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WEBVTT - https://subtitletools.com 00:00:34.435 --> 00:00:38.815 Prepare thyself for one twisted tale. 00:00:40.400 --> 00:00:45.013 Through the chapters of time, legends have been told 00:00:45.113 --> 00:00:48.475 of brave knights, evil warlocks, 00:00:48.575 --> 00:00:52.751 beautiful maidens, magical prophecies, 00:00:52.912 --> 00:00:55.711 and other serious shit. 00:01:01.796 --> 00:01:04.140 Be not afraid. 00:01:04.299 --> 00:01:06.142 This is your destiny. 00:01:06.968 --> 00:01:08.970 You will bear my seed, 00:01:09.470 --> 00:01:12.064 giving birth to a new beast, 00:01:13.016 --> 00:01:14.518 a new age. 00:01:14.851 --> 00:01:19.448 An age where I will command mankind in fear! 00:01:22.358 --> 00:01:23.735 To arms! 00:01:36.080 --> 00:01:38.003 At ease, Maiden. 00:01:39.709 --> 00:01:41.837 When the light of the world flickers, 00:01:42.003 --> 00:01:43.571 we, the Golden Order of Knights, 00:01:43.671 --> 00:01:45.548 restore the rule of good. 00:01:45.715 --> 00:01:46.887 You're safe now. 00:01:47.508 --> 00:01:49.010 Then let us pray 00:01:49.177 --> 00:01:52.413 that 100 years from now when these two moons meet again, 00:01:52.513 --> 00:01:56.393 there will be a hero as brave as you, my lord. 00:01:58.645 --> 00:02:00.864 A hero as brave. 00:02:10.198 --> 00:02:11.599 Oh, fuck me. 00:02:11.699 --> 00:02:13.201 Prince Thadeous of Mourne, 00:02:13.534 --> 00:02:16.208 you are hereby sentenced to death by hanging 00:02:16.329 --> 00:02:17.856 for your illicit behavior 00:02:17.956 --> 00:02:21.051 with the noble Dwarf King's second wife Regina. 00:02:21.626 --> 00:02:24.153 You're a disgrace to any kingdom! 00:02:24.253 --> 00:02:26.472 I say hang the bastard. 00:02:26.756 --> 00:02:28.053 Get on with it! 00:02:28.216 --> 00:02:29.889 And your minstrel, Courtney, 00:02:30.051 --> 00:02:31.769 is to be tarred and feathered 00:02:31.886 --> 00:02:34.856 for unlawful association with a deviant. 00:02:34.973 --> 00:02:37.567 Children, I'm allergic, please. Let's not. 00:02:37.809 --> 00:02:41.063 Please! These allegations, they're being greatly exaggerated. 00:02:41.396 --> 00:02:43.298 It was more or less just heavy petting 00:02:43.398 --> 00:02:46.026 with a brief moment of penetration. 00:02:47.276 --> 00:02:48.869 Disgusting! 00:02:49.028 --> 00:02:51.781 He deserves to die! Kill him! Hang the bastard! 00:02:51.906 --> 00:02:54.017 Hey! Easy! That's not nice. 00:02:54.117 --> 00:02:56.311 You, bloodthirsty little fucker! 00:02:56.411 --> 00:02:58.755 Show me some respect, I'm a prince! 00:02:59.247 --> 00:03:01.357 To the bowels of hell! 00:03:01.457 --> 00:03:02.458 Good night, Prince. 00:03:02.750 --> 00:03:04.127 Oh, dear gods. 00:03:15.596 --> 00:03:17.081 Your Highness, what are you doing? 00:03:17.181 --> 00:03:18.333 I'm escaping, Courtney! 00:03:18.433 --> 00:03:20.606 Quit playing with those children and help me! 00:03:21.477 --> 00:03:22.524 Kill him! 00:03:23.396 --> 00:03:24.714 Get him! After him! 00:03:24.814 --> 00:03:25.840 Your Highness, wait for me! 00:03:25.940 --> 00:03:26.883 Why are they upset? 00:03:26.983 --> 00:03:28.656 All dwarf queens are unfaithful. 00:03:29.068 --> 00:03:30.762 Hurry, Courtney, back to the kingdom! 00:03:30.862 --> 00:03:32.910 Forgive us with your tiny hearts! 00:03:33.114 --> 00:03:34.682 Faster sheepies, faster! 00:03:34.782 --> 00:03:35.999 Please wait, sir! 00:03:36.617 --> 00:03:39.062 Courtney, you've proven yourself useless yet again. 00:03:39.162 --> 00:03:40.288 Who's that? 00:03:40.580 --> 00:03:41.773 We're safe and We're stoned. 00:03:41.873 --> 00:03:43.090 Ganja! 00:03:44.167 --> 00:03:45.193 They're gaining on us. 00:03:45.293 --> 00:03:46.294 Oh, the dragon! 00:03:46.461 --> 00:03:48.179 Those Highland Dwarves have got weapons! 00:03:48.296 --> 00:03:49.343 Coming through. 00:03:49.464 --> 00:03:50.716 Boobies! 00:03:52.508 --> 00:03:53.680 Watch out, Courtney! 00:03:55.636 --> 00:03:56.913 I'm telling father we should go 00:03:57.013 --> 00:03:59.311 to war with these double-crossers. 00:04:00.475 --> 00:04:02.477 Poultry! 00:04:02.643 --> 00:04:05.046 Livestock! Courtney, this is no time to be napping. 00:04:05.146 --> 00:04:06.693 I'm a chicken. 00:04:07.815 --> 00:04:09.592 Let's get back... Oh, look! 00:04:09.692 --> 00:04:11.945 A little feast to break up this pursuit. 00:04:12.111 --> 00:04:13.388 Dangerous, yet delicious. 00:04:13.488 --> 00:04:14.705 I'm jumping out this window... 00:04:16.449 --> 00:04:17.792 He's angry! 00:04:17.950 --> 00:04:19.394 Courtney, break my fall with your body. 00:04:19.494 --> 00:04:22.088 Owl Please, don't hurt my bottom! 00:04:23.247 --> 00:04:25.233 Run, Courtney! Pick up the pace! 00:04:25.333 --> 00:04:27.677 Why do people so little run so fast? 00:04:39.180 --> 00:04:40.164 That was close. 00:04:40.264 --> 00:04:42.062 Courtney, I've had enough of this nonsense! 00:04:42.725 --> 00:04:44.252 Crack-a-lacka, you little varmint. 00:04:44.352 --> 00:04:45.945 They're devils, sir! They're devils! 00:04:46.187 --> 00:04:48.131 Get him! They're muscular. 00:04:48.231 --> 00:04:50.029 Get Off me! - That's it, Sir! 00:04:50.358 --> 00:04:51.826 Your Highness! 00:04:59.325 --> 00:05:01.936 Please tell me that you completed your simple task 00:05:02.036 --> 00:05:05.631 and secured the treaty signed by the Lord of the Dwarf Village. 00:05:05.915 --> 00:05:07.775 Father, they sent a beautiful woman 00:05:07.875 --> 00:05:09.718 to distract me and I was defenseless. 00:05:09.877 --> 00:05:12.071 Don't bandy words with me, Thadeous. 00:05:12.171 --> 00:05:14.782 Your brother is to return from his quest at any moment. 00:05:14.882 --> 00:05:16.930 Please go and bathe yourself. 00:05:17.176 --> 00:05:18.928 Why must I bow to greet him? 00:05:19.095 --> 00:05:20.663 No one does anything special for me 00:05:20.763 --> 00:05:22.561 when I do extraordinary things. 00:05:22.890 --> 00:05:25.126 And what extraordinary things have you done of late? 00:05:25.226 --> 00:05:27.069 Do tell me. Enlighten me. 00:05:27.395 --> 00:05:29.523 Courtney, what extraordinary things have I done? 00:05:30.314 --> 00:05:32.967 You took a bubble bath, ate some toast, 00:05:33.067 --> 00:05:34.677 had a sleep for one hour, 00:05:34.777 --> 00:05:38.407 and commissioned a naked statue of your fine self. 00:05:39.991 --> 00:05:42.085 God, if your mother could see you now. 00:05:42.368 --> 00:05:44.871 Hear ye! Hear ye! 00:05:46.330 --> 00:05:47.565 Oh, dear gods. 00:05:47.665 --> 00:05:50.043 It is with blossoming personal joy 00:05:50.668 --> 00:05:53.654 that I announce the return of the mighty, 00:05:53.754 --> 00:05:56.007 the magnificent, the merciful, 00:05:56.299 --> 00:05:58.973 Prince Fabious! 00:06:08.311 --> 00:06:11.130 Hey, Prince Fabious, we adore you! 00:06:11.230 --> 00:06:12.715 Welcome home, Prince Fabious. 00:06:12.815 --> 00:06:13.907 You're my king, Prince Fabious. 00:06:14.150 --> 00:06:17.154 Welcome home! You are adored. 00:06:17.445 --> 00:06:18.492 it's Prince Fabious! 00:06:20.406 --> 00:06:22.875 Prince Fabious, I'm here for you now. 00:06:23.075 --> 00:06:24.873 Brother! 00:06:26.662 --> 00:06:29.190 Oh, my god, I missed you so. 00:06:29.290 --> 00:06:32.715 Great to see you. 00:06:32.877 --> 00:06:34.320 Father. 00:06:34.420 --> 00:06:35.512 My son. 00:06:37.340 --> 00:06:38.466 Welcome home. 00:06:38.883 --> 00:06:40.226 As you all know, 00:06:40.384 --> 00:06:42.745 the evil wizard Leezar has plagued our kingdom 00:06:42.845 --> 00:06:45.724 with his foul creatures and wicked ways for years. 00:06:46.057 --> 00:06:48.685 But with my brave trusted knights 00:06:48.851 --> 00:06:49.818 and my dear Simon. 00:06:51.020 --> 00:06:53.614 Join us, my mechanical friend. 00:06:54.315 --> 00:06:58.445 We have dispatched the latest of these cold blooded enemies. 00:06:59.028 --> 00:07:00.655 Behold! 00:07:01.155 --> 00:07:05.661 The head of Leezar's mighty Cyclops! 00:07:09.205 --> 00:07:10.331 Fuck, yeah! 00:07:21.092 --> 00:07:26.440 Once again, Prince Fabious has made me as proud as a father could ever be. 00:07:26.597 --> 00:07:28.975 All the land owes him gratitude. 00:07:30.101 --> 00:07:31.669 This is not the only good news 00:07:31.769 --> 00:07:33.771 that I've brought home with me today. 00:07:34.188 --> 00:07:38.113 Father, Brother, kingdom... 00:07:40.194 --> 00:07:41.946 She is radiant! 00:07:42.280 --> 00:07:44.874 I'd like you to meet my bride-to-be. 00:07:52.164 --> 00:07:53.482 Belladonna, my dear, 00:07:53.582 --> 00:07:56.005 why don't you delight us with your story. 00:07:56.168 --> 00:07:59.172 Oh, no. It's a story of strife and sadness. 