853 --> 01:38:22.187 - Still smoking? - I quit. 01:38:22.272 --> 01:38:25.857 - Me, too. Still live in the same loft? - Living in Brooklyn. 01:38:25.942 --> 01:38:27.859 Always on the cutting edge. 01:38:27.944 --> 01:38:30.821 - Dating? - Not at present. You? 01:38:31.667 --> 01:38:33.834 - I got divorced. - I know. 01:38:33.908 --> 01:38:35.742 I heard. I'm so sorry. 01:38:35.827 --> 01:38:37.452 Why? 01:38:37.537 --> 01:38:39.204 You always said marriage was overrated. 01:38:39.289 --> 01:38:42.541 Yeah, and you never listened to me. You were always with the rings. 01:38:42.625 --> 01:38:45.919 - Is that why you and Kevin never... - Oh, God, Kevin. No. Kevin... 01:38:46.963 --> 01:38:48.839 Something always seemed to be missing with Kevin. 01:38:48.923 --> 01:38:50.882 I don't know. 01:38:50.967 --> 01:38:55.387 It's weird. It was never quite right. You know? 01:38:55.471 --> 01:38:56.638 Yeah. 01:38:57.890 --> 01:39:00.601 - It's good to see you. - You, too. 01:39:03.771 --> 01:39:05.856 I have something for you. 01:39:47.940 --> 01:39:49.775 Thank you so much. 01:39:51.110 --> 01:39:53.945 How did you find it? I mean, where did you find it? 01:39:55.657 --> 01:39:58.283 That's the difficult part to explain. 01:40:00.620 --> 01:40:02.329 This is gonna sound bad. 01:40:03.498 --> 01:40:05.540 I've had it for a while. 01:40:06.501 --> 01:40:07.834 How long? 01:40:08.795 --> 01:40:10.128 Years. 01:40:11.130 --> 01:40:12.631 Many years. 01:40:13.466 --> 01:40:15.425 I meant to... 01:40:15.510 --> 01:40:17.552 I meant to give it to you. I wanted to give it to you. 01:40:17.637 --> 01:40:19.179 I just... 01:40:19.639 --> 01:40:22.599 I couldn’t. And I don't know why. 01:40:23.935 --> 01:40:27.979 I dropped it off once. I mean, I tried. Kevin was there and... 01:40:28.064 --> 01:40:31.650 Hey, there is no excuse, and I'm sorry. 01:40:32.985 --> 01:40:34.695 It's inexcusable. 01:40:38.991 --> 01:40:41.702 - I think you should go, Will. - April? 01:40:42.870 --> 01:40:44.788 I think you should go. 01:40:59.011 --> 01:41:02.305 You never gave it to her? After all that time? 01:41:02.390 --> 01:41:04.307 - I know. I know. - But it was from her dad. 01:41:04.392 --> 01:41:06.601 I know. I know. 01:41:06.686 --> 01:41:08.603 And then you just left? 01:41:09.731 --> 01:41:11.064 Yep. 01:41:12.567 --> 01:41:15.777 How come you changed all the names except hers? 01:41:15.862 --> 01:41:16.945 What do you mean? 01:41:17.029 --> 01:41:19.906 In the story, you know, like Mom became Emily, 01:41:19.991 --> 01:41:23.702 and Summer's that Natasha lady who writes for that magazine. 01:41:23.786 --> 01:41:26.538 But you didn't change April’s name. Why? 01:41:29.542 --> 01:41:33.670 Why are you so concerned with all of this anyway? 01:41:33.880 --> 01:41:36.214 Because I want you to be happy. 01:41:36.507 --> 01:41:37.841 You know, 01:41:38.885 --> 01:41:40.552 I'm happy. 01:41:41.554 --> 01:41:44.055 Trust me, Dad. You're not happy. 