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WEBVTT - https://subtitletools.com 00:01:28.333 --> 00:01:31.999 It was destiny that brought the great Sherlock Holmes into my life 00:01:32.000 --> 00:01:39.999 that fateful day I met the finest most compassionate most beautiful man I would ever have the honor to know. 00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:42.895 You look radiant this morning my darling. 00:01:42.896 --> 00:01:47.332 Green and proud. Not a blemish on your perfect skin. 00:01:47.333 --> 00:01:50.999 Oh you beautiful green succulent bitch. 00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:54.332 I first met him after my return from the Afghan war. 00:01:54.333 --> 00:01:57.999 The war had left me with a broken leg, and a broken spirit. 00:01:58.000 --> 00:01:59.666 I was in dire straits. 00:01:59.667 --> 00:02:03.554 Do you like this? Hmm? 00:02:03.555 --> 00:02:08.887 I was going to end it all, but that terrible moment became the greatest of my life. 00:02:08.888 --> 00:02:12.999 You unforgiving turd. He saw I was about to jump to my death, 00:02:13.000 --> 00:02:16.999 and he immediately tried to stop me. Get out of the way! I''m going to jump! 00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:22.555 Jump... into that garden, over there. Are you telling me not to jump? 00:02:22.556 --> 00:02:26.777 There are many other ways you could kill yourself. We had instant connection 00:02:26.778 --> 00:02:31.554 This man cares about me. A little cup of poison, dead. 00:02:31.555 --> 00:02:34.555 He gave me a reason to live. We'll go and have a drink. 00:02:34.556 --> 00:02:41.000 I will get my gun and fill your heart... full of bullets. 00:02:41.001 --> 00:02:45.640 Yes! Right in the heart. It's crazy, but I love you too! 00:02:45.641 --> 00:02:50.222 This man of great compassion. I'm losing patience with you. 00:02:50.223 --> 00:02:55.999 You're right! Life really is worth living! 00:02:56.000 --> 00:02:59.002 No no no no! 00:02:59.003 --> 00:03:00.003 No. 00:03:01.333 --> 00:03:06.004 You saved me. I'm alive! Your giant vegetable saved me. 00:03:06.005 --> 00:03:12.000 Thank you my new friend! I'm in your debt forever! 00:03:12.001 --> 00:03:17.600 Oh God. It has been my honor ever since. 00:03:17.601 --> 00:03:24.941 John Watson. Yes, Hi. Sherlock Holmes. 00:03:56.000 --> 00:03:58.644 Extra! Extra! Read all about it! 00:03:58.645 --> 00:04:00.889 Moriarty's crime spree over! 00:04:00.890 --> 00:04:04.615 Professor James Moriarty faces justice today! 00:04:04.616 --> 00:04:07.221 The Napoleon of crime on trial! 00:04:07.222 --> 00:04:11.388 - Greatest criminal in the empire! - That's fake news. 00:04:11.389 --> 00:04:13.954 Professor James Moriarty. 00:04:13.955 --> 00:04:16.679 You have been the organizer of half that is evil 00:04:16.680 --> 00:04:21.007 and all that goes undetected in this great city. 00:04:21.008 --> 00:04:25.254 Today, you are charged with murder in the first degree, 00:04:25.255 --> 00:04:29.262 but all the witnesses have died. 00:04:29.263 --> 00:04:37.318 Without said witnesses, I have no choice but to set you free. 00:04:37.319 --> 00:04:39.161 Inspector Lestrade, 00:04:39.162 --> 00:04:45.453 you simply must take better care of your witnesses. 00:04:45.454 --> 00:04:47.136 Mark my words, 00:04:47.137 --> 00:04:49.701 Sherlock Holmes is on his way and, with him, 00:04:49.702 --> 00:04:52.747 the evidence that will damn you to the noose. 00:04:52.748 --> 00:04:56.675 Then we should all pray he arrives soon, for, on the strike of noon, 00:04:56.676 --> 00:04:59.119 I shall have to release this menace. 00:04:59.120 --> 00:05:00.683 Sherlock will be here. 00:05:00.684 --> 00:05:10.704 He is about to burst through those doors right now. 00:05:11.543 --> 00:05:14.067 Stop this trial at once! 00:05:14.068 --> 00:05:16.152 I, Sherlock Holmes, 00:05:16.153 --> 00:05:19.639 have solved the case of Professor James Moriarty. 00:05:19.640 --> 00:05:22.323 Wonderful. Wonderful, Holmes. 00:05:22.324 --> 00:05:25.410 A dramatic entrance worthy of your greatest achievement. 00:05:25.411 --> 00:05:28.255 Watson, did you notice my emphasis 00:05:28.256 --> 00:05:30.539 on "Professor James Moriarty"? 00:05:30.540 --> 00:05:31.982 Yes, with the finger, yes. 00:05:31.983 --> 00:05:33.785 Much better than the hand. Yes. 00:05:33.786 --> 00:05:36.710 Instead of the karate chop, I went to the index finger. 00:05:36.711 --> 00:05:38.474 Yes, it's the best one yet. 00:05:38.475 --> 00:05:41.239 This is the moment everyone's been waiting for. Right here. 00:05:41.240 --> 00:05:44.726 Yes, and they're literally waiting for it now. 00:05:44.727 --> 00:05:46.369 Oh, yes. You must get dressed. 00:05:46.370 --> 00:05:47.731 Yes? Very well. 00:05:47.732 --> 00:05:49.455 There we are. There are your things. 00:05:49.456 --> 00:05:51.339 Remember, trial of the century. Yes. 00:05:51.340 --> 00:05:53.423 We have but... Oh, let's see now. 00:05:53.424 --> 00:05:55.507 Just 16 minutes left, Holmes. 00:05:55.508 --> 00:05:58.352 Speed is of the essence. - Nearly there? - Nearly there. 00:05:58.353 --> 00:06:02.279 A sniff of morning cocaine always helps the brain. Ah! 00:06:02.280 --> 00:06:03.602 Come now, Sherlock. 00:06:03.603 --> 00:06:05.526 We mustn't let that trial conclude. 00:06:05.527 --> 00:06:09.333 For this occasion, I have selected a new hat. 00:06:09.334 --> 00:06:12.820 From now on, when people utter the name "Sherlock Holmes," 00:06:12.821 --> 00:06:17.301 they will picture this. 00:06:18.631 --> 00:06:21.275 Brilliant. Can we go? 00:06:21.276 --> 00:06:23.720 Your furrowed brow betrays your lying lips. 00:06:23.721 --> 00:06:25.043 Oh, no. 00:06:25.044 --> 00:06:26.445 Not to worry. 00:06:26.446 --> 00:06:27.727 Ta-da! 00:06:27.728 --> 00:06:29.732 Hey, there, cowboy. 00:06:29.733 --> 00:06:31.656 That's the one. That's the one. Bang, bang. 00:06:31.657 --> 00:06:33.258 We should leave, yes? 00:06:33.259 --> 00:06:35.062 Oh! Aye, aye. 00:06:35.063 --> 00:06:36.785 I say, I like that one very much. 00:06:36.786 --> 00:06:39.350 You don't want to be late, Mr. Holmes. 00:06:39.351 --> 00:06:42.836 Mrs. Hudson, what do you think of this one? 00:06:42.837 --> 00:06:46.683 Me? I'm just a housekeeper from the Glasgow slums. 00:06:46.684 --> 00:06:50.931 The likes of me telling the likes of you what to put on his noggin? 00:06:50.932 --> 00:06:52.334 Good point. 00:06:52.335 --> 00:06:57.745 Back to your monkey work, Hudson. 00:06:57.746 --> 00:07:00.029 - Perfect, right? - May I show you a few more hats? 00:07:00.030 --> 00:07:01.953 - No! - Someone's left a wee box. 00:07:01.954 --> 00:07:03.315 What are you going on about? 00:07:03.316 --> 00:07:07.524 I never even heard anyone knocking. Did you hear anything? 00:07:07.525 --> 00:07:10.575 How very queer. 00:07:11.372 --> 00:07:14.657 - Queerer and queerer. - Hmm. 00:07:14.658 --> 00:07:16.598 Very odd. 00:07:18.144 --> 00:07:19.666 Watson, no. 00:07:19.667 --> 00:07:20.989 Holmes, why are you getting so exercised? 00:07:20.990 --> 00:07:23.193 It's merely an empty box. 00:07:23.194 --> 00:07:26.078 Watson, this is sent from Moriarty. 00:07:26.079 --> 00:07:27.761 He means to kill us. 00:07:27.762 --> 00:07:29.232 Listen. 00:07:31.209 --> 00:07:32.932 Shut that window. 00:07:32.933 --> 00:07:35.096 If this winged menace escapes, it may cause a pandemic. 00:07:35.097 --> 00:07:36.619 A killer mosquito? 00:07:36.620 --> 00:07:38.622 The insect is infected with African plague. 00:07:38.623 --> 00:07:41.067 One bite means death. 00:07:41.068 --> 00:07:44.313 Now, dance a Dutch jig. 00:07:44.314 --> 00:07:45.934 ♪ ♪ 00:07:46.960 --> 00:07:50.806 You don't have to ask me twice to do a Dutch jig, but why? 00:07:50.807 --> 00:07:53.651 Your body heat will attract him to dine on your flesh. 00:07:53.652 --> 00:07:54.653 Brilliant. 00:07:54.654 --> 00:07:57.418 Hold! Don't move. 00:07:57.419 --> 00:07:59.101 Where is it? Right there. 00:07:59.102 --> 00:08:00.624 There. Right there on your forehead. 00:08:00.625 --> 00:08:04.150 Kill it, Holmes. I'm going to kill it. 00:08:04.151 --> 00:08:05.954 There it is. Where? 00:08:05.955 --> 00:08:09.481 Hold, hold. No, no. Where? 00:08:09.482 --> 00:08:11.084 No, hold, hold. 00:08:11.085 --> 00:08:13.815 Is it biting? 00:08:14.091 --> 00:08:16.341 I hear it. 00:08:18.619 --> 00:08:20.709 I see it. 00:08:21.946 --> 00:08:23.468 The tip! 00:08:23.469 --> 00:08:30.629 Don't worry, boys. I brought a net. 00:08:34.810 --> 00:08:38.015 It is now seven minutes before noon. 00:08:38.016 --> 00:08:41.181 Upon the lowering of my gavel, 00:08:41.182 --> 00:08:43.786 the charges shall be dismissed. 00:08:43.787 --> 00:08:46.751 I shall raise my gavel in the air 00:08:46.752 --> 00:08:50.238 that so... and then bring it down 00:08:50.239 --> 00:08:54.407 briskly, making a satisfying bang, 00:08:54.408 --> 00:09:02.688 at which point the prisoner shall go free. 00:09:11.640 --> 00:09:13.403 Angle of approach. 00:09:13.404 --> 00:09:15.406 Compensate for warp in floor. 00:09:15.407 --> 00:09:18.131 Count for resistance due to dust motes. 00:09:18.132 --> 00:09:19.815 Probable outcome, 00:09:19.816 --> 00:09:21.498 termination of mosquito. 00:09:21.499 --> 00:09:24.183 Integrity of bee habitat maintained. 00:09:24.184 --> 00:09:28.984 Deadly bee swarm averted. 00:09:31.238 --> 00:09:33.441 The mosquito's vanquished. 00:09:33.442 --> 00:09:35.123 Well done, Holmes. 00:09:35.124 --> 00:09:43.419 It's a simple matter of geometry, entomology and physics. 00:09:43.420 --> 00:09:46.626 Oh, my God! Oh, shit. 00:09:46.627 --> 00:09:50.433 Watson! Stop panicking! We can disable the queen. 00:09:50.434 --> 00:09:56.494 It's making them angry, Holmes! 00:09:58.850 --> 00:10:00.692 Oh, my God. What are they doing? 00:10:00.693 --> 00:10:02.255 They're turning this way! 00:10:02.256 --> 00:10:06.865 Just do anything! Help me! 00:10:06.866 --> 00:10:08.106 It's working! 00:10:08.107 --> 00:10:09.750 It's not working! 00:10:09.751 --> 00:10:13.076 Get it off! It's not working! 00:10:13.077 --> 00:10:15.119 Holmes, we retreat. 00:10:15.120 --> 00:10:22.280 Run for safety. I'll lead them away. 00:10:39.607 --> 00:10:42.817 Stop this trial! 00:10:50.508 --> 00:10:54.395 May I present to you the greatest detective of all time, 00:10:54.396 --> 00:10:58.202 solver of the unsolvable, untier of Gordian knots, 00:10:58.203 --> 00:11:05.055 bester of conundrums, the great Sherlock Holmes. 00:11:05.056 --> 00:11:07.780 Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 00:11:07.781 --> 00:11:10.665 Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 00:11:10.666 --> 00:11:15.456 Stop this trial at once! 00:11:18.601 --> 00:11:21.045 Thank goodness you've arrived, Mr. Holmes. 00:11:21.046 --> 00:11:24.572 Now, what startling new evidence do you have for the court? 00:11:24.573 --> 00:11:27.457 I am the evidence. 00:11:27.458 --> 00:11:30.664 Inspector Lestrade, called upon me for assistance, 00:11:30.665 --> 00:11:34.671 for he lacked the mental capacity to solve it himself. 00:11:34.672 --> 00:11:37.276 The inspector is a handsome man, 00:11:37.277 --> 00:11:39.680 ruddy, strapping. 00:11:39.681 --> 00:11:42.085 Legs like oaken trunks, 00:11:42.086 --> 00:11:43.928 teeth like ivory, 00:11:43.929 --> 00:11:46.814 and yet his wife is of hideous visage. 00:11:46.815 --> 00:11:48.617 Terrible to look upon. 00:11:48.618 --> 00:11:51.023 They say her gaze curdles milk. 00:11:51.024 --> 00:11:53.947 Who says that? Face like a pig's rectum. 00:11:53.948 --> 00:11:57.554 Jeffrey... Holmes! Close those pillowy lips! 00:11:57.555 --> 00:11:59.358 I am under oath! 00:11:59.359 --> 00:12:03.566 Actually, you're not under oath. Not under yours! 00:12:03.567 --> 00:12:06.371 Under my own sworn duty, as a detective. 00:12:06.372 --> 00:12:10.499 I cannot allow my brain to be clouded with feelings! 00:12:10.500 --> 00:12:13.224 Now... I recall the day vividly. 00:12:13.225 --> 00:12:15.629 I arrived at the crime scene alone. 00:12:15.630 --> 00:12:20.438 Completely and utterly alone. 00:12:20.439 --> 00:12:24.245 I meticulously inspected every nook and cranny of that study, 00:12:24.246 --> 00:12:34.384 hunting for clues, much like a panther stalks its prey. 00:12:34.385 --> 00:12:36.388 And as I stood there, 00:12:36.389 --> 00:12:39.795 I began to employ a groundbreaking new technique. 00:12:39.796 --> 00:12:41.558 Right there. 00:12:41.559 --> 00:12:44.283 Behold! Fingerprints. 00:12:44.284 --> 00:12:48.932 Imagine a print being taken from a finger. 00:12:48.933 --> 00:12:50.215 I love it. 00:12:50.216 --> 00:12:56.507 How do these prove Moriarty's guilt? 