00:07:59.338 --> 00:08:02.467 No, no, it's not. It's a story of love. 00:08:02.633 --> 00:08:03.784 You don't have to tell it. 00:08:03.884 --> 00:08:04.976 If she doesn't want to tell it. 00:08:05.136 --> 00:08:07.810 She will tell. This is a table full of your loved ones. 00:08:08.180 --> 00:08:09.727 Oh. Okay. 00:08:10.224 --> 00:08:11.959 I've been held captive by Leezar 00:08:12.059 --> 00:08:13.753 in the Tower of Disorder since I was but a child. 00:08:13.853 --> 00:08:16.197 Never knowing love nor human contact. 00:08:16.689 --> 00:08:18.066 But I never gave up hope. 00:08:18.357 --> 00:08:22.053 Singing every day, praying that someday my hero would find me. 00:08:22.153 --> 00:08:23.721 And I did. 00:08:23.821 --> 00:08:26.165 We had just slaughtered the Cyclops. 00:08:26.324 --> 00:08:28.998 We were on our way home, and on the wind 00:08:29.160 --> 00:08:30.958 I heard the most beautiful song. 00:08:32.163 --> 00:08:35.542 Fascinating, really. May we take pause for one moment. 00:08:36.375 --> 00:08:37.401 Yes, sir. 00:08:37.501 --> 00:08:38.718 Look at Courtney's new haircut. 00:08:38.878 --> 00:08:41.489 Doesn't it make his head look like the tip of a penis? 00:08:41.589 --> 00:08:43.432 it's hilarious. 00:08:43.674 --> 00:08:44.926 Thadeous, please. 00:08:45.092 --> 00:08:46.494 What is your problem? 00:08:46.594 --> 00:08:49.222 You, Fabious, you're being selfish and greedy. 00:08:49.472 --> 00:08:51.224 Stealing all the attentions. 00:08:51.349 --> 00:08:54.043 Today is not just for you two. 00:08:54.143 --> 00:08:56.987 Today is Thundarian's birthday. 00:08:57.605 --> 00:08:59.257 Thundarian, is it your birthday? 00:08:59.357 --> 00:09:00.609 It's not my birthday. 00:09:00.775 --> 00:09:02.510 It's not Thundarian's birthday, Thadeous. 00:09:02.610 --> 00:09:03.761 Enough, enough. 00:09:03.861 --> 00:09:06.330 My heart's desire, what is this? 00:09:06.614 --> 00:09:09.517 No. That's a... We call that a fork, 00:09:09.617 --> 00:09:11.686 and you use that for your food. 00:09:11.786 --> 00:09:13.208 Right there. Fucking idiot. 00:09:14.372 --> 00:09:15.773 Having spent years in the tower 00:09:15.873 --> 00:09:19.468 has made her ignorant to some of our customs and things in general. 00:09:19.794 --> 00:09:20.861 Why, yes, of course. 00:09:20.961 --> 00:09:22.087 If your mother were here today, 00:09:22.213 --> 00:09:24.511 she would be a very proud woman, Fabious. 00:09:24.673 --> 00:09:25.890 Thank you, Father. 00:09:26.050 --> 00:09:30.055 Which is why I ask your permission to marry her at once. 00:09:30.971 --> 00:09:32.769 The glory of romance! 00:09:33.140 --> 00:09:35.126 I call upon my criers to proclaim 00:09:35.226 --> 00:09:39.005 that tomorrow we'll see the greatest wedding this kingdom has ever known. 00:09:39.105 --> 00:09:42.234 And tonight, we celebrate! 00:09:54.537 --> 00:09:55.980 I don't like this. 00:09:56.080 --> 00:09:58.833 Courtney, will you make funny faces to entertain me? 00:10:03.087 --> 00:10:04.304 No. 00:10:04.463 --> 00:10:07.637 Never triangle face. I hate triangle face. It scares me. 00:10:07.800 --> 00:10:08.801 Apologies. 00:10:11.429 --> 00:10:13.456 Good evening, Your Royal Highness. 00:10:13.556 --> 00:10:14.603 Julie. 00:10:14.765 --> 00:10:16.642 Hello, fucking Julie. 00:10:16.809 --> 00:10:20.439 What a wonderful, wonderful evening, sire. 00:10:20.855 --> 00:10:23.382 Yet another glorious achievement 00:10:23.482 --> 00:10:27.703 in the whole firmament of starring moments for your brother Fabious. 00:10:27.903 --> 00:10:32.033 We shall remember it for the rest of our lives. 00:10:34.493 --> 00:10:36.228 Isn't that amazing how he can talk 00:10:36.328 --> 00:10:38.126 and suck my cock at the same exact time? 00:10:38.289 --> 00:10:40.132 Yes, it is. Incredible. 00:10:40.666 --> 00:10:43.402 Oh, clean yourself up. 00:10:43.502 --> 00:10:45.049 Should have closed your eyes, Julie. 00:10:45.379 --> 00:10:48.178 I know your vulgarity masks your pain. 00:10:48.466 --> 00:10:49.742 No, it doesn't. 00:10:49.842 --> 00:10:52.078 I was trying to remember the last time we had 00:10:52.178 --> 00:10:55.022 one of these wonderful evenings for you, sir. 00:10:55.264 --> 00:10:57.358 Surely there must have been one 00:10:57.516 --> 00:11:01.670 somewhere in the history of this kingdom, of your illustrious life. 00:11:01.770 --> 00:11:04.319 There must've been some moment 00:11:04.523 --> 00:11:06.092 that we can all remember. 00:11:06.192 --> 00:11:08.160 And I'm trying to think now 00:11:08.861 --> 00:11:10.488 and there's nothing. 00:11:11.280 --> 00:11:14.558 Courtney, I think I've had enough of this foul party. 00:11:14.658 --> 00:11:15.659 Yes, sir. 00:11:18.829 --> 00:11:20.706 Stupid Julie, I'll show him. 00:11:21.874 --> 00:11:23.717 I am Thadeous, 00:11:23.876 --> 00:11:27.471 the greatest sword fighting man to ever live. 00:11:27.630 --> 00:11:32.326 I will murder anyone whoever tries to insult me 00:11:32.426 --> 00:11:34.554 or challenge me. 00:11:35.095 --> 00:11:38.315 Some balls you have, Simon, showing yourself to me. 00:11:40.434 --> 00:11:42.461 No matter what you say, we'll never be friends 00:11:42.561 --> 00:11:44.905 because I hate mechanical inventions 00:11:45.064 --> 00:11:46.361 and you know this. 00:11:47.733 --> 00:11:49.861 Wipe that smile off your face. 00:11:51.070 --> 00:11:52.663 Hey, Simon. 00:11:52.821 --> 00:11:55.975 You should swing from your hips, Brother. You'll get more leverage. 00:11:56.075 --> 00:11:58.169 Here, let me show you. 00:11:59.411 --> 00:12:02.085 Put your hands there, yeah, 00:12:02.248 --> 00:12:04.376 and swing. 00:12:04.542 --> 00:12:07.762 Gods, get off of me. I know how to use a sword. 00:12:07.920 --> 00:12:09.763 Do you? Yes. 00:12:09.922 --> 00:12:11.924 We'll see about that. 00:12:12.091 --> 00:12:13.826 Okay, enough. I don't want to do swords with you. 00:12:13.926 --> 00:12:14.994 I'm doing it by myself. 00:12:15.094 --> 00:12:16.495 Defend yourself, Brother! 00:12:16.595 --> 00:12:17.997 Stop it. There you go. 00:12:18.097 --> 00:12:19.081 Stop. 00:12:19.181 --> 00:12:20.683 Defend yourself! 00:12:20.849 --> 00:12:22.851 Stop it. 00:12:25.271 --> 00:12:27.089 You just nicked my knuckles! 00:12:27.189 --> 00:12:30.033 Oh, you'll be all right. it's not as if I cut your head off or anything. 00:12:30.276 --> 00:12:32.370 Why would you bring that disgusting thing here? 00:12:32.528 --> 00:12:34.622 It's getting juices in our water supply. 00:12:34.780 --> 00:12:36.453 It's a souvenir of my kill. 00:12:36.699 --> 00:12:39.435 I always take one from a foe that's tasted the cold, 00:12:39.535 --> 00:12:41.788 unrelenting steel of my blade. 00:12:42.246 --> 00:12:44.148 Souvenir of your kill? 00:12:44.248 --> 00:12:48.128 That sounds like a rather stupid, bloodthirsty tradition. 00:12:49.628 --> 00:12:50.988 What's your problem? 00:12:51.088 --> 00:12:52.531 Why are you such a sourpuss? 00:12:52.631 --> 00:12:56.135 I'm not being a sourpuss. I just didn't wanna be at that celebrations. 00:12:56.468 --> 00:12:58.687 All I want is for you to be a part of this moment. 00:12:58.846 --> 00:13:01.373 I want you to be gay with me and father. 00:13:01.473 --> 00:13:03.601 I don't want to be gay with you two. 00:13:04.852 --> 00:13:06.003 I'd rather just stay in here 00:13:06.103 --> 00:13:08.526 with my blade and fuck things up. 00:13:08.814 --> 00:13:10.007 Why would you say that? 00:13:10.107 --> 00:13:12.610 Because, Fabious, it's true. 00:13:16.238 --> 00:13:19.266 I'm sick and tired of everyone sucking up on your tits 00:13:19.366 --> 00:13:21.334 because you are to become king. 00:13:21.493 --> 00:13:24.793 All the while, no one gives two turtle shits about me. 00:13:25.122 --> 00:13:29.527 But Thaddy, first borns like me, we become king. 00:13:29.627 --> 00:13:32.972 Second borns, you can be whatever you want to be. 00:13:33.130 --> 00:13:34.973 I want to be king. 00:13:35.883 --> 00:13:37.430 Maybe we can both be king. 00:13:37.635 --> 00:13:41.139 No, I want to be king by myself. 00:13:41.305 --> 00:13:43.165 Well, cheer up, Brother. 00:13:43.265 --> 00:13:44.687 I have something else that you can be. 00:13:45.184 --> 00:13:46.752 What? 00:13:46.852 --> 00:13:48.525 Best man at my wedding. 00:13:49.021 --> 00:13:52.070 I can think of no one else I'd want by my side 00:13:52.441 --> 00:13:55.094 as I sing my vow passionately into her eyes. 00:13:55.194 --> 00:13:57.572 Sounds tedious and boring. 00:13:57.863 --> 00:13:59.473 If I'm not mistaken, it's tradition 00:13:59.573 --> 00:14:02.476 that the best man gets to finger the bridesmaids. 