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WEBVTT - https://subtitletools.com 00:01:52.094 --> 00:02:07.094 Fixed & Synced by bozxphd.Enjoy The Flick 00:02:08.095 --> 00:02:13.532 ♪ Yes, I'm gonna be a pop star ♪ 00:02:14.635 --> 00:02:19.538 ♪ Yes, I'm gonna be a pop star, now ♪ 00:02:21.275 --> 00:02:24.643 ♪ Yes, I'm going to be a pop star ♪ 00:02:27.915 --> 00:02:31.283 ♪ Oh, Mama, Mama, see me ♪ 00:02:31.285 --> 00:02:35.154 ♪ Mama, Mama, see me I'm a pop star ♪ 00:02:38.459 --> 00:02:39.691 ♪ Oh ♪ 00:02:39.693 --> 00:02:45.764 ♪ Yes, I'm goin' on the TV now, now ♪ 00:02:45.766 --> 00:02:51.170 ♪ Yes, I'm goin' on the TV, now ♪ 00:02:52.439 --> 00:02:56.341 ♪ Yes, I'm goin' on the TV, now ♪ 00:02:59.647 --> 00:03:03.048 ♪ Oh, Mama, Mama, see me ♪ 00:03:03.050 --> 00:03:07.653 ♪ Mama, Mama, see me on the TV ♪ 00:03:07.655 --> 00:03:08.887 ♪ Oh ♪ 00:03:11.525 --> 00:03:17.262 ♪ Yes, I'm goin' on my first gig ♪ 00:03:18.299 --> 00:03:23.235 ♪ Yes, I'm goin' on my first gig ♪ 00:03:24.238 --> 00:03:28.807 ♪ Yes, I'm goin' on my first gig ♪ 00:03:31.412 --> 00:03:34.746 ♪ Oh, Mama, Mama, see me ♪ 00:03:34.748 --> 00:03:39.952 ♪ Mama, Mama, see me on my first gig ♪ 00:03:41.989 --> 00:03:43.855 ♪ Oh, listen to me ♪♪ 00:03:47.661 --> 00:03:50.996 ♪ I drove for miles and miles ♪ 00:03:50.998 --> 00:03:56.702 ♪ And wound up at your door ♪ 00:03:56.704 --> 00:04:00.372 ♪ I've had you so many times ♪ 00:04:00.374 --> 00:04:06.845 ♪ But somehow I want more ♪ 00:04:06.847 --> 00:04:11.750 ♪ I don't mind spending every day ♪ 00:04:11.752 --> 00:04:17.022 ♪ Out on your corner in the pouring rain ♪ 00:04:17.024 --> 00:04:22.427 ♪ Look for the girl with the broken smile ♪ 00:04:22.429 --> 00:04:26.531 ♪ Ask her if she'd like to stay for a while ♪ 00:04:26.533 --> 00:04:31.536 ♪ And she will be loved ♪ 00:04:31.538 --> 00:04:34.906 ♪ And she will be ♪ 00:04:34.908 --> 00:04:41.713 ♪ Loved ♪♪ 00:04:47.288 --> 00:04:49.888 Mr. Lanz? I'm done. 00:04:53.127 --> 00:04:55.394 No. 00:04:55.396 --> 00:04:58.297 Forgive me. No. 00:04:59.500 --> 00:05:01.300 You're just beginning. 00:05:02.136 --> 00:05:04.336 You liked it? Liked it? 00:05:04.338 --> 00:05:07.572 You made me want to swallow poison. 00:05:07.574 --> 00:05:11.109 And forget pitch, rhythm and tone... 00:05:11.111 --> 00:05:16.248 and emotional attachment to the lyric or the melody. 00:05:16.250 --> 00:05:18.417 I'm sorry. I don't think I... 00:05:18.419 --> 00:05:22.621 A grain of sand slips into an oyster... 00:05:22.623 --> 00:05:26.091 and irritates the bivalve. 00:05:26.093 --> 00:05:28.694 What happens? A pearl. 00:05:28.696 --> 00:05:30.195 Celine Dion. 00:05:30.197 --> 00:05:33.031 Miss Nicki Minaj. 00:05:33.033 --> 00:05:34.800 Christina Aguilera occasionally. 00:05:34.802 --> 00:05:40.272 All of them deeply, profoundly irritating. 00:05:40.274 --> 00:05:43.008 Each one of 'em a huge star. 00:05:44.011 --> 00:05:46.345 You, mighty Mo... 00:05:47.281 --> 00:05:48.847 are that irritant. 00:05:48.849 --> 00:05:52.017 So you'll represent me? 00:05:54.388 --> 00:05:57.189 If you'll have me... 00:05:57.191 --> 00:05:59.057 Richie Lanz Management... 00:06:00.527 --> 00:06:02.794 globally, in all markets. 00:06:11.739 --> 00:06:14.673 Welcome to the team. Thank you! Thank you. 00:06:14.675 --> 00:06:16.141 So $1,200? 00:06:16.143 --> 00:06:19.845 It's just to cover wardrobe, studio time, gym classes. 00:06:19.847 --> 00:06:21.646 Oh, I go to a gym. 00:06:21.648 --> 00:06:23.482 Want to get you a good blender too. 00:06:24.651 --> 00:06:27.352 Wow. I got goose bumps. Me too. 00:06:27.354 --> 00:06:29.154 Oh, personal check. 00:06:29.156 --> 00:06:32.090 - I'm going to say it's okay, Ronnie. - Yeah. 00:06:32.092 --> 00:06:35.894 Here's our contract. The only one we'll ever have. Ever. 00:06:35.896 --> 00:06:37.863 My handshake is my word. 00:06:37.865 --> 00:06:41.400 Conning checks from losers. 00:06:42.269 --> 00:06:44.936 Booking cover bands for bar mitzvahs. 00:06:44.938 --> 00:06:48.440 What happened to that smile you had, huh? 00:06:48.442 --> 00:06:50.776 That Richie Lanz smile. What'd you call it? 00:06:52.179 --> 00:06:54.780 Hey, remember, we got that thing at Pogo's tonight. 00:06:58.952 --> 00:07:02.120 Your "winner's smile." That's what you called it. 00:07:02.122 --> 00:07:06.758 All those pictures in your office, you had that grin. 00:07:06.760 --> 00:07:10.095 That grin, man. You were really something. 00:07:11.198 --> 00:07:13.632 Am. 00:07:13.634 --> 00:07:15.867 Not were, sweetheart. Am. 00:07:15.869 --> 00:07:19.538 Yeah, sure, I'm taking some hits, 00:07:19.540 --> 00:07:21.973 you know, but this is all rope-a-dope, baby. 00:07:21.975 --> 00:07:26.244 It looks pretty bad for Richie Lanz from the cheap seats, 00:07:26.246 --> 00:07:28.413 but I am still in the goddamn game. 00:07:28.415 --> 00:07:30.882 You know, this is not forever. 00:07:30.884 --> 00:07:35.387 This is right now. This is Van Nuys. 00:07:35.389 --> 00:07:40.392 Life's about seeing an open door and walking right through it. 00:07:40.394 --> 00:07:45.564 Obviously, some asshole has changed the goddamn locks on me, 00:07:45.566 --> 00:07:48.967 but... there's still a door there. 00:07:48.969 --> 00:07:50.602 I can see it. 00:07:50.604 --> 00:07:53.638 I have always found a way. I always will. 00:07:55.075 --> 00:07:58.009 - I mean, how do you think I found Madonna? - Richie. 00:07:58.011 --> 00:07:59.945 Singing for spare change in front of Hamburger Hamlet. 00:07:59.947 --> 00:08:02.581 Okay, is this our talk? Because you promised me... 00:08:02.583 --> 00:08:04.416 after one year I'd be singing my own songs. 00:08:04.418 --> 00:08:06.852 I don't really... see that now. 00:08:08.088 --> 00:08:10.589 Wear your Meredith Brooks outfit tonight, please. 00:08:10.591 --> 00:08:13.425 Door number one. That's you. 00:08:13.427 --> 00:08:15.660 We have to talk, Richie. 00:08:15.662 --> 00:08:17.696 No! I don't like this! 00:08:17.698 --> 00:08:19.431 We have to rock! 00:08:31.645 --> 00:08:34.813 ♪ I hate the world today ♪ 00:08:34.815 --> 00:08:39.518 ♪ You're so good to me I know, but I can't change ♪ 00:08:39.520 --> 00:08:42.487 ♪ Tried to tell you but you look at me ♪ 00:08:42.489 --> 00:08:46.224 ♪ Like maybe I'm an angel underneath ♪ 00:08:46.226 --> 00:08:48.960 ♪ Innocent and sweet ♪ 00:08:50.163 --> 00:08:52.397 ♪ Yesterday I cried ♪ 00:08:52.399 --> 00:08:54.399 ♪ You must have been relieved ♪ 00:08:54.401 --> 00:08:57.802 ♪ To see the softer side ♪ 00:08:57.804 --> 00:09:00.906 ♪ I can understand how you'd be so confused ♪ 00:09:00.908 --> 00:09:03.241 What's up, buddy? She's great, isn't she? 00:09:03.243 --> 00:09:04.843 ♪ I don't envy you ♪ 00:09:04.845 --> 00:09:07.178 The girl's not that great. You're too drunk to know. 00:09:07.180 --> 00:09:08.880 ♪ All rolled into one ♪ 00:09:08.882 --> 00:09:11.383 ♪ I'm a bitch I'm a lover ♪ 00:09:11.385 --> 00:09:13.552 ♪ I'm a child I'm a mother ♪ 00:09:13.554 --> 00:09:15.020 ♪ I'm a sinner I'm a saint ♪ 00:09:15.022 --> 00:09:17.055 - This shit rocks! - Totally. 00:09:17.057 --> 00:09:18.924 I love this song. ♪ I do not feel ashamed ♪ 00:09:18.926 --> 00:09:21.826 It rocks! It totally rocks. 00:09:21.828 --> 00:09:23.828 Whoo! 00:09:23.830 --> 00:09:26.064 ♪ You know you wouldn't want me any other way ♪ 00:09:26.066 --> 00:09:29.401 I got to go check something. Fuses or watts or something. 00:09:29.403 --> 00:09:32.203 No, no, no. My man, my man, my man. 00:09:32.205 --> 00:09:36.741 What you gotta do is bring this shit to Afghanistan. 00:09:37.711 --> 00:09:41.079 Afghanistan. Totally. Got to. 00:09:43.350 --> 00:09:45.450 USO tour. 00:09:45.452 --> 00:09:48.253 That's me, man. I book those things. 00:09:49.089 --> 00:09:50.388 This chick, 00:09:50.390 --> 00:09:54.259 opening for Demi goddamn Lovato and that Solange? 00:09:56.763 --> 00:10:01.433 - The real Solange? - Hells, yeah. In country, dude. 00:10:01.435 --> 00:10:04.569 Goddamn beautiful this time of year. 00:10:04.571 --> 00:10:06.705 What time of year is it? 00:10:07.708 --> 00:10:09.808 May. What? 00:10:09.810 --> 00:10:12.711 I think that it's May. Kandahar rocks in May. 00:10:12.713 --> 00:10:15.146 Right, right. Do the whole circuit... 00:10:15.148 --> 00:10:19.551 Herat, Mazar-e Sharif, two nights in Kunduz, Kabul. 00:10:19.553 --> 00:10:21.119 Do the whole thing. 00:10:23.624 --> 00:10:27.392 You're talking a tour? A hellacious tour, dude! 00:10:27.394 --> 00:10:29.461 For money? 00:10:29.463 --> 00:10:31.997 How about for your country? 00:10:31.999 --> 00:10:35.333 Hells, yeah. For a ton of money. 00:10:35.335 --> 00:10:37.402 We're at war, dude. 00:10:37.404 --> 00:10:40.238 The faucet is open. 00:10:40.240 --> 00:10:42.440 ♪ You do what you do ♪ 00:10:42.442 --> 00:10:47.078 - ♪ And don't try to save me ♪ - One, two, three. 00:10:47.080 --> 00:10:49.614 ♪ I'm a bitch, I'm a lover ♪ 00:10:49.616 --> 00:10:51.950 ♪ I'm a child I'm a mother ♪ 00:10:51.952 --> 00:10:54.619 ♪ I'm a sinner I'm a saint ♪ 00:10:54.621 --> 00:10:56.921 ♪ I do not feel ashamed ♪♪ 00:10:58.959 --> 00:11:02.060 Daddy, nobody tours Afghanistan. 00:11:02.996 --> 00:11:05.964 That's not true. Nobody good. 00:11:05.966 --> 00:11:08.199 Now you're just being cruel. Aren't you? 00:11:08.201 --> 00:11:12.637 Sweetie, your dad was a rock tour manager... 00:11:12.639 --> 00:11:14.706 Your dad is a rock tour manager. 00:11:14.708 --> 00:11:16.474 And this is what I'm supposed to do. 00:11:16.476 --> 00:11:19.044 I'm supposed to tour with my act. 00:11:19.046 --> 00:11:23.281 Now yes, it's a little bit out of town, 00:11:23.283 --> 00:11:25.350 but it's a start. 00:11:26.486 --> 00:11:30.121 The first thing I do when I arrive, 00:11:30.123 --> 00:11:32.724 I'm going to head directly to the Kasbah... 00:11:32.726 --> 00:11:34.225 where I will purchase for you... 00:11:34.227 --> 00:11:36.387 They don't have Kasbahs in Afghanistan. 00:11:37.397 --> 00:11:41.966 What? No rock the Kasbah? 00:11:41.968 --> 00:11:43.635 Somebody is not going to like that. 00:11:43.637 --> 00:11:45.403 They're in North Africa, not Afghanistan. 00:11:45.405 --> 00:11:48.640 You are so your father's daughter. 00:11:48.642 --> 00:11:50.308 Scary smart. 00:11:50.310 --> 00:11:51.976 And you got my looks too. 00:11:51.978 --> 00:11:55.246 You really have the total package of me. 00:11:55.248 --> 00:11:57.582 Okay, then I'll just go to the mall... 00:11:57.584 --> 00:12:00.185 and get you one of those stuffed elephants with the mirrors all over it. 00:12:00.187 --> 00:12:02.153 Just come home. 00:12:03.557 --> 00:12:07.058 Hurry up! Ann Coulter's gonna dance next! 00:12:08.228 --> 00:12:09.661 I gotta go. Mmm. 00:12:09.663 --> 00:12:11.996 Dree! 00:12:11.998 --> 00:12:13.898 Dree. 00:12:15.602 --> 00:12:17.535 I love you. 00:12:17.537 --> 00:12:19.170 I love you more. 00:13:09.556 --> 00:13:11.756 Come on. We're in the homestretch. 00:13:12.592 --> 00:13:14.159 Last leg. 00:13:14.161 --> 00:13:16.161 Come on. This is just a short two-hour... 00:13:16.163 --> 00:13:17.796 Hell flight! 00:13:17.798 --> 00:13:20.131 It's a hell flight. 