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WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.750 --> 00:00:02.953 (UPBEAT FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:01:41.372 --> 00:01:46.372 Subtitles by <font color="#ff0000">explosiveskull</font> Resync by <font color="#00ffff">GoldenBeard</font> 3 00:01:47.889 --> 00:01:49.723 <i>Hi, moms, Stephanie here.</i> 4 00:01:49.725 --> 00:01:52.191 <i>Today, as promised, I'm gonna share</i> 5 00:01:52.193 --> 00:01:55.461 <i>my zucchini chocolate chip cookie recipe.</i> 6 00:01:55.463 --> 00:01:57.363 <i>But first, many of you have asked me</i> 7 00:01:57.365 --> 00:01:59.732 <i>for an update on the Emily situation.</i> 8 00:01:59.734 --> 00:02:02.369 <i>And for those of you who are new to my vlog,</i> 9 00:02:02.371 --> 00:02:06.139 <i>you should know my best friend, Emily, is missing right now.</i> 10 00:02:06.141 --> 00:02:08.308 <i>She asked me a simple favor,</i> 11 00:02:08.310 --> 00:02:10.611 <i>to pick up her son, Nicky, from school,</i> 12 00:02:10.613 --> 00:02:13.413 which was five days ago. 13 00:02:13.415 --> 00:02:15.251 And she hasn't come back yet, so... 14 00:02:16.317 --> 00:02:17.654 (CRYING) 15 00:02:22.291 --> 00:02:24.190 I'm sorry, we're all really worried, 16 00:02:24.192 --> 00:02:29.329 and I'm doing everything I can to help the police track her down. 17 00:02:29.331 --> 00:02:32.432 But I'm realizing I don't (SNIFFLES) know her as well as I thought I did. 18 00:02:32.434 --> 00:02:34.234 It's like my mom used to say, 19 00:02:34.236 --> 00:02:35.903 God rest her soul. Um... 20 00:02:35.905 --> 00:02:37.938 Secrets are like margarine, 21 00:02:37.940 --> 00:02:40.641 easy to spread, bad for the heart. (SNIFFLES) 22 00:02:40.643 --> 00:02:42.409 But as different as we are, 23 00:02:42.411 --> 00:02:44.444 I do consider Emily my best friend. 24 00:02:44.446 --> 00:02:47.480 She is this wonderful, elegant person. 25 00:02:47.482 --> 00:02:49.950 And our sons brought us together, actually. 26 00:02:49.952 --> 00:02:52.285 (THUNDER RUMBLING) <i>Well, for our new friends,</i> 27 00:02:52.287 --> 00:02:53.886 <i>I'll just start from the beginning.</i> 28 00:02:53.888 --> 00:02:56.689 <i>I met Emily a few weeks ago</i> 29 00:02:56.691 --> 00:02:57.690 <i>at school.</i> 30 00:02:57.692 --> 00:02:59.593 <i>It was International Cuisine Day</i> 31 00:02:59.595 --> 00:03:01.427 <i>in my son's first grade class.</i> 32 00:03:01.429 --> 00:03:03.330 <i>And once again, I drew Sweden,</i> 33 00:03:03.332 --> 00:03:05.731 <i>which meant my famous meatless meatballs.</i> 34 00:03:05.733 --> 00:03:07.333 You're all dead! 35 00:03:07.335 --> 00:03:09.268 I killed everyone! 36 00:03:09.270 --> 00:03:11.438 Not me. I came back to life. 37 00:03:11.440 --> 00:03:13.339 - (CAMERA CLICKING) - I want to thank everyone, 38 00:03:13.341 --> 00:03:16.944 who participated in today's feast. Yay! 39 00:03:16.946 --> 00:03:18.678 Class, haven't we learned so much 40 00:03:18.680 --> 00:03:20.446 about food from all around the world? 41 00:03:20.448 --> 00:03:21.682 CHILDREN: Yes! 42 00:03:21.684 --> 00:03:23.749 Give your parents a big round of applause. 43 00:03:23.751 --> 00:03:25.385 STEPHANIE: That looks great! 44 00:03:25.387 --> 00:03:26.820 - Big smile! - SONA: Oh, my gosh. 45 00:03:26.822 --> 00:03:28.855 Where does she get all that energy from? 46 00:03:28.857 --> 00:03:29.855 STEPHANIE: What are you looking at? 47 00:03:29.857 --> 00:03:31.925 I think there's crystal meth in those meatballs. 48 00:03:31.927 --> 00:03:34.260 Oh, parents, there's a sign-up sheet on the board 49 00:03:34.262 --> 00:03:36.663 for our Fun Fair next week. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 50 00:03:36.665 --> 00:03:38.865 Uh, please, Stephanie, don't sign up 51 00:03:38.867 --> 00:03:40.566 for more than one job. 52 00:03:40.568 --> 00:03:43.536 I'm not sure everyone else has had a chance to volunteer. 53 00:03:43.538 --> 00:03:44.707 (TOYS CLATTERING) 54 00:03:46.407 --> 00:03:48.441 Miles, sweetie, sweetie, maybe just be careful 55 00:03:48.443 --> 00:03:50.476 with your fingers with Nicky's truck, okay? 56 00:03:50.478 --> 00:03:52.246 Has Nicky's mom volunteered? 57 00:03:52.248 --> 00:03:53.847 Emily? Please. She wouldn't know 58 00:03:53.849 --> 00:03:55.415 a sign-up sheet if it bit her on the ass. 59 00:03:55.417 --> 00:03:58.252 God, it'd be my dream to run PR for Dennis Nylon. 60 00:03:58.254 --> 00:03:59.952 Can you imagine all the free shit she must get? 61 00:03:59.954 --> 00:04:00.820 - DARREN: I know. - Okay, 62 00:04:00.822 --> 00:04:02.488 I'm crossing myself off decorations. 63 00:04:02.490 --> 00:04:03.956 I can leave that open for Emily. 64 00:04:03.958 --> 00:04:04.992 And then if she can't make it, 65 00:04:04.994 --> 00:04:06.860 I can still bring my balloons and helium tank. 66 00:04:06.862 --> 00:04:08.327 Please tell me you don't actually 67 00:04:08.329 --> 00:04:10.296 own a helium tank, Stephanie. 68 00:04:10.298 --> 00:04:12.665 I think lots of people own helium tanks, Stacy. 69 00:04:12.667 --> 00:04:14.333 Because kids love balloons. 70 00:04:14.335 --> 00:04:15.736 Do you not have one? 71 00:04:15.738 --> 00:04:18.604 You a bad parent? (CHUCKLES) I'm kidding. 72 00:04:18.606 --> 00:04:20.039 We're terrible parents. 73 00:04:20.041 --> 00:04:22.842 I think it's a perfect plan, Stephanie. 74 00:04:22.844 --> 00:04:25.611 Good thinking, Stephanie. 75 00:04:25.613 --> 00:04:27.481 (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) 76 00:04:27.483 --> 00:04:28.914 Hey, Smooch! 77 00:04:28.916 --> 00:04:31.484 Oh, great work today, Smooch. 78 00:04:31.486 --> 00:04:32.551 Smooch! 79 00:04:32.553 --> 00:04:34.320 - Thanks a lot, Mom. - Oh. 80 00:04:34.322 --> 00:04:36.356 Can me and Miles have a play date today? 81 00:04:36.358 --> 00:04:38.325 Um, I don't know, sweetie. 82 00:04:38.327 --> 00:04:39.592 I think we need to ask your mommy, 83 00:04:39.594 --> 00:04:41.460 and she's still in the city. 84 00:04:41.462 --> 00:04:42.695 She's right there. 85 00:04:42.697 --> 00:04:44.000 (CAR DOOR OPENS) 86 00:04:55.844 --> 00:04:57.814 (WIND HOWLING) 87 00:04:59.748 --> 00:05:01.750 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 88 00:05:06.555 --> 00:05:08.621 Come here, little dude. 89 00:05:08.623 --> 00:05:10.856 Oh, my baby! (KISSES) 90 00:05:10.858 --> 00:05:13.794 Look at your shirt. Did any food make it into your mouth? 91 00:05:13.796 --> 00:05:15.762 Ask her, Nicky, ask her! 92 00:05:15.764 --> 00:05:16.863 Ask me what? 93 00:05:16.865 --> 00:05:17.830 NICKY: We want a play date. 94 00:05:17.832 --> 00:05:20.099 Oh, we can't. Mommy already has a play date 95 00:05:20.101 --> 00:05:22.635 with a symphony of anti-depressants. Let's go. 96 00:05:22.637 --> 00:05:24.738 BOTH: (CHANTING) Play date! Play date! Play date! 97 00:05:24.740 --> 00:05:26.907 Baby, please don't do this. I gotta go. 98 00:05:26.909 --> 00:05:28.342 Come on. I got a ton of work to do. 99 00:05:28.344 --> 00:05:29.810 You don't let me have any fun. 100 00:05:29.812 --> 00:05:32.678 That's not true. I let you tear my labia 101 00:05:32.680 --> 00:05:34.651 as you exited my body, so you're welcome. 102 00:05:37.885 --> 00:05:39.486 Do you drink? 103 00:05:39.488 --> 00:05:42.621 - I need a martini. - Oh! Uh... 104 00:05:42.623 --> 00:05:45.726 Yeah. I like martinis. I haven't had one in a long time. 105 00:05:45.728 --> 00:05:48.527 They're good, though. Had one that was mostly chocolate. 106 00:05:48.529 --> 00:05:50.731 And I was like, "Alcohol and chocolate!" 107 00:05:50.733 --> 00:05:51.798 (CHUCKLES) Mom life. 108 00:05:51.800 --> 00:05:54.935 Oh, okay. No play date. Come on, kid, let's go. 109 00:05:54.937 --> 00:05:56.635 Then I'm staying here. 110 00:05:56.637 --> 00:05:59.005 Christ, he's fucking stubborn. 111 00:05:59.007 --> 00:06:01.375 It doesn't have to have the chocolate in it. 112 00:06:01.377 --> 00:06:05.111 Okay, I don't think I'm gonna win this, so, um... 113 00:06:05.113 --> 00:06:08.582 I mean, do you wanna come over for a beverage of any kind? 114 00:06:08.584 --> 00:06:10.082 I think I could use some backup. 115 00:06:10.084 --> 00:06:11.717 That's me? I'm backup? 116 00:06:11.719 --> 00:06:13.387 Does your kid drink, maybe? 117 00:06:13.389 --> 00:06:15.421 I mean, it's never too early to start teaching them. 118 00:06:15.423 --> 00:06:17.556 I think you're joking, but great. 119 00:06:17.558 --> 00:06:19.024 - Sweetie... - Hey, you, let's go. 120 00:06:19.026 --> 00:06:19.960 Let's get your umbrella out, okay? 121 00:06:19.962 --> 00:06:23.029 Because we're gonna go out in the rain. 122 00:06:23.031 --> 00:06:25.464 STACY: What on Earth are those two gonna talk about? 123 00:06:25.466 --> 00:06:28.835 Emily's gonna eat poor Stephanie alive. 124 00:06:28.837 --> 00:06:30.871 At least she'd be eating something. 125 00:06:30.873 --> 00:06:33.608 - (GIRL BABBLING) - What is your problem? 126 00:06:41.616 --> 00:06:43.784 Go show him your room. Go. 127 00:06:43.786 --> 00:06:45.452 STEPHANIE: Oh, please don't run! 128 00:06:45.454 --> 00:06:47.423 Be safe please! 129 00:06:49.658 --> 00:06:50.991 Cute socks. 130 00:06:50.993 --> 00:06:52.758 STEPHANIE: Oh, thanks! 131 00:06:52.760 --> 00:06:54.661 They're from Target. It's 10 bucks a pack. 132 00:06:54.663 --> 00:06:56.128 - So great, Target. - Yeah. 133 00:06:56.130 --> 00:06:57.229 They have other animals. 134 00:06:57.231 --> 00:07:00.135 They have these squirrel ones are cute, chipmunks, 135 00:07:01.036 --> 00:07:02.071 beavers... 136 00:07:02.738 --> 00:07:05.906 That's so lifelike. 137 00:07:05.908 --> 00:07:07.106 EMILY: Yeah. 138 00:07:07.108 --> 00:07:08.674 Do you like it? 139 00:07:08.676 --> 00:07:10.912 (STAMMERS) How could you not? It's, um... 140 00:07:11.212 --> 00:07:12.846 Right? 141 00:07:12.848 --> 00:07:15.080 I used to dye my hair. I get bored easily. 142 00:07:15.082 --> 00:07:16.817 STEPHANIE: Yeah. 143 00:07:16.819 --> 00:07:18.652 Did you paint that? 144 00:07:18.654 --> 00:07:21.587 No. No, no. It's made by an almost famous painter 145 00:07:21.589 --> 00:07:22.589 - from the East Village. - (MELLOW FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) 146 00:07:22.591 --> 00:07:24.758 My life is littered with almost-somebodies. 147 00:07:24.760 --> 00:07:26.659 I did some art modeling in school 148 00:07:26.661 --> 00:07:28.227 to pay my way through. 149 00:07:28.229 --> 00:07:30.630 Then the pervert got obsessed with me. 150 00:07:30.632 --> 00:07:32.032 Oh, well, that happens, yeah. 151 00:07:32.034 --> 00:07:33.467 So I stole the painting, you know, 152 00:07:33.469 --> 00:07:34.868 thinking it'd be worth something someday. 153 00:07:34.870 --> 00:07:37.673 But, no. (CLICKS TONGUE) No such luck. 154 00:07:39.740 --> 00:07:41.707 This house is incredible. 155 00:07:41.709 --> 00:07:43.075 Thanks. It's a fucking money pit. 156 00:07:43.077 --> 00:07:46.046 - Oopsy. - Hmm? 157 00:07:46.048 --> 00:07:49.883 Oh, sorry. It's, um, what we say at my house when someone swears. 158 00:07:49.885 --> 00:07:51.116 It's a force of habit. 159 00:07:51.118 --> 00:07:54.154 We have an oopsy jar in the pantry. 160 00:07:54.156 --> 00:07:55.488 It's like, you know. 161 00:07:55.490 --> 00:07:58.123 Put a quarter in for every bad word. 162 00:07:58.125 --> 00:07:59.960 You should smash the oopsy jar. 163 00:07:59.962 --> 00:08:01.060 That might change your life. 164 00:08:01.062 --> 00:08:02.962 Yeah. Ugh. Sorry. 165 00:08:02.964 --> 00:08:04.130 Don't say sorry. 166 00:08:04.132 --> 00:08:06.132 You don't need to do that. You don't need to apologize. 167 00:08:06.134 --> 00:08:07.666 It's a fucked-up female habit. 168 00:08:07.668 --> 00:08:09.669 You don't need to be sorry for anything, ever. 169 00:08:09.671 --> 00:08:11.837 That's true. That's great advice. 170 00:08:11.839 --> 00:08:13.108 Thank you. 171 00:08:14.610 --> 00:08:16.142 I love this music, by the way. 172 00:08:16.144 --> 00:08:17.710 Thanks. Yeah. 173 00:08:17.712 --> 00:08:19.813 Makes me forget I'm stuck in this shithole. 174 00:08:19.815 --> 00:08:21.214 I'm gonna go get booze. 175 00:08:21.216 --> 00:08:22.552 Great! 176 00:08:24.620 --> 00:08:26.055 (FRENCH MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 177 00:08:44.805 --> 00:08:45.807 (GASPS) 178 00:08:47.675 --> 00:08:49.241 (CLEARS THROAT) 179 00:08:49.243 --> 00:08:51.848 I was really caught up in the ambiance. 180 00:08:52.814 --> 00:08:53.980 (LAUGHS) 181 00:08:53.982 --> 00:08:55.818 Come on, give me a little more. 182 00:08:56.752 --> 00:08:59.084 Oh! (LAUGHING) 183 00:08:59.086 --> 00:09:01.321 I liked it. I may join you later. 184 00:09:01.323 --> 00:09:04.090 Oh! You must love cooking in this kitchen! 185 00:09:04.092 --> 00:09:07.059 No, not really. Sean does. 186 00:09:07.061 --> 00:09:10.063 I think it's probably just an excuse to avoid writing. 187 00:09:10.065 --> 00:09:11.664 Your husband's a writer? 188 00:09:11.666 --> 00:09:13.699 No. He wrote a book 10 years ago. 189 00:09:13.701 --> 00:09:15.034 It made him the toast of the town. 190 00:09:15.036 --> 00:09:16.236 I actually had to stalk him 191 00:09:16.238 --> 00:09:17.404 to make him fall in love with me. 192 00:09:17.406 --> 00:09:20.840 But then, nothing. He never wrote anything ever again. 193 00:09:20.842 --> 00:09:23.342 - It's the old bait-and-switch. - What was the book? 194 00:09:23.344 --> 00:09:25.645 It's called <i>Darkness at Dawn.</i> 195 00:09:25.647 --> 00:09:28.014 Oh, my gosh! I read that in my book club! 196 00:09:28.016 --> 00:09:29.316 - Really? - This was... Yeah. 197 00:09:29.318 --> 00:09:31.183 Well, this was back when I first became a single mom, 198 00:09:31.185 --> 00:09:33.653 and I joined this book club, and that was the first book we read. 199 00:09:33.655 --> 00:09:35.588 It's so impressive. 200 00:09:35.590 --> 00:09:36.625 So you're divorced, then? 201 00:09:37.858 --> 00:09:38.894 Widowed. 202 00:09:41.597 --> 00:09:43.099 Do you mind if I ask how he died? 203 00:09:52.239 --> 00:09:54.374 Car accident. 204 00:09:54.376 --> 00:09:57.242 - Oh. How awful. - Yeah. 205 00:09:57.244 --> 00:09:59.846 My brother, Chris, was in the passenger seat, so... 206 00:09:59.848 --> 00:10:01.680 You're kidding. 207 00:10:01.682 --> 00:10:02.915 One fell swoop, and the two 208 00:10:02.917 --> 00:10:04.985 most important men in my life were gone. 209 00:10:04.987 --> 00:10:06.986 Normally, sad stories don't get to me. 210 00:10:06.988 --> 00:10:08.121 But that one... 211 00:10:08.123 --> 00:10:09.655 That one did. That was brutal. 212 00:10:09.657 --> 00:10:11.357 I don't talk about it a lot. 213 00:10:11.359 --> 00:10:12.692 Especially with people I just met. 214 00:10:12.694 --> 00:10:15.061 I'm really sorry. Oh! Mmm... 215 00:10:15.063 --> 00:10:16.328 Baby, if you apologize again, 216 00:10:16.330 --> 00:10:17.963 I'm gonna have to slap the sorry out of you. 217 00:10:17.965 --> 00:10:19.899 Yeah. That's... I'm not sorry. 218 00:10:19.901 --> 00:10:21.668 That's a hard habit to break, though. 219 00:10:21.670 --> 00:10:23.102 It is. 220 00:10:23.104 --> 00:10:25.071 So, are you dating anyone? 221 00:10:25.073 --> 00:10:27.374 No. Slim pickings in Warfield. 222 00:10:27.376 --> 00:10:30.644 Well, you are an hour and a half outside the city. 223 00:10:30.646 --> 00:10:33.913 I'm not gonna date someone from the city. (CHUCKLES) 224 00:10:33.915 --> 00:10:35.814 I tried eHarmony for a while, 225 00:10:35.816 --> 00:10:37.082 and then that mother of three wound up 226 00:10:37.084 --> 00:10:38.284 with her head in the trash can, 227 00:10:38.286 --> 00:10:40.086 you remember that? And I... Ugh. 228 00:10:40.088 --> 00:10:42.054 I said, "No thank you. Delete." 229 00:10:42.056 --> 00:10:43.756 - (LAUGHS) - What? 230 00:10:43.758 --> 00:10:44.890 Come on, baby, 231 00:10:44.892 --> 00:10:47.861 - you're too sexy to give up. - (CHUCKLES) 232 00:10:47.863 --> 00:10:49.962 That's nice. I don't know. Um... 233 00:10:49.964 --> 00:10:51.898 If your head's gonna end up in a trash can, 234 00:10:51.900 --> 00:10:53.766 your head's gonna end up in a trash can. 235 00:10:53.768 --> 00:10:56.336 I just didn't think I would end up a single mom, 236 00:10:56.338 --> 00:10:58.103 struggling to make ends meet. 237 00:10:58.105 --> 00:10:59.838 I mean, my husband had life insurance, 238 00:10:59.840 --> 00:11:01.374 thank goodness, but not a lot. 239 00:11:01.376 --> 00:11:03.009 I put half of that away for Miles' college, 240 00:11:03.011 --> 00:11:05.978 and so, with that coming in, 241 00:11:05.980 --> 00:11:08.747 the money still runs out in 2020. 242 00:11:08.749 --> 00:11:10.250 Thank God for his life insurance. 243 00:11:10.252 --> 00:11:11.317 Yeah. 244 00:11:11.319 --> 00:11:12.351 My husband doesn't have anything 245 00:11:12.353 --> 00:11:14.453 if it makes you feel better. But he does spend like 246 00:11:14.455 --> 00:11:16.155 - he's the man of the hour. - (CHUCKLES) 247 00:11:16.157 --> 00:11:18.058 Fucking have to pay for everything. 248 00:11:18.060 --> 00:11:19.992 We can't even sell this house. 249 00:11:19.994 --> 00:11:21.694 We bought it during the bubble. 250 00:11:21.696 --> 00:11:23.362 I love your house. 251 00:11:23.364 --> 00:11:25.365 Don't dream of selling it. 252 00:11:25.367 --> 00:11:29.639 If I were you, I'd just bask in this kitchen all day long! 253 00:11:30.872 --> 00:11:33.807 - Then you should move in. - (CHUCKLES) 254 00:11:33.809 --> 00:11:35.475 Here. Cheers to being house poor. 255 00:11:35.477 --> 00:11:37.079 Yes, cheers! 256 00:11:40.114 --> 00:11:41.116 EMILY: Mmm. What? 257 00:11:41.950 --> 00:11:43.283 STEPHANIE: That's, uh... 258 00:11:43.285 --> 00:11:45.018 It's just another one of my bad decisions. 259 00:11:45.020 --> 00:11:47.153 Yeah. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) It's great. 260 00:11:47.155 --> 00:11:48.388 Is that a charity symbol? 261 00:11:48.390 --> 00:11:51.725 Yeah, Mother Teresa and I are, like, the same person, so... 262 00:11:51.727 --> 00:11:54.059 It's a nice contrast with your ring. 263 00:11:54.061 --> 00:11:56.395 Thanks. Yeah, this is a family heirloom. 264 00:11:56.397 --> 00:11:57.996 It belonged to Sean's great-grandmom, 265 00:11:57.998 --> 00:11:58.997 and then his mom, 266 00:11:58.999 --> 00:12:00.967 and she insisted that I have it, so, you know? 267 00:12:00.969 --> 00:12:02.736 SEAN: Whose Subaru is blocking the garage? 268 00:12:02.738 --> 00:12:05.739 - Speak of the devil. - Oh, that's mine. I'm sorry... 269 00:12:05.741 --> 00:12:07.774 - You're what? - Mmm... 270 00:12:07.776 --> 00:12:09.476 Your wife is trying to get me to stop apologizing. 271 00:12:09.478 --> 00:12:12.946 Or maybe you can get her to start. 272 00:12:12.948 --> 00:12:15.115 - Oh! Hi. - Hi. 273 00:12:15.117 --> 00:12:16.348 - Hi. - EMILY: Hi. 274 00:12:16.350 --> 00:12:18.217 Oh, martini time? 275 00:12:18.219 --> 00:12:20.053 I'm sure it's 5:00 somewhere. 276 00:12:20.055 --> 00:12:21.187 Oh, my God, did you just come up 277 00:12:21.189 --> 00:12:22.355 with that cliche by yourself? 278 00:12:22.357 --> 00:12:23.856 He's such a brilliant writer. 279 00:12:23.858 --> 00:12:26.092 I have to say, you inspire me. 280 00:12:26.094 --> 00:12:27.526 EMILY: Not enough, apparently. 281 00:12:27.528 --> 00:12:28.995 SEAN: "Why, thank you very much 282 00:12:28.997 --> 00:12:30.496 "for going to the grocery store," he said, 283 00:12:30.498 --> 00:12:33.232 dripping with sarcasm. 284 00:12:33.234 --> 00:12:34.933 Oh, I figured you'd want a break 285 00:12:34.935 --> 00:12:37.537 - from not writing ever. - (LAUGHS) 286 00:12:37.539 --> 00:12:41.140 With that fatal blow, she won the joust. 287 00:12:41.142 --> 00:12:42.976 - Well played. - Hmm. Thank you. 288 00:12:42.978 --> 00:12:44.544 - This is Stephanie. - Hi, Stephanie. 289 00:12:44.546 --> 00:12:46.312 Her kid goes to Warfield with our kid. 290 00:12:46.314 --> 00:12:47.750 She read your book. 291 00:12:48.883 --> 00:12:50.382 I did. I loved it! 292 00:12:50.384 --> 00:12:52.018 It reminded me of William Thackeray. 293 00:12:52.020 --> 00:12:53.218 She really read it. 294 00:12:53.220 --> 00:12:54.953 Wow, not many people 295 00:12:54.955 --> 00:12:56.322 trot out Thackeray as a reference. 296 00:12:56.324 --> 00:12:58.457 Oh, I was an English major at Barnard. 297 00:12:58.459 --> 00:12:59.858 It was pre-mommy brain. 298 00:12:59.860 --> 00:13:01.427 I did my thesis on the <i>Canterbury Tales.</i> 299 00:13:01.429 --> 00:13:03.462 "And with that word Arcite gan espye, 300 00:13:03.464 --> 00:13:05.798 "whereas this lady roamed to and fro." 301 00:13:05.800 --> 00:13:09.003 "And with that sight, her beauty hurt him so." 302 00:13:10.472 --> 00:13:12.071 I'm sorry, do you guys wanna get a room? 303 00:13:12.073 --> 00:13:13.809 - Am I breaking this up? - (ALL CHUCKLING) 304 00:13:14.175 --> 00:13:15.108 I like that. 305 00:13:15.110 --> 00:13:17.443 Hey, do you want me to make you a drink? 306 00:13:17.445 --> 00:13:19.111 No. I'm good. You guys enjoy. 307 00:13:19.113 --> 00:13:20.413 I'm gonna head upstairs for a shower. 