00:12:56.508 --> 00:12:57.978 Watson. 00:12:58.632 --> 00:13:01.676 Moriarty would never leave a trail of clues, 00:13:01.677 --> 00:13:03.480 which begs the question, 00:13:03.481 --> 00:13:05.283 why was this crime scene 00:13:05.284 --> 00:13:09.130 so uncharacteristically littered with fingerprints? 00:13:09.131 --> 00:13:10.854 Good work, Watson. 00:13:10.855 --> 00:13:12.176 Thank you. I just thought of what you might have done. 00:13:12.177 --> 00:13:14.140 I compared these prints 00:13:14.141 --> 00:13:17.346 to those of the man standing before you. 00:13:17.347 --> 00:13:18.949 A perfect match. 00:13:18.950 --> 00:13:22.356 Unequivocal proof that this man 00:13:22.357 --> 00:13:24.841 - is innocent. - What? 00:13:24.842 --> 00:13:26.484 But if those are Moriarty's prints, 00:13:26.485 --> 00:13:28.568 then Moriarty is the murderer. 00:13:28.569 --> 00:13:31.092 This man is not Moriarty. 00:13:31.093 --> 00:13:32.895 He sure looks like Moriarty. 00:13:32.896 --> 00:13:36.863 He's an impostor. His name is Jacob Musgrave. 00:13:36.864 --> 00:13:39.308 A complete look-alike, a doppelganger. 00:13:39.309 --> 00:13:43.436 A patsy framed to hang for Moriarty's crimes, 00:13:43.437 --> 00:13:46.322 so that I may abandon my pursuit of him 00:13:46.323 --> 00:13:49.126 and he can begin life anew in America. 00:13:49.127 --> 00:13:52.894 Why would an innocent man agree to hang for Moriarty's crimes? 00:13:52.895 --> 00:13:56.500 Elementary. This man is terminally ill. 00:13:56.501 --> 00:13:59.346 Look at him. His pallid complexion. 00:13:59.347 --> 00:14:01.671 The palsy in his left hand. 00:14:01.672 --> 00:14:03.514 Wait. I know. He's an onanist. 00:14:03.515 --> 00:14:06.760 Yes, of the most enthusiastic kind. 00:14:06.761 --> 00:14:08.283 What's an onanist? 00:14:08.284 --> 00:14:10.087 He... Let's see. 00:14:10.088 --> 00:14:14.398 He pours his own tea. 00:14:14.456 --> 00:14:18.463 He likes to create his own sauce. 00:14:18.464 --> 00:14:22.069 - He is a saucier. - Huh? 00:14:22.070 --> 00:14:25.676 And the name of his restaurant is Crotch Kitchen. 00:14:25.677 --> 00:14:28.962 On a daily basis, he creams his own eclair. 00:14:28.963 --> 00:14:33.171 He is Romeo and Juliet. 00:14:33.172 --> 00:14:35.254 That should do it. 00:14:35.255 --> 00:14:38.019 - This here. - Oh, he's a wanker. 00:14:38.020 --> 00:14:39.182 Thank you. 00:14:39.183 --> 00:14:41.025 Sorry, ladies. 00:14:41.026 --> 00:14:44.512 This chap here had nothing to lose by being executed. 00:14:44.513 --> 00:14:48.199 He was literally dying by his own hand. 00:14:48.200 --> 00:14:49.802 It causes death, you see. 00:14:49.803 --> 00:14:53.048 The infallible Sherlock Holmes has indeed spoken. 00:14:53.049 --> 00:14:56.655 In light of his testimony, I order the release of the suspect. 00:14:56.656 --> 00:15:02.426 What? This is an outrage! Do not let this murderer free. 00:15:02.427 --> 00:15:05.832 Bang, bang, bang! Court is adjourned. 00:15:05.833 --> 00:15:11.443 Sherlock Holmes has done it again! 00:15:11.444 --> 00:15:14.088 Why are you cheering? 00:15:14.089 --> 00:15:15.772 Sherlock! 00:15:15.773 --> 00:15:18.938 Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock! 00:15:18.939 --> 00:15:20.461 That couldn't have gone better. 00:15:20.462 --> 00:15:21.863 It couldn't have. 00:15:21.864 --> 00:15:23.306 And I tell you, that case was rather... 00:15:23.307 --> 00:15:26.191 It took us three years to catch him. 00:15:26.192 --> 00:15:28.876 If we release him now, we may never find him again. 00:15:28.877 --> 00:15:32.323 Put aside your ego and admit I am right. 00:15:32.324 --> 00:15:36.410 I am afraid Moriarty's long gone to America. 00:15:36.411 --> 00:15:39.376 Whatever crimes Moriarty commits from now on 00:15:39.377 --> 00:15:42.897 are on your head. 00:15:42.944 --> 00:15:45.067 I quite like seeing Lestrade upset. 00:15:45.068 --> 00:15:48.428 Yeah. I do, too. 00:15:51.521 --> 00:15:55.166 Professor James Moriarty fled to the Americas 00:15:55.167 --> 00:16:02.187 and would never darken England again. 00:16:04.785 --> 00:16:08.111 What a fine ending to my fine Luc Au Revoir adventures 00:16:08.112 --> 00:16:24.912 All there is left to do now is to let the ink dry on this one copy of my manuscript. 00:16:30.434 --> 00:16:31.904 Holmes. 00:16:32.558 --> 00:16:34.321 Are you upset? 00:16:34.322 --> 00:16:36.565 It's just that Moriarty was the whetstone 00:16:36.566 --> 00:16:38.809 upon which I sharpened my mental blade. 00:16:38.810 --> 00:16:43.258 With him gone, not there to challenge me, why go on? 00:16:43.259 --> 00:16:46.103 Instead, I shall occupy my great, great mind 00:16:46.104 --> 00:16:48.467 with nutritional science. 00:16:48.468 --> 00:16:49.990 My research suggests 00:16:49.991 --> 00:16:52.756 that the sulfurous compounds of the common onion 00:16:52.757 --> 00:16:55.120 can increase your red blood cells. 00:16:55.121 --> 00:16:58.246 Vital for human health. 00:16:58.247 --> 00:17:03.937 Just bite it like an apple, eh? Mmm-hmm. 00:17:03.938 --> 00:17:09.107 Definitely takes four or five bites. 00:17:09.108 --> 00:17:10.870 Are we meant to eat the whole thing? 00:17:10.871 --> 00:17:12.594 The whole thing. 00:17:12.595 --> 00:17:18.645 Let the juice slither down the back of your throat. 00:17:18.646 --> 00:17:21.490 Congratulations, Holmes. 00:17:21.491 --> 00:17:23.695 You're not only the smartest man in London, 00:17:23.696 --> 00:17:25.938 you shall soon be the healthiest. 00:17:25.939 --> 00:17:27.409 Indeed. 00:17:28.064 --> 00:17:31.269 Now, where's my opium? 00:17:31.270 --> 00:17:32.420 Um... 00:17:32.873 --> 00:17:33.954 Mrs. Hudson! 00:17:33.955 --> 00:17:36.118 Hudson! Hudson! 00:17:36.119 --> 00:17:37.269 Help! 00:17:37.522 --> 00:17:39.725 Hudson, Watson has stuck a carrot up my bum! 00:17:39.726 --> 00:17:41.048 Hudson, help! 00:17:41.049 --> 00:17:43.131 Fire! Fire! Call the police! 00:17:43.132 --> 00:17:44.855 Hudson, your mother has died! 00:17:44.856 --> 00:17:46.738 You brain-dead bag of bones! 00:17:46.739 --> 00:17:49.744 Hudson! Hudson! 00:17:49.745 --> 00:17:50.866 Hudson! 00:17:50.867 --> 00:17:52.869 Hudson, where are you? 00:17:52.870 --> 00:17:54.020 Uh... 00:17:54.194 --> 00:17:56.076 Did you not hear any of that? 00:17:56.077 --> 00:17:58.040 We screamed "fire." Where? 00:17:58.041 --> 00:17:59.763 And we were screaming your name. 00:17:59.764 --> 00:18:03.009 You were just there in my bedroom? 00:18:03.010 --> 00:18:03.840 Oh. 00:18:06.457 --> 00:18:09.999 Sufferin' Succotash. The great Sherlock Holmes. 00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:16.998 I'm Honor- You curl your R's, indicating a native from a less educated United State, 00:18:16.999 --> 00:18:18.999 Namely Missouri. 00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:36.160 Smudge of ink on your waistcoat, index finger of your right hand calloused from a quill... 00:19:13.143 --> 00:19:15.547 Shut up. Come on. 00:19:15.548 --> 00:19:23.201 No wonder my room always smells like fish pie and semen. 00:19:23.202 --> 00:19:24.724 This came for you. 00:19:24.725 --> 00:19:25.715 Hmm. 00:19:26.248 --> 00:19:29.574 Sealed by hands unused to manual labor. 00:19:29.575 --> 00:19:30.565 Hmm. 00:19:32.060 --> 00:19:33.050 Hmm. 00:19:33.703 --> 00:19:36.386 Saliva from a protein-rich diet of chicken kidneys. 00:19:36.387 --> 00:19:38.952 Why, Watson, it's from the Queen. 00:19:38.953 --> 00:19:39.943 Huh. 00:19:40.436 --> 00:19:42.799 Seems Her Majesty requests my services. 00:19:42.800 --> 00:19:45.764 A crime that has baffled even her closest advisors, 00:19:45.765 --> 00:19:48.770 and only my singular intellect can solve it. 00:19:48.771 --> 00:19:50.173 Well, well, well, 00:19:50.174 --> 00:19:53.980 look who's back in the game. 00:19:53.981 --> 00:19:55.423 Watson, are you all right? 00:19:55.424 --> 00:19:57.306 I'm just very nervous. 00:19:57.307 --> 00:20:03.357 I've not met the Queen before. 00:20:04.401 --> 00:20:06.003 Deep breath. Your Majesty, 00:20:06.004 --> 00:20:10.732 Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson. 00:20:10.733 --> 00:20:15.673 My God, it's really her. 00:20:18.307 --> 00:20:19.297 Shh. 00:20:22.315 --> 00:20:23.785 Watson. 00:20:24.159 --> 00:20:26.763 Say something. 00:20:26.764 --> 00:20:28.125 I love you. 00:20:28.126 --> 00:20:31.411 I know I am duty-bound to serve you, but 00:20:31.412 --> 00:20:33.134 let me just say, on a personal note, 00:20:33.135 --> 00:20:34.497 - I really like you. - Stop touching her. 00:20:34.498 --> 00:20:35.859 Just as a fan. 00:20:35.860 --> 00:20:37.744 Please, sir. 00:20:37.745 --> 00:20:39.146 Don't touch the Queen. 00:20:39.147 --> 00:20:39.977 Oh! 00:20:40.510 --> 00:20:42.191 Quite right. 00:20:42.192 --> 00:20:43.675 Sorry, Your Majesty. 00:20:43.676 --> 00:20:47.161 You look a lot smaller in person. 00:20:47.162 --> 00:20:49.245 Just stop. Just stop. Sorry. It's true. 00:20:49.246 --> 00:20:50.528 Just stop talking. 00:20:50.529 --> 00:20:52.932 Yes. Stop talking. 00:20:52.933 --> 00:20:54.294 I'm crazy about your look. 00:20:54.295 --> 00:20:56.058 What did I say? 00:20:56.059 --> 00:20:58.703 Am I still talking out loud? You are. You are. 00:20:58.704 --> 00:21:01.588 It's just the Queen. Yes. 00:21:01.589 --> 00:21:03.312 - Okay? - Okay. 00:21:03.313 --> 00:21:04.555 Your Majesty, 00:21:04.556 --> 00:21:07.760 how may we be of service to the realm? 00:21:07.761 --> 00:21:10.005 Mr. Holmes, pray follow us. 00:21:10.006 --> 00:21:14.012 There is danger about. 00:21:14.013 --> 00:21:15.535 What a looker, right? 00:21:15.536 --> 00:21:19.903 She is stunning in person. 00:21:19.904 --> 00:21:21.747 Fear not, Your Majesty, 00:21:21.748 --> 00:21:24.192 Sherlock will allow no harm to come to you, and neither will I. 00:21:24.193 --> 00:21:27.478 Five, four, three, 00:21:27.479 --> 00:21:29.321 two, one. 00:21:29.322 --> 00:21:31.112 Surprise! 00:21:31.246 --> 00:21:33.650 Thank you. Thank you. 00:21:33.651 --> 00:21:36.175 Had I been a non-genius such as yourselves, 00:21:36.176 --> 00:21:39.421 there's a 72% chance I would have been surprised. 00:21:39.422 --> 00:21:41.202 Oh! 72%. 00:21:43.309 --> 00:21:45.271 Happy birthday, Sherlock Holmes. 00:21:45.272 --> 00:21:49.440 We wish you well and thank you for your many years... 00:21:49.441 --> 00:21:55.531 Your many years of public service. 00:21:55.532 --> 00:21:57.254 So, Holmes. Yes. 00:21:57.255 --> 00:21:58.336 When did you know? 00:21:58.337 --> 00:21:59.819 Tuesday. 00:21:59.820 --> 00:22:01.290 Really? 00:22:01.423 --> 00:22:03.466 You were seven minutes late coming home. 00:22:03.467 --> 00:22:05.630 Stopped at the stationer's, 00:22:05.631 --> 00:22:07.834 confirmed by the scent of paper mulch. 00:22:07.835 --> 00:22:09.357 You have the nose of a bloodhound. 00:22:09.358 --> 00:22:12.363 Your mustache betrayed a dusting of crumbs. 00:22:12.364 --> 00:22:14.527 Evidence of cake sampling. 00:22:14.528 --> 00:22:15.998 Guilty. 00:22:16.652 --> 00:22:20.138 And you purchased a case of pre-phylloxera champagne. 00:22:20.139 --> 00:22:24.025 You lack the self-esteem to buy yourself such an extravagant bottle. 00:22:24.026 --> 00:22:26.149 It's true. 00:22:26.150 --> 00:22:31.730 I don't deserve nice things. 00:22:32.042 --> 00:22:36.089 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow 00:22:36.090 --> 00:22:39.735 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow 00:22:39.736 --> 00:22:42.460 ♪ And so say all of us ♪ 00:22:42.461 --> 00:22:43.771 Bravo. 00:22:45.708 --> 00:22:47.149 Thank you. 00:22:47.150 --> 00:22:49.594 That was delightful. 00:22:49.595 --> 00:22:51.077 Oh, a layer cake. 00:22:51.078 --> 00:22:53.160 It's shaped like a magnifying glass. 00:22:53.161 --> 00:22:54.151 Yes! 00:22:57.651 --> 00:23:02.138 The second layer is rather thick. 00:23:02.139 --> 00:23:04.663 There must be a few nuts in there. Uh, if I may. 00:23:04.664 --> 00:23:08.950 Would you mind? Here. Yes, of course. 00:23:08.951 --> 00:23:10.153 Do you see what I'm talking about? 00:23:10.154 --> 00:23:11.636 Yes. Yes. 00:23:11.637 --> 00:23:13.840 Ah. Raspberry jam. 00:23:13.841 --> 00:23:15.764 Mmm. My weakness. 00:23:15.765 --> 00:23:18.088 I know what I need. 00:23:18.089 --> 00:23:19.772 What the... He's getting an ax! 00:23:19.773 --> 00:23:23.137 Brilliant. Charge! 00:23:23.138 --> 00:23:23.968 Oh! 00:23:24.702 --> 00:23:27.346 Stand back. Back, everyone, I say. 00:23:27.347 --> 00:23:29.870 A murder in Buckingham Palace. 00:23:29.871 --> 00:23:33.197 Look, a note. There. 00:23:33.198 --> 00:23:37.518 Right under your nose. 00:23:40.652 --> 00:23:42.855 "A birthday present for you, Sherlock. 