00:13:20.901 --> 00:13:22.967 This is a goddamn death trip. 00:13:23.804 --> 00:13:25.069 Forgive me. 00:13:25.071 --> 00:13:29.274 The '85 Bangles tour was a death trip. 00:13:29.276 --> 00:13:32.977 Susanna Hoffs would not even talk to her own mother. 00:13:32.979 --> 00:13:35.580 I'm going to hurl. 00:13:38.652 --> 00:13:40.251 What if they hate me? 00:13:40.253 --> 00:13:42.787 They're soldiers. They'll kill me. 00:13:42.789 --> 00:13:44.656 You want my air? Here. Take mine. 00:13:44.658 --> 00:13:47.992 No. I want to go home. 00:13:47.994 --> 00:13:51.930 Hey, did I tell you my Stevie Nicks story? Oh, God. 00:13:51.932 --> 00:13:55.600 It's the Rumours tour. 00:13:55.602 --> 00:13:57.869 Stevie can't go on. 00:13:57.871 --> 00:13:59.938 Stevie won't go on. 00:13:59.940 --> 00:14:01.806 Finally, I can't stand it anymore. 00:14:01.808 --> 00:14:05.109 I run over to her, grab her by the shoulders. 00:14:05.111 --> 00:14:07.278 I look her in the eye. I say: 00:14:07.280 --> 00:14:11.783 "Miss Stevie. I'm nobody, but I'm a fan." 00:14:11.785 --> 00:14:15.386 And there's a lot of kids out there tonight just like me... 00:14:15.388 --> 00:14:19.891 fans, who saved all month to come and hear Stevie Nicks sing. 00:14:19.893 --> 00:14:22.427 "To see Stevie Nicks twirl." 00:14:23.530 --> 00:14:25.029 What happened? 00:14:25.031 --> 00:14:28.399 Yeah. Crazy. She head-butted me. 00:14:29.302 --> 00:14:31.703 Deviated septum... that I still have. 00:14:33.406 --> 00:14:36.641 Blood everywhere, all over both of us. 00:14:36.643 --> 00:14:41.880 But Miss Stevie Nicks went on and did the show of her life that night. 00:14:41.882 --> 00:14:45.683 And Ms. Ronnie Smiler, I think you are that same kind of professional. 00:14:45.685 --> 00:14:47.819 I believe in you. Mmm. 00:14:47.821 --> 00:14:51.055 He believes in you. Oh, my God. 00:14:52.225 --> 00:14:54.826 You should see the way he looks at you while you sleep. 00:14:54.828 --> 00:14:57.495 Stop it right now. 00:14:57.497 --> 00:14:59.230 "Not wearing underwear." 00:15:01.034 --> 00:15:03.001 You idiot. That's what he's thinking. 00:15:03.003 --> 00:15:07.105 - You idiot. - It's only rock and roll, babe. 00:15:10.176 --> 00:15:15.980 Yeah. Think Aspen. But, you know, during wartime. 00:15:21.855 --> 00:15:24.522 This is the last of it? It's not ours. 00:15:24.524 --> 00:15:26.858 Your luggage probably never made it on the flight. 00:15:26.860 --> 00:15:28.927 It has been known to happen. 00:15:30.030 --> 00:15:31.863 Is there a lost-and-found? 00:15:31.865 --> 00:15:34.165 Not in the traditional sense, sir. 00:15:35.602 --> 00:15:38.369 Richie, I want to get out of here. Mm-hmm. 00:15:38.371 --> 00:15:41.773 Get me the hell out of here now. Okay, Private? 00:15:41.775 --> 00:15:45.710 We'll proceed to the Majestic Hotel, get you people squared away. 00:15:45.712 --> 00:15:49.213 Don't want to head into town in the dark, even with a Humvee and body armor. 00:15:49.215 --> 00:15:51.115 I'll come back at 1900 hours, 00:15:51.117 --> 00:15:52.951 pick you up, take you to Camp Phoenix for tonight's show. 00:15:52.953 --> 00:15:55.720 I'm sorry. Body armor? 00:15:55.722 --> 00:15:58.056 That's a good plan. That's a great plan. 00:15:58.058 --> 00:16:00.325 Hey, guess what. We're shopping here. 00:16:00.327 --> 00:16:03.227 My treat. They have great shopping here. 00:16:03.229 --> 00:16:05.263 Hippie-chic stuff. This is the... 00:16:05.265 --> 00:16:07.332 These people invented the word "bazaar." 00:16:07.334 --> 00:16:09.467 Actually, sir, we're in a lockdown mode. 00:16:09.469 --> 00:16:12.070 There's been an assassination attempt on the Afghan president. 00:16:12.072 --> 00:16:15.573 Markets, restaurants, tourist spots, anything outside of your hotel... 00:16:15.575 --> 00:16:17.642 is suggested off-limits to all Westerners, 00:16:17.644 --> 00:16:19.243 NATO, UN personnel, 00:16:19.245 --> 00:16:21.746 all non-government organizations, until further notice. 00:16:21.748 --> 00:16:23.781 What? A lockdown? 00:16:23.783 --> 00:16:25.903 Yes. What? 00:16:26.419 --> 00:16:27.986 Private. 00:16:28.989 --> 00:16:31.289 From now on, let's... 00:16:31.291 --> 00:16:35.493 We'll keep all of that on a need-to-know basis, okay? 00:16:35.495 --> 00:16:37.135 Sir. Yeah. 00:16:39.866 --> 00:16:41.466 Hey, hon. Can't go out that way. 00:16:41.468 --> 00:16:43.434 We've gotta go out this door here. 00:16:44.270 --> 00:16:46.170 Ronnie Smiler, everybody. 00:16:46.172 --> 00:16:48.773 Tonight at Camp Phoenix at 8:00! 00:17:04.791 --> 00:17:08.126 ♪ Bawitdaba, da bang da bang diggy, diggy, diggy ♪ 00:17:08.128 --> 00:17:10.294 ♪ Shake the boogie said up jump the boogie ♪ 00:17:10.296 --> 00:17:13.164 ♪ Bawitdaba da bang da bang diggy, diggy, diggy ♪ 00:17:13.166 --> 00:17:15.466 ♪ Shake the boogie said up jump the boogie ♪ 00:17:15.468 --> 00:17:18.603 ♪ Bawitdaba da bang da bang diggy, diggy, diggy ♪ 00:17:20.473 --> 00:17:22.140 ♪ And this is for the questions ♪ 00:17:22.142 --> 00:17:23.741 ♪ That don't have any answers ♪ 00:17:23.743 --> 00:17:25.843 ♪ The midnight glances and the topless dancers ♪ 00:17:25.845 --> 00:17:28.679 ♪ The can of freaks Cars packed with speakers ♪ 00:17:28.681 --> 00:17:31.416 ♪ The G's with the 40s And the chicks with beepers ♪ 00:17:31.418 --> 00:17:34.085 ♪ The Northern Lights and the Southern Comfort ♪♪ 00:17:34.087 --> 00:17:36.487 Aaah! 00:17:41.528 --> 00:17:44.495 I'm losing it, Richie. What the... What is this? 00:17:44.497 --> 00:17:46.831 Nothing. It's a Mexican quaalude. 00:17:46.833 --> 00:17:49.193 Can't this wait until after the gig? 00:17:49.669 --> 00:17:51.402 Ho-Hold it. 00:17:51.404 --> 00:17:54.272 IED puffed a local on Flower Street. 00:17:54.274 --> 00:17:56.174 Land mine blew up two goats few blocks over. 00:17:56.176 --> 00:17:58.256 No worries. We're good to go. 00:18:03.450 --> 00:18:05.530 You know what? You can have half now. 00:18:07.887 --> 00:18:10.168 Save the rest for the after-party. 00:18:11.558 --> 00:18:15.193 They're blowing up goats. 00:18:16.362 --> 00:18:19.230 Must be some sort of festival or something. 00:18:30.710 --> 00:18:33.544 ♪ Bawitdaba, da bang da bang, diggy, diggy, diggy ♪ 00:18:33.546 --> 00:18:35.780 ♪ Shake the boogie, said up jump the boogie ♪ 00:18:35.782 --> 00:18:38.783 ♪ Bawitdaba, da bang da bang, diggy, diggy, diggy ♪ 00:18:38.785 --> 00:18:41.252 ♪ Shake the boogie, said up jump the boogie ♪ 00:18:41.254 --> 00:18:43.754 ♪ Bawitdaba, da bang da bang, diggy, diggy, diggy ♪ 00:18:43.756 --> 00:18:46.491 ♪ Shake the boogie, said up jump the boogie ♪ 00:18:46.493 --> 00:18:49.760 ♪ Bawitdaba, da bang da bang, diggy, diggy, diggy ♪ 00:18:53.900 --> 00:18:57.668 Mr. Lanz, this hotel is not MOSS... 00:18:57.670 --> 00:18:59.403 "Minimum Operating Security Standards." 00:18:59.405 --> 00:19:01.472 They usually don't clear our people to stay here, 00:19:01.474 --> 00:19:03.908 but the town's jammed up and you're only here one night. 00:19:03.910 --> 00:19:07.578 Get a room at the back away from the street and potential flying glass. 00:19:07.580 --> 00:19:10.181 Stay in it till I get here. See you at 1900 hours. 00:19:10.183 --> 00:19:12.750 I can't feel my lower lip. 00:19:12.752 --> 00:19:14.285 Good girl. 00:19:14.287 --> 00:19:16.254 Richie Lanz checking in. 00:19:16.256 --> 00:19:19.991 Uh, we are obviously the talent for tonight's show at Camp Phoenix. 00:19:19.993 --> 00:19:24.095 We've just come off a hellacious flight from the coast... 00:19:24.097 --> 00:19:27.431 and would really appreciate an upgrade, 00:19:27.433 --> 00:19:30.368 possibly to a junior executive suite. 00:19:30.370 --> 00:19:33.271 At the very least, two adjoining bedrooms. 00:19:33.273 --> 00:19:35.640 Something with some size, 00:19:35.642 --> 00:19:38.009 and definitely off the street, hmm? 00:19:45.718 --> 00:19:49.954 Hey. Bombay Brian just got out of jail... 00:19:49.956 --> 00:19:53.925 for hanging two Taliban guys upside down by their feet. 00:19:56.362 --> 00:19:58.563 Thank you for your sacrifice. 00:19:58.565 --> 00:20:01.365 You win, sir. I upgraded you. 00:20:04.003 --> 00:20:06.637 - What room, Nasim? - 26. 00:20:17.984 --> 00:20:20.151 My gal's got a big show tonight. 00:20:20.153 --> 00:20:21.986 She's got to get her rest. 00:20:21.988 --> 00:20:24.722 Big... Big-time show. 00:20:26.259 --> 00:20:29.527 Hi. 00:20:29.529 --> 00:20:32.096 I'm gonna see you guys after at the after-party. Right? 00:20:32.098 --> 00:20:34.338 Sure, I'll be there. Good. 00:20:37.003 --> 00:20:40.671 ♪ Don't forget about the rock and roll ♪ 00:21:16.209 --> 00:21:18.376 Yeah? 00:21:39.399 --> 00:21:42.099 - Hey. - Oh, look out. 00:21:42.101 --> 00:21:44.235 Life is good. Yes, and cheap. 00:21:44.237 --> 00:21:45.936 Yes. Cheap and good. Bartender. 00:21:45.938 --> 00:21:48.572 Let me get a round of drinks and one for our boy here? 00:21:48.574 --> 00:21:50.508 This is our card, in case you need anything. 00:21:50.510 --> 00:21:52.777 Want you to have it. Anything at all. 00:21:52.779 --> 00:21:55.413 "International Ballistics and Munitions." 00:21:55.415 --> 00:21:57.448 Yeah. IBM. 00:21:57.450 --> 00:21:59.617 Yeah, we sell bullets to the good guys. 00:21:59.619 --> 00:22:01.252 Which is, you know, karmically correct. 00:22:01.254 --> 00:22:05.022 And it's a $300 million contract with the damn Pentagon, dude. 00:22:05.024 --> 00:22:08.426 It's insane. Billions... Billions are pouring into this bitch. 00:22:08.428 --> 00:22:11.495 I am talking about US, NGO dough. NATO. 00:22:11.497 --> 00:22:13.431 It is a goddamn cash waterfall. 00:22:13.433 --> 00:22:16.000 All you gotta do is tilt your head back and swallow. 00:22:16.002 --> 00:22:17.668 It's porno. 00:22:19.839 --> 00:22:22.440 Six months ago, we were Herbalife salesmen. 00:22:22.442 --> 00:22:26.610 Look at us now, huh? The goddamn ammo kings of Kabul! Who would have fucking figured? 00:22:30.616 --> 00:22:33.617 Rise and shine, songbird. 00:22:33.619 --> 00:22:36.187 Your future's calling. 00:22:36.189 --> 00:22:38.055 ♪ You can swim the sea ♪ 00:22:38.057 --> 00:22:39.623 Ronnie? 00:22:39.625 --> 00:22:42.059 ♪ You can jump into the fire ♪ 00:22:42.061 --> 00:22:43.461 Ronnie. 00:22:43.463 --> 00:22:45.396 ♪ But you'll never be free ♪ 00:22:46.299 --> 00:22:48.799 ♪ You can shake me up ♪ 00:22:48.801 --> 00:22:50.901 ♪ Or I can break you down ♪ 00:22:50.903 --> 00:22:52.970 She's gone! 00:22:52.972 --> 00:22:54.839 She is? Truly? 00:22:54.841 --> 00:22:57.308 - You ready to roll, sir? - Hang on. 00:22:57.310 --> 00:23:00.378 Give me a second. His Ronnie is gone. 00:23:00.380 --> 00:23:01.912 Kidnapped? 00:23:03.516 --> 00:23:05.049 Big Daddy. Big Daddy. 00:23:05.051 --> 00:23:06.884 We have a possible abduction at the Majestic... 00:23:06.886 --> 00:23:11.088 No, she just left. She wrote a note. 00:23:11.090 --> 00:23:12.556 She left a note. 00:23:12.558 --> 00:23:13.991 Copy that. 00:23:13.993 --> 00:23:16.827 Well, I'm afraid that's a personal matter. 00:23:16.829 --> 00:23:20.865 She stole my wallet. She took my wallet, my money, my passport. 00:23:20.867 --> 00:23:25.336 - Women, sir. - Well, what about the show? 00:23:25.338 --> 00:23:28.572 Well, I guess the show must go on. 00:23:28.574 --> 00:23:30.508 But without you guys. 00:23:30.510 --> 00:23:32.410 Good luck, sir. 00:23:35.381 --> 00:23:40.251 "Good luck, sir." I'm royally fucked. 