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WEBVTT - https://subtitletools.com 00:00:59.500 --> 00:01:02.273 Another bad dream, baby? 00:01:02.880 --> 00:01:04.805 Just go back to sleep. 00:01:32.960 --> 00:01:35.040 Yes! 00:01:37.060 --> 00:01:39.042 Travis. 00:01:40.380 --> 00:01:44.320 - Hey, what's up, Max? - Can I... talk to you for a minute? 00:01:44.980 --> 00:01:47.400 Yeah, okay. 00:01:48.200 --> 00:01:52.740 All right, up and at them, ladies. Up and at them! 00:01:53.198 --> 00:01:55.240 Oh, God! 00:01:56.640 --> 00:01:58.620 Sorry. 00:01:58.720 --> 00:02:00.200 What are you doing here? 00:02:00.500 --> 00:02:03.160 What do you mean? My first threesome. I owned it. 00:02:03.260 --> 00:02:06.540 Actually it was a little more work than I thought it was gonna be. 00:02:06.640 --> 00:02:07.960 - Congrats. - Thanks. 00:02:08.060 --> 00:02:10.780 But what did I say about using my place for sex? 00:02:10.880 --> 00:02:13.740 - I don't know. - I said use your own place. 00:02:14.140 --> 00:02:17.320 And risk having these chicks know where I live? I mean, you know I can't do that. 00:02:17.420 --> 00:02:18.980 Yea, but Evelyn slept over, man. 00:02:19.080 --> 00:02:21.740 If she knows you are here she is gonna shit a Prius! 00:02:21.840 --> 00:02:25.140 Come on, this should be cool with you. We're brothers. 00:02:25.240 --> 00:02:27.700 Half brothers technically. 00:02:27.800 --> 00:02:31.536 From the same sac. I can't believe you would say that. 00:02:31.900 --> 00:02:34.200 I'm disappointed in you. 00:02:34.300 --> 00:02:37.780 How do you get these girls to bang you, I will never know. 00:02:38.480 --> 00:02:41.060 You see, it's not about banging. It's about love. 00:02:41.160 --> 00:02:45.400 I love these girls with everything I got. I care about Leikeidra and Lashanda. 00:02:45.500 --> 00:02:48.160 I care about them so much. 00:02:48.260 --> 00:02:50.800 No, no, not... not from the bottle. 00:02:52.860 --> 00:02:57.280 - Sorry, I lost electrolytes back there. - Oh, great. Now would you please go? 00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:01.280 Just keep your voice down. 00:03:01.380 --> 00:03:03.520 - Where are the eggs? - What eggs? 00:03:03.620 --> 00:03:06.564 The eggs. I always down one raw egg after busting a night, 00:03:06.664 --> 00:03:10.740 and right now I need three. Make that four raw eggs, stat. 00:03:12.159 --> 00:03:15.760 I don't know. Evelyn doesn't let me have any food that's not vegan. 00:03:15.860 --> 00:03:18.300 So, you're saying you got no eggs? 00:03:19.340 --> 00:03:21.080 Oh, my God. 00:03:21.180 --> 00:03:23.200 When are you gonna nad up to this broad? 00:03:23.300 --> 00:03:25.860 I mean, first she makes you to sell your car because it wasn't a hybrid, 00:03:25.960 --> 00:03:27.780 now she is screwing with your diet? 00:03:27.880 --> 00:03:32.840 Yeah, well, when you meet a girl that's half as hot and intelligent 00:03:32.940 --> 00:03:36.040 and concerned about the environment as Evelyn, 00:03:36.140 --> 00:03:38.120 - we will talk. - I don't... think I want that. 00:03:38.220 --> 00:03:40.430 - Yo! - Oh, shit! 00:03:40.530 --> 00:03:45.180 Hey! Mary-Kate, Ashley, get your stuff and whatever is left of your dignity 00:03:45.280 --> 00:03:47.840 out of the apartment, please. Thank you! 00:03:47.940 --> 00:03:50.080 - Travis? - Hey, how are you? 00:03:50.180 --> 00:03:52.850 - You can go to hell. - Yes, yes, ma'am. 00:03:52.950 --> 00:03:54.760 Come on! Chop-chop ladies. Let's go. 00:03:54.860 --> 00:03:58.060 You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. 00:03:58.160 --> 00:04:01.700 I suggest go to the nearest church or Planned Parenthood. 00:04:02.400 --> 00:04:04.966 - Is that... - I think you should probably wash this. 00:04:05.066 --> 00:04:07.360 - Is that my sheet? - It's not mine. 00:04:07.460 --> 00:04:09.440 Just... just take it with you. 00:04:09.540 --> 00:04:12.160 Hey, whatever happens, I'm here for you, brother. 00:04:12.260 --> 00:04:14.940 He is your half brother. Half! 00:04:16.140 --> 00:04:18.960 That was a little harsh, don't you think, Ev? 00:04:19.060 --> 00:04:23.100 No. I'm only trying to help him. Okay? 00:04:23.200 --> 00:04:26.120 You're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 00:04:26.220 --> 00:04:28.140 It's okay. 00:04:28.240 --> 00:04:30.608 But you can make it up to me. 00:04:31.308 --> 00:04:35.400 You know. Little bit of... breakfast sex. 00:04:35.724 --> 00:04:37.940 I'm already late for work as it is. 00:04:38.040 --> 00:04:41.460 Then you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. 00:04:42.744 --> 00:04:45.860 All right, okay. Alright, but it's gotta be a quickie. 00:04:45.960 --> 00:04:47.940 Who said it was going to take long? 00:05:34.900 --> 00:05:37.467 Who dare call Bloody Mary's? 00:05:37.567 --> 00:05:39.140 Hi, Mary. 00:05:39.240 --> 00:05:44.660 Yeah, I'm here. I'm sorry I'm late. Something... came up. 00:05:45.420 --> 00:05:50.740 Yup, I'm gonna dress the windows right now and then I will clean the bathrooms. 00:05:50.840 --> 00:05:54.720 - You better. - Okay, bye-bye. 00:05:54.820 --> 00:05:56.823 Delivery! 00:05:57.420 --> 00:05:59.600 Ghoul morning, Chuck. 00:06:00.600 --> 00:06:03.247 I can't believe your boss makes you greet people that way. 00:06:03.347 --> 00:06:05.720 Yeah, she says it adds to the ambience. 00:06:06.320 --> 00:06:09.240 My condolences. Sign that. 00:06:09.340 --> 00:06:11.360 Tell you what, though, when I own my own shop, 00:06:11.460 --> 00:06:13.420 I'm going to greet the customers the way I want to. 00:06:13.520 --> 00:06:15.860 Hey, that'll be the day. 00:06:16.737 --> 00:06:18.120 Thanks. 00:06:18.220 --> 00:06:19.900 And the last one. 00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:22.480 All right. Thank you, Chuck, and go to hell. 00:06:22.780 --> 00:06:25.600 You're welcome and go to hell, Max. 00:06:52.400 --> 00:06:54.811 I didn't order you. 00:07:00.940 --> 00:07:02.920 Satan genie. 00:07:03.320 --> 00:07:08.690 "Make any want, wish or desire yours, the evil way." 00:07:16.780 --> 00:07:20.020 Live Green or Blog Hard. Saving the world, one blog at a time. 00:07:20.120 --> 00:07:23.180 I just got a shipping of costumes. You wanna play dress up? 00:07:23.280 --> 00:07:27.500 - That depends on what you got. - Well, there is naughty nurse, 00:07:27.600 --> 00:07:32.140 mischievous maid, slutty schoolgirl and hussy housewife. 00:07:32.640 --> 00:07:34.660 My favorites. 00:07:35.360 --> 00:07:40.300 Let me just finish up this blog and I will be there in a jiff. 00:07:52.360 --> 00:07:55.840 That was fang-tastic. 00:08:06.500 --> 00:08:10.160 Your boss needs to replace these incandescent tubes with compact fluorescents. 00:08:10.360 --> 00:08:12.020 CFLs last up to ten times longer 00:08:12.120 --> 00:08:15.380 and she'll be cutting her energy bill by more than half. 00:08:15.980 --> 00:08:19.220 I love it when you speak green. 00:08:19.320 --> 00:08:23.872 Well, I'm just trying to... curb your carbon footprint. 00:08:24.400 --> 00:08:30.040 So when I open Max's Scare Shack, you can be my environmental consultant. 00:08:30.340 --> 00:08:32.660 Okay, here we go again with that. 00:08:32.760 --> 00:08:35.260 - Ev... - Look... 00:08:35.360 --> 00:08:38.440 werewolves and vampires and zombies, they are figments. 00:08:38.540 --> 00:08:41.180 - Max, they're not real. - And? 00:08:41.380 --> 00:08:43.120 And why waste your time, hawking this crap 00:08:43.220 --> 00:08:46.931 when there are so many real problems in the world. 00:08:47.200 --> 00:08:49.980 And look at this, okay? 00:08:50.780 --> 00:08:53.003 Satan genie. 00:08:53.103 --> 00:08:58.220 "Make any want, wish or desire yours, the evil way." 00:08:58.320 --> 00:09:00.320 It's a load of horseshit. 00:09:00.420 --> 00:09:02.860 Yeah, but that's why this stuff is so important. 00:09:02.960 --> 00:09:06.980 It challenges us to stop accepting the world and you know, 00:09:07.080 --> 00:09:12.540 face our inner monster and find the strength to conquer it. 00:09:13.240 --> 00:09:17.657 - It's a bit of a stretch, Max. - Yeah, well, you say that now, 00:09:17.757 --> 00:09:23.560 but who will you turn to when the world is taken over by zombies? 00:09:26.966 --> 00:09:29.560 You make me laugh. 00:09:29.660 --> 00:09:32.403 Glad to be of service. 00:09:32.803 --> 00:09:34.740 Serious. 00:09:37.160 --> 00:09:39.696 Once I lost my mom, 00:09:40.760 --> 00:09:43.420 a part of me just shut off. 00:09:43.520 --> 00:09:47.140 Like a piece of me died with her and... 00:09:47.740 --> 00:09:50.120 and I found you. 00:09:50.440 --> 00:09:52.852 You brought me back to life. 00:09:53.452 --> 00:09:56.340 Promise me we'll always be like this. 00:09:56.440 --> 00:09:59.760 I promise we will always be together. 00:09:59.860 --> 00:10:02.520 Always and forever. 