00:14:02.576 --> 00:14:05.375 Really? I've never heard of this tradition. 00:14:09.958 --> 00:14:11.443 You have a fucking deal. 00:14:11.543 --> 00:14:13.779 Oh, you're gonna be so handsome! 00:14:13.879 --> 00:14:16.598 Who's gonna be the most handsome best man? 00:14:17.174 --> 00:14:18.367 Probably me. 00:14:18.467 --> 00:14:21.471 Who's the prince with the most dashing moustache? 00:14:22.054 --> 00:14:23.163 Me. 00:14:23.263 --> 00:14:25.541 Who gives the warmest hugs? 00:14:25.641 --> 00:14:27.018 Me, of course. 00:14:27.643 --> 00:14:29.190 I love you, Thadeous. 00:14:30.771 --> 00:14:32.899 Okay, that's cool. 00:14:33.857 --> 00:14:37.202 All gather for the royal wedding! 00:14:50.916 --> 00:14:53.590 Hello there, best man. 00:14:54.002 --> 00:14:54.987 Best man? 00:14:55.087 --> 00:14:57.990 If he wanted a best man, he should have chosen me. 00:14:58.090 --> 00:15:00.117 How many quests have I been on with Fabious? 00:15:00.217 --> 00:15:01.218 Countless. 00:15:02.010 --> 00:15:05.247 I gave my hand to save his life on the battlefield. 00:15:05.347 --> 00:15:08.271 And yet he chooses Thadeous as his best man. 00:15:08.475 --> 00:15:11.979 That sorry sack of shit. 00:15:12.146 --> 00:15:14.945 Such a poor excuse for a prince. 00:15:15.107 --> 00:15:18.702 He's nothing more than a self-entitled, rotten child! 00:15:19.027 --> 00:15:20.028 Idiot. 00:15:22.281 --> 00:15:24.158 You look beautiful. Thank you. 00:15:24.324 --> 00:15:25.325 Belladonna... 00:15:26.076 --> 00:15:28.078 Oh, my love. 00:15:31.081 --> 00:15:34.401 Oh, Fabious, I can't wait until the cervix is over, 00:15:34.501 --> 00:15:36.595 and to lie together as one. 00:15:37.087 --> 00:15:38.364 No, the service. 00:15:38.464 --> 00:15:43.686 The cervix is a circular wing of muscles that contracts or expands. 00:15:43.844 --> 00:15:45.562 It's up in your vagina. 00:15:45.804 --> 00:15:48.353 That's where my penis will go after the wedding. 00:15:49.516 --> 00:15:51.210 Have you not consummated your love? 00:15:51.310 --> 00:15:52.357 Not yet. 00:15:52.686 --> 00:15:54.380 Belladonna has never been with a man 00:15:54.480 --> 00:15:57.529 so we've decided to preserve her purity till after the wedding. 00:15:58.317 --> 00:16:00.969 She's given me this ribbon from her fair hair. 00:16:01.069 --> 00:16:04.744 To hold on to until we can be together in a sex-way. 00:16:05.657 --> 00:16:07.079 Yes. 00:16:08.911 --> 00:16:10.538 Enough, enough. 00:16:11.747 --> 00:16:13.399 If Thadeous wishes to play forgetful 00:16:13.499 --> 00:16:14.983 on his brother's day of days, 00:16:15.083 --> 00:16:16.710 then wait we shall not. 00:16:16.919 --> 00:16:20.423 I can't get married without my brother. He's my best man. 00:16:20.547 --> 00:16:23.659 His time has passed. Pick another best man. 00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:24.785 No. 00:16:24.885 --> 00:16:27.684 Julie, you be best man. Here you are. 00:16:27.930 --> 00:16:29.022 Godsdammit. 00:16:31.183 --> 00:16:34.278 Oh, Brendan, you trolls have it so easy. 00:16:34.603 --> 00:16:38.028 Out here playing recklessly in your beautiful mud. 00:16:38.190 --> 00:16:41.535 Eating your scraps of horse meats and crumbs. 00:16:42.319 --> 00:16:44.162 Green grass. Green grass. 00:16:44.613 --> 00:16:47.287 And do tell, how do you get so dirty? 00:16:47.741 --> 00:16:51.496 You just take the earth and rub it upon your face? 00:16:51.954 --> 00:16:53.297 Your Highness, 00:16:54.665 --> 00:16:57.735 the wedding has... Hello. The wedding has started. 00:16:57.835 --> 00:16:59.929 I do not care. 00:17:00.170 --> 00:17:02.514 I'd rather stay with this fine gentleman. 00:17:02.631 --> 00:17:03.741 Hiding here with my true friends. 00:17:03.841 --> 00:17:04.908 Yes. 00:17:05.008 --> 00:17:09.138 Let the whole entire wedding wonder and worry where I am. 00:17:12.140 --> 00:17:17.271 This is the day that I've been waiting for 00:17:19.189 --> 00:17:22.659 Sand in the kingdom 00:17:22.776 --> 00:17:25.495 Our love is born 00:17:26.613 --> 00:17:31.995 Flowing from the ocean to the moons 00:17:34.162 --> 00:17:39.214 Your heart now I hold 00:17:42.004 --> 00:17:47.386 You have a beauty I can't ignore 00:17:49.052 --> 00:17:54.229 Bastion of all I do adore 00:17:56.351 --> 00:17:59.821 Giving this moment 00:18:00.022 --> 00:18:03.652 Our love that's true 00:18:04.610 --> 00:18:09.662 Our hearts now are one 00:18:15.162 --> 00:18:16.960 Bravo! 00:18:17.539 --> 00:18:19.132 Bravo! 00:18:19.499 --> 00:18:20.901 Bravo! 00:18:21.001 --> 00:18:23.504 Reveal yourself, stranger. Are you lost? 00:18:23.837 --> 00:18:28.058 A thousand pardons. I mean not to intrude on such a joyous occasion. 00:18:29.009 --> 00:18:32.479 However, today I just could not help myself. 00:18:32.721 --> 00:18:33.789 Leezar! 00:18:33.889 --> 00:18:35.937 You're not welcome here, devil! 00:18:39.436 --> 00:18:41.463 If you come in peace, say so, 00:18:41.563 --> 00:18:43.799 otherwise prepare to meet your doom. 00:18:43.899 --> 00:18:45.822 Oh, brave Fabious. 00:18:46.068 --> 00:18:50.073 You murdered my Cyclops. But I have other perils in store for you. 00:18:50.822 --> 00:18:53.541 Ones that are beyond the bounds of your imagination. 00:18:53.700 --> 00:18:55.077 One, in particular, 00:18:55.243 --> 00:18:56.979 involving an ancient prophecy destined 00:18:57.079 --> 00:18:59.648 to be fulfilled by a powerful Warlock, 00:18:59.748 --> 00:19:00.840 me. 00:19:01.124 --> 00:19:04.503 And, of course, a very beautiful virgin that looks just like 00:19:06.922 --> 00:19:07.923 her. 00:19:08.215 --> 00:19:11.970 I was keeping that one for something very special. 00:19:12.135 --> 00:19:15.730 And I dare say it was rude of you to steal her from me. 00:19:15.889 --> 00:19:17.186 Now I'm here to get her back. 00:19:17.432 --> 00:19:19.981 And just how do you plan on doing that? 00:19:20.102 --> 00:19:21.194 Magic, 00:19:22.729 --> 00:19:23.855 motherfucker. 00:19:24.022 --> 00:19:25.048 Not a moment more. 00:19:25.148 --> 00:19:27.116 Knights, to arms! Take him! 00:19:30.988 --> 00:19:34.117 Do you honestly think your band of worms can stop me? 00:19:38.662 --> 00:19:41.211 Arise therefore, my mothers! 00:19:49.840 --> 00:19:50.841 Watch out! 00:20:05.814 --> 00:20:07.031 Come with me. 00:20:08.400 --> 00:20:09.902 Leezar! 00:20:20.579 --> 00:20:23.148 I shall not go back to that dreadful tower! 00:20:23.248 --> 00:20:24.340 Look into my eyes! 00:20:24.708 --> 00:20:27.382 You will learn to love me! Do you understand? 00:20:32.299 --> 00:20:33.516 Come on. 00:20:43.685 --> 00:20:45.528 Impossible. 00:20:59.701 --> 00:21:01.728 Farewell, Kingdom of Mourne. 00:21:01.828 --> 00:21:05.458 As always, it has been my pleasure. 00:21:23.391 --> 00:21:24.835 I thought it was from riding sheep, 00:21:24.935 --> 00:21:26.653 but it turns out just to be an ear infection. 00:21:27.896 --> 00:21:28.897 You fucker! 00:21:30.690 --> 00:21:31.758 Good times. 00:21:31.858 --> 00:21:33.510 No one get up. I'm very tired. 00:21:33.610 --> 00:21:35.203 I'm going straight to my bed chambers. 00:21:35.529 --> 00:21:37.702 Brother, thank god you're alive. 00:21:37.864 --> 00:21:40.367 When you didn't show up for the wedding, I feared the worst. 00:21:40.492 --> 00:21:41.664 Why are you crying? 00:21:41.868 --> 00:21:43.541 Leezar has taken my love. 00:21:43.703 --> 00:21:44.875 What? Yes.. 00:21:44.996 --> 00:21:48.375 So, your brother is about to embark on yet another quest. 00:21:48.708 --> 00:21:50.277 This time to rescue Belladonna 00:21:50.377 --> 00:21:52.404 and rid the land of that loathsome wretch 00:21:52.504 --> 00:21:53.630 once and for all. 00:21:53.755 --> 00:21:55.803 Wow, how noble of him. 00:21:56.216 --> 00:21:59.494 Well, it was nice to see you, as short as the visit was. 00:21:59.594 --> 00:22:03.224 I look forward to hearing about it. Good luck and good bye. 00:22:03.473 --> 00:22:06.397 Thadeous, this is Fabious' 28th quest. 00:22:07.060 --> 00:22:08.587 How many have you been on? 00:22:08.687 --> 00:22:11.315 Courtney, how many quests have I completed? 00:22:12.899 --> 00:22:15.135 The answer is none. 00:22:15.235 --> 00:22:17.846 It is finally time for you to become a man. 00:22:17.946 --> 00:22:20.916 You must journey with your brother to rescue his bride. 00:22:21.116 --> 00:22:22.809 Father, you can't be serious. 00:22:22.909 --> 00:22:24.102 If you want me to go on to a quest, 00:22:24.202 --> 00:22:25.562 then let's start with something easy, 00:22:25.662 --> 00:22:28.899 like boiling a chicken or beating off in front of a Pegasus. 00:22:28.999 --> 00:22:30.546 Elementary things. 