00:23:40.253 --> 00:23:43.687 ♪ We can make each other happy ♪♪ Welcome to Afghanistan. 00:23:47.627 --> 00:23:49.794 How do you know that she's gonna be here? 00:23:49.796 --> 00:23:51.962 There's nowhere else she could possibly be, okay? 00:23:51.964 --> 00:23:53.731 There's no flights out of this place until tomorrow. 00:23:53.733 --> 00:23:55.766 She is still in Kabul. Trust me. 00:23:55.768 --> 00:23:58.235 And if she's in Kabul, she's at the Volcan. 00:23:58.237 --> 00:23:59.770 Every-fucking-body's at the Volcan. 00:23:59.772 --> 00:24:02.873 Say it with me. Volcan! Volcan! 00:24:02.875 --> 00:24:06.444 - Volcan! Volcan! - Just chill the fuck out. 00:24:06.446 --> 00:24:09.447 You're in Kabul, man. Man up! 00:24:09.449 --> 00:24:11.649 Come on. Go loud with me, bro. 00:24:14.554 --> 00:24:16.954 What the fuck was that? 00:24:16.956 --> 00:24:19.390 Come on. Go loud with us. Let's go. 00:24:19.392 --> 00:24:22.460 Raise it. There we are. 00:24:22.462 --> 00:24:24.395 Very nice. Hit! Hit it. 00:24:24.397 --> 00:24:27.097 Yes, sir. Yes, sir. 00:24:27.099 --> 00:24:28.799 Yes! Whoo! 00:24:28.801 --> 00:24:31.202 Richie Rosé. That's my dude! 00:24:34.407 --> 00:24:36.173 It's pretty good, huh? Smooth. 00:24:36.175 --> 00:24:37.475 Smooth. 00:24:39.312 --> 00:24:41.912 This is a nice car. 00:24:41.914 --> 00:24:44.415 Just like the Mannix car from the TV show. 00:24:44.417 --> 00:24:47.084 I bought it from my boy, Azam Ghol. 00:24:47.086 --> 00:24:49.153 Sounds like someone from Lord of the Rings. 00:24:49.155 --> 00:24:52.590 No, no, no. He is the real Dark Lord, dude. 00:24:52.592 --> 00:24:54.992 This guy, he's an animal. He butchered what? 00:24:54.994 --> 00:24:57.094 Half of southern Afghanistan back in the day. 00:24:57.096 --> 00:24:58.996 But, still, really a cool guy. Very funny. 00:24:58.998 --> 00:25:00.931 Yeah, once you get to know him, he's great. 00:25:00.933 --> 00:25:04.168 He's got an incredible sense of humor. Get him out in the world. 00:25:04.170 --> 00:25:06.203 He threw in these awesome CDs. 00:25:06.205 --> 00:25:09.273 Linda Ronstadt, ZZ Top, 00:25:09.275 --> 00:25:10.841 Phantom, Cats. 00:25:13.479 --> 00:25:16.013 - Don't worry about that. - Why did you do that? 00:25:16.883 --> 00:25:18.616 Was that... Why did you do that? 00:25:18.618 --> 00:25:20.951 - Was that about Cats? - Hates Broadway. 00:25:20.953 --> 00:25:24.054 ♪ Jump around Jump around ♪ 00:25:24.056 --> 00:25:26.957 ♪ Jump up, jump up and get down ♪ 00:25:29.462 --> 00:25:31.795 They'll snap at you. 00:25:35.134 --> 00:25:37.301 This is fucking scary, isn't it? 00:25:41.807 --> 00:25:43.874 Who would put a club here? 00:25:46.646 --> 00:25:48.812 I figure this area is rent-controlled, 00:25:48.814 --> 00:25:51.982 so they're able to keep the prices really low. 00:25:53.819 --> 00:25:56.987 Come through here at Christmastime. It's all lit up. 00:25:56.989 --> 00:25:59.924 The parade goes right through here. It's beautiful. 00:26:02.495 --> 00:26:04.028 They're making us stop. 00:26:04.030 --> 00:26:06.270 Yeah, we're good. Don't worry about this. 00:26:34.694 --> 00:26:37.861 Uh-oh. Uh-oh? 00:26:37.863 --> 00:26:39.597 Which uh-oh? What is happening? 00:26:39.599 --> 00:26:41.839 Just Be cool, bro. Papers. 00:26:46.439 --> 00:26:48.872 I... Uh... 00:26:48.874 --> 00:26:50.274 Officer. 00:26:51.777 --> 00:26:54.445 Uh, time for a crazy story. 00:26:54.447 --> 00:26:57.481 Uh, Richie Lanz. It's a real pleasure. 00:26:57.483 --> 00:26:59.383 Um... 00:26:59.385 --> 00:27:02.219 I may have been burgled. 00:27:02.221 --> 00:27:04.388 My star... 00:27:04.390 --> 00:27:08.726 Uh, a singer, like Cher, 00:27:08.728 --> 00:27:13.230 seems to have vamoosed with my passport... 00:27:13.232 --> 00:27:15.165 and my money, 00:27:15.167 --> 00:27:19.403 and left me here in a place that I like, 00:27:19.405 --> 00:27:22.439 a country that I like and a village that I admire, 00:27:22.441 --> 00:27:24.408 uh... 00:27:24.410 --> 00:27:27.011 with no proof or identification that I am responsible... 00:27:27.013 --> 00:27:29.747 for a musical tour going through here, 00:27:29.749 --> 00:27:32.516 playing in your town and a number of others. 00:27:32.518 --> 00:27:36.787 And I'd like for you all to come to the show as my guests. 00:27:36.789 --> 00:27:40.024 - Backstage... - Get out of the car. Now! 00:27:50.436 --> 00:27:53.837 Fuck you! Fuck you! 00:27:53.839 --> 00:27:56.006 Those fools shoot like they dress. 00:27:56.008 --> 00:27:58.509 Welcome to the jungle! 00:28:00.312 --> 00:28:03.547 Oh, Jesus. Oh, God. 00:28:03.549 --> 00:28:06.784 Oh, God. 00:28:06.786 --> 00:28:11.321 Volcan! Volcan! Volcan! Volcan! 00:28:11.323 --> 00:28:13.757 I was about to fall asleep before that. 00:28:14.460 --> 00:28:15.980 Here we are. 00:28:18.230 --> 00:28:19.997 Thank you, bro. 00:28:19.999 --> 00:28:22.800 Oh! 00:28:22.802 --> 00:28:26.270 Kenny Loggins? You're still playing? 00:28:30.743 --> 00:28:33.143 You guys had guns? Oh, hell, yeah, we do. 00:28:37.583 --> 00:28:40.417 We good? 00:28:43.723 --> 00:28:45.289 What's up, dude? 00:28:49.361 --> 00:28:51.028 So you gave them your guns. 00:28:51.030 --> 00:28:53.497 Does this mean we're not in a war zone here? 00:28:53.499 --> 00:28:55.265 We're safe here? We're totally safe. 00:28:55.267 --> 00:28:57.201 This is a tough town. 00:28:57.203 --> 00:29:00.070 People blowing up all over the place, a million miles from home. Dirty. Stinky. 00:29:00.072 --> 00:29:02.573 We work hard, but we must also play hard. 00:29:02.575 --> 00:29:05.042 Dancing on the edge of the volcano. 00:29:06.445 --> 00:29:07.611 Rula, babe. 00:29:07.613 --> 00:29:09.179 Nick, Jake. 00:29:09.181 --> 00:29:10.781 Actually, I'm Nick. He's Jake. 00:29:10.783 --> 00:29:13.684 Whatever. Plus one? Mmm. 00:29:20.793 --> 00:29:23.861 No, I can't. 00:29:23.863 --> 00:29:25.596 Hey, let's spread out and find your Ronnie. 00:29:25.598 --> 00:29:28.866 I'll grab a beer. She's around here somewhere. Just keep looking, okay? 00:30:03.402 --> 00:30:07.905 ♪ Oh, how I'd love to ♪ 00:30:07.907 --> 00:30:12.176 ♪ Let you touch me slowly ♪ 00:30:12.178 --> 00:30:18.315 ♪ Over and under your spell ♪ 00:30:21.020 --> 00:30:29.020 ♪ Oh, how you love to let me fuck you slowly ♪ 00:30:29.695 --> 00:30:34.031 ♪ Over and under your spell ♪ 00:30:34.033 --> 00:30:36.366 You the new lifeguard? 00:30:40.372 --> 00:30:42.105 Oh. 00:30:43.475 --> 00:30:44.641 Oh? 00:30:44.643 --> 00:30:48.111 You're not a lifeguard. You're toast. 00:30:49.448 --> 00:30:52.549 Burnt. Singed. 00:30:52.551 --> 00:30:54.551 Fried. 00:30:56.055 --> 00:30:57.087 High. 00:31:00.192 --> 00:31:03.527 ♪ Come on, baby You know how ♪ 00:31:05.631 --> 00:31:07.564 I like your dress. 00:31:08.334 --> 00:31:10.367 I bet. 00:31:10.369 --> 00:31:11.935 Sparkly, huh? 00:31:17.676 --> 00:31:19.643 I'm Merci with an "I." 00:31:23.883 --> 00:31:25.883 Can you sing? 00:31:26.685 --> 00:31:27.985 Nope. 00:31:27.987 --> 00:31:30.587 But I can fuck you like a Mouseketeer on crack. 00:31:32.825 --> 00:31:34.758 You can? 00:31:34.760 --> 00:31:37.261 Sweets, I can do things to you... 00:31:37.263 --> 00:31:40.597 that are illegal in every civilized nation in the world. 00:31:40.599 --> 00:31:44.668 I will leave you broken, drooling 00:31:44.670 --> 00:31:46.737 and speaking in tongues... 00:31:46.739 --> 00:31:48.572 like a hillbilly snake handler. 00:31:50.342 --> 00:31:51.508 When? 00:31:51.510 --> 00:31:53.477 How much money you got? 00:31:56.749 --> 00:31:59.082 Well... 00:31:59.084 --> 00:32:01.685 I'm in a rented double-wide. 00:32:01.687 --> 00:32:03.487 You can ask anybody where. 00:32:06.959 --> 00:32:10.694 It's Miss Merci's 401(k) retirement tour. 00:32:10.696 --> 00:32:12.963 You do not wanna miss it. 00:32:16.969 --> 00:32:19.169 Keith Haring, 1987. 00:32:20.272 --> 00:32:24.708 I bought it off of John Cougar Mellencamp. 00:32:24.710 --> 00:32:26.276 Well, his bass player actually. 00:32:27.713 --> 00:32:31.615 - What's your name? - Richie Lanz. 00:32:34.553 --> 00:32:36.320 Buckle up, cowboy. 00:32:44.063 --> 00:32:45.629 Miss Merci. 00:32:45.631 --> 00:32:48.632 She's, uh, in the shower, I think. 00:32:48.634 --> 00:32:50.801 I suggest you come back... 00:32:50.803 --> 00:32:53.084 in maybe an hour and a half or so. 00:32:53.439 --> 00:32:56.440 Uh, Mr. Lanz? 00:32:56.442 --> 00:32:58.542 Hey. Private Barnes. 00:33:01.347 --> 00:33:03.707 I like what you've done with your hair, sir. 00:33:05.818 --> 00:33:07.718 Well, you're kind to say that. 00:33:09.421 --> 00:33:12.422 Uh, well. Enjoy the rest of your stay. 00:33:12.424 --> 00:33:14.191 Will do. 00:33:14.193 --> 00:33:16.193 Uh, Private? Yeah? 00:33:18.497 --> 00:33:20.430 Oh. Sure. Sure. 00:33:25.604 --> 00:33:27.137 You look kind of nervous. 00:33:27.139 --> 00:33:29.659 Probably your first hostage rescue, huh? 00:33:30.209 --> 00:33:32.542 Yes, sir. Here. 00:33:32.544 --> 00:33:35.178 No, I can get that one. Thank you. All right. 00:33:35.848 --> 00:33:38.548 Wow. 00:33:38.550 --> 00:33:41.284 I ain't never seen any shit like this before, sir. Good for you. 00:33:42.621 --> 00:33:44.621 Well, it's wartime, son. 00:34:00.239 --> 00:34:02.372 It's worth the wait. 00:34:16.522 --> 00:34:18.889 Hey, bub. Hey, bub. 00:34:18.891 --> 00:34:20.457 Going downtown? 00:34:26.665 --> 00:34:29.099 I got nothin'. I've got nothin' for you, guys. 00:34:29.101 --> 00:34:31.868 Hashish? No. Never again. 00:34:31.870 --> 00:34:34.905 That's final. Maps! Maps! 00:34:34.907 --> 00:34:37.007 Five dollars? You got to be kidding. 00:34:37.009 --> 00:34:39.176 I've got nothing, fellas. Nothin'. 00:34:39.178 --> 00:34:43.447 Look, check my... Here. Who combs their hair? 00:34:43.449 --> 00:34:47.384 Map! Map! You. You got hair. Here, take it. Kid with the hair. 00:34:47.386 --> 00:34:51.855 Hey. Hey! Are you a taxi? 00:34:51.857 --> 00:34:53.390 Oh, yes, yes, yes. Sure, sure. 00:34:53.392 --> 00:34:56.860 Maps! Maps! 00:34:56.862 --> 00:34:58.428 Maps! Maps! Maps! 00:35:00.732 --> 00:35:03.212 Thank you. Yes. 00:35:03.535 --> 00:35:05.435 I'm glad you speak the language. 00:35:05.437 --> 00:35:08.371 Yes, yes. I speak. Yes. I speak American. American. 00:35:08.373 --> 00:35:10.507 Where'd you learn? Yes, yes. 00:35:11.477 --> 00:35:13.677 International language of love. Yes? 00:35:14.546 --> 00:35:17.314 Look forward, please. Oh, yes. 00:35:17.316 --> 00:35:19.416 Thank you. I thought that was French. 00:35:19.418 --> 00:35:22.319 No, no, no. Who sings the disco? 00:35:23.222 --> 00:35:25.489 We do, I guess. The good stuff. 00:35:25.491 --> 00:35:28.225 Yes. Yes. Bionic Boogie, Sylvester, 00:35:28.227 --> 00:35:31.595 "Lip Incorporate," Madonna... 00:35:31.597 --> 00:35:33.563 Hey, an old friend. 00:35:34.166 --> 00:35:35.932 You have met Madonna? 00:35:35.934 --> 00:35:38.702 "Met" is an understatement. 00:35:39.905 --> 00:35:41.471 I love you, Daddy! 00:35:41.473 --> 00:35:44.574 - I love you! - I'm hanging up now. 00:35:44.576 --> 00:35:47.511 Please don't hang up. I'm in a jam. Syl, please. Wait. 00:35:47.513 --> 00:35:53.683 I'm stuck in Kabul, and-and Ronnie left... 00:35:53.685 --> 00:35:57.587 and took my passport and my money... 