00:10:22.840 --> 00:10:26.920 Well, welcome to your new home. 00:10:28.740 --> 00:10:31.480 Our new home. 00:10:37.080 --> 00:10:38.609 Lugosi did kick the habit, 00:10:38.709 --> 00:10:42.123 but I think there's a YouTube video of him leaving rehab. Which is great. 00:10:42.223 --> 00:10:45.087 Yeah, that's great, but that's why you should never put anything unnatural 00:10:45.187 --> 00:10:47.780 into your body, Max. I just wrote a blog about this. 00:10:47.880 --> 00:10:51.060 I feel like a malted. Do you want a malted? 00:10:51.160 --> 00:10:56.428 - Max, you know I don't drink milk. - Come on, Ev. Live a little. 00:10:56.528 --> 00:10:58.480 This stuff in that kills you. 00:11:11.480 --> 00:11:12.986 Oh, my God. 00:11:13.086 --> 00:11:15.570 Hello. Welcome to Ice Cream. 00:11:15.670 --> 00:11:18.220 Look at all these flavors, Ev. 00:11:18.320 --> 00:11:22.540 Everything's home made by yours truly and everything truly kicks ass. 00:11:23.140 --> 00:11:26.541 Ginger Gore, Walnut Warlock, 00:11:26.641 --> 00:11:28.900 Caramel Cadaver. 00:11:29.000 --> 00:11:31.180 - Wait a second, Fruit Brute? - Yeah. 00:11:31.380 --> 00:11:35.740 - Like the monster cereal Fruit Brute? - Yeah, like the monster cereal. 00:11:35.840 --> 00:11:39.180 - What's a Fruit Brute? - General Mills put out a... 00:11:39.280 --> 00:11:42.117 Sorry, please, go ahead. 00:11:42.217 --> 00:11:45.100 They put out a line of cereals based on classic monsters 00:11:45.200 --> 00:11:47.960 like Franken Berry, Boo Berry, Count Chocula 00:11:48.060 --> 00:11:52.680 and Fruit Brute was one of the cereals but no one bought it so it died. 00:11:52.780 --> 00:11:56.020 Yeah, until I decided to resurrect it. It's alive. 00:11:56.120 --> 00:11:57.600 How, retro! 00:11:57.700 --> 00:12:00.266 I will have one Fruit Brute malted, please. 00:12:00.366 --> 00:12:03.420 Excellent choice. And for the lady? 00:12:03.520 --> 00:12:06.800 I'll take a Soy Oreo shake and we're in rush. 00:12:06.900 --> 00:12:10.880 Actually I don't have cookies and cream. You know you can get that anywhere, so... 00:12:12.420 --> 00:12:15.100 I've never met an ice cream snob before. 00:12:15.200 --> 00:12:18.020 - Stop, Evelyn. - I didn't mean it like that at all. 00:12:18.120 --> 00:12:20.208 Oh, no, you think that you're so great, right? 00:12:20.308 --> 00:12:23.507 Because you work at some novelty ice cream shop where you serve flavors 00:12:23.607 --> 00:12:26.460 based on pop culture artifacts that only cool people like you know about, 00:12:26.560 --> 00:12:28.880 but do you actually know what they put in this stuff? 00:12:28.980 --> 00:12:31.920 You're practically poisoning your customers. 00:12:32.020 --> 00:12:33.580 What is your problem? 00:12:33.680 --> 00:12:36.278 - You are my problem, skank! - Evelyn! 00:12:36.378 --> 00:12:40.240 No, Max. We're leaving. We are going to Pinkberry. 00:12:41.220 --> 00:12:44.980 - Are you coming or not? - But Fruit Brute! 00:12:45.742 --> 00:12:46.745 Fine. 00:12:50.580 --> 00:12:52.060 I'm so sorry. 00:12:52.360 --> 00:12:56.478 That's fine, no worries. Good luck! 00:12:57.240 --> 00:13:01.350 Enjoy Pinkberry. Has milk in it... also. 00:13:07.680 --> 00:13:10.019 You mind telling me what that was about? 00:13:10.119 --> 00:13:12.740 I don't know. Why don't you tell me, Flirty McGee? 00:13:12.840 --> 00:13:17.080 Flirty McGee? We were talking about monster cereals. 00:13:17.321 --> 00:13:22.100 Fine, go be with someone who knows about obscure discontinued breakfast foods, Max. 00:13:22.200 --> 00:13:24.711 I just wanted a malted! 00:13:32.240 --> 00:13:35.000 Max, I'm so sorry. 00:13:35.620 --> 00:13:37.700 Please don't be mad at me. 00:13:37.800 --> 00:13:39.841 I'm not mad, 00:13:39.941 --> 00:13:43.180 I just want to know what happened back there. 00:13:43.280 --> 00:13:45.482 I don't know, I just... 00:13:45.582 --> 00:13:49.680 I freaked out, you know? It wasn't you, it was... that girl. 00:13:49.780 --> 00:13:52.366 She just got under my skin. 00:13:52.466 --> 00:13:56.100 It was just ice cream, Evelyn. Ice cream. 00:13:57.400 --> 00:14:00.540 You're right. I'm sorry. I am. 00:14:01.440 --> 00:14:03.620 I just get scared sometimes. 00:14:04.521 --> 00:14:07.400 You're all I have and I don't want to lose you. 00:14:07.500 --> 00:14:09.572 You're not gonna lose me, Ev. 00:14:11.560 --> 00:14:13.440 Okay. 00:14:22.260 --> 00:14:25.858 - Thank you. Go to hell. - Where do you get off? 00:14:31.720 --> 00:14:34.672 - Who dare call Bloody Mary's? - Hey, sexy. 00:14:35.072 --> 00:14:38.060 You think you can sneak away from work for a minute? I have a surprise for you. 00:14:38.260 --> 00:14:40.776 I promise you won't regret it. 00:14:40.876 --> 00:14:43.521 - Really? - Really. 00:14:45.260 --> 00:14:47.020 On my way. 00:14:52.260 --> 00:14:54.722 Surprise! 00:15:08.340 --> 00:15:13.460 Max, not on the runner. It's hypoallergenic and I would like to keep it that way. 00:15:14.080 --> 00:15:15.334 My bad. 00:15:19.000 --> 00:15:22.920 So, do you love it or do you love it? 00:15:23.020 --> 00:15:25.900 Yeah. It's... it's different. 00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:29.534 Our apartment is now 100 percent green. 00:15:29.634 --> 00:15:31.660 Literally. 00:15:31.760 --> 00:15:34.446 Do you like the color? It's made from fresh cut wheat grass 00:15:34.546 --> 00:15:38.100 so no solvents, toxic metals or volatile organic compounds. 00:15:38.200 --> 00:15:40.320 Great. 00:15:40.420 --> 00:15:43.000 What did you do with my posters? 00:15:43.100 --> 00:15:45.700 Don't worry, I put them in the drawer. 00:15:45.800 --> 00:15:48.766 Oh, my God! You're kidding me, right? 00:15:55.953 --> 00:15:57.370 You ruined them. 00:15:57.470 --> 00:15:59.680 Max, please! They weren't even in English. 00:16:00.349 --> 00:16:02.740 That's because they were imported. 00:16:02.840 --> 00:16:05.332 Okay, well, they were taking up all the wall space. 00:16:05.432 --> 00:16:09.040 These were in pristine condition. 00:16:09.440 --> 00:16:11.860 Do you understand how much these were worth? 00:16:11.960 --> 00:16:14.200 I was going to make a down payment on a space with these. 00:16:14.300 --> 00:16:15.560 There you go with the shop idea... 00:16:15.660 --> 00:16:17.980 And when did we decide to redecorate the apartment anyway? 00:16:18.080 --> 00:16:20.760 - Okay, well, it's my home too. - I know Evelyn, I know, 00:16:20.860 --> 00:16:23.220 but we have to make these sorts of decisions together. 00:16:23.320 --> 00:16:27.560 Well, it was my mother's birthday and I was just trying to do something fun. 00:16:29.300 --> 00:16:31.180 Evelyn. 00:16:31.280 --> 00:16:34.475 - Just leave me alone, Max. - Ev... 00:16:35.203 --> 00:16:37.580 Come on. 00:16:38.198 --> 00:16:41.207 - Ev... - Go away! 00:17:04.500 --> 00:17:07.065 Travis no estoy aquÃ. 00:17:07.165 --> 00:17:08.868 I said "no tengo la rento." 00:17:08.968 --> 00:17:11.763 Travis, open up. It's me. 00:17:17.220 --> 00:17:18.637 Come on. 00:17:23.080 --> 00:17:25.640 Jesus, man. You look like shit. 00:17:25.740 --> 00:17:27.098 Yeah, well... 00:17:27.198 --> 00:17:30.117 ever since Little Miss Boner-killer banned me from your apartment, 00:17:30.217 --> 00:17:34.200 I haven't been able to get any poon. I'm all backed up. 00:17:35.320 --> 00:17:37.840 You look pretty busted yourself. Hasn't she been feeding you? 00:17:37.940 --> 00:17:40.718 Tofu, tofu, tofu. 00:17:40.818 --> 00:17:43.420 All tofu. All the time. 00:17:43.520 --> 00:17:46.960 - Yuck! - I know, I know. I skip most meals. 00:17:47.060 --> 00:17:50.140 Not that, I think this Twinkie is expired. 00:17:50.240 --> 00:17:54.080 - Twinkies don't expire. - Yeah, they do. Every four weeks. 00:17:54.180 --> 00:17:56.340 - Really? - Then they get good again. 00:17:57.440 --> 00:17:59.400 I did not know that. 00:18:00.960 --> 00:18:03.580 - Want it? - Yeah, sure. 00:18:03.680 --> 00:18:05.654 You gotta do something about that broad, bro. 00:18:05.754 --> 00:18:08.960 I mean, she's bad for you and me, especially me. 00:18:09.060 --> 00:18:12.709 That's the thing. Evelyn and I, it's... 00:18:12.809 --> 00:18:15.320 - It's not working. - You guys breaking up? 00:18:15.420 --> 00:18:18.400 Evelyn is a very sweet girl, 00:18:18.500 --> 00:18:21.540 and the sex is... 00:18:21.640 --> 00:18:23.384 - is rad. - Yeah. 00:18:23.484 --> 00:18:27.570 But she can be such a stark, raving lunatic sometimes. 00:18:27.670 --> 00:18:31.340 - Agreed. - I just don't think we fit anymore. 00:18:31.440 --> 00:18:33.700 When are you dropping the bomb? I'll start making some calls. 00:18:33.900 --> 00:18:36.960 I've never been the dumper, 00:18:37.060 --> 00:18:39.640 I've always been the dumpee. 00:18:40.177 --> 00:18:43.800 Shit, bro. Kicking a girl to the curb is the easiest part of a relationship. 