00:22:30.792 --> 00:22:34.763 Look around you at the harm that has befallen this castle! 00:22:37.215 --> 00:22:39.242 This quest is your last chance 00:22:39.342 --> 00:22:41.787 to prove to me and the kingdom 00:22:41.887 --> 00:22:44.956 that you are a man worthy to bear the family crest, 00:22:45.056 --> 00:22:48.230 and to show that at your core, you are not rotten, 00:22:48.727 --> 00:22:52.027 but you are brave and honorable, and noble. 00:22:52.189 --> 00:22:55.008 All the qualities expected of a prince. 00:22:55.108 --> 00:22:56.405 The choice is yours. 00:22:56.735 --> 00:22:59.304 Either journey with your brother and the Knights Elite, 00:22:59.404 --> 00:23:02.248 or you can face banishment from the kingdom. 00:23:30.101 --> 00:23:31.419 You see, Courtney, 00:23:31.519 --> 00:23:34.693 I alone understand how to properly prepare for a quest. 00:23:34.940 --> 00:23:38.945 Masculine garments, proper, good collie to smoke upon. 00:23:39.110 --> 00:23:40.783 How is Steven doing? 00:23:40.946 --> 00:23:42.789 He looks like he's stoned, sir. 00:23:42.948 --> 00:23:44.224 Fabious has Simon, 00:23:44.324 --> 00:23:47.853 and now I have Steven, a far superior creature companion. 00:23:47.953 --> 00:23:49.296 Wouldn't you agree? 00:23:49.454 --> 00:23:52.107 He will fare very well, indeed, I'm sure, Your Highness. 00:23:52.207 --> 00:23:55.026 I do hope this adventure is not too stressful or boring. 00:23:55.126 --> 00:23:59.472 Either way I intend to get properly fucked up if no one disagrees. 00:24:16.481 --> 00:24:19.360 Belladonna, wake up. Wake up. 00:24:19.526 --> 00:24:21.553 Who is that? Where am I? 00:24:21.653 --> 00:24:23.530 'Tis I, Fabious. Your love. 00:24:25.198 --> 00:24:26.199 Fabious? 00:24:26.366 --> 00:24:28.101 You're still in Leezar's lair. 00:24:28.201 --> 00:24:30.896 But fear not, I'm here to rescue you. 00:24:30.996 --> 00:24:32.898 Fabious, it's really you. 00:24:32.998 --> 00:24:35.046 I knew you'd come to find me. 00:24:41.298 --> 00:24:45.178 I can't do this. I can't do it. It's so mean. 00:24:46.177 --> 00:24:50.023 You should've seen the look on your face. it's me! 00:24:50.724 --> 00:24:52.317 You're still a prisoner. 00:24:52.475 --> 00:24:55.128 I've seen a beautiful world beyond this prison, 00:24:55.228 --> 00:24:57.481 and I count the hours till I escape. 00:24:57.731 --> 00:24:59.591 I wouldn't be so sure of that. 00:24:59.691 --> 00:25:03.867 Lookie there. The twin moons drawing slowly together. 00:25:04.154 --> 00:25:06.657 Time moving them closer. 00:25:06.823 --> 00:25:10.703 Just as time moves you and I closer together. 00:25:10.994 --> 00:25:14.214 And when the two moons unite, so shall we. 00:25:14.539 --> 00:25:18.068 Perhaps, keeping you in this tower has left you ignorant. 00:25:18.168 --> 00:25:20.637 You're so easily deceived. 00:25:20.879 --> 00:25:24.884 For example, I have heard that your Prince Fabious 00:25:25.050 --> 00:25:28.179 has made his bed recklessly with many maidens. 00:25:30.263 --> 00:25:34.985 And I heard that he has fungi on his genitalia as a result. 00:25:35.185 --> 00:25:37.563 Also, he organizes orgies 00:25:37.896 --> 00:25:40.632 with wenches and barbarians alike 00:25:40.732 --> 00:25:45.158 and he takes sperm on him and gives it to women freely. 00:25:45.570 --> 00:25:47.538 Spilling his seed willy-nilly 00:25:47.697 --> 00:25:50.917 as he makes his way through that orgy. 00:25:51.117 --> 00:25:53.144 I don't believe you. 00:25:53.244 --> 00:25:57.169 He is not the dashing young man you believe him to be. 00:25:57.457 --> 00:25:58.458 So 00:26:00.251 --> 00:26:04.222 these are the harsh realities of the outside world. 00:26:06.132 --> 00:26:07.805 Welcome home. 00:26:10.637 --> 00:26:12.981 Halt! Steady. 00:26:17.644 --> 00:26:19.738 Sorry to disturb you two love birds 00:26:19.896 --> 00:26:22.695 but we've arrived at the home of the Wize Wizard. 00:26:22.857 --> 00:26:24.325 Who the hell is the Wize Wizard? 00:26:24.609 --> 00:26:26.386 He's an ancient seer who helps many 00:26:26.486 --> 00:26:28.263 on their quest with added insight. 00:26:28.363 --> 00:26:31.367 Great. Well, let me know how it goes. 00:26:31.533 --> 00:26:33.476 Leave him in his carriage, Fabious. 00:26:33.576 --> 00:26:35.812 You and I will seek counsel with the Wize Wizard. 00:26:35.912 --> 00:26:36.938 No. 00:26:37.038 --> 00:26:40.317 Come, Brother. This is the first stop on your first quest. 00:26:40.417 --> 00:26:42.966 We shall go together. 00:26:54.806 --> 00:26:55.853 Brother, 00:26:56.015 --> 00:26:57.625 you look ravishing in that armor, 00:26:57.725 --> 00:26:59.944 but I don't think you'll need it. 00:27:00.061 --> 00:27:02.940 The Wize Wizard is a peaceful, little old man. 00:27:03.773 --> 00:27:05.867 I'm wearing it. You're just being jealous. 00:27:12.782 --> 00:27:15.501 Hello? Anyone home? 00:27:18.204 --> 00:27:21.274 Looks as if someone is cultivating glorious herbs in here. 00:27:21.374 --> 00:27:23.342 Hey, Wize Wizard, is that you over there? 00:27:23.626 --> 00:27:27.176 Who dares enter my den? 00:27:27.839 --> 00:27:31.469 It is I, Prince Fabious and my brother, Prince Thadeous. 00:27:31.634 --> 00:27:33.511 We come to seek counsel. 00:27:33.636 --> 00:27:36.059 Come, come. Give me kisses. 00:27:44.522 --> 00:27:46.299 Kiss him. 00:27:46.399 --> 00:27:47.384 Fuck,no. 00:27:47.484 --> 00:27:48.468 Pretty please. 00:27:48.568 --> 00:27:49.865 Kiss it on the mouth. 00:27:50.361 --> 00:27:52.363 For the quest. 00:27:52.489 --> 00:27:54.787 I do it every time I come. 00:27:57.410 --> 00:28:00.539 Hello. Nice to meet you. 00:28:05.335 --> 00:28:06.778 Sit, sit. 00:28:06.878 --> 00:28:07.946 Sit. 00:28:08.046 --> 00:28:12.051 Fabious has been coming here since he was a boy. 00:28:12.217 --> 00:28:14.285 You did this when you were a child. 00:28:14.385 --> 00:28:15.477 Yes! 00:28:15.720 --> 00:28:17.393 We had great times, didn't we? 00:28:17.722 --> 00:28:19.724 Yes, yes, we did. 00:28:20.892 --> 00:28:22.690 You would kiss him? 00:28:24.229 --> 00:28:27.073 Yeah, sometimes we would do other things. 00:28:27.190 --> 00:28:28.908 Like what? 00:28:29.067 --> 00:28:32.220 When I was younger, we'd take our shirts off and jump on the bed. 00:28:32.320 --> 00:28:34.914 Playful secrets. 00:28:35.740 --> 00:28:36.741 Don't tell father. 00:28:38.034 --> 00:28:40.270 Breathe deeply of these herbs 00:28:40.370 --> 00:28:42.147 and share a vision with me. 00:28:42.247 --> 00:28:43.339 Of course. 00:28:48.670 --> 00:28:51.389 Yes. Allow me to puff as well. 00:28:55.593 --> 00:28:58.392 Those are some powerful herbs. 00:28:58.555 --> 00:29:00.603 Giving me dark visions. 00:29:00.765 --> 00:29:02.292 Shall we pack this again? 00:29:02.392 --> 00:29:04.895 I'm not getting visions. I'm not sure if it's working, Wizard. 00:29:06.104 --> 00:29:08.607 Visions. Visions. 00:29:08.731 --> 00:29:11.029 Thadeous, are you seeing what I'm seeing? 00:29:11.192 --> 00:29:12.385 You making a fool yourself. 00:29:12.485 --> 00:29:13.970 Handle your shit, Fabious, please. 00:29:14.070 --> 00:29:15.242 No, I can't. 00:29:16.489 --> 00:29:18.833 Please, interpret these visions, Wizard. 00:29:19.075 --> 00:29:22.170 Prophecies foretell of an evil wizard 00:29:22.287 --> 00:29:24.898 laying his seed inside a virgin 00:29:24.998 --> 00:29:27.296 under the eclipse of the two moons. 00:29:27.625 --> 00:29:30.153 What? What evil prophecy is this? 00:29:30.253 --> 00:29:31.696 The child she would spawn 00:29:31.796 --> 00:29:34.345 is said to be a dragon most powerful. 00:29:34.632 --> 00:29:38.703 Leezar wants to make love to Belladonna to create a dragon? 00:29:38.803 --> 00:29:40.914 That's fucking disgusting. 00:29:41.014 --> 00:29:42.357 I cannot let this happen. 00:29:42.599 --> 00:29:43.708 When is this eclipse? 00:29:43.808 --> 00:29:45.481 In five nights' time, 00:29:45.810 --> 00:29:49.839 but you will need an enchanted blade to do this warlock in. 00:29:49.939 --> 00:29:52.533 A blade made of unicorn horn. 00:29:52.859 --> 00:29:55.720 Say where I can find such a sword and it shall be mine. 00:29:55.820 --> 00:29:59.700 It rests in the depths of the most perilous hidden labyrinth. 00:30:00.033 --> 00:30:02.502 Just beyond Muldiss Darton. 00:30:02.660 --> 00:30:03.786 Muldiss Darton. 00:30:03.953 --> 00:30:06.456 Well, what is Muldiss Darton? 00:30:06.623 --> 00:30:08.296 It's a place of legend. 00:30:15.465 --> 00:30:17.763 Oh. Powerful magic. 00:30:17.884 --> 00:30:20.578 This crooked compass will catch the light 00:30:20.678 --> 00:30:23.852 and point the way to the labyrinth's location. 00:30:24.015 --> 00:30:25.291 Be warned, 00:30:25.391 --> 00:30:29.362 they say the walls of this maze drive men to madness. 