01:41:57.904 --> 01:41:59.571 Put your coat on. 01:42:04.911 --> 01:42:06.411 - Taxi! - Taxi! 01:42:13.211 --> 01:42:15.003 She said something was missing with Kevin, 01:42:15.087 --> 01:42:17.714 which means it might not be missing with you, 01:42:17.799 --> 01:42:20.550 - which is good news, right? - Could be. 01:42:21.511 --> 01:42:22.803 Could be. 01:42:24.305 --> 01:42:28.141 Did you know that 35 people try to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge each year? 01:42:28.226 --> 01:42:30.435 Most because of broken hearts. 01:42:31.354 --> 01:42:32.979 I'll keep that in mind. 01:42:50.957 --> 01:42:53.959 - Hello. - Hey. Hi. 01:42:54.043 --> 01:42:55.168 It's me, Will. 01:42:57.630 --> 01:42:58.797 April? 01:43:05.096 --> 01:43:06.930 What are you doing here? 01:43:08.224 --> 01:43:09.307 Uh... 01:43:09.392 --> 01:43:11.184 Go on, tell her. 01:43:12.186 --> 01:43:13.687 Who's that? 01:43:13.771 --> 01:43:16.857 That would be my daughter, Maya. 01:43:16.941 --> 01:43:19.234 That's kind of cheating, isn't it? Bringing your daughter? 01:43:19.318 --> 01:43:21.194 What am I supposed to do now? 01:43:22.572 --> 01:43:24.573 Well, you could let us in. 01:43:27.493 --> 01:43:30.161 I don't think she's gonna let us in. 01:43:32.081 --> 01:43:33.623 I think you're wrong. 01:43:34.876 --> 01:43:36.376 Come on, let's go. Let's go. 01:43:36.460 --> 01:43:39.796 A little while longer. She's going to let us in. 01:43:39.881 --> 01:43:42.090 Okay, kiddo, here's the deal. 01:43:42.174 --> 01:43:44.259 I'm gonna count to 30, okay? 01:43:44.343 --> 01:43:46.344 And if she doesn't let us in, we're gonna go home, 01:43:46.429 --> 01:43:48.346 and we're never gonna talk about this again. 01:43:48.431 --> 01:43:50.557 - Deal? - Yeah. 01:43:51.183 --> 01:43:52.309 Ready? 01:43:52.935 --> 01:43:57.397 - One, two, three... - One, two, three... 01:43:57.481 --> 01:44:01.568 - ...four, five, six... - ...four, five, six... 01:44:02.528 --> 01:44:07.657 - ...14, 15, 16, 17... - ...14, 15, 16, 17... 01:44:07.742 --> 01:44:10.702 If she lets us in, tell her the story like you told me. 01:44:10.786 --> 01:44:13.038 - And then she'll know. - Know what? 01:44:13.164 --> 01:44:15.165 I can't explain. She'll just know. 01:44:16.042 --> 01:44:21.046 - ...25, 26, 27... - ...25, 26, 27... 01:44:23.382 --> 01:44:25.133 - Twenty-nine. - Twenty-nine. 01:44:27.219 --> 01:44:29.888 Twenty-nine and a quarter. 01:44:29.972 --> 01:44:32.432 Twenty-nine and a half. 01:44:34.226 --> 01:44:36.561 Twenty-nine and three-quarters. 01:44:37.980 --> 01:44:39.856 What comes after that? 01:44:42.234 --> 01:44:43.610 Time to go. 01:44:46.489 --> 01:44:48.907 But this wasn't what was supposed to have happened. 01:44:48.991 --> 01:44:50.241 - I know. - I really thought 01:44:50.326 --> 01:44:54.287 she would have heard through the intercom and let us in, 01:44:54.372 --> 01:44:55.914 or run down the stairs and say... 01:44:55.998 --> 01:44:56.746 What story? 01:45:14.392 --> 01:45:16.893 - I kept the book... - Yeah? 01:45:18.354 --> 01:45:21.898 ...because it was the only thing that I had left of you. 01:45:42.670 --> 01:45:46.589 - You must be Maya. - You must be April. 01:45:51.220 --> 01:45:53.263 So what happens now? 01:45:53.389 --> 01:45:56.599 You invite us inside, and we tell you the story. 01:45:57.768 --> 01:45:58.935 Okay.