00:18:43.900 --> 00:18:46.176 Text dump her, it's quick, easy 00:18:46.276 --> 00:18:49.650 and depending on your wireless plan, it can even be free. 00:18:49.750 --> 00:18:53.600 - I can't text dump her. - What, you don't have unlimited texting? 00:18:53.700 --> 00:18:55.460 We live together. 00:18:56.175 --> 00:19:00.920 That's on you. That is on you. I can't help you there. 00:19:01.420 --> 00:19:03.448 You're not gonna help me? 00:19:03.548 --> 00:19:06.200 All right, all right. 00:19:06.300 --> 00:19:08.220 This is what you're going to do. 00:19:08.320 --> 00:19:10.953 Pick a public place. Somewhere with a lot of people. 00:19:11.053 --> 00:19:14.494 That ways if she freaks, starts kicking you in the junk, someone will call 911. 00:19:14.594 --> 00:19:17.000 It has happened before. It happened to me a couple of years back. 00:19:17.100 --> 00:19:20.041 That's neither here nor there. Stake it out a day beforehand. 00:19:20.141 --> 00:19:24.672 Make sure you know where all the escape routes are. A solid exit strategy is key. 00:19:28.320 --> 00:19:31.564 Don't worry, bro. Evelyn's a tough chick. 00:19:31.664 --> 00:19:34.188 She'll be back on her feet in no time. 00:19:35.980 --> 00:19:39.060 Live green or blog hard, saving the world one blog at a time. 00:19:39.160 --> 00:19:43.263 - Hey, it's it's me. - Oh, hey, baby. What's up? 00:19:43.363 --> 00:19:44.840 Nothing. You? 00:19:45.676 --> 00:19:48.060 I am blogging up a storm today. 00:19:48.660 --> 00:19:52.040 I just... I have a... a surprise for you. 00:19:52.340 --> 00:19:54.820 Oh. Well, what is it? 00:19:54.920 --> 00:20:00.180 I wouldn't wanna ruin it. You wanna meet me at the dog park in 30? 00:20:01.170 --> 00:20:03.234 Oh, my God! 00:20:03.334 --> 00:20:05.954 - I know what it is. - You do? 00:20:06.054 --> 00:20:08.420 You got a puppy! 00:20:08.520 --> 00:20:12.880 - Wait, it's a rescue, right? - Just meet me in 30, okay? 00:20:12.980 --> 00:20:16.840 Okay. Max, you're the best boyfriend ever. 00:20:51.480 --> 00:20:54.320 Someone call 911. Someone call 911! 00:20:55.560 --> 00:20:58.500 Evelyn! Evelyn! 00:21:01.169 --> 00:21:04.500 - Max. - There's been an accident. 00:21:04.600 --> 00:21:06.540 Just stay still. The ambulance is on its way. 00:21:06.640 --> 00:21:10.219 - Don't leave me. - No, I'm right here. I'm right here. 00:21:10.819 --> 00:21:13.460 I don't want to die. 00:21:13.560 --> 00:21:16.547 - I don't want to leave you. - You're not. 00:21:16.647 --> 00:21:20.080 We will always be together. Okay? 00:21:20.968 --> 00:21:22.473 Always and forever. 00:21:27.560 --> 00:21:29.800 Evelyn! 00:21:30.300 --> 00:21:32.340 Ev! 00:21:32.900 --> 00:21:35.960 Ev! Evelyn! 00:21:36.060 --> 00:21:40.200 Please, please, Ev. 00:22:07.740 --> 00:22:10.500 I'm here for you, brother. Okay? 00:23:17.200 --> 00:23:22.140 The grief of his wife's death became greater and greater agony. 00:23:22.640 --> 00:23:25.820 The home that they had so long shared together 00:23:25.920 --> 00:23:28.440 became a tomb. 00:23:29.860 --> 00:23:32.980 The ever-beautiful flowers she had planted 00:23:33.080 --> 00:23:34.860 with her own hands 00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:40.014 became nothing more than the lost roses of her cheeks. 00:23:41.840 --> 00:23:45.380 It's Travis, man. Open up. I know you're in there. 00:23:45.480 --> 00:23:48.360 Come on, I swear I don't have anyone with me. 00:23:48.460 --> 00:23:51.400 Don't make me use my keys. 00:23:57.200 --> 00:23:59.480 What's up, Max? 00:24:08.900 --> 00:24:13.860 I guess... I guess you haven't had time to drop this shit off at Goodwill? 00:24:14.460 --> 00:24:17.640 - What? Too soon? - You're a dick. 00:24:17.740 --> 00:24:20.300 Come on! You were going to break up with her anyways, remember? 00:24:20.400 --> 00:24:23.080 Yeah, well... I killed her instead. 00:24:23.180 --> 00:24:26.700 Hey, that is bullshit and you know it. 00:24:27.200 --> 00:24:30.860 I don't know. I just can't help but think that if I'd stuck it out a little, 00:24:30.960 --> 00:24:32.580 we would have... 00:24:32.680 --> 00:24:36.832 we would have found common ground, we would've been happy again. 00:24:36.932 --> 00:24:38.360 I refuse to let you talk like that 00:24:38.460 --> 00:24:42.130 and I refuse to let you rot away in this shrine to your ex. 00:24:42.230 --> 00:24:44.640 What am I supposed to do? 00:24:44.740 --> 00:24:46.820 All the things you used to love to do. 00:24:46.920 --> 00:24:51.204 I don't know. It's hard to remember who I was before her. 00:24:51.320 --> 00:24:55.360 Well, you used to love going to the movies and... 00:24:55.460 --> 00:24:59.248 there just so happens to be a double feature at the New Bev tonight. 00:24:59.348 --> 00:25:02.460 - Could be fun. - Do you want to go the movies with me? 00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:05.820 I would love to go to the movies with you, but... 00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:09.430 Actually I got a smoking hot date with this MILF, Janine, 00:25:09.530 --> 00:25:11.740 and I met her on Tinder and I could... 00:25:12.554 --> 00:25:15.102 could really use the apartment. 00:25:15.202 --> 00:25:16.800 No. 00:25:16.900 --> 00:25:19.540 Hey, it was worth a shot. Good seeing you again, bro. 00:25:20.407 --> 00:25:24.760 Hey, ladies! Max is single and ready to mingle! 00:25:25.942 --> 00:25:29.700 Delivering from the bitter pains of eternal death, 00:25:29.800 --> 00:25:34.020 the woman was a wicked woman, and she was dead in her own life. 00:25:34.120 --> 00:25:37.300 Yea, Lord, pity them who are dead, 00:25:37.400 --> 00:25:41.440 and give peace and happiness to the living. 00:25:57.440 --> 00:25:59.360 Hey, Fruit Brute! 00:25:59.872 --> 00:26:01.179 Fruit brute! 00:26:03.240 --> 00:26:05.520 - Hi. - Hey. 00:26:06.220 --> 00:26:09.030 You don't remember me do you? Oh, my God! 00:26:09.130 --> 00:26:12.860 - I just made an ass out of myself. - No, no, no. I... I do. 00:26:12.960 --> 00:26:16.860 - Ice Cream, right? - Yes. Olivia. 00:26:16.960 --> 00:26:19.140 - Max. - Hi. 00:26:19.740 --> 00:26:21.420 A Val Lewton fan, I see. 00:26:21.520 --> 00:26:24.700 Oh, yeah, well, the guy took what could've been B-movie exploitation... 00:26:24.800 --> 00:26:27.380 And turned it into the art house cinema, I know. 00:26:28.460 --> 00:26:31.620 Is your... Is your girlfriend here? 00:26:32.469 --> 00:26:35.335 No, no. She... 00:26:35.435 --> 00:26:40.100 - She moved on. - Sorry. It happens, you know. 00:26:40.600 --> 00:26:43.437 I just broke up with this guy I was seeing because he... 00:26:43.537 --> 00:26:46.160 he suddenly decided to become a born again Christian. 00:26:46.260 --> 00:26:49.920 Yea, my ex could be a little extreme, too. 00:26:50.020 --> 00:26:52.260 Not quite like this. It was like... 00:26:52.360 --> 00:26:56.080 no smoking, no drinking, no sex. 00:26:56.180 --> 00:26:59.120 I was, like, totally losing my shit. I was like... 00:26:59.220 --> 00:27:02.280 will somebody please just have sex with me. 00:27:02.380 --> 00:27:04.475 - Right here, baby! - Oh, my God! 00:27:04.575 --> 00:27:07.640 That sounded really bad. 00:27:08.300 --> 00:27:10.640 Okay, anyway, it was really nice running into you. 00:27:11.400 --> 00:27:13.760 You, too. 00:27:13.860 --> 00:27:16.380 - Bye. - Bye. 00:27:19.660 --> 00:27:21.700 Hey... 00:27:22.200 --> 00:27:24.680 are you doing anything, like, right now? 00:27:25.380 --> 00:27:27.100 - Right now? - Because you know, I was... 00:27:27.200 --> 00:27:33.520 I was thinking, you know, you never... never did get that malted you wanted. 00:27:33.620 --> 00:27:38.406 So, I took off all of my clothes and I stood right in front of him and I said, 00:27:38.506 --> 00:27:42.623 "You either pick Jesus or you pick me." 00:27:43.817 --> 00:27:46.040 He picked Jesus. 00:27:46.140 --> 00:27:48.420 - No way. - Way. 00:27:48.520 --> 00:27:51.540 He then joined this Christian rock band. 00:27:51.640 --> 00:27:53.760 You want to know what they are called? 00:27:53.860 --> 00:27:57.322 The Christians Slaters. 00:27:57.991 --> 00:28:00.360 That is too funny. 00:28:02.460 --> 00:28:05.240 So... how did you break up with yours? 00:28:07.100 --> 00:28:09.356 I... 00:28:10.280 --> 00:28:13.600 I sort of threw her under the bus. 00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:17.059 I still feel pretty bad about it. 00:28:17.800 --> 00:28:21.160 Well, if it's any consolation, 00:28:21.260 --> 00:28:26.380 you know, she was... a tad feisty. 00:28:26.480 --> 00:28:28.320 Yeah, we had our differences. 00:28:28.720 --> 00:28:31.760 I mean, she wouldn't know half the stuff we're talking about tonight. 00:28:32.760 --> 00:28:36.835 I guess, it just... wasn't meant to be. 00:28:36.935 --> 00:28:37.880 Yeah. 00:28:38.080 --> 00:28:41.360 I don't think we should be talking about our exes. It's, like, bad luck or something. 