00:30:29.520 --> 00:30:31.673 But if you can find your way, 00:30:31.773 --> 00:30:34.071 the blade will be yours. 00:30:35.193 --> 00:30:37.095 Thank you, Wize Wizard. 00:30:37.195 --> 00:30:40.449 Not so fast. First you must answer a riddle. 00:30:40.740 --> 00:30:45.712 What journey be long and twisted and sensitive at hand? 00:30:45.870 --> 00:30:50.671 To what end must man go to discover the depths of his ecstasy? 00:30:51.209 --> 00:30:53.507 Think hard, strong warriors. 00:30:54.379 --> 00:30:55.801 Fuck, I know this. 00:30:57.006 --> 00:30:58.053 I've got it! 00:30:58.549 --> 00:31:03.271 You want us to twist what is long with our sensitive hands. 00:31:03.554 --> 00:31:05.227 He wants us to jerk him off. 00:31:05.473 --> 00:31:08.001 Just punch the tip and twist it. 00:31:08.101 --> 00:31:11.105 Yes, but we are not going to do that. 00:31:11.771 --> 00:31:14.866 If it's for the quest, we will do what needs to be done. 00:31:16.776 --> 00:31:20.155 I'll work the tip, you tickle his balls. 00:31:26.786 --> 00:31:27.787 Yuck! 00:31:28.371 --> 00:31:29.355 Pervert. 00:31:29.455 --> 00:31:30.581 Did you get any information? 00:31:30.748 --> 00:31:32.775 Let's just make camp. 00:31:32.875 --> 00:31:35.845 Sick. This quest sucks. 00:31:36.838 --> 00:31:38.239 It used to be you that joined him. 00:31:38.339 --> 00:31:39.511 Yes. 00:31:41.467 --> 00:31:44.471 Don't worry. All will be well. 00:31:53.771 --> 00:31:56.320 Attentions please, warriors. 00:31:56.482 --> 00:31:58.155 I propose a toast. 00:31:58.317 --> 00:32:00.945 Let us drink till thine asses are drunk. 00:32:01.112 --> 00:32:03.014 Brother, we do not celebrate 00:32:03.114 --> 00:32:04.891 until we complete the quest at hand. 00:32:04.991 --> 00:32:06.601 It is the code of the Knights Elite. 00:32:06.701 --> 00:32:09.937 What of my code where we drink like men? 00:32:10.037 --> 00:32:11.230 Thadeous, we have some traditions 00:32:11.330 --> 00:32:13.048 of our own out here on the road. 00:32:14.000 --> 00:32:16.924 Manious, prepare the warrior's tidings, if you will. 00:32:17.086 --> 00:32:21.341 If it is the first night of your first quest, well... 00:32:26.679 --> 00:32:27.680 Here it comes. 00:32:29.015 --> 00:32:30.517 Disgusting 00:32:32.477 --> 00:32:34.420 Feast upon the heart of the beast. 00:32:34.520 --> 00:32:36.130 No, thank you, I'm not hungry. 00:32:36.230 --> 00:32:38.653 It is a tradition among men. 00:32:38.983 --> 00:32:40.826 Eat it. Eat it. 00:32:40.985 --> 00:32:43.054 Eat it. Eat it. 00:32:43.154 --> 00:32:46.875 Eat it! Eat it! Eat it! 00:33:03.841 --> 00:33:05.764 You fuckers! That's not funny! 00:33:06.010 --> 00:33:07.478 You're not supposed to eat it. 00:33:07.678 --> 00:33:08.830 You all were chanting. 00:33:08.930 --> 00:33:11.774 Maybe there's some donkey cock in your carriage! 00:33:11.974 --> 00:33:14.397 Fuck you, Boremont! Manious, fuck you! 00:33:14.519 --> 00:33:15.712 I hate all of you. 00:33:15.812 --> 00:33:17.189 Thadeous! 00:33:17.563 --> 00:33:18.735 Come back. 00:33:19.232 --> 00:33:21.405 Thadeous, come here. 00:33:48.719 --> 00:33:50.062 Dark master, 00:33:50.221 --> 00:33:53.191 it is I, Julie. 00:33:54.392 --> 00:33:56.360 We have crossed the hazel meadow, 00:33:56.519 --> 00:33:59.773 and are now taking rest at the Cliffs of Kuneman. 00:33:59.939 --> 00:34:03.239 Now that the Princes of Mourne have left their stronghold 00:34:03.401 --> 00:34:05.699 their vulnerabilities are in your hands. 00:34:05.862 --> 00:34:07.013 My hands. 00:34:07.113 --> 00:34:08.786 Bring Prince Fabious to me alive. 00:34:09.031 --> 00:34:11.784 I would like him to witness as I impregnate his love. 00:34:11.951 --> 00:34:13.123 Impregnate. 00:34:13.244 --> 00:34:14.687 As for Thadeous and his boy, 00:34:14.787 --> 00:34:18.382 toss them from the Cliffs of Kuneman. They're useless. 00:34:20.418 --> 00:34:21.795 Fart. 00:34:22.712 --> 00:34:24.680 Knock, knock. May I come in? 00:34:24.839 --> 00:34:27.533 No, leave me alone. Get out of here. 00:34:27.633 --> 00:34:31.934 Thadeous, you must calm down. it's over. 00:34:32.138 --> 00:34:34.624 You ate the heart, you passed the initiation. 00:34:34.724 --> 00:34:35.708 Passed? 00:34:35.808 --> 00:34:37.810 You made me look stupid in front of all your friends. 00:34:37.977 --> 00:34:40.505 And don't think I'm not telling father because I'm going to. 00:34:40.605 --> 00:34:43.905 Thadeous, we were just having some fun, and it was perfect. 00:34:44.066 --> 00:34:46.319 Now they know you're not to be fucked with. 00:34:46.485 --> 00:34:48.471 Excuse me, sir, sorry for the intrusion. 00:34:48.571 --> 00:34:50.869 I have just witnessed a most disturbing incident. 00:34:51.032 --> 00:34:52.850 There must be a misunderstanding. 00:34:52.950 --> 00:34:54.769 Julie is my most trusted confidant. 00:34:54.869 --> 00:34:56.103 Julie is an idiot. 00:34:56.203 --> 00:34:57.605 No, he's not. He's a gentleman. 00:34:57.705 --> 00:34:59.298 Julie is what, Your Highness? 00:34:59.498 --> 00:35:00.900 I'm not sure, Julie. 00:35:01.000 --> 00:35:03.173 Courtney said he saw some suspicious behavior. 00:35:03.419 --> 00:35:07.549 You, I saw you talking with Leezar. 00:35:09.926 --> 00:35:13.430 How dare you watch me in my private moments. 00:35:19.101 --> 00:35:20.569 He's stolen my vision. 00:35:20.811 --> 00:35:21.858 Get him, Courtney! 00:35:24.106 --> 00:35:25.107 Come here! 00:35:28.194 --> 00:35:29.286 You old beast. 00:35:29.987 --> 00:35:31.806 Courtney, just restrain him with all your might. 00:35:31.906 --> 00:35:33.453 No, slay him! 00:35:33.741 --> 00:35:34.788 Murder him! 00:35:34.909 --> 00:35:36.206 Die of me. 00:35:40.581 --> 00:35:41.924 What? 00:35:42.083 --> 00:35:44.586 Don't move, you're surrounded. 00:35:46.253 --> 00:35:47.550 Julie has no dick! 00:35:48.798 --> 00:35:49.890 Boremont! 00:35:50.049 --> 00:35:51.175 Help! 00:35:53.678 --> 00:35:54.662 Knights! 00:35:54.762 --> 00:35:56.264 A turncoat has been discovered! 00:35:56.430 --> 00:35:57.932 Prince Fabious, what is wrong? 00:35:58.099 --> 00:35:59.458 Boremont, seize Julie, 00:35:59.558 --> 00:36:01.002 I'm afraid he's betrayed us! 00:36:01.102 --> 00:36:03.230 That thing is a dickless traitor! 00:36:03.479 --> 00:36:04.981 A traitor, you say. Yes. 00:36:05.147 --> 00:36:07.696 I saw him seeking counsel with Leezar. 00:36:07.858 --> 00:36:10.532 Counsel? With Leezar? 00:36:11.320 --> 00:36:13.514 Well, if what they say is true, 00:36:13.614 --> 00:36:16.413 then, Julie, I have but one question for you. 00:36:16.993 --> 00:36:18.936 What were our master's orders? 00:36:19.036 --> 00:36:20.104 What? 00:36:20.204 --> 00:36:21.421 His orders were simple. 00:36:21.956 --> 00:36:24.550 Capture Fabious and kill the rest. 00:36:24.709 --> 00:36:27.528 Boremont, how could you? 00:36:27.628 --> 00:36:29.155 What about the code of the Knights Elite? 00:36:29.255 --> 00:36:30.302 Code? 00:36:30.589 --> 00:36:32.491 Upon your choice of best man for your wedding, 00:36:32.591 --> 00:36:34.869 your "code" became clear to me. 00:36:34.969 --> 00:36:36.812 You hurt my feelings. 00:36:37.221 --> 00:36:39.064 Now I shall hurt yours. 00:36:40.516 --> 00:36:41.984 Kill them all! 00:36:42.143 --> 00:36:43.770 Look out! 00:36:50.735 --> 00:36:51.719 To the carriage! 00:36:51.819 --> 00:36:53.512 Your friends tried to slay us. 00:36:53.612 --> 00:36:56.240 Those bastards! Get in! 00:37:01.537 --> 00:37:02.647 After them! 00:37:02.747 --> 00:37:03.748 Okay, go! 00:37:14.050 --> 00:37:15.597 We've got company! 00:37:15.760 --> 00:37:16.953 Ready yourselves! 00:37:17.053 --> 00:37:18.305 These men are fierce! 00:37:24.435 --> 00:37:25.561 Oh, gods! 00:37:49.710 --> 00:37:51.212 Under the cart you go! 00:37:55.382 --> 00:37:57.305 Fucking sword! Stab him! 00:37:57.468 --> 00:37:58.720 Stab him! 00:38:04.850 --> 00:38:06.648 You out his hair off! 00:38:17.530 --> 00:38:18.827 Fabious, he's coming! 00:38:18.989 --> 00:38:20.662 I know, get up here! 00:38:27.289 --> 00:38:28.290 Come on! 00:38:31.919 --> 00:38:33.011 Now what? 00:38:33.254 --> 00:38:35.973 I have a plan. We jump on the horses and ride away. 00:38:36.632 --> 00:38:38.225 But the horses, they're moving. 00:38:38.384 --> 00:38:40.307 I know. I know. 00:38:48.602 --> 00:38:49.628 Come on! 00:38:49.728 --> 00:38:50.980 What? Want me, as well? 00:38:51.147 --> 00:38:52.239 Now! 00:38:56.443 --> 00:38:57.990 Face me, you traitor. 00:39:23.345 --> 00:39:24.392 Look! 00:39:43.240 --> 00:39:44.457 We did it! 00:39:49.747 --> 00:39:51.169 Yes! 00:39:54.251 --> 00:39:56.094 If I could have everyone's attention. 