00:23:42.856 --> 00:23:45.180 "A crime to challenge your wits. 00:23:45.181 --> 00:23:47.264 "Stop me in four days' time, 00:23:47.265 --> 00:23:49.908 "or I will destroy London's greatest marvel and kill the Queen, 00:23:49.909 --> 00:23:52.553 "and I will rewrite history." 00:23:52.554 --> 00:23:55.079 Signed "Professor James Moriarty." 00:23:55.080 --> 00:23:56.070 Hmm. 00:23:56.642 --> 00:23:58.405 This is Jimmy Gruber, 00:23:58.406 --> 00:24:00.048 the witness who disappeared, 00:24:00.049 --> 00:24:02.613 whose testimony prompted Moriarty's arrest 00:24:02.614 --> 00:24:05.258 and whom Moriarty swore to kill. 00:24:05.259 --> 00:24:09.109 And your conclusion? 00:24:09.347 --> 00:24:13.553 That Moriarty has killed again, as I predicted. 00:24:13.554 --> 00:24:17.521 Ah. The most obvious conclusion. 00:24:17.522 --> 00:24:19.364 No, this is definitely the work 00:24:19.365 --> 00:24:22.130 of someone who is going to extraordinary lengths 00:24:22.131 --> 00:24:25.056 to make it appear as if Moriarty committed these crimes. 00:24:25.057 --> 00:24:28.743 - Sherlock Holmes. - The Queen. 00:24:28.744 --> 00:24:32.269 We charge you with the task of stopping this criminal 00:24:32.270 --> 00:24:34.313 before he can do us harm. 00:24:34.314 --> 00:24:37.960 Solve this case on behalf of your queen and country. 00:24:37.961 --> 00:24:39.162 - I will. - We will. 00:24:39.163 --> 00:24:40.525 But, Your Majesty... 00:24:40.526 --> 00:24:43.290 Sherlock Holmes has never failed us. 00:24:43.291 --> 00:24:45.334 The bold ingenuity of this crime 00:24:45.335 --> 00:24:47.538 calls me back to the profession 00:24:47.539 --> 00:24:49.382 of detecting like a siren song. 00:24:49.383 --> 00:24:51.145 I won't let anyone hurt you. 00:24:51.146 --> 00:24:53.189 Watson. To the morgue. 00:24:53.190 --> 00:24:55.714 Lestrade, clean this mess up now. 00:24:55.715 --> 00:25:01.615 The game is a-starting. Yeah. 00:25:02.528 --> 00:25:05.772 Who is this copycat pretending to be Moriarty? 00:25:05.773 --> 00:25:08.338 Finally, a problem worthy of my brain. 00:25:08.339 --> 00:25:10.181 This birthday cake is delicious. 00:25:10.182 --> 00:25:11.584 Did you get a chance to try it? 00:25:11.585 --> 00:25:17.595 No, there was a corpse in it. Oh. 00:25:17.596 --> 00:25:18.998 Watson? 00:25:18.999 --> 00:25:19.829 Oh. 00:25:20.081 --> 00:25:22.003 Oh, my goodness. 00:25:22.004 --> 00:25:22.834 Oh. 00:25:23.647 --> 00:25:24.728 Finders keepers. 00:25:24.729 --> 00:25:25.879 Yeah. 00:25:27.214 --> 00:25:29.017 Are you sure you wouldn't rather wait out here? 00:25:29.018 --> 00:25:30.660 The last time you were in the morgue, you... 00:25:30.661 --> 00:25:34.828 Watson, I am a man of stout constitution. 00:25:34.829 --> 00:25:37.793 Yes, of course. I just thought, after the last time, 00:25:37.794 --> 00:25:39.918 with the... 00:25:39.919 --> 00:25:42.019 And the... 00:25:42.083 --> 00:25:44.286 Merely a bout of stomach influenza. 00:25:44.287 --> 00:25:45.689 Yes, but the time before that? 00:25:45.690 --> 00:25:48.013 Bad clams. And before that? 00:25:48.014 --> 00:25:49.736 I shook hands with a prostitute. 00:25:49.737 --> 00:25:50.727 Yes. 00:25:51.741 --> 00:25:54.666 No, no. Put that away. 00:25:54.667 --> 00:26:05.177 I'm not some vaporous, giggling, fainting maiden who... 00:26:06.169 --> 00:26:09.093 Oh, ye of little... 00:26:09.094 --> 00:26:11.738 It's nothing to be ashamed of. 00:26:11.739 --> 00:26:13.462 I think I'm starting to feel a bit... 00:26:13.463 --> 00:26:14.944 I wouldn't... 00:26:14.945 --> 00:26:16.988 Are you... No, no, I'm fine. I'm fine. 00:26:16.989 --> 00:26:24.402 'Cause if you start to feel sick, then I'll start to feel... 00:26:24.403 --> 00:26:27.127 Surely, I must be done. Yes. 00:26:27.128 --> 00:26:32.878 Next to impossible to still... 00:26:36.065 --> 00:26:37.548 There you are. 00:26:37.549 --> 00:26:40.553 All done. Yes, there. 00:26:40.554 --> 00:26:42.557 Would you like some water? Did you say water... 00:26:42.558 --> 00:26:45.242 Sorry. I'm sorry. 00:26:45.243 --> 00:26:47.486 Shall we begin the autopsy? 00:26:47.487 --> 00:26:49.690 Oh, thank goodness these cleaning women are here 00:26:49.691 --> 00:26:50.973 to clean up this dreadful mess. 00:26:50.974 --> 00:26:52.776 Someone's made sick. Oh. 00:26:52.777 --> 00:26:55.261 My dear Watson, these women 00:26:55.262 --> 00:26:57.145 are far too well-dressed to be cleaning women. 00:26:57.146 --> 00:27:01.272 They're here to identify their well-to-do husbands' bodies. 00:27:01.273 --> 00:27:02.795 Sorry for your loss. 00:27:02.796 --> 00:27:05.320 Thank you, but I am the doctor. 00:27:05.321 --> 00:27:08.727 Look, Watson, grief has scrambled her brain. 00:27:08.728 --> 00:27:10.690 Mmm. She thinks she's a doctor. 00:27:10.691 --> 00:27:14.016 Fortunately, Miss, there's a real doctor here 00:27:14.017 --> 00:27:15.539 who may help you. 00:27:15.540 --> 00:27:17.263 Would you like some heroin? 00:27:17.264 --> 00:27:19.427 Dr. Watson, I presume. 00:27:19.428 --> 00:27:21.711 And you must be Sherlock Holmes. 00:27:21.712 --> 00:27:24.476 Dr. Grace Hart of Boston. 00:27:24.477 --> 00:27:26.240 A woman doctor? 00:27:26.241 --> 00:27:29.045 - What times we live in. - Yes. 00:27:29.046 --> 00:27:31.650 In America, we're much more progressive. 00:27:31.651 --> 00:27:34.536 I now make 30 cents for every dollar a man earns. 00:27:34.537 --> 00:27:37.220 What does "doctor" mean in America? 00:27:37.221 --> 00:27:39.064 It means "doctor." 00:27:39.065 --> 00:27:41.068 You're Dr. G. Hart? 00:27:41.069 --> 00:27:42.952 Of Boston? Yes. 00:27:42.953 --> 00:27:45.596 Holmes, we're in the presence of a pioneer. 00:27:45.597 --> 00:27:48.402 Dr. Hart's work with the use of electroshock therapy 00:27:48.403 --> 00:27:50.767 to cure female hysteria is groundbreaking. 00:27:50.768 --> 00:27:54.774 Yes, I proved the higher the voltage, the more demons are released. 00:27:54.775 --> 00:27:56.097 Well, of course. 00:27:56.098 --> 00:27:58.100 Some of my patients live as long as a week. 00:27:58.101 --> 00:28:00.786 "Doctor"? Spelled D-O-C-T-O-R? 00:28:00.787 --> 00:28:01.777 Yes. 00:28:02.790 --> 00:28:05.233 This is my aide, Millicent. 00:28:05.234 --> 00:28:09.121 She's very shy, but a wonderful traveling companion. 00:28:09.122 --> 00:28:12.407 Shall we proceed to the examination? 00:28:12.408 --> 00:28:16.496 Please. Our cadaver awaits. 00:28:16.497 --> 00:28:17.938 No, no, no. 00:28:17.939 --> 00:28:19.089 Here. 00:28:19.983 --> 00:28:22.106 Mr. Holmes, you look rather unwell. 00:28:22.107 --> 00:28:28.398 Perhaps you would rather stay here and keep Millicent company. 00:28:28.399 --> 00:28:29.760 Sherlock Holmes. 00:28:29.761 --> 00:28:33.291 Charmed to meet... 00:28:33.369 --> 00:28:35.291 To meet you. 00:28:35.292 --> 00:28:37.415 Millicent is the subject of my research. 00:28:37.416 --> 00:28:39.580 She was raised by feral cats. 00:28:39.581 --> 00:28:41.864 She has the mental capacity of a four-year-old, 00:28:41.865 --> 00:28:44.989 but it is my belief that, with sufficient electroshock therapy, 00:28:44.990 --> 00:28:47.915 she can achieve the intellect of a six-year-old. 00:28:47.916 --> 00:28:49.999 We are truly in the golden age of medicine. 00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:51.642 There's nothing left to learn. 00:28:51.643 --> 00:28:52.473 No. 00:28:54.609 --> 00:28:59.399 What a creature you are. 00:29:07.072 --> 00:29:13.244 You're devouring that onion with such passion. 00:29:13.245 --> 00:29:16.369 It's strangely arousing. 00:29:16.370 --> 00:29:18.212 Dr. Watson, I have always been taken 00:29:18.213 --> 00:29:21.219 by your unwavering devotion to Mr. Holmes, 00:29:21.220 --> 00:29:25.867 but haven't you ever considered something more? 00:29:25.868 --> 00:29:30.348 Perhaps a co-detective? 00:29:30.517 --> 00:29:32.279 He and I? 00:29:32.280 --> 00:29:33.481 Co-detectives? 00:29:33.482 --> 00:29:34.472 Yes. 00:29:34.645 --> 00:29:36.889 Oh, the very idea! 00:29:36.890 --> 00:29:40.415 Uh... Solving crimes together? 00:29:40.416 --> 00:29:42.739 Laughing and enjoying the esprit de corps 00:29:42.740 --> 00:29:45.505 of two best friends pursuing a noble cause! 00:29:45.506 --> 00:29:47.107 Madness. No, dear. 00:29:47.108 --> 00:29:50.148 No. No, not I. 00:29:50.876 --> 00:29:52.816 Not here. 00:29:53.120 --> 00:30:03.820 Not even in my most rapturous moments of private fantasy. 00:30:03.821 --> 00:30:10.632 Anyway, let's go clean this cake-covered bastard, shall we? 00:30:10.633 --> 00:30:16.543 The wonders of modern medicine. 00:30:16.644 --> 00:30:19.048 Now, you're going to laugh, 00:30:19.049 --> 00:30:21.373 but I found the most important tool of an autopsy is... 00:30:21.374 --> 00:30:22.684 Music. 00:30:23.859 --> 00:30:24.849 Yes. 00:30:25.181 --> 00:30:27.121 You, too? 00:30:33.396 --> 00:30:36.161 ♪ Oh, my love ♪ 00:30:36.162 --> 00:30:40.409 This one always gets me in the mood. 00:30:40.410 --> 00:30:44.410 So begins the dance. 00:30:50.870 --> 00:30:53.313 You have some dribble. Hmm? 00:30:53.314 --> 00:30:59.534 Just a touch of dribble right... 00:31:02.251 --> 00:31:06.658 ♪ And time goes by... ♪ 00:31:06.659 --> 00:31:19.229 There is something so sensual about forensic autopsy, isn't there? 00:31:34.593 --> 00:31:36.515 You are a delight. 00:31:36.516 --> 00:31:43.449 Your eyes say more than words ever could. 00:31:43.450 --> 00:31:44.440 Hmm. 00:31:44.852 --> 00:31:49.340 The tincture of ammonia and scrotum. 00:31:49.341 --> 00:31:53.428 Hello, Inspector Lestrade. 00:31:53.429 --> 00:31:55.111 We have combed the manifests 00:31:55.112 --> 00:31:58.076 of every ship to set sail for the Americas 00:31:58.077 --> 00:32:01.323 and found not a single Moriarty. 00:32:01.324 --> 00:32:04.569 Moriarty's too cunning to use his own name. 00:32:04.570 --> 00:32:06.533 He's sailing under an alias. 00:32:06.534 --> 00:32:08.416 Ah, here we are. 00:32:08.417 --> 00:32:10.861 So, after a thorough... 00:32:10.862 --> 00:32:13.602 Very thorough. 00:32:14.148 --> 00:32:16.231 Stop. No, you stop. 00:32:16.232 --> 00:32:19.037 Examination of the body... 00:32:19.038 --> 00:32:21.481 And I must say, Dr. Hart made some 00:32:21.482 --> 00:32:23.685 beautiful lateral incisions there. 00:32:23.686 --> 00:32:28.855 No, watching you flay the skin from his face so gently! 00:32:28.856 --> 00:32:31.260 I would flay 1,000 faces for you. And the way... 00:32:31.261 --> 00:32:33.263 Just tell me what you found! 00:32:33.264 --> 00:32:34.254 Yes. 00:32:35.108 --> 00:32:36.750 Cause of death indeterminate. 00:32:36.751 --> 00:32:38.153 Indeterminate? 00:32:38.154 --> 00:32:39.555 What do you mean? 00:32:39.556 --> 00:32:41.960 It means he doesn't know. 00:32:41.961 --> 00:32:43.803 - Proceed, Watson. - Yes. 00:32:43.804 --> 00:32:47.931 We found a freshly applied tattoo of a cross 00:32:47.932 --> 00:32:50.777 and the numbers one and 20. 00:32:50.778 --> 00:32:53.021 I have the oddest feeling. 00:32:53.022 --> 00:32:55.466 It's like knowing, but the opposite. 00:32:55.467 --> 00:32:57.269 Meaning you haven't a clue. 00:32:57.270 --> 00:33:00.515 Who is this genius pretender who's taken Moriarty's place, 00:33:00.516 --> 00:33:04.804 committing crimes exactly the way he would? 00:33:04.805 --> 00:33:06.847 A fantastic new case. 00:33:06.848 --> 00:33:09.211 I'm aroused both mentally and physically. 00:33:09.212 --> 00:33:12.979 I was wondering, rather than working beside you on this case, 00:33:12.980 --> 00:33:15.864 I might work with you as a sort of... 00:33:15.865 --> 00:33:18.068 Grace called it a "co-detective." 00:33:18.069 --> 00:33:22.076 One cannot simply just make someone a detective. 00:33:22.077 --> 00:33:23.518 It must be earned. 00:33:23.519 --> 00:33:26.044 Well, I deduced you might say that, 00:33:26.045 --> 00:33:28.569 which is why, when we arrive home, 00:33:28.570 --> 00:33:31.694 I propose a game of chess. 00:33:31.695 --> 00:33:33.217 If I should best you, 00:33:33.218 --> 00:33:35.261 then surely I possess the mental power... 00:33:35.262 --> 00:33:37.826 Checkmate! Checkmate. 00:33:37.827 --> 00:33:40.351 What? We haven't started yet. 00:33:40.352 --> 00:33:42.034 You would have opened with the Queen's Gambit. 00:33:42.035 --> 00:33:44.278 Oh, indeed. A reliable first move. 00:33:44.279 --> 00:33:45.961 I would have countered with a Slav Defense. 00:33:45.962 --> 00:33:48.927 Oh! An audacious move. Quite unexpected. 00:33:48.928 --> 00:33:51.452 You would have panicked, thus exposing your queen. 00:33:51.453 --> 00:33:52.574 No, not my queen! 