00:28:42.360 --> 00:28:46.329 - It actually kind of helps. - Well, then I'm happy to help. 00:28:49.860 --> 00:28:52.320 To moving on. 00:28:53.260 --> 00:28:54.380 To moving on. 00:28:54.680 --> 00:28:57.600 - Cheers! - Cheers! 00:29:01.480 --> 00:29:04.260 Hey, do you want to do something fun? 00:29:04.860 --> 00:29:06.705 - Dying to. - Okay, good. 00:29:06.805 --> 00:29:11.320 But you have to promise not to call me crazy. Do you promise? 00:29:13.820 --> 00:29:16.040 - Yeah, I promise. - Okay. 00:29:16.540 --> 00:29:20.580 I love coming here. It's like, so peaceful and quiet. 00:29:22.047 --> 00:29:24.140 You are crazy. 00:29:24.240 --> 00:29:28.580 Come on, this isn't just any cemetery, this is the Hollywood Forever cemetery. 00:29:28.680 --> 00:29:30.940 You know who's buried here? 00:29:31.040 --> 00:29:34.100 Yeah. I can think of one. 00:29:34.200 --> 00:29:36.820 Peter Lorre, 00:29:36.920 --> 00:29:39.440 John Huston, 00:29:39.540 --> 00:29:41.720 Johnny Ramone. 00:29:41.820 --> 00:29:44.500 How cool is that? Johnny Ramone. 00:29:44.600 --> 00:29:46.960 - That is pretty cool. - Yeah. 00:29:47.841 --> 00:29:50.440 - Hey, Max. - What? 00:29:51.340 --> 00:29:54.100 They're coming to get you, Max. 00:29:54.600 --> 00:29:58.080 - Stop. Stop, stop - They're coming for you. 00:29:58.180 --> 00:30:02.160 - You know I ran track in high school. - They're coming for you! 00:30:02.260 --> 00:30:05.620 - I'm coming to get you. - Yeah, right. 00:30:05.720 --> 00:30:08.040 I'm going to get you. 00:30:42.540 --> 00:30:44.660 I'm really sorry I'm devouring you like this. 00:30:44.760 --> 00:30:47.318 - Please continue. - Okay. 00:30:47.418 --> 00:30:50.360 It's just... It's been a really long time. 00:30:50.460 --> 00:30:52.520 Ditto. 00:30:53.640 --> 00:30:56.920 But... we should... we should stop. 00:30:57.020 --> 00:31:00.040 Really? I mean, we're both responsible adults, right? 00:31:00.340 --> 00:31:01.520 - Right. - Right. 00:31:01.620 --> 00:31:02.836 Yeah. 00:31:06.799 --> 00:31:09.572 - But we really should stop. - Really? 00:31:09.672 --> 00:31:11.740 - Yeah. - Yeah... we should. 00:31:11.840 --> 00:31:14.333 I have to open up the shop in the morning, anyway. 00:31:14.433 --> 00:31:16.580 - Where do you work? - Bloody Mary's. 00:31:16.980 --> 00:31:20.600 You should come by. I'll give you a discount on fake blood pellets. 00:31:21.540 --> 00:31:23.801 Okay. I'll keep that in mind. 00:31:27.400 --> 00:31:31.740 Hey... I had a really, really good time tonight, Max. 00:31:31.840 --> 00:31:33.880 Me, too. 00:31:34.240 --> 00:31:37.264 - See you soon? - Yeah. Definitely. 00:31:37.364 --> 00:31:39.460 Okay. 00:31:43.300 --> 00:31:45.330 Okay. 00:31:45.430 --> 00:31:47.040 - Bye. - Bye. 00:32:04.960 --> 00:32:07.180 Thank you. 00:32:07.960 --> 00:32:09.362 Thank you very much. 00:32:10.860 --> 00:32:14.200 I knew... son of a bitch! 00:32:14.720 --> 00:32:17.100 Well, that wasn't a very warm reception, Max. 00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:20.720 I'm just a little freaked out here. Just give me a second. 00:32:21.020 --> 00:32:24.780 This is all a flashback to the time you shroomed out on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. 00:32:24.880 --> 00:32:27.820 It's cold out here. I'm gonna catch my death. 00:32:27.920 --> 00:32:30.024 Coming. 00:32:30.124 --> 00:32:34.089 You're going to open that door and there's not going to be anyone there. 00:32:36.507 --> 00:32:38.820 Hey, Max. I'm back! 00:32:38.920 --> 00:32:41.240 - Fuck me! - Oh, you read my mind. 00:32:41.340 --> 00:32:44.380 - Wait, wait, please. Stop, stop, stop! - Oh, baby. What's wrong? 00:32:44.480 --> 00:32:47.900 What's wrong? You died. I saw you die. 00:32:48.000 --> 00:32:51.038 - I know, freaky deaky, right? - But how? 00:32:51.138 --> 00:32:53.940 - True love conquers all. - That doesn't make any sense. 00:32:54.040 --> 00:32:55.575 Yes, it does. 00:32:55.875 --> 00:32:59.100 Don't you see? Our love has been given a second chance 00:32:59.200 --> 00:33:02.937 - and we have to seize the opportunity. - That's really unnecessary. 00:33:03.037 --> 00:33:04.852 - Oh, my God! - What? 00:33:09.600 --> 00:33:14.060 - You kept the runner. - Yeah, yeah. Why wouldn't I? 00:33:14.160 --> 00:33:17.310 Well, you know how guys are. Always trading in for a newer model. 00:33:18.232 --> 00:33:21.600 - I would never do that. - Good. 00:33:21.700 --> 00:33:25.160 Because if you did, you'd be fucking dead, right now! 00:33:30.280 --> 00:33:33.540 Oh, baby! I'm just screwing with you. 00:33:33.640 --> 00:33:37.305 Speaking of which... Oh, I'm so horny. 00:33:37.405 --> 00:33:38.860 Oh, let's play, baby... 00:33:38.960 --> 00:33:41.300 Don't... don't... don't you think you should take a shower first? 00:33:41.400 --> 00:33:45.680 - I mean, you were dead for a long time. - Only if you come with me. 00:33:45.780 --> 00:33:49.500 You know I hate going to bed with my hair wet. 00:33:50.204 --> 00:33:52.560 Such a wuss. 00:33:54.160 --> 00:33:57.140 - I'll be quick. - Take your time. 00:34:01.458 --> 00:34:02.460 Shit! 00:34:02.760 --> 00:34:05.392 - Who is it? - Olivia! 00:34:05.492 --> 00:34:07.540 Oh, goddamn it! 00:34:08.586 --> 00:34:11.400 Just give me a second, just one second. 00:34:12.780 --> 00:34:15.900 - Hi, again. - Hey, what a surprise. 00:34:16.000 --> 00:34:19.460 Listen, I was just thinking about what you said earlier. 00:34:19.560 --> 00:34:22.460 Yeah. What did I say? I said a lot of things. 00:34:22.560 --> 00:34:25.400 You know, about us being responsible adults and everything. 00:34:25.500 --> 00:34:27.620 - Right, that. - I just think, you know, 00:34:27.720 --> 00:34:30.540 If I want to and if you want to, 00:34:30.640 --> 00:34:33.580 then I think that we should just... you know, we should go for it, right? 00:34:33.680 --> 00:34:38.500 I mean, it's going to happen eventually anyway, right? 00:34:39.160 --> 00:34:40.500 - Right? - Yeah, about that. 00:34:40.600 --> 00:34:43.270 I think I may have spoken a bit too soon. 00:34:43.370 --> 00:34:45.101 Awesome! 00:34:45.201 --> 00:34:47.212 I'm sorry. 00:34:49.009 --> 00:34:51.320 - What? - I just think... 00:34:51.420 --> 00:34:56.000 I think we will both enjoy it a lot more if we just wait. 00:34:56.100 --> 00:34:58.880 Right. Okay. 00:35:00.340 --> 00:35:03.800 You probably think I'm... just... like, a big hoe-bag now. 00:35:03.900 --> 00:35:06.520 No, I really don't think you're a big hoe-bag. 00:35:06.620 --> 00:35:09.860 - Little bit, little bit? - Not even the slightest. 00:35:09.960 --> 00:35:12.020 Okay. Well, I... 00:35:12.120 --> 00:35:14.420 - I'll... I'm gonna go. - Yeah, see you. 00:35:14.520 --> 00:35:17.340 We're out of shampoo, baby. 00:35:17.440 --> 00:35:20.413 - Who was that? - Did you hear that? 00:35:20.513 --> 00:35:23.670 The walls here are so thin. 00:35:23.770 --> 00:35:26.180 Right. I hate that. 00:35:26.280 --> 00:35:30.235 That's another reason why I think that we should wait. 00:35:30.335 --> 00:35:33.280 Because you don't want the neighbors hearing us 00:35:33.380 --> 00:35:37.060 going at it like a pack of sex-crazed hyenas, 00:35:37.160 --> 00:35:40.740 pounding away at each other all night. 00:35:40.840 --> 00:35:45.880 - You know? - Yeah. No! I don't think that would... 00:35:45.980 --> 00:35:48.242 - Yeah. - Okay. 00:35:48.342 --> 00:35:51.520 Okay. Yeah, so I'll see you... Bye. 00:35:51.620 --> 00:35:54.560 - Bye. - Yeah, okay. 00:35:57.540 --> 00:35:59.665 Who was that? 00:35:59.765 --> 00:36:02.400 - FedEx. - This late? 00:36:02.500 --> 00:36:07.560 Yeah, well, when it absolutely and positively has to be there overnight. 00:36:08.300 --> 00:36:12.780 Well, I have a special delivery for you. 00:36:15.280 --> 00:36:17.240 Are you sure you don't want to dry off first? 00:36:17.440 --> 00:36:19.720 The wetter the better, baby. 00:36:25.860 --> 00:36:27.248 Oh, dear. 00:36:35.400 --> 00:36:40.360 Oh, God! That freaking hurt. 00:36:41.480 --> 00:36:43.783 I never said I was graceful. 00:36:43.883 --> 00:36:46.420 You won't die. 00:36:48.620 --> 00:36:50.560 No. 00:36:50.960 --> 00:36:53.900 You said we'd always be together. 00:36:54.000 --> 00:36:56.560 That night at the shop. 00:36:57.240 --> 00:37:00.104 Always and forever. 00:37:00.660 --> 00:37:03.366 The Satan Genie. 00:37:05.120 --> 00:37:08.039 I guess it wasn't a load of horseshit after all. 00:37:08.139 --> 00:37:11.100 I stand corrected. 00:37:11.200 --> 00:37:13.140 This... 00:37:13.740 --> 00:37:16.580 is gonna be fun. 00:37:17.080 --> 00:37:18.570 Now, where were we? 00:37:27.800 --> 00:37:31.561 Embalming fluid. Gross! 00:37:40.360 --> 00:37:43.040 Worst nightmare ever. 00:37:43.140 --> 00:37:45.046 Hi. 00:37:46.140 --> 00:37:48.470 Oh, come on. My morning face is not that bad. 00:37:48.570 --> 00:37:53.720 Sorry, I'm just having a nightmare. I mean, I was having a nightmare. 