00:39:56.629 --> 00:39:59.178 I'd like to say a few words, if I may. 00:39:59.340 --> 00:40:01.684 I have prepared this feast 00:40:01.842 --> 00:40:04.766 in honor and appreciation of Belladonna. 00:40:04.929 --> 00:40:07.164 Seems like it was only yesterday 00:40:07.264 --> 00:40:10.734 that we used sorcery to burn your village to the ground, 00:40:11.268 --> 00:40:12.565 come in and snatch you. 00:40:12.978 --> 00:40:14.130 But I remember looking at you 00:40:14.230 --> 00:40:15.652 all those years ago and thinking, 00:40:16.023 --> 00:40:18.526 "Wow, that's a baby. " 00:40:18.692 --> 00:40:21.662 "And that's the baby that someday I will have to have sex with. " 00:40:21.820 --> 00:40:23.367 Now, look at me. 00:40:23.530 --> 00:40:25.624 A 19-year-old boy, almost a man, 00:40:26.825 --> 00:40:28.372 still a virgin. 00:40:28.535 --> 00:40:29.661 To the fuckening! 00:40:29.828 --> 00:40:31.250 Yes, to the fuckening! 00:40:31.622 --> 00:40:35.718 Leezar, what is this rubbish you have set before us? 00:40:35.876 --> 00:40:38.550 It's such a funny choice for a feast. 00:40:38.712 --> 00:40:40.281 I'm just a little overwhelmed right now. 00:40:40.381 --> 00:40:42.725 Dealing with her and you and the fucking prophecy. 00:40:42.883 --> 00:40:44.076 I mean, we could all just relax... 00:40:44.176 --> 00:40:45.393 Master. 00:40:45.511 --> 00:40:47.184 What do you want, Julie? 00:40:47.429 --> 00:40:49.727 Regrettably, the Princes of Mourne have escaped. 00:40:49.890 --> 00:40:52.234 You should've killed them at the wedding when you had the chance. 00:40:52.393 --> 00:40:53.878 Fabious is of no purpose to us. 00:40:53.978 --> 00:40:55.087 Silence! 00:40:55.187 --> 00:40:58.174 His purpose is to destroy you and your evil ways. 00:40:58.274 --> 00:41:00.551 Would you shut up, or I will love you less. 00:41:00.651 --> 00:41:02.528 Are those fish fingers you're eating? 00:41:02.695 --> 00:41:05.414 No more questions! Now find them! 00:41:08.325 --> 00:41:11.329 Fabious, the horses! They're escaping. 00:41:11.495 --> 00:41:14.920 Yes, it's a distraction to lead them off our trail. 00:41:15.082 --> 00:41:17.210 And what are we to do now? Walk all the way home? 00:41:17.376 --> 00:41:19.862 Home? We're not going home. 00:41:19.962 --> 00:41:20.946 Just because the knights betrayed us 00:41:21.046 --> 00:41:23.094 does not mean we give up on the quest. 00:41:23.257 --> 00:41:25.385 Together we can still accomplish what needs to be done. 00:41:25.551 --> 00:41:27.536 How? We're lost, I'm hungry. 00:41:27.636 --> 00:41:29.872 This stump, it's putting my asshole to sleep. 00:41:29.972 --> 00:41:32.691 Thadeous, your feet are bare. Put your boots on. 00:41:33.058 --> 00:41:35.169 They're filthy, I'm having them exfoliated. 00:41:35.269 --> 00:41:36.862 No time for exfoliation. 00:41:38.856 --> 00:41:40.403 The compass points north. 00:41:40.566 --> 00:41:42.193 We shall follow it still. 00:41:42.568 --> 00:41:45.287 I will not give up till Belladonna is safe in mine arms. 00:41:49.742 --> 00:41:51.710 Simon! Where have you been? 00:41:53.162 --> 00:41:54.334 What? 00:41:54.455 --> 00:41:56.878 I left goddamn Steven back at camp. 00:41:57.249 --> 00:41:58.466 Who's Steven? 00:41:58.625 --> 00:42:00.548 He's my loyal animal companion. 00:42:00.711 --> 00:42:04.056 And he means just as much to me as Simon means to you. 00:42:04.214 --> 00:42:06.717 But I guess I'll never see him again. 00:42:06.884 --> 00:42:09.387 Very well. I understand that bond. 00:42:09.595 --> 00:42:13.691 Let us return to camp, face the traitors and rescue Steven. 00:42:13.807 --> 00:42:15.559 No, fuck it. It's over. 00:42:15.768 --> 00:42:18.587 But, perhaps, since my animal companion is no longer here, 00:42:18.687 --> 00:42:21.031 it's only fair that we get rid of yours as well. 00:42:23.025 --> 00:42:25.278 No, that would serve no purpose, Brother. 00:42:25.444 --> 00:42:27.388 That would be like me asking you to get rid of Courtney 00:42:27.488 --> 00:42:29.240 just because Julie is no longer with us. 00:42:29.448 --> 00:42:31.642 I will drown Courtney in the shallow fucking pond right now 00:42:31.742 --> 00:42:32.851 if that means fair is fair. 00:42:32.951 --> 00:42:34.436 I don't like that idea, sir. 00:42:34.536 --> 00:42:36.480 No, Simon can help us. 00:42:36.580 --> 00:42:37.581 Simon, 00:42:37.915 --> 00:42:40.234 you must take this message to father. 00:42:40.334 --> 00:42:42.861 Tell him that the Knights Elite betrayed us 00:42:42.961 --> 00:42:46.431 and he must send an army across the valley to Muldiss Darton 00:42:46.590 --> 00:42:48.934 and help us retrieve the Blade of Unicorn. 00:42:49.051 --> 00:42:50.160 Hurry, Simon! 00:42:50.260 --> 00:42:53.355 Fly to Mourne and deliver these desperate words. 00:42:53.597 --> 00:42:56.567 Fly! 00:43:01.772 --> 00:43:04.717 Come on, Manious, you've been sniffing dirt all morning. 00:43:04.817 --> 00:43:07.594 We would not be in this position, Julie, 00:43:07.694 --> 00:43:10.538 if you wouldn't have gotten caught communicating with Leezar. 00:43:10.656 --> 00:43:12.766 And if you ladies were proper assassins, 00:43:12.866 --> 00:43:16.291 you'd have cut them down back there as the Dark Lord commanded. 00:43:17.746 --> 00:43:19.464 Manious, what do you see? 00:43:19.706 --> 00:43:22.380 They stepped towards the sun here. 00:43:22.543 --> 00:43:25.797 This blade of grass, one of them pissed on it. 00:43:26.130 --> 00:43:30.180 And then they moved, very quickly, mind, towards... 00:43:30.926 --> 00:43:31.973 There! 00:43:33.846 --> 00:43:35.314 That's Marteetee's land. 00:43:35.472 --> 00:43:36.473 What? 00:43:36.640 --> 00:43:39.393 Our mission may be completed sooner than I expected. 00:43:42.646 --> 00:43:45.299 If I may be so bold, Your Highness, 00:43:45.399 --> 00:43:48.198 what is the meaning of that ribbon that you hold? 00:43:48.485 --> 00:43:50.032 This? 00:43:50.195 --> 00:43:52.056 It's a gift from Belladonna. 00:43:52.156 --> 00:43:54.329 A symbol of her virgin purity. 00:43:54.491 --> 00:43:56.869 I hold it and savor it. 00:43:56.994 --> 00:44:00.123 You do that instead of have sex with her? 00:44:00.289 --> 00:44:02.483 Belladonna is unlike any maiden in the kingdom. 00:44:02.583 --> 00:44:04.401 She behaves without judgment, 00:44:04.501 --> 00:44:06.048 defies expectation. 00:44:06.378 --> 00:44:07.988 When I first heard her voice 00:44:08.088 --> 00:44:09.948 3 teal' Came 110 my eye, 00:44:10.048 --> 00:44:11.742 and that tear turned to ice, 00:44:11.842 --> 00:44:13.786 and I kept that frozen tear 00:44:13.886 --> 00:44:16.389 far from my heart that burns with passion. 00:44:17.347 --> 00:44:18.849 If she had a wound, 00:44:19.016 --> 00:44:21.001 I would kiss it. 00:44:21.101 --> 00:44:23.379 If she had a splinter, 00:44:23.479 --> 00:44:27.029 I would pull it from her flesh with mine lips. 00:44:27.191 --> 00:44:32.368 Just say we are too late and Leezar has had his way with her, 00:44:32.613 --> 00:44:36.208 would you still be able to be with her? 00:44:37.367 --> 00:44:38.869 I don't want to think about that. 00:44:39.036 --> 00:44:40.938 But just say that we were moments late, 00:44:41.038 --> 00:44:44.542 and he was able to get her cookies. 00:44:44.791 --> 00:44:45.859 Shut up. 00:44:45.959 --> 00:44:49.905 Yes, I know, but what if he butt-fucked her? Would you still like her? 00:44:50.005 --> 00:44:51.552 Do I have to write you a poem? 00:44:51.757 --> 00:44:54.260 There's never been a love so true as ours. 00:44:55.385 --> 00:44:56.887 That's pure love. 00:44:57.054 --> 00:44:58.397 Yes, it is. 00:44:58.514 --> 00:44:59.982 No, that's pure love. 00:45:00.224 --> 00:45:02.147 There's a naked woman standing behind you. 00:45:03.852 --> 00:45:05.980 Who is that? 00:45:06.271 --> 00:45:08.194 Is she looking at us? 00:45:08.315 --> 00:45:10.033 Who is it? is it him? Are you looking to him? 00:45:10.234 --> 00:45:12.202 Is it Courtney? Is it to me? 00:45:12.402 --> 00:45:13.654 It's Courtney. I think it's to me. 00:45:14.404 --> 00:45:17.704 I believe she is taking her trousers off. 00:45:17.950 --> 00:45:21.019 Right, I will return momentarily. 00:45:21.119 --> 00:45:22.229 No. 00:45:22.329 --> 00:45:23.546 Thadeous, it might be a trap. 00:45:24.164 --> 00:45:28.294 The only thing those tits will trap is my warm spray. 00:45:28.460 --> 00:45:30.554 Have fun rubbing your ribbon. 00:45:31.088 --> 00:45:32.214 Disgusting. 00:45:33.006 --> 00:45:34.474 Come back here, you. 00:45:36.760 --> 00:45:39.604 I'm beginning to think he doesn't care about this quest. 