00:35:57.589 --> 00:35:59.489 and my plane ticket. 00:36:01.660 --> 00:36:03.693 Yeah, yeah. 00:36:03.695 --> 00:36:07.497 I need you to wire me a few thousand dollars. 00:36:07.499 --> 00:36:12.202 Oh. Geez. Sure. Of course. 00:36:13.172 --> 00:36:15.172 You're the greatest. You're aces. 00:36:15.174 --> 00:36:16.673 The second you pay me the two months... 00:36:16.675 --> 00:36:20.177 of child support you owe me, you pathetic piece of shit. 00:36:23.115 --> 00:36:25.515 Right. Are you still there? 00:36:31.290 --> 00:36:33.490 I need a shower. Of course, sir. 00:36:50.976 --> 00:36:52.976 You smell like pussy. 00:36:52.978 --> 00:36:55.812 I'm gonna take that as a compliment. 00:36:55.814 --> 00:36:58.648 Your girl's gone. 00:36:58.650 --> 00:37:02.252 I got her out of here last night on a C-130 to Dubai. 00:37:02.254 --> 00:37:06.256 - Why? - 'Cause she asked me to. 00:37:06.258 --> 00:37:08.425 'Cause she asked you to? 00:37:08.427 --> 00:37:12.329 Yes. That and the fact that she paid me a thousand dollars. 00:37:12.331 --> 00:37:14.331 My thousand dollars. 00:37:14.333 --> 00:37:17.901 That's half my fee. She said you'd pay me the rest. 00:37:17.903 --> 00:37:21.204 No and no. 00:37:21.206 --> 00:37:24.174 I have no money, no passport... 00:37:24.176 --> 00:37:27.510 One thousand. American. Now. 00:37:27.512 --> 00:37:29.879 I assume you'll take a personal check. 00:37:29.881 --> 00:37:32.849 I assume you'll take a bullet to the foot. 00:37:34.253 --> 00:37:36.186 Look, Mr. Bombay... 00:37:36.188 --> 00:37:38.755 Or, uh, do you go by "Mumbai" now? 00:37:38.757 --> 00:37:41.825 Twenty-four hours. You pay me or you die. 00:37:45.264 --> 00:37:47.664 You don't deserve a talent like that. 00:37:48.533 --> 00:37:51.534 She begged you to let her sing her own songs. 00:37:52.938 --> 00:37:55.705 You force her to sing that stupid cover shit. 00:37:57.042 --> 00:37:58.541 Creative suicide. 00:37:58.543 --> 00:38:02.912 "A"... It's called "management strategy." 00:38:02.914 --> 00:38:04.981 And two... 00:38:04.983 --> 00:38:08.585 Why don't you get me my passport and wallet back for the $1,000? 00:38:08.587 --> 00:38:11.154 How about if I punch a hole through your heart right now? 00:38:11.156 --> 00:38:12.989 Get out of my way. 00:38:14.226 --> 00:38:15.959 Twenty-four hours! 00:38:19.097 --> 00:38:20.697 One day. 00:38:21.600 --> 00:38:24.301 You're repeating yourself. 00:38:25.737 --> 00:38:28.438 ♪ Come down off your throne ♪ 00:38:28.440 --> 00:38:32.475 ♪ And leave your body alone ♪ 00:38:32.477 --> 00:38:38.014 ♪ You are the reason I've been waiting so long ♪ 00:38:40.118 --> 00:38:45.422 ♪ Somebody holds the key ♪ 00:38:46.925 --> 00:38:50.660 ♪ But I'm near the end ♪ 00:38:50.662 --> 00:38:57.200 ♪ And I just ain't got the time ♪ 00:38:57.202 --> 00:38:58.935 ♪ And I'm wasted ♪ 00:38:58.937 --> 00:39:02.939 ♪ And I can't find my way home ♪♪ 00:39:02.941 --> 00:39:04.474 It's ridiculous! Woodstock... 00:39:04.476 --> 00:39:06.943 Jimi Hendrix played The Star Spangled Banner... 00:39:06.945 --> 00:39:09.512 because I asked him to! 00:39:11.283 --> 00:39:13.683 Two weeks... 00:39:13.685 --> 00:39:16.152 to get a passport to my own country. 00:39:16.154 --> 00:39:18.288 Hey... 00:39:18.290 --> 00:39:22.492 Could you please turn down the "Boogie Oogie Oogie Oogie"? 00:39:22.494 --> 00:39:24.794 Hey, boss. How about lunch? 00:39:24.796 --> 00:39:26.396 Do you like Mexican? 00:39:27.299 --> 00:39:29.199 Mexican's fine. 00:39:29.201 --> 00:39:30.900 But no food. 00:39:30.902 --> 00:39:35.004 Madonna? Please. Donna. 00:39:35.006 --> 00:39:38.842 Donna Elaine Beckerman. Grosse Pointe, Michigan. 00:39:38.844 --> 00:39:41.745 - I gave her the name Madonna. - That's why you are a very famous man. 00:39:41.747 --> 00:39:44.981 - Saw her singing on the street. - Yes. The Hamburger Hamlet. 00:39:44.983 --> 00:39:46.549 On Sunset. 00:39:47.319 --> 00:39:48.918 Legendary ears. 00:39:50.389 --> 00:39:52.422 Oh. Mr. Richie. 00:39:53.992 --> 00:39:56.326 Tonight is Afghan Star. 00:39:56.328 --> 00:39:58.061 On TV. 00:40:00.232 --> 00:40:02.565 Afghan Star? Yes. Big TV show. 00:40:02.567 --> 00:40:05.502 Like your American Idol. 00:40:05.504 --> 00:40:07.270 Huge competition for our singers. 00:40:07.272 --> 00:40:09.439 He is favorite. 00:40:10.842 --> 00:40:15.211 All of Afghanistan, they watch it and they vote it. 00:40:15.213 --> 00:40:17.514 For money? Yes, of course. 00:40:17.516 --> 00:40:22.118 Winner gets $5,000 American and record deal. 00:40:23.121 --> 00:40:25.588 I dig the suit. Retro. 00:40:25.590 --> 00:40:29.092 Hey. Uncle Rich, we've got to get out of here. We've got something better than this. 00:40:29.094 --> 00:40:31.928 It's there! It's there! Whoa! 00:40:32.697 --> 00:40:34.364 Whoa! Look at that, huh? 00:40:34.366 --> 00:40:36.966 Three months I've been trying to get that fucking thing to spiral. 00:40:40.238 --> 00:40:41.871 Here you go. 00:40:43.708 --> 00:40:47.010 - What's that for? - That's some gangster shit. 00:40:48.146 --> 00:40:49.979 Just consider it a lifetime achievement award. 00:40:49.981 --> 00:40:51.915 Look, I think what he's trying to say... 00:40:51.917 --> 00:40:56.219 is that, ultimately, you are our arms man, and you are in trouble. 00:40:56.221 --> 00:40:58.054 That's about $15,000. 00:40:58.056 --> 00:40:59.989 Not enough? 00:41:07.732 --> 00:41:10.400 - What do you guys want? - Fucking mind reader. 00:41:10.402 --> 00:41:11.468 Clairvoyant. 00:41:11.470 --> 00:41:13.002 Okay, what we're looking for... 00:41:13.004 --> 00:41:15.405 is a little of that Richie Lanz closing magic. 00:41:15.407 --> 00:41:17.407 You see, we're, uh... we're double-booked. 00:41:17.409 --> 00:41:19.409 What my partner is trying to say... 00:41:19.411 --> 00:41:21.611 is that we are tied up here in Kabul. 00:41:21.613 --> 00:41:23.246 But we got a shipment due in Patkia... 00:41:23.248 --> 00:41:24.447 Today. Yep. 00:41:24.449 --> 00:41:26.916 Today, Rich. Okay? It's just a few hours south. 00:41:26.918 --> 00:41:29.018 We will send some security just for show. 00:41:29.020 --> 00:41:31.921 Totally not necessary. This is a sweet Pashtun village. 00:41:31.923 --> 00:41:36.926 Rich, these... These are the very good guys, okay? 00:41:36.928 --> 00:41:38.761 All they need is a few thousand rounds of ammunition... 00:41:38.763 --> 00:41:40.830 to defend their village. 00:41:40.832 --> 00:41:43.800 We gotta help these guys. Of course we gotta help these guys. 00:41:43.802 --> 00:41:46.302 It's what we do, right? It's why we're here. Mm-hmm. 00:41:46.304 --> 00:41:48.771 It's why we are all here, okay? 00:41:48.773 --> 00:41:51.808 Look, we need somebody we can trust, all right? An American. 00:41:51.810 --> 00:41:53.710 Mm-hmm. That we can trust. 00:41:53.712 --> 00:41:56.980 You drive down, you do the meet and greet, get paid, obviously, see the sights. 00:41:56.982 --> 00:41:59.516 And they're wonderful sights. The road trip is absolutely incredible. 00:41:59.518 --> 00:42:03.019 There's amazing rock formations. It's like Arizona. Really, really pretty. 00:42:03.021 --> 00:42:05.788 And you'll be back at L'Volcan tonight for cocktail hour. 00:42:05.790 --> 00:42:08.350 A tourist trip. Totally. You got a camera? 00:42:11.663 --> 00:42:14.631 Why would I ever do that? 00:42:14.633 --> 00:42:17.567 - Love this guy. - Cool head in a tight spot. 00:42:17.569 --> 00:42:20.470 Why would you ever do that? You think we didn't think about this? 00:42:20.472 --> 00:42:22.005 Obviously we did. We thought about you. 00:42:22.007 --> 00:42:23.806 And then we thought about your current situation. 00:42:23.808 --> 00:42:27.076 Look, Rich, the US Embassy, if pushed, can issue... 00:42:27.078 --> 00:42:29.312 what they like to call a "limited-validity" passport. 00:42:29.314 --> 00:42:31.648 Like right now. Ahora. Right the fuck now. 00:42:31.650 --> 00:42:33.883 We can have it in your hands tonight. 00:42:33.885 --> 00:42:35.818 No questions asked. No. 00:42:35.820 --> 00:42:38.321 Like I said, we can and will make that happen for you. 00:42:38.323 --> 00:42:41.758 Now, it's only good for a year, but it will get you home. 00:42:44.396 --> 00:42:45.995 And it's safe? 00:42:45.997 --> 00:42:48.997 It's safe as milk. 00:42:53.104 --> 00:42:56.539 Thirty clicks from our destination out on the Gardez road. 00:42:56.541 --> 00:42:59.242 The mission today is a simple stop and drop. 00:43:00.845 --> 00:43:04.714 We got a Hollywood agent in the truck with us today. 00:43:04.716 --> 00:43:07.150 Let's see if we can't keep him alive. 00:43:08.386 --> 00:43:10.186 You say you're shopping a book deal. 00:43:10.188 --> 00:43:14.257 You happen to be sitting next to a very well-connected hombre. 00:43:15.393 --> 00:43:16.926 Connected to who? 00:43:16.928 --> 00:43:20.029 - Danielle Steel. - Bullshit. 00:43:20.031 --> 00:43:22.365 - We dated. - Get the fuck out of here. 00:43:22.367 --> 00:43:24.233 Seriously. No way. 00:43:24.235 --> 00:43:27.870 - Back in the Bay Area. - You dated Danielle Steel? 00:43:27.872 --> 00:43:29.272 Mm-hmm. 00:43:31.376 --> 00:43:32.942 You fuck her? 00:43:34.546 --> 00:43:36.579 Twice. 00:43:36.581 --> 00:43:38.948 I read Passion's Promise. 00:43:40.118 --> 00:43:42.118 A lot of sex. 00:43:42.120 --> 00:43:46.222 - She had beautiful hair, didn't she? - Back then. 00:43:46.224 --> 00:43:49.425 Now I think she's wearing wigs. And cheap ones. Really. 00:43:49.427 --> 00:43:51.394 Like dime-store ones. 00:43:51.396 --> 00:43:53.830 Synthetic? 00:43:53.832 --> 00:43:55.832 You know, she's got the money to spend. 00:43:55.834 --> 00:43:58.154 I don't know why she doesn't do it. 00:44:05.777 --> 00:44:09.412 - Come on! - Mr. Richie! Mr. Richie! 00:44:09.414 --> 00:44:10.913 Mr. Richie! 00:44:10.915 --> 00:44:13.149 The fucking truck is on fire. Get out of there! 00:44:13.151 --> 00:44:16.119 Let's go. Get up! Get up! Let's go. 00:44:16.121 --> 00:44:18.788 Get up! Yo, anybody hit? Anybody hit? 00:44:18.790 --> 00:44:23.092 Baba? Get It On John? Everybody all right? 00:44:23.094 --> 00:44:25.495 Where you going? Mr. Richie! You are blown up? 00:44:25.497 --> 00:44:28.164 Richie! Where are you going? 00:44:29.934 --> 00:44:32.134 - Mr. Richie! - Hey! 00:44:33.038 --> 00:44:36.372 The fuck you going? Get that gear out of the car. 00:44:37.776 --> 00:44:39.542 Whoa, Hollywood! Where are you going? 00:44:39.544 --> 00:44:41.177 Hey! 00:44:42.681 --> 00:44:45.682 Hey! The fuck you going? 00:44:56.895 --> 00:44:59.395 Where are you going? This wasn't the deal. 00:45:00.565 --> 00:45:04.467 What? 00:45:04.469 --> 00:45:05.968 This wasn't the deal. 00:45:05.970 --> 00:45:08.130 The deal was... 00:45:09.340 --> 00:45:11.874 The deal was safe as milk. 00:45:11.876 --> 00:45:14.143 Was the deal. Safe as milk. 00:45:14.145 --> 00:45:16.713 Let's go. Let's go. Let's get out of here. 00:45:16.715 --> 00:45:18.981 Not getting blown to hell. 00:45:18.983 --> 00:45:22.985 Milk? Do these look like milk trucks? 00:45:22.987 --> 00:45:25.054 Do I look like a milkman? 00:45:25.056 --> 00:45:27.657 I don't like the tone of your voice. 00:45:27.659 --> 00:45:29.692 You're not gonna get out of here without us. 00:45:29.694 --> 00:45:31.728 You're not gonna get five clicks out of here. 00:45:32.330 --> 00:45:34.263 What's a click? 