00:37:53.820 --> 00:37:56.040 - How did you sleep? - Oh, not a wink. 00:37:56.140 --> 00:37:59.080 I have all this energy, like I drank 100 Red Bulls or something. 00:37:59.180 --> 00:38:02.140 And I think like in a jiffy. Real quick. 00:38:02.740 --> 00:38:05.017 Did we... 00:38:05.117 --> 00:38:06.476 We didn't... 00:38:06.576 --> 00:38:08.580 - Have sex? - Yeah. 00:38:08.680 --> 00:38:10.640 No, you passed out. 00:38:10.740 --> 00:38:13.280 Your penis is the size of a marsh mellow mini. 00:38:13.580 --> 00:38:17.340 But you're awake now. Time to wake up, goony bird! 00:38:17.440 --> 00:38:20.320 Evelyn, Evelyn, Ev... Do you think we should have breakfast first? 00:38:20.420 --> 00:38:23.480 Maybe just some for carbs, energy. 00:38:23.580 --> 00:38:27.060 No, it's the craziest thing. I'm not even hungry. 00:38:27.160 --> 00:38:31.485 I'm gonna lose so much weight. Being dead is the best diet ever. 00:38:31.963 --> 00:38:35.280 Would you look at the time. I'm gonna be late for work. 00:38:35.380 --> 00:38:37.720 No, no, no, don't go. Let me have a quickie first. 00:38:37.820 --> 00:38:41.380 Please Evelyn, you just rose from the dead, you deserve more than a quickie. 00:38:41.680 --> 00:38:43.471 Wait, then when are you gonna be back? 00:38:43.571 --> 00:38:48.360 I don't know. It's the Halloween season and things get real crazy so don't wait up. 00:38:53.180 --> 00:38:56.980 Come on, Travis. Pick up. 00:38:57.080 --> 00:39:00.460 We got shirts, we got suits, we got ties, we got belts. 00:39:00.560 --> 00:39:03.580 Hey, baby, you've ever banged a Viking? 00:39:03.680 --> 00:39:07.240 Once he goes Norse you'll have no remorse. 00:39:07.720 --> 00:39:09.823 Shit! 00:39:11.940 --> 00:39:13.860 I told you not to call me at the office, bro. 00:39:14.160 --> 00:39:17.840 Travis, whatever you do, do not go back to my apartment. 00:39:17.940 --> 00:39:20.272 Negativo. I got a scorching hot date tonight 00:39:20.372 --> 00:39:23.920 with the centerfold from this month's FHM and she lives with the rents. 00:39:24.020 --> 00:39:27.980 It's Evelyn. She's back and she's in my apartment, right now. 00:39:28.080 --> 00:39:31.820 Max... please... please, don't tell me you ate that acid I left in your fridge. 00:39:31.920 --> 00:39:34.620 Travis, I'm serious! She's is back. 00:39:34.720 --> 00:39:37.880 She's dead and she thinks we're still dating. 00:39:37.980 --> 00:39:39.660 Okay. Settle down. 00:39:39.760 --> 00:39:44.180 It'll wear off in 10-12 hours. Just don't operate any heavy machinery. 00:39:44.380 --> 00:39:46.840 Look, I gotta go, okay? I gotta get back to work. 00:39:47.140 --> 00:39:51.700 Just sit in the corner and listen to some music. I don't know. All right, bye. 00:39:52.360 --> 00:39:55.245 Okay, come on, you got me into this, you gotta get... 00:40:00.940 --> 00:40:03.857 Oh, shit. 00:40:08.380 --> 00:40:10.140 "Straight to Hades: 00:40:10.240 --> 00:40:15.220 A Guide for Ridding the Unwelcome Undead By Baron Olaf III, Ph.D, Esquire." 00:40:16.400 --> 00:40:19.880 Salt, flour, celery... 00:40:20.180 --> 00:40:23.860 What the... Parsley? Really? You gotta be kidding me. 00:40:23.960 --> 00:40:27.060 Wolfsbane. Yeah, 'cause I got a lot of wolfsbane lying around. 00:40:27.160 --> 00:40:30.178 "Blow directly into face." 00:40:30.278 --> 00:40:31.660 Okay. 00:40:40.420 --> 00:40:42.560 You're gonna die. 00:40:42.660 --> 00:40:46.300 - Excuse me? - One day you're gonna die. 00:40:46.400 --> 00:40:48.480 I'm going to be left all on my lonesome. 00:40:48.580 --> 00:40:51.620 Well, I'll still be with you in, like, spirit or whatever. 00:40:51.720 --> 00:40:55.180 You know I can't go on without you. 00:40:55.280 --> 00:40:57.220 But if I make you like me... 00:40:57.320 --> 00:41:00.360 Ev... just... think about what you're saying here. 00:41:00.460 --> 00:41:04.650 It's the only way that we can be together forever, like we promised. 00:41:04.750 --> 00:41:09.500 We can get married, buy a house, have a tons of babies. 00:41:09.600 --> 00:41:10.880 What the hell is that? 00:41:10.980 --> 00:41:14.160 It's just a little something I like to call... 00:41:27.760 --> 00:41:30.647 I thought I was gonna sneeze. 00:41:30.747 --> 00:41:33.015 What was that about? 00:41:33.115 --> 00:41:38.220 Just a new recipe I wanted to try. Didn't really work out for me. 00:41:38.320 --> 00:41:40.490 You're so silly sometimes. 00:41:40.590 --> 00:41:43.860 Seriously, if I kill you, 00:41:43.960 --> 00:41:46.440 then we get to live happily ever after. 00:41:47.326 --> 00:41:50.440 Can I... can I... can I say no? 00:41:51.620 --> 00:41:55.380 - What? - No, no, it's nothing... nothing personal. 00:41:55.480 --> 00:41:57.840 I just... 00:41:59.000 --> 00:42:01.960 I would like to go dancing tonight. 00:42:03.020 --> 00:42:04.580 - Really? - Yeah. 00:42:04.680 --> 00:42:08.740 - Dancing? - Yeah. Yeah, to celebrate your return. 00:42:08.840 --> 00:42:11.079 Max, you've never been to a club in your entire life. 00:42:11.179 --> 00:42:15.860 I know, I know, but if I'm gonna die, I'd like to live it up. 00:42:15.960 --> 00:42:18.594 Okay, where? 00:42:19.140 --> 00:42:23.177 I don't know. Somewhere where you won't... stick out. 00:42:40.580 --> 00:42:44.540 - You're girlfriend is so goth. - Who does her makeup? 00:42:44.640 --> 00:42:46.490 - She's au naturel. - Hey! 00:42:47.640 --> 00:42:49.800 Stop eye-banging my boyfriend, Morticia. 00:42:50.700 --> 00:42:54.132 Come on, you wanna step? Bring it, bitches. 00:42:59.300 --> 00:43:03.157 Come on, baby, let's go get our drink on. Yeah. 00:43:08.220 --> 00:43:13.100 Excuse me, what's the closest thing you have to an elephant tranquilizer? 00:43:13.861 --> 00:43:17.480 - Absinthe. - Make it a double. 00:43:20.700 --> 00:43:22.926 You dance with the green fairy before? 00:43:23.026 --> 00:43:24.808 There's a first time for everything. 00:43:36.980 --> 00:43:40.725 - Careful, this stuff will kill you. - I'm not so sure about that. 00:43:46.503 --> 00:43:48.324 Again. 00:43:48.424 --> 00:43:50.608 Your funeral. 00:43:50.708 --> 00:43:53.800 Been there, baby, done that. 00:44:04.430 --> 00:44:06.700 One more for the road. 00:44:07.440 --> 00:44:08.852 You heard the lady. 00:44:25.120 --> 00:44:27.580 Oh, baby. Hold me, I'm cold. 00:44:27.680 --> 00:44:30.360 No. You're good. 00:44:34.060 --> 00:44:38.320 Urge to purge. Urge to purge! Oh, baby, you're on hair duty. 00:44:42.180 --> 00:44:46.840 Oh, baby. Green fairy kicking my ass! 00:44:46.940 --> 00:44:51.360 All right, round two! Ding, ding, ding, ding! 00:44:52.980 --> 00:44:56.180 - Max? - Olivia! 00:44:56.280 --> 00:44:58.309 - Hi. - Hey. 00:45:00.187 --> 00:45:04.100 - What are the odds? - Yeah. Is your friend okay? 00:45:04.974 --> 00:45:07.700 Yeah, just a little worse for the wear. 00:45:08.000 --> 00:45:10.820 Yeah, doesn't know when to quit? 00:45:11.020 --> 00:45:14.540 - Yeah, you don't know the half of it. - Oh, I can't feel my face. 00:45:14.640 --> 00:45:16.560 - What's up? - Nothing, just... 00:45:16.660 --> 00:45:20.260 we're going to check out this club, me and my... my lady friends. 00:45:20.360 --> 00:45:23.317 Well, you can skip it. It's dead in there. 00:45:23.417 --> 00:45:25.320 - Get it? - Yeah. 00:45:25.420 --> 00:45:27.480 O, M effing G! 00:45:27.580 --> 00:45:29.782 This is the guy you've been crushing on? 00:45:29.882 --> 00:45:32.304 God, please stop. That's so rude. I'm so sorry. 00:45:32.404 --> 00:45:35.220 That's just too many appletinis. 00:45:36.800 --> 00:45:40.740 - Well, duty calls. - Yeah, do what you gotta. 00:45:41.440 --> 00:45:44.300 - Holla! - I will. 00:45:44.400 --> 00:45:48.680 You two suck, you know that? So embarrassing. 00:45:50.340 --> 00:45:52.000 All right. 00:45:52.100 --> 00:45:56.620 Baby, we're going to make sweet, sweet love tonight. 00:46:01.360 --> 00:46:04.920 No, no, no, that's a Dirty Sanchez. A rusty trombone is when... 00:46:08.120 --> 00:46:09.761 Oh, brother. 00:46:09.861 --> 00:46:12.840 Is this the kind of freaky shit you're into? 00:46:12.940 --> 00:46:16.800 No. But I... I could be. 00:46:19.820 --> 00:46:22.780 - You've gone necro, bro! - She's not dead, Travis. 00:46:22.880 --> 00:46:26.420 At least not in a traditional sense. 00:46:26.800 --> 00:46:28.640 Now, please, help me take her to bed. 00:46:28.740 --> 00:46:31.680 - No, I'm not touching that bitch. - Travis! 00:46:32.380 --> 00:46:36.120 Because you're my boy, but you put her back in the ground when you're done. 00:46:36.220 --> 00:46:38.460 - You got any gloves? - Please Travis! 00:46:41.877 --> 00:46:43.720 Baby. 00:46:44.880 --> 00:46:47.420 What the hell? 00:46:50.340 --> 00:46:52.743 What were you going to do? 00:46:52.843 --> 00:46:54.300 Funny man. 00:46:54.400 --> 00:46:57.188 Were you gonna draw a dick on my face? 00:46:57.288 --> 00:47:00.420 You gonna put my fingers in warm water? 00:47:02.920 --> 00:47:05.240 What is that smell? 