00:33:52.575 --> 00:33:54.097 Seeing your queen exposed 00:33:54.098 --> 00:33:56.141 would have compelled you to defend her. 00:33:56.142 --> 00:33:59.187 Indeed. It is my duty in chess as in life. 00:33:59.188 --> 00:34:03.435 Thereby neglecting my castle. 00:34:03.436 --> 00:34:05.386 Checkmate. 00:34:05.961 --> 00:34:07.322 Perhaps another game? 00:34:07.323 --> 00:34:09.246 Rock-paper-scissors. 00:34:09.247 --> 00:34:11.770 Rock, rock, paper, paper, scissors, paper, 00:34:11.771 --> 00:34:14.696 rock, scissors, paper, rock. 00:34:14.697 --> 00:34:15.818 Dash it all! 00:34:15.819 --> 00:34:17.261 What about Battleship? 00:34:17.262 --> 00:34:19.946 D-3, E-3, F-3, and G-3. 00:34:19.947 --> 00:34:22.190 Damn it, you've sunk my battleship. 00:34:22.191 --> 00:34:24.715 You're a good man, Watson, 00:34:24.716 --> 00:34:27.480 but you're not ready. 00:34:27.481 --> 00:34:28.843 But why? 00:34:28.844 --> 00:34:35.684 If you were ready, you'd know why. 00:34:41.949 --> 00:34:44.112 Let the game begin. 00:34:44.113 --> 00:34:46.357 A piece for a piece. 00:34:46.358 --> 00:34:51.618 Two can play at that game. 00:35:07.598 --> 00:35:08.588 Mmm. 00:35:11.365 --> 00:35:13.155 Peekaboo. 00:35:15.613 --> 00:35:18.353 Ah. Checkmate. 00:35:18.418 --> 00:35:24.318 And to the victor, the spoils. 00:35:24.470 --> 00:35:30.210 You'll never be co-detective. 00:35:32.044 --> 00:35:35.049 Watson, I'm near a breakthrough. 00:35:35.050 --> 00:35:37.614 My hypothesis is the true cause of death 00:35:37.615 --> 00:35:40.980 is ink poisoning via the fresh tattoo. 00:35:40.981 --> 00:35:44.988 But I need your help. 00:35:44.989 --> 00:35:46.591 You want me to be co-detective? 00:35:46.592 --> 00:35:48.194 Mmm-mmm. 00:35:48.195 --> 00:35:51.200 I'm awfully sorry, Dr. Watson. 00:35:51.201 --> 00:35:52.482 Sorry for what? 00:35:52.483 --> 00:35:54.326 Mr. Holmes left me no choice. 00:35:54.327 --> 00:35:56.810 May you rest in peace. What's she on about? 00:35:56.811 --> 00:36:03.062 All will be clear in three, two, one. 00:36:03.063 --> 00:36:04.184 Excuse me. 00:36:04.185 --> 00:36:06.028 I'll take that. 00:36:06.029 --> 00:36:07.992 It's just something caught in my throat. 00:36:07.993 --> 00:36:09.314 Oh, no. 00:36:09.315 --> 00:36:10.636 I poisoned you. 00:36:10.637 --> 00:36:11.627 Why? 00:36:12.040 --> 00:36:13.682 To test my theory. 00:36:13.683 --> 00:36:15.325 Am I going to die? 00:36:15.326 --> 00:36:16.848 No, I have an antidote. 00:36:16.849 --> 00:36:19.894 Oh. But I need to see it play out. 00:36:19.895 --> 00:36:21.858 Now, let's see here. 00:36:21.859 --> 00:36:23.581 Redness around the mouth. Good. 00:36:23.582 --> 00:36:24.903 Help me. 00:36:24.904 --> 00:36:29.152 You will have temporary brain damage. 00:36:29.153 --> 00:36:31.035 Wake up, Watson. Wake up. 00:36:31.036 --> 00:36:33.319 We have work to do. Watson. 00:36:33.320 --> 00:36:35.243 Who's Watson? I'll kill him! 00:36:35.244 --> 00:36:36.526 You son of a bitch! 00:36:36.527 --> 00:36:37.687 Violent aggression. 00:36:37.688 --> 00:36:39.692 Oh, please give me the antidote. 00:36:39.693 --> 00:36:41.054 Drama queen syndrome. 00:36:41.055 --> 00:36:43.379 Why am I doing this? 00:36:43.380 --> 00:36:44.701 Confused mime. 00:36:44.702 --> 00:36:47.707 Oh! Does this suit make me look fat? 00:36:47.708 --> 00:36:49.430 Body image dysmorphia. 00:36:49.431 --> 00:36:51.211 My eyes! 00:36:51.275 --> 00:36:54.921 Sensitivity to light. My eyes! It burns! 00:36:54.922 --> 00:36:57.566 Excruciating abdominal pain. 00:36:57.567 --> 00:36:59.128 Yes, it's confirmed. 00:36:59.129 --> 00:37:01.253 It was poison. Come, Watson. 00:37:01.254 --> 00:37:04.299 Let us not be late. 00:37:04.300 --> 00:37:05.702 Oh! Of course. 00:37:05.703 --> 00:37:07.653 Lactation. 00:37:08.708 --> 00:37:10.670 Why? Come along, Watson. 00:37:10.671 --> 00:37:15.159 I'll explain in the cab. 00:37:15.160 --> 00:37:16.402 There we go. 00:37:16.403 --> 00:37:18.205 Oh, thank God for this antidote. 00:37:18.206 --> 00:37:21.491 I feel as though I've completely recovered. 00:37:21.492 --> 00:37:24.382 Yes, you have. 00:37:25.580 --> 00:37:26.821 There. 00:37:26.822 --> 00:37:28.064 So where are we going? 00:37:28.065 --> 00:37:30.187 The fact that the victim was poisoned 00:37:30.188 --> 00:37:34.195 suggests the killer lacked physical strength to overpower him. 00:37:34.196 --> 00:37:37.562 The tattoos you examined have an uneven quality. 00:37:37.563 --> 00:37:41.329 It leads me to believe that they were drawn by a one-armed man. 00:37:41.330 --> 00:37:43.813 A one-armed man. 00:37:43.814 --> 00:37:44.804 Yes. 00:37:45.217 --> 00:37:47.300 A weak man who would use poison. 00:37:47.301 --> 00:37:52.230 There is only one one-armed tattoo artist in all of London. 00:37:52.231 --> 00:37:55.556 The nefarious Gustav Klinger. 00:37:55.557 --> 00:37:58.641 Dorset Street! And don't spare the horses! 00:37:58.642 --> 00:38:00.164 Dorset Street. 00:38:00.165 --> 00:38:03.932 Home of drunkards, thieves, and hairy, old whores. 00:38:03.933 --> 00:38:06.777 And, if my theory is correct, the killer. 00:38:06.778 --> 00:38:09.838 Hello, gorgeous. 00:38:10.225 --> 00:38:15.915 Though all is calm now, we must be on highest alert. 00:38:15.916 --> 00:38:19.240 Shall we ask someone if they've seen our one-armed Mr. Klinger? 00:38:19.241 --> 00:38:22.768 This neighborhood does not welcome curious outsiders. 00:38:22.769 --> 00:38:24.732 Excuse me. Have you the time? 00:38:24.733 --> 00:38:28.178 Not for you, outsider. 00:38:28.179 --> 00:38:29.901 Merciful God. 00:38:29.902 --> 00:38:31.585 We must blend in. 00:38:31.586 --> 00:38:34.310 Fortunately, my time tripping the boards 00:38:34.311 --> 00:38:35.672 has made me a master of disguise. 00:38:35.673 --> 00:38:36.663 Yes. 00:38:43.408 --> 00:38:44.398 You. 00:38:44.530 --> 00:38:46.293 What have you done with Sherlock? 00:38:46.294 --> 00:38:48.536 Why, Watson, 00:38:48.537 --> 00:38:51.267 I never left. 00:38:51.945 --> 00:38:53.707 Amazing. Yes, I know. 00:38:53.708 --> 00:38:56.111 Yes, you've outdone yourself this time. 00:38:56.112 --> 00:38:57.422 Now... 00:38:57.956 --> 00:38:59.317 Huh? No. 00:38:59.318 --> 00:39:00.840 Still me. It's you? 00:39:00.841 --> 00:39:02.603 It's still Sherlock. 00:39:02.604 --> 00:39:04.647 All right. Rest assured. 00:39:04.648 --> 00:39:06.050 It's very convincing. 00:39:06.051 --> 00:39:07.893 Now for your disguise. 00:39:07.894 --> 00:39:11.540 Oh, what will it be? 00:39:11.541 --> 00:39:15.541 Yes. You, my friend, 00:39:15.669 --> 00:39:21.118 shall play a down-on-your-luck horseshit salesman. 00:39:21.119 --> 00:39:23.059 Oh. Yes. 00:39:23.364 --> 00:39:25.206 Yes. Yes. 00:39:25.207 --> 00:39:28.252 Come, Watson. We have a one-armed killer to catch. 00:39:28.253 --> 00:39:29.935 Get into character. 00:39:29.936 --> 00:39:31.659 - Horseshit for sale! - There you go. 00:39:31.660 --> 00:39:33.742 - Who will buy my horse's shit? - I'll take some. 00:39:33.743 --> 00:39:37.590 No one must know our true purpose. Mmm. 00:39:37.591 --> 00:39:39.233 What you toffs want? 00:39:39.234 --> 00:39:46.527 To buy a pint for any man who can raise two hands. 00:39:46.528 --> 00:39:48.972 Every man has both arms. 00:39:48.973 --> 00:39:51.055 Klinger isn't here. 00:39:51.056 --> 00:39:53.220 Our journey continues. 00:39:53.221 --> 00:39:57.708 Blend in like a common oaf. Yes. 00:39:57.709 --> 00:39:59.591 Keep drinking. We need to fit in. 00:39:59.592 --> 00:40:01.062 Cheers. 00:40:01.998 --> 00:40:03.319 Cheers! 00:40:03.320 --> 00:40:06.690 More, more, more! 00:40:09.171 --> 00:40:11.581 Oi! Oi! Oi! 00:40:17.667 --> 00:40:19.149 They have boxing here. 00:40:19.150 --> 00:40:20.712 I don't care if he's small! 00:40:20.713 --> 00:40:24.800 - Kill! - Come on, fight! 00:40:24.801 --> 00:40:26.242 Shouldn't we be looking for Klinger? 00:40:26.243 --> 00:40:32.254 Who cares about Klinger? Exactly! 00:40:32.255 --> 00:40:33.536 Release the child! 00:40:33.537 --> 00:40:35.500 Let go of that boy! I want him dead! 00:40:35.501 --> 00:40:39.501 Sweet river of piss. 00:40:39.549 --> 00:40:42.153 You have real force there. 00:40:42.154 --> 00:40:43.675 Arc of stream. 00:40:43.676 --> 00:40:45.159 Direction of wind. 00:40:45.160 --> 00:40:47.082 Compensate for shy penis. 00:40:47.083 --> 00:40:49.527 Avoid splash on shoes. 00:40:49.528 --> 00:40:51.570 And release fluids. 00:40:51.571 --> 00:40:53.173 Oh, my goodness. 00:40:53.174 --> 00:40:56.701 Damn it, I forgot to unzip my pants. 00:40:56.702 --> 00:40:58.383 You really are a genius. 00:40:58.384 --> 00:41:00.788 Oh, watch it. Oh, sorry. 00:41:00.789 --> 00:41:03.393 I should like to send a telegram. 00:41:03.394 --> 00:41:05.814 Grace. Stop. 00:41:07.282 --> 00:41:11.282 Are you awake? Stop. 00:41:12.050 --> 00:41:14.454 Uh, you're such a pretty doctor lady. 00:41:14.455 --> 00:41:15.445 Ooh! 00:41:16.258 --> 00:41:18.021 Are you quite sure this is a good idea? 00:41:18.022 --> 00:41:19.624 This is wonderful. 00:41:19.625 --> 00:41:22.830 The combination of the late hour and your drunkenness 00:41:22.831 --> 00:41:26.316 allows for communication of exceptional honesty. 00:41:26.317 --> 00:41:27.439 Quite right. 00:41:27.440 --> 00:41:29.202 I will call it an intoxigram. 00:41:29.203 --> 00:41:32.087 And no one shall ever regret sending one. 00:41:32.088 --> 00:41:34.932 Now, lay bare the fruits of your inebriation. 00:41:34.933 --> 00:41:36.656 Ask her what she's wearing. 00:41:36.657 --> 00:41:39.021 What are you wearing? Stop. 00:41:39.022 --> 00:41:39.782 Bloomers? 00:41:39.783 --> 00:41:41.545 A brassiere? 00:41:41.546 --> 00:41:44.070 I'd wager you'd look good in anything. 00:41:44.071 --> 00:41:45.353 Wonderful. Stop. 00:41:45.354 --> 00:41:47.477 Shall I ask what Millie thinks about you? 00:41:47.478 --> 00:41:48.628 Um... 00:41:49.361 --> 00:41:51.685 I don't care. Sure. Why not? 00:41:51.686 --> 00:41:53.929 What does Millie think of Sherlock? 00:41:53.930 --> 00:41:57.696 Does Millie ever drip wax over her body? 00:41:57.697 --> 00:42:00.301 Hot wax. Stop. 00:42:00.302 --> 00:42:01.985 - Okay. That's enough. - Yeah, I think so. 00:42:01.986 --> 00:42:05.986 Describe your loins. Ah Yes. 00:42:05.987 --> 00:42:11.221 Hot Loins. Hot Loins for sale. 00:42:11.222 --> 00:42:15.209 Come and get them while they're hot. Hot steamy loins. 00:42:15.210 --> 00:42:19.298 Now show her how she makes you feel. Huh? 00:42:19.299 --> 00:42:22.222 Just go ahead. Display it. 00:42:22.223 --> 00:42:23.533 There. 00:42:24.186 --> 00:42:28.332 Don't look away! Look at it! 00:42:28.333 --> 00:42:29.557 Telegraph a picture of this. 00:42:29.558 --> 00:42:32.723 And make sure you get the banger and the beans. 00:42:32.724 --> 00:42:34.366 Focus on the mushroom. 00:42:34.367 --> 00:42:37.011 Are you positive I shan't regret this in the morning? 00:42:37.012 --> 00:42:38.974 You absolutely will. 00:42:38.975 --> 00:42:40.578 Silence, you! Say it again. 00:42:40.579 --> 00:42:41.940 Say it again. I dare you. Oh! 00:42:41.941 --> 00:42:43.624 Please say it. Please say it again. 00:42:43.625 --> 00:42:45.106 Do you think you would be the first man I've killed? 00:42:45.107 --> 00:42:50.477 I have the penis of a baby doll. 00:42:50.478 --> 00:42:56.528 It's just a statement of fact. 00:42:57.090 --> 00:42:58.973 Oh, well, Watson, 00:42:58.974 --> 00:43:01.458 after a night of drinking, I could eat a whole pie. 00:43:01.459 --> 00:43:03.741 Oh, no, it's cakes for me, my friend. 00:43:03.742 --> 00:43:05.305 Ah! Cakes, indeed! 00:43:05.306 --> 00:43:09.593 Yes. Yes, cakes stacked on cakes. 00:43:09.594 --> 00:43:11.597 We should open a restaurant called 00:43:11.598 --> 00:43:15.484 the International House of Cakes Stacked Upon Other Cakes. 00:43:15.485 --> 00:43:18.650 Yes, and you can only eat there after a night of drinking. 00:43:18.651 --> 00:43:20.734 Well, speaking of the night, I fear it's a night wasted. 00:43:20.735 --> 00:43:23.659 No sign of Klinger anywhere. Mmm. 00:43:23.660 --> 00:43:25.583 Not so fast, Watson. 00:43:25.584 --> 00:43:28.509 Look at those two men and their tattoos. 00:43:28.510 --> 00:43:30.152 I don't understand. 00:43:30.153 --> 00:43:32.677 We haven't been able to find the tattoo artist. 00:43:32.678 --> 00:43:39.570 Perhaps we should follow the tattoos. 00:43:39.571 --> 00:43:41.013 A gymnasium? 00:43:41.014 --> 00:43:43.097 You really think Klinger would be here, Holmes? 00:43:43.098 --> 00:43:46.182 Look alive, Watson. He could be anywhere. 00:43:46.183 --> 00:43:48.748 Three, two, one. 00:43:48.749 --> 00:43:51.432 Pick it up. Pick it up. That's it. 00:43:51.433 --> 00:43:53.757 Out with the bad air, in with the good. 00:43:53.758 --> 00:43:55.440 Look at these health nuts. 00:43:55.441 --> 00:43:57.404 Big deep breath. 