308 00:13:20.415 --> 00:13:22.414 Okay. 309 00:13:22.416 --> 00:13:24.483 SEAN: Nice to meet you, Sharon. 310 00:13:24.485 --> 00:13:27.319 Yeah. It's lovely to meet you. 311 00:13:27.321 --> 00:13:29.121 He's terrible with names. 312 00:13:29.123 --> 00:13:31.491 Oh, yeah. I mean, Stephanie's crazy. 313 00:13:31.493 --> 00:13:34.526 Like P-H-what? (CHUCKLES) 314 00:13:34.528 --> 00:13:36.862 You guys are such a cute couple. 315 00:13:36.864 --> 00:13:38.597 Yeah, we're on the verge of bankruptcy, 316 00:13:38.599 --> 00:13:40.933 and we can't find a decent nanny 317 00:13:40.935 --> 00:13:42.271 in all of Connecticut, so... 318 00:13:43.504 --> 00:13:44.837 Drowning. 319 00:13:44.839 --> 00:13:46.505 If you ever need me to pick up Nicky 320 00:13:46.507 --> 00:13:48.106 after school and take him to my house, 321 00:13:48.108 --> 00:13:50.378 even if you just need the night off... 322 00:13:51.179 --> 00:13:52.444 You'd do that for me? 323 00:13:52.446 --> 00:13:54.015 Yeah. Anything. 324 00:13:59.286 --> 00:14:00.488 (CLEARS THROAT) 325 00:14:03.190 --> 00:14:04.591 <i>Hi, moms, Stephanie here.</i> 326 00:14:04.593 --> 00:14:07.363 <i>If it's your first visit to the vlog, a hearty welcome.</i> 327 00:14:08.363 --> 00:14:10.329 <i>Today's theme is friendship.</i> 328 00:14:10.331 --> 00:14:12.467 <i>So today, I thought we would make</i> 329 00:14:14.169 --> 00:14:16.101 <i>friendship bracelets!</i> 330 00:14:16.103 --> 00:14:17.636 - (CELL PHONE RINGING) - <i>I have never understood</i> 331 00:14:17.638 --> 00:14:19.872 <i>these silly, hurtful divisions</i> 332 00:14:19.874 --> 00:14:22.107 <i>between working moms and stay-at-home moms.</i> 333 00:14:22.109 --> 00:14:23.543 <i>Honestly, I have found it difficult</i> 334 00:14:23.545 --> 00:14:25.377 <i>to make friends with either.</i> 335 00:14:25.379 --> 00:14:28.014 Emily! Hi, what's up, lady? 336 00:14:28.016 --> 00:14:29.448 EMILY: <i>Hey, I was wondering if I could</i> 337 00:14:29.450 --> 00:14:31.183 <i>take you up on your offer to pick up Nicky.</i> 338 00:14:31.185 --> 00:14:33.186 <i>I'm in a meeting with no end in sight.</i> 339 00:14:33.188 --> 00:14:34.987 Uh, yeah, I'm happy to help. 340 00:14:34.989 --> 00:14:37.923 Actually, I just got this jumbo set of Perler beads... 341 00:14:37.925 --> 00:14:39.391 EMILY: <i>Yeah, yeah, okay. You're the best.</i> 342 00:14:39.393 --> 00:14:42.327 Okay. Um, just... Does Nicky have any dietary restrictions? 343 00:14:42.329 --> 00:14:45.497 <i>Yeah, just don't feed him shit he doesn't like. Thanks.</i> 344 00:14:45.499 --> 00:14:48.067 Don't feed... Okay. 345 00:14:48.069 --> 00:14:49.972 Oh, my God, she's so funny. 346 00:14:51.039 --> 00:14:53.472 Whoo! 347 00:14:53.474 --> 00:14:56.275 EMILY: No, no, no, Dennis, this is what's gonna happen. 348 00:14:56.277 --> 00:14:57.644 I'm gonna do my job, 349 00:14:57.646 --> 00:14:59.077 you're gonna take some pills, 350 00:14:59.079 --> 00:15:01.213 and then I'm gonna call you later. Okay? 351 00:15:01.215 --> 00:15:02.917 What? Oh, oh, I can't hear you. 352 00:15:03.949 --> 00:15:04.317 I'm in an elevator. 353 00:15:04.319 --> 00:15:06.218 STEPHANIE: I am hungry for flesh! 354 00:15:06.220 --> 00:15:07.422 (CHILDREN PLAYING) 355 00:15:11.526 --> 00:15:14.559 Just Darth Mommy, it's this game... 356 00:15:14.561 --> 00:15:15.962 It's really silly. 357 00:15:15.964 --> 00:15:17.263 Honestly, his dad was much better 358 00:15:17.265 --> 00:15:18.463 at the roughhousing stuff. 359 00:15:18.465 --> 00:15:20.232 - Don't do that. - Do what? 360 00:15:20.234 --> 00:15:21.668 Don't denigrate your good parenting 361 00:15:21.670 --> 00:15:23.535 to comfort me for my shitty parenting. 362 00:15:23.537 --> 00:15:25.304 Oh, gosh, no, Emily, that's... 363 00:15:25.306 --> 00:15:26.505 That's not what I was doing at all. 364 00:15:26.507 --> 00:15:28.006 I think you're a super mom. 365 00:15:28.008 --> 00:15:29.241 Oh, no, you don't. 366 00:15:29.243 --> 00:15:30.309 Come on, your kid had 367 00:15:30.311 --> 00:15:31.611 lobster bisque for lunch the other day. 368 00:15:31.613 --> 00:15:33.413 I'm lucky if I remember my kid's lunch box. 369 00:15:33.415 --> 00:15:34.614 Honestly, it's fine. 370 00:15:34.616 --> 00:15:37.019 The nicest thing I could do for Nicky is blow my brains out. 371 00:15:41.222 --> 00:15:42.355 I'm kidding. 372 00:15:42.357 --> 00:15:44.323 Right. Yeah. Well... 373 00:15:44.325 --> 00:15:47.961 You do work in the city, so... 374 00:15:47.963 --> 00:15:50.132 - Oh, my gosh! - Oh, my gosh! 375 00:15:51.333 --> 00:15:52.635 (CAMERA CLICKS) 376 00:15:55.637 --> 00:15:57.437 Did you just take my picture? 377 00:15:57.439 --> 00:15:59.005 I'm yearbook mom. 378 00:15:59.007 --> 00:16:00.740 Did I ask you to take my picture? 379 00:16:00.742 --> 00:16:01.908 Erase it. 380 00:16:01.910 --> 00:16:04.376 You look really chic, it's just for "Faces and Places." 381 00:16:04.378 --> 00:16:05.712 Just for the other parents. 382 00:16:05.714 --> 00:16:07.547 Erase it or I'll slap a fucking injunction 383 00:16:07.549 --> 00:16:09.148 on your yearbook, do you understand? 384 00:16:09.150 --> 00:16:10.683 Yeah. Okay. 385 00:16:10.685 --> 00:16:12.485 - (CAMERA BEEPING) - Yeah, it's gone. 386 00:16:12.487 --> 00:16:14.087 Whoa. Bye-bye. 387 00:16:14.089 --> 00:16:15.587 Don't do that again. 388 00:16:15.589 --> 00:16:17.390 Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. 389 00:16:17.392 --> 00:16:20.492 Or, I didn't mean to offend you. 390 00:16:20.494 --> 00:16:22.227 Um... I'm sure that stuff's 391 00:16:22.229 --> 00:16:23.596 really sensitive in your industry. 392 00:16:23.598 --> 00:16:25.231 - (CELL PHONE RINGING) - Oh, no. It's all good. 393 00:16:25.233 --> 00:16:26.366 I guess I'm probably not the kind of person 394 00:16:26.368 --> 00:16:27.467 you're normally friends with. 395 00:16:27.469 --> 00:16:30.436 Oh, you do not wanna be friends with me. Trust me. 396 00:16:30.438 --> 00:16:31.670 Dennis, sweetie, 397 00:16:31.672 --> 00:16:33.338 let's try this again. Um... 398 00:16:33.340 --> 00:16:34.741 Okay, I want you to go home 399 00:16:34.743 --> 00:16:36.141 and chill the fuck out 400 00:16:36.143 --> 00:16:37.613 and don't ever call me again. Bye. 401 00:16:39.347 --> 00:16:40.679 That's how you talk to your boss? 402 00:16:40.681 --> 00:16:42.648 Yeah. You know, you gotta go right at 'em. 403 00:16:42.650 --> 00:16:44.049 Especially the powerful ones. 404 00:16:44.051 --> 00:16:45.521 Or they will fuck you in the face. 405 00:16:46.253 --> 00:16:48.553 Yeah, I get that. 406 00:16:48.555 --> 00:16:50.088 Wanna get out of here? 407 00:16:50.090 --> 00:16:51.457 Mommy needs a drink. 408 00:16:51.459 --> 00:16:53.259 - (FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) - Yeah. 409 00:16:53.261 --> 00:16:54.427 Totally. 410 00:16:54.429 --> 00:16:55.698 Nicky! 411 00:16:56.664 --> 00:16:58.597 STEPHANIE: Okay, guys... 412 00:16:58.599 --> 00:17:00.732 I guess we're going. 413 00:17:00.734 --> 00:17:03.436 EMILY: Hey! Nicky, come! Now! 414 00:17:03.438 --> 00:17:05.737 Okay. I have a gift for you. Please close your eyes. 415 00:17:05.739 --> 00:17:07.105 - Mmm-mmm. - Yeah. Hold out 416 00:17:07.107 --> 00:17:08.174 your tattoo hand, please. 417 00:17:08.176 --> 00:17:09.675 This is happening. I'll wait all day. 418 00:17:09.677 --> 00:17:11.213 - Are you propositioning me? - Yes. 419 00:17:12.479 --> 00:17:14.083 Here. I made that for you. 420 00:17:15.682 --> 00:17:16.815 You made this for me? 421 00:17:16.817 --> 00:17:19.317 Thought it would go with that pinstriped suit you have. 422 00:17:19.319 --> 00:17:20.786 Really? That's nice. 423 00:17:20.788 --> 00:17:22.721 No one does stuff like this for me. 424 00:17:22.723 --> 00:17:26.292 I used to watch those <i>Bewitched</i> reruns on TV Land, 425 00:17:26.294 --> 00:17:27.826 and I always thought it was so classy 426 00:17:27.828 --> 00:17:29.227 when Darrin would come from work 427 00:17:29.229 --> 00:17:31.130 and Samantha would fix him a martini. 428 00:17:31.132 --> 00:17:33.698 Every time we do this, I feel so high-tone. 429 00:17:33.700 --> 00:17:37.437 - My God, you're such a nerd. - (CHUCKLES WEAKLY) 430 00:17:37.439 --> 00:17:39.705 Ugh. Fuck this. I need a real martini. 431 00:17:39.707 --> 00:17:41.340 - This one's not real? - Nope. 432 00:17:41.342 --> 00:17:43.242 Sean and I had the real thing at Dukes in London. 433 00:17:43.244 --> 00:17:45.544 The key, frozen gin. 434 00:17:45.546 --> 00:17:48.313 And a frozen glass. Here. 435 00:17:48.315 --> 00:17:49.550 Move, bad martini. 436 00:17:50.384 --> 00:17:51.717 Okay. 437 00:17:51.719 --> 00:17:53.652 Little bit of vermouth. 438 00:17:53.654 --> 00:17:56.823 - Swirl it around, dump. - (SPLASHES) 439 00:17:56.825 --> 00:17:59.225 Don't you dare touch that wash cloth. 440 00:17:59.227 --> 00:18:01.563 Then add in the gin. 441 00:18:02.197 --> 00:18:03.629 Mmm. 442 00:18:03.631 --> 00:18:04.700 Cut your twist. 443 00:18:07.367 --> 00:18:10.570 Squeeze it, outside out. Get a nice little mist. 444 00:18:10.572 --> 00:18:12.572 Lick the edges. Voila. 445 00:18:12.574 --> 00:18:14.372 And don't add fucking ice. Ever. 446 00:18:14.374 --> 00:18:16.242 We don't like ice anymore? 447 00:18:16.244 --> 00:18:17.642 That shit ruins everything. 448 00:18:17.644 --> 00:18:19.344 Tough day at work? 449 00:18:19.346 --> 00:18:21.179 I just need to hit the reset button sometimes. 450 00:18:21.181 --> 00:18:22.849 Oh, cheers! 451 00:18:22.851 --> 00:18:24.420 Cheers. 452 00:18:33.694 --> 00:18:35.229 Can you make me one of those? 453 00:18:36.898 --> 00:18:38.598 STEPHANIE: Do I look reset? 454 00:18:38.600 --> 00:18:40.169 Because I feel reset. 455 00:18:41.469 --> 00:18:43.468 - (EMILY CHUCKLES) - You smell good. 456 00:18:43.470 --> 00:18:45.470 What is that perfume? You smell so good. 457 00:18:45.472 --> 00:18:47.273 - I wish I smelled like you. - Thank you. 458 00:18:47.275 --> 00:18:49.574 It's one of Dennis'. I could get you one. 459 00:18:49.576 --> 00:18:50.810 I could get you a bathtub full 460 00:18:50.812 --> 00:18:51.878 if you'd like. 461 00:18:51.880 --> 00:18:56.716 (STAMMERS) I would love it, girlfriend. 462 00:18:56.718 --> 00:18:57.883 Thank you. (SNIFFS) 463 00:18:57.885 --> 00:19:01.621 I'm really unhappy with myself for taking that picture... 464 00:19:01.623 --> 00:19:03.156 Oh, my God, are you still talking about that? 465 00:19:03.158 --> 00:19:04.422 ...without asking, it's so rude. 466 00:19:04.424 --> 00:19:06.292 - Please, stop. Forget it. - Just, like, "Paparazzo." 467 00:19:06.294 --> 00:19:07.326 You are so nice. 468 00:19:07.328 --> 00:19:08.828 I have no idea how you've survived this long. 469 00:19:08.830 --> 00:19:11.197 I'm not as nice as you think so. 470 00:19:11.199 --> 00:19:12.532 Are you baiting me? 471 00:19:12.534 --> 00:19:14.603 No. I'm just saying. 472 00:19:16.603 --> 00:19:19.272 - Everybody has a dark side. - Mmm-hmm. 473 00:19:19.274 --> 00:19:21.506 Some of us are better at hiding it than others. 474 00:19:21.508 --> 00:19:23.275 Wanna trade confessions? 475 00:19:23.277 --> 00:19:24.877 - No, no. No. - (CHUCKLES) Come on. 476 00:19:24.879 --> 00:19:27.446 What's the wildest thing you've ever done? 477 00:19:27.448 --> 00:19:29.317 Oh, no, I don't know, I shouldn't. 478 00:19:29.816 --> 00:19:31.217 You go first. 479 00:19:31.219 --> 00:19:32.488 Okay, um... 480 00:19:33.888 --> 00:19:36.421 Few months ago, Sean and I had his TA over 481 00:19:36.423 --> 00:19:39.228 for dinner, and drinks, and a threesome. 482 00:19:41.429 --> 00:19:43.329 Was Sean jealous of him? 483 00:19:43.331 --> 00:19:44.533 Did I say it was a him? 484 00:19:47.535 --> 00:19:50.769 That's very cool, sis. Very cool. 485 00:19:50.771 --> 00:19:52.237 - You okay? - Yeah! 486 00:19:52.239 --> 00:19:53.605 I don't mean to freak you out. 487 00:19:53.607 --> 00:19:56.342 Hello! I'm not freaked out, maybe you're freaked out. 488 00:19:56.344 --> 00:19:57.509 - Okay. - Because I'm not freaked out. 489 00:19:57.511 --> 00:19:59.579 I'm cool. I'm laissez-faire. 490 00:19:59.581 --> 00:20:01.680 Okay, laissez-faire. (LAUGHS) 491 00:20:01.682 --> 00:20:02.814 I mean, you're not exactly a sexual maverick. 492 00:20:02.816 --> 00:20:03.949 And that's fine. 493 00:20:03.951 --> 00:20:05.621 You know, prudes are people, too. 494 00:20:07.521 --> 00:20:08.923 I wanna know your secret. Tell me. 495 00:20:11.426 --> 00:20:13.362 My dad died when I was a senior in high school. 496 00:20:14.562 --> 00:20:16.562 <i>And</i> 497 00:20:16.564 --> 00:20:17.932 <i>this boy showed up to the funeral.</i> 498 00:20:20.301 --> 00:20:22.467 <i>His name was Chris.</i> 499 00:20:22.469 --> 00:20:25.237 <i>And I guess he was the spitting image</i> 500 00:20:25.239 --> 00:20:26.874 <i>of my father, 30 years younger.</i> 501 00:20:29.410 --> 00:20:33.715 <i>My mom thought she saw a ghost.</i> 502 00:20:34.548 --> 00:20:35.883 (STEPHANIE SNIFFS) 503 00:20:38.620 --> 00:20:40.455 <i>And it turned out he was my half-brother.</i> 504 00:20:42.757 --> 00:20:45.791 That's your whole secret? That your dad had an affair? 505 00:20:45.793 --> 00:20:47.459 No! 506 00:20:47.461 --> 00:20:49.527 Okay, can you just tell me your secret? 507 00:20:49.529 --> 00:20:51.666 Come on, spill it, dark side. 508 00:20:52.366 --> 00:20:54.766 So, Chris... 509 00:20:54.768 --> 00:20:57.669 <i>It was too late for him to drive home, so he stayed over.</i> 510 00:20:57.671 --> 00:20:59.240 <i>We stayed up all night, talking,</i> 511 00:20:59.641 --> 00:21:00.776 <i>and</i> 512 00:21:01.776 --> 00:21:03.376 <i>my dad was...</i> 513 00:21:03.378 --> 00:21:05.777 My dad was really the person who understood me. 514 00:21:05.779 --> 00:21:07.548 And he was gone, so... 515 00:21:08.615 --> 00:21:12.717 I was alone, alone for the first time. 516 00:21:12.719 --> 00:21:16.389 <i>But he sees me, you know?</i> 517 00:21:16.391 --> 00:21:17.726 <i>Like, he really sees me.</i> 518 00:21:19.661 --> 00:21:21.781 And we just stared at each other for the longest time. 519 00:21:23.363 --> 00:21:24.530 You can't be too drunk in my house 520 00:21:24.532 --> 00:21:25.730 not to finish the story. What happened? 521 00:21:25.732 --> 00:21:27.432 Uh, yeah. Uh... (SIGHS) 522 00:21:27.434 --> 00:21:29.502 Okay, so, I don't know, 523 00:21:29.504 --> 00:21:31.771 maybe it's not so racy where you're from, but... 524 00:21:31.773 --> 00:21:33.872 Stop avoiding. Tell me what happened. 525 00:21:33.874 --> 00:21:35.006 STEPHANIE: <i>We stood there</i> 526 00:21:35.008 --> 00:21:36.441 <i>- for the longest time.</i> - EMILY: <i>Uh-huh.</i> 527 00:21:36.443 --> 00:21:38.444 STEPHANIE: <i>So I went in to hug him,</i> 528 00:21:38.446 --> 00:21:39.781 <i>and we kissed.</i> 529 00:21:40.581 --> 00:21:42.017 <i>I know, it's so gross.</i> 530 00:21:42.784 --> 00:21:43.983 - The end? - Yeah. 531 00:21:43.985 --> 00:21:45.450 - You just kissed? - Yeah, we kissed. 532 00:21:45.452 --> 00:21:47.687 You just kissed your brother? 533 00:21:47.689 --> 00:21:49.988 - STEPHANIE: <i>Yeah. It's so...</i> - EMILY: <i>What?</i> 534 00:21:49.990 --> 00:21:51.390 STEPHANIE: <i>Ugh. It's so lurid.</i> 535 00:21:51.392 --> 00:21:53.391 <i>It's my half-brother. It's not my brother.</i> 536 00:21:53.393 --> 00:21:54.592 EMILY: <i>He's your half-brother, though?</i> 537 00:21:54.594 --> 00:21:55.828 <i>- Okay.</i> - STEPHANIE: <i>He's my...</i> 538 00:21:55.830 --> 00:21:56.862 EMILY: <i>Yeah, there's more.</i> 539 00:21:56.864 --> 00:21:58.363 <i>- Mmm-hmm. - No. No, there's not more.</i> 540 00:21:58.365 --> 00:21:59.931 No, no. Yeah, there is. 541 00:21:59.933 --> 00:22:02.001 - So... - You fucked him. 542 00:22:02.003 --> 00:22:03.401 What? 543 00:22:03.403 --> 00:22:04.769 EMILY: <i>Was he good?</i> 544 00:22:04.771 --> 00:22:06.971 STEPHANIE: <i>That is so disgusting.</i> 545 00:22:06.973 --> 00:22:08.974 <i>I don't know...</i> 546 00:22:08.976 --> 00:22:11.076 EMILY: <i>You didn't fuck him? Tell me you didn't fuck him.</i> 547 00:22:11.078 --> 00:22:12.611 STEPHANIE: <i>I don't know what's going on in your...</i> 548 00:22:12.613 --> 00:22:13.713 - EMILY: <i>Swear.</i> - STEPHANIE: <i>I swear.</i> 549 00:22:13.715 --> 00:22:15.517 Swear on your dad's grave. 550 00:22:17.451 --> 00:22:18.686 (STAMMERING) 551 00:22:32.600 --> 00:22:34.636 Oh, my God. 552 00:22:37.505 --> 00:22:38.438 Don't. 553 00:22:38.440 --> 00:22:41.540 - You brotherfucker! (LAUGHS) - No. Don't. 554 00:22:41.542 --> 00:22:42.975 This is good. 555 00:22:42.977 --> 00:22:45.511 Oh, my God! 556 00:22:45.513 --> 00:22:47.380 I've got a brotherfucker taking care of my kid. 557 00:22:47.382 --> 00:22:48.647 I shouldn't have even said anything. 558 00:22:48.649 --> 00:22:50.682 Brotherfucker. 559 00:22:50.684 --> 00:22:53.518 You know what? I don't know. It's these stupid martinis. 560 00:22:53.520 --> 00:22:55.053 Hey, brotherfucker, do you wanna stay for dinner? 561 00:22:55.055 --> 00:22:56.389 I shouldn't have even said anything. 562 00:22:56.391 --> 00:22:58.457 Yeah, I do wanna stay for dinner. 563 00:22:58.459 --> 00:22:59.557 That would be lovely. 564 00:22:59.559 --> 00:23:00.825 I can't wait to see what you cook. 565 00:23:00.827 --> 00:23:02.495 You know what? 566 00:23:02.497 --> 00:23:04.996 I'm gonna cook you the best meal of your life, 567 00:23:04.998 --> 00:23:06.564 and you're gonna feel really bad 568 00:23:06.566 --> 00:23:08.033 about being so mean right now. 569 00:23:08.035 --> 00:23:09.601 - Brotherfucker! - Ow! 570 00:23:09.603 --> 00:23:11.070 I like you! 571 00:23:11.072 --> 00:23:13.005 Hi, moms, Stephanie here. 572 00:23:13.007 --> 00:23:14.873 Today we'll be talking about the perfect first aid kit... 573 00:23:14.875 --> 00:23:17.176 so you're never left in need during a crisis. 574 00:23:17.178 --> 00:23:18.947 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 575 00:23:20.981 --> 00:23:22.081 Hi! 576 00:23:22.083 --> 00:23:23.149 EMILY: <i>Stephanie. Thank God you picked up.</i> 577 00:23:23.151 --> 00:23:25.050 <i>Hey, I just have a little emergency.</i> 578 00:23:25.052 --> 00:23:27.052 Oh, really? That's a coincidence. I was just... 579 00:23:27.054 --> 00:23:28.754 <i>I need your help.</i> 580 00:23:28.756 --> 00:23:29.955 Are you okay? 581 00:23:29.957 --> 00:23:32.957 <i>I'm fine, but I do need just a simple favor.</i> 582 00:23:32.959 --> 00:23:34.426 <i>Can you grab Nicky from school?</i> 583 00:23:34.428 --> 00:23:36.629 <i>Sean's in London, his mother broke her fucking hip,</i> 584 00:23:36.631 --> 00:23:38.063 <i>and I got a big fire to put out at work.</i> 585 00:23:38.065 --> 00:23:39.532 Oh, yeah. Oh, my God! 586 00:23:39.534 --> 00:23:41.503 Poor Sean, poor you. Um... 587 00:23:42.536 --> 00:23:44.035 Anything I can do to help. Yeah. 588 00:23:44.037 --> 00:23:45.603 <i>You're the best. Hey, I gotta run,</i> 589 00:23:45.605 --> 00:23:47.439 <i>but I'll get you back for this, okay?</i> 590 00:23:47.441 --> 00:23:49.507 Of course, Nicky's in good hands. 591 00:23:49.509 --> 00:23:51.944 <i>Hey, Stephanie, you're a good person.</i> 592 00:23:51.946 --> 00:23:53.079 <i>True friend. I mean that.</i> 593 00:23:53.081 --> 00:23:56.118 Don't worry about it. I will talk to you later. Bye. 594 00:23:59.586 --> 00:24:01.586 - (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) - (CHILDREN LAUGHING) 595 00:24:01.588 --> 00:24:03.221 (GASPS) Freeze! Do you know what I see? 596 00:24:03.223 --> 00:24:05.024 I see two boys getting a play date! 597 00:24:05.026 --> 00:24:07.759 BOTH: Yeah! 598 00:24:07.761 --> 00:24:09.961 Stephanie, that's so great you took the nanny job. 599 00:24:09.963 --> 00:24:11.563 - Nanny job? - Yeah, for Emily. 600 00:24:11.565 --> 00:24:12.834 I know she was looking for one. 601 00:24:15.469 --> 00:24:17.236 Well, that... (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) 602 00:24:17.238 --> 00:24:20.139 We're just friends. I'm helping her as a friend. 603 00:24:20.141 --> 00:24:22.640 Oh, God, I'm so sorry. 604 00:24:22.642 --> 00:24:24.642 I didn't realize you guys were so close. 605 00:24:24.644 --> 00:24:26.678 Well, we are! (LAUGHS) 606 00:24:26.680 --> 00:24:29.782 We drink martinis together. Strong ones from London. 607 00:24:29.784 --> 00:24:31.115 Okay, boys, if you don't wrestle in the car, 608 00:24:31.117 --> 00:24:32.517 I'm gonna make you fruit pops! 609 00:24:32.519 --> 00:24:35.022 - Let's go, let's go! - BOTH: Yay! 610 00:24:36.923 --> 00:24:39.691 She doesn't know she's working for free. 611 00:24:39.693 --> 00:24:42.163 - (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) - (ALL SINGING ALONG) 612 00:24:44.899 --> 00:24:46.265 ALL: Whoo! 613 00:24:46.267 --> 00:24:48.469 - (TV PLAYING) - (CHILDREN LAUGHING) 614 00:24:57.745 --> 00:24:59.111 <i>This is Emily Nelson,</i> 615 00:24:59.113 --> 00:25:01.546 <i>Director of Public Relations for Dennis Nylon Holdings.</i> 616 00:25:01.548 --> 00:25:03.015 <i>Leave a message or go fuck yourself.</i> 617 00:25:03.017 --> 00:25:06.651 Hey, uh, Em, it's Stephanie. Um... 618 00:25:06.653 --> 00:25:09.121 I know you're probably knee-deep in that crisis. 