00:47:05.340 --> 00:47:08.020 - I shit my pants. - You shit your... 00:47:08.120 --> 00:47:11.880 Eve, I was actually just showing Travis the door. 00:47:13.240 --> 00:47:15.669 You've... you've had a... 00:47:15.769 --> 00:47:19.952 You really partied like a champ tonight, I think you should just go and rest. 00:47:20.052 --> 00:47:24.960 Screw that. I'm up now and you'd better be too, if you know what I mean! 00:47:27.620 --> 00:47:31.452 Hey, why don't you have this? I'll be right back, okay? 00:47:33.620 --> 00:47:36.380 Travis. Travis, wait. 00:47:36.480 --> 00:47:39.400 Dude, what kind of voodoo did you do in there, Max? 00:47:39.500 --> 00:47:40.940 I didn't, I swear. 00:47:41.040 --> 00:47:43.520 There's a freaking Tim Burton movie in your living room. 00:47:43.620 --> 00:47:45.380 My God, she could be one of the infected. 00:47:45.480 --> 00:47:47.100 Please tell me you wore a condom when you were banging her. 00:47:47.200 --> 00:47:50.480 It's not a virus thing Travis. It's more of a... 00:47:50.580 --> 00:47:52.340 "Be careful what you wish for" thing. 00:47:52.440 --> 00:47:56.000 I would seriously invest in a hazmat suit, if I were you. Peace. 00:47:56.100 --> 00:47:58.110 - You're just gonna take off? - Yup. 00:47:58.210 --> 00:48:00.400 - You aren't even gonna help me? - Nope. 00:48:00.500 --> 00:48:03.480 - Travis, she wants to kill me. - Sooner or later, all broads do. 00:48:03.580 --> 00:48:05.740 - But I thought we were bros. - Half bros. 00:48:05.840 --> 00:48:08.590 Travis, please, just tell me what to do. 00:48:08.690 --> 00:48:11.620 What you were supposed to do in the first place, dump her ass. 00:48:11.720 --> 00:48:14.140 Just hope she doesn't eat your brains first. 00:49:19.660 --> 00:49:23.840 People think I'm just a girl Just a girl from another world... 00:49:23.940 --> 00:49:26.902 Good morning. I made breakfast. 00:49:27.002 --> 00:49:29.160 Here, sit. 00:49:46.000 --> 00:49:49.280 I used chocolate chips. Just like at IHOP. 00:49:52.620 --> 00:49:55.060 Dig in. I'm not hungry. 00:49:56.072 --> 00:50:00.820 So... have you thought about our talk? 00:50:00.920 --> 00:50:02.640 Together forever. 00:50:03.040 --> 00:50:05.547 Yeah, about that. 00:50:06.247 --> 00:50:08.177 What's wrong? 00:50:08.277 --> 00:50:11.520 Well, I just feel like things are getting 00:50:11.620 --> 00:50:15.340 a little bit... stale. 00:50:15.940 --> 00:50:18.660 - Stale? - Wrong word. Sorry. 00:50:19.060 --> 00:50:20.270 What are you trying to say? 00:50:20.370 --> 00:50:23.620 I just think before we take such a... 00:50:23.720 --> 00:50:26.460 drastic step in our relationship, 00:50:26.560 --> 00:50:30.300 how would you feel about taking 00:50:30.400 --> 00:50:33.450 a very small... 00:50:33.550 --> 00:50:35.250 break? 00:50:35.350 --> 00:50:37.620 More of a breather, really. 00:50:38.190 --> 00:50:43.140 - Are you breaking up with me? - No, it's just a breather. 00:50:43.240 --> 00:50:47.570 I dug myself out of a grave for you. 00:50:47.670 --> 00:50:52.860 Do you have any idea how hard it is digging yourself out of a grave? 00:50:52.960 --> 00:50:55.620 It's freaking hard! 00:50:55.920 --> 00:50:58.147 And there goes the deposit. 00:50:58.247 --> 00:51:01.560 - I can't believe you. - Ev, you're drawing blood. 00:51:01.660 --> 00:51:04.740 Where do you get the balls to even ask me if I want a break? 00:51:04.840 --> 00:51:07.200 See, I'm asking... 00:51:07.300 --> 00:51:10.140 if you want to take a break. 00:51:10.240 --> 00:51:12.600 Because I'm worried that I am not giving you what you need, 00:51:12.700 --> 00:51:16.040 what you want, what you deserve. 00:51:16.140 --> 00:51:19.328 Lord knows you deserve so much. 00:51:21.106 --> 00:51:22.887 Baby! 00:51:22.987 --> 00:51:24.780 Don't be silly. 00:51:24.880 --> 00:51:27.814 You are the best boyfriend ever. 00:51:28.314 --> 00:51:31.146 Oh, you make me so happy. 00:51:31.246 --> 00:51:33.300 Too tight! 00:51:38.080 --> 00:51:40.240 You always loved violence. 00:51:40.340 --> 00:51:43.342 Thank you, go to hell. 00:51:43.940 --> 00:51:46.044 Hey, why don't you go to hell? 00:51:46.344 --> 00:51:49.160 Already there, sir. 00:51:54.680 --> 00:51:57.206 - Hi. - Hi. 00:51:57.306 --> 00:51:59.880 - Rough night? - Rough life. 00:51:59.980 --> 00:52:04.394 Yeah. I thought you might be a little hung over so I brought you a remedy 00:52:04.494 --> 00:52:08.020 that's been in my family for years. 00:52:11.160 --> 00:52:15.400 Olivia, you are an angel from heaven. 00:52:15.500 --> 00:52:17.720 Yeah, I know. 00:52:19.220 --> 00:52:23.743 Must be nice having your own place. Making your own hours. 00:52:23.843 --> 00:52:26.940 Greeting customers the way you want. 00:52:27.040 --> 00:52:28.760 Eating burgers whenever you want. 00:52:28.860 --> 00:52:33.068 Yeah, I'm thinking about sub-letting the space on the other side. 00:52:33.168 --> 00:52:36.001 If you know anyone who is interested, it would make a really great spot 00:52:36.101 --> 00:52:39.300 for like a start-up. I think. 00:52:39.400 --> 00:52:42.375 I did, but... 00:52:42.475 --> 00:52:45.220 I don't think he's chasing that dream anymore. 00:52:45.320 --> 00:52:47.240 That's too bad. 00:52:47.940 --> 00:52:53.880 Sometimes people just... gotta take a chance, you know. 00:53:04.200 --> 00:53:07.360 - I should probably get that. - Yeah. 00:53:14.760 --> 00:53:18.346 - Who dare call Bloody Mary's? - Hey, baby. 00:53:20.213 --> 00:53:24.260 Hi. I'm a little busy right now. 00:53:24.360 --> 00:53:26.720 Okay. I was just thinking about you and I wanted to call. 00:53:27.820 --> 00:53:29.000 That's nice. 00:53:30.541 --> 00:53:32.487 I'm with a customer. 00:53:32.587 --> 00:53:34.020 Okay. 00:53:34.420 --> 00:53:36.340 - Max? - Yeah? 00:53:36.440 --> 00:53:37.761 I love you. 00:53:37.861 --> 00:53:42.920 That's great. That's really great. 00:53:43.500 --> 00:53:45.540 - Did you hear what I said? - Yeah. Yeah. 00:53:46.140 --> 00:53:49.240 - I said I love you. - Loud and clear. 00:53:49.340 --> 00:53:52.000 Well, aren't you going to say it back? 00:53:52.600 --> 00:53:54.180 Max? 00:53:55.116 --> 00:53:56.500 Hello? 00:53:57.200 --> 00:54:00.120 Yeah, love you back, bye. 00:54:02.300 --> 00:54:04.049 My boss is... 00:54:06.497 --> 00:54:08.860 Yeah, you know... 00:54:09.260 --> 00:54:12.380 - cut the crap, Max. - Please, just let me explain. Okay? 00:54:12.480 --> 00:54:14.998 No, you don't have to explain anything. 00:54:15.098 --> 00:54:17.488 I know exactly what's going on. 00:54:17.588 --> 00:54:20.810 - I really don't think you do. - It's obvious. 00:54:20.910 --> 00:54:24.540 - You're not over your ex yet. - It's not me Olivia, it's her. 00:54:24.640 --> 00:54:26.820 She won't get out of my life. 00:54:26.920 --> 00:54:30.840 Yeah, well, I'm not gonna, like, share you with someone else, you know. 00:54:30.940 --> 00:54:36.360 I already tried that with my ex-boyfriend and you know how that turned out, so... 00:54:36.748 --> 00:54:40.940 Believe me, Olivia, I really, really like you. 00:54:41.040 --> 00:54:44.459 Well, there's only so much rejection that I can take. 00:54:45.560 --> 00:54:48.820 If you want to be with me, then you'll be with me. 00:54:52.260 --> 00:54:54.328 Okay. 00:54:56.760 --> 00:54:58.027 You know... 00:54:58.127 --> 00:55:02.546 they're showing Night of the Living Dead tomorrow night at the Hollywood Forever, 00:55:02.646 --> 00:55:07.013 and I'll be there, if you want to meet me, 00:55:07.113 --> 00:55:10.800 and if not, that's totally fine. 00:55:10.900 --> 00:55:15.780 But, you know, it was nice to know you, then. 00:55:16.280 --> 00:55:18.320 Okay. 00:55:18.420 --> 00:55:20.480 Bye. 00:55:22.500 --> 00:55:25.720 So you're saying I should re-kill my ex? 00:55:25.820 --> 00:55:28.400 Seeing as you can't nad up, I say you got no choice. 00:55:28.500 --> 00:55:34.260 Yeah, but I tried. I tried and she went all 28 Weeks Later on me. 00:55:34.360 --> 00:55:37.872 Listen, that girl in our apartment is not Evelyn anymore. 00:55:37.972 --> 00:55:41.700 She's Zombie Evelyn. She's "Zevelin." 00:55:43.600 --> 00:55:45.036 You know. 00:55:46.014 --> 00:55:49.672 - Renta! Renta! - Travis está en la biblioteca. 00:55:49.772 --> 00:55:52.280 And what am I supposed to do anyway? 00:55:52.380 --> 00:55:56.000 I saw her get hit by a bus 00:55:56.100 --> 00:56:00.347 and break her neck and she's still going. 00:56:01.920 --> 00:56:04.740 Bullet to the brain? I mean, works in all those zombie movies. 00:56:04.840 --> 00:56:07.067 No, no, no. I'm against firearms. 00:56:07.367 --> 00:56:10.120 - Stake through the heart. - She's not a vampire. 00:56:11.820 --> 00:56:17.000 Electrocution. Bathtub, hair dryer, zap. She's dead. 00:56:17.100 --> 00:56:20.526 I'd probably end up zapping myself. 