00:43:57.405 --> 00:43:59.127 Obsessed with the purifying effects of smoke. 00:43:59.128 --> 00:44:02.854 All right, good lungful of the cleansing vapors. 00:44:02.855 --> 00:44:05.660 I don't think he's here, Holmes. 00:44:05.661 --> 00:44:07.864 Hello, hello, hello! 00:44:07.865 --> 00:44:09.827 Sherlock Holmes. 00:44:09.828 --> 00:44:10.658 Ah. 00:44:11.391 --> 00:44:13.154 You must be Gustav Klinger, 00:44:13.155 --> 00:44:16.360 the one-armed tattoo artist of Dorset Street. 00:44:16.361 --> 00:44:19.251 Looks like it. 00:44:20.208 --> 00:44:23.734 Gustav Klinger, I accuse you of poisoning Jimmy Gruber 00:44:23.735 --> 00:44:25.938 and baking him into a large cake. 00:44:25.939 --> 00:44:30.466 A deliciously large cake that I baked myself. 00:44:30.467 --> 00:44:32.030 Oh, please. 00:44:32.031 --> 00:44:33.472 How dare you! 00:44:33.473 --> 00:44:35.796 You did not bake that cake. 00:44:35.797 --> 00:44:38.401 Not only did I bake it. I decorated it, too. 00:44:38.402 --> 00:44:39.644 Impossible. 00:44:39.645 --> 00:44:40.967 It's got a frosting attachment. 00:44:40.968 --> 00:44:42.810 You're trying to tell me 00:44:42.811 --> 00:44:45.455 that a one-armed man made a professional, bakery-quality cake 00:44:45.456 --> 00:44:46.777 fit for the Queen. Watson. 00:44:46.778 --> 00:44:49.102 It's just... It... It doesn't matter 00:44:49.103 --> 00:44:50.825 if he baked the cake or not. It really bugs... I know. 00:44:50.826 --> 00:44:52.147 - It really... - Best cake I've ever eaten. 00:44:52.148 --> 00:44:54.312 I did bake the cake. All right, fine. 00:44:54.313 --> 00:44:55.995 You "baked the cake." 00:44:55.996 --> 00:44:59.241 I didn't "bake a cake." 00:44:59.242 --> 00:45:00.403 I baked a cake. 00:45:00.404 --> 00:45:01.846 Then you admit it. 00:45:01.847 --> 00:45:03.650 You killed Jimmy Gruber. 00:45:03.651 --> 00:45:05.773 And what if I did, Mr. Holmes? 00:45:05.774 --> 00:45:08.860 It's not as if you're in a position to do anything about it. 00:45:08.861 --> 00:45:11.865 He's right, Sherlock Holmes. 00:45:11.866 --> 00:45:15.472 You've walked straight into our trap. 00:45:15.473 --> 00:45:17.476 Moriarty. Quiet, Watson. 00:45:17.477 --> 00:45:21.323 In the name of the queen, I arrest you both. 00:45:21.324 --> 00:45:23.688 Oh, come, Sherlock. 00:45:23.689 --> 00:45:25.531 You don't think it'll be that easy. 00:45:25.532 --> 00:45:28.697 You won't be leaving here alive, Mr. Holmes, 00:45:28.698 --> 00:45:36.712 unless, of course, you fight your way out of the Hexagon. 00:45:36.713 --> 00:45:39.358 Where are you pointing? 00:45:39.359 --> 00:45:40.480 There. 00:45:40.481 --> 00:45:42.363 This way or that way? 00:45:42.364 --> 00:45:43.674 There. 00:45:43.727 --> 00:45:45.129 - Oh. - The Hexagon. 00:45:45.130 --> 00:45:47.292 But I won't fight a one-armed man. 00:45:47.293 --> 00:45:50.259 Oh, no. I've got this, Sherlock. 00:45:50.260 --> 00:45:52.823 It won't be the first time I've fought a cripple. 00:45:52.824 --> 00:45:54.066 Oh, uh... 00:45:54.067 --> 00:45:55.589 You won't be fighting me. 00:45:55.590 --> 00:45:57.752 Nah, nah, nah. 00:45:57.753 --> 00:45:59.556 You're fighting my mate. 00:45:59.557 --> 00:46:01.817 Meet Brawn. 00:46:19.355 --> 00:46:21.925 Oh, come on. 00:46:22.521 --> 00:46:26.841 Well, I call bullshit. 00:46:27.771 --> 00:46:30.294 I fear it might be suicide to fight this man. 00:46:30.295 --> 00:46:36.266 I think it's mostly psychological. 00:46:36.267 --> 00:46:38.470 I'm psychologically scared shitless right now. 00:46:38.471 --> 00:46:42.321 Fight! Fight! Fight! 00:46:43.641 --> 00:46:45.523 Okay. Okay. 00:46:45.524 --> 00:46:48.489 But if you want to watch this fight, you have to pay. 00:46:48.490 --> 00:46:50.252 You have to pay to view it. 00:46:50.253 --> 00:46:53.339 This is a pay-to-view-it fight. 00:46:53.340 --> 00:46:55.462 Yes, I know it seems a bit unfair, 00:46:55.463 --> 00:46:57.266 but if you split it among a few friends 00:46:57.267 --> 00:46:58.949 and buy some beers, some pizza, 00:46:58.950 --> 00:47:01.273 it could be a fun thing to do with the guys. 00:47:01.274 --> 00:47:03.524 It's time! 00:47:06.084 --> 00:47:10.731 Let's get ready to scuffle! 00:47:10.732 --> 00:47:13.056 Scuffle! Scuffle! Scuffle! 00:47:13.057 --> 00:47:14.178 Nice! 00:47:14.179 --> 00:47:15.540 What is she doing here? 00:47:15.541 --> 00:47:17.104 It's 6:00 in the morning. 00:47:17.105 --> 00:47:18.786 Holmes, I don't know why... 00:47:18.787 --> 00:47:20.510 Yes... but that really jacked me up. 00:47:20.511 --> 00:47:22.474 Ah! I think I might stand a chance. 00:47:22.475 --> 00:47:24.398 It reminds me of Istanbul. 00:47:24.399 --> 00:47:27.202 Exactly. And what did I beat in Istanbul? 00:47:27.203 --> 00:47:28.926 Syphilis! Syphilis! Exactly. 00:47:28.927 --> 00:47:30.930 Go get him. All right. 00:47:30.931 --> 00:47:32.092 Come on! 00:47:32.093 --> 00:47:33.535 "Come on"? You come on! 00:47:33.536 --> 00:47:34.526 You! 00:47:35.099 --> 00:47:39.419 You mountain of flesh. 00:47:45.559 --> 00:47:47.761 Your turn, Mr. Holmes! 00:47:47.762 --> 00:47:54.442 Yes, I know. Of course I'm next. 00:47:55.177 --> 00:47:57.621 Opponent, 350 pounds. 00:47:57.622 --> 00:47:59.183 Use pipe. 00:47:59.184 --> 00:48:03.552 Create diversion to distract his gaze. 00:48:03.553 --> 00:48:05.635 Plan of attack, 00:48:05.636 --> 00:48:08.521 surprise first blow to center of mass. 00:48:08.522 --> 00:48:11.326 Gracefully dodge counterpunch. 00:48:11.327 --> 00:48:14.572 Employ visual impairment. 00:48:14.573 --> 00:48:17.138 Easily duck wild swing. 00:48:17.139 --> 00:48:20.424 Utilize Tibetan ototoxic method 00:48:20.425 --> 00:48:23.790 to disrupt his balance. 00:48:23.791 --> 00:48:25.073 Grab facial hair. 00:48:25.074 --> 00:48:26.836 Use for leverage. 00:48:26.837 --> 00:48:30.687 Okinawan beard flip. 00:48:31.325 --> 00:48:33.729 Enemy incapacitated. 00:48:33.730 --> 00:48:35.990 Catch pipe. 00:48:36.014 --> 00:48:41.284 Revel in crowd's adulation. 00:48:53.768 --> 00:48:55.388 Oh, no. 00:48:58.257 --> 00:48:59.418 Good show, Watson. 00:48:59.419 --> 00:49:02.624 Thank you, Holmes. 00:49:02.625 --> 00:49:04.428 Break his pelvis. 00:49:04.429 --> 00:49:06.529 Go! Again! 00:49:06.672 --> 00:49:11.932 Club him like a baby seal. 00:49:14.127 --> 00:49:16.090 What have I done? No, you're fine. 00:49:16.091 --> 00:49:17.853 Okay. Now, 00:49:17.854 --> 00:49:21.861 tell us everything you know about the plot to kill the Queen. 00:49:21.862 --> 00:49:23.142 All right. 00:49:23.143 --> 00:49:26.990 I'll tell you everything I know. 00:49:26.991 --> 00:49:31.239 I've been stabbed in the back. 00:49:31.240 --> 00:49:32.521 Meaning? Oh. 00:49:32.522 --> 00:49:34.324 Metaphorically speaking, yes. 00:49:34.325 --> 00:49:39.454 No, I've literally been stabbed in the back... 00:49:39.455 --> 00:49:43.775 Holmes, he's escaping. 00:49:49.755 --> 00:49:51.437 So Moriarty is in England. 00:49:51.438 --> 00:49:54.603 Watson. Does it look like Moriarty 00:49:54.604 --> 00:49:55.594 now? 00:49:56.608 --> 00:49:58.049 Who is this? 00:49:58.050 --> 00:50:00.133 Jacob Musgrave, 00:50:00.134 --> 00:50:02.378 as I've been saying all along. 00:50:02.379 --> 00:50:04.582 A man who looks so much like Moriarty, 00:50:04.583 --> 00:50:07.227 a simple beard fooled almost everyone. 00:50:07.228 --> 00:50:08.629 All right, I admit it. 00:50:08.630 --> 00:50:10.593 I am no Moriarty. 00:50:10.594 --> 00:50:12.236 My name is Musgrave, 00:50:12.237 --> 00:50:14.922 just like he says. 00:50:14.923 --> 00:50:17.005 - Wow. - Who put you up to this? 00:50:17.006 --> 00:50:20.292 Oh, they've been leaving me notes telling me what to do. 00:50:20.293 --> 00:50:21.534 I don't know who it is. 00:50:21.535 --> 00:50:23.938 I swear, I'm just a simple wanker. 00:50:23.939 --> 00:50:25.942 He's telling the truth, Watson. 00:50:25.943 --> 00:50:28.467 This morally deficient creature, 00:50:28.468 --> 00:50:32.154 this awful, awful excuse for a man, this... 00:50:32.155 --> 00:50:34.559 Bag of rubbish. Yes, good one, Watson. Yes. 00:50:34.560 --> 00:50:36.402 Come on, guys. I'm dying. 00:50:36.403 --> 00:50:38.967 These are the wages of wanking, you see? 00:50:38.968 --> 00:50:41.172 Wait, wait, wait. What? 00:50:41.173 --> 00:50:42.293 Just a... 00:50:42.294 --> 00:50:44.938 Don't wank on us. 00:50:44.939 --> 00:50:46.559 A coal. 00:50:46.903 --> 00:50:51.191 Said you were to take it to Newcastle. 00:50:51.192 --> 00:50:53.515 - A lump of coal? - Yeah. 00:50:53.516 --> 00:50:54.837 To Newcastle? 00:50:54.838 --> 00:50:56.801 Newcastle by the river? 00:50:56.802 --> 00:50:59.727 Perhaps this clue will lead us to the real mastermind. 00:50:59.728 --> 00:51:00.809 Time is running out. 00:51:00.810 --> 00:51:02.131 We must save the Queen. 00:51:02.132 --> 00:51:05.652 Good luck to you. 00:51:07.262 --> 00:51:09.545 ♪ While speeding to London town 00:51:09.546 --> 00:51:12.231 ♪ Bad man he said we gotta get down 00:51:12.232 --> 00:51:14.875 ♪ Keep smiling and forget that frown 00:51:14.876 --> 00:51:17.360 ♪ Little reason to keep that crown 00:51:17.361 --> 00:51:20.045 ♪ While speeding to London town 00:51:20.046 --> 00:51:22.811 ♪ Bad man he said we gotta get down 00:51:22.812 --> 00:51:25.335 ♪ Keep smiling and forget that frown... ♪ 00:51:25.336 --> 00:51:28.501 Bring these coals to Newcastle. 00:51:28.502 --> 00:51:29.812 Coals. 00:51:30.346 --> 00:51:32.588 Coals. "Sherlock." 00:51:32.589 --> 00:51:35.675 "Three days until I rewrite history and kill the queen." 00:51:35.676 --> 00:51:37.438 Millicent is the subject of my research. 00:51:37.439 --> 00:51:39.402 Coals to Newcastle. 00:51:39.403 --> 00:51:41.606 Talking to you, it's as if our brains are sharing a tandem bicycle. 00:51:41.607 --> 00:51:43.570 She has the mental capacity of... 00:51:43.571 --> 00:51:45.053 Now you have but three days... 00:51:45.054 --> 00:51:46.615 Bring these coals to Newcastle. 00:51:46.616 --> 00:51:49.581 ♪ Co-detective Sherlock and me ♪ 00:51:49.582 --> 00:51:50.824 Uh... Oh. 00:51:50.825 --> 00:51:52.988 Good morning, Sherlock. 00:51:52.989 --> 00:51:54.631 What's happened? Well, I'm... 00:51:54.632 --> 00:51:56.955 I'm trying to untangle this baffling clue. 00:51:56.956 --> 00:51:57.786 Ah. 00:51:58.319 --> 00:52:00.642 Ever since I met Millie, my mind is muddled. 00:52:00.643 --> 00:52:02.766 Do you suppose she's infected me 00:52:02.767 --> 00:52:04.851 with some sort of a disease? 00:52:04.852 --> 00:52:05.973 Disease? 00:52:05.974 --> 00:52:07.655 My heart races. 00:52:07.656 --> 00:52:09.058 My palms sweat. 00:52:09.059 --> 00:52:10.821 I have all these feelings. 00:52:10.822 --> 00:52:14.669 Holmes, get a hold of yourself. You're not sick. 00:52:14.670 --> 00:52:15.872 You're in love. 00:52:15.873 --> 00:52:17.955 Love? Horseradish! 00:52:17.956 --> 00:52:19.278 I'm a man of logic. 00:52:19.279 --> 00:52:21.081 There's nothing to be ashamed of. 00:52:21.082 --> 00:52:25.610 In fact, I, too, have been taken by this malady called love. 00:52:25.611 --> 00:52:28.695 Grace has asked me to call upon her. 00:52:28.696 --> 00:52:30.499 Apparently, 00:52:30.500 --> 00:52:34.907 I sent her quite the charming telegram last night. 00:52:34.908 --> 00:52:36.871 Watson, you've cracked it. 00:52:36.872 --> 00:52:38.314 Have I? Co-detective? 00:52:38.315 --> 00:52:39.637 Think, Watson. Uh... 00:52:39.638 --> 00:52:41.160 Is there a single logical reason 00:52:41.161 --> 00:52:43.684 for Grace to want to seek your company? 00:52:43.685 --> 00:52:45.167 Romantic interest? 00:52:45.168 --> 00:52:46.931 No. My eyes? 00:52:46.932 --> 00:52:48.133 It's all a ruse. 00:52:48.134 --> 00:52:50.256 Moriarty escapes to America, 00:52:50.257 --> 00:52:53.262 and then these two American women show up? 00:52:53.263 --> 00:52:57.029 Sorry, you're saying Grace is the killer? 00:52:57.030 --> 00:52:59.795 Of course she's not the killer. She's an American. 00:52:59.796 --> 00:53:02.199 She would have used a gun. Ah. Hmm. 00:53:02.200 --> 00:53:05.205 No, Grace is working for the killer. 00:53:05.206 --> 00:53:06.036 Oh. 00:53:06.328 --> 00:53:08.291 We shall seduce her, 00:53:08.292 --> 00:53:10.415 and that will lead us to the murderer. 00:53:10.416 --> 00:53:12.196 Mmm-hmm. 00:53:12.340 --> 00:53:13.140 Yes. 00:53:13.141 --> 00:53:16.141 Well, we best get you cleaned up and dressed then, eh? 00:53:16.142 --> 00:53:18.332 Thank you Watson. 00:53:18.333 --> 00:53:21.333 Oh. You're still here. 00:53:21.334 --> 00:53:27.334 Hudson. What are you doing in my room again? I told you, I will clean it from now on. 00:53:27.335 --> 00:53:30.000 You have your own room. Under the stairs! 