619 00:25:09.123 --> 00:25:11.055 But Nicky's asking when you're coming to get him, 620 00:25:11.057 --> 00:25:13.191 and I don't know what to say, so... 621 00:25:13.193 --> 00:25:14.692 Just let me know. 622 00:25:14.694 --> 00:25:17.830 And I hope you're hanging in there. Give 'em heck. 623 00:25:17.832 --> 00:25:20.599 Stephanie Smothers. I'm a close friend of hers, 624 00:25:20.601 --> 00:25:21.867 I'm watching her son. 625 00:25:21.869 --> 00:25:23.802 Can you just tell me where she is 626 00:25:23.804 --> 00:25:25.137 and when she might be back? 627 00:25:25.139 --> 00:25:28.040 Yeah, she's in Miami for a few days. 628 00:25:28.042 --> 00:25:29.707 Did you wanna leave a message? 629 00:25:29.709 --> 00:25:31.610 I'm sorry, did you say a few days? 630 00:25:31.612 --> 00:25:33.044 Yeah, can you hold for a second, please? 631 00:25:33.046 --> 00:25:35.113 <i>She didn't say that it was gonna be a few...</i> 632 00:25:35.115 --> 00:25:36.849 - (CELL PHONE BEEPS) - Oh, for the love of Joe. 633 00:25:36.851 --> 00:25:37.917 Oh! 634 00:25:37.919 --> 00:25:40.553 - (LINE RINGING) - SEAN: <i>Yes?</i> 635 00:25:40.555 --> 00:25:43.188 Sean, hi! Um, it's Stephanie. I'm so sorry to bother you. 636 00:25:43.190 --> 00:25:44.657 I got your number from the school directory. 637 00:25:44.659 --> 00:25:45.858 Has something happened to Nicky? 638 00:25:45.860 --> 00:25:48.593 (STAMMERS) No! Uh, Nicky's fine. 639 00:25:48.595 --> 00:25:50.696 Yeah, sorry, he's fine. He's here with me. 640 00:25:50.698 --> 00:25:53.869 Um, Emily, though, asked me to watch him, 641 00:25:55.670 --> 00:25:58.203 and that was two days ago, and I haven't heard from her. 642 00:25:58.205 --> 00:25:59.572 <i>Have you guys been in touch?</i> 643 00:25:59.574 --> 00:26:00.872 Christ, two days? 644 00:26:00.874 --> 00:26:01.908 <i>What'd she tell you?</i> 645 00:26:01.910 --> 00:26:04.208 Um, she said she had to put out a big fire. 646 00:26:04.210 --> 00:26:05.076 And I called her office, 647 00:26:05.078 --> 00:26:06.711 and then they said she was in Miami? 648 00:26:06.713 --> 00:26:08.280 <i>Yeah, that sounds about right.</i> 649 00:26:08.282 --> 00:26:09.782 I mean, I've played through 650 00:26:09.784 --> 00:26:11.249 some of these emergencies before, 651 00:26:11.251 --> 00:26:13.651 <i>and once she knows that Nicky's being taken care of,</i> 652 00:26:13.653 --> 00:26:15.853 she disappears for quite some time. 653 00:26:15.855 --> 00:26:18.090 Oh, fun! Um... 654 00:26:18.092 --> 00:26:19.158 I'm flying back tomorrow. 655 00:26:19.160 --> 00:26:21.593 I'll pick up Nicky as soon as I'm on the ground. 656 00:26:21.595 --> 00:26:22.660 <i>All righty?</i> 657 00:26:22.662 --> 00:26:23.998 All righty. 658 00:26:28.835 --> 00:26:30.069 SEAN: Ah. 659 00:26:30.071 --> 00:26:32.004 Miss Canterbury Tales. 660 00:26:32.006 --> 00:26:33.839 Um, her assistant, Valerie, said that 661 00:26:33.841 --> 00:26:35.107 she couldn't get in touch with her, either. 662 00:26:35.109 --> 00:26:38.977 Which is weird, because it's a work thing, an emergency. 663 00:26:38.979 --> 00:26:41.313 Some of the moms think we should go to the police. 664 00:26:41.315 --> 00:26:42.380 Jesus. 665 00:26:42.382 --> 00:26:44.216 Has it really come to this? 666 00:26:44.218 --> 00:26:45.950 Do you want tea? 667 00:26:45.952 --> 00:26:48.219 You know what? Let's do it. 668 00:26:48.221 --> 00:26:50.922 Not the tea. The police. 669 00:26:50.924 --> 00:26:52.690 - STEPHANIE: Sean? - SEAN: Yeah. 670 00:26:52.692 --> 00:26:54.092 The police are here. 671 00:26:54.094 --> 00:26:55.130 Okay. 672 00:27:01.835 --> 00:27:03.736 OFFICER BLANCO: And when was the last time 673 00:27:03.738 --> 00:27:05.903 either of you heard from her? 674 00:27:05.905 --> 00:27:07.872 STEPHANIE: Three days ago. 675 00:27:07.874 --> 00:27:10.074 I was in London. My mother broke her hip. 676 00:27:10.076 --> 00:27:12.210 - Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. - Thank you. 677 00:27:12.212 --> 00:27:13.812 Well, she said it was a work crisis? 678 00:27:13.814 --> 00:27:15.948 Yeah. She has a very high-profile job 679 00:27:15.950 --> 00:27:18.350 and a full staff that she oversees. 680 00:27:18.352 --> 00:27:19.951 Most times when a woman vanishes, 681 00:27:19.953 --> 00:27:21.352 she has a reason. 682 00:27:21.354 --> 00:27:23.054 What are you implying, exactly? 683 00:27:23.056 --> 00:27:24.957 You two didn't have a fight? 684 00:27:24.959 --> 00:27:26.391 Something to make you run off to London? 685 00:27:26.393 --> 00:27:28.026 Are you saying that I broke my mother's hip? 686 00:27:28.028 --> 00:27:30.030 You leave town, your wife takes off. 687 00:27:30.730 --> 00:27:32.864 Maybe there's, um, 688 00:27:32.866 --> 00:27:35.367 a close friend she might be spending some time with. 689 00:27:35.369 --> 00:27:37.302 Excuse me, that's very rude. 690 00:27:37.304 --> 00:27:39.338 He is a dedicated husband and father. 691 00:27:39.340 --> 00:27:41.206 I have seen him with his wife, let me tell you, 692 00:27:41.208 --> 00:27:43.441 they've got more chemistry than a science fair. 693 00:27:43.443 --> 00:27:44.576 Just exploring all avenues, ma'am. 694 00:27:44.578 --> 00:27:47.181 Well, that avenue is a dead end, so you can drop it. 695 00:27:48.082 --> 00:27:50.248 And where's Emily's family? 696 00:27:50.250 --> 00:27:51.883 She doesn't have any. 697 00:27:51.885 --> 00:27:52.985 She was an only child, 698 00:27:52.987 --> 00:27:55.824 and her mother and father died when she was a teenager. 699 00:27:56.856 --> 00:27:58.424 I'm sorry, I didn't know that. 700 00:27:58.426 --> 00:27:59.957 OFFICER: We'll file a missing person's report 701 00:27:59.959 --> 00:28:02.727 and contact you in the next couple of days. 702 00:28:02.729 --> 00:28:04.129 If she doesn't turn up, 703 00:28:04.131 --> 00:28:06.431 we'll contact the local authorities in Miami. 704 00:28:06.433 --> 00:28:08.867 Not planning any more trips, are you, Mr. Townsend? 705 00:28:08.869 --> 00:28:09.935 SEAN: No. 706 00:28:09.937 --> 00:28:11.969 I'm gonna be right here. 707 00:28:11.971 --> 00:28:14.308 I'm gonna be at my house with my son. 708 00:28:15.109 --> 00:28:16.945 We can show ourselves out. 709 00:28:18.946 --> 00:28:21.746 SEAN: <i>God knows we've had our troubles in the past,</i> 710 00:28:21.748 --> 00:28:24.717 but I don't think she'd just up and leave her child. 711 00:28:24.719 --> 00:28:27.953 No, God, she adores Nicky. She wouldn't do that. 712 00:28:27.955 --> 00:28:29.921 She is an enigma, my wife. 713 00:28:29.923 --> 00:28:31.390 That's what drew me to her. 714 00:28:31.392 --> 00:28:32.957 It can also make her impossible. 715 00:28:32.959 --> 00:28:34.892 She can be so fiercely private. 716 00:28:34.894 --> 00:28:35.861 She sure doesn't like 717 00:28:35.863 --> 00:28:36.995 having her picture taken, I'll tell you that. 718 00:28:36.997 --> 00:28:39.230 I remember this one time, she shut down my Facebook 719 00:28:39.232 --> 00:28:41.399 because I posted up a family picture. 720 00:28:41.401 --> 00:28:43.401 Ugh. Social media is so tricky. 721 00:28:43.403 --> 00:28:44.736 I can get to close to her, 722 00:28:44.738 --> 00:28:46.371 I can never quite reach her. 723 00:28:46.373 --> 00:28:49.108 She's like a beautiful ghost. 724 00:28:49.110 --> 00:28:50.942 Never entirely there. 725 00:28:50.944 --> 00:28:52.377 That's so poetic. 726 00:28:52.379 --> 00:28:54.412 That's why you're such a good writer. 727 00:28:54.414 --> 00:28:57.015 I'm not a writer anymore, Stephanie. 728 00:28:57.017 --> 00:28:58.917 I gave all that up just to chase this woman 729 00:28:58.919 --> 00:28:59.921 for the rest of my life. 730 00:29:00.755 --> 00:29:02.121 (SEAN SCOFFS) 731 00:29:02.123 --> 00:29:04.188 I should order a taxi and go home. 732 00:29:04.190 --> 00:29:05.858 Yeah. 733 00:29:05.860 --> 00:29:09.330 Oh, gosh, it's 1:25, they stop driving at 1:00 here. 734 00:29:11.498 --> 00:29:13.332 That couch pulls out, um, 735 00:29:13.334 --> 00:29:15.100 if you wanna stay over. 736 00:29:15.102 --> 00:29:16.935 I know Nicky would love it 737 00:29:16.937 --> 00:29:19.004 if you were here in the morning. 738 00:29:19.006 --> 00:29:20.175 That would be lovely. 739 00:29:21.408 --> 00:29:23.311 (BLENDER WHIRRING) 740 00:29:37.257 --> 00:29:39.091 SEAN: Who wants more B vitamins? 741 00:29:39.093 --> 00:29:40.258 - MILES: Yeah! - NICKY: I do! 742 00:29:40.260 --> 00:29:42.060 SEAN: Yeah? Are they nice? 743 00:29:42.062 --> 00:29:44.095 - Yeah. - Yeah? Delicious? 744 00:29:44.097 --> 00:29:46.532 - Hi. - SEAN: Hey. 745 00:29:46.534 --> 00:29:47.966 Uh, what on Earth are you making? 746 00:29:47.968 --> 00:29:50.235 These are hangover smoothies. 747 00:29:50.237 --> 00:29:52.004 They get it right out of you. 748 00:29:52.006 --> 00:29:54.238 And the kids love them. 749 00:29:54.240 --> 00:29:55.841 Little tip, they have a full portion 750 00:29:55.843 --> 00:29:56.975 of vegetables in them, 751 00:29:56.977 --> 00:29:57.976 and they don't even know it. 752 00:29:57.978 --> 00:30:00.012 It's so hard to get kids to eat their vegetables. 753 00:30:00.014 --> 00:30:01.015 SEAN: Right? 754 00:30:02.149 --> 00:30:03.849 Mmm. 755 00:30:03.851 --> 00:30:05.120 Wanna try some? 756 00:30:05.486 --> 00:30:06.821 Great. 757 00:30:12.860 --> 00:30:14.094 Good? 758 00:30:15.461 --> 00:30:16.460 (CHUCKLES) 759 00:30:16.462 --> 00:30:20.098 I think we should get ready for school. (GROANS) 760 00:30:20.100 --> 00:30:21.770 Oh, school, school. 761 00:30:22.503 --> 00:30:23.968 <i>Hi, moms, Stephanie here.</i> 762 00:30:23.970 --> 00:30:25.437 <i>Today I'm making a new recipe</i> 763 00:30:25.439 --> 00:30:27.605 <i>I learned for a hangover smoothie.</i> 764 00:30:27.607 --> 00:30:28.607 <i>Uh, it's really nice.</i> 765 00:30:28.609 --> 00:30:30.575 <i>I especially want to thank everybody</i> 766 00:30:30.577 --> 00:30:33.147 <i>who's written in to ask about Emily.</i> 767 00:30:34.180 --> 00:30:35.816 <i>It's been four days now.</i> 768 00:30:36.517 --> 00:30:37.749 <i>So...</i> 769 00:30:37.751 --> 00:30:40.886 <i>The good news is that Sean is home from London,</i> 770 00:30:40.888 --> 00:30:43.124 <i>and he's working very closely with the police.</i> 771 00:30:43.623 --> 00:30:47.024 <i>Um, actually, moms,</i> 772 00:30:47.026 --> 00:30:49.894 <i>I know a lot of you are hung up on the idea</i> 773 00:30:49.896 --> 00:30:51.964 <i>that the husband is always the primary suspect.</i> 774 00:30:51.966 --> 00:30:53.834 <i>I know, I've seen</i> Law & Order. 775 00:30:54.235 --> 00:30:55.499 <i>But, um...</i> 776 00:30:55.501 --> 00:30:58.035 <i>First, I'm here to tell you</i> 777 00:30:58.037 --> 00:31:00.938 <i>Sean was in London when Emily disappeared.</i> 778 00:31:00.940 --> 00:31:02.940 <i>And some of you have suggested</i> 779 00:31:02.942 --> 00:31:05.576 <i>that he did that to set up an alibi,</i> 780 00:31:05.578 --> 00:31:10.215 <i>but he's an amazing husband and an amazing father, so...</i> 781 00:31:10.217 --> 00:31:11.816 <i>The police haven't been much help.</i> 782 00:31:11.818 --> 00:31:14.018 <i>But every mom knows that if you want something done right,</i> 783 00:31:14.020 --> 00:31:16.153 <i>you have to do it yourself.</i> 784 00:31:16.155 --> 00:31:17.922 <i>I will leave no stone unturned.</i> 785 00:31:17.924 --> 00:31:19.624 <i>I think that's what Emily would want.</i> 786 00:31:19.626 --> 00:31:21.186 RECEPTIONIST: Dennis Nylon, please hold. 787 00:31:22.328 --> 00:31:24.097 Dennis Nylon, please hold. 788 00:31:25.231 --> 00:31:26.297 Thanks for holding. 789 00:31:26.299 --> 00:31:28.132 How may I direct your call? 790 00:31:28.134 --> 00:31:29.234 Hi, my name is Stephanie... 791 00:31:29.236 --> 00:31:30.902 Dennis Nylon, please hold. 792 00:31:30.904 --> 00:31:32.603 My friend works here. She's been missing... 793 00:31:32.605 --> 00:31:34.573 Thanks for holding. How may I direct your call? 794 00:31:34.575 --> 00:31:36.507 I tried to call her assistant. 795 00:31:36.509 --> 00:31:38.677 - Dennis Nylon, please hold. - Valerie. 796 00:31:38.679 --> 00:31:39.745 She wasn't super helpful. 797 00:31:39.747 --> 00:31:41.313 Thanks for holding. How may I direct your call? 798 00:31:41.315 --> 00:31:42.514 I can't tell if you're talking to me. 799 00:31:42.516 --> 00:31:43.918 You're looking right at me. 800 00:31:44.949 --> 00:31:46.017 - Dennis Nylon, please hold. - Okay. 801 00:31:46.019 --> 00:31:48.019 Thanks for holding. How may I direct your call? 802 00:31:48.021 --> 00:31:49.353 Her name is Emily Nelson. 803 00:31:49.355 --> 00:31:51.089 She's the head of the PR department. 804 00:31:51.091 --> 00:31:52.424 Emily's not in today. 805 00:31:52.426 --> 00:31:54.092 I know she's not in. 806 00:31:54.094 --> 00:31:56.361 - Dennis Nylon, please hold. - Okay. 807 00:31:56.363 --> 00:31:58.229 Just gonna... 808 00:31:58.231 --> 00:32:00.698 Sorry. No, I am not sorry. 809 00:32:00.700 --> 00:32:04.402 I need to speak to Dennis Nylon, please? 810 00:32:04.404 --> 00:32:06.071 A woman's missing, so... 811 00:32:06.073 --> 00:32:08.172 Mr. Nylon's not here right now. 812 00:32:08.174 --> 00:32:09.307 Great, I'll wait. 813 00:32:09.309 --> 00:32:10.477 Knock yourself out. 814 00:32:11.378 --> 00:32:12.513 Okay. 815 00:32:28.629 --> 00:32:31.463 RECEPTIONIST: Dennis Nylon, please hold. 816 00:32:31.465 --> 00:32:32.730 Um, Mr. Nylon? 817 00:32:32.732 --> 00:32:34.599 We don't accept unsolicited resumes. 818 00:32:34.601 --> 00:32:36.133 Cool, that's not why I'm here. 819 00:32:36.135 --> 00:32:37.235 Um, we have a problem. 820 00:32:37.237 --> 00:32:39.036 We most certainly do. 821 00:32:39.038 --> 00:32:40.371 A friend of mine works in your publicity department... 822 00:32:40.373 --> 00:32:41.942 Is that a vintage Hermes scarf? 823 00:32:42.642 --> 00:32:44.109 My Aunt Frieda gave it to me. 824 00:32:44.111 --> 00:32:45.576 Did she want you to hang yourself with it? 825 00:32:45.578 --> 00:32:47.178 Look at that knot, Jesus fucking Christ! 826 00:32:47.180 --> 00:32:49.081 I'm here about Emily Nelson. 827 00:32:49.083 --> 00:32:50.748 What about Emily? What happened? 828 00:32:50.750 --> 00:32:53.084 She asked me to pick up her son four days ago 829 00:32:53.086 --> 00:32:54.419 because she went to Miami. 830 00:32:54.421 --> 00:32:56.254 She's still not back. No texts, no calls, 831 00:32:56.256 --> 00:32:57.522 and no one in your office seems to give a crap. 832 00:32:57.524 --> 00:32:58.526 Excuse my language. 833 00:32:59.994 --> 00:33:01.626 - Kiko. - Hmm? 834 00:33:01.628 --> 00:33:03.328 Why did Emily go to Miami? 835 00:33:03.330 --> 00:33:04.699 I didn't know she did. 836 00:33:06.632 --> 00:33:08.632 We in this office have learned that 837 00:33:08.634 --> 00:33:10.334 when Emily elects not to tell us something, 838 00:33:10.336 --> 00:33:11.736 it's best not to ask. 839 00:33:11.738 --> 00:33:13.205 Doesn't she work for you? 840 00:33:13.207 --> 00:33:15.506 Emily's job is to stop the apocalypse 841 00:33:15.508 --> 00:33:17.376 without worrying any of the designers. 842 00:33:17.378 --> 00:33:18.709 And she always finds a way 843 00:33:18.711 --> 00:33:20.245 to look fabulous when she does it. 844 00:33:20.247 --> 00:33:21.545 That's great! 845 00:33:21.547 --> 00:33:23.782 What do you suggest that I do? 846 00:33:23.784 --> 00:33:26.217 Never wear a vintage Hermes scarf with a Gap T-shirt. 847 00:33:26.219 --> 00:33:28.387 If you were truly Emily's friend, you would know that. 848 00:33:28.389 --> 00:33:30.458 Excuse me, I have a very busy day. 849 00:33:32.593 --> 00:33:34.092 Valerie, my office. 850 00:33:34.094 --> 00:33:35.095 Now! 851 00:33:50.244 --> 00:33:52.209 Hi. 852 00:33:52.211 --> 00:33:54.248 DENNIS: Sit, sit, sit! Emily! I want answers. 853 00:33:55.282 --> 00:33:57.618 MAN: Steven, you forgot the shirts. 854 00:34:08.328 --> 00:34:10.694 WOMAN: No, I can't help you with that. 855 00:34:10.696 --> 00:34:12.129 Of course he's freaking out. 856 00:34:12.131 --> 00:34:14.533 He needs someone to manage this now. 857 00:34:14.535 --> 00:34:15.703 I don't know. 858 00:34:27.181 --> 00:34:28.383 Mother fudger. 859 00:34:46.667 --> 00:34:48.736 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 860 00:34:59.812 --> 00:35:01.245 Well, if it isn't Aunt Frieda's 861 00:35:01.247 --> 00:35:02.379 least favorite niece. 862 00:35:02.381 --> 00:35:03.714 What were you doing up there? 863 00:35:03.716 --> 00:35:05.183 Corporate spying? 864 00:35:05.185 --> 00:35:06.621 Or just a common garden shoplifter? 865 00:35:07.855 --> 00:35:09.721 Yeah, you gotta go right at them. 866 00:35:09.723 --> 00:35:11.156 Especially the powerful ones. 867 00:35:11.158 --> 00:35:12.759 Or they will fuck you in the face. 868 00:35:13.861 --> 00:35:15.393 Listen, you bargain basement Tom Ford, 869 00:35:15.395 --> 00:35:16.627 if you don't have this Ken doll 870 00:35:16.629 --> 00:35:17.696 unhand me this second, 871 00:35:17.698 --> 00:35:19.663 I will tell the thousands of moms that watch my vlog 872 00:35:19.665 --> 00:35:21.900 that Dennis Nylon is a bully who victimizes women. 873 00:35:21.902 --> 00:35:23.634 And that they should stop buying your tacky blouses 874 00:35:23.636 --> 00:35:24.870 made by Indonesian children. 875 00:35:24.872 --> 00:35:27.308 Because if you lose moms, you lose business. 876 00:35:30.310 --> 00:35:31.442 Okay, number one, 877 00:35:31.444 --> 00:35:32.777 they are not Indonesian children, 878 00:35:32.779 --> 00:35:34.478 they are Vietnamese teenagers. 879 00:35:34.480 --> 00:35:37.582 Number two, Tom Ford wishes he were me. 880 00:35:37.584 --> 00:35:40.654 And number three, if I'm tacky, 881 00:35:41.587 --> 00:35:42.656 okay? 882 00:35:43.256 --> 00:35:44.489 You're... 883 00:35:44.491 --> 00:35:45.660 This has been fun. 884 00:35:46.727 --> 00:35:48.763 Better pray I don't have a bruise. 885 00:35:50.696 --> 00:35:52.866 - (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) - (DOOR CLOSES) 886 00:35:59.573 --> 00:36:01.613 No wonder she doesn't like having her picture taken. 887 00:36:07.814 --> 00:36:09.580 DARREN: <i>Look at our little Stephanie.</i> 888 00:36:09.582 --> 00:36:11.683 Comforting the worried husband. 889 00:36:11.685 --> 00:36:12.750 Oh, please. 890 00:36:12.752 --> 00:36:15.286 It's an arts and crafts project. 891 00:36:15.288 --> 00:36:17.955 I've never seen her pass up a chance to use a stapler. 892 00:36:17.957 --> 00:36:19.958 Emily's gonna hate those flyers 893 00:36:19.960 --> 00:36:21.692 when she gets back. 894 00:36:21.694 --> 00:36:24.164 She's not coming back. (SIGHS) 895 00:36:25.265 --> 00:36:26.665 Don't you watch <i>Dateline?</i> 896 00:36:26.667 --> 00:36:29.136 If the case isn't solved in the first 72 hours, 897 00:36:29.902 --> 00:36:31.805 they're always dead. 898 00:36:32.406 --> 00:36:33.538 Oh, yeah. 899 00:36:33.540 --> 00:36:35.306 (ROMANTIC FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) 900 00:36:35.308 --> 00:36:36.473 Oh, perfect timing! 901 00:36:36.475 --> 00:36:37.542 Dinner's ready. 902 00:36:37.544 --> 00:36:38.643 The boys are upstairs. 903 00:36:38.645 --> 00:36:40.444 I'm just gonna have them wash their hands 904 00:36:40.446 --> 00:36:41.548 and come down. 905 00:36:42.315 --> 00:36:43.582 Um... 906 00:36:43.584 --> 00:36:45.250 - Are you okay? - (EXHALES) 907 00:36:45.252 --> 00:36:47.319 I've just never experienced anything like this. 908 00:36:47.321 --> 00:36:49.754 Walking into a fully set dinner table. 909 00:36:49.756 --> 00:36:53.225 Yeah, (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) this is weird. 910 00:36:53.227 --> 00:36:55.426 - I'm being... - No, no, no! Not at all. 911 00:36:55.428 --> 00:36:57.228 I think anything stable these days 912 00:36:57.230 --> 00:36:58.862 is like a gift from heaven, right? 913 00:36:58.864 --> 00:37:00.498 I should tidy up first, though. 914 00:37:00.500 --> 00:37:03.204 - (DOORBELL RINGS) - (SIGHS) 915 00:37:04.937 --> 00:37:06.237 - SUMMERVILLE: Hey. - SEAN: Hello. 916 00:37:06.239 --> 00:37:07.239 - SUMMERVILLE: Mr. Townsend? - Ah, yes. 917 00:37:07.241 --> 00:37:08.672 Detective Summerville. We spoke on the phone. 918 00:37:08.674 --> 00:37:10.007 SEAN: That's right. Um... 919 00:37:10.009 --> 00:37:12.243 Stephanie, can you help the boys with their homework? 920 00:37:12.245 --> 00:37:13.911 Of course. 921 00:37:13.913 --> 00:37:15.779 - Come in. Sorry. - Thank you. 922 00:37:15.781 --> 00:37:19.219 Just a pre-dinner snack. 923 00:37:20.620 --> 00:37:21.554 That's a cute nanny. 924 00:37:21.556 --> 00:37:24.556 No, no. That's one of my wife's friends. 925 00:37:24.558 --> 00:37:25.927 She's been helping me out. 926 00:37:27.493 --> 00:37:29.893 Oh, shit. Can she come help out around my house, too? 927 00:37:29.895 --> 00:37:31.198 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 928 00:37:33.332 --> 00:37:34.632 SUMMERVILLE: The passenger manifest says 929 00:37:34.634 --> 00:37:36.634 she wasn't on any flights to Miami. 930 00:37:36.636 --> 00:37:38.937 But she did rent a white Kia from Budget. 931 00:37:38.939 --> 00:37:40.705 She paid in cash for a two-day rental. 932 00:37:40.707 --> 00:37:42.674 Now, when people pay in cash, 933 00:37:42.676 --> 00:37:44.408 it usually means one thing. 