00:45:34.265 --> 00:45:36.999 It's a unit of measurement in the desert. 00:45:37.001 --> 00:45:39.502 Mr. Richie... Heads up. Heads up. What do you got? 00:45:39.504 --> 00:45:41.437 Horses. Horses, Mr. Richie. 00:45:49.080 --> 00:45:50.747 Oh, fuck. 00:45:53.885 --> 00:45:56.319 Come on out. Come on. 00:46:02.527 --> 00:46:04.594 We should have taken horses. 00:46:08.700 --> 00:46:11.300 They are my people. Yes. 00:46:12.403 --> 00:46:15.004 It's okay. They're Pashtun. 00:46:31.890 --> 00:46:35.057 Where you goin'? To close this deal. 00:46:37.562 --> 00:46:39.228 Hey. 00:46:39.230 --> 00:46:40.897 Richie Lanz. 00:46:40.899 --> 00:46:43.432 Talent manager of Van Nuys, California. 00:46:43.434 --> 00:46:45.468 Soon to be in Beverly Hills. 00:46:45.470 --> 00:46:47.069 How y'all doing, guys? 00:46:47.071 --> 00:46:50.306 As-salaam alaikum. 00:46:53.244 --> 00:46:55.211 Back at you, babe. 00:47:10.195 --> 00:47:11.928 We got all the stuff you asked for. 00:47:11.930 --> 00:47:14.964 Everything's here. It's all boxed real nice. 00:47:14.966 --> 00:47:16.999 Bows. The whole thing. 00:47:20.371 --> 00:47:21.531 Heads up. 00:47:24.175 --> 00:47:26.676 - Yes. He's cool. - We done, champ? 00:47:26.678 --> 00:47:31.347 No, I think... Uh, everything but the, uh... the money. It's good. 00:47:31.349 --> 00:47:34.550 Uh, okay, I guess you've got what you need. 00:47:34.552 --> 00:47:37.553 There's just the matter of an account balance. 00:47:53.471 --> 00:47:55.872 Is he... Is he stiffing me? 00:48:05.683 --> 00:48:08.351 He is not on our side. 00:48:08.353 --> 00:48:11.433 Yeah, I think I know a good cop, bad cop when I see it. 00:48:25.837 --> 00:48:28.905 He wants to pay you over tea at his home. 00:48:31.109 --> 00:48:33.376 Tea? Yes. And then dinner. 00:48:33.378 --> 00:48:35.444 And then he would like us to spend the night. 00:48:35.446 --> 00:48:38.114 It is an incredible honor, Mr. Richie. 00:48:40.618 --> 00:48:42.218 I don't know. 00:48:42.220 --> 00:48:44.720 If you refuse, he will be honor-bound... 00:48:44.722 --> 00:48:46.555 to hunt you down and kill you, 00:48:46.557 --> 00:48:50.059 and then hunt down your family and kill them. 00:48:51.763 --> 00:48:56.599 I'm thinking. 00:48:57.902 --> 00:49:00.036 First you lose your girl. 00:49:00.038 --> 00:49:02.805 Now you're gonna lose your head. 00:49:02.807 --> 00:49:05.541 You're running out of shit to lose. 00:49:05.543 --> 00:49:08.611 Baba, Johnny, get this shit off the truck. 00:49:08.613 --> 00:49:10.379 Let's get out of here. 00:49:13.718 --> 00:49:17.553 In my country we often say thank you with a song. 00:49:17.555 --> 00:49:20.957 Ready? Ready? Ready? 00:49:20.959 --> 00:49:25.094 ♪ Smoke on the water ♪ 00:49:25.096 --> 00:49:29.565 ♪ Fire in the night sky ♪ 00:49:29.567 --> 00:49:33.069 ♪ Smoke on the water ♪ 00:49:33.071 --> 00:49:38.140 ♪ Fire in the sky, yeah ♪ 00:49:51.689 --> 00:49:54.156 Bring it home! 00:49:54.158 --> 00:49:58.260 ♪ Smoke on the water ♪ 00:49:58.262 --> 00:50:01.263 ♪ Fire in the night ♪ 00:50:01.265 --> 00:50:06.168 ♪ Smoke on the water ♪ 00:50:06.170 --> 00:50:08.504 ♪ Fire in the night ♪ 00:50:08.506 --> 00:50:10.272 Come on. Bring it down! 00:50:43.174 --> 00:50:44.607 Good night, everybody. 00:50:46.644 --> 00:50:48.210 Thank you. 00:50:49.981 --> 00:50:51.714 Thank you very much. 00:51:04.495 --> 00:51:06.929 "Everything that we have"... 00:51:10.535 --> 00:51:13.936 "All the wealth of my village, for what?" 00:51:16.340 --> 00:51:18.774 "To buy more bullets, more guns." 00:51:21.712 --> 00:51:23.646 "We are surrounded by enemies." 00:51:26.851 --> 00:51:29.118 "The mujahideen warlords." 00:51:31.856 --> 00:51:34.056 "Azam Ghol is my Pashtun brother." 00:51:38.930 --> 00:51:43.532 "He comes to take my village, and he wants us to grow the poppy." 00:51:47.071 --> 00:51:49.738 "Twenty-five years of killing." 00:51:54.378 --> 00:51:57.279 "I am tired of war, and I cannot afford the peace." 00:52:06.424 --> 00:52:08.791 "Allah helps the innocent." 00:52:10.995 --> 00:52:12.628 We have a saying: 00:52:14.999 --> 00:52:17.733 "The Lord works in mysterious ways." 00:52:50.468 --> 00:52:52.001 ♪ Trouble ♪ 00:52:52.003 --> 00:52:56.605 ♪ Oh, trouble, set me free ♪ 00:52:58.376 --> 00:53:00.676 ♪ I have seen your face ♪ 00:53:00.678 --> 00:53:04.213 ♪ And it's too much, too much for me ♪ 00:53:07.652 --> 00:53:09.451 ♪ Trouble ♪ 00:53:09.453 --> 00:53:13.889 ♪ Oh, trouble, can't you see? ♪ 00:53:15.126 --> 00:53:17.459 ♪ You're eating my heart away ♪ 00:53:17.461 --> 00:53:21.263 ♪ And there's nothing much left of me ♪ 00:53:23.868 --> 00:53:27.303 ♪ I've ♪ 00:53:27.305 --> 00:53:30.172 ♪ Drunk your wine ♪ 00:53:30.174 --> 00:53:33.909 ♪ You have made your world mine ♪ 00:53:33.911 --> 00:53:37.980 ♪ So won't you be fair? ♪ 00:53:37.982 --> 00:53:40.783 ♪ So won't you be fair? ♪ 00:53:43.020 --> 00:53:46.155 ♪ I ♪ 00:53:46.157 --> 00:53:49.491 ♪ Don't want no more of you ♪ 00:53:49.493 --> 00:53:53.162 ♪ So won't you be kind to me? ♪ 00:53:53.164 --> 00:53:55.831 ♪ Just let me go where ♪ 00:53:56.667 --> 00:53:59.902 ♪ I'll have to go there ♪♪ 00:54:26.931 --> 00:54:29.298 Well, la-di-da. 00:54:34.438 --> 00:54:36.719 Taxi. 00:54:39.744 --> 00:54:43.879 I heard a girl singing just now. 00:54:43.881 --> 00:54:45.914 Right over there. 00:54:45.916 --> 00:54:47.716 A Pashtun girl. 00:54:47.718 --> 00:54:49.852 No. Impossible. 00:54:50.888 --> 00:54:54.290 The girl in the red burka. We saw her today. 00:54:54.292 --> 00:54:56.058 No, Pashtun women cannot. 00:54:56.060 --> 00:54:57.826 They are forbidden to sing. 00:54:57.828 --> 00:55:01.797 The chick in the red burka didn't get the memo. 00:55:02.733 --> 00:55:04.667 This girl... 00:55:05.903 --> 00:55:09.338 Oh! Oh, God. Oh! 00:55:09.340 --> 00:55:11.940 This girl... 00:55:11.942 --> 00:55:15.244 Riza, Richie Lanz is about one thing, one thing only. 00:55:15.246 --> 00:55:17.646 What is it? Your ears. 00:55:17.648 --> 00:55:19.048 My ears. 00:55:20.251 --> 00:55:22.484 And signing. 00:55:22.486 --> 00:55:25.587 So it's two things. My ears and signing. 00:55:25.589 --> 00:55:29.024 I hear 'em, and I sign 'em. 00:55:29.026 --> 00:55:30.826 So simple. 00:55:32.330 --> 00:55:35.631 A Pashtun woman? From this village? 00:55:35.633 --> 00:55:39.353 They will kill her, and then right away, they will kill us. 00:55:39.870 --> 00:55:44.773 With big, sharp rocks. That is simple. 00:55:47.011 --> 00:55:49.311 Well, I think you're wrong. I hope you're wrong. 00:55:49.313 --> 00:55:51.280 And I think you're wrong. 00:55:51.282 --> 00:55:54.116 Look around. Look at that. 00:55:54.118 --> 00:55:55.684 Look at that. 00:55:56.620 --> 00:55:59.455 Look at that. Look at all of that. 00:55:59.457 --> 00:56:01.623 And look at me. 00:56:01.625 --> 00:56:04.059 What the hell am I doing here? 00:56:05.129 --> 00:56:07.129 This is so crazy, so random. 00:56:07.131 --> 00:56:09.131 This has got to be fate. 00:56:09.133 --> 00:56:11.567 There's got to be a reason for this. 00:56:11.569 --> 00:56:14.970 And the reason is that girl... 00:56:14.972 --> 00:56:18.073 and that TV show. 00:56:18.976 --> 00:56:22.478 I am supposed to be here. 00:56:23.914 --> 00:56:27.249 I will talk. 00:56:27.251 --> 00:56:30.886 You will translate. 00:56:30.888 --> 00:56:33.422 We will die. 00:56:35.159 --> 00:56:37.393 That's the spirit. 00:56:38.896 --> 00:56:43.499 I see that none of you are cable or satellite subscribers. 00:56:44.268 --> 00:56:46.668 But I'm pretty sure... 00:56:46.670 --> 00:56:49.671 you've heard about Afghan Star, huh? 00:56:49.673 --> 00:56:54.176 It's a big, big hit. 00:56:54.178 --> 00:56:55.778 TV show that comes out of Kabul. 00:56:57.548 --> 00:56:59.415 Heard about it. Heard about it. 00:56:59.417 --> 00:57:02.084 Well, I happen to have these babies right here. 00:57:04.622 --> 00:57:07.456 They're like yours, but they're magic. 00:57:10.961 --> 00:57:14.596 And I already know who the winner is. 00:57:16.233 --> 00:57:20.769 I know who's the best, 'cause I heard the winner here last night. 00:57:20.771 --> 00:57:23.472 In a cave above your village. 00:57:28.312 --> 00:57:30.946 My all-time guy would simply tell us, 00:57:30.948 --> 00:57:34.616 "Come together, right now, over her." 00:57:40.057 --> 00:57:43.559 Uh, she is Tariq's daughter. She is Tariq's daughter. Of course. 00:57:43.561 --> 00:57:45.401 Get out! 00:57:46.297 --> 00:57:49.631 He... Is he proud? He's got to be. 00:57:50.801 --> 00:57:53.502 "How dare you my daughter insult?" 00:57:54.238 --> 00:57:56.572 Shame. Dishonor. 00:57:56.574 --> 00:57:58.540 "Eternal death." 00:57:59.743 --> 00:58:02.478 I mean, he just goes on, sir. 00:58:05.616 --> 00:58:07.449 So I guess that's a "no." 00:58:20.664 --> 00:58:22.998 Great. A flat tire. 00:58:23.000 --> 00:58:24.933 See? We are cursed. 00:58:24.935 --> 00:58:28.270 Oh, come on. It's a flat tire. 00:58:28.272 --> 00:58:31.273 I'm sure you know how to fix it. 00:58:42.319 --> 00:58:43.952 - A ninja! - Salima. 00:58:45.556 --> 00:58:47.823 I must go to Kabul. 00:58:47.825 --> 00:58:50.325 Allah gave me this voice. This is his gift. 00:58:50.327 --> 00:58:53.195 Absolutely. 00:58:53.197 --> 00:58:55.364 But why are you in my trunk? 00:58:55.366 --> 00:58:57.833 I must honor him with my music. 00:58:57.835 --> 00:59:00.235 I must celebrate my God with my singing. 00:59:00.237 --> 00:59:02.404 I must go to Kabul. I must. 00:59:02.406 --> 00:59:04.339 Hey, you're preaching to the choir, 00:59:04.341 --> 00:59:08.744 but, you know, your father, family, apparently will kill me. 00:59:08.746 --> 00:59:12.180 Then it is Allah's will, and we shall die together. 00:59:12.182 --> 00:59:14.850 No. No, we shall not. 00:59:14.852 --> 00:59:18.554 I have no intention of dying, ever. 00:59:19.523 --> 00:59:21.223 Tell her, Riza. 00:59:28.999 --> 00:59:31.199 Kabul? 00:59:31.201 --> 00:59:32.801 That way. 00:59:38.842 --> 00:59:41.977 Hold it right there, Salima. 00:59:44.381 --> 00:59:47.015 From the moment you heard me sing, 00:59:47.017 --> 00:59:48.850 since you found me in the cave, 00:59:48.852 --> 00:59:51.019 since we were put here on this earth, 00:59:51.021 --> 00:59:56.024 everything in our lives has led us to this time, this place. 00:59:56.026 --> 00:59:59.695 Richie Lanz, our story is already written, 00:59:59.697 --> 01:00:04.099 and now... now we shall play our parts. 01:00:04.101 --> 01:00:08.003 We must. There is no choice. It is God's will. 01:00:13.310 --> 01:00:15.710 Okay, but I'm gonna want 20%. 01:00:20.117 --> 01:00:22.584 No contract. 01:00:22.586 --> 01:00:25.754 Just a handshake. That's all I've ever had. 01:00:25.756 --> 01:00:27.956 A handshake is my word. 01:00:30.127 --> 01:00:32.828 Allah loves those who act justly. 01:00:39.069 --> 01:00:41.803 All right. Back in the trunk. 01:00:43.974 --> 01:00:45.641 I'm kidding. 