00:53:30.001 --> 00:53:33.456 Out! Out! Come Along... 00:53:33.457 --> 00:53:38.247 You've soiled it enough! 00:53:38.458 --> 00:53:42.458 Ugh... Good God. Harry Houdini and Albert Einstein. 00:53:42.459 --> 00:53:46.259 Really? What kind of three backed beast is this? 00:53:46.260 --> 00:53:50.260 There's sometimes more. I pray in there, that room is a sanctuary. 00:53:50.261 --> 00:53:56.461 I know... If you only knew the things I've done in that bed. I would just get rid of it if I was you. 00:53:56.462 --> 00:54:00.462 Why are you bringing all of these men in here? Stick to your broomstick! 00:54:00.463 --> 00:54:09.193 C'mon. Move it! You've got a job to finish! 00:54:09.208 --> 00:54:10.730 Who could that be at this early hour? 00:54:10.731 --> 00:54:12.041 Enter. 00:54:18.866 --> 00:54:21.286 Her Majesty. 00:54:21.752 --> 00:54:24.716 Have you come to see me? 00:54:24.717 --> 00:54:27.722 Mr. Holmes, I have but two days left to live 00:54:27.723 --> 00:54:30.607 unless you can solve this case. 00:54:30.608 --> 00:54:33.773 My queen, do come in. 00:54:33.774 --> 00:54:38.943 I shall speak with Mr. Holmes in private. 00:54:38.944 --> 00:54:40.546 Your Majesty. 00:54:40.547 --> 00:54:42.190 You'll be happy to know 00:54:42.191 --> 00:54:45.035 that, just this morning we discovered a new clue. 00:54:45.036 --> 00:54:46.958 This chunk of coal. 00:54:46.959 --> 00:54:48.321 What does it mean? 00:54:48.322 --> 00:54:51.848 It's quite a mystery. 00:54:51.849 --> 00:54:53.651 Is this going to be a problem? 00:54:53.652 --> 00:54:55.122 Watson. 00:54:55.135 --> 00:54:57.178 Perhaps the Queen would enjoy some tea. 00:54:57.179 --> 00:55:00.143 Oh, yes, of course. 00:55:00.144 --> 00:55:03.630 Mr. Holmes, the empire is depending on you. 00:55:03.631 --> 00:55:07.317 Your Majesty, I now suspect two American women 00:55:07.318 --> 00:55:10.363 are somehow involved in this plot. 00:55:10.364 --> 00:55:11.674 Sorry. 00:55:12.168 --> 00:55:13.810 Your Majesty, 00:55:13.811 --> 00:55:16.815 do you think I could have a picture of us together? 00:55:16.816 --> 00:55:19.020 But who is going to take the photograph? 00:55:19.021 --> 00:55:21.023 Oh, no, I'll take the photograph. 00:55:21.024 --> 00:55:23.628 You see, it's a type of a self-photograph. 00:55:23.629 --> 00:55:26.072 I can take it, and I will be in it also. 00:55:26.073 --> 00:55:29.038 You know what? I find, to take the most attractive photographs, 00:55:29.039 --> 00:55:30.682 you need to purse your lips together 00:55:30.683 --> 00:55:32.845 like a duck-billed platypus. 00:55:32.846 --> 00:55:36.853 Platypus face. Chins up. 00:55:36.854 --> 00:55:39.378 Hey. Hey. Hey, girl. 00:55:39.379 --> 00:55:41.262 You know, maybe over by the window. 00:55:41.263 --> 00:55:44.708 The lighting's much better there. Yes, yes, capital idea. 00:55:44.709 --> 00:55:46.992 - Oh, God. Ma'am, ma'am. - Oh! Oh! 00:55:46.993 --> 00:55:48.836 Ma'am! Your Majesty. 00:55:48.837 --> 00:55:50.880 Oh, ma'am. Ma'am. 00:55:50.881 --> 00:55:52.821 Oh, dear. 00:55:53.285 --> 00:55:56.090 Tell me, Watson. 00:55:56.091 --> 00:55:58.501 She's dead. 00:55:59.096 --> 00:56:01.036 Dear God. 00:56:02.503 --> 00:56:04.787 We've killed the Queen. 00:56:04.788 --> 00:56:07.111 Are you all right, Your Majesty? 00:56:07.112 --> 00:56:08.102 Yes. 00:56:08.474 --> 00:56:10.157 - Yes, I'm all right. - Are you sure? 00:56:10.158 --> 00:56:11.800 Yes, I'm quite fine. 00:56:11.801 --> 00:56:16.408 My lover, John Watson, will take good care of me. 00:56:16.409 --> 00:56:18.853 Why did you want that photograph? 00:56:18.854 --> 00:56:21.177 I didn't want the photograph. 00:56:21.178 --> 00:56:23.141 What are you talking about? 00:56:23.142 --> 00:56:25.065 Mr. Holmes? Dr. Watson? 00:56:25.066 --> 00:56:26.988 I'm very, very safe. 00:56:26.989 --> 00:56:29.914 She's so dead. She's so dead. 00:56:29.915 --> 00:56:31.116 - I know. - Okay. 00:56:31.117 --> 00:56:33.121 We'll shove her down the toilet 00:56:33.122 --> 00:56:35.164 as if she was never here, and we'll deny ever seeing her. 00:56:35.165 --> 00:56:36.928 Right. Excellent. 00:56:36.929 --> 00:56:40.094 Come on. Come up. 00:56:40.095 --> 00:56:43.420 Here we are. Into the bathroom. 00:56:43.421 --> 00:56:45.023 Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson. 00:56:45.024 --> 00:56:46.505 What was the big bang? 00:56:46.506 --> 00:56:47.988 We must buy some time. 00:56:47.989 --> 00:56:49.351 Right. Let's get her to the door. 00:56:49.352 --> 00:56:51.115 Open this door! Wait. 00:56:51.116 --> 00:56:52.597 Hello. What do you want? 00:56:52.598 --> 00:56:54.000 Ma'am, are you all right? 00:56:54.001 --> 00:56:56.364 Yes, of course I'm fine. Can't you see? 00:56:56.365 --> 00:56:57.687 Yes, of course, ma'am. I'm so sorry. 00:56:57.688 --> 00:56:58.889 We've got it from here, boys. Thank you. 00:56:58.890 --> 00:57:01.494 - We're good. - Yes, sir. 00:57:01.495 --> 00:57:02.816 The trunk. Yes. 00:57:02.817 --> 00:57:06.023 Yes, we'll mail her to Africa. 00:57:06.024 --> 00:57:07.586 Come on, ma'am. Sorry. 00:57:07.587 --> 00:57:08.708 There we go. 00:57:08.709 --> 00:57:10.030 Stuff her in there. 00:57:10.031 --> 00:57:11.273 Really thrust. 00:57:11.274 --> 00:57:13.437 Good. Good. 00:57:13.438 --> 00:57:15.200 Good. Good. 00:57:15.201 --> 00:57:16.843 - Hold on, Watson. - Come on, boys. 00:57:16.844 --> 00:57:18.807 Open the door! 00:57:18.808 --> 00:57:20.690 Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson. 00:57:20.691 --> 00:57:24.137 One, two, three. Watch your fingers. 00:57:24.138 --> 00:57:26.181 Open this door immediately! 00:57:26.182 --> 00:57:27.784 This is bad. 00:57:27.785 --> 00:57:30.229 You know what we must do. 00:57:30.230 --> 00:57:31.792 Grab your toolbox. 00:57:31.793 --> 00:57:35.920 Let me in! I'm breaking down the door! 00:57:35.921 --> 00:57:38.084 Bone saw. Bone saw. 00:57:38.085 --> 00:57:39.526 - Oh, God. - Come on! Push! Come on, together! 00:57:39.527 --> 00:57:42.372 Watson, toilet-sized chunks. 00:57:42.373 --> 00:57:46.843 Put your back into it! 00:57:47.062 --> 00:57:48.503 Good God! 00:57:48.504 --> 00:57:51.669 What have you done? 00:57:51.670 --> 00:57:54.410 Platypus lips. 00:58:00.126 --> 00:58:05.135 Can you send me a copy of the self-photograph? 00:58:05.136 --> 00:58:07.246 Absolutely. 00:58:07.460 --> 00:58:13.031 It will arrive at the palace in about a week. 00:58:13.032 --> 00:58:14.393 Gentlemen, 00:58:14.394 --> 00:58:18.160 you have two days to stop this killer. 00:58:18.161 --> 00:58:20.404 Yes, ma'am. 00:58:20.405 --> 00:58:24.245 God save the Queen. 00:58:26.817 --> 00:58:30.383 What a perfect day for a picnic at London's greatest spectacle, 00:58:30.384 --> 00:58:32.668 the Anglo-American Exhibition. 00:58:32.669 --> 00:58:34.711 A celebration of that special relationship 00:58:34.712 --> 00:58:36.595 between our nation and yours. 00:58:36.596 --> 00:58:38.679 Yes, such a special relationship 00:58:38.680 --> 00:58:40.723 between these two nations, 00:58:40.724 --> 00:58:42.807 although I could never live 00:58:42.808 --> 00:58:44.851 in a country with an unelected ruler 00:58:44.852 --> 00:58:46.013 like the Queen. 00:58:46.014 --> 00:58:48.017 Why ever not? 00:58:48.018 --> 00:58:50.261 In America, we have democracy. 00:58:50.262 --> 00:58:53.226 Our president is a person our people have all chosen. 00:58:53.227 --> 00:58:54.217 Mmm. 00:58:54.230 --> 00:58:58.597 An assurance that only the finest and most qualified man will lead, 00:58:58.598 --> 00:59:02.645 not a wealthy tyrant who cares for nothing but himself. 00:59:02.646 --> 00:59:05.409 But you have the electoral college, which surely will prevent 00:59:05.410 --> 00:59:07.855 some trumped-up charlatan from gaining power. 00:59:07.856 --> 00:59:09.577 Not always, unfortunately. 00:59:09.578 --> 00:59:11.822 It would be great to have a strong businessman. 00:59:11.823 --> 00:59:13.425 But a showman as well. 00:59:13.426 --> 00:59:14.907 I love a good show. 00:59:14.908 --> 00:59:16.538 America. 00:59:17.033 --> 00:59:29.733 We gave you your freedom, and now look what you've done with it. 00:59:42.962 --> 00:59:44.724 Remember, Watson. 00:59:44.725 --> 00:59:48.372 Relax them with small talk, then begin the seduction. 00:59:48.373 --> 00:59:50.094 I must say, she doesn't look 00:59:50.095 --> 00:59:53.301 like she could be an accessory to murder. 00:59:53.302 --> 00:59:57.228 Well, looks can be deceiving. 00:59:57.229 --> 00:59:59.753 Remember, we're here to seduce. 00:59:59.754 --> 01:00:03.961 These physical displays of strength will enchant them. 01:00:03.962 --> 01:00:04.792 Ah. 01:00:08.571 --> 01:00:10.052 I could use a bit of cocaine. 01:00:10.053 --> 01:00:15.503 Did you bring a vial with you? 01:00:15.504 --> 01:00:17.604 Very good. 01:00:24.962 --> 01:00:27.526 Are you all right? I'm... I'm exhausted. 01:00:27.527 --> 01:00:30.011 There is one test I can employ 01:00:30.012 --> 01:00:32.815 to prove she truly is who she says she is. 01:00:32.816 --> 01:00:34.299 Then do it, Holmes. 01:00:34.300 --> 01:00:39.829 Employ your last test. I simply must know. 01:00:39.830 --> 01:00:41.232 Help! John? 01:00:41.233 --> 01:00:42.995 - This man has been taken ill. - What? 01:00:42.996 --> 01:00:43.826 Oh! 01:00:45.441 --> 01:00:46.842 Let me see. 01:00:46.843 --> 01:00:48.886 If only there were a doctor present. 01:00:48.887 --> 01:00:52.212 Clearly, he's had a severe blow to his occipital bone. 01:00:52.213 --> 01:00:53.414 He's concussed. 01:00:53.415 --> 01:00:55.820 And I am a doctor. A doctor? 01:00:55.821 --> 01:00:59.026 A woman doctor. What times we live in. 01:00:59.027 --> 01:01:00.869 Could it be? 01:01:00.870 --> 01:01:03.675 Is Grace truly a doctor? 01:01:03.676 --> 01:01:06.199 Are her feelings of affection genuine? 01:01:06.200 --> 01:01:08.163 Then she's innocent. 01:01:08.164 --> 01:01:09.525 Watson, get up. 01:01:09.526 --> 01:01:10.888 We need to go see my brother. 01:01:10.889 --> 01:01:15.296 I love you, Grace. Oh! 01:01:15.297 --> 01:01:17.901 The legendary Diogenes Men's Club. 01:01:17.902 --> 01:01:20.426 Home of London's most awkward gentlemen 01:01:20.427 --> 01:01:23.432 and my brother. 01:01:23.433 --> 01:01:24.794 Holmes. Mmm. 01:01:24.795 --> 01:01:26.317 I can't believe you have a brother. 01:01:26.318 --> 01:01:28.321 Yes, but we're nothing alike. 01:01:28.322 --> 01:01:30.766 He's an arrogant man who never appreciates 01:01:30.767 --> 01:01:32.529 the people around him. 01:01:32.530 --> 01:01:35.740 Follow me. Here. 01:01:38.462 --> 01:01:41.832 Well, well, well. 01:01:42.470 --> 01:01:45.835 So you are finally seeking your brother's help. 01:01:45.836 --> 01:01:47.998 I must say, I'm not surprised. 01:01:47.999 --> 01:01:50.644 And this vague assembly of limbs and fatty tissue, 01:01:50.645 --> 01:01:52.167 I assume, is Dr. Watson. 01:01:52.168 --> 01:01:53.158 Mmm. 01:02:06.475 --> 01:02:11.123 So shall I get us started? 01:02:11.124 --> 01:02:12.967 Watson, please. 01:02:12.968 --> 01:02:15.010 We're in the middle of a conversation. 01:02:15.011 --> 01:02:16.853 Can't you see? 01:02:16.854 --> 01:02:18.697 When the two most brilliant minds in all of England 01:02:18.698 --> 01:02:20.060 have a fraternal bond, 01:02:20.061 --> 01:02:22.184 words are an inefficiency. 01:02:22.185 --> 01:02:24.749 We communicate without words, silently, 01:02:24.750 --> 01:02:27.233 from giant brain to gianter brain. 01:02:27.234 --> 01:02:29.037 Of course. 01:02:29.038 --> 01:02:34.598 I'll join in as I see fit. 01:02:34.769 --> 01:02:37.653 I can spare a few minutes to solve your little mystery 01:02:37.654 --> 01:02:40.779 and help quench your thirst for public adulation. 01:02:40.780 --> 01:02:43.264 My thirst is for logic. 01:02:43.265 --> 01:02:47.231 I don't care what the public thinks of London's best-loved detective, 01:02:47.232 --> 01:02:48.473 Sherlock Holmes. 01:02:48.474 --> 01:02:50.264 Thoughts. 01:02:50.278 --> 01:02:52.281 Me-Me talky. 01:02:52.282 --> 01:02:53.683 Me-Me talky. 01:02:53.684 --> 01:02:55.247 You find killer. 01:02:55.248 --> 01:02:58.453 Me-Me talky? We find killer? 01:02:58.454 --> 01:03:01.097 Watson, what are you trying to do? 01:03:01.098 --> 01:03:02.380 Trying to brain-speak. 01:03:02.381 --> 01:03:04.424 You're going to hurt yourself. 01:03:04.425 --> 01:03:06.428 Uh, sorry. 01:03:06.429 --> 01:03:08.913 Uh, perhaps the gentleman would be more comfortable 01:03:08.914 --> 01:03:11.758 in the companions' chamber. 01:03:11.759 --> 01:03:15.325 Perhaps, or perhaps I'd be comfortable here by the fire. 01:03:15.326 --> 01:03:16.767 In the companions' chamber, sir. 01:03:16.768 --> 01:03:18.090 Yes, fine. Of course. 