00:45:39.763 --> 00:45:41.936 What could possibly make you think that, sir? 00:45:43.267 --> 00:45:45.520 Oh, shit! It's a trap. A booby trap. 00:45:46.853 --> 00:45:48.321 It was a trap. 00:45:48.480 --> 00:45:49.982 White people, I knew it! 00:45:50.148 --> 00:45:51.195 White people? 00:45:51.316 --> 00:45:53.010 Are they nice or are they mean? They're mean! 00:45:53.110 --> 00:45:54.407 They're the meanest! 00:45:54.736 --> 00:45:55.762 What do we do? 00:45:55.862 --> 00:45:57.681 I don't know. It is against code to strike a woman. 00:45:57.781 --> 00:45:58.891 I'm sick of your silly codes. 00:45:58.991 --> 00:46:00.288 Punch these ladies in the face! 00:46:10.210 --> 00:46:12.053 Sire, where are they taking us? 00:46:12.212 --> 00:46:14.886 I don't know. Stay close! 00:46:47.205 --> 00:46:48.273 Marteetee. 00:46:48.373 --> 00:46:49.399 Mart-who? 00:46:49.499 --> 00:46:51.752 Silence! 00:46:52.252 --> 00:46:55.096 Good day, my little bees 00:46:55.255 --> 00:46:59.180 and welcome to my most special of events. 00:46:59.676 --> 00:47:02.225 We have a wonderful treat 00:47:02.387 --> 00:47:06.500 as you get to witness a sea of babbling men 00:47:06.600 --> 00:47:08.523 behold their fates. 00:47:10.437 --> 00:47:13.782 Enter, Dastardly! 00:47:28.747 --> 00:47:30.294 Bloodthirsty creatures. 00:47:44.471 --> 00:47:47.975 Brother, if I die, you must promise me to continue our quest. 00:47:58.568 --> 00:48:00.070 No! Him. 00:48:00.237 --> 00:48:01.263 Kill him first! 00:48:01.363 --> 00:48:02.364 Stay away! 00:48:05.409 --> 00:48:06.560 Take the knife. 00:48:06.660 --> 00:48:07.786 Why? 00:48:07.994 --> 00:48:09.371 Watch this. 00:48:25.595 --> 00:48:26.596 Yes! 00:48:26.763 --> 00:48:28.390 No! 00:48:29.599 --> 00:48:31.317 Face! Yes! 00:48:39.276 --> 00:48:41.950 We've bested your finest warrior. 00:48:42.112 --> 00:48:44.206 Now grant us our freedom! 00:48:44.364 --> 00:48:45.390 Yeah! 00:48:45.490 --> 00:48:48.494 Bring Marteetee his cauldron! 00:48:51.163 --> 00:48:52.961 What is the cauldron? 00:48:59.963 --> 00:49:02.366 Are my bees ready 00:49:02.466 --> 00:49:05.595 for the grand finale? 00:49:13.185 --> 00:49:15.859 Yes, my pet! 00:49:15.979 --> 00:49:18.152 Come forth 00:49:18.440 --> 00:49:22.991 and show thy bulbous! 00:49:49.846 --> 00:49:50.847 Oh, gods! 00:49:56.895 --> 00:49:58.112 Over here! 00:50:00.190 --> 00:50:01.988 Hey, over here! 00:50:02.359 --> 00:50:03.611 Over here! 00:50:03.985 --> 00:50:05.487 Bring your fight to me! 00:50:29.052 --> 00:50:30.178 Thadeous! 00:50:31.388 --> 00:50:32.497 Sir! 00:50:32.597 --> 00:50:34.791 I've been bitten! I can't move my leg. 00:50:34.891 --> 00:50:36.063 You've got to suck out the venom. 00:50:36.226 --> 00:50:37.523 I don't want to suck it! You suck it! 00:50:37.644 --> 00:50:38.962 I can't suck my own venom! 00:50:39.062 --> 00:50:40.188 Yes, you can. I'll help you! 00:50:40.355 --> 00:50:42.403 Suck it! Suck your venom. 00:50:42.524 --> 00:50:43.967 I can't reach it with my mouth! 00:50:44.067 --> 00:50:45.093 Courtney, suck the venom! 00:50:45.193 --> 00:50:46.740 I've never sucked... Suck it! 00:50:47.320 --> 00:50:51.575 And who have we here? 00:50:51.783 --> 00:50:54.411 A sprightly little warrior you are. 00:50:54.619 --> 00:50:56.688 Suck it! Right there! Suck it! 00:50:56.788 --> 00:51:00.793 I will make nice when I enter you! 00:51:01.918 --> 00:51:03.511 It's coming! It's coming! 00:51:05.297 --> 00:51:06.514 Courtney spit the load! 00:51:06.673 --> 00:51:08.141 Don't swallow the venom! Spit it! 00:51:10.844 --> 00:51:12.721 Come on! Come on! 00:51:24.357 --> 00:51:25.825 Kill it! Fuck it up! 00:51:31.781 --> 00:51:32.782 Yes! 00:51:49.466 --> 00:51:50.638 What? 00:51:52.052 --> 00:51:57.024 Who is he that dares destroy my beautiful baby? 00:52:01.186 --> 00:52:02.170 It's a woman. 00:52:02.270 --> 00:52:03.380 I can see. 00:52:03.480 --> 00:52:04.527 Marteetee, 00:52:04.814 --> 00:52:06.758 when I was a child you enslaved my father 00:52:06.858 --> 00:52:08.826 and slaughtered him in this very arena. 00:52:09.110 --> 00:52:10.345 Today I avenge him. 00:52:10.445 --> 00:52:13.244 First by killing the beast, second, by killing you. 00:52:13.448 --> 00:52:17.123 Well, well, my tiny bee... 00:52:31.508 --> 00:52:32.976 Let's go! We're going! 00:52:47.983 --> 00:52:49.405 Brother, are you all right? I'm fine! 00:52:49.526 --> 00:52:50.652 Come on, let's go! 00:52:52.237 --> 00:52:53.580 This way! 00:53:05.500 --> 00:53:06.818 Excuse me, my lady. 00:53:06.918 --> 00:53:09.296 May I but speak with you a moment? 00:53:09.754 --> 00:53:11.114 I'd like to introduce myself. 00:53:11.214 --> 00:53:13.387 I am Prince Fabious of Mourne 00:53:13.591 --> 00:53:15.827 and this is my brother, Thadeous, 00:53:15.927 --> 00:53:18.538 and his squire, young Courtney. 00:53:18.638 --> 00:53:19.623 Hello. 00:53:19.723 --> 00:53:22.476 We'd like to thank you for your help with that dread beast. 00:53:22.600 --> 00:53:25.003 I have no time for your maiden pleasantries. 00:53:25.103 --> 00:53:26.588 My quest continues to the north. 00:53:26.688 --> 00:53:28.531 As does ours. 00:53:29.482 --> 00:53:31.259 I thought maybe for the sake of both our quests, 00:53:31.359 --> 00:53:32.702 that we could travel together. 00:53:32.861 --> 00:53:35.205 At least, until we reach civilization. 00:53:35.488 --> 00:53:36.556 Yes, civilization. 00:53:36.656 --> 00:53:38.875 We are good men, we're questing to save my... 00:53:39.034 --> 00:53:40.185 Excuse my brother. 00:53:40.285 --> 00:53:43.164 He's not familiar with the customs of the road. 00:53:43.329 --> 00:53:45.832 Do not touch me. Why are you making me look bad? 00:53:45.957 --> 00:53:48.631 A warrior on the road never divulges the nature of his quest. 00:53:48.877 --> 00:53:51.321 One never knows if his aim may conflict with another's. 00:53:51.421 --> 00:53:53.298 Yes, I was just being nice. 00:53:54.007 --> 00:53:55.617 As we are on the same path, 00:53:55.717 --> 00:53:58.391 I suppose you boys may follow me to Muldiss Darton. 00:53:58.553 --> 00:54:00.647 From there I seek navigation and march alone. 00:54:00.805 --> 00:54:03.729 We thank you. And may we have your name? 00:54:04.184 --> 00:54:05.310 I'm Isabel. 00:54:05.477 --> 00:54:07.946 The last living member of the Harshbarger order. 00:54:08.104 --> 00:54:10.732 Well, Isabel, my brother and myself will ensure 00:54:10.899 --> 00:54:13.259 that you run into no danger while you travel with us. 00:54:13.359 --> 00:54:15.987 With our huge muscles, we shall protect you. 00:54:16.237 --> 00:54:17.614 Who? Protect what? 00:54:17.781 --> 00:54:19.265 To be fair, everyone will protect 00:54:19.365 --> 00:54:21.288 each other equally, I'm certain. 00:54:21.451 --> 00:54:25.456 But we will protect her more because we are men. 00:54:33.588 --> 00:54:35.431 Boo! Gods! 00:54:35.590 --> 00:54:36.716 What are you doing, Brother? 00:54:36.883 --> 00:54:39.386 What right do you have, scaring a man like that? 00:54:39.552 --> 00:54:41.329 Oh. What right have you to spy 00:54:41.429 --> 00:54:43.102 on a bathing woman from the shrubs? 00:54:43.598 --> 00:54:45.566 I'm simply keeping an eye on her. 00:54:45.725 --> 00:54:47.919 She is not like one of our dimwitted chamber maids 00:54:48.019 --> 00:54:49.754 that let me take them from behind. 00:54:49.854 --> 00:54:51.381 This woman has me vexed. 00:54:51.481 --> 00:54:52.882 What exactly would it take for one 00:54:52.982 --> 00:54:54.825 to tame such an adventurous slut? 00:54:55.527 --> 00:54:58.388 I imagine she'd want her man to be honorable, 00:54:58.488 --> 00:55:01.708 bold, brave, know his way around a blade. 00:55:01.908 --> 00:55:05.708 Oh, god, she's looking at us. Remain perfectly still. 00:55:29.269 --> 00:55:31.943 We're almost out of wood. 00:55:33.606 --> 00:55:37.031 Courtney, perhaps you and I should go and collect some firewood. 00:55:37.318 --> 00:55:38.344 Yeah. 00:55:38.444 --> 00:55:41.994 If you two wouldn't mind tending these embers. 00:55:42.448 --> 00:55:43.495 No, of course not. 00:55:43.992 --> 00:55:45.619 Tend away. 00:56:00.258 --> 00:56:03.353 Care for another bite of some meat? 00:56:07.974 --> 00:56:10.477 You're not much for talking, are you? 00:56:10.643 --> 00:56:13.863 A true warrior must keep her focus on the road. 00:56:14.022 --> 00:56:16.741 One never knows when death might be dealt. 00:56:16.858 --> 00:56:18.485 Yes, of course. 00:56:19.152 --> 00:56:20.845 I've been involved in many 00:56:20.945 --> 00:56:24.040 death dealings in focus-al moments. 00:56:24.199 --> 00:56:25.850 Yes, by your childish shrieks 00:56:25.950 --> 00:56:27.310 in the face of Marteetee's beast, 00:56:27.410 --> 00:56:29.229 one could see as much. 00:56:29.329 --> 00:56:30.956 What exactly is your problem with me? 00:56:31.164 --> 00:56:33.775 Do you have a sword stuck so far up your butt-hole 00:56:33.875 --> 00:56:36.549 that you cannot even enjoy yourself for one moment? 