01:00:45.643 --> 01:00:47.409 ♪ People ♪ 01:00:47.411 --> 01:00:49.745 ♪ Do you understand me now? ♪ 01:00:51.148 --> 01:00:54.816 ♪ Sometimes I feel a little mad ♪ 01:00:56.587 --> 01:00:58.920 ♪ Don't you know no one alive ♪ 01:00:58.922 --> 01:01:02.290 ♪ Can always be an angel ♪ 01:01:02.292 --> 01:01:05.994 ♪ When things go wrong, I seem a little sad ♪ 01:01:07.197 --> 01:01:13.368 ♪ But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good ♪ 01:01:13.370 --> 01:01:19.341 ♪ Oh, Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood ♪♪ 01:01:24.948 --> 01:01:28.216 A guy wouldn't have to walk that far. 01:01:30.954 --> 01:01:33.074 I must speak. 01:01:33.557 --> 01:01:37.125 Sure. We have time. 01:01:37.127 --> 01:01:41.396 I think you are a smart man, Mr. Richie, and a good one. 01:01:42.199 --> 01:01:44.399 All right. Calm down. 01:01:45.335 --> 01:01:48.036 Salima is in danger. 01:01:48.038 --> 01:01:49.571 I will protect her. 01:01:49.573 --> 01:01:53.308 Against millions? Where will she even sleep? 01:01:53.310 --> 01:01:55.510 I have one bed, one room. 01:01:55.512 --> 01:01:59.314 If I bring an unmarried Pashtun girl in my building, 01:01:59.316 --> 01:02:01.883 my neighbors would tear us apart for the sin. 01:02:03.020 --> 01:02:07.489 Do you remember where we first met? 01:02:10.260 --> 01:02:11.927 70-30. 01:02:11.929 --> 01:02:14.296 You pay room and board, all out of pocket. 01:02:17.267 --> 01:02:18.934 Done. 01:02:18.936 --> 01:02:21.670 I also get a taste of all the merch money. 01:02:21.672 --> 01:02:24.740 And I get a taste of the merch. 01:02:24.742 --> 01:02:27.142 In all markets, all endeavors. 01:02:28.278 --> 01:02:30.278 Boys, it's your lucky day. 01:02:30.280 --> 01:02:33.281 All right, none of you are leaving here with a vicious STD. 01:02:33.283 --> 01:02:37.018 Downside... Miss Merci's pulling an early retirement. 01:02:37.020 --> 01:02:38.687 Hangin' up my hot pants. 01:02:38.689 --> 01:02:42.357 I suggest you go down to the Chinese whorehouse on Chicken Street. 01:02:44.528 --> 01:02:46.795 Breakfast, darlin'? 01:02:46.797 --> 01:02:51.633 Got Captain Crunch, Lucky Charms. 01:02:51.635 --> 01:02:53.802 I come here for the waitress. 01:03:56.800 --> 01:03:59.968 Scared is normal. Scared is okay. 01:03:59.970 --> 01:04:03.371 Jon Bon Jovi throws up before every show. 01:04:07.044 --> 01:04:09.444 We're on the list. Lanz, plus one. 01:04:13.817 --> 01:04:15.383 There is no list. 01:04:17.621 --> 01:04:19.187 There's always a list. 01:04:19.189 --> 01:04:21.790 I appreciate your passion, but... 01:04:21.792 --> 01:04:24.292 Not my passion. Salima's passion. 01:04:24.294 --> 01:04:26.161 I mean, I'm just a hustler from LA. 01:04:26.163 --> 01:04:28.063 You know what's gonna happen to a Pashtun girl... 01:04:28.065 --> 01:04:30.332 that sings on national TV in this country? 01:04:30.334 --> 01:04:34.135 What her family is gonna do, her father? It's already done. 01:04:34.137 --> 01:04:37.172 Just the fact that her coming here, it's done. 01:04:37.174 --> 01:04:39.708 Look... And yet, she knows this, 01:04:39.710 --> 01:04:43.245 and here she stands in front of you just asking for a chance. 01:04:43.247 --> 01:04:45.814 Just asking for you to give her a chance. 01:04:45.816 --> 01:04:47.515 If the ulema doesn't shut us down, 01:04:47.517 --> 01:04:50.151 if the ministry of information doesn't throw me in jail, 01:04:50.153 --> 01:04:52.520 there will be another season, Mr. Lanz. 01:04:52.522 --> 01:04:56.992 Call me later. There is no later for Salima, or for you... 01:04:56.994 --> 01:04:59.094 or your country. 01:04:59.096 --> 01:05:03.865 If you let this girl sing on national TV, 01:05:03.867 --> 01:05:06.868 if you let the Afghan people see her courage... 01:05:06.870 --> 01:05:09.170 Stop. Stop! And to hear her voice... 01:05:09.172 --> 01:05:13.275 No! You do not lecture me about courage, about my country. 01:05:13.277 --> 01:05:15.010 Never. Never. 01:05:15.012 --> 01:05:16.845 Not you. Not an American. 01:05:16.847 --> 01:05:18.346 You people. You talk and talk. 01:05:18.348 --> 01:05:20.882 Have been talking at us for far too long. 01:05:20.884 --> 01:05:22.517 Courage? 01:05:22.519 --> 01:05:26.521 There are more death threats on this show than singers. 01:05:26.523 --> 01:05:27.956 Touché. 01:05:27.958 --> 01:05:29.858 Michael Jackson. 01:05:29.860 --> 01:05:33.361 Pink Floyd. The Eagles. 01:05:33.363 --> 01:05:36.531 The Bee Gees. Saturday Night Fever album. 01:05:36.533 --> 01:05:38.533 Fleetwood Mac. 01:05:38.535 --> 01:05:40.368 Miss Whitney Houston. 01:05:40.370 --> 01:05:43.538 They're all giants. Demigods. 01:05:43.540 --> 01:05:47.976 They all crushed... crushed 40 million units or more. 01:05:47.978 --> 01:05:49.878 Forty million units. 01:05:49.880 --> 01:05:53.381 Now, you work too hard for me not to say this. 01:05:53.383 --> 01:05:56.785 I consider you my new friend in Afghanistan. 01:05:56.787 --> 01:05:59.387 I want you to consider me... 01:06:00.824 --> 01:06:02.657 your new partner. 01:06:04.061 --> 01:06:07.329 Now, I have an 80-20... 01:06:07.331 --> 01:06:10.298 that's been stepped on by a preexisting 70-30. 01:06:10.300 --> 01:06:13.568 But your 15 against my 85... 01:06:13.570 --> 01:06:15.937 puts us both in a palace in the hills, my friend. 01:06:15.939 --> 01:06:17.739 And those numbers can be massaged. 01:06:17.741 --> 01:06:19.474 But the first thing... 01:06:20.844 --> 01:06:23.378 You got to just hear the girl sing. 01:06:36.093 --> 01:06:38.126 Richie, the judges want to know... 01:06:38.128 --> 01:06:39.961 if Salima will be only singing in English. 01:06:39.963 --> 01:06:41.463 That's never happened before. 01:06:41.465 --> 01:06:45.200 Well, I'm afraid so. It's a touching story. 01:06:45.202 --> 01:06:47.969 She learned from a seriously wounded American GI... 01:06:47.971 --> 01:06:49.604 who was trapped in her village. 01:06:49.606 --> 01:06:52.807 As she nursed him back to health, he taught her one word a day, 01:06:52.809 --> 01:06:55.744 until finally, the music of the West. 01:06:57.280 --> 01:07:01.783 None of that's true. I mean, apparently there was a soldier. 01:07:01.785 --> 01:07:03.985 So only Cat Stevens? 01:07:03.987 --> 01:07:05.987 And Jimmy Cliff. 01:07:05.989 --> 01:07:07.989 She does the Muslim West. That's it. 01:07:43.827 --> 01:07:45.493 What? 01:07:46.329 --> 01:07:49.230 What'd that twerp say? Nothing. 01:07:51.334 --> 01:07:54.002 I'm gonna go kill him, just in case. No, Richie. 01:07:54.004 --> 01:07:56.871 All right, when you're done, 01:07:56.873 --> 01:07:59.240 big James Brown finish. 01:07:59.242 --> 01:08:02.377 I come out, throw a hijab around you, 01:08:02.379 --> 01:08:04.079 escort you off the stage. 01:08:04.081 --> 01:08:05.580 Richie... You shrug off the shawl, 01:08:05.582 --> 01:08:08.416 stroll back to the mike, go down, a full knee drop. 01:08:08.418 --> 01:08:11.352 Nail that last verse one last time. Ignore him. You be you. 01:08:11.354 --> 01:08:15.190 You look like a lady. You sing like an angel. It'll be enough. 01:08:25.869 --> 01:08:27.802 He's very good. 01:08:35.879 --> 01:08:37.412 Okay. 01:08:37.414 --> 01:08:39.494 Now's a good time to be sick. 01:09:02.806 --> 01:09:05.140 Okay. Let 'em hear you. 01:09:15.285 --> 01:09:18.920 ♪ Now that I've lost everything to you ♪ 01:09:18.922 --> 01:09:22.323 ♪ You say you want to start something new ♪ 01:09:22.325 --> 01:09:26.094 ♪ And it's breaking my heart you're leaving ♪ 01:09:26.096 --> 01:09:27.929 ♪ Baby, I'm grieving ♪ 01:09:27.931 --> 01:09:31.599 ♪ But if you wanna leave, take good care ♪ 01:09:31.601 --> 01:09:34.936 ♪ Hope you have a lot of nice things to wear ♪ 01:09:34.938 --> 01:09:39.674 ♪ But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there ♪ 01:09:42.812 --> 01:09:47.448 ♪ Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world ♪ 01:09:49.152 --> 01:09:53.688 ♪ It's hard to get by just upon a smile ♪ 01:09:56.126 --> 01:09:59.861 ♪ Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world ♪ 01:10:02.399 --> 01:10:06.534 ♪ I'll always remember you like a child, girl ♪ 01:10:08.905 --> 01:10:12.574 ♪ You know, I've seen a lot of what the world can do ♪ 01:10:12.576 --> 01:10:15.877 ♪ And it's breakin' my heart in two ♪ 01:10:15.879 --> 01:10:19.380 ♪ Because I never wanna see you sad, girl ♪ 01:10:19.382 --> 01:10:21.883 ♪ Don't be a bad girl ♪ 01:10:21.885 --> 01:10:25.687 ♪ But if you wanna leave, take good care ♪ 01:10:25.689 --> 01:10:29.157 ♪ Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there ♪ 01:10:29.159 --> 01:10:33.962 ♪ But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware ♪ 01:10:37.334 --> 01:10:41.836 ♪ Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world ♪ 01:10:44.407 --> 01:10:47.041 ♪ It's hard to get by just upon a smile ♪ 01:10:50.580 --> 01:10:54.582 ♪ Ooh, baby, baby, it's a wild world ♪ 01:10:57.354 --> 01:11:01.589 ♪ I'll always remember you like a child, girl ♪ 01:11:03.460 --> 01:11:07.929 ♪ Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world ♪ 01:11:09.699 --> 01:11:15.370 ♪ It's hard to get by just upon a smile ♪♪ 01:11:18.642 --> 01:11:21.042 Yeah! 01:11:21.044 --> 01:11:23.278 Come on! Whoo! 01:11:25.215 --> 01:11:27.515 Yeah! Come on! 01:11:49.072 --> 01:11:50.952 How you feelin', boss? 01:11:55.412 --> 01:11:57.478 They were with her. 01:11:59.015 --> 01:12:01.749 I can feel when it's working. 01:12:01.751 --> 01:12:03.484 And she had 'em. 01:12:06.423 --> 01:12:08.756 They didn't wanna show it, but she had 'em. 01:12:10.093 --> 01:12:11.826 I mean, she was something. 01:12:15.098 --> 01:12:16.998 She was really something. 01:12:19.102 --> 01:12:22.837 ♪ What else can a poor boy do? ♪ 01:12:28.778 --> 01:12:32.113 May I hide from the wind over here? 01:13:08.485 --> 01:13:10.551 We shook hands. 01:13:10.553 --> 01:13:13.955 That's a binding contract, sacred in my world! 01:13:16.726 --> 01:13:19.761 Phone calls have been made, to Dubai! 01:13:22.999 --> 01:13:26.901 I've heard the greatest! I've heard the best! 01:13:26.903 --> 01:13:30.004 The way she sang last night, she could have won it all! 01:13:36.346 --> 01:13:39.414 We could have won it all, Dad. 01:14:09.579 --> 01:14:11.746 If she goes back to the village, Richie, 01:14:11.748 --> 01:14:14.615 I must remove her name from the ballot. 01:14:24.260 --> 01:14:26.461 What a beautiful picture. 01:14:27.497 --> 01:14:29.063 Miss, would you mind moving? 01:14:29.065 --> 01:14:31.299 I'm trying to look at the skyline here. Thank you. 01:14:31.301 --> 01:14:33.267 Asshole. 01:14:33.269 --> 01:14:35.136 What time is your flight? 01:14:38.608 --> 01:14:42.109 8:00 to Dubai. Three-hour layover. 01:14:42.111 --> 01:14:46.514 And then I got a direct flight to LA. Gotta sleep. 01:14:48.751 --> 01:14:50.485 I was going to tell you. Really. 01:14:50.487 --> 01:14:52.920 When it comes to men, I'm usually two steps ahead. 01:14:52.922 --> 01:14:55.523 It wasn't supposed to end this way. 01:14:55.525 --> 01:14:57.625 That girl has talent. 01:14:57.627 --> 01:15:01.429 She has the gift. She has the magic. I know it. 01:15:01.431 --> 01:15:04.499 How the hell good am I if I can't break a talent like that? 01:15:04.501 --> 01:15:06.467 Honey, I saw the audience. 01:15:06.469 --> 01:15:10.204 They did not dig an uncovered Pashtun girl... 01:15:10.206 --> 01:15:12.039 singing Cat Stevens in English. 01:15:13.943 --> 01:15:15.676 Sweetness and light. 01:15:16.312 --> 01:15:18.112 I watched that crowd. 