01:03:18.091 --> 01:03:19.974 Great idea. Yeah, capital idea. 01:03:19.975 --> 01:03:21.617 I'll be in the companions' room. Yes. 01:03:21.618 --> 01:03:24.703 The equal companions' room, should you need me. 01:03:24.704 --> 01:03:27.904 It's just here. 01:03:31.596 --> 01:03:33.399 Please enjoy the company of your fellow companions. 01:03:33.400 --> 01:03:35.483 I see. Huh. 01:03:35.484 --> 01:03:40.092 Balloons are happy, but they're not alive. 01:03:40.093 --> 01:03:42.513 Fair enough. 01:03:46.224 --> 01:03:50.592 Who is this brilliant nemesis capable of besting me? 01:03:50.593 --> 01:03:54.038 If your nemesis were truly smarter than you, 01:03:54.039 --> 01:03:56.043 it could only be me. 01:03:56.044 --> 01:03:58.367 And as I am not the killer, one must conclude 01:03:58.368 --> 01:04:01.733 that the killer did not, nor could not, outwit you. 01:04:01.734 --> 01:04:04.858 If the killer is my intellectual inferior, 01:04:04.859 --> 01:04:07.063 how has he predicted my every move? 01:04:07.064 --> 01:04:08.786 The killer did not predict your actions. 01:04:08.787 --> 01:04:11.030 Our murderer is a student of yours, 01:04:11.031 --> 01:04:12.674 someone in your proximity. 01:04:12.675 --> 01:04:14.838 Someone who could observe you undetected. 01:04:14.839 --> 01:04:17.403 Someone who knows you better than anyone. 01:04:17.404 --> 01:04:18.926 His mind radiates wisdom. 01:04:18.927 --> 01:04:24.255 Sherlock Holmes has done it again! 01:04:24.256 --> 01:04:25.738 I am dying from anticipation. 01:04:25.739 --> 01:04:27.141 What did your brother tell you, Holmes? 01:04:27.142 --> 01:04:29.145 I believe I've cracked the case. 01:04:29.146 --> 01:04:31.950 It was in front of me the whole time, my dear Watson. 01:04:31.951 --> 01:04:33.273 Oh, do share. 01:04:33.274 --> 01:04:35.277 And ruin the suspense? 01:04:35.278 --> 01:04:37.922 I just thought, since I worked the case with you... 01:04:37.923 --> 01:04:41.123 And we're here. 01:04:42.090 --> 01:04:43.080 Now, 01:04:43.694 --> 01:04:47.219 you're all wondering why I gathered you here today. 01:04:47.220 --> 01:04:50.625 Prepare yourself to be astonished. 01:04:50.626 --> 01:04:52.028 The killer could only be a man 01:04:52.029 --> 01:04:54.633 who knew my actions at every turn. 01:04:54.634 --> 01:04:57.319 Who was present at every murder? 01:04:57.320 --> 01:04:58.310 Hmm? 01:04:58.722 --> 01:05:01.366 Who knows me better than anyone? 01:05:01.367 --> 01:05:04.372 It was you who arranged my birthday party 01:05:04.373 --> 01:05:07.297 and the cake which contained the first victim, 01:05:07.298 --> 01:05:11.065 initiating the events leading us to today. 01:05:11.066 --> 01:05:16.016 Dr. Watson is the killer. 01:05:16.997 --> 01:05:18.398 By studying my methods, 01:05:18.399 --> 01:05:21.564 you created a fake crime only you could solve. 01:05:21.565 --> 01:05:24.210 Why? I was to be so impressed 01:05:24.211 --> 01:05:27.055 that I would crown him co-detective. 01:05:27.056 --> 01:05:29.740 He wanted to rewrite history 01:05:29.741 --> 01:05:34.221 by becoming my partner. 01:05:35.432 --> 01:05:38.637 Okay. Now the part about how I could never have done it 01:05:38.638 --> 01:05:40.721 and on to the surprising real killer. 01:05:40.722 --> 01:05:42.324 I wonder who it's going to be. 01:05:42.325 --> 01:05:44.609 When one eliminates the impossible, 01:05:44.610 --> 01:05:47.494 whatever remains, however improbable, 01:05:47.495 --> 01:05:49.858 is the truth. 01:05:49.859 --> 01:05:52.503 But this is absurd. 01:05:52.504 --> 01:05:54.067 Holmes, you must know in your heart... 01:05:54.068 --> 01:05:56.110 The heart is for pumping blood. 01:05:56.111 --> 01:05:59.076 The truth is the truth! 01:05:59.077 --> 01:06:00.227 Truth 01:06:00.921 --> 01:06:04.927 is that I have devoted my life to you. 01:06:04.928 --> 01:06:06.450 And I was a fool to think 01:06:06.451 --> 01:06:08.454 you would ever consider me as a co-detective 01:06:08.455 --> 01:06:13.784 when you're incapable of thinking of me even as a friend! 01:06:13.785 --> 01:06:15.988 Inspector Lestrade, take him. 01:06:15.989 --> 01:06:17.271 Go on. 01:06:17.272 --> 01:06:18.674 The man is your closest friend. 01:06:18.675 --> 01:06:20.797 Your pursuit of Moriarty has failed. 01:06:20.798 --> 01:06:22.680 You have no suspects. 01:06:22.681 --> 01:06:25.286 The killer still threatens to kill the Queen. 01:06:25.287 --> 01:06:28.131 Is that a chance you're willing to take? 01:06:28.132 --> 01:06:31.342 Take him. What? 01:06:33.342 --> 01:06:35.505 Do you see his propensity for violence? 01:06:35.506 --> 01:06:37.990 - Do you still doubt me? - Calm down. 01:06:37.991 --> 01:06:43.720 I shall never again carry your blasted magnifying glasses 01:06:43.721 --> 01:06:46.205 or your jars of urine. 01:06:46.206 --> 01:06:48.570 Why are we even saving these? 01:06:48.571 --> 01:06:52.698 And you look stupid in that hat. 01:06:52.699 --> 01:06:57.908 Your head was not meant for hats. 01:06:57.909 --> 01:07:00.193 Unhand me! No! 01:07:00.194 --> 01:07:04.120 I'll never forget you, John. 01:07:04.121 --> 01:07:05.111 Why? 01:07:05.483 --> 01:07:07.927 John Watson devoted his life to you, 01:07:07.928 --> 01:07:09.770 and this is how you repay him? 01:07:09.771 --> 01:07:13.577 Back to America with your ham-dogs and hot-burgers. 01:07:13.578 --> 01:07:16.383 At least, in America, our system's fair. 01:07:16.384 --> 01:07:18.707 No citizen can be found guilty 01:07:18.708 --> 01:07:23.917 till his case is heard by a jury of white property-owning men. 01:07:23.918 --> 01:07:30.628 Millie, surely, you must understand. 01:07:35.621 --> 01:07:37.423 Fine, go! 01:07:37.424 --> 01:07:40.388 I'm the greatest detective who ever lived. 01:07:40.389 --> 01:07:42.833 You're welcome for solving this case. 01:07:42.834 --> 01:07:47.484 Sherlock abandons Watson! 01:08:01.710 --> 01:08:06.980 Sherlock a washed up loser! 01:08:39.181 --> 01:08:40.801 A tear? 01:08:41.987 --> 01:08:45.667 What is this tear? 01:08:46.475 --> 01:08:50.935 I... I can't stop it. 01:08:54.570 --> 01:09:02.050 What is this warm feeling in my chest? 01:09:03.548 --> 01:09:07.995 ♪ Why am I reeling in confusion? 01:09:07.996 --> 01:09:11.642 ♪ What is this fever in my head? 01:09:11.643 --> 01:09:13.165 ♪ Is it pox? 01:09:13.166 --> 01:09:14.607 ♪ Maybe gout 01:09:14.608 --> 01:09:17.614 ♪ I can't seem to work it out 01:09:17.615 --> 01:09:19.977 ♪ And why 01:09:19.978 --> 01:09:23.825 ♪ Don't I feel triumphant? 01:09:23.826 --> 01:09:26.671 ♪ And why does it seem less than right 01:09:26.672 --> 01:09:29.676 ♪ That Watson's going to hang tonight 01:09:29.677 --> 01:09:34.846 ♪ And gasp and thrash and choke until he's dead? 01:09:34.847 --> 01:09:38.453 ♪ What is this strange sensation 01:09:38.454 --> 01:09:41.138 ♪ Where did I go wrong? 01:09:41.139 --> 01:09:44.344 ♪ Why am I a sobbing, trembling mess? 01:09:44.345 --> 01:09:46.628 ♪ Soon my neck will snap in half 01:09:46.629 --> 01:09:49.354 ♪ I guess ♪ And yet I know somehow 01:09:49.355 --> 01:09:52.921 ♪ And yet right now ♪ If he could hear right now 01:09:52.922 --> 01:09:57.970 ♪ I would still forgive him 01:09:57.971 --> 01:10:01.331 ♪ More or less 01:10:01.618 --> 01:10:04.502 ♪ Please, I don't know Upon whom else to call 01:10:04.503 --> 01:10:07.348 ♪ Nothing is making any sense at all 01:10:07.349 --> 01:10:10.915 ♪ Speak! I need your voice To hear your voice 01:10:10.916 --> 01:10:16.966 ♪ So sweet, so pure, so wise 01:10:18.170 --> 01:10:21.935 ♪ Sometimes the irrational 01:10:21.936 --> 01:10:25.542 ♪ Is truer than the rational 01:10:25.543 --> 01:10:28.789 ♪ The heart can have its reasons 01:10:28.790 --> 01:10:33.117 ♪ Which the head knows nothing of 01:10:33.118 --> 01:10:36.122 ♪ Your brain says Watson's guilty 01:10:36.123 --> 01:10:40.291 ♪ But a stronger force says "No, he's not" 01:10:40.292 --> 01:10:42.094 ♪ What is that force? 01:10:42.095 --> 01:10:44.097 ♪ It's... It's... ♪ Yes? What? 01:10:44.098 --> 01:10:47.664 ♪ It's love... ♪ Love? 01:10:47.665 --> 01:10:51.592 ♪ It's love ♪ It's love 01:10:51.593 --> 01:10:53.716 ♪ It's love ♪ It's love 01:10:53.717 --> 01:10:56.601 ♪ It's love ♪ It's love ♪ 01:10:56.602 --> 01:10:58.084 My God. 01:10:58.085 --> 01:10:59.767 Did I push Watson away 01:10:59.768 --> 01:11:02.573 because I feared losing him to Grace? 01:11:02.574 --> 01:11:06.300 Somehow, I know in my heart... 01:11:06.301 --> 01:11:08.424 Watson is innocent! 01:11:08.425 --> 01:11:12.391 ♪ Time to go and save ♪ Come save me now 01:11:12.392 --> 01:11:21.248 ♪ The man I love ♪ ♪ The man I love ♪ 01:11:21.249 --> 01:11:22.719 Watson! 01:11:22.732 --> 01:11:25.937 I discovered my emotions, and I'm only 46. 01:11:25.938 --> 01:11:29.308 Hang! Hang! Hang! 01:11:32.431 --> 01:11:34.211 Oh, God. 01:11:34.475 --> 01:11:36.758 Hang Dr. Watson! Hang Dr. Watson! 01:11:36.759 --> 01:11:39.322 The dogs seem really unnecessary. 01:11:39.323 --> 01:11:41.113 Sherlock. 01:11:41.889 --> 01:11:42.719 Oh. 01:11:43.251 --> 01:11:45.341 It's you. 01:11:45.495 --> 01:11:49.495 You've brought cake. 01:11:54.352 --> 01:11:56.596 Watson! My brother! 01:11:56.597 --> 01:11:58.559 Watson, where are you? 01:11:58.560 --> 01:11:59.882 Where... 01:11:59.883 --> 01:12:02.763 I'm too late. 01:12:06.295 --> 01:12:07.765 Clever. 01:12:07.898 --> 01:12:11.428 Very, very clever. 01:12:17.396 --> 01:12:19.960 You were always so clever, 01:12:19.961 --> 01:12:23.126 and I never appreciated it. 01:12:23.127 --> 01:12:25.290 But it's not too late to make amends. 01:12:25.291 --> 01:12:26.761 Watson! 01:12:26.814 --> 01:12:34.508 I shouldn't have wasted all my time singing! 01:12:34.509 --> 01:12:36.191 Ah! Grimy news kids. 01:12:36.192 --> 01:12:37.994 I desperately need your help. 01:12:37.995 --> 01:12:39.838 Dr. Watson's in grave danger. 01:12:39.839 --> 01:12:41.440 Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. 01:12:41.441 --> 01:12:43.004 Because of you, you wank! 01:12:43.005 --> 01:12:44.246 I know. 01:12:44.247 --> 01:12:46.009 But I know of a way to save him. 01:12:46.010 --> 01:12:48.254 Please, please help me. 01:12:48.255 --> 01:12:54.546 I must find a way to the docks immediately. 01:12:54.547 --> 01:12:56.028 "Moriarty's daughter 01:12:56.029 --> 01:12:58.233 "did the one thing Moriarty never could. 01:12:58.234 --> 01:13:02.881 "She defeated Sherlock Holmes and assassinated the Queen. 01:13:02.882 --> 01:13:05.526 "Sherlock Holmes, the man whom I regarded 01:13:05.527 --> 01:13:10.616 "as the best and the wisest man whom I would ever know 01:13:10.617 --> 01:13:13.507 "was a fraud." 01:13:16.870 --> 01:13:18.512 It is done. 01:13:18.513 --> 01:13:21.597 A devilish plan worthy of your father. 01:13:21.598 --> 01:13:26.406 The last book in the Sherlock Holmes canon is complete, 01:13:26.407 --> 01:13:29.452 The Case of the Defeated Detective. 01:13:29.453 --> 01:13:32.658 Daddy will be so proud. 01:13:32.659 --> 01:13:34.261 Sherlock will be remembered 01:13:34.262 --> 01:13:37.267 as the man who failed to protect the Queen. 01:13:37.268 --> 01:13:38.991 History shall be rewritten 01:13:38.992 --> 01:13:43.438 at the hand of his loyal partner, Dr. Watson. 01:13:43.439 --> 01:13:45.362 I've done your bidding. 01:13:45.363 --> 01:13:47.686 Now set me free. 01:13:47.687 --> 01:13:50.132 You're gonna die here. 01:13:50.133 --> 01:13:51.694 You gave me your word. 01:13:51.695 --> 01:13:53.297 You swore on the life of the Queen. 01:13:53.298 --> 01:13:57.024 I'm gonna kill the Queen, you big eejit. Boys! 01:13:57.025 --> 01:13:58.988 Mrs. Hudson is the killer? Mmm-hmm. 01:13:58.989 --> 01:14:00.190 Gorblimey! 01:14:00.191 --> 01:14:01.674 How'd you work that out? 01:14:01.675 --> 01:14:03.958 Why, it was Watson who told me. 01:14:03.959 --> 01:14:06.522 You see, beet sugar. 01:14:06.523 --> 01:14:09.368 Mrs. Hudson's family recipe and Watson's favorite. 01:14:09.369 --> 01:14:10.971 He never would have left crumbs behind 01:14:10.972 --> 01:14:12.814 unless he was leaving me a clue. 01:14:12.815 --> 01:14:16.301 For, you see, Mrs. Hudson's origins are not so humble. 01:14:16.302 --> 01:14:20.028 She is none other than the daughter of Professor James Moriarty. 01:14:20.029 --> 01:14:21.592 No, it ain't possible. 01:14:21.593 --> 01:14:24.837 You see, Mrs. Hudson never knew her father. 01:14:24.838 --> 01:14:26.401 He was never present. 01:14:26.402 --> 01:14:28.203 To gain his love, 01:14:28.204 --> 01:14:30.127 she tried to pull off the greatest crime ever. 01:14:30.128 --> 01:14:33.133 Destroy the great Sherlock Holmes. 