934 00:37:44.410 --> 00:37:46.511 What are you saying? She's having an affair? 935 00:37:46.513 --> 00:37:47.946 I can't say that with any confidence. 936 00:37:47.948 --> 00:37:49.681 SEAN: Can you not track the Kia? 937 00:37:49.683 --> 00:37:51.348 SUMMERVILLE: I have toll booth reports coming in 938 00:37:51.350 --> 00:37:52.549 from across the country, 939 00:37:52.551 --> 00:37:54.419 assuming she's not swapping out plates. 940 00:37:54.421 --> 00:37:55.920 I wanna get a description of your wife to 941 00:37:55.922 --> 00:37:58.922 every precinct in the tri-state area, okay? 942 00:37:58.924 --> 00:38:00.991 Did she have any distinguishing features? 943 00:38:00.993 --> 00:38:03.295 Any birthmarks, tattoos? 944 00:38:03.297 --> 00:38:04.462 She's got a tattoo on her left wrist. 945 00:38:04.464 --> 00:38:05.529 Oh, great. 946 00:38:05.531 --> 00:38:08.533 It's flames and a charity symbol in the middle. 947 00:38:08.535 --> 00:38:10.502 - (CHUCKLES) - Really? 948 00:38:10.504 --> 00:38:11.636 More judgment from you? 949 00:38:11.638 --> 00:38:12.804 Nope. No, no, no. 950 00:38:12.806 --> 00:38:14.071 But she did things like that. 951 00:38:14.073 --> 00:38:16.373 Impulsive, crazy things. 952 00:38:16.375 --> 00:38:17.942 SUMMERVILLE: I'm gonna go call this in. 953 00:38:17.944 --> 00:38:19.480 Tell your wife's friend I said goodbye. 954 00:38:22.549 --> 00:38:23.614 SEAN: <i>You're a saint.</i> 955 00:38:23.616 --> 00:38:25.049 You don't have to do that. 956 00:38:25.051 --> 00:38:27.518 I'm not a saint. I just like to keep my hands busy. 957 00:38:27.520 --> 00:38:29.487 Um... I should go. 958 00:38:29.489 --> 00:38:31.089 It's Flags of the World day on Monday. 959 00:38:31.091 --> 00:38:32.793 I haven't even started on South America. 960 00:38:35.796 --> 00:38:37.562 Sorry. 961 00:38:37.564 --> 00:38:40.431 No, I don't mean sorry. I mean thank you. 962 00:38:40.433 --> 00:38:42.333 Thank you for being such a good friend. 963 00:38:42.335 --> 00:38:43.368 Of course. 964 00:38:43.370 --> 00:38:45.837 I'm a problem-solver, I just wish I could do more. 965 00:38:45.839 --> 00:38:47.275 You're doing plenty. 966 00:38:55.748 --> 00:38:57.415 So, that's where we are today. 967 00:38:57.417 --> 00:38:58.683 And we are keeping our heads up 968 00:38:58.685 --> 00:39:00.417 and not jumping to any conclusions. 969 00:39:00.419 --> 00:39:01.786 We are soldiering on 970 00:39:01.788 --> 00:39:03.922 with cookies and origami. 971 00:39:03.924 --> 00:39:06.491 But for you moms who want to help, 972 00:39:06.493 --> 00:39:08.659 we know that Emily was driving a white Kia 973 00:39:08.661 --> 00:39:10.495 that she rented from a Budget 974 00:39:10.497 --> 00:39:13.098 at La Guardia Airport on the 24th. 975 00:39:13.100 --> 00:39:14.565 And I did a little digging, 976 00:39:14.567 --> 00:39:16.770 so, um, the license plate is... 977 00:39:17.603 --> 00:39:18.973 (MESSAGE NOTIFICATION CHIMES) 978 00:39:23.377 --> 00:39:24.442 VIEWER: <i>Dear Stephanie,</i> 979 00:39:24.444 --> 00:39:25.377 <i>I'm writing from Standish, Michigan,</i> 980 00:39:25.379 --> 00:39:26.411 <i>with a possible Emily sighting.</i> 981 00:39:26.413 --> 00:39:29.380 <i>I was driving down I-75 two days ago,</i> 982 00:39:29.382 --> 00:39:31.649 <i>when I saw a woman gassing up a white Kia.</i> 983 00:39:31.651 --> 00:39:32.783 <i>She was really pretty,</i> 984 00:39:32.785 --> 00:39:34.118 <i>and I remember thinking she didn't look like</i> 985 00:39:34.120 --> 00:39:35.520 <i>she was from around here.</i> 986 00:39:35.522 --> 00:39:36.556 <i>I hope this helps.</i> 987 00:39:38.091 --> 00:39:40.391 STEPHANIE: So, um, Summerville sent the info 988 00:39:40.393 --> 00:39:41.792 to the local authorities in Michigan. 989 00:39:41.794 --> 00:39:44.562 Did she ever mention Michigan? Did she have a friend there? 990 00:39:44.564 --> 00:39:47.565 As far as I knew, she didn't have any real friends. 991 00:39:47.567 --> 00:39:48.933 - Not before you. - Oh. 992 00:39:48.935 --> 00:39:50.100 How is that possible? 993 00:39:50.102 --> 00:39:51.438 (RINGING) 994 00:39:54.607 --> 00:39:56.477 Hello. Please tell me you found her. 995 00:39:57.109 --> 00:39:58.345 A lake? 996 00:39:59.613 --> 00:40:01.082 (STAMMERS) Well, I don't know. 997 00:40:02.649 --> 00:40:04.482 Okay, I'm heading there now. 998 00:40:04.484 --> 00:40:06.750 They found the rental car in Michigan. 999 00:40:06.752 --> 00:40:07.618 Look, I'm gonna have to go 1000 00:40:07.620 --> 00:40:09.721 because otherwise I'm going to go crazy. 1001 00:40:09.723 --> 00:40:11.523 - Can you do me a favor? - Yes, it's done. Go. 1002 00:40:13.026 --> 00:40:14.993 <i>Hi, moms. Stephanie here.</i> 1003 00:40:14.995 --> 00:40:18.096 I can see we have a flood of new viewers today. 1004 00:40:18.098 --> 00:40:21.031 And if you're new to the vlog, I'm sorry. 1005 00:40:21.033 --> 00:40:23.167 This probably isn't the best entry to start with. 1006 00:40:23.169 --> 00:40:26.203 <i>For those of you who have been following my vlog this week,</i> 1007 00:40:26.205 --> 00:40:29.073 <i>you know that my best friend, Emily, went missing.</i> 1008 00:40:29.075 --> 00:40:33.111 <i>So many of you wrote in with your helpful tips and ideas.</i> 1009 00:40:33.113 --> 00:40:37.015 <i>I wanna give a special thanks to Leanne Lippens</i> 1010 00:40:37.017 --> 00:40:40.453 <i>whose helpful tip made a major break in the case.</i> 1011 00:40:42.189 --> 00:40:44.058 <i>I have some somber news.</i> 1012 00:40:46.692 --> 00:40:48.161 (VOICE BREAKING) <i>Emily was found.</i> 1013 00:40:51.698 --> 00:40:53.466 <i>Not alive, I'm afraid.</i> 1014 00:40:55.201 --> 00:40:57.604 <i>My friend, Emily Nelson,</i> 1015 00:40:59.205 --> 00:41:00.408 <i>is dead.</i> 1016 00:41:15.087 --> 00:41:17.489 PRIEST: <i>Our Father, we look to you again,</i> 1017 00:41:17.491 --> 00:41:19.690 <i>facing this moment of our need.</i> 1018 00:41:19.692 --> 00:41:22.960 <i>In our sorrow, grief and loneliness</i> 1019 00:41:22.962 --> 00:41:24.995 draw us up to yourself 1020 00:41:24.997 --> 00:41:28.065 that we may know the comfort of the everlasting arms. 1021 00:41:28.067 --> 00:41:30.033 Especially support and comfort those 1022 00:41:30.035 --> 00:41:33.203 who have been closest to our departed sister. 1023 00:41:33.205 --> 00:41:34.906 Sustain them in the blessed assurance 1024 00:41:34.908 --> 00:41:36.641 that death is conquered, 1025 00:41:36.643 --> 00:41:37.975 the new life is begun. 1026 00:41:37.977 --> 00:41:39.911 To be absent from the body 1027 00:41:39.913 --> 00:41:41.712 is to be present with the Lord. 1028 00:41:41.714 --> 00:41:43.681 May we be assured in the hope 1029 00:41:43.683 --> 00:41:45.049 that we shall walk together again 1030 00:41:45.051 --> 00:41:47.150 in your blessed presence. 1031 00:41:47.152 --> 00:41:49.520 Help us to number our days 1032 00:41:49.522 --> 00:41:51.858 that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. 1033 00:41:52.759 --> 00:41:53.991 In the name of the Father, 1034 00:41:53.993 --> 00:41:55.629 and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. 1035 00:41:56.196 --> 00:41:57.198 Amen. 1036 00:42:04.738 --> 00:42:05.803 Hi. 1037 00:42:05.805 --> 00:42:06.806 Oh, hi. 1038 00:42:08.174 --> 00:42:09.908 Are those, um... 1039 00:42:09.910 --> 00:42:11.775 Oh, yeah, yeah, they are. 1040 00:42:11.777 --> 00:42:14.545 They're from your last-minute brownie entry. 1041 00:42:14.547 --> 00:42:16.880 I can't believe you watch my vlog. 1042 00:42:16.882 --> 00:42:18.248 (STAMMERS) To be honest, 1043 00:42:18.250 --> 00:42:19.683 when we first started watching it, 1044 00:42:19.685 --> 00:42:21.118 we were just making fun of you. 1045 00:42:21.120 --> 00:42:22.819 But, um... 1046 00:42:22.821 --> 00:42:25.022 But then, you had some really helpful hints in there. 1047 00:42:25.024 --> 00:42:27.025 Especially when Lulu got that rash, 1048 00:42:27.027 --> 00:42:28.993 apple cider vinegar was great. 1049 00:42:28.995 --> 00:42:30.594 Oh, well, great! That's... 1050 00:42:30.596 --> 00:42:31.598 Yeah. (CHUCKLES) 1051 00:42:33.832 --> 00:42:34.933 You're a real saint 1052 00:42:34.935 --> 00:42:36.199 to help her family out like this. 1053 00:42:36.201 --> 00:42:37.467 I'm not a saint. 1054 00:42:37.469 --> 00:42:40.170 Emily was my friend, and she'd do the same for me, so... 1055 00:42:40.172 --> 00:42:41.806 If you or Sean need me 1056 00:42:41.808 --> 00:42:44.676 to watch Miles or Nicky anytime, it's nothing. 1057 00:42:44.678 --> 00:42:47.111 That's so sweet, Sona. Thank you. 1058 00:42:47.113 --> 00:42:50.181 It's the least she could do, she didn't even bake anything. 1059 00:42:50.183 --> 00:42:51.518 - Yeah, yeah. - Okay. 1060 00:42:52.252 --> 00:42:53.585 MILES: Nicky, 1061 00:42:53.587 --> 00:42:55.018 you don't need to worry. 1062 00:42:55.020 --> 00:42:56.620 Your mom's in heaven now. 1063 00:42:56.622 --> 00:42:59.223 - No, she's not! Shut up! - (MILES GROANING) 1064 00:42:59.225 --> 00:43:00.357 - She's in the ground! - MILES: Ow! Stop it! 1065 00:43:00.359 --> 00:43:01.725 She's never coming back! 1066 00:43:01.727 --> 00:43:03.094 - (NICKY GRUNTING) - Ow! You're hurting me! 1067 00:43:03.096 --> 00:43:04.828 - NICKY: I hate you! - MILES: Ow! Stop it! 1068 00:43:04.830 --> 00:43:07.066 - (NICKY CONTINUES GRUNTS) - SEAN: Nicky, get off him! 1069 00:43:08.835 --> 00:43:10.134 Nicky, what're you doing? Get off him! 1070 00:43:10.136 --> 00:43:11.835 - What the hell are you doing? - (MILES CRYING) 1071 00:43:11.837 --> 00:43:12.804 Calm down, stop that. 1072 00:43:12.806 --> 00:43:15.172 She made this happen! She made my mom die! 1073 00:43:15.174 --> 00:43:16.641 That's crazy and you know that. 1074 00:43:16.643 --> 00:43:17.942 She's trying to be my new mom! 1075 00:43:17.944 --> 00:43:19.042 Sweetie, I'm not trying to be your mom. 1076 00:43:19.044 --> 00:43:20.210 I want my mom! 1077 00:43:20.212 --> 00:43:21.279 I know you do, baby. I know you do. 1078 00:43:21.281 --> 00:43:22.679 - But calm down. - Mom was right! 1079 00:43:22.681 --> 00:43:24.949 You are a loser! 1080 00:43:25.652 --> 00:43:26.717 Is that what she told you, 1081 00:43:26.719 --> 00:43:27.951 drunk at 2:00 in the afternoon? 1082 00:43:27.953 --> 00:43:30.087 - I am trying my best! - Sean! 1083 00:43:30.089 --> 00:43:31.688 He's just a little boy. Jesus! 1084 00:43:31.690 --> 00:43:33.190 - Nicky, I'm sorry. - (NICKY CRYING) 1085 00:43:33.192 --> 00:43:34.859 - What do I do? - STEPHANIE: Okay. 1086 00:43:34.861 --> 00:43:36.027 What do I do? 1087 00:43:36.029 --> 00:43:37.362 We're all gonna take a deep, centering breath now. 1088 00:43:37.364 --> 00:43:38.895 Ready? (INHALES DEEPLY) 1089 00:43:38.897 --> 00:43:40.297 We're gonna focus on one thing at a time. 1090 00:43:40.299 --> 00:43:42.299 I'm gonna stay and talk to Nicky. 1091 00:43:42.301 --> 00:43:43.900 So I need you to take Miles inside, 1092 00:43:43.902 --> 00:43:45.268 put some ice on his nose. 1093 00:43:45.270 --> 00:43:47.073 'Cause you got a good little shiner coming. 1094 00:43:48.040 --> 00:43:49.776 - It's okay. - Okay. 1095 00:43:50.143 --> 00:43:51.145 It's okay. 1096 00:43:53.946 --> 00:43:55.615 I don't wanna talk to you. 1097 00:43:56.783 --> 00:43:58.750 (STEPHANIE SIGHS) 1098 00:43:58.752 --> 00:43:59.850 You're not my favorite dinner date 1099 00:43:59.852 --> 00:44:01.986 right now either, buster. 1100 00:44:01.988 --> 00:44:03.187 But you should know that everything 1101 00:44:03.189 --> 00:44:05.188 you're feeling right now is normal. 1102 00:44:05.190 --> 00:44:07.391 You can act out all you want. That's fine. 1103 00:44:07.393 --> 00:44:09.192 This doesn't change what I know. 1104 00:44:09.194 --> 00:44:10.728 What do you know? 1105 00:44:10.730 --> 00:44:11.865 That you're a good kid. 1106 00:44:15.000 --> 00:44:16.669 So let's just sit here and not talk. 1107 00:44:18.672 --> 00:44:20.772 Let's just sit here 1108 00:44:20.774 --> 00:44:22.977 and feel lousy and watch the grass grow. 1109 00:44:37.056 --> 00:44:38.257 (SIGHS DEEPLY) 1110 00:44:57.109 --> 00:44:58.111 Hey. 1111 00:44:59.745 --> 00:45:02.913 Hey, come on. Don't be hard on yourself, yeah? 1112 00:45:02.915 --> 00:45:05.216 It's the kind of stuff nobody gets right. 1113 00:45:05.218 --> 00:45:07.217 You do. You always do. 1114 00:45:07.219 --> 00:45:08.988 No, no, come on. 1115 00:45:13.759 --> 00:45:16.330 (BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY) 1116 00:45:32.145 --> 00:45:33.847 Um... I don't know if... 1117 00:45:34.814 --> 00:45:35.879 Yeah. 1118 00:45:35.881 --> 00:45:37.216 - Yeah, we shouldn't. - Yeah. 1119 00:45:38.417 --> 00:45:40.051 Yeah. 1120 00:45:40.053 --> 00:45:41.955 (BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY) 1121 00:45:42.888 --> 00:45:43.890 Fuck. 1122 00:45:55.033 --> 00:45:56.436 (SEDUCTIVE MUSIC PLAYING) 1123 00:46:12.285 --> 00:46:13.921 (MOANING) 1124 00:46:45.317 --> 00:46:47.353 - (REMOTE BEEPS) - (UPBEAT FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) 1125 00:48:09.167 --> 00:48:10.469 (DOORBELL RINGING) 1126 00:48:14.373 --> 00:48:16.973 Are you serious? 1127 00:48:16.975 --> 00:48:18.377 (DOORBELL CONTINUES RINGING) 1128 00:48:27.520 --> 00:48:30.353 - Hey, Ms. Smothers! - (EXCLAIMS) 1129 00:48:30.355 --> 00:48:32.892 - Can I talk to you? - Yeah. Um... 1130 00:48:34.259 --> 00:48:35.299 I'm gonna come right down. 1131 00:48:38.163 --> 00:48:39.332 Shit! 1132 00:48:40.632 --> 00:48:43.366 - Hi! Hi! - Hey! Hey! 1133 00:48:43.368 --> 00:48:46.536 Uh, I just left something here, so I was just... 1134 00:48:46.538 --> 00:48:47.938 I had a key 1135 00:48:47.940 --> 00:48:49.640 because earlier, Sean gave me a key... 1136 00:48:49.642 --> 00:48:51.208 You're not under arrest, Miss Smothers. 1137 00:48:51.210 --> 00:48:52.212 - Oh! (CHUCKLING) - FYI. 1138 00:48:53.145 --> 00:48:54.545 I should hope not. 1139 00:48:54.547 --> 00:48:57.114 - All right. No, no. - No. 1140 00:48:57.116 --> 00:48:59.152 - You're very funny. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 1141 00:48:59.419 --> 00:49:00.554 Um... 1142 00:49:01.353 --> 00:49:02.353 Sean's not here right now. 1143 00:49:02.355 --> 00:49:05.188 You know, I was actually hoping to speak to you. 1144 00:49:05.190 --> 00:49:07.190 - Oh! - Yeah, I went by your house. 1145 00:49:07.192 --> 00:49:08.591 Then I went by the school, 1146 00:49:08.593 --> 00:49:10.594 then one of the moms thought you might be here. 1147 00:49:10.596 --> 00:49:12.632 Did they? Okay. Well, that's... 1148 00:49:13.399 --> 00:49:14.632 Was it Stacy? 1149 00:49:14.634 --> 00:49:16.567 Can I come in? 1150 00:49:16.569 --> 00:49:18.435 - Of course, I would love that! - Thank you. 1151 00:49:18.437 --> 00:49:20.237 (SPEAKS FRENCH) 1152 00:49:20.239 --> 00:49:22.142 You said that Emily's your best friend. 1153 00:49:22.975 --> 00:49:25.275 Yes. Yes, we are. 1154 00:49:25.277 --> 00:49:27.444 - Was she depressed? - No. 1155 00:49:27.446 --> 00:49:29.080 No, she had everything. 1156 00:49:29.082 --> 00:49:30.580 She had the house and the job... 1157 00:49:30.582 --> 00:49:31.651 And the husband. 1158 00:49:32.718 --> 00:49:34.217 I was getting there, yeah. 1159 00:49:34.219 --> 00:49:36.353 The neighbors said they fought a lot. 1160 00:49:36.355 --> 00:49:38.989 Well, they had issues. Um... 1161 00:49:38.991 --> 00:49:41.091 But they loved each other intensely. 1162 00:49:41.093 --> 00:49:42.296 Oh, what issues did they have? 1163 00:49:42.995 --> 00:49:44.060 The normal issues. 1164 00:49:44.062 --> 00:49:44.962 They were stressed about money. 1165 00:49:44.964 --> 00:49:47.698 And I think Emily wanted to slow down 1166 00:49:47.700 --> 00:49:49.333 and smell the roses. 1167 00:49:49.335 --> 00:49:51.201 She slowed down all right. 1168 00:49:51.203 --> 00:49:54.106 I got the autopsy report right here. 1169 00:49:55.107 --> 00:49:56.207 Let's see here. 1170 00:49:56.209 --> 00:49:59.243 "Severe liver damage suggesting heavy alcohol use. 1171 00:49:59.245 --> 00:50:03.080 "Track marks along her arms and between her toes." 1172 00:50:03.082 --> 00:50:04.685 Were you aware of the heroin use? 1173 00:50:08.053 --> 00:50:09.522 No, that's, uh... (STAMMERING) 1174 00:50:11.424 --> 00:50:13.056 I'm sorry, I really have 1175 00:50:13.058 --> 00:50:14.658 - trouble believing that. - (SCOFFS) 1176 00:50:14.660 --> 00:50:17.060 She liked a very strong martini, but... 1177 00:50:17.062 --> 00:50:21.732 I don't know how she could've kept that a secret from me, 1178 00:50:21.734 --> 00:50:24.234 and especially from her husband, Sean. 1179 00:50:24.236 --> 00:50:26.237 Yeah, you seem to know Sean pretty well. 1180 00:50:26.239 --> 00:50:28.672 I... We've gotten to know each other 1181 00:50:28.674 --> 00:50:31.708 over the last few weeks, just as friends. 1182 00:50:31.710 --> 00:50:32.712 Uh-huh. 1183 00:50:34.212 --> 00:50:35.478 (CLICKS TONGUE) I'm guessing you've never dealt 1184 00:50:35.480 --> 00:50:37.149 with law enforcement before. 1185 00:50:44.589 --> 00:50:46.292 - Not really, no. - Mmm. 1186 00:50:47.225 --> 00:50:49.192 (SUMMERVILLE CHUCKLES) 1187 00:50:49.194 --> 00:50:50.261 That's a really nice dress. 1188 00:50:50.263 --> 00:50:52.062 Oh, thank you. 1189 00:50:52.064 --> 00:50:53.297 Doesn't seem to be your style, though. 1190 00:50:53.299 --> 00:50:56.167 Oh, I'm very versatile, Detective, 1191 00:50:56.169 --> 00:50:57.600 I think you'll find. 1192 00:50:57.602 --> 00:51:01.371 I'm really just trying to help Sean and Nicky 1193 00:51:01.373 --> 00:51:02.473 in their time of grief. 1194 00:51:02.475 --> 00:51:03.743 Oh, how is Sean's grief? 1195 00:51:05.210 --> 00:51:06.743 He's holding up very well. 1196 00:51:06.745 --> 00:51:09.179 As well as can be expected. 1197 00:51:09.181 --> 00:51:10.815 Uh-huh. (CHUCKLES) 1198 00:51:10.817 --> 00:51:12.817 Is that everything, or... 1199 00:51:12.819 --> 00:51:15.288 (CLEARS THROAT) Let me ask you something. 1200 00:51:18.390 --> 00:51:19.690 Were you aware 1201 00:51:19.692 --> 00:51:22.259 that he took out an extra $4 million 1202 00:51:22.261 --> 00:51:23.594 life insurance policy 1203 00:51:23.596 --> 00:51:25.364 on Emily before she disappeared? 1204 00:51:27.399 --> 00:51:30.536 I was not aware of that, no. 1205 00:51:31.270 --> 00:51:32.706 Why? How would I? 1206 00:51:34.640 --> 00:51:37.208 (CHUCKLES) Okay, all right. 1207 00:51:37.210 --> 00:51:39.513 (SIGHS) Yeah, I don't... 1208 00:51:40.178 --> 00:51:42.248 I'm sorry. What... 1209 00:51:44.216 --> 00:51:45.281 What are you... 1210 00:51:45.283 --> 00:51:46.616 Are you saying he had her rubbed out? 1211 00:51:46.618 --> 00:51:48.118 He hired a hitman? 1212 00:51:48.120 --> 00:51:51.321 (LAUGHING) 1213 00:51:51.323 --> 00:51:53.656 I didn't say anything about him hiring a hitman. 1214 00:51:53.658 --> 00:51:54.757 You just did. 1215 00:51:54.759 --> 00:51:56.560 Okay. 1216 00:51:56.562 --> 00:51:58.194 I can see that you're enjoying yourself, 1217 00:51:58.196 --> 00:51:59.330 Detective Summerville. 1218 00:51:59.332 --> 00:52:00.864 But if you wanna grill someone, you should 1219 00:52:00.866 --> 00:52:03.400 really speak to Emily's boss, Dennis Nylon. 1220 00:52:03.402 --> 00:52:05.201 He could not be more suspicious. 1221 00:52:05.203 --> 00:52:07.471 That's super interesting because he contacted us. 1222 00:52:07.473 --> 00:52:10.574 And he said he thought you knew more than you were letting on. 1223 00:52:10.576 --> 00:52:12.909 Well, he sucks. 1224 00:52:12.911 --> 00:52:15.411 So... (SIGHS) 1225 00:52:15.413 --> 00:52:17.714 As long as you're honest with me, Ms. Smothers, 1226 00:52:17.716 --> 00:52:18.882 I swear to you, 1227 00:52:18.884 --> 00:52:20.817 you have nothing to worry about. Okay? 1228 00:52:20.819 --> 00:52:24.587 I'm just following breadcrumbs wherever they lead. 1229 00:52:24.589 --> 00:52:26.323 Okay, you know what? I'm done for now. 1230 00:52:26.325 --> 00:52:28.359 Thanks for your time. 1231 00:52:28.361 --> 00:52:30.928 (STAMMERS) Your theory doesn't hold water, you know, 1232 00:52:30.930 --> 00:52:32.328 because it doesn't explain 1233 00:52:32.330 --> 00:52:34.632 the fake plane ticket or the rental car. 1234 00:52:34.634 --> 00:52:36.833 And why would someone shoot her full of heroin 1235 00:52:36.835 --> 00:52:38.101 at a summer camp in Michigan? 1236 00:52:38.103 --> 00:52:40.303 There's plenty of good heroin right here in Connecticut! 1237 00:52:40.640 --> 00:52:42.205 I'm told. 1238 00:52:42.207 --> 00:52:44.808 Great, good. Okay, so we have a lot to talk about. 1239 00:52:44.810 --> 00:52:46.476 All right, then. Enjoy the new house. 1240 00:52:46.478 --> 00:52:49.179 The worst breadcrumbs I've ever heard of, you know. 1241 00:52:49.181 --> 00:52:50.346 Couldn't fill a Caesar salad 1242 00:52:50.348 --> 00:52:51.948 - with those breadcrumbs! - (DOOR CLOSES) 1243 00:52:58.457 --> 00:52:59.792 (SIGHING IN RELIEF) 1244 00:53:44.770 --> 00:53:48.404 Why is this Caesarean salad so crunchy? 1245 00:53:48.406 --> 00:53:51.178 It's Caesar salad, baby, and it's delicious. 1246 00:53:51.676 --> 00:53:52.812 What's in it? 1247 00:53:54.312 --> 00:53:55.314 Breadcrumbs. 