00:56:22.340 --> 00:56:24.460 Let me see what we have around here. 00:56:24.560 --> 00:56:26.766 Th... There's... 00:56:31.980 --> 00:56:34.520 Good old fashioned beheading ought to do it. 00:56:34.620 --> 00:56:37.440 Easy, too. Just go creeping while she's asleeping. 00:56:38.040 --> 00:56:40.059 Evelyn doesn't sleep. 00:56:40.440 --> 00:56:43.820 Well, you'll just have to get creative then. 00:57:00.080 --> 00:57:02.575 You're not gonna do what I think you're gonna do, are you? 00:57:03.575 --> 00:57:07.320 - What on earth would that be? - Don't play dumb, Max. 00:57:08.020 --> 00:57:10.560 You're gonna repaint the walls. 00:57:11.600 --> 00:57:17.720 You got me. I noticed the color was fading so I was gonna... add another coat. 00:57:17.820 --> 00:57:21.160 That's sweet, Max. But you're gonna have to wait until I finish my yoga. 00:57:21.260 --> 00:57:23.776 My chakra's off. 00:57:39.500 --> 00:57:44.880 Ever since I came back I can hit all these poses I couldn't before. 00:57:45.580 --> 00:57:48.060 It's pretty rad. 00:57:58.100 --> 00:58:00.587 What are you doing, baby? 00:58:01.187 --> 00:58:03.180 Just... 00:58:03.680 --> 00:58:06.400 admiring your form. 00:58:09.400 --> 00:58:11.424 Om... 00:58:27.020 --> 00:58:30.580 Barry's Chinese Food! It's the best deal in town! 00:58:30.880 --> 00:58:33.060 Barry's Chinese Food. 00:58:33.160 --> 00:58:35.567 Sup, killer? That was fast. 00:58:37.226 --> 00:58:39.176 All right. 00:58:43.840 --> 00:58:47.020 Where's the blood, where's the gore? Where's the viscera? 00:58:47.520 --> 00:58:50.566 - I couldn't do it. - What do you mean you couldn't do it? 00:58:51.720 --> 00:58:54.260 - Killing someone is hard. - She's already dead, man! 00:58:54.360 --> 00:58:58.880 It doesn't matter if she's alive or dead. It's hard. 00:58:59.580 --> 00:59:03.340 I'm just gonna stand Olivia up tonight and that will be the end of it. 00:59:03.440 --> 00:59:07.415 I'll let Evelyn eat me and turn me into one of the living dead 00:59:07.515 --> 00:59:11.540 - and we can rot unhappily ever after. - Stop it right now. 00:59:11.640 --> 00:59:13.840 You're meeting Olivia at that cemetery tonight. 00:59:13.940 --> 00:59:16.660 I told you, Travis, I'm not beheading my ex. 00:59:17.060 --> 00:59:19.069 You're not, 00:59:19.629 --> 00:59:21.623 I am. 00:59:21.723 --> 00:59:24.360 No, this... this isn't your fight. 00:59:24.460 --> 00:59:27.340 I know, but I got this. 00:59:27.440 --> 00:59:31.711 - I don't really think you do. - I got this, all right? 00:59:31.811 --> 00:59:34.380 I don't understand why do you have to go into work tonight? 00:59:34.480 --> 00:59:36.700 It's just the graveyard shift, Ev. 00:59:36.800 --> 00:59:38.620 The night before Halloween is always a bitch. 00:59:38.720 --> 00:59:42.060 Shelves gotta get stocked, pumpkins gotta get carved, cobwebs gotta get hung. 00:59:42.160 --> 00:59:47.680 It just seems weird. You were never this busy when I was... you know, alive. 00:59:47.780 --> 00:59:50.920 Well, that was the off-season and this is game time. 00:59:51.320 --> 00:59:52.700 Well, try to get home early. 00:59:52.800 --> 00:59:57.060 I'll try but I have a feeling tonight is gonna be a big one. 00:59:58.144 --> 01:00:00.360 Kiss, kiss. 01:00:19.640 --> 01:00:22.080 Goodbye, Evelyn. 01:00:26.040 --> 01:00:28.655 Goodbye, honey. 01:00:37.680 --> 01:00:39.300 Sure you're all right with this? 01:00:39.400 --> 01:00:41.380 Don't worry, bro. I'm going to kill it in there. 01:00:42.235 --> 01:00:46.420 - All right, I owe you. - That's what we do. We're family. 01:00:46.520 --> 01:00:48.580 Come here. 01:00:49.280 --> 01:00:51.115 Good luck, Max. 01:00:51.215 --> 01:00:53.681 Thank you. You, too. 01:01:16.200 --> 01:01:18.260 He's not here. Go home. 01:01:18.360 --> 01:01:22.121 I just came to get my Gore-Gore Girls DVD back. Max has had it for months. 01:01:22.221 --> 01:01:24.696 - You can get it tomorrow. - No can do. 01:01:24.796 --> 01:01:29.400 I'm leaving on an epic snowboarding trip. Won't be back till New Year's. 01:01:32.940 --> 01:01:38.020 Well, hello, Evelyn. You're looking especially morbid this evening. 01:01:38.120 --> 01:01:40.400 Just get your DVD and go home, douchebag. 01:01:40.500 --> 01:01:43.280 Easy, thriller. I'll be quick. 01:02:04.080 --> 01:02:06.267 - Hey. - Hey, yourself. 01:02:06.367 --> 01:02:10.100 It's a nice night for zombie movie surrounded by a bunch of dead people. 01:02:10.200 --> 01:02:13.080 I wouldn't have it any other way. 01:02:13.180 --> 01:02:17.915 - Shall we? - We shall. Let's do it. 01:02:18.880 --> 01:02:20.940 Can't you just get it when you come back? 01:02:21.040 --> 01:02:22.880 - Nope. - Why? 01:02:22.980 --> 01:02:25.924 Because it gets very lonely up there. I need my spank material. 01:02:26.024 --> 01:02:29.480 - You are repulsive, you know that? - Right back at ya, toots. 01:02:29.580 --> 01:02:32.480 Hallelujah! The Gore-Gore Girls. It's an instant classic. 01:02:32.580 --> 01:02:34.020 - Great, leave. - No, no, no. 01:02:34.120 --> 01:02:36.683 - I've got to test it out first. - Oh, come on. 01:02:36.783 --> 01:02:39.420 Last time I lent Max a DVD, the damn thing got so scratched up 01:02:39.520 --> 01:02:42.480 it looked like a game of Tetris. I was very upset. 01:02:42.580 --> 01:02:45.250 It was Wild Things... Two. 01:02:45.350 --> 01:02:48.060 I'm sure that your stuff is fine. Now, please leave. 01:02:48.160 --> 01:02:49.980 Two minutes, okay? 01:02:50.080 --> 01:02:51.920 - Two minutes. - Scout's honor. 01:02:52.020 --> 01:02:54.077 - Two minutes. - Yup. 01:02:55.460 --> 01:02:58.020 Do you have any... Do you have any leftovers? 01:02:58.120 --> 01:02:59.966 Travis. 01:03:37.102 --> 01:03:41.460 What a goddess! They don't make them like that anymore. Let me tell you. 01:03:41.560 --> 01:03:44.009 I feel my pants getting tighter. It's getting so hot in here. 01:03:44.109 --> 01:03:46.800 Enough! Your precious porn is fine. Now, get out. 01:03:46.900 --> 01:03:50.434 Just... slow your roll. This is the best part. 01:03:51.120 --> 01:03:53.140 Here it comes. 01:03:53.240 --> 01:03:55.953 Oh, my God. 01:04:00.820 --> 01:04:02.744 How awesome is that? 01:04:02.844 --> 01:04:07.620 I hear they used real brains. The director is very influential. 01:04:18.320 --> 01:04:20.680 I just got the strangest craving. 01:04:21.580 --> 01:04:23.665 Craving for what? 01:04:23.765 --> 01:04:25.640 Brains! 01:04:28.800 --> 01:04:31.473 Help! Help! 01:04:40.600 --> 01:04:43.113 Do you want to get out of here? 01:04:43.213 --> 01:04:44.840 Yeah. 01:04:44.940 --> 01:04:46.300 Okay. 01:04:57.280 --> 01:05:00.360 - It's a little bit messy. - It's all right. 01:05:02.620 --> 01:05:04.840 It's all right. 01:05:10.360 --> 01:05:14.021 - Happy Halloween. - Trick or treat? 01:05:22.100 --> 01:05:24.720 Get off me, you crazy bitch! 01:05:45.472 --> 01:05:49.113 You seem upset, Travis. What's eating you? 01:06:03.720 --> 01:06:06.960 This better not go straight to my thighs. 01:06:32.380 --> 01:06:34.355 Shit! 01:06:34.455 --> 01:06:36.494 Travis. 01:06:38.780 --> 01:06:40.760 What's up? 01:06:41.400 --> 01:06:43.645 What, you're just gonna... 01:06:43.745 --> 01:06:47.380 hump me and dump me? Didn't think you were the type. 01:06:47.480 --> 01:06:50.750 I've got to swing by my place and check on something. 01:06:50.850 --> 01:06:53.695 I'll call you later, okay? 01:06:54.960 --> 01:06:59.497 I'm gonna... call... catch a few more Z's. 01:06:59.960 --> 01:07:02.216 You wore me out. 01:07:03.280 --> 01:07:05.320 Hey... 01:07:05.900 --> 01:07:08.347 You were right, by the way. 01:07:08.447 --> 01:07:11.723 - About what? - It was worth the wait. 01:07:16.320 --> 01:07:18.280 I told you. 01:07:20.420 --> 01:07:22.280 - Bye. - Bye. 01:07:50.360 --> 01:07:52.246 Evelyn. 01:07:52.346 --> 01:07:54.280 Max. 01:07:55.060 --> 01:07:57.054 I've been worried sick. 01:07:57.154 --> 01:08:01.260 I... I was working. I told you. 01:08:01.660 --> 01:08:04.620 I called. No one answered. 01:08:05.320 --> 01:08:08.844 Yeah, I was busy. I'm sorry. 01:08:09.444 --> 01:08:12.040 You changed your clothes. 01:08:12.140 --> 01:08:14.209 Oh, yeah. I... 01:08:15.140 --> 01:08:18.400 I spilled Karo syrup all over them and... 01:08:18.500 --> 01:08:22.140 had to go to the dry cleaner to pick these up. 01:08:22.240 --> 01:08:25.520 Did I... did I miss anything? 01:08:25.620 --> 01:08:28.655 - No. - No? 01:08:29.360 --> 01:08:32.519 I ate dinner. Cleaned up. 01:08:33.180 --> 01:08:34.726 You ate dinner? 01:08:37.420 --> 01:08:39.040 But you're never hungry. 01:08:39.540 --> 01:08:41.672 Well... 01:08:41.772 --> 01:08:43.158 I got a craving. 01:08:45.280 --> 01:08:47.620 What did you do to him, Ev? 01:08:48.470 --> 01:08:49.860 - Where is he? - Max. 01:08:49.960 --> 01:08:51.046 Ev. 01:08:54.740 --> 01:08:57.138 You ate Travis? 01:08:58.400 --> 01:09:00.860 You ate my brother. 01:09:00.960 --> 01:09:03.540 Half brother, Max. 01:09:03.640 --> 01:09:05.870 And the lesser half if you ask me. 01:09:07.120 --> 01:09:09.800 We were family. 