01:14:33.134 --> 01:14:36.580 She took a job at my house in order to study my methods, 01:14:36.581 --> 01:14:39.906 then used a network of patsies to execute her plans. 01:14:39.907 --> 01:14:42.831 However, it wasn't until I understood feelings 01:14:42.832 --> 01:14:44.835 that I understood her motive, 01:14:44.836 --> 01:14:47.641 her need for her father's love. 01:14:47.642 --> 01:14:50.807 She would gain it by eliminating his greatest enemy, 01:14:50.808 --> 01:14:51.638 me. 01:14:52.451 --> 01:14:56.578 And tonight, she will commit her boldest crime yet, 01:14:56.579 --> 01:15:00.104 killing the Queen here! 01:15:00.105 --> 01:15:01.948 The Titanic. 01:15:01.949 --> 01:15:03.951 The marvel of London. 01:15:03.952 --> 01:15:07.959 A new castle, which runs on coal. 01:15:07.960 --> 01:15:10.645 Your Majesty, may I introduce Lieutenant Morgan. 01:15:10.646 --> 01:15:12.408 Lieutenant. 01:15:12.409 --> 01:15:14.773 First Officer Carter. 01:15:14.774 --> 01:15:17.297 - Your Majesty. - First Officer. 01:15:17.298 --> 01:15:19.902 Look, Hudson's goons. 01:15:19.903 --> 01:15:23.108 - Create a diversion. - You go and save Dr. Watson, Mr. Holmes. 01:15:23.109 --> 01:15:24.350 We'll take care of this lot. 01:15:24.351 --> 01:15:26.154 Come on, you tom tit! 01:15:26.155 --> 01:15:29.680 You ain't bigger than a couple of powder monkeys. 01:15:29.681 --> 01:15:31.484 Is there a problem, boys? 01:15:31.485 --> 01:15:34.089 Think we can take them, lads. Aye? 01:15:34.090 --> 01:15:36.253 Walk away now, and I promise you won't get hurt. 01:15:36.254 --> 01:15:38.898 A bunch of runts and a couple of ladies? 01:15:38.899 --> 01:15:41.959 American ladies. 01:15:45.271 --> 01:15:47.841 Not my eyes! 01:15:51.403 --> 01:15:54.127 I'm sorry to do this, Dr. Watson. 01:15:54.128 --> 01:15:56.812 I'm gonna crush your head. 01:15:56.813 --> 01:15:59.737 There's gonna be brains everywhere. 01:15:59.738 --> 01:16:02.342 And I'll not be cleaning up after. 01:16:02.343 --> 01:16:03.865 I know you're threatening me, 01:16:03.866 --> 01:16:06.230 but I can't understand a word you're saying. 01:16:06.231 --> 01:16:08.755 You're staying, Dr. Watson, 01:16:08.756 --> 01:16:12.562 but I'll be on my way to America by the time the bomb explodes. 01:16:12.563 --> 01:16:14.005 Sherlock will save me. 01:16:14.006 --> 01:16:15.929 You'll see. I'll see. 01:16:15.930 --> 01:16:17.772 He won't let me down. 01:16:17.773 --> 01:16:21.539 He won't. He's my best friend! 01:16:21.540 --> 01:16:23.330 Dollface! 01:16:27.511 --> 01:16:29.234 Come on, boys. 01:16:29.235 --> 01:16:32.079 The bomb goes off in 10 minutes. Sherlock! 01:16:32.080 --> 01:16:33.870 Sherlock! 01:16:34.805 --> 01:16:36.968 Help! Help! 01:16:36.969 --> 01:16:38.759 Sherlock! 01:16:39.254 --> 01:16:40.404 Help! 01:16:42.059 --> 01:16:43.529 Watson! 01:16:45.546 --> 01:16:49.472 Oh, God, if you save me, I'll never touch myself again. 01:16:49.473 --> 01:16:51.917 Watson! Oh, Sherlock. 01:16:51.918 --> 01:16:53.680 You've come for me. I knew you would. 01:16:53.681 --> 01:16:56.005 Watson, good news. 01:16:56.006 --> 01:16:58.209 You're innocent. 01:16:58.210 --> 01:17:00.052 Yes. I know. 01:17:00.053 --> 01:17:02.256 Oh. Thank you. 01:17:02.257 --> 01:17:04.180 Can you forgive me? Of course. 01:17:04.181 --> 01:17:06.745 Now, be a good chap, and get me out of this damn thing 01:17:06.746 --> 01:17:08.588 before it crushes my skull. 01:17:08.589 --> 01:17:10.231 Yes? There's a good chap. Go on. 01:17:10.232 --> 01:17:12.836 I won't leave you. Not again. 01:17:12.837 --> 01:17:15.201 That's a lovely sentiment, but I really need you 01:17:15.202 --> 01:17:17.245 to free me from this gear right now. 01:17:17.246 --> 01:17:19.850 Emotions are spewing from my heart. 01:17:19.851 --> 01:17:21.533 Pull yourself together. Okay. 01:17:21.534 --> 01:17:23.617 Stop crying. 01:17:23.618 --> 01:17:25.220 Because we must get the Queen and everyone else off this ship. 01:17:25.221 --> 01:17:27.104 You see, Hudson has planted a bomb. 01:17:27.105 --> 01:17:28.947 A time bomb, you see? 01:17:28.948 --> 01:17:31.111 You must free me. Do you feel my heart ticking? 01:17:31.112 --> 01:17:33.115 Get me off this fucking wheel! 01:17:33.116 --> 01:17:35.881 All my dreams are coming true. 01:17:35.882 --> 01:17:40.208 In just two minutes, my bomb will go off, killing the Queen. 01:17:40.209 --> 01:17:42.453 Sherlock Holmes will go down in history 01:17:42.454 --> 01:17:45.979 as the worst detective the world has ever known. 01:17:45.980 --> 01:17:51.470 And the name Moriarty will live on forever! 01:17:51.471 --> 01:17:52.941 Father, 01:17:53.235 --> 01:17:55.998 soon, we shall be together again. 01:17:55.999 --> 01:18:00.169 - In America! - Yeah! 01:18:05.938 --> 01:18:08.703 The bomb will detonate in one minute. 01:18:08.704 --> 01:18:11.829 Where could it possibly be? 01:18:11.830 --> 01:18:12.980 Wait. 01:18:13.232 --> 01:18:15.155 That kettle drum. 01:18:15.156 --> 01:18:18.281 Those are only ever used in mounted cavalry formations, 01:18:18.282 --> 01:18:20.365 never in a Marine band. 01:18:20.366 --> 01:18:21.687 Perhaps... 01:18:21.688 --> 01:18:24.332 The bomb is in the drum. Very good, Watson. 01:18:24.333 --> 01:18:26.136 But the Queen is standing just beside it. 01:18:26.137 --> 01:18:27.618 She'll be blown to smithereens. 01:18:27.619 --> 01:18:30.825 But how to defuse it in time? 01:18:30.826 --> 01:18:34.592 Time remaining until bomb detonation, 55 seconds. 01:18:34.593 --> 01:18:38.159 Estimated blast radius from bomb, 17 feet. 01:18:38.160 --> 01:18:41.365 Time required to move queen to safety, 12 seconds. 01:18:41.366 --> 01:18:43.249 Solution, move through crowd, 01:18:43.250 --> 01:18:46.454 see Millie for the first time, forget about bomb... 01:18:46.455 --> 01:18:47.285 No. 01:18:51.545 --> 01:18:53.508 Time remaining, 37 seconds. 01:18:53.509 --> 01:18:56.073 Solution, shoot water main to douse bomb, 01:18:56.074 --> 01:18:58.077 remember Millie at the park, forget about bomb. 01:18:58.078 --> 01:19:03.647 No, I forgot about the bomb! 01:19:03.648 --> 01:19:06.333 Watson, what are you doing in my brain? 01:19:06.334 --> 01:19:07.775 I'm doing it. 01:19:07.776 --> 01:19:10.380 I'm communicating without words. 01:19:10.381 --> 01:19:13.066 I can't focus. I was trying to formulate a plan, 01:19:13.067 --> 01:19:15.069 and I kept getting off track. 01:19:15.070 --> 01:19:17.674 Holmes, no, you don't. Snap out of it. 01:19:17.675 --> 01:19:19.477 I can't. I'm too emotional. 01:19:19.478 --> 01:19:22.123 Look behind me. The Queen's being blown to bits. 01:19:22.124 --> 01:19:23.805 You have to take control. 01:19:23.806 --> 01:19:26.009 You must be detective for both of us. 01:19:26.010 --> 01:19:27.320 Right. 01:19:28.696 --> 01:19:30.257 I know what I must do. 01:19:30.258 --> 01:19:32.262 Estimated blast radius, 01:19:32.263 --> 01:19:34.145 20... No, 30 feet? 01:19:34.146 --> 01:19:35.588 Account for ship's movement. 01:19:35.589 --> 01:19:37.271 Wait. Is that a four or a seven? 01:19:37.272 --> 01:19:39.155 Math is so hard. Hold on. 01:19:39.156 --> 01:19:41.118 What does that "X" mean? Or is that a plus? 01:19:41.119 --> 01:19:42.922 What is that thing? Angle of approach? 01:19:42.923 --> 01:19:44.445 Oh, I don't know how to do angles. 01:19:44.446 --> 01:19:45.607 Should have listened more in school. 01:19:45.608 --> 01:19:49.134 Oh, screw it. Charge! 01:19:49.135 --> 01:19:50.536 Out of my way! 01:19:50.537 --> 01:19:51.687 Move! 01:19:52.221 --> 01:19:54.864 Nine, eight... 01:19:54.865 --> 01:19:56.387 Coming through! 01:19:56.388 --> 01:19:59.193 So sorry! ...seven... 01:19:59.194 --> 01:20:00.635 Come on. 01:20:00.636 --> 01:20:02.038 Move your tuchis! 01:20:02.039 --> 01:20:04.779 Sorry, friend! 01:20:05.045 --> 01:20:06.675 ...five, 01:20:06.968 --> 01:20:08.438 four... 01:20:11.016 --> 01:20:12.806 ...two... 01:20:17.068 --> 01:20:19.008 Aw, shit! 01:20:24.081 --> 01:20:25.443 Huzzah. 01:20:25.444 --> 01:20:27.527 Huzzah for Sherlock Holmes. 01:20:27.528 --> 01:20:31.094 Sherlock Holmes saved the Titanic. 01:20:31.095 --> 01:20:33.337 - Huzzah! - Hurrah for Sherlock! 01:20:33.338 --> 01:20:35.021 Bravo, Sherlock! 01:20:35.022 --> 01:20:36.584 Sherlock Holmes was right about everything! 01:20:36.585 --> 01:20:38.708 Hip hip hooray! 01:20:38.709 --> 01:20:41.633 Thank you. Thank you. 01:20:41.634 --> 01:20:44.519 But I could never have done it without Dr. Watson. 01:20:44.520 --> 01:20:48.927 Oh, no. Let Watson's name be forever associated 01:20:48.928 --> 01:20:51.172 with the Titanic. 01:20:51.173 --> 01:20:55.139 So, when you think of your friends and relatives on board the Titanic, 01:20:55.140 --> 01:20:56.782 just remember, 01:20:56.783 --> 01:21:01.471 Dr. John H. Watson put them there. 01:21:01.472 --> 01:21:03.475 Hooray for Watson! 01:21:03.476 --> 01:21:06.801 Bloody good we didn't hang him. 01:21:06.802 --> 01:21:09.062 Dr. Watson, 01:21:09.127 --> 01:21:10.889 you saved us. 01:21:10.890 --> 01:21:12.613 Thank you. 01:21:12.614 --> 01:21:22.634 It has been my pleasure to serve you, Your Majesty. 01:21:31.609 --> 01:21:33.869 No, Millie. 01:21:43.592 --> 01:21:45.715 I have a confession to make. 01:21:45.716 --> 01:21:48.400 I'm not actually in love with you. 01:21:48.401 --> 01:21:50.645 In order to conclude my investigation, 01:21:50.646 --> 01:21:54.252 it was imperative that I understood what love felt like. 01:21:54.253 --> 01:21:56.857 I'm sorry to have led you on. 01:21:56.858 --> 01:21:58.539 I have a confession as well. 01:21:58.540 --> 01:22:00.183 I was also not in love. 01:22:00.184 --> 01:22:01.786 I was conducting an experiment 01:22:01.787 --> 01:22:04.631 on how easy it is to manipulate the male ego. 01:22:04.632 --> 01:22:07.878 What? I'm sorry I led you on. 01:22:07.879 --> 01:22:10.282 Well, I have another confession. 01:22:10.283 --> 01:22:12.927 Hmm. I was just pretending to have a big ego 01:22:12.928 --> 01:22:15.732 so as to make you think that your experiment was working 01:22:15.733 --> 01:22:17.897 so that I could conclude my experiment on you. 01:22:17.898 --> 01:22:19.820 Well, I had to lead you on 01:22:19.821 --> 01:22:22.305 because I was doing an experiment about how men think 01:22:22.306 --> 01:22:24.309 they can manipulate female scientists while they're doing experiments. 01:22:24.310 --> 01:22:31.960 Well, I have another confession to make. 01:22:37.775 --> 01:22:41.581 You will be shocked to learn that was my first kiss. 01:22:41.582 --> 01:22:44.147 Mine as well, and we've already mastered it. 01:22:44.148 --> 01:22:45.509 Yes, indeed. 01:22:45.510 --> 01:22:47.352 All aboard! 01:22:47.353 --> 01:22:49.957 She sails in 20 minutes! 01:22:49.958 --> 01:22:51.921 Hurry, everyone! Step lively! 01:22:51.922 --> 01:22:54.606 Enjoy your trip on the safest ship to sail. 01:22:54.607 --> 01:22:56.009 Goodbye. 01:22:56.010 --> 01:22:57.532 Farewell, Grace. 01:22:57.533 --> 01:22:58.774 Goodbye, Millie. 01:22:58.775 --> 01:23:01.340 Make sure you get plenty of bed rest. 01:23:01.341 --> 01:23:03.022 There's a good chance you're pregnant. 01:23:03.023 --> 01:23:04.185 I hope so. 01:23:04.186 --> 01:23:07.270 From... From the kissing? 01:23:07.271 --> 01:23:10.161 Yes. Oh, yes. 01:23:10.398 --> 01:23:12.079 What a grand ship. 01:23:12.080 --> 01:23:13.070 Yes. 01:23:13.202 --> 01:23:15.782 Watson, look. 01:23:16.128 --> 01:23:18.652 It's Billy Zane. 01:23:18.653 --> 01:23:20.443 Sherlock. 01:23:21.418 --> 01:23:24.543 Wow. He's breathtaking. 01:23:24.544 --> 01:23:30.594 Where's the bar on this canoe? 01:23:30.956 --> 01:23:32.799 Holmes. Mmm. 01:23:32.800 --> 01:23:35.124 I believe I may have solved the one mystery 01:23:35.125 --> 01:23:38.449 which has baffled you all these years. 01:23:38.450 --> 01:23:39.600 What? 01:23:43.380 --> 01:23:46.430 Would you mind? 01:23:46.787 --> 01:23:47.617 Ah. 01:23:48.068 --> 01:23:49.310 Do you like it? 01:23:49.311 --> 01:23:51.795 Let's see here. Huh? 01:23:51.796 --> 01:23:53.838 Oh, it suits you. Mmm. 01:23:53.839 --> 01:23:56.323 I think it's perfect. Really? 01:23:56.324 --> 01:23:59.851 You're not just saying that? No, I'm not just saying it. 01:23:59.852 --> 01:24:02.014 Good. Thank you, Watson. 01:24:02.015 --> 01:24:03.898 And I have something for you as well. 01:24:03.899 --> 01:24:06.342 No. No. Please. Step over here. 01:24:06.343 --> 01:24:10.630 Why? I don't deserve anything. 01:24:10.631 --> 01:24:12.515 My dear Watson. 01:24:12.516 --> 01:24:14.317 What do you think? 01:24:14.318 --> 01:24:17.368 It's beautiful. 01:24:43.575 --> 01:24:48.542 Telegram for Professor Moriarty. 01:24:48.543 --> 01:24:50.493 Professor? 01:24:57.000 --> 01:25:00.840 Boy, who sent this?