1248 00:53:55.580 --> 00:53:56.647 Oh. 1249 00:53:56.649 --> 00:53:57.851 How was your day at work? 1250 00:53:58.817 --> 00:53:59.884 Grim. 1251 00:53:59.886 --> 00:54:01.051 Spent most of the day explaining the difference 1252 00:54:01.053 --> 00:54:05.522 between "your" possessive and "you're" apostrophe R-E 1253 00:54:05.524 --> 00:54:08.424 to college juniors. 1254 00:54:08.426 --> 00:54:10.426 I can see how that might drive a man over the edge. 1255 00:54:11.564 --> 00:54:13.029 I know, right? 1256 00:54:13.031 --> 00:54:14.464 What about you boys? 1257 00:54:14.466 --> 00:54:16.667 What'd you guys get up to today at school? 1258 00:54:16.669 --> 00:54:17.871 I saw my mom. 1259 00:54:21.940 --> 00:54:23.540 I understand, Nicky, that sometimes 1260 00:54:23.542 --> 00:54:25.478 we think we see people that we miss 1261 00:54:26.411 --> 00:54:27.777 even if they're gone. 1262 00:54:27.779 --> 00:54:29.413 No, I saw her. 1263 00:54:29.415 --> 00:54:30.614 She was right outside the fence 1264 00:54:30.616 --> 00:54:32.451 by the kickball yard at recess. 1265 00:54:34.053 --> 00:54:36.487 Lots of people look like someone else. 1266 00:54:36.489 --> 00:54:37.757 Nobody looks like Mom! 1267 00:54:39.292 --> 00:54:40.652 She told me to say hi to Stephanie. 1268 00:54:40.960 --> 00:54:42.058 Nicky, 1269 00:54:42.060 --> 00:54:43.661 this is unhealthy. 1270 00:54:43.663 --> 00:54:45.665 Miles saw her, too. Right, Miles? 1271 00:54:46.866 --> 00:54:48.498 I think I did. 1272 00:54:48.500 --> 00:54:49.632 But I don't know. 1273 00:54:49.634 --> 00:54:51.034 I was playing tetherball. 1274 00:54:51.036 --> 00:54:52.870 Did you two hatch this up? 1275 00:54:52.872 --> 00:54:55.071 Is this a game, like when you smash everything with trucks? 1276 00:54:55.073 --> 00:54:56.674 Because you know what we say about lying. 1277 00:54:56.676 --> 00:54:59.310 I'm not lying! I saw her! Fuck you! 1278 00:54:59.312 --> 00:55:00.710 Hey, Nicky! 1279 00:55:00.712 --> 00:55:01.714 MILES: Oopsy! 1280 00:55:03.683 --> 00:55:05.318 I'm sorry. 1281 00:55:14.359 --> 00:55:16.560 Don't I get a kiss good night? 1282 00:55:16.562 --> 00:55:18.495 Of course you do, sweetie. 1283 00:55:18.497 --> 00:55:20.431 Actually, you owe the oopsy jar a quarter 1284 00:55:20.433 --> 00:55:21.868 for earlier, but I... 1285 00:55:28.674 --> 00:55:29.676 Good night, sweetie. 1286 00:55:39.118 --> 00:55:40.320 Hey. 1287 00:55:41.553 --> 00:55:43.289 We should get naked. 1288 00:55:45.524 --> 00:55:46.759 What is it? 1289 00:55:47.560 --> 00:55:48.891 What's wrong? 1290 00:55:48.893 --> 00:55:52.429 I smell her, Sean. I smell her perfume. 1291 00:55:52.431 --> 00:55:54.765 It's all over Nicky like a ghost. 1292 00:55:54.767 --> 00:55:56.132 He probably got to her perfume bottle 1293 00:55:56.134 --> 00:55:57.835 in the medicine cabinet. 1294 00:55:57.837 --> 00:55:59.670 He misses her. 1295 00:55:59.672 --> 00:56:00.971 Okay? It's just you being paranoid. 1296 00:56:00.973 --> 00:56:03.043 Is it? Because I found this, too. 1297 00:56:04.576 --> 00:56:06.009 What's this? 1298 00:56:06.011 --> 00:56:07.511 It's the friendship bracelet I made her. 1299 00:56:07.513 --> 00:56:09.353 I'm afraid to say she would not have kept this. 1300 00:56:09.881 --> 00:56:12.516 She hated stuff like this. 1301 00:56:12.518 --> 00:56:13.683 She probably gave it to him 1302 00:56:13.685 --> 00:56:15.118 right after you gave it to her. 1303 00:56:15.120 --> 00:56:17.120 Unless he's telling the truth. 1304 00:56:17.122 --> 00:56:19.558 You saw her with your own eyes. 1305 00:56:20.158 --> 00:56:21.692 In her coffin. 1306 00:56:21.694 --> 00:56:23.092 There was something off. 1307 00:56:23.094 --> 00:56:25.161 They found her at the bottom of a lake! 1308 00:56:25.163 --> 00:56:26.696 You saw her tattoo, 1309 00:56:26.698 --> 00:56:28.901 and you saw that ring that she stole from my mother. 1310 00:56:30.703 --> 00:56:33.103 She said your mother wanted her to have that ring. 1311 00:56:33.105 --> 00:56:34.538 She said your mother insisted. 1312 00:56:34.540 --> 00:56:36.906 That's what she told you? (SCOFFS) 1313 00:56:36.908 --> 00:56:39.076 My father gave that ring to my mother. 1314 00:56:39.078 --> 00:56:40.444 It was like the only bit of jewelry 1315 00:56:40.446 --> 00:56:41.712 that she ever owned. 1316 00:56:41.714 --> 00:56:43.647 I took Emily to London to meet my mother 1317 00:56:43.649 --> 00:56:44.882 after we eloped. 1318 00:56:44.884 --> 00:56:47.551 It went missing that weekend. 1319 00:56:47.553 --> 00:56:50.620 My mother was frantic. We searched everywhere. 1320 00:56:50.622 --> 00:56:52.142 Nothing. We didn't find a single thing. 1321 00:56:53.526 --> 00:56:55.458 <i>My mother was devastated.</i> 1322 00:56:55.460 --> 00:56:56.930 <i>So we took a flight back to New York.</i> 1323 00:56:58.163 --> 00:56:59.665 Guess what I found. 1324 00:57:00.498 --> 00:57:01.901 What did you find? 1325 00:57:02.835 --> 00:57:04.134 - No! - (LAUGHS) 1326 00:57:04.136 --> 00:57:05.868 No way! 1327 00:57:05.870 --> 00:57:08.471 - My little Sherlock Holmes. - (LAUGHS) 1328 00:57:08.473 --> 00:57:10.207 Mum is gonna be so relieved. 1329 00:57:10.209 --> 00:57:12.109 Oh, come on, baby. 1330 00:57:12.111 --> 00:57:14.848 Mum will take it to the grave. What a waste. 1331 00:57:15.614 --> 00:57:16.846 So pretty. 1332 00:57:16.848 --> 00:57:17.815 Excuse me. 1333 00:57:17.817 --> 00:57:20.650 Not amusing, my darling, not in the slightest. 1334 00:57:20.652 --> 00:57:23.453 I'm not joking in the slightest, 1335 00:57:23.455 --> 00:57:25.221 (IN BRITISH ACCENT) my darling. 1336 00:57:25.223 --> 00:57:26.223 (IN NORMAL ACCENT) I took it. 1337 00:57:26.225 --> 00:57:28.591 I don't have any intention of giving it back. 1338 00:57:28.593 --> 00:57:29.792 Of course we're gonna give it back. 1339 00:57:29.794 --> 00:57:31.495 No. 1340 00:57:31.497 --> 00:57:32.830 We'll tell her that it just slipped 1341 00:57:32.832 --> 00:57:34.096 into your purse by accident, 1342 00:57:34.098 --> 00:57:36.632 and we've only found it now. 1343 00:57:36.634 --> 00:57:38.569 But if you tell her that I found it, 1344 00:57:38.571 --> 00:57:40.069 then I have to tell her that I stole it. 1345 00:57:40.071 --> 00:57:42.473 And what do you think will be worse for her? 1346 00:57:42.475 --> 00:57:44.641 Thinking that she lost her ring, 1347 00:57:44.643 --> 00:57:47.478 or thinking that her son married a thief? (GASPS) 1348 00:57:47.480 --> 00:57:48.978 - Baby... - Hey. 1349 00:57:48.980 --> 00:57:51.116 You choose, her or me? 1350 00:57:54.252 --> 00:57:56.152 Meet me in the bathroom in 20 seconds. 1351 00:57:56.154 --> 00:57:57.189 Knock twice. 1352 00:58:23.848 --> 00:58:27.216 SEAN: <i>Nine months later, Nicky was born.</i> 1353 00:58:27.218 --> 00:58:29.286 STEPHANIE: <i>How could you stay with her?</i> 1354 00:58:29.288 --> 00:58:31.554 I was spellbound. 1355 00:58:31.556 --> 00:58:32.656 She was the only woman 1356 00:58:32.658 --> 00:58:34.091 I could never figure out fully. 1357 00:58:34.093 --> 00:58:36.225 As a young, arrogant writer, I could never 1358 00:58:36.227 --> 00:58:38.261 live up to what she expected of me. 1359 00:58:38.263 --> 00:58:40.062 I was always looking over my shoulder. 1360 00:58:40.064 --> 00:58:41.500 I could hardly sleep. 1361 00:58:42.902 --> 00:58:44.734 But with you, it's different. 1362 00:58:44.736 --> 00:58:46.169 I sleep like a log. 1363 00:58:46.171 --> 00:58:47.904 That's what every woman wants to hear. 1364 00:58:47.906 --> 00:58:48.971 You know what I mean. 1365 00:58:48.973 --> 00:58:50.742 You understand me, you see me. 1366 00:58:51.643 --> 00:58:53.609 You've rebuilt me, Stephanie. 1367 00:58:53.611 --> 00:58:55.047 I've even started writing again. 1368 00:58:55.881 --> 00:58:57.880 First couple of chapters, 1369 00:58:57.882 --> 00:58:59.085 but it's a start. 1370 00:59:00.919 --> 00:59:01.988 Oh. 1371 00:59:03.288 --> 00:59:05.054 That's wonderful. 1372 00:59:05.056 --> 00:59:06.957 You took a broken man, 1373 00:59:06.959 --> 00:59:09.292 and you pieced him back together again. 1374 00:59:09.294 --> 00:59:11.763 You're unlike any other woman I've ever met. 1375 00:59:13.698 --> 00:59:14.733 Move in with me. 1376 00:59:16.100 --> 00:59:17.067 Sean. 1377 00:59:17.069 --> 00:59:19.803 No, it's too soon. What will people think? 1378 00:59:19.805 --> 00:59:21.103 They're already thinking it. 1379 00:59:21.105 --> 00:59:23.707 And I'm tired of lying. I'm tired of pretending. 1380 00:59:23.709 --> 00:59:24.844 I want to be this man. 1381 00:59:25.578 --> 00:59:26.913 The man I am with you. 1382 00:59:28.147 --> 00:59:30.080 I don't do threesomes. 1383 00:59:30.082 --> 00:59:31.214 I want to say that. 1384 00:59:31.216 --> 00:59:32.683 I'll just get that out in the open. 1385 00:59:32.685 --> 00:59:34.317 What are you talking about? 1386 00:59:34.319 --> 00:59:35.986 Your TA? 1387 00:59:35.988 --> 00:59:39.589 Emily told me about your little moment. 1388 00:59:39.591 --> 00:59:40.891 - That's what she told you? - Yes. 1389 00:59:40.893 --> 00:59:41.958 Stephanie, listen. 1390 00:59:41.960 --> 00:59:44.161 Emily was a pathological liar. 1391 00:59:44.163 --> 00:59:46.165 That never happened, okay? 1392 00:59:47.299 --> 00:59:49.199 Why did you take out a $4 million 1393 00:59:49.201 --> 00:59:51.000 insurance policy on her? 1394 00:59:51.002 --> 00:59:53.636 My gosh. Those cops really did a number on you, didn't they? 1395 00:59:53.638 --> 00:59:54.971 I'm being serious. 1396 00:59:54.973 --> 00:59:56.806 It was because of you. 1397 00:59:56.808 --> 00:59:58.275 When Emily found out that you had been 1398 00:59:58.277 --> 01:00:01.078 living off your husband's insurance money, 1399 01:00:01.080 --> 01:00:03.714 she thought she and I needed to get policies 1400 01:00:03.716 --> 01:00:05.181 out for Nicky's sake. 1401 01:00:05.183 --> 01:00:07.263 It's probably the most responsible thing we ever did. 1402 01:00:08.053 --> 01:00:09.255 Thanks to you. 1403 01:00:11.656 --> 01:00:13.056 Move in with me. 1404 01:00:13.058 --> 01:00:15.658 We can start a whole new, wonderful life together. 1405 01:00:15.660 --> 01:00:17.229 Just you, me and the boys. 1406 01:00:18.830 --> 01:00:21.133 - Please, say yes. - (CHUCKLES) 1407 01:00:23.902 --> 01:00:26.306 I love you, Stephanie Smothers. 1408 01:00:27.806 --> 01:00:30.040 I love you, too. 1409 01:00:30.042 --> 01:00:31.877 (UPBEAT FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) 1410 01:00:52.931 --> 01:00:54.263 (STEPHANIE GASPS) 1411 01:00:54.265 --> 01:00:55.601 (GRUNTS) 1412 01:01:36.207 --> 01:01:37.410 (SCREAMS) 1413 01:01:47.953 --> 01:01:50.821 <i>Hi, moms. This is Stephanie here.</i> 1414 01:01:50.823 --> 01:01:52.788 <i>I'm gonna do something a little different today.</i> 1415 01:01:52.790 --> 01:01:55.225 <i>I normally avoid any talk of religion on the vlog.</i> 1416 01:01:55.227 --> 01:01:58.261 <i>I don't wanna offend any non-denominational moms.</i> 1417 01:01:58.263 --> 01:02:01.034 <i>But I do think that we live on after we die, so...</i> 1418 01:02:03.234 --> 01:02:04.433 <i>Emily,</i> 1419 01:02:04.435 --> 01:02:07.036 <i>if you are out there,</i> 1420 01:02:07.038 --> 01:02:09.239 <i>and you can hear me right now,</i> 1421 01:02:09.241 --> 01:02:11.408 <i>no one could ever replace you.</i> 1422 01:02:11.410 --> 01:02:14.444 <i>And you'll always be Nicky's mom.</i> 1423 01:02:14.446 --> 01:02:16.879 <i>I can't take your place.</i> 1424 01:02:16.881 --> 01:02:21.051 <i>I can just try to love the people that you love</i> 1425 01:02:21.053 --> 01:02:23.453 <i>and try to make their lives better.</i> 1426 01:02:23.455 --> 01:02:25.190 <i>I think that's what you would want.</i> 1427 01:02:27.926 --> 01:02:30.127 - (MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) - (BOYS GRUNTING) 1428 01:02:30.129 --> 01:02:32.895 Okay, guys, it's getting too rough back there. 1429 01:02:32.897 --> 01:02:34.765 I murdered you! 1430 01:02:34.767 --> 01:02:37.199 Not me. I came back to life. 1431 01:02:37.201 --> 01:02:38.868 Like your mom! 1432 01:02:38.870 --> 01:02:40.504 Okay, the dolls are going in your backpacks 1433 01:02:40.506 --> 01:02:42.004 or they're going in the trash, I mean it. 1434 01:02:42.006 --> 01:02:45.375 Mom, they're not dolls! God! 1435 01:02:45.377 --> 01:02:48.779 Stephanie, my mom told me to give you this. 1436 01:02:48.781 --> 01:02:50.781 - MILES: Mom! - (CAR HORN HONKING) 1437 01:02:50.783 --> 01:02:52.719 - (TIRES SCREECHING) - (BOYS SCREAMING) 1438 01:02:57.922 --> 01:02:59.491 Damn! Are you trying to kill us? 1439 01:03:13.372 --> 01:03:15.274 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 1440 01:03:16.975 --> 01:03:17.977 (SIGHS) 1441 01:03:19.310 --> 01:03:20.409 Hello? 1442 01:03:20.411 --> 01:03:21.377 MAN: <i>Hi, I'm calling from</i> 1443 01:03:21.379 --> 01:03:23.078 <i>United Timeshare International.</i> 1444 01:03:23.080 --> 01:03:24.380 Yep, I... 1445 01:03:24.382 --> 01:03:26.216 <i>We'd like to offer you a free trip to the Bahamas.</i> 1446 01:03:26.218 --> 01:03:27.817 <i>All you have to do is come down to one of...</i> 1447 01:03:27.819 --> 01:03:29.886 I don't want that, have a nice day. 1448 01:03:29.888 --> 01:03:31.190 I don't want that, I don't care. 1449 01:03:31.924 --> 01:03:33.759 Oh, my God! 1450 01:03:34.359 --> 01:03:36.295 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 1451 01:03:37.529 --> 01:03:38.962 Hi, I'm sure you have a job to do. 1452 01:03:38.964 --> 01:03:40.029 I don't need a free trip. 1453 01:03:40.031 --> 01:03:41.033 EMILY: <i>Hi.</i> 1454 01:03:44.069 --> 01:03:45.271 <i>Brotherfucker.</i> 1455 01:03:48.239 --> 01:03:50.841 - Emily? - <i>No, no, Emily's dead.</i> 1456 01:03:50.843 --> 01:03:53.342 <i>Oh, no, have you forgotten already?</i> 1457 01:03:53.344 --> 01:03:55.145 - Where are you? - <i>I'm in heaven.</i> 1458 01:03:55.147 --> 01:03:57.313 <i>Watching over you.</i> 1459 01:03:57.315 --> 01:03:58.785 <i>Nice blouse, by the way.</i> 1460 01:04:01.185 --> 01:04:03.053 Why are you doing this? 1461 01:04:03.055 --> 01:04:04.620 <i>How do you know it's just me doing it?</i> 1462 01:04:04.622 --> 01:04:06.992 <i>Hey, hey, hey, kiss Sean for me,</i> 1463 01:04:07.526 --> 01:04:09.060 <i>four million times.</i> 1464 01:04:14.899 --> 01:04:15.799 Oh, hey. 1465 01:04:15.801 --> 01:04:17.933 Are you trying to <i>Diabolique</i> me? 1466 01:04:17.935 --> 01:04:19.169 What are you talking about? 1467 01:04:19.171 --> 01:04:20.036 <i>Diabolique,</i> you know? 1468 01:04:20.038 --> 01:04:23.172 The French movie about the guy whose wife 1469 01:04:23.174 --> 01:04:24.875 and mistress, they're trying to kill him. 1470 01:04:24.877 --> 01:04:26.109 But I don't have a $4 million 1471 01:04:26.111 --> 01:04:27.476 - insurance policy. - Stephanie... 1472 01:04:27.478 --> 01:04:30.179 If you and Emily are in some kind of plan, please just call it off... 1473 01:04:30.181 --> 01:04:32.114 - Stephanie. - I'm really not the one. 1474 01:04:32.116 --> 01:04:33.650 - Just breathe, please. - (SIGHS) 1475 01:04:33.652 --> 01:04:36.219 Nicky's getting to you. Emily is dead. 1476 01:04:36.221 --> 01:04:37.456 She called me. 1477 01:04:38.290 --> 01:04:39.623 What? 1478 01:04:39.625 --> 01:04:41.091 She called me today. 1479 01:04:41.093 --> 01:04:42.458 I have a friend in the psychology department. 1480 01:04:42.460 --> 01:04:43.525 - I'll give him a call. - (KNOCK ON DOOR) 1481 01:04:43.527 --> 01:04:45.127 BETH: Hey, handsome, you got time... 1482 01:04:45.129 --> 01:04:48.297 I am sorry. I didn't know you were in a meeting. 1483 01:04:48.299 --> 01:04:49.632 Beth, this is Stephanie. 1484 01:04:49.634 --> 01:04:51.333 Nice to meet you. 1485 01:04:51.335 --> 01:04:53.036 Nice to meet you. 1486 01:04:53.038 --> 01:04:55.004 I was just wondering if you needed 1487 01:04:55.006 --> 01:04:57.107 to use the SMART board, 'cause it's broken. 1488 01:04:57.109 --> 01:04:59.078 - I can live without it. - BETH: All right. 1489 01:04:59.911 --> 01:05:00.980 All right. 1490 01:05:03.015 --> 01:05:04.179 She seems nice. 1491 01:05:04.181 --> 01:05:06.149 Stephanie, go home. 1492 01:05:06.151 --> 01:05:08.018 Emily had some Xanax in the medicine cabinet. 1493 01:05:08.020 --> 01:05:09.118 Take one. Take two. 1494 01:05:09.120 --> 01:05:11.620 Yeah. Maybe she has some heroin lying around. Hmm? 1495 01:05:11.622 --> 01:05:14.259 This is all just grief. Just stages of grief. 1496 01:05:15.326 --> 01:05:16.692 I'm sorry, you're right. 1497 01:05:16.694 --> 01:05:19.164 I'm so overwhelmed, and I... 1498 01:05:20.198 --> 01:05:21.533 (SIGHS) I'm sorry. 1499 01:05:26.504 --> 01:05:29.040 EMILY: <i>Oh, baby, you just need someone to love you.</i> 1500 01:05:30.475 --> 01:05:34.109 STEPHANIE: I have you. All you need is a good friend. 1501 01:05:34.111 --> 01:05:35.679 Come on, don't you miss sex? 1502 01:05:35.681 --> 01:05:38.949 Having a man fuck you on top of a washing machine? 1503 01:05:38.951 --> 01:05:41.451 (SIGHS) Barely remember what it's like. 1504 01:05:41.453 --> 01:05:42.551 Why are you such a masochist? 1505 01:05:42.553 --> 01:05:44.321 You could have a man in your bed any time you want. 1506 01:05:44.323 --> 01:05:46.355 I had a man, I ruined that, so... 1507 01:05:46.357 --> 01:05:47.556 What does that mean? 1508 01:05:47.558 --> 01:05:49.960 Come on, what does that mean? 1509 01:05:49.962 --> 01:05:52.228 If you can't tell me, you can't tell anyone. 1510 01:05:52.230 --> 01:05:53.232 I'm your best friend. 1511 01:05:54.433 --> 01:05:55.968 (INHALES DEEPLY) 1512 01:06:05.210 --> 01:06:07.213 (INAUDIBLE) 1513 01:06:13.618 --> 01:06:15.254 STEPHANIE: Let's go see Daddy. 1514 01:06:19.323 --> 01:06:20.589 DAVIS: <i>I just want the truth.</i> 1515 01:06:20.591 --> 01:06:21.991 STEPHANIE: <i>What are you talking about?</i> 1516 01:06:21.993 --> 01:06:24.493 About Miles and Chris. 1517 01:06:24.495 --> 01:06:27.196 Chris? My brother, Chris? 1518 01:06:27.198 --> 01:06:29.132 Yeah, your brother. 1519 01:06:29.134 --> 01:06:31.701 And you certainly don't act like it. 1520 01:06:31.703 --> 01:06:34.636 Sometimes it's more like you guys are lovers, right? 1521 01:06:34.638 --> 01:06:36.438 (GASPS) 1522 01:06:36.440 --> 01:06:38.375 That's disgusting. That's... 1523 01:06:38.377 --> 01:06:39.612 Is Miles mine or not? 1524 01:06:40.444 --> 01:06:42.478 (STAMMERS) 1525 01:06:42.480 --> 01:06:43.612 Oh, my God! 1526 01:06:43.614 --> 01:06:45.647 Are you listening to yourself? 1527 01:06:45.649 --> 01:06:47.216 You sound ridiculous. 1528 01:06:47.218 --> 01:06:48.653 Yeah. 1529 01:06:54.091 --> 01:06:55.424 (PLATES CRASHING) 1530 01:06:55.426 --> 01:06:58.228 STEPHANIE: <i>Davis! Davis!</i> 1531 01:06:58.230 --> 01:07:00.196 Where are you going? 1532 01:07:00.198 --> 01:07:01.663 Where are you going? Davis? 1533 01:07:01.665 --> 01:07:03.033 Steph, it's all right. Don't worry. 1534 01:07:03.035 --> 01:07:04.533 Just gonna go for a drive. 1535 01:07:04.535 --> 01:07:06.036 Have a little talk. Man to man. 1536 01:07:06.038 --> 01:07:07.039 No problem. 1537 01:07:16.047 --> 01:07:17.549 (ENGINE STARTING) 1538 01:07:27.725 --> 01:07:29.327 <i>It's my fault.</i> 1539 01:07:31.263 --> 01:07:33.129 I'm the reason they're both dead. 1540 01:07:33.131 --> 01:07:34.763 No. 1541 01:07:34.765 --> 01:07:36.434 Hey, don't do that. 1542 01:07:37.301 --> 01:07:39.234 People do terrible things 1543 01:07:39.236 --> 01:07:40.402 for their own fucked-up reasons. 1544 01:07:40.404 --> 01:07:41.471 That's on them, 1545 01:07:41.473 --> 01:07:42.475 - it's not on you. - Yeah. 1546 01:07:44.776 --> 01:07:46.111 I miss him. 1547 01:07:46.844 --> 01:07:48.214 Which one? 1548 01:07:50.348 --> 01:07:51.450 Both. 1549 01:07:52.716 --> 01:07:54.786 I'm lonely. 1550 01:07:57.388 --> 01:07:59.221 I think loneliness probably kills more people 1551 01:07:59.223 --> 01:08:00.258 than cancer. 1552 01:08:03.294 --> 01:08:05.263 Hey, come here. 1553 01:08:07.431 --> 01:08:08.667 Come here. 1554 01:08:24.648 --> 01:08:27.419 You're okay. Want to order pizza? 1555 01:08:32.357 --> 01:08:35.758 Oh, God. God, I'm so embarrassed. 1556 01:08:35.760 --> 01:08:40.696 Oh, because of that? No, hey. It's all good, baby. 1557 01:08:40.698 --> 01:08:42.367 It's all good. Just another Tuesday. 1558 01:09:00.852 --> 01:09:03.089 (LATIN HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1559 01:09:21.372 --> 01:09:22.774 (BUZZES) 1560 01:09:24.910 --> 01:09:26.312 DIANA: (ON INTERCOM) <i>Go away.</i> 1561 01:09:27.179 --> 01:09:28.647 Diana Hyland? 1562 01:09:29.648 --> 01:09:30.815 Did you paint this? 1563 01:09:43.595 --> 01:09:45.195 Where on Earth did you find it? 1564 01:09:45.197 --> 01:09:48.234 I should start by giving you some unfortunate news. 1565 01:09:49.267 --> 01:09:50.568 Emily's dead. 1566 01:09:51.303 --> 01:09:52.802 My condolences. 1567 01:09:52.804 --> 01:09:54.306 Who the fuck is Emily? 1568 01:09:54.939 --> 01:09:56.341 The girl in the painting. 1569 01:09:59.844 --> 01:10:01.276 Good. 1570 01:10:01.278 --> 01:10:02.579 Her name's not Emily. 1571 01:10:02.581 --> 01:10:03.582 Her name's Claudia. 1572 01:10:04.715 --> 01:10:07.249 Rest in peace, asshole. 