01:15:18.114 --> 01:15:20.348 They wanted to go with her. 01:15:20.350 --> 01:15:21.949 They were dying to go with her. 01:15:21.951 --> 01:15:25.620 They just weren't able to go with her because it was in public. 01:15:25.622 --> 01:15:27.221 You really believe that? 01:15:27.223 --> 01:15:29.123 I sure do. 01:15:30.159 --> 01:15:31.893 So? So... 01:15:31.895 --> 01:15:35.029 daddy bear took her out of the show, and she quit. 01:15:35.031 --> 01:15:39.867 Quit? You quit. It was that easy for you to walk away. 01:15:39.869 --> 01:15:45.740 First little bump in the road, and Mr. Richie's just giving up, 01:15:45.742 --> 01:15:50.077 slinking back to his little Van Nuys world. 01:15:50.079 --> 01:15:53.147 I don't think you know quite what you're talking about. 01:15:53.149 --> 01:15:55.816 Nah. I don't know shit. 01:15:55.818 --> 01:15:58.553 I know, 'cause my daddy told me that. 01:15:59.689 --> 01:16:01.889 "Merci, just shut up. Put on a tube top. 01:16:01.891 --> 01:16:04.992 Go find yourself a rich man while you still can." 01:16:06.095 --> 01:16:10.364 And for a long time, too long, I believed him. 01:16:10.366 --> 01:16:12.400 But you know what, Richie? 01:16:12.402 --> 01:16:15.002 I am not dumb. 01:16:15.004 --> 01:16:18.539 I'm gonna walk out of here with a serious nest egg... 01:16:18.541 --> 01:16:22.276 and open my own real estate agency in Oahu. 01:16:24.380 --> 01:16:26.180 Richie Lanz, I fought to be a winner, 01:16:26.182 --> 01:16:31.586 and I do not have time for quitters and losers. 01:16:31.588 --> 01:16:34.589 I am not a loser. 01:16:34.591 --> 01:16:37.191 I am a quitter. 01:16:37.193 --> 01:16:39.627 If you really know talent, 01:16:39.629 --> 01:16:45.032 and you really know that Salima's gonna win her way into the next round, 01:16:45.034 --> 01:16:46.767 then do something. 01:16:46.769 --> 01:16:49.236 Figure something out, man. I don't know. 01:16:49.238 --> 01:16:50.938 But win, goddamn it. 01:16:52.208 --> 01:16:56.477 God, you are really crazy about me, aren't you? 01:16:56.479 --> 01:17:00.982 I am your partner with this girl, but I bet on you, Richie. 01:17:00.984 --> 01:17:03.050 Not her. You. 01:17:03.052 --> 01:17:05.953 And you better deliver me my 30%. 01:17:12.161 --> 01:17:14.095 I got an idea. 01:17:14.097 --> 01:17:16.297 Of course you do, hon. 01:17:18.735 --> 01:17:20.635 It's a million-to-one shot. 01:17:23.006 --> 01:17:27.208 But so... were the Bay City Rollers. 01:17:52.468 --> 01:17:54.935 Hey. As-salaam alaikum. 01:17:55.605 --> 01:17:57.104 Alaikum salaam. 01:18:01.210 --> 01:18:04.912 What do you say we keep Salima on the ballot? 01:18:06.215 --> 01:18:07.715 What? 01:18:07.717 --> 01:18:12.319 Well, who actually knows that she quit? I mean, officially. 01:18:12.321 --> 01:18:15.122 I know. My staff knows. 01:18:15.124 --> 01:18:17.858 Okay, but they don't know, right? 01:18:20.530 --> 01:18:22.463 On TV last night... 01:18:22.465 --> 01:18:26.467 there was her name on the ballot with a phone number to call. Yes. 01:18:26.469 --> 01:18:31.005 You know, if you haven't officially removed her from the ballot, don't. 01:18:31.007 --> 01:18:34.008 She's risked her life. Come on. 01:18:34.010 --> 01:18:37.011 It'd be great for her village, for her family, for her people, 01:18:37.013 --> 01:18:40.381 the nation, the world, women everywhere. 01:18:40.383 --> 01:18:42.750 Maybe. You know, probably. 01:18:42.752 --> 01:18:45.486 But I found this girl in a cave. 01:18:45.488 --> 01:18:49.090 And I heard her, and... 01:18:50.426 --> 01:18:52.426 I just got to know, man. 01:18:53.896 --> 01:18:56.330 I just got to know. 01:18:56.332 --> 01:18:58.399 And don't you wanna know? 01:19:03.673 --> 01:19:05.673 I already know. 01:19:05.675 --> 01:19:09.343 This conversation never happened, okay? 01:19:14.517 --> 01:19:16.517 Salima! 01:19:16.519 --> 01:19:18.252 Salima! 01:19:18.254 --> 01:19:19.420 Salima! 01:20:27.957 --> 01:20:31.158 You okay? Oh, I think I'm bleeding somewhere. 01:20:57.186 --> 01:21:00.054 I am going to brain this guy. 01:21:00.056 --> 01:21:02.690 Salima Khan! Salima Khan! 01:21:25.314 --> 01:21:26.647 Salima Khan! 01:21:26.649 --> 01:21:28.883 Salima Khan! 01:21:28.885 --> 01:21:31.085 Salima Khan! 01:21:34.724 --> 01:21:36.423 Salima Khan! 01:21:36.425 --> 01:21:39.059 Salima Khan! Salima Khan! 01:21:39.061 --> 01:21:42.963 She did it! You did it! We're in! 01:21:45.534 --> 01:21:47.034 What? 01:21:47.036 --> 01:21:50.537 Salima Khan! Salima Khan! 01:21:50.539 --> 01:21:56.076 Salima Khan! 01:22:06.722 --> 01:22:11.191 Technically, the daddy did threaten to cut off my head. 01:22:11.193 --> 01:22:15.129 That was before his lambkin made it to the final round. 01:22:15.131 --> 01:22:17.598 Hey, he will put your head on a spike. 01:22:17.600 --> 01:22:20.134 Come on. Babe, please. 01:22:21.037 --> 01:22:23.203 Face-to-face? I own him. 01:22:26.142 --> 01:22:29.376 Everything all right? I have to go to work. 01:22:29.378 --> 01:22:30.644 Work? 01:22:33.983 --> 01:22:36.050 But you said that you retired. 01:22:36.052 --> 01:22:38.552 You-You said you discovered Madonna. 01:22:40.056 --> 01:22:43.123 I don't have a choice. None. 01:22:43.125 --> 01:22:45.693 So you're just gonna have to trust me on this, Richie. 01:22:46.462 --> 01:22:48.729 Or not. 01:22:48.731 --> 01:22:53.133 What kind of warlord throws a pool party on a weekday? 01:22:53.135 --> 01:22:56.603 So... you wanna say something? 01:22:56.605 --> 01:22:59.473 - Yeah. - Okay. Say it. 01:22:59.475 --> 01:23:04.645 What is a beauty like you doing with a goof like me? 01:23:07.249 --> 01:23:09.416 You never heard of "a Merci fuck"? 01:23:16.092 --> 01:23:18.158 May I ask you one favor? 01:23:20.329 --> 01:23:21.595 Okay. 01:23:21.597 --> 01:23:25.666 Don't do the Marilyn wig thing with the scarves. 01:23:25.668 --> 01:23:28.102 Just save that for us. I feel like that was our special deal. 01:23:28.104 --> 01:23:29.870 I will see you tomorrow. 01:23:29.872 --> 01:23:33.507 I have a lot of emotion tied into it. 01:23:44.787 --> 01:23:48.522 We are returning to the picturesque Pashtun village. 01:23:48.524 --> 01:23:50.891 Although without backup. 01:23:50.893 --> 01:23:54.128 But this time for twice my initial fee. 01:23:55.831 --> 01:23:58.065 You need a hook, Mr. Bombay. 01:23:58.067 --> 01:24:01.101 There's a million mercenary memoirs out there. 01:24:02.004 --> 01:24:04.405 I'm sorry. This is what I do. 01:24:04.407 --> 01:24:07.474 Yeah. What you do is talk shit. 01:24:10.880 --> 01:24:14.648 I could get you in a bidding situation. 01:24:14.650 --> 01:24:17.010 Miss Merci. 01:24:18.020 --> 01:24:19.753 House of pain. 01:24:19.755 --> 01:24:22.656 Me and this Pashtun girl, we're in the hot tub with two guys. 01:24:22.658 --> 01:24:24.558 Oh, Lord. 01:24:24.560 --> 01:24:28.195 With Azam Ghol and this... this Nizar. 01:24:28.197 --> 01:24:30.831 All right. Just give me the gory details. 01:24:30.833 --> 01:24:32.566 Richie, shut up. Listen to me. 01:24:32.568 --> 01:24:37.004 Those bullets that you sold to Salima's father... 01:24:37.006 --> 01:24:39.106 I don't know if they're, like, bad. 01:24:39.108 --> 01:24:40.741 They won't fire. They're old. 01:24:40.743 --> 01:24:44.244 Richie, it was all a setup. Do you hear me? 01:24:44.246 --> 01:24:46.547 You delivered the bad bullets for them. 01:24:46.549 --> 01:24:49.283 They used you, Richie. You were the fucking patsy. 01:24:49.285 --> 01:24:51.852 And Nizar's gonna kill Salima. He's a crazy man. 01:24:51.854 --> 01:24:53.353 He kept screaming about it. 01:24:53.355 --> 01:24:55.222 She's, like, a whore, an infidel, whatever. 01:24:55.224 --> 01:24:58.025 And you put her on TV, Richie. 01:24:58.027 --> 01:25:00.360 They're gonna fucking kill her. They're gonna kill her father, 01:25:00.362 --> 01:25:03.697 take over the village, and you've got to do something. 01:25:03.699 --> 01:25:04.765 Do you get it? 01:25:06.702 --> 01:25:08.368 Thanks for the tip, honey. 01:25:08.370 --> 01:25:10.804 See you soon. Gotta go. 01:25:10.806 --> 01:25:13.807 Richie? Richie? 01:25:16.612 --> 01:25:18.378 Slight change of plans. 01:25:18.380 --> 01:25:20.380 Let's go back to Kabul. 01:25:20.983 --> 01:25:22.716 What? 01:25:22.718 --> 01:25:24.518 We're not gonna go get her? 01:25:28.591 --> 01:25:29.823 What? 01:25:29.825 --> 01:25:34.294 Your handshake is your word. You shook her hand. 01:25:36.065 --> 01:25:39.466 You tell Salima that your word is bond. 01:25:40.836 --> 01:25:42.469 Richie, 01:25:43.272 --> 01:25:45.305 you are her manager. 01:25:51.580 --> 01:25:53.180 Shit. 01:25:54.250 --> 01:25:57.317 Stop. What? 01:25:57.319 --> 01:25:59.453 Just stop the car. 01:25:59.455 --> 01:26:01.722 Stop. Stop! 01:26:26.282 --> 01:26:29.216 Hey! The fuck? 01:26:30.853 --> 01:26:32.419 What's happening? 01:26:52.675 --> 01:26:54.308 What the hell? 01:27:01.984 --> 01:27:04.818 I never discovered Madonna. 01:27:04.820 --> 01:27:06.620 What? 01:27:08.324 --> 01:27:12.259 I never handled a real headliner. 01:27:12.261 --> 01:27:16.597 I did have Eddie Money, but it was back when he was Eddie Mahoney. 01:27:16.599 --> 01:27:19.566 It was long before "Two Tickets To Paradise." 01:27:22.271 --> 01:27:24.338 I made a few bucks. 01:27:27.176 --> 01:27:30.410 I nailed a couple of hot publicists. 01:27:31.513 --> 01:27:35.282 But I also gave up a daughter I love. 01:27:39.088 --> 01:27:40.554 But, gentlemen, Riza is right. 01:27:40.556 --> 01:27:45.592 There are four sacred bonds in this life: 01:27:46.895 --> 01:27:48.762 A parent and child, 01:27:49.732 --> 01:27:51.598 a husband and wife, 01:27:52.434 --> 01:27:54.668 a priest and confessor... 01:27:57.306 --> 01:27:59.273 and manager-talent. 01:28:00.409 --> 01:28:02.075 What about doctor-patient? 01:28:02.077 --> 01:28:04.037 Or lawyer-client. 01:28:05.314 --> 01:28:06.880 Not sacred. 01:28:09.251 --> 01:28:12.319 Now, Salima... 01:28:15.057 --> 01:28:16.890 is my act. 01:28:16.892 --> 01:28:18.558 She's mine. 01:28:19.828 --> 01:28:22.362 I am her manager. 01:28:23.465 --> 01:28:25.632 And my act needs me. 01:28:27.670 --> 01:28:29.303 Now. 01:28:59.301 --> 01:29:01.335 "You stole my daughter." 01:29:02.438 --> 01:29:05.472 Yes. But you raised her. 01:29:05.474 --> 01:29:07.040 And you raised her... 01:29:07.042 --> 01:29:10.777 to honor and celebrate... 01:29:10.779 --> 01:29:15.515 your family, your country and your God. 01:29:17.186 --> 01:29:21.054 And if you didn't truly believe that, wouldn't she be dead by now? 01:29:25.461 --> 01:29:27.928 Hang on. It gets worse. 01:29:56.091 --> 01:29:57.724 Understandable. 01:29:58.994 --> 01:30:00.761 We are your only chance. 01:30:02.164 --> 01:30:04.598 "We?" Yeah. 01:30:04.600 --> 01:30:07.968 There is no "we." I'm done with you. 01:30:09.505 --> 01:30:11.438 That's enough. 01:30:15.377 --> 01:30:18.745 When were you going to tell me? Was it a big surprise or something? 01:30:18.747 --> 01:30:21.114 Something you were gonna spring on me? 01:30:21.116 --> 01:30:22.816 It just hit me. 01:30:24.186 --> 01:30:26.887 This is your killer hook. 01:30:26.889 --> 01:30:32.526 This is your final chapter of your best-selling book, right here. 01:30:32.528 --> 01:30:36.596 Oh, my book. My book. You mean my posthumous book. 01:30:36.598 --> 01:30:38.865 The one that you're gonna make all the money off of... 01:30:38.867 --> 01:30:41.735 after these guys shoot me about a thousand times? 