01:09:10.680 --> 01:09:12.520 I am your family now. 01:09:12.920 --> 01:09:17.611 He was a user and a loser. Actually, he didn't even taste good. 01:09:20.040 --> 01:09:22.326 I can't believe you did this. 01:09:22.426 --> 01:09:24.800 No more games, Max. 01:09:24.900 --> 01:09:29.381 You promised me that we would be together forever. It's time. 01:09:30.481 --> 01:09:34.920 I promise. It won't hurt that much. 01:09:35.500 --> 01:09:37.660 You're right. 01:09:38.060 --> 01:09:41.120 No more games. Let's do this. 01:09:42.220 --> 01:09:44.297 But... 01:09:46.020 --> 01:09:48.484 - Not here. - Where? 01:09:48.884 --> 01:09:50.931 Why don't you run a... 01:09:51.031 --> 01:09:55.589 run a bath and I'll meet you there in a sec? 01:09:59.420 --> 01:10:02.940 And why don't you make it hot. Nice and hot. 01:10:04.040 --> 01:10:05.596 With bubbles. 01:10:27.000 --> 01:10:30.080 Come on, baby. Got some serious bubbles waiting. 01:10:30.180 --> 01:10:34.745 Yeah, I'm coming. I'm just... doing a little man-scaping. 01:10:47.560 --> 01:10:52.020 - 911. What's your emergency? - Hi, I'd like to report a homicide. 01:10:52.120 --> 01:10:55.897 Bear with me because this is gonna sound really, really, really, really weird, 01:10:55.997 --> 01:10:59.460 but my girlfriend came back from the dead and then she ate my brother 01:10:59.560 --> 01:11:02.000 and now she's gonna eat me. 01:11:02.700 --> 01:11:04.885 Hello? 01:11:04.985 --> 01:11:06.920 Shit. 01:11:08.620 --> 01:11:11.940 Hurry up, Max. The water is getting cold. 01:11:12.740 --> 01:11:17.060 Coming. Just... doing my taint. 01:11:47.380 --> 01:11:50.000 Max, where are you? 01:11:53.660 --> 01:11:56.840 I thought you were done playing games, Max. 01:11:58.000 --> 01:12:00.240 Max! 01:12:39.440 --> 01:12:41.520 Hello? 01:12:41.920 --> 01:12:44.018 Can someone please help me? 01:12:44.118 --> 01:12:47.440 Goddamn it. Hold your horses. 01:12:47.540 --> 01:12:50.940 Been on the john. What's the ruckus? 01:12:51.040 --> 01:12:53.500 You may want to sit down first, sir. 01:13:06.340 --> 01:13:11.280 Hey, the entrance is on the other side, but we're closed right now, okay? 01:13:22.100 --> 01:13:25.714 Trick or treat, smell my feet, 01:13:25.814 --> 01:13:28.800 give me something good to eat. 01:13:28.900 --> 01:13:32.280 I said we're closed right now. Are you deaf? 01:13:41.980 --> 01:13:45.404 Hey, cool costume. 01:13:47.160 --> 01:13:49.356 Give me candy, 01:13:49.456 --> 01:13:51.440 give me cake, 01:13:51.540 --> 01:13:54.187 give me something sweet to take. 01:13:55.140 --> 01:13:57.047 What are you? 01:13:57.147 --> 01:13:59.960 I am resurrected! 01:14:05.120 --> 01:14:07.323 Are you pulling my pickle, sonny boy? 01:14:07.423 --> 01:14:12.000 No, goddamn it. This is actually happening right now. 01:14:12.100 --> 01:14:13.560 Are you on meth? 01:14:13.660 --> 01:14:18.304 No sir, now can you please send a squad car to my apartment, 01:14:18.404 --> 01:14:21.200 preferably with officers that shoot really, really well? 01:14:21.300 --> 01:14:22.560 Attention all units. 01:14:22.660 --> 01:14:26.940 Breaking and entering in a malt shop on the corner of Melrose and Heliotrope. 01:14:27.580 --> 01:14:30.343 What kind of idiot knocks over a malt shop? 01:14:30.443 --> 01:14:32.800 Schmuck knocks over a malt shop. 01:14:32.900 --> 01:14:33.920 Olivia. 01:14:35.840 --> 01:14:37.812 Goddamn meth heads. 01:14:42.080 --> 01:14:44.138 Olivia! 01:14:48.880 --> 01:14:51.640 Goddamn it, Evelyn. 01:14:59.700 --> 01:15:02.705 You think you can just come in and steal my boyfriend 01:15:02.805 --> 01:15:04.260 and nothing's gonna happen to you? 01:15:04.360 --> 01:15:06.895 - Evelyn! - Max! 01:15:06.995 --> 01:15:09.920 You let her go. This is between you and me. 01:15:10.734 --> 01:15:14.020 You cheated on me... with her. 01:15:14.120 --> 01:15:17.940 It's not like that, Ev. Now let her go and I'll explain everything. 01:15:18.240 --> 01:15:20.660 You broke my heart, Max. 01:15:20.760 --> 01:15:24.480 I know, Ev, but it's not beating anymore. 01:15:24.960 --> 01:15:27.000 Now, let her go. I'm not gonna ask again. 01:15:27.100 --> 01:15:30.270 What the hell is going on, Max? 01:15:30.370 --> 01:15:33.751 Olivia, this is Evelyn, 01:15:33.851 --> 01:15:36.820 my dead ex-girlfriend. 01:15:37.220 --> 01:15:40.438 What? This... 01:15:40.538 --> 01:15:45.510 You know, I met you before and you were a bitch then, 01:15:45.610 --> 01:15:47.700 and you're even a bigger bitch now. 01:15:48.100 --> 01:15:49.940 Evelyn! Enough. 01:15:50.040 --> 01:15:53.720 - We were happy together Max. - We weren't. We weren't, Ev. 01:15:53.820 --> 01:15:58.880 I wasn't for a very long time. It's my fault. I should have ended it. 01:15:58.980 --> 01:16:03.468 Now, let her go and we can break up for real this time. 01:16:04.168 --> 01:16:05.840 I don't understand. 01:16:05.940 --> 01:16:09.220 Evelyn, we weren't meant to be together. 01:16:09.320 --> 01:16:10.340 Why? 01:16:10.440 --> 01:16:15.501 You would never be happy with me because I would never be happy. 01:16:16.320 --> 01:16:18.340 Now, it's time to go, Ev. 01:16:18.440 --> 01:16:21.032 It's time to be with your mom. 01:16:21.132 --> 01:16:23.148 Okay. 01:16:24.500 --> 01:16:26.620 But I'm taking you with me. 01:16:39.341 --> 01:16:41.358 Oh, my God, that's so gross. 01:16:56.160 --> 01:16:58.178 Olivia! 01:17:18.119 --> 01:17:21.450 - You won't regret this, baby. - Not on the runner. 01:17:21.550 --> 01:17:24.420 - What? - Not on the runner. 01:17:24.520 --> 01:17:27.719 Not on the runner. Not on the runner. 01:17:39.580 --> 01:17:40.968 Max! 01:17:49.200 --> 01:17:51.460 Can't we just go back to the way things were? 01:17:52.160 --> 01:17:56.059 - You're dead to me. - In the brain, Max, in the brain! 01:18:02.460 --> 01:18:04.939 You asshole. 01:18:13.540 --> 01:18:15.180 - Are you okay? - Are you? 01:18:15.280 --> 01:18:18.368 Yeah. Okay. 01:18:20.740 --> 01:18:24.260 - Olivia, I'm... - Max! Max! 01:18:24.360 --> 01:18:26.540 You can't get rid of me that easily! 01:18:27.876 --> 01:18:32.180 It's over, you stupid zombie bitch! 01:18:44.080 --> 01:18:46.440 Oh, shit. 01:18:47.520 --> 01:18:50.280 Now I'm gonna kill you. 01:18:51.120 --> 01:18:52.232 Both of you. 01:18:57.700 --> 01:18:59.483 Travis! 01:18:59.583 --> 01:19:02.040 That's right, woman. 01:19:03.240 --> 01:19:05.435 Mother... 01:19:09.480 --> 01:19:13.606 - I thought you were dead. - Well, I'm back. 01:19:14.550 --> 01:19:15.865 Oh, God. 01:19:19.825 --> 01:19:21.060 Who are you? 01:19:21.160 --> 01:19:24.800 - Who the hell are you? - I'm Travis. 01:19:25.668 --> 01:19:30.220 Yeah, I'm sorry. Olivia, this is Travis. Travis, this is Olivia. 01:19:30.320 --> 01:19:32.040 Yeah, I've heard a lot about you. 01:19:32.140 --> 01:19:34.770 Jesus Christ, Max. How many zombies do you know? 01:19:34.870 --> 01:19:37.090 Just these two, really. 01:19:37.873 --> 01:19:39.346 So... 01:19:40.268 --> 01:19:42.660 what do we do now? 01:19:42.760 --> 01:19:44.756 Bury your ex. 01:20:02.560 --> 01:20:06.000 Olivia, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this sooner. 01:20:06.100 --> 01:20:09.560 I really wanted to. I just... 01:20:09.660 --> 01:20:11.394 I didn't know how. 01:20:11.494 --> 01:20:15.920 And if you just let me, I promise I will prove to you... 01:20:21.100 --> 01:20:24.200 Let's bury her and get out of here. 01:20:24.300 --> 01:20:27.423 - All right. - Okay. 01:20:36.080 --> 01:20:38.425 Good bye, Evelyn. 01:20:42.900 --> 01:20:45.180 Here you go. 01:20:46.400 --> 01:20:48.967 Stay cool, guys. 01:20:50.840 --> 01:20:53.217 I'll be right with you. 01:20:55.060 --> 01:20:57.140 - Hi. - Hey. 01:20:57.240 --> 01:21:00.180 Thank you, have a hell of a day. 01:21:00.280 --> 01:21:02.196 Hey. 01:21:03.140 --> 01:21:05.680 - Hello. - Hello. 01:21:07.340 --> 01:21:10.098 - How's biz? - It's not bad. You? 01:21:10.598 --> 01:21:14.540 It is so good it's scary. 01:21:14.640 --> 01:21:17.740 Really? Well, then why are you late on this month's rent? 01:21:18.608 --> 01:21:21.140 Because I... 01:21:21.240 --> 01:21:23.920 I spent all my money... 01:21:24.800 --> 01:21:27.283 on this. 01:21:32.880 --> 01:21:36.600 Well, what do you think? 01:21:38.080 --> 01:21:42.360 Max, my love, I think we're gonna make great partners. 01:21:47.920 --> 01:21:51.680 Now, if only you could get your brother to settle down. 01:21:52.680 --> 01:21:56.240 Welcome to Max and Olivia's Cream-atorium. 01:21:57.620 --> 01:22:00.371 Hey, baby, you ever bang a zombie? 01:22:00.471 --> 01:22:04.540 Once you go undead, it's never been better in bed. Just sayin'! 01:25:32.480 --> 01:25:34.355 Go. 01:25:40.520 --> 01:25:41.797 Cut. 01:25:41.897 --> 01:25:44.840 - Gross! - Oh, fuck! 01:25:46.250 --> 01:25:48.929 I was gonna fucking throw up.