1573 01:10:07.251 --> 01:10:09.418 So, not a pleasant memory for you, then? 1574 01:10:09.420 --> 01:10:12.254 No, opposite. She was amazing. 1575 01:10:12.256 --> 01:10:14.990 I mean, she was the best that I ever had. 1576 01:10:14.992 --> 01:10:16.558 I was selling paintings. 1577 01:10:16.560 --> 01:10:17.994 You know, it was the first time 1578 01:10:17.996 --> 01:10:19.995 in my career that I had any buzz. 1579 01:10:19.997 --> 01:10:21.897 She walked into my gallery. 1580 01:10:21.899 --> 01:10:24.601 A real fucking muse just right out of thin air. 1581 01:10:24.603 --> 01:10:25.802 What happened? 1582 01:10:25.804 --> 01:10:27.306 She was all I could paint. 1583 01:10:28.840 --> 01:10:31.007 I memorized every inch of her body. 1584 01:10:31.009 --> 01:10:32.674 <i>My dealer fucking hated it.</i> 1585 01:10:32.676 --> 01:10:34.543 <i>And the art critics fucking hated it.</i> 1586 01:10:34.545 --> 01:10:37.879 <i>They called me a knockoff dyke Mapplethorpe.</i> 1587 01:10:37.881 --> 01:10:40.917 <i>Anyway, I blew my whole career painting that con artist.</i> 1588 01:10:40.919 --> 01:10:43.352 Now all I paint are these goddamn knives, 1589 01:10:43.354 --> 01:10:45.655 which are pretty good, but nobody wants to buy this shit. 1590 01:10:45.657 --> 01:10:48.894 Oh, what? They're so good. People are just jealous. 1591 01:10:52.429 --> 01:10:54.563 I haven't had a drink in 42 days. 1592 01:10:54.565 --> 01:10:55.664 Oh, don't... 1593 01:10:55.666 --> 01:10:57.533 Might as well celebrate. 1594 01:10:57.535 --> 01:10:59.738 Mmm, well, cheers. 1595 01:11:02.773 --> 01:11:05.210 I gave her my heart and I gave her my soul. 1596 01:11:06.278 --> 01:11:09.779 I paid for her to go to college. 1597 01:11:09.781 --> 01:11:11.380 I paid off her debts. 1598 01:11:11.382 --> 01:11:13.283 Did you ever see any heroin use? 1599 01:11:13.285 --> 01:11:15.485 No. No way, her? 1600 01:11:15.487 --> 01:11:16.822 No, she didn't touch it. 1601 01:11:17.389 --> 01:11:18.521 Shit. 1602 01:11:18.523 --> 01:11:21.990 She never let me paint her face except for this one. 1603 01:11:21.992 --> 01:11:25.027 I've never seen such a beautiful girl 1604 01:11:25.029 --> 01:11:26.663 wanna be so invisible 1605 01:11:26.665 --> 01:11:28.931 or just completely vanish. 1606 01:11:28.933 --> 01:11:30.466 But you know what, it takes 1607 01:11:30.468 --> 01:11:31.968 money to vanish. 1608 01:11:31.970 --> 01:11:35.407 And so she took everything that she could from me. 1609 01:11:37.608 --> 01:11:38.977 You know how I would paint you? 1610 01:11:41.712 --> 01:11:43.579 Beatific. 1611 01:11:43.581 --> 01:11:44.950 Like a fucking saint. 1612 01:11:45.750 --> 01:11:46.986 I get that a lot. 1613 01:11:48.353 --> 01:11:50.322 You should embrace it. People love saints. 1614 01:11:51.422 --> 01:11:53.524 Yeah. After they're dead. 1615 01:11:55.460 --> 01:11:57.627 Okay. What do you know about her? How did she die? 1616 01:11:57.629 --> 01:11:58.697 In a lake. 1617 01:11:59.797 --> 01:12:00.898 On heroin. 1618 01:12:04.068 --> 01:12:06.602 Well, you don't believe that or you wouldn't be here. 1619 01:12:06.604 --> 01:12:09.341 She didn't ever mention Michigan, did she? 1620 01:12:09.707 --> 01:12:10.709 (SCOFFS) 1621 01:12:11.475 --> 01:12:12.478 (SNIFFS) 1622 01:12:16.814 --> 01:12:19.716 That is the only thing that she ever left here. 1623 01:12:19.718 --> 01:12:21.886 She said she had it since she was a kid. 1624 01:12:24.822 --> 01:12:25.887 I warn you, 1625 01:12:25.889 --> 01:12:27.856 you go poking around in her past, 1626 01:12:27.858 --> 01:12:30.727 you're gonna find some shit that is terrifying. 1627 01:12:30.729 --> 01:12:33.499 She was not a normal person like you or me. 1628 01:12:34.366 --> 01:12:35.832 Sean, it's Stephanie... 1629 01:12:35.834 --> 01:12:37.633 I thought about what you said. 1630 01:12:37.635 --> 01:12:40.503 You're right. These are just stages of grief. 1631 01:12:40.505 --> 01:12:42.838 <i>This experience has been so stressful for both of us,</i> 1632 01:12:42.840 --> 01:12:44.440 <i>I'm gonna take a couple of days to myself.</i> 1633 01:12:44.442 --> 01:12:45.807 <i>I'll have Sona pick up the boys,</i> 1634 01:12:45.809 --> 01:12:47.075 <i>and they can stay at her house tonight.</i> 1635 01:12:47.077 --> 01:12:49.011 <i>You should take some time, too.</i> 1636 01:12:49.013 --> 01:12:50.445 <i>There's ham stew in the freezer.</i> 1637 01:12:50.447 --> 01:12:51.614 <i>Five minutes in the microwave.</i> 1638 01:12:51.616 --> 01:12:52.618 <i>Lots of love.</i> 1639 01:12:53.417 --> 01:12:54.851 (PEOPLE LAUGHING) 1640 01:12:54.853 --> 01:12:56.718 MARYANNE: Yeah, we've been saving young souls 1641 01:12:56.720 --> 01:12:58.420 going on 50 years now. 1642 01:12:58.422 --> 01:13:00.056 Not Bobby and me personally. 1643 01:13:00.058 --> 01:13:01.923 Well, it seems just perfect! 1644 01:13:01.925 --> 01:13:03.526 And my son's practically a porpoise, 1645 01:13:03.528 --> 01:13:05.695 so I know he's gonna love swimming in that pond. 1646 01:13:05.697 --> 01:13:06.795 That's Squaw Lake! 1647 01:13:06.797 --> 01:13:09.598 The kids all joke that it's holy water. 1648 01:13:09.600 --> 01:13:11.033 (LAUGHS) Any fish you pull out of there 1649 01:13:11.035 --> 01:13:12.602 is guaranteed to feed a multitude. 1650 01:13:12.604 --> 01:13:14.469 - (ALL LAUGHING) - Oh! Oh. That's so funny. 1651 01:13:14.471 --> 01:13:15.704 Yeah. 1652 01:13:15.706 --> 01:13:19.441 Um... Have you guys got any old photo albums 1653 01:13:19.443 --> 01:13:21.543 or a yearbook I could look at? 1654 01:13:21.545 --> 01:13:23.044 I always feel like there's no better review 1655 01:13:23.046 --> 01:13:24.946 of a place than the faces of the campers. 1656 01:13:24.948 --> 01:13:27.450 Oh, heck, yeah. We got a ton of 'em down in the basement. 1657 01:13:27.452 --> 01:13:28.787 You'll see nothing but smiles. 1658 01:13:36.995 --> 01:13:38.464 (SIGHS) 1659 01:13:52.544 --> 01:13:53.979 Hope and Faith. 1660 01:13:56.747 --> 01:14:00.615 STEPHANIE: <i>Hi. I'm looking for the McLanden Foundation.</i> 1661 01:14:00.617 --> 01:14:02.618 <i>Is this Margaret McLanden?</i> 1662 01:14:02.620 --> 01:14:03.820 MARGARET: <i>Who's this?</i> 1663 01:14:03.822 --> 01:14:06.955 Yeah. Hi, there. My name's Maryanne Chelkowsky. 1664 01:14:06.957 --> 01:14:09.525 I'm the director of the Squaw Lake Bible Camp. 1665 01:14:09.527 --> 01:14:10.560 <i>What do you want?</i> 1666 01:14:10.562 --> 01:14:13.228 Well, we are putting together the 50th anniversary 1667 01:14:13.230 --> 01:14:14.830 edition of our camp gazette. 1668 01:14:14.832 --> 01:14:16.798 We're trying to track down some star alumni. 1669 01:14:16.800 --> 01:14:20.168 Are you any relation to Hope and Faith McLanden? 1670 01:14:20.170 --> 01:14:22.504 - BRUCE: <i>Hello. - Bruce, it's that camp.</i> 1671 01:14:22.506 --> 01:14:24.874 <i>The girls must have done something again and God...</i> 1672 01:14:24.876 --> 01:14:26.142 BRUCE: <i>Girls are long gone, Mrs. M.</i> 1673 01:14:26.144 --> 01:14:27.209 <i>You just go on back to your chair.</i> 1674 01:14:27.211 --> 01:14:28.878 MARGARET: <i>But it's filthy there, Bruce.</i> 1675 01:14:28.880 --> 01:14:29.978 <i>I've asked you a...</i> 1676 01:14:29.980 --> 01:14:31.450 - (LINE DISCONNECTS) - Gotcha. 1677 01:14:32.617 --> 01:14:34.486 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 1678 01:15:00.944 --> 01:15:02.180 (DOOR OPENS) 1679 01:15:07.184 --> 01:15:09.020 - (TRUCK DOOR CLOSES) - (ENGINE STARTING) 1680 01:15:14.826 --> 01:15:16.127 (SIGHS) Take your time, Bruce. 1681 01:15:18.529 --> 01:15:19.697 (THUNDER CONTINUES RUMBLING) 1682 01:15:29.239 --> 01:15:30.475 (KNOCKS ON DOOR) 1683 01:15:32.743 --> 01:15:33.812 (DOOR OPENS) 1684 01:15:38.315 --> 01:15:39.751 Mrs. McLanden? 1685 01:15:41.586 --> 01:15:43.522 Hi, I'm Gloria from the cleaning service. 1686 01:15:43.888 --> 01:15:44.986 Who? 1687 01:15:44.988 --> 01:15:45.887 Didn't Bruce tell you? 1688 01:15:45.889 --> 01:15:47.188 I'm supposed to clean the entire place 1689 01:15:47.190 --> 01:15:48.257 until you could eat 1690 01:15:48.259 --> 01:15:50.191 a four-course meal off the floor. 1691 01:15:50.193 --> 01:15:51.627 Did I get the date... 1692 01:15:51.629 --> 01:15:53.131 Shoot! 1693 01:15:53.730 --> 01:15:55.000 (DOOR OPENS) 1694 01:15:56.568 --> 01:15:58.537 Start in my upstairs bathroom. 1695 01:16:04.309 --> 01:16:06.309 (WHISPERS) It's not lying if I'm actually cleaning. 1696 01:16:23.995 --> 01:16:25.127 MARGARET: Bruce! 1697 01:16:25.129 --> 01:16:26.532 The fire's dying! 1698 01:16:28.032 --> 01:16:29.201 Bruce! 1699 01:16:41.144 --> 01:16:43.713 - (MUSIC PLAYING) - (CAT MEOWS) 1700 01:16:43.715 --> 01:16:45.780 I couldn't help noticing that 1701 01:16:45.782 --> 01:16:47.318 lovely picture of your daughters. 1702 01:16:49.720 --> 01:16:51.087 Where's Bruce? 1703 01:16:51.089 --> 01:16:52.320 - Bruce! - Oh, um... 1704 01:16:52.322 --> 01:16:54.625 Bruce had to go out. Um... 1705 01:16:54.992 --> 01:16:56.160 So, 1706 01:16:57.095 --> 01:16:58.393 your daughter, Faith... 1707 01:16:58.395 --> 01:16:59.995 She had some trouble, I gather? 1708 01:16:59.997 --> 01:17:01.163 Troubles! 1709 01:17:01.165 --> 01:17:02.865 (SCOFFS) 1710 01:17:02.867 --> 01:17:04.937 Troubles would've been a vacation. 1711 01:17:06.371 --> 01:17:09.271 That child came straight from hell. 1712 01:17:09.273 --> 01:17:12.107 That's a very strong statement for a mother. 1713 01:17:12.109 --> 01:17:13.676 Are you a mother? 1714 01:17:13.678 --> 01:17:17.112 Yes. I love every minute of it. 1715 01:17:17.114 --> 01:17:18.880 Aww. (CHUCKLES) 1716 01:17:18.882 --> 01:17:20.122 Then you must have brain damage. 1717 01:17:20.952 --> 01:17:22.817 It's a thankless business. 1718 01:17:22.819 --> 01:17:25.954 And some children are just born rotten. 1719 01:17:25.956 --> 01:17:29.191 They don't need a parent. They need an exorcist. 1720 01:17:29.193 --> 01:17:31.296 My husband understood that. 1721 01:17:33.764 --> 01:17:35.431 Now, wait. Don't tell Bruce! 1722 01:17:35.433 --> 01:17:37.400 - No. - Bingo! (LAUGHS) 1723 01:17:37.402 --> 01:17:40.238 It's unseemly, the way that man polices me. 1724 01:17:41.072 --> 01:17:42.437 Would you like some sherry? 1725 01:17:42.439 --> 01:17:44.373 Oh, no, thank you. You're very sweet. 1726 01:17:44.375 --> 01:17:46.676 Wait, that's... (SNIFFS) 1727 01:17:46.678 --> 01:17:49.411 That's not sherry. That's the gin. 1728 01:17:49.413 --> 01:17:50.745 Where's the sherry? 1729 01:17:50.747 --> 01:17:52.448 Must be behind the Sylvia Plath. 1730 01:17:52.450 --> 01:17:54.118 What ever happened to Faith? 1731 01:17:54.952 --> 01:17:56.317 Oh, everything. Everything. 1732 01:17:56.319 --> 01:17:59.989 We spent so much money on her rehab. 1733 01:17:59.991 --> 01:18:02.290 Hope tried to help take care of her 1734 01:18:02.292 --> 01:18:05.727 and get her off that stuff. 1735 01:18:05.729 --> 01:18:08.897 Of course, Hope's a born liar with terrible posture. 1736 01:18:08.899 --> 01:18:10.231 Uh, Mrs. McLanden? 1737 01:18:10.233 --> 01:18:13.804 Do you know the person in this photograph? 1738 01:18:16.707 --> 01:18:19.275 That's Faith. That's Faith! 1739 01:18:19.277 --> 01:18:21.142 Now, why're you... Did she send you? 1740 01:18:21.144 --> 01:18:23.145 - No, I'm not even sure... - Are you the police? 1741 01:18:23.147 --> 01:18:24.346 No, I'm just ask... 1742 01:18:24.348 --> 01:18:26.082 I have told you people a thousand times. 1743 01:18:26.084 --> 01:18:29.785 My memory is not good anymore. It will not stand up in court. 1744 01:18:29.787 --> 01:18:31.052 The night of that fire, 1745 01:18:31.054 --> 01:18:33.054 my husband and I were estranged. 1746 01:18:33.056 --> 01:18:34.757 We lived in separate wings of the house. 1747 01:18:34.759 --> 01:18:37.493 The fire that burned down the west wing? 1748 01:18:37.495 --> 01:18:39.163 Are you an insurance agent? 1749 01:18:39.996 --> 01:18:41.230 Yes. 1750 01:18:41.232 --> 01:18:42.932 Oh! (LAUGHS) 1751 01:18:42.934 --> 01:18:45.935 Oh, good! Oh, good, good. 1752 01:18:45.937 --> 01:18:47.168 Oh, Bruce and I have been waiting 1753 01:18:47.170 --> 01:18:48.737 for the insurance money. 1754 01:18:48.739 --> 01:18:52.208 Of course, you assholes had that clause about arson. 1755 01:18:52.210 --> 01:18:54.477 - Arson. Yeah. - Vultures. 1756 01:18:54.479 --> 01:18:56.411 Here's to being house poor! 1757 01:18:56.413 --> 01:18:58.748 You ain't supposed to be drinking, Mrs. M. 1758 01:18:58.750 --> 01:19:00.015 - Who are you? - Well, uh... 1759 01:19:00.017 --> 01:19:03.017 Thank you so much for your time, Mrs. McLanden. 1760 01:19:03.019 --> 01:19:05.521 I will get you that faux Givenchy suit in ivory 1761 01:19:05.523 --> 01:19:07.890 and the scarf in taupe. 1762 01:19:07.892 --> 01:19:10.392 I will put a rush on it! Thank you for your order! 1763 01:19:10.394 --> 01:19:12.197 - Shit. Okay. - (ENGINE STARTING) 1764 01:19:33.084 --> 01:19:34.118 (GASPS) 1765 01:19:49.233 --> 01:19:50.836 Where do you think you're going? 1766 01:19:51.536 --> 01:19:52.834 Uh... 1767 01:19:52.836 --> 01:19:55.139 I wanted to order the navy blazer. 1768 01:19:56.206 --> 01:19:57.808 Extra large. 1769 01:19:58.341 --> 01:19:59.344 Great. 1770 01:20:02.479 --> 01:20:04.181 (SIGHS) 1771 01:20:05.183 --> 01:20:06.347 Hello. 1772 01:20:06.349 --> 01:20:07.816 What do you want, cupcake? 1773 01:20:07.818 --> 01:20:10.119 I'm looking for all the Wayne County 1774 01:20:10.121 --> 01:20:11.219 arson-related news items 1775 01:20:11.221 --> 01:20:12.456 for the last 20 years. 1776 01:20:22.099 --> 01:20:24.165 <i>Hi, moms, Stephanie here.</i> 1777 01:20:24.167 --> 01:20:26.502 <i>I'm coming to you from Michigan.</i> 1778 01:20:26.504 --> 01:20:29.073 <i>Special on-the-road edition.</i> 1779 01:20:31.209 --> 01:20:32.908 <i>As many of you know,</i> 1780 01:20:32.910 --> 01:20:34.410 <i>I was struggling to find closure</i> 1781 01:20:34.412 --> 01:20:36.579 <i>surrounding the death of my best friend.</i> 1782 01:20:36.581 --> 01:20:39.315 <i>So I drove up to the lake where she drowned</i> 1783 01:20:39.317 --> 01:20:43.218 <i>to see if I could dredge something up.</i> 1784 01:20:43.220 --> 01:20:44.619 Oh, shit. 1785 01:20:44.621 --> 01:20:45.487 <i>Well, it turns out</i> 1786 01:20:45.489 --> 01:20:48.057 this is the site of many a canoe race 1787 01:20:48.059 --> 01:20:49.991 at the Squaw Lake Bible Camp. 1788 01:20:49.993 --> 01:20:52.360 <i>I had to dig through a bunch of camp journals,</i> 1789 01:20:52.362 --> 01:20:56.164 <i>and I found a photo of Emily,</i> 1790 01:20:56.166 --> 01:20:58.467 <i>whose middle name is Claudia.</i> 1791 01:20:58.469 --> 01:20:59.935 <i>Not pretty I didn't know that.</i> 1792 01:20:59.937 --> 01:21:03.338 You crazy fucking bitch. 1793 01:21:03.340 --> 01:21:05.540 It's like looking at an angel, isn't it, moms? 1794 01:21:05.542 --> 01:21:07.308 Brotherfucker. 1795 01:21:07.310 --> 01:21:09.344 And it gave me the closure I needed. 1796 01:21:09.346 --> 01:21:11.614 <i>I feel closer to Emily than I've ever felt.</i> 1797 01:21:11.616 --> 01:21:13.548 <i>Almost like a twin.</i> 1798 01:21:13.550 --> 01:21:15.319 Emily, wherever you are, 1799 01:21:17.153 --> 01:21:19.825 I hope that you're listening. 1800 01:21:20.957 --> 01:21:22.426 And you gotta have faith. 1801 01:21:24.127 --> 01:21:26.564 - Brotherfucker! - (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1802 01:21:28.299 --> 01:21:29.401 (GRUNTS) 1803 01:21:36.674 --> 01:21:38.374 <i>♪ Things that we need</i> 1804 01:21:38.376 --> 01:21:39.975 <i>♪ Money, clothes, Weed, indeed</i> 1805 01:21:39.977 --> 01:21:42.244 <i>♪ Hats, food, booze Essentials, credentials</i> 1806 01:21:42.246 --> 01:21:44.612 <i>♪ Code of the streets Owners who creep</i> 1807 01:21:44.614 --> 01:21:47.048 <i>♪ Slow when you sleep Holdin' the heat</i> 1808 01:21:47.050 --> 01:21:49.384 <i>♪ Put holes in your jeep Respect the streets</i> 1809 01:21:49.386 --> 01:21:52.857 <i>♪ It's the L-I-L-F-A-M-E ♪</i> 1810 01:21:53.556 --> 01:21:55.557 Mom's home! 1811 01:21:55.559 --> 01:21:57.459 Oh, Smoochie-smooch? 1812 01:21:57.461 --> 01:21:58.393 (GASPS) Oh, my goodness! 1813 01:21:58.395 --> 01:22:00.232 - Smooch, I missed you so much! - (KISSES) 1814 01:22:00.931 --> 01:22:01.897 Where were you? 1815 01:22:01.899 --> 01:22:04.365 And why did we have to sleep at Hector's house? 1816 01:22:04.367 --> 01:22:05.601 He pees the bed! 1817 01:22:05.603 --> 01:22:07.602 Oh! Hector's the worst! 1818 01:22:07.604 --> 01:22:09.124 They could've stayed with me, you know. 1819 01:22:10.675 --> 01:22:12.540 I thought we all needed a breather. 1820 01:22:12.542 --> 01:22:14.211 Now I feel like a million bucks. 1821 01:22:14.612 --> 01:22:16.047 Maybe even four. 1822 01:22:16.714 --> 01:22:18.416 (DIALING CELL PHONE) 1823 01:22:19.250 --> 01:22:21.150 Hi, my name's Beth. 1824 01:22:21.152 --> 01:22:23.218 I'm calling on behalf of my boss, Sean Townsend, 1825 01:22:23.220 --> 01:22:25.286 about his wife, Emily Nelson's policy. 1826 01:22:25.288 --> 01:22:31.160 The number is CT7602258001. 1827 01:22:31.162 --> 01:22:32.227 Can you tell me the name of the agent 1828 01:22:32.229 --> 01:22:33.427 who handles that account, please? 1829 01:22:33.429 --> 01:22:35.563 <i>Dear Miss Prager, my name is Bruce Hargrave.</i> 1830 01:22:35.565 --> 01:22:37.298 <i>I'm writing to you about a case you're handling</i> 1831 01:22:37.300 --> 01:22:39.368 <i>for Emily Nelson, recently deceased.</i> 1832 01:22:39.370 --> 01:22:40.436 <i>I have been the caretaker</i> 1833 01:22:40.438 --> 01:22:42.303 <i>of her family estate for many years.</i> 1834 01:22:42.305 --> 01:22:43.571 <i>What I have to say will sound crazy,</i> 1835 01:22:43.573 --> 01:22:45.740 <i>but years ago, my employer died in a house fire.</i> 1836 01:22:45.742 --> 01:22:47.575 <i>His teen daughters, Hope and Faith McLanden,</i> 1837 01:22:47.577 --> 01:22:49.110 <i>disappeared without a trace.</i> 1838 01:22:49.112 --> 01:22:50.212 <i>I'm attaching an old photo.</i> 1839 01:22:50.214 --> 01:22:51.612 Hi, this is Sean Townsend. 1840 01:22:51.614 --> 01:22:53.214 I was meant to meet Billy Kent for lunch. 1841 01:22:54.719 --> 01:22:56.250 What do you mean? 1842 01:22:56.252 --> 01:22:58.489 You guys called two days ago to organize this. 1843 01:23:02.760 --> 01:23:04.426 No, never mind. 1844 01:23:04.428 --> 01:23:05.563 I'll call him back. 1845 01:23:06.363 --> 01:23:07.364 Boo. 1846 01:23:13.037 --> 01:23:14.268 Oh, come on, you dumb shit. 1847 01:23:14.270 --> 01:23:15.404 We've spent every anniversary here. 1848 01:23:15.406 --> 01:23:16.726 How could you not put it together? 1849 01:23:17.241 --> 01:23:18.707 Emily, why? 1850 01:23:18.709 --> 01:23:20.441 I have four million reasons why. 1851 01:23:20.443 --> 01:23:22.276 How could you do this to Nicky? 1852 01:23:22.278 --> 01:23:23.579 I did this for Nicky. 1853 01:23:23.581 --> 01:23:25.780 I hated that job. I never got to see him. 1854 01:23:25.782 --> 01:23:27.516 It's not like we could live off your faculty buffet 1855 01:23:27.518 --> 01:23:29.551 the rest of our lives, could we? 1856 01:23:29.553 --> 01:23:31.320 I grieved your death. 1857 01:23:31.322 --> 01:23:33.321 I understand. 1858 01:23:33.323 --> 01:23:35.223 You're not alone. They say that 1859 01:23:35.225 --> 01:23:37.392 90% of people who lose their spouse 1860 01:23:37.394 --> 01:23:39.494 end up sleeping with their spouse's best friend 1861 01:23:39.496 --> 01:23:41.096 after their funeral, actually. 1862 01:23:41.098 --> 01:23:42.063 Really? 1863 01:23:42.065 --> 01:23:45.401 No, I just made that up, you fucking dick. 1864 01:23:45.403 --> 01:23:47.035 That's how you grieve? 1865 01:23:47.037 --> 01:23:48.736 Balls deep in my best friend? 1866 01:23:48.738 --> 01:23:49.771 You could've told me something. 1867 01:23:49.773 --> 01:23:52.074 Except you can't keep a secret, even in the dark. 1868 01:23:52.076 --> 01:23:54.412 - Anything. - You almost ruined everything. 1869 01:23:56.380 --> 01:23:58.079 I had to lay low until the insurance money 1870 01:23:58.081 --> 01:23:59.015 came through. 1871 01:23:59.017 --> 01:24:01.784 And so why didn't you stay low? Hmm? 1872 01:24:01.786 --> 01:24:04.186 Instead, you terrorized our son. 1873 01:24:04.188 --> 01:24:05.154 I didn't terrorize him. 1874 01:24:05.156 --> 01:24:06.554 You made me think that he had gone insane 1875 01:24:06.556 --> 01:24:08.423 as well as Stephanie. 1876 01:24:08.425 --> 01:24:10.325 I missed him too much. 1877 01:24:10.327 --> 01:24:11.596 He's my little dude. 1878 01:24:12.696 --> 01:24:14.265 You know how much I love that kid. 1879 01:24:15.433 --> 01:24:16.498 (EMILY SIGHS) 1880 01:24:16.500 --> 01:24:18.133 Well, the clock is ticking now. 1881 01:24:18.135 --> 01:24:20.334 Nancy Drew knows too much. 1882 01:24:20.336 --> 01:24:22.303 If she fucks up my insurance money coming through, 1883 01:24:22.305 --> 01:24:23.771 I'm taking you down with me. 1884 01:24:23.773 --> 01:24:25.374 You're taking me down with you? 1885 01:24:25.376 --> 01:24:26.808 Well, of course, this was all your plan. 1886 01:24:26.810 --> 01:24:28.243 My plan? 1887 01:24:28.245 --> 01:24:29.610 I had nothing to do with it... 1888 01:24:29.612 --> 01:24:30.812 Why are you playing dumb now? 1889 01:24:30.814 --> 01:24:32.481 ...you twisted fucking psycho. 