01:30:41.737 --> 01:30:44.137 - There is no deal, Hollywood. - All right. All right. 01:30:44.139 --> 01:30:45.739 I never do this. 01:30:45.741 --> 01:30:48.975 If you ever tell anyone I did this, I'll deny it. 01:30:48.977 --> 01:30:50.944 But I'm gonna cut my fee. 01:30:50.946 --> 01:30:53.980 There'll be no Richie 35 on this one. 01:30:53.982 --> 01:30:58.151 There'll be Richie 15, and we're still both gonna do great. 01:30:58.153 --> 01:31:02.456 Because this is golden. 01:31:04.493 --> 01:31:08.161 Brian, you don't wanna be the guy... 01:31:09.431 --> 01:31:12.165 that left the Alamo. 01:31:18.574 --> 01:31:20.740 You are a piece of work. 01:31:21.910 --> 01:31:23.477 Thank you. 01:31:23.479 --> 01:31:27.180 My posthumous book... I wonder what you'll call it. 01:31:27.182 --> 01:31:29.483 Chief, this is for you. 01:31:31.186 --> 01:31:35.255 In that truck is all the ammunition you will ever need. 01:31:35.257 --> 01:31:39.025 And my bullets work. 01:31:39.027 --> 01:31:43.630 Now come on back here with me. 01:31:45.634 --> 01:31:49.102 That's for you. Brand new. There you go. 01:31:49.104 --> 01:31:50.837 Careful with that. 01:32:41.857 --> 01:32:45.325 Thanks for not killing me. 01:32:47.029 --> 01:32:50.630 What did he say? The day is not over yet. 01:32:52.568 --> 01:32:54.134 Pretty good. 01:33:13.188 --> 01:33:14.788 Richie. 01:33:16.024 --> 01:33:17.624 Hi. 01:33:22.798 --> 01:33:26.900 In all the excitement, I forgot to congratulate you. 01:33:26.902 --> 01:33:29.269 You won. 01:33:29.271 --> 01:33:31.871 I told you. 01:33:31.873 --> 01:33:34.074 Yeah. 01:33:34.076 --> 01:33:36.209 And that was nothing. 01:33:36.211 --> 01:33:39.813 I had a killer arrangement for the finals. 01:33:39.815 --> 01:33:42.749 Strings. Gospel choir. 01:33:42.751 --> 01:33:45.719 Wall of sound. Huge. 01:33:45.721 --> 01:33:47.954 You would have won in a walk. 01:33:53.762 --> 01:33:59.065 Salima, honey, you were the best I ever heard. 01:34:02.270 --> 01:34:03.970 You saw it all. 01:34:05.007 --> 01:34:09.009 Well... Except for this part. 01:34:09.011 --> 01:34:14.180 Richie, this, right now... This will be the best part. 01:34:14.750 --> 01:34:16.349 The dying part? 01:34:16.351 --> 01:34:21.121 Not the dying part. The living. 01:34:21.123 --> 01:34:23.757 You... You folks from the mystic East... 01:34:23.759 --> 01:34:28.194 have a much better handle on the whole karma, life/death thing. 01:34:29.097 --> 01:34:32.098 Rumi writes, 01:34:32.100 --> 01:34:36.169 "There's a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled." 01:34:36.171 --> 01:34:41.174 There's a void in your soul, ready to be filled. 01:34:41.810 --> 01:34:43.943 "You feel it, don't you?" 01:34:43.945 --> 01:34:47.447 Richie. You will. 01:34:47.449 --> 01:34:49.115 I... 01:34:49.117 --> 01:34:52.252 I promise you will feel it. 01:35:14.509 --> 01:35:17.210 ♪ Mama, take this badge off of me ♪ 01:35:21.483 --> 01:35:25.051 ♪ I can't use it anymore ♪ 01:35:28.156 --> 01:35:31.991 ♪ It's getting dark, too dark to see ♪ 01:35:35.030 --> 01:35:39.099 ♪ I feel I'm knocking on heaven's door ♪ 01:35:42.070 --> 01:35:46.072 ♪ Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door ♪ 01:35:48.944 --> 01:35:53.079 ♪ Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door ♪ 01:35:56.017 --> 01:36:00.086 ♪ Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door ♪ 01:36:02.924 --> 01:36:06.793 ♪ Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door ♪♪ 01:36:11.133 --> 01:36:12.499 This is nuts! 01:36:14.936 --> 01:36:18.371 I'm not a fighter. I'm a deal maker. 01:36:18.373 --> 01:36:20.874 I'm gonna go make a deal. 01:36:20.876 --> 01:36:22.942 You just gotta love this guy. 01:36:27.883 --> 01:36:31.117 These guys have no idea what they're up against. 01:36:32.287 --> 01:36:34.220 Let me do the talking. 01:36:35.257 --> 01:36:36.956 Knock yourself out. 01:36:48.436 --> 01:36:51.404 "What are you doing?" 01:36:51.406 --> 01:36:54.607 I'm representing. I'm here to negotiate. 01:36:54.609 --> 01:36:57.477 And you? 01:36:58.814 --> 01:37:02.482 "We are here to kill all unbelievers and the whore who sings." 01:37:05.420 --> 01:37:08.021 Okay. I'm hearing you. 01:37:08.023 --> 01:37:11.491 More of a deal breaker than a negotiation. 01:37:11.493 --> 01:37:15.829 Let's get serious. What's it gonna take for all of this to go away? 01:37:19.100 --> 01:37:21.701 "Kill him. Kill this fool now." 01:37:21.703 --> 01:37:27.807 Okay. Very quickly. A key is to know what the other guy wants. 01:37:27.809 --> 01:37:32.445 You are a warlord. You want war, I suppose. 01:37:32.447 --> 01:37:35.014 Money. Power. Maybe opium. 01:37:35.016 --> 01:37:37.617 And in an ideal world... 01:37:37.619 --> 01:37:43.389 you'd like CIA and Taliban to both pay you to sell out your own country. 01:37:43.391 --> 01:37:44.958 You're a warlord. 01:37:59.908 --> 01:38:03.009 Stand down! Stand down! 01:38:07.482 --> 01:38:10.483 Anybody else wanna see how real bullets work? 01:38:10.485 --> 01:38:11.985 Richie, you're all right. 01:38:11.987 --> 01:38:14.587 It's a flesh wound. Walk it off. Let's go. 01:38:22.030 --> 01:38:24.931 ♪ Now I've been happy lately ♪ 01:38:24.933 --> 01:38:28.067 ♪ Thinking about the good things to come ♪ 01:38:28.069 --> 01:38:31.337 ♪ And I believe it could be ♪ 01:38:31.339 --> 01:38:33.706 ♪ Something good has begun ♪ 01:38:33.708 --> 01:38:37.510 ♪ Oh, I've been smiling lately ♪ 01:38:37.512 --> 01:38:40.013 ♪ Dreaming about the world as one ♪ 01:38:40.015 --> 01:38:43.349 ♪ And I believe it could be ♪ 01:38:43.351 --> 01:38:46.052 ♪ Someday it's going to come ♪ 01:38:46.054 --> 01:38:49.355 ♪ Cause out on the edge of darkness ♪ 01:38:49.357 --> 01:38:51.457 ♪ There rides a peace train ♪ 01:38:51.459 --> 01:38:55.762 ♪ Oh, peace train, take this country ♪ 01:38:55.764 --> 01:38:58.031 ♪ Come take me home again ♪ 01:38:58.033 --> 01:39:01.200 ♪ Now I've been smiling lately ♪ 01:39:01.202 --> 01:39:04.103 ♪ Thinking about the good things to come ♪ 01:39:04.105 --> 01:39:07.707 ♪ And I believe it could be ♪ 01:39:07.709 --> 01:39:10.209 ♪ Something good has begun ♪ 01:39:10.211 --> 01:39:13.212 ♪ Oh, peace train sounding louder ♪ 01:39:13.214 --> 01:39:16.115 ♪ Glide on the peace train ♪ 01:39:16.117 --> 01:39:19.385 ♪ Oh-ah-ay-ah-oh-ah ♪ 01:39:19.387 --> 01:39:21.888 ♪ Come on now, peace train ♪ 01:39:21.890 --> 01:39:25.258 ♪ Yes, peace train, holy roller ♪ 01:39:25.260 --> 01:39:28.661 ♪ Everyone jump up on the peace train ♪ 01:39:28.663 --> 01:39:31.264 ♪ Oh-ah-ay-ah-oh-ah ♪ 01:39:31.266 --> 01:39:34.233 ♪ Come on now, peace train ♪ 01:39:34.235 --> 01:39:37.403 ♪ Come and join the living ♪ 01:39:37.405 --> 01:39:40.139 ♪ It's not so far from you ♪ 01:39:40.141 --> 01:39:43.643 ♪ And it's getting nearer ♪ 01:39:43.645 --> 01:39:46.346 ♪ Soon it will all be true ♪ 01:39:46.348 --> 01:39:49.248 ♪ Peace train sounding louder ♪ 01:39:49.250 --> 01:39:52.318 ♪ Glide on the peace train ♪ 01:39:52.320 --> 01:39:55.321 ♪ Oh-ah-ay-ah-oh-ah ♪ 01:39:55.323 --> 01:39:57.557 ♪ Come on now, peace train ♪ 01:39:58.326 --> 01:40:01.361 ♪ I've been crying lately ♪ 01:40:01.363 --> 01:40:04.297 ♪ Thinking about the world as it is ♪ 01:40:04.299 --> 01:40:07.767 ♪ Why must we go on hating? ♪ 01:40:07.769 --> 01:40:09.702 ♪ Why can't we live in bliss? ♪ 01:40:09.704 --> 01:40:13.706 ♪ 'Cause out on the edge of darkness ♪ 01:40:13.708 --> 01:40:16.142 ♪ There rides a peace train ♪ 01:40:16.144 --> 01:40:19.946 ♪ Oh, peace train, take this country ♪ 01:40:19.948 --> 01:40:22.281 ♪ Come take me home again ♪ 01:40:22.283 --> 01:40:25.318 ♪ Peace train, holy roller ♪ 01:40:25.320 --> 01:40:28.287 ♪ Everyone jump up on the peace train ♪ 01:40:28.289 --> 01:40:31.457 ♪ Oh-ah-ay-ah-oh-ah ♪ 01:40:31.459 --> 01:40:33.459 ♪ Come on now, peace train ♪ 01:40:34.295 --> 01:40:37.363 ♪ Oh-ah-ay-ah-oh-ah ♪ 01:40:37.365 --> 01:40:44.704 ♪ Come on, come on, peace train ♪♪ 01:40:45.974 --> 01:40:48.641 ♪ Peace train, holy roller ♪ 01:40:48.643 --> 01:40:51.711 ♪ Everyone jump up on the peace train ♪ 01:40:51.713 --> 01:40:54.514 ♪ Hoo-ah-eeh-ah-hoo-ah ♪ 01:40:54.516 --> 01:40:57.483 ♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪ 01:40:57.485 --> 01:41:01.587 ♪ Let's come on, peace train, oh ♪ 01:41:08.329 --> 01:41:11.497 ♪ Hoo-ah-eeh-ah-hoo-ah ♪ 01:41:11.499 --> 01:41:14.567 ♪ Come on, peace train The peace train ♪ 01:41:20.075 --> 01:41:23.409 ♪ Come on, peace train ♪♪ 01:41:49.404 --> 01:41:52.538 No. No, I don't, uh... Thank you. 01:41:52.540 --> 01:41:56.075 I don't want string. I don't use string. Okay? 01:41:56.077 --> 01:41:58.744 Do I look like... Do I look like I use string? 01:41:58.746 --> 01:42:02.048 No, I want this thing here. I want the animal. Okay? 01:42:02.050 --> 01:42:03.950 Come on. For my kid. For my girl. 01:42:03.952 --> 01:42:05.785 Let's take a look. 01:42:05.787 --> 01:42:07.386 Come on. 01:42:08.556 --> 01:42:11.424 All right, what you got to have for this, five bucks? 01:42:11.426 --> 01:42:13.426 It's made in Taiwan. You didn't make this. 01:42:13.428 --> 01:42:16.429 You didn't make this. This was made by Chinese people in Taiwan. 01:42:16.431 --> 01:42:18.164 Five bucks good? We good? 01:42:20.635 --> 01:42:22.401 If you're saying 10 bucks, I'm sorry. 01:42:22.403 --> 01:42:24.270 'Cause I only got five bucks. It's all I got. 01:42:24.272 --> 01:42:25.972 You can't do it for five? 01:42:25.974 --> 01:42:27.573 Here, man, take it. 01:42:27.575 --> 01:42:29.242 I'll find somewhere else for five, I promise you. 01:42:29.244 --> 01:42:32.011 It's what I got. It's all I got. 01:42:32.013 --> 01:42:35.314 Thank you so much. Thanks. Appreciate it. 01:42:35.316 --> 01:42:38.618 That's great. That'll be... All right, give me some string. 01:42:38.620 --> 01:42:41.654 Give me some... Here, I found five more bucks. Give me... 01:42:47.362 --> 01:42:50.596 Well, that's ugly. Give me... Give me that blue one. 01:42:52.700 --> 01:42:54.934 Which one... I don't need all of this. 01:42:54.936 --> 01:42:56.536 Which one's better? This one? 01:42:56.538 --> 01:42:58.538 Give me... That one's clean. 01:43:00.942 --> 01:43:04.644 Now it's mixed in there. That's the color. Which one's better, this or this? 01:43:04.646 --> 01:43:06.112 Which one? 01:43:06.114 --> 01:43:08.614 I'm taking that one. Between these two. 01:43:08.616 --> 01:43:11.284 Ah. Ah. 01:43:11.286 --> 01:43:12.785 I just wanna take one of these. 01:43:12.787 --> 01:43:15.121 I want two of these. This one or this one? 01:43:15.123 --> 01:43:16.956 This one? 01:43:16.958 --> 01:43:18.791 I got that one. Here. 01:43:18.793 --> 01:43:21.873 This one or this one? 01:43:25.133 --> 01:43:26.732 I'm gonna decide on my own. 01:43:26.734 --> 01:43:29.168 I've already put this one in my mouth. I'm keeping that one. 01:43:29.170 --> 01:43:32.505 And that reminds me of someone, and this is brand new and mysterious. 01:43:32.507 --> 01:43:34.340 So you keep that one. We'll call it square. 01:43:34.342 --> 01:43:36.742 Oh. 01:43:37.879 --> 01:43:39.545 Okay. 01:43:39.569 --> 01:43:55.569 Hope it helped -> bozxphd