1890 01:24:32.483 --> 01:24:33.923 - I don't know where... - (GUN COCKS) 1891 01:24:36.487 --> 01:24:38.567 What were you saying about me being a fucking psycho? 1892 01:24:39.657 --> 01:24:41.222 Do you love her? 1893 01:24:41.224 --> 01:24:43.392 No. It was just sex. 1894 01:24:43.394 --> 01:24:46.164 Did you think of me when you were fucking her? 1895 01:24:46.429 --> 01:24:47.431 Yes. 1896 01:24:50.267 --> 01:24:51.866 Do you love me or not, baby? 1897 01:24:51.868 --> 01:24:53.569 Of course I do. 1898 01:24:53.571 --> 01:24:55.337 She doesn't mean a thing to me. 1899 01:24:55.339 --> 01:24:56.571 Good. 1900 01:24:56.573 --> 01:24:58.673 (GUN CLICKS) 1901 01:24:58.675 --> 01:25:00.508 - (BREATHING HEAVILY) - Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 1902 01:25:00.510 --> 01:25:01.709 I forgot to load it. 1903 01:25:01.711 --> 01:25:03.378 Fuck. Oh, God. 1904 01:25:03.380 --> 01:25:05.481 Can you imagine if I would've, though? 1905 01:25:05.483 --> 01:25:06.647 What a mess. 1906 01:25:06.649 --> 01:25:08.484 Emily, you're crazy. 1907 01:25:08.486 --> 01:25:10.819 Hey, it's pretty simple. You know? 1908 01:25:10.821 --> 01:25:12.724 It's your choice. Her or me? 1909 01:25:13.590 --> 01:25:14.792 It's not that hard. 1910 01:25:16.727 --> 01:25:17.729 Hey. 1911 01:25:18.295 --> 01:25:19.628 Stop it. 1912 01:25:19.630 --> 01:25:21.762 You love this. 1913 01:25:21.764 --> 01:25:24.134 Meet me in the bathroom in 20 seconds. 1914 01:25:26.136 --> 01:25:27.404 Knock twice. 1915 01:25:37.214 --> 01:25:39.350 (WOMEN CHATTERING) 1916 01:25:41.184 --> 01:25:42.250 STEPHANIE: There he is now. 1917 01:25:42.252 --> 01:25:45.620 Mr. Townsend, Isabel Prager, Addison First Insurance. 1918 01:25:45.622 --> 01:25:47.321 I'm investigating the death benefit claim 1919 01:25:47.323 --> 01:25:48.593 for your late wife. 1920 01:25:52.196 --> 01:25:53.198 Sean, 1921 01:25:54.398 --> 01:25:56.301 did you know that Emily had a twin? 1922 01:25:58.935 --> 01:26:00.468 No, but... 1923 01:26:00.470 --> 01:26:02.271 Well, I hate to even say this, 1924 01:26:02.273 --> 01:26:03.739 but it means the body in the lake 1925 01:26:03.741 --> 01:26:05.673 could be this sister. 1926 01:26:05.675 --> 01:26:07.375 ISABEL: It could explain the DNA match. 1927 01:26:07.377 --> 01:26:08.477 And if that's the case, 1928 01:26:08.479 --> 01:26:10.715 then where is Emily? 1929 01:26:15.318 --> 01:26:17.953 If my wife was still alive, she'd come home. 1930 01:26:17.955 --> 01:26:19.157 She'd wanna see her son. 1931 01:26:21.692 --> 01:26:22.958 I'm not a cop, 1932 01:26:22.960 --> 01:26:24.793 and I'm definitely no therapist, 1933 01:26:24.795 --> 01:26:27.295 I'm just an insurance guy. (INHALES) 1934 01:26:27.297 --> 01:26:30.332 But this is an incredibly interesting case. 1935 01:26:30.334 --> 01:26:32.567 This is just bananas, isn't it? 1936 01:26:32.569 --> 01:26:34.402 - Yeah. - ISABEL: I will say, 1937 01:26:34.404 --> 01:26:35.803 it's unusual 1938 01:26:35.805 --> 01:26:37.606 to live with someone as husband and wife 1939 01:26:37.608 --> 01:26:38.874 and not know that they have a twin. 1940 01:26:38.876 --> 01:26:40.842 She was a very private person. 1941 01:26:40.844 --> 01:26:43.945 Well, hey, we all have our secrets. 1942 01:26:43.947 --> 01:26:46.280 - (LAUGHS) - (CHUCKLES) 1943 01:26:46.282 --> 01:26:47.749 But, as I'm sure you can understand, 1944 01:26:47.751 --> 01:26:49.284 with a payment of this size, 1945 01:26:49.286 --> 01:26:51.352 we'll have to continue this claims investigation. 1946 01:26:51.354 --> 01:26:52.454 Of course. 1947 01:26:52.456 --> 01:26:54.556 And, by law, give all our findings 1948 01:26:54.558 --> 01:26:55.757 to the authorities. 1949 01:26:55.759 --> 01:26:57.526 Of course, anything you need. 1950 01:26:57.528 --> 01:26:59.660 I just hope that my wife is still alive. 1951 01:26:59.662 --> 01:27:00.665 I want her back. 1952 01:27:04.835 --> 01:27:06.468 Okey-dokey, then. 1953 01:27:06.470 --> 01:27:08.469 Obviously, if you do hear from her... 1954 01:27:08.471 --> 01:27:10.239 - You'll be the first to know. - Thank you so much! 1955 01:27:10.241 --> 01:27:12.277 Okay, thank you. Thanks for the coffee. 1956 01:27:13.711 --> 01:27:14.810 Bye-bye. 1957 01:27:14.812 --> 01:27:16.212 - Thank you so much again. - Thanks. 1958 01:27:17.413 --> 01:27:18.780 You knew that she had a twin. 1959 01:27:18.782 --> 01:27:19.981 Did I? 1960 01:27:19.983 --> 01:27:21.717 Why didn't you? 1961 01:27:21.719 --> 01:27:22.985 You knew and you didn't tell me. 1962 01:27:22.987 --> 01:27:24.189 Sean, (SCOFFS) 1963 01:27:24.955 --> 01:27:26.457 you sound crazy. 1964 01:27:27.890 --> 01:27:29.227 Take a Xanax. 1965 01:27:29.792 --> 01:27:31.692 Take two. 1966 01:27:31.694 --> 01:27:33.561 <i>Hi, moms. Stephanie here.</i> 1967 01:27:33.563 --> 01:27:35.998 <i>Today, we're talking about tombstone tributes.</i> 1968 01:27:36.000 --> 01:27:37.598 <i>I want to thank Helen from Missoula, Montana,</i> 1969 01:27:37.600 --> 01:27:38.734 <i>for the suggestions.</i> 1970 01:27:38.736 --> 01:27:40.901 <i>For thinking outside the box.</i> 1971 01:27:40.903 --> 01:27:44.505 <i>You know, it doesn't have to just be flowers anymore.</i> 1972 01:27:44.507 --> 01:27:49.910 <i>I think any item that sparks a fond memory is perfect.</i> 1973 01:27:49.912 --> 01:27:52.580 <i>Emily's favorite treat was a dry gin martini</i> 1974 01:27:52.582 --> 01:27:53.848 <i>in the late afternoon.</i> 1975 01:27:53.850 --> 01:27:56.852 <i>I'm gonna make a couple just like Emily used to.</i> 1976 01:27:56.854 --> 01:27:59.487 <i>Frozen gin, frozen glass,</i> 1977 01:27:59.489 --> 01:28:01.390 <i>generous twist.</i> 1978 01:28:01.392 --> 01:28:03.327 <i>I'm gonna head out there a little later today.</i> 1979 01:28:04.428 --> 01:28:05.897 <i>Have a toast on her grave.</i> 1980 01:28:10.533 --> 01:28:12.437 Nice, big twist. I taught you well. 1981 01:28:13.336 --> 01:28:14.772 Student's become the master. 1982 01:28:15.438 --> 01:28:17.474 Ooh, wisdom. 1983 01:28:18.809 --> 01:28:20.741 Hey, give me that. 1984 01:28:20.743 --> 01:28:22.311 I don't know what tricks you have 1985 01:28:22.313 --> 01:28:24.413 up those new sleeves of yours. 1986 01:28:24.415 --> 01:28:26.048 You think I poisoned both drinks? 1987 01:28:26.050 --> 01:28:27.385 That's not my style. 1988 01:28:27.951 --> 01:28:29.654 I don't even eat gluten. 1989 01:28:32.790 --> 01:28:34.392 - Want another? - Please. 1990 01:28:35.893 --> 01:28:37.058 First, tell me why 1991 01:28:37.060 --> 01:28:38.727 you killed your father and sister. 1992 01:28:38.729 --> 01:28:40.329 Okay, why don't we first talk about 1993 01:28:40.331 --> 01:28:41.696 your son's real father? 1994 01:28:41.698 --> 01:28:44.499 Oh! Emily, I hold all the cards here. 1995 01:28:44.501 --> 01:28:45.967 I wanna know about your twin, Faith. 1996 01:28:45.969 --> 01:28:47.102 I'm not a twin. 1997 01:28:47.104 --> 01:28:48.936 Great, I know that you are. 1998 01:28:48.938 --> 01:28:50.605 We were triplets. 1999 01:28:50.607 --> 01:28:52.874 Faith, Hope, and Charity. Charity was stillborn. 2000 01:28:52.876 --> 01:28:53.975 Mom thought we offed her 2001 01:28:53.977 --> 01:28:55.043 - in the womb. - Hmm. 2002 01:28:55.045 --> 01:28:56.977 Dad believed her. 2003 01:28:56.979 --> 01:28:58.882 She's quite a woman, your mother. 2004 01:29:00.017 --> 01:29:01.650 I had a nice afternoon with Mags. 2005 01:29:01.652 --> 01:29:03.517 You met my mother? 2006 01:29:03.519 --> 01:29:05.619 She likes her martinis even stronger than yours. 2007 01:29:05.621 --> 01:29:08.356 We had a little walk down memory lane. 2008 01:29:08.358 --> 01:29:10.092 She's a cold woman, Em. 2009 01:29:10.094 --> 01:29:12.994 Bet you couldn't do anything right in her eyes. 2010 01:29:12.996 --> 01:29:15.364 It was probably Faith's idea to set the fire. 2011 01:29:15.366 --> 01:29:17.031 But then, all the bad ideas were Faith's, weren't they? 2012 01:29:17.033 --> 01:29:19.066 - You don't know anything. - Sure I do. 2013 01:29:19.068 --> 01:29:20.701 And I get it. 2014 01:29:20.703 --> 01:29:22.570 <i>You're 16.</i> 2015 01:29:22.572 --> 01:29:25.075 <i>It's that age where you feel so trapped.</i> 2016 01:29:26.676 --> 01:29:29.413 <i>Then, if your mother always had the biting comment...</i> 2017 01:29:35.752 --> 01:29:37.785 - Faith, it's over. Let's go! - Dad! Dad! 2018 01:29:37.787 --> 01:29:40.021 - Dad! Don't touch me! - It's not my fault! 2019 01:29:40.023 --> 01:29:42.124 <i>...I'm guessing your father was more direct.</i> 2020 01:29:42.126 --> 01:29:44.058 - (PUNCHING) - MR. McLANDEN: Whore! 2021 01:29:44.060 --> 01:29:46.128 - Never again! - Stop! 2022 01:29:46.130 --> 01:29:48.900 That's when you and Faith learned to hit the reset button, right? 2023 01:29:50.768 --> 01:29:51.900 Burn, baby, burn. 2024 01:29:51.902 --> 01:29:54.538 - (FIRE ROARING) - (MR. MCLANDEN SCREAMING) 2025 01:30:00.510 --> 01:30:01.743 <i>Why'd you leave each other?</i> 2026 01:30:01.745 --> 01:30:04.812 Well, we couldn't stay together after the fire. 2027 01:30:04.814 --> 01:30:06.847 The cops were looking for the big blonde arson twins. 2028 01:30:06.849 --> 01:30:08.553 <i>We were a walking sideshow.</i> 2029 01:30:09.720 --> 01:30:11.986 (ECHOING) Fuck off! 2030 01:30:11.988 --> 01:30:14.655 We had to say goodbye, so we did it with tattoos. 2031 01:30:14.657 --> 01:30:17.594 <i>Flames, and a little something for Charity.</i> 2032 01:30:22.765 --> 01:30:24.533 We split up in Corpus Christi. 2033 01:30:24.535 --> 01:30:25.667 She was gonna head south to Mexico, 2034 01:30:25.669 --> 01:30:27.636 <i>I was gonna go north.</i> 2035 01:30:27.638 --> 01:30:28.803 <i>We set a time and place to meet</i> 2036 01:30:28.805 --> 01:30:30.607 <i>after the smoke cleared.</i> 2037 01:30:31.707 --> 01:30:34.209 <i>But then, she never showed up.</i> 2038 01:30:34.211 --> 01:30:36.647 <i>I was worried sick. I waited for days.</i> 2039 01:30:37.447 --> 01:30:38.946 <i>But nothing.</i> 2040 01:30:38.948 --> 01:30:40.515 I thought maybe this is my opportunity 2041 01:30:40.517 --> 01:30:41.650 to do it on my own. 2042 01:30:41.652 --> 01:30:42.950 She was always getting me into trouble. 2043 01:30:42.952 --> 01:30:44.119 So I bought a one-way ticket to New York 2044 01:30:44.121 --> 01:30:45.520 and never looked back. 2045 01:30:45.522 --> 01:30:46.620 Did you miss her? 2046 01:30:46.622 --> 01:30:47.688 Of course I missed her. 2047 01:30:47.690 --> 01:30:49.191 I wasn't whole without her. 2048 01:30:49.193 --> 01:30:51.092 But I couldn't go on like that, I had to survive. 2049 01:30:51.094 --> 01:30:51.993 And it worked. 2050 01:30:51.995 --> 01:30:54.128 Yeah, my life in New York fell into place. 2051 01:30:54.130 --> 01:30:56.964 I got a job, worked my way up. 2052 01:30:56.966 --> 01:30:58.702 I met the perfect man. 2053 01:30:59.670 --> 01:31:01.535 Oh, you know that part, though. 2054 01:31:01.537 --> 01:31:02.971 Then your sister calls. 2055 01:31:02.973 --> 01:31:04.205 Fucking Facebook. 2056 01:31:04.207 --> 01:31:06.540 - You had to see her. - Yeah, of course I did. 2057 01:31:06.542 --> 01:31:09.744 So you fabricate this trip to Miami, 2058 01:31:09.746 --> 01:31:11.045 meet up at the old camp. 2059 01:31:11.047 --> 01:31:12.950 Camp bunk four, it was our happy place. 2060 01:31:15.586 --> 01:31:18.022 <i>It was the only place we could escape our dad, really.</i> 2061 01:31:26.729 --> 01:31:28.230 STEPHANIE: <i>Must've been shocking</i> 2062 01:31:28.232 --> 01:31:30.001 <i>to see her after all those years.</i> 2063 01:31:31.768 --> 01:31:34.636 EMILY: <i>Yeah, it was like looking in the mirror.</i> 2064 01:31:34.638 --> 01:31:37.137 Except at the sick life she chose over me. 2065 01:31:37.139 --> 01:31:38.740 STEPHANIE: <i>What did she want?</i> 2066 01:31:38.742 --> 01:31:39.744 EMILY: <i>Everything.</i> 2067 01:31:42.045 --> 01:31:43.645 Just gonna stand there? 2068 01:31:43.647 --> 01:31:44.745 (FAITH SCOFFS) 2069 01:31:44.747 --> 01:31:46.181 You gotta have Faith. 2070 01:31:46.183 --> 01:31:48.583 I don't hear from you for 14 years, 2071 01:31:48.585 --> 01:31:50.285 and now, here you are? 2072 01:31:50.287 --> 01:31:51.753 I'm out of cash. 2073 01:31:51.755 --> 01:31:52.757 Shocking. 2074 01:31:54.090 --> 01:31:55.759 The fuck did you say? 2075 01:31:58.662 --> 01:31:59.727 Nothing. 2076 01:31:59.729 --> 01:32:01.663 Get away with it this time. 2077 01:32:01.665 --> 01:32:03.130 Okay, so, um... 2078 01:32:03.132 --> 01:32:04.699 - Now what? - I don't know. 2079 01:32:04.701 --> 01:32:05.967 I didn't know where to go. 2080 01:32:05.969 --> 01:32:07.968 When I call, you act like a stranger. 2081 01:32:07.970 --> 01:32:09.838 Won't even let me come meet your family. 2082 01:32:09.840 --> 01:32:11.705 What am I supposed to say to them? 2083 01:32:11.707 --> 01:32:12.710 The truth? 2084 01:32:13.309 --> 01:32:15.576 Well, you may as well now 2085 01:32:15.578 --> 01:32:17.678 because I'm about to tell the cops. 2086 01:32:17.680 --> 01:32:18.780 You're what? 2087 01:32:18.782 --> 01:32:21.182 I don't know what else to do. 2088 01:32:21.184 --> 01:32:22.816 I don't have anything, 2089 01:32:22.818 --> 01:32:24.953 so I don't really have anything to lose. 2090 01:32:24.955 --> 01:32:26.820 I'm gonna go tell them everything we did. 2091 01:32:26.822 --> 01:32:28.690 And then we'll go down together. 2092 01:32:28.692 --> 01:32:29.824 We can be together again. 2093 01:32:29.826 --> 01:32:31.625 I have a little boy now. 2094 01:32:31.627 --> 01:32:34.262 Yeah, I know. I saw that kid. He's super cute. 2095 01:32:34.264 --> 01:32:35.797 Cut the shit, okay? 2096 01:32:35.799 --> 01:32:37.201 What do you want from me? 2097 01:32:39.269 --> 01:32:40.634 I want a million bucks. 2098 01:32:40.636 --> 01:32:41.902 How am I supposed to give you that? 2099 01:32:41.904 --> 01:32:43.137 You're rich and famous now. 2100 01:32:43.139 --> 01:32:44.908 I can't give you a million dollars. 2101 01:32:46.175 --> 01:32:47.741 You do seem highly motivated. 2102 01:32:47.743 --> 01:32:49.643 I don't know what it is, though. 2103 01:32:49.645 --> 01:32:50.811 It's your job, 2104 01:32:50.813 --> 01:32:52.746 probably your kid. 2105 01:32:52.748 --> 01:32:54.716 Don't talk about Nicky. 2106 01:32:54.718 --> 01:32:57.185 - (CHUCKLES) - Yeah, I'll, um... 2107 01:32:57.187 --> 01:33:00.655 I'll sell the house. I'll do whatever I need to do. 2108 01:33:00.657 --> 01:33:02.057 If I do this, you can't tell anyone ever. 2109 01:33:02.059 --> 01:33:03.060 Do you understand? 2110 01:33:03.827 --> 01:33:05.759 Yeah, I get it. 2111 01:33:05.761 --> 01:33:07.795 I mean, I don't really get the big deal about kids. 2112 01:33:07.797 --> 01:33:10.231 You could always just make another kid. 2113 01:33:10.233 --> 01:33:12.601 You know that, right? 2114 01:33:12.603 --> 01:33:14.083 You can't make another sister, though. 2115 01:33:15.805 --> 01:33:17.638 It's fucking hot. 2116 01:33:17.640 --> 01:33:19.774 Come on, let's go swimming. 2117 01:33:19.776 --> 01:33:21.546 Remember? Like we used to. 2118 01:33:22.813 --> 01:33:24.745 - You coming? - Yeah. 2119 01:33:24.747 --> 01:33:25.982 Right behind you. 2120 01:33:36.893 --> 01:33:38.159 STEPHANIE: <i>How'd you get her in the lake?</i> 2121 01:33:38.161 --> 01:33:39.828 EMILY: <i>Fuck you. I didn't kill my sister.</i> 2122 01:33:39.830 --> 01:33:40.864 <i>That was her idea.</i> 2123 01:33:46.836 --> 01:33:48.071 (FAITH LAUGHING) 2124 01:33:48.839 --> 01:33:50.308 Come on, wimp. 2125 01:33:52.209 --> 01:33:54.409 What? I thought you were the alpha now. 2126 01:33:54.411 --> 01:33:55.677 No? 2127 01:33:55.679 --> 01:33:57.315 I am the alpha, God damn it. 2128 01:34:05.788 --> 01:34:07.023 (CONTINUES LAUGHING) 2129 01:34:07.890 --> 01:34:09.160 (SPLASHES) 2130 01:34:14.430 --> 01:34:17.097 You abandoned me. 2131 01:34:17.099 --> 01:34:19.334 We were supposed to be a team, you and me. 2132 01:34:19.336 --> 01:34:20.435 Remember? 2133 01:34:20.437 --> 01:34:21.906 Yeah, I know we were. 2134 01:34:23.206 --> 01:34:25.776 But I just thought the only chance we had was alone. 2135 01:34:26.876 --> 01:34:28.111 You were right. 2136 01:34:28.845 --> 01:34:30.381 I'm sorry, kid. 2137 01:34:35.051 --> 01:34:36.053 Me, too. 2138 01:34:41.123 --> 01:34:42.259 (FAITH GASPS) 2139 01:35:31.907 --> 01:35:33.475 EMILY: <i>I was so worried.</i> 2140 01:35:33.477 --> 01:35:36.680 I woke up the next morning. I couldn't find her anywhere. 2141 01:35:38.348 --> 01:35:39.750 I never thought... 2142 01:35:41.518 --> 01:35:43.319 I never thought she'd do that, you know? 2143 01:35:46.255 --> 01:35:49.089 When I found her body in the lake, it was too late. 2144 01:35:49.091 --> 01:35:50.258 Lie. 2145 01:35:50.260 --> 01:35:51.325 You drowned her. 2146 01:35:51.327 --> 01:35:53.360 No, she killed herself. 2147 01:35:53.362 --> 01:35:54.995 I'm just all that's left of her. 2148 01:35:54.997 --> 01:35:56.431 No, you're a sister killer. 2149 01:35:56.433 --> 01:35:57.932 You're a brotherfucker. 2150 01:35:57.934 --> 01:35:59.200 Ooh! 2151 01:35:59.202 --> 01:36:00.768 What does Sean know? 2152 01:36:00.770 --> 01:36:01.871 Everything. 2153 01:36:02.773 --> 01:36:04.038 It was his idea. 2154 01:36:04.040 --> 01:36:05.906 I didn't know what to do once I found the body. 2155 01:36:05.908 --> 01:36:08.209 He said maybe this is our opportunity. 2156 01:36:08.211 --> 01:36:09.944 We could finally get out of debt. 2157 01:36:09.946 --> 01:36:11.015 Flee the country. 2158 01:36:11.982 --> 01:36:13.414 Spend more time with Nicky. 2159 01:36:13.416 --> 01:36:15.182 He convinced me we could pull it off. 2160 01:36:15.184 --> 01:36:17.051 That her DNA would do the rest. 2161 01:36:17.053 --> 01:36:19.320 I don't believe you. He grieved for you. 2162 01:36:19.322 --> 01:36:20.821 Oh, you believed that? 2163 01:36:20.823 --> 01:36:22.289 Aw, that was all an act. 2164 01:36:22.291 --> 01:36:23.991 You're a pathological liar. 2165 01:36:23.993 --> 01:36:25.295 Did Sean say that? 2166 01:36:27.130 --> 01:36:29.230 Cool. 2167 01:36:29.232 --> 01:36:31.435 I'm just gonna play you this tune real quick. 2168 01:36:35.037 --> 01:36:37.338 - EMILY: <i>Do you love her?</i> - SEAN: <i>No.</i> 2169 01:36:37.340 --> 01:36:38.673 <i>It was just sex.</i> 2170 01:36:38.675 --> 01:36:41.045 EMILY: <i>Did you think of me when you were fucking her?</i> 2171 01:36:41.577 --> 01:36:43.343 SEAN: <i>Yes.</i> 2172 01:36:43.345 --> 01:36:45.079 EMILY: <i>Do you love me or not, baby?</i> 2173 01:36:45.081 --> 01:36:46.880 SEAN: <i>Of course I do.</i> 2174 01:36:46.882 --> 01:36:48.850 <i>She doesn't mean a thing to me.</i> 2175 01:36:48.852 --> 01:36:51.287 I'm sorry, baby. I know you thought it was real. 2176 01:36:53.055 --> 01:36:55.190 But, hey, look on the bright side. 2177 01:36:55.192 --> 01:36:57.392 Your website went viral, thanks to me. 2178 01:36:57.394 --> 01:36:59.393 All this for a little money? 2179 01:36:59.395 --> 01:37:02.597 A little $4 million. (CHUCKLES) 2180 01:37:02.599 --> 01:37:05.365 That's not exactly little, huh? 2181 01:37:05.367 --> 01:37:07.267 I was hiding out till that money came in. 2182 01:37:07.269 --> 01:37:09.169 He was just gonna tie up some loose ends. 2183 01:37:09.171 --> 01:37:10.871 Was I a loose end? 2184 01:37:10.873 --> 01:37:12.507 Well, he needed help with Nicky. 2185 01:37:12.509 --> 01:37:14.308 You're so good with those kids. 2186 01:37:14.310 --> 01:37:16.578 So what happens now? 2187 01:37:16.580 --> 01:37:19.047 I just want my kid. 2188 01:37:19.049 --> 01:37:20.548 You fucked up my insurance plan. 2189 01:37:20.550 --> 01:37:22.417 The authorities won't back down on that. 2190 01:37:22.419 --> 01:37:23.517 You can have Sean. He's a piece of shit. 2191 01:37:23.519 --> 01:37:24.852 I don't even want him. 2192 01:37:24.854 --> 01:37:26.353 I don't want Sean. 2193 01:37:26.355 --> 01:37:27.825 Then I don't know, I guess there's... 2194 01:37:29.326 --> 01:37:30.828 There's another way, but 2195 01:37:31.595 --> 01:37:33.927 sort of one mother to another. 2196 01:37:33.929 --> 01:37:35.529 - (FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) - (SEAN SNORING) 2197 01:37:38.300 --> 01:37:40.303 (WHISPERS) Sleeping like a log. 2198 01:37:59.421 --> 01:38:00.991 (MUSIC STOPS) 2199 01:38:07.964 --> 01:38:10.063 - Oh! - What's going on? 2200 01:38:10.065 --> 01:38:12.202 They have a warrant. I tried to call you. 2201 01:38:13.103 --> 01:38:15.102 Excuse me. I'm Sean Townsend. 2202 01:38:15.104 --> 01:38:16.905 Look, I'm happy to comply with anything you need. 2203 01:38:16.907 --> 01:38:19.240 But it would be nice to have a heads-up. 2204 01:38:19.242 --> 01:38:20.642 This is an open investigation. 2205 01:38:20.644 --> 01:38:22.947 You don't get to pencil us in when it's convenient. 2206 01:38:24.380 --> 01:38:26.249 (BRAKES SCREECHING) 2207 01:38:30.086 --> 01:38:31.222 Hey. 2208 01:38:32.255 --> 01:38:33.454 Am I under arrest? 2209 01:38:33.456 --> 01:38:36.024 Oh, no, not yet. The DA wants a slam dunk. 2210 01:38:36.026 --> 01:38:38.159 That's gonna be pretty hard since I haven't done anything. 2211 01:38:38.161 --> 01:38:39.441 Did you know your wife was alive? 2212 01:38:40.397 --> 01:38:41.529 Not until recently. 2213 01:38:41.531 --> 01:38:43.097 When? 2214 01:38:43.099 --> 01:38:44.432 She contacted me. 2215 01:38:44.434 --> 01:38:47.200 And you immediately notified the authorities, right? 2216 01:38:47.202 --> 01:38:49.070 I can't discuss this without my attorney. 2217 01:38:49.072 --> 01:38:51.138 You know what? You really are a professor, aren't you? 2218 01:38:51.140 --> 01:38:52.973 Okay, we'll talk soon. 2219 01:38:52.975 --> 01:38:55.142 Oh, uh, if we need to contact you, 2220 01:38:55.144 --> 01:38:57.214 will you be with your wife or the best friend? 2221 01:38:59.248 --> 01:39:00.550 Somebody else? 2222 01:39:10.327 --> 01:39:11.993 I need a stiff drink. Maybe some of your... 2223 01:39:11.995 --> 01:39:14.195 I'm sorry. You can't come in. 2224 01:39:14.197 --> 01:39:16.364 What? Where's Nicky? 2225 01:39:16.366 --> 01:39:17.731 He's upstairs playing. 2226 01:39:17.733 --> 01:39:20.067 - You have to go. - What are you talking about? 2227 01:39:20.069 --> 01:39:22.035 This is an ongoing investigation, Sean. 2228 01:39:22.037 --> 01:39:23.204 For fuck's sake. 2229 01:39:23.206 --> 01:39:24.271 I can't let you into this house 2230 01:39:24.273 --> 01:39:25.539 until this whole thing's been solved. 2231 01:39:25.541 --> 01:39:26.740 She's gotten to you, hasn't she? 2232 01:39:26.742 --> 01:39:28.209 This has nothing to do with Emily. 2233 01:39:28.211 --> 01:39:30.744 It's got everything to do with her. 2234 01:39:30.746 --> 01:39:32.347 She's gaslighting you. 2235 01:39:32.349 --> 01:39:34.281 You don't understand how powerful she is. 2236 01:39:34.283 --> 01:39:36.484 No, I don't understand anything right now. 2237 01:39:36.486 --> 01:39:38.018 Stephanie, don't do this. 2238 01:39:38.020 --> 01:39:39.956 Please don't make me call the police. 2239 01:39:46.563 --> 01:39:49.062 (CAR DOOR CLOSES) 2240 01:39:49.064 --> 01:39:51.067 (SOULFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 2241 01:40:03.078 --> 01:40:05.381 (RINGING) 2242 01:40:18.028 --> 01:40:21.128 SEAN: <i>Stephanie, please call me back.</i> 2243 01:40:21.130 --> 01:40:22.463 <i>I don't know what's going on</i> 2244 01:40:22.465 --> 01:40:24.632 <i>or how this is all going to turn out.</i> 2245 01:40:24.634 --> 01:40:26.299 <i>But you're a great mum,</i> 2246 01:40:26.301 --> 01:40:28.703 <i>and you taught me how to be a better dad.</i> 2247 01:40:28.705 --> 01:40:31.606 <i>For that, I'll always be grateful.</i> 2248 01:40:31.608 --> 01:40:36.110 <i>The truth is, I don't think I ever knew my wife.</i> 2249 01:40:36.112 --> 01:40:38.015 <i>Or what she's capable of.</i> 2250 01:41:04.073 --> 01:41:05.742 (INAUDIBLE) 2251 01:41:12.815 --> 01:41:14.548 NEWS ANCHOR 1: <i>A shocking new development</i> 2252 01:41:14.550 --> 01:41:15.851 <i>in the Emily Nelson case,</i> 2253 01:41:15.853 --> 01:41:19.286 <i>which first went viral on a popular Internet vlog.</i> 2254 01:41:19.288 --> 01:41:21.355 <i>The PR executive who was believed dead</i> 2255 01:41:21.357 --> 01:41:22.757 <i>in Michigan has resurfaced.</i> 2256 01:41:22.759 --> 01:41:24.825 <i>And it appears the body found in the lake</i> 2257 01:41:24.827 --> 01:41:27.160 <i>was that of Nelson's estranged twin sister.</i> 2258 01:41:27.162 --> 01:41:29.362 <i>Nelson's husband, Sean Townsend,</i> 2259 01:41:29.364 --> 01:41:31.766 <i>an abusive failed novelist and English professor</i> 2260 01:41:31.768 --> 01:41:34.802 <i>allegedly forced her to stage her own death</i> 2261 01:41:34.804 --> 01:41:35.770 <i>in order to collect</i> 2262 01:41:35.772 --> 01:41:37.804 <i>a $4 million life insurance policy.</i> 2263 01:41:37.806 --> 01:41:38.940 NEWS ANCHOR 1: <i>Nevertheless,</i> 2264 01:41:38.942 --> 01:41:41.575 <i>bail for Mr. Townsend will be set today.</i> 2265 01:41:41.577 --> 01:41:42.744 NEWS ANCHOR 2: <i>A British national,</i> 2266 01:41:42.746 --> 01:41:44.712 <i>Townsend faces deportation if found guilty.</i> 2267 01:41:44.714 --> 01:41:46.646 <i>Although an accomplice to fraud,</i> 2268 01:41:46.648 --> 01:41:48.816 <i>Ms. Nelson is complying with the authorities</i> 2269 01:41:48.818 --> 01:41:50.454 <i>in exchange for clemency.</i> 2270 01:41:53.422 --> 01:41:54.690 SEAN: Stephanie? 2271 01:41:58.627 --> 01:42:00.227 Where's Nicky? 2272 01:42:00.229 --> 01:42:02.299 Oh, he's at a friend's house watching a movie. 2273 01:42:03.632 --> 01:42:05.803 I figured we needed some Mommy and Daddy time. 2274 01:42:07.804 --> 01:42:09.773 Have you forgotten me already? 2275 01:42:10.840 --> 01:42:12.543 You're impossible to forget. 2276 01:42:13.242 --> 01:42:14.410 Thank you. 2277 01:42:16.412 --> 01:42:17.748 (EMILY GIGGLES) 2278 01:42:19.748 --> 01:42:21.749 Oh, please, Sean, I'm not gonna poison you. 2279 01:42:21.751 --> 01:42:24.518 If I wanted to get rid of you, you'd already be dead. 2280 01:42:24.520 --> 01:42:26.322 You put those files in my computer. 2281 01:42:26.922 --> 01:42:29.190 Yes, I did. 2282 01:42:29.192 --> 01:42:30.624 But I did have help from a woman 2283 01:42:30.626 --> 01:42:32.495 who loves volunteering for everything. 2284 01:42:33.362 --> 01:42:34.529 SEAN: Stephanie. 2285 01:42:34.531 --> 01:42:37.164 She's not as sweet as her snatch, is she? 2286 01:42:37.166 --> 01:42:38.900 Were you ever gonna tell me you had a twin sister? 2287 01:42:38.902 --> 01:42:40.267 Wasn't your business. 2288 01:42:40.269 --> 01:42:41.569 I'm your husband! 2289 01:42:41.571 --> 01:42:42.837 You've been fucking my best friend 2290 01:42:42.839 --> 01:42:44.504 in my house, but now you're my husband? 2291 01:42:44.506 --> 01:42:45.673 Okay. 2292 01:42:45.675 --> 01:42:48.308 Then I should probably tell you that we were triplets. 2293 01:42:48.310 --> 01:42:49.509 The details. 2294 01:42:49.511 --> 01:42:50.514 STEPHANIE: <i>Hi, moms!</i> 2295 01:42:51.180 --> 01:42:52.482 Stephanie here. 2296 01:42:53.616 --> 01:42:54.882 I wanna thank you for all the love 2297 01:42:54.884 --> 01:42:56.316 and support you've been sending me. 2298 01:42:56.318 --> 01:42:57.487 Means so much. 2299 01:42:58.254 --> 01:42:59.389 Um... 2300 01:43:00.689 --> 01:43:03.824 You know, as shocked as you guys are 2301 01:43:03.826 --> 01:43:06.459 about these turns of events, 2302 01:43:06.461 --> 01:43:09.196 I can assure you, nobody is more stunned than me. 2303 01:43:09.198 --> 01:43:10.565 <i>Emily had her secrets.</i> 2304 01:43:10.567 --> 01:43:11.798 <i>So did her husband.</i> 2305 01:43:11.800 --> 01:43:14.401 <i>Clearly, I was the naive romantic</i> 2306 01:43:14.403 --> 01:43:16.270 <i>caught in the middle.</i> 2307 01:43:16.272 --> 01:43:18.905 <i>I love you guys. I always will.</i> 2308 01:43:18.907 --> 01:43:19.841 <i>I hope you can forgive me</i> 2309 01:43:19.843 --> 01:43:21.409 <i>in advance for what I have to do.</i> 2310 01:43:21.411 --> 01:43:24.214 <i>Moms, do everything yourself.</i> 2311 01:43:27.617 --> 01:43:28.816 EMILY: Stephanie. 2312 01:43:28.818 --> 01:43:30.351 You shouldn't be here right now. 2313 01:43:30.353 --> 01:43:32.419 I used to live here. Remember? 2314 01:43:32.421 --> 01:43:34.101 - Don't make this any hard... - Don't move. 2315 01:43:34.690 --> 01:43:35.826 (SCOFFS) 2316 01:43:36.792 --> 01:43:37.892 Stephanie, please. 2317 01:43:37.894 --> 01:43:39.826 You don't even let the boys play with squirt guns. 2318 01:43:39.828 --> 01:43:41.695 That was before you told me you loved me, 2319 01:43:41.697 --> 01:43:43.530 and it turned out you were laughing at me behind my back. 2320 01:43:43.532 --> 01:43:45.566 Stephanie, maybe we should take it down a notch. 2321 01:43:45.568 --> 01:43:47.267 You used me. 2322 01:43:47.269 --> 01:43:48.835 You used me, too. 2323 01:43:48.837 --> 01:43:50.905 But you had me making you dinner, 2324 01:43:50.907 --> 01:43:53.841 watching your kid, and sucking your dick. 2325 01:43:53.843 --> 01:43:55.709 I had no idea that she was still alive. 2326 01:43:55.711 --> 01:43:56.843 Stop lying. 2327 01:43:56.845 --> 01:43:58.612 Okay, you guys, I think we 2328 01:43:58.614 --> 01:44:00.347 should just sit down and talk this out. 2329 01:44:00.349 --> 01:44:02.917 Emily, you sit down. You hated Stephanie. 2330 01:44:02.919 --> 01:44:05.319 You used to watch her vlog and rip her apart. 2331 01:44:05.321 --> 01:44:06.887 All I wanted was to be your friend. 2332 01:44:06.889 --> 01:44:08.623 You were. 2333 01:44:08.625 --> 01:44:09.824 And then you fucked my husband 2334 01:44:09.826 --> 01:44:10.792 and my insurance plan. 2335 01:44:10.794 --> 01:44:13.727 Don't blame her. This is so typical of you. 2336 01:44:13.729 --> 01:44:16.329 Sean, I was just trying to get us out of crushing fucking debt. 2337 01:44:16.331 --> 01:44:18.999 Oh, yeah. Maybe if you had the good sense to give me a call, 2338 01:44:19.001 --> 01:44:20.935 I could've helped you with this little plot of yours. 2339 01:44:20.937 --> 01:44:22.035 Oh, please, you haven't come up 2340 01:44:22.037 --> 01:44:23.303 with a decent plot in 10 years. 2341 01:44:23.305 --> 01:44:24.704 Really? Right now? 2342 01:44:24.706 --> 01:44:27.408 Can I say something, as the lady with the gun? 2343 01:44:27.410 --> 01:44:28.942 Nicky deserves better than both of you. 2344 01:44:28.944 --> 01:44:30.311 Fuck you, I love my kid. 2345 01:44:30.313 --> 01:44:31.515 Shut up. 2346 01:44:32.814 --> 01:44:35.283 Stephanie, put down the gun. 2347 01:44:35.285 --> 01:44:36.717 You don't wanna do this. 2348 01:44:36.719 --> 01:44:38.589 I really do, though. 2349 01:44:40.822 --> 01:44:42.291 I loved you. 2350 01:44:43.693 --> 01:44:44.828 I loved you, too. 2351 01:44:47.630 --> 01:44:48.862 I think this is the best thing. 2352 01:44:48.864 --> 01:44:50.265 - (GUN COCKS) - Whoa. 2353 01:44:50.267 --> 01:44:52.732 Yeah, we could say he attacked us. They'll believe us, you know? 2354 01:44:52.734 --> 01:44:55.468 No, no, you're not fucking serious. You're not gonna kill him. 2355 01:44:55.470 --> 01:44:58.004 We're just gonna send him to jail. 2356 01:44:58.006 --> 01:45:00.473 Are you serious? Jail's enough for you? 2357 01:45:00.475 --> 01:45:02.677 - You don't need to kill him. - Aren't you angry? 2358 01:45:02.679 --> 01:45:04.477 Don't you want revenge for your sister? 2359 01:45:04.479 --> 01:45:07.347 Yeah, yes. But he didn't technically kill her. 2360 01:45:07.349 --> 01:45:08.949 Then who did? 2361 01:45:08.951 --> 01:45:11.421 Because I don't buy that it was an accident. 2362 01:45:13.989 --> 01:45:15.559 Screw this. 2363 01:45:16.358 --> 01:45:17.958 - (GROANS) - (GASPS) 2364 01:45:17.960 --> 01:45:19.593 Oh, my God! 2365 01:45:19.595 --> 01:45:21.561 - Fuck. - Oh, my God. Jesus. 2366 01:45:21.563 --> 01:45:23.496 Oh, my God. Um... 2367 01:45:23.498 --> 01:45:26.433 Oh, my God! Shit! Is he really dead? 2368 01:45:26.435 --> 01:45:28.968 Sean? I'm sorry. What do I do? 2369 01:45:28.970 --> 01:45:30.573 Do you put pressure on it? 2370 01:45:31.474 --> 01:45:32.573 Do we call an ambulance? 2371 01:45:32.575 --> 01:45:34.975 Do I just let him die? I mean... 2372 01:45:34.977 --> 01:45:36.776 He deserved it, right? 2373 01:45:36.778 --> 01:45:39.679 (CRYING) No, I killed her. I killed my sister. 2374 01:45:39.681 --> 01:45:40.780 What? 2375 01:45:40.782 --> 01:45:42.551 Sean? Sean! 2376 01:45:42.885 --> 01:45:43.887 Get up. 2377 01:45:46.421 --> 01:45:48.088 Show's over, come on. 2378 01:45:48.090 --> 01:45:50.591 Seriously? Come on. Get the fuck up. Hey! 2379 01:45:50.593 --> 01:45:52.058 (SEAN GROANS) You too, Brando. 2380 01:45:52.060 --> 01:45:53.460 Get up! 2381 01:45:53.462 --> 01:45:54.764 Fuck! 2382 01:45:59.001 --> 01:46:00.003 Wow. 2383 01:46:02.505 --> 01:46:04.637 That was extra. 2384 01:46:04.639 --> 01:46:06.807 I mean, obviously, I knew you guys were up to something, 2385 01:46:06.809 --> 01:46:08.409 when I saw both the mics 2386 01:46:08.411 --> 01:46:10.578 that you had the cops plant in here. 2387 01:46:10.580 --> 01:46:12.512 You clearly wanted a confession out of me, 2388 01:46:12.514 --> 01:46:14.080 so you could clear Sean's name. 2389 01:46:14.082 --> 01:46:17.584 But that was a good way to go about it. 2390 01:46:17.586 --> 01:46:19.520 And where you messed up, though, baby girl, 2391 01:46:19.522 --> 01:46:21.021 is thinking that I would confess 2392 01:46:21.023 --> 01:46:23.156 to protect that fucking yeast infection. 2393 01:46:23.158 --> 01:46:25.025 - (LAUGHS) Really? - All right. 2394 01:46:25.027 --> 01:46:27.093 Come on, you gotta know better than that. 2395 01:46:27.095 --> 01:46:30.563 - Oh. - But then you came in all emotional with the gun, 2396 01:46:30.565 --> 01:46:33.401 and that was... That was convincing. 2397 01:46:33.403 --> 01:46:34.567 Yeah. 2398 01:46:34.569 --> 01:46:35.569 It was very cinematic. 2399 01:46:35.571 --> 01:46:37.771 I don't even know where you find this shit. 2400 01:46:37.773 --> 01:46:39.173 You're really amazing. 2401 01:46:39.175 --> 01:46:40.711 Thanks. That means a lot. 2402 01:46:41.743 --> 01:46:43.779 But you did confess, Emily. 2403 01:46:44.546 --> 01:46:47.550 Oh. Yeah. Um... 2404 01:46:48.850 --> 01:46:52.186 I did. But I cut these first, though. 2405 01:46:52.188 --> 01:46:54.454 For our friendship bracelets. 2406 01:46:54.456 --> 01:46:56.156 One for you! 2407 01:46:56.158 --> 01:46:59.526 That is disappointing. 2408 01:46:59.528 --> 01:47:02.862 Oh! My God! Look what I found. (SCOFFS) 2409 01:47:02.864 --> 01:47:03.963 (GUN COCKS) 2410 01:47:03.965 --> 01:47:08.002 Okay. You can't shoot us. The police are outside. 2411 01:47:08.004 --> 01:47:10.204 No, they're not. 2412 01:47:10.206 --> 01:47:12.539 (IMITATING) Hey, cops, Stephanie here. 2413 01:47:12.541 --> 01:47:13.607 Change of plans. 2414 01:47:13.609 --> 01:47:15.843 I'm meeting Emily and Sean at Darren's house now. 2415 01:47:15.845 --> 01:47:16.944 I'll see you there. 2416 01:47:16.946 --> 01:47:18.646 You sent them to Darren's house? 2417 01:47:18.648 --> 01:47:20.847 - (BONG BUBBLING) - It's a virus. 2418 01:47:20.849 --> 01:47:23.116 String theory. String theory, isn't it? 2419 01:47:23.118 --> 01:47:26.085 - (WOMEN SCREAM) - Hands up! Weapons down! 2420 01:47:26.087 --> 01:47:27.754 No, I have a prescription for that. 2421 01:47:27.756 --> 01:47:29.490 I have ocular pressure! 2422 01:47:29.492 --> 01:47:30.958 Come on, I've been on the run for 10 years. 2423 01:47:30.960 --> 01:47:32.860 You think I don't know how to manipulate the system? 2424 01:47:32.862 --> 01:47:34.829 So you're gonna kill us? 2425 01:47:34.831 --> 01:47:36.797 Well, what the fuck else am I supposed to do? 2426 01:47:36.799 --> 01:47:38.466 You two will clearly go to 2427 01:47:38.468 --> 01:47:40.100 extraordinary lengths to take me down. 2428 01:47:40.102 --> 01:47:41.768 And you know too much. 2429 01:47:41.770 --> 01:47:43.971 So, I feel like a murder-suicide 2430 01:47:43.973 --> 01:47:46.606 is the only fitting end for you two. 2431 01:47:46.608 --> 01:47:47.674 And if you kill him, 2432 01:47:47.676 --> 01:47:50.009 I think our insurance still covers that, right? 2433 01:47:50.011 --> 01:47:51.811 I mean, sort of perfect. 2434 01:47:51.813 --> 01:47:53.614 One door closes and another one opens. 2435 01:47:53.616 --> 01:47:54.949 Thank you for that. 2436 01:47:54.951 --> 01:47:57.051 You always have been fucking crazy, haven't you? 2437 01:47:57.053 --> 01:47:58.587 Have I? 2438 01:47:59.154 --> 01:48:00.920 (SEAN GROANING) 2439 01:48:00.922 --> 01:48:02.722 Oh, shit. You're right. 2440 01:48:02.724 --> 01:48:04.644 God, you fucking... You actually fucking shot me. 2441 01:48:05.528 --> 01:48:07.127 I'm gonna miss him. 2442 01:48:07.129 --> 01:48:08.131 Your turn. 2443 01:48:09.064 --> 01:48:11.164 Emily, come on. 2444 01:48:11.166 --> 01:48:12.932 You're not gonna kill me. 2445 01:48:12.934 --> 01:48:15.201 Oh, yeah. I killed my dad and my sister, 2446 01:48:15.203 --> 01:48:18.905 but I could never kill my husband-fucking best friend. 2447 01:48:18.907 --> 01:48:20.908 Am I really your best friend? 2448 01:48:20.910 --> 01:48:23.076 You're not just saying that for, you know... 2449 01:48:23.078 --> 01:48:24.878 No, no, I'm not just saying that at all. 2450 01:48:24.880 --> 01:48:26.813 I get worried that it's just me. 2451 01:48:26.815 --> 01:48:28.582 I know, sometimes I was worried about that, too. 2452 01:48:28.584 --> 01:48:29.917 - (STEPHANIE LAUGHS) - (CONTINUES GROANING) 2453 01:48:29.919 --> 01:48:31.685 So hard to connect with other moms. 2454 01:48:31.687 --> 01:48:33.753 And then when you have a full-time job, it's... 2455 01:48:33.755 --> 01:48:35.289 Okay, okay, don't pull that crap. 2456 01:48:35.291 --> 01:48:36.656 Being a mom is a full-time job. 2457 01:48:36.658 --> 01:48:38.558 What I do is hard work. 2458 01:48:38.560 --> 01:48:39.927 And I have my vlog on top of that, 2459 01:48:39.929 --> 01:48:41.661 and that's just getting bigger and bigger. 2460 01:48:41.663 --> 01:48:43.731 If you came on the vlog, that'd be so fun. 2461 01:48:43.733 --> 01:48:45.133 If you came on the vlog 2462 01:48:45.135 --> 01:48:48.035 and confessed to killing your father and sister and held me at gunpoint, 2463 01:48:48.037 --> 01:48:49.669 I could probably hit a million subscribers. 2464 01:48:49.671 --> 01:48:51.237 Aww. That would've been great. 2465 01:48:51.239 --> 01:48:52.608 Why don't we do that right now? 2466 01:48:52.875 --> 01:48:53.874 Hmm? 2467 01:48:53.876 --> 01:48:56.110 We're live streaming. Did you not know that? 2468 01:48:56.112 --> 01:48:57.945 What the fuck are you talking about? 2469 01:48:57.947 --> 01:48:59.483 God, that's so rude, I'm sorry. 2470 01:49:00.116 --> 01:49:01.718 Wave hi to the moms! 2471 01:49:02.919 --> 01:49:04.852 <i>This little gadget. Boop!</i> 2472 01:49:04.854 --> 01:49:06.957 Yeah. They make nanny cams so small these days. 2473 01:49:07.657 --> 01:49:09.056 (SIRENS WAILING) 2474 01:49:09.058 --> 01:49:10.126 Brotherfucker! 2475 01:49:13.028 --> 01:49:14.628 STEPHANIE: Emily! 2476 01:49:14.630 --> 01:49:16.163 Emily, stop! 2477 01:49:16.165 --> 01:49:19.066 Emily, you can't outrun this! Don't do this to Nicky. 2478 01:49:19.068 --> 01:49:20.704 Come on, you're still his mom. 2479 01:49:23.906 --> 01:49:24.908 Yeah, I am. 2480 01:49:25.907 --> 01:49:27.276 But you sure as shit won't be. 2481 01:49:34.983 --> 01:49:36.683 America's hybrids. 2482 01:49:36.685 --> 01:49:38.787 Silent, but deadly. 2483 01:49:42.825 --> 01:49:44.691 I saw you on the vlog. 2484 01:49:44.693 --> 01:49:47.927 You fuck with one of the moms, you fuck with us all. 2485 01:49:47.929 --> 01:49:49.062 - (GRUNTS) - (GROANS) 2486 01:49:49.064 --> 01:49:50.634 Oh! Emily. 2487 01:49:51.367 --> 01:49:53.633 Stop! Emily. 2488 01:49:53.635 --> 01:49:55.902 This looks super painful. 2489 01:49:55.904 --> 01:49:57.103 Now, sweetie. 2490 01:49:57.105 --> 01:49:59.807 Stop. You've just been hit by a car. 2491 01:49:59.809 --> 01:50:01.240 Don't do this. 2492 01:50:01.242 --> 01:50:03.612 I'm getting worried about your knees right now. 2493 01:50:04.380 --> 01:50:06.049 Just relax. 2494 01:50:11.386 --> 01:50:13.353 I'm sorry. 2495 01:50:13.355 --> 01:50:15.088 I'm not sorry. Oh! 2496 01:50:15.090 --> 01:50:16.559 I'm still working on that. 2497 01:50:21.063 --> 01:50:22.695 Hi, moms! Stephanie here. 2498 01:50:22.697 --> 01:50:24.298 We have very exciting news today 2499 01:50:24.300 --> 01:50:27.401 because we signed up our one millionth subscriber, 2500 01:50:27.403 --> 01:50:30.937 Mrs. Carol Findley of Ames, Iowa! 2501 01:50:30.939 --> 01:50:33.774 Thank you for joining us, Carol. 2502 01:50:33.776 --> 01:50:36.009 You should know, as our newest friend, 2503 01:50:36.011 --> 01:50:38.177 that in addition to my usual helpful tips and recipes, 2504 01:50:38.179 --> 01:50:41.048 I now take on unsolved mysteries. 2505 01:50:41.050 --> 01:50:42.915 Because it turns out I have a nose 2506 01:50:42.917 --> 01:50:45.386 for sniffing out the freshest basil 2507 01:50:45.388 --> 01:50:47.855 and criminals who thought they got away with it. 2508 01:50:47.857 --> 01:50:49.390 <i>So if you have a cold case</i> 2509 01:50:49.392 --> 01:50:51.392 <i>or a mystery that needs to be unraveled,</i> 2510 01:50:51.394 --> 01:50:52.360 <i>you just drop me a line.</i> 2511 01:50:52.362 --> 01:50:54.027 <i>That includes you now, Carol,</i> 2512 01:50:54.029 --> 01:50:55.995 <i>because you're part of the family.</i> 2513 01:50:55.997 --> 01:50:58.298 <i>For now, we're gonna be talking</i> 2514 01:50:58.300 --> 01:50:59.732 <i>about my favorite cold soup,</i> 2515 01:50:59.734 --> 01:51:01.334 <i>gazpacho!</i> 2516 01:51:01.336 --> 01:51:02.335 <i>Which is normally gross, but we're not gonna make it gross.</i> 2517 01:51:02.337 --> 01:51:03.936 <i>Right, guys? It's gonna be great.</i> 2518 01:51:03.938 --> 01:51:05.941 (FRENCH RAP SONG PLAYING) 2519 01:51:49.484 --> 01:51:51.755 (LAUGHS) In your ass! 2520 01:51:58.434 --> 01:52:03.434 Subtitles by <font color="#ff0000">explosiveskull</font> Resync by <font color="#00ffff">GoldenBeard</font>