00:56:36.669 --> 00:56:39.218 My quest affords me no such luxury. 00:56:39.380 --> 00:56:41.553 Not even on a tender night like this? 00:56:41.841 --> 00:56:43.368 The moons glimmering, 00:56:43.468 --> 00:56:46.187 the cold air licking your tits. 00:56:46.512 --> 00:56:50.358 On a night just like this I returned home from a hunt 00:56:50.516 --> 00:56:52.393 to find a bloodbath. 00:56:52.560 --> 00:56:54.712 Nothing remained of my six beloved brothers 00:56:54.812 --> 00:56:57.048 save for their severed heads on stakes. 00:56:57.148 --> 00:56:58.925 Their eyes had been plucked, 00:56:59.025 --> 00:57:01.261 their teeth taken as tokens. 00:57:01.361 --> 00:57:05.036 I wear this bracelet, forged of the steel of their shields, 00:57:05.198 --> 00:57:07.747 as a constant reminder of my vow to avenge them. 00:57:07.909 --> 00:57:11.437 My only advice would just be to keep your head up, 00:57:11.537 --> 00:57:12.981 hang in there, 00:57:13.081 --> 00:57:15.175 live every day to the fullest, 00:57:15.375 --> 00:57:17.026 have sex as much as you can 00:57:17.126 --> 00:57:18.673 by campfire when you're all alone 00:57:18.836 --> 00:57:20.884 and your brother is out gathering wood. 00:57:21.047 --> 00:57:22.515 Just simple things like that. 00:57:24.842 --> 00:57:26.890 Do you think he'll make love with her tonight? 00:57:27.053 --> 00:57:28.851 Not a chance. 00:57:32.392 --> 00:57:35.692 Either way, I've spent a lifetime often envious of him. 00:57:35.853 --> 00:57:36.900 Envious of Thadeous? 00:57:37.397 --> 00:57:40.901 All the times that he could sit back and have a laugh 00:57:41.067 --> 00:57:43.741 and really enjoy the moment. 00:57:43.903 --> 00:57:46.347 And I was up on stage 00:57:46.447 --> 00:57:49.142 wearing make-up to cover my acne. 00:57:49.242 --> 00:57:51.791 My hair perfectly coiffed, even for war. 00:57:53.579 --> 00:57:56.628 I think you misunderstand the situation. 00:57:56.791 --> 00:58:02.048 He constantly gazes at you with such eager eyes. 00:58:02.588 --> 00:58:05.262 Sometimes he borrows your armor 00:58:05.425 --> 00:58:09.495 and he prances around the courtyard, flailing your sword, 00:58:09.595 --> 00:58:12.165 going, "I am Fabious! 00:58:12.265 --> 00:58:14.438 "Look at me slay dragon. " 00:58:15.977 --> 00:58:18.651 He does it out of love. He loves you, sir. 00:58:19.230 --> 00:58:20.777 He adores you. 00:58:23.234 --> 00:58:26.488 I know tragedy as well. My mother is dead. 00:58:26.654 --> 00:58:28.782 I have someone dead in my family, too. 00:58:28.948 --> 00:58:31.017 Also, recently 00:58:31.117 --> 00:58:34.212 my brother's bride-to-be was stolen 00:58:34.454 --> 00:58:36.297 by a devious wizard. 00:58:36.581 --> 00:58:37.878 Wizard? 00:58:40.418 --> 00:58:41.840 If you could keep a secret, 00:58:42.962 --> 00:58:44.364 it was Leezar. 00:58:44.464 --> 00:58:45.636 Leezar? 00:58:48.426 --> 00:58:50.703 I understand he's a very dangerous man. 00:58:50.803 --> 00:58:53.477 That's why Fabious turned to me. 00:58:53.639 --> 00:58:56.893 The most bold and brave and honorable man that he knows. 00:58:58.061 --> 00:59:00.314 We aim to kill the magical cocksucker. 00:59:00.646 --> 00:59:02.398 Do you see this compass? 00:59:02.815 --> 00:59:04.909 What a fascinating device. 00:59:05.860 --> 00:59:08.363 It will lead us to a labyrinth which holds a blade. 00:59:08.529 --> 00:59:12.329 The only weapon strong enough to defeat the wizard. 00:59:12.492 --> 00:59:15.166 Well, perhaps I misjudged you. 00:59:15.328 --> 00:59:16.830 It's not your fault. 00:59:16.996 --> 00:59:19.795 I know I may seem like I have a rugged exterior, 00:59:19.957 --> 00:59:24.838 but underneath it all, I have a golden heart that beats and beats. 00:59:42.021 --> 00:59:44.194 So beautiful. 00:59:48.528 --> 00:59:50.246 That poor creature. 00:59:57.829 --> 00:59:58.921 That's right. 01:00:02.750 --> 01:00:03.922 Look at yourself. 01:00:04.085 --> 01:00:06.929 Why would anyone ever want to be with you? 01:00:07.046 --> 01:00:08.990 Hmm. I'm not sure, really. 01:00:09.090 --> 01:00:10.950 Oh, yeah. Perhaps, because I'm rich, 01:00:11.050 --> 01:00:13.223 I live in a castle and I can do magic. 01:00:13.386 --> 01:00:19.268 Okay, then why did you need to kidnap me if you're so desirable? 01:00:19.434 --> 01:00:22.062 Because I'm the prophecy born, maybe. 01:00:22.228 --> 01:00:24.356 Or I'm going to have a dragon soon 01:00:24.522 --> 01:00:25.798 which I'll be able to control, 01:00:25.898 --> 01:00:27.400 and it's going to give me ultimate power. 01:00:27.567 --> 01:00:29.802 How? Because you can make a dragon do things? 01:00:29.902 --> 01:00:32.430 Yes. I could make it devour people 01:00:32.530 --> 01:00:34.908 or breathe fire over the Kingdom of Mourne. 01:00:35.074 --> 01:00:36.809 Sounds flimsy. 01:00:36.909 --> 01:00:38.644 First of all, you obviously don't know 01:00:38.744 --> 01:00:40.746 jack shit about the prophecy. 01:00:40.913 --> 01:00:43.917 How do you know that it won't be me who controls the dragon? 01:00:44.083 --> 01:00:46.552 Because I am the chosen one. 01:00:46.711 --> 01:00:50.056 Chosen one controls the dragon. 01:00:50.214 --> 01:00:51.841 Those are the rules, basically. 01:00:54.802 --> 01:00:56.270 What are you laughing at? 01:00:56.429 --> 01:00:57.747 I was just thinking about your penis 01:00:57.847 --> 01:01:00.066 and how unusual it must look. 01:01:00.850 --> 01:01:02.418 It doesn't look unusual. 01:01:02.518 --> 01:01:04.111 How do you know it's going to work? 01:01:04.312 --> 01:01:06.360 Because I've tested it. Really? 01:01:06.772 --> 01:01:10.618 And if your vagina is anything like my hand 01:01:10.776 --> 01:01:13.620 there will be no problem. 01:01:17.116 --> 01:01:20.061 Fair warriors, arise. 01:01:20.161 --> 01:01:22.271 Two days before the eclipse. 01:01:22.371 --> 01:01:25.525 Thadeous, hand me the compass so I can check its shadow. 01:01:25.625 --> 01:01:26.692 What? 01:01:26.792 --> 01:01:27.918 The compass. 01:01:31.005 --> 01:01:32.490 That's weird. 01:01:32.590 --> 01:01:34.809 It was around my neck when I slept. 01:01:34.967 --> 01:01:36.469 Where is it, Thadeous? 01:01:36.636 --> 01:01:38.479 I don't know. I just woke up. 01:01:38.721 --> 01:01:40.849 Isabel seems to have gone. 01:01:46.354 --> 01:01:47.446 Thadeous, 01:01:47.688 --> 01:01:49.048 you didn't by chance tell her 01:01:49.148 --> 01:01:51.651 anything about the nature of our quest, did you? 01:01:52.151 --> 01:01:54.654 I may have dropped 01:01:54.820 --> 01:01:56.663 a few minor details. 01:01:56.822 --> 01:01:58.540 Did you tell Isabel 01:01:58.950 --> 01:02:02.875 anything about the one-of-a-kind mythical compass? 01:02:06.332 --> 01:02:07.879 Gods! 01:02:08.042 --> 01:02:09.544 She's run off with the compass. 01:02:09.710 --> 01:02:11.446 We don't know that for sure. Oh, yeah? 01:02:11.546 --> 01:02:14.550 Where is it? Where is she? 01:02:14.715 --> 01:02:16.909 All right, well, it wasn't my fault. 01:02:17.009 --> 01:02:19.287 I was falling madly in love with her. 01:02:19.387 --> 01:02:21.622 I was bedazzled by her sweet bosom. 01:02:21.722 --> 01:02:22.707 I was helpless. 01:02:22.807 --> 01:02:23.854 You fool! 01:02:24.016 --> 01:02:27.378 Without the compass, how do we find the Blade of Unicorn? 01:02:27.478 --> 01:02:29.856 And without that sword, how do we defeat Leezar? 01:02:30.022 --> 01:02:33.026 Maybe we can find some other way, with nets or something. 01:02:33.192 --> 01:02:34.364 Nets? 01:02:34.527 --> 01:02:36.029 Oh, that's a great plan. 01:02:36.195 --> 01:02:38.994 And meanwhile, Belladonna's going to get raped and die! 01:02:39.198 --> 01:02:41.371 We don't know for sure if she'll die. 01:02:41.534 --> 01:02:42.977 Is this a joke to you? 01:02:43.077 --> 01:02:45.771 Look, I'm sorry, but I shouldn't even be here. 01:02:45.871 --> 01:02:48.441 We've almost been killed multiple times. 01:02:48.541 --> 01:02:50.293 I will probably die on this quest. 01:02:50.418 --> 01:02:52.512 Courtney definitely will. 01:02:53.379 --> 01:02:55.598 Fuck Courtney, and fuck you! 01:02:55.756 --> 01:02:58.600 Maybe they're right, everything they say about you. 01:02:58.759 --> 01:03:00.536 They only say that stuff because of you, 01:03:00.636 --> 01:03:03.164 because you go out and have to pretend to be the best. 01:03:03.264 --> 01:03:05.249 And they look at me like I'm some sort of idiot. 01:03:05.349 --> 01:03:07.397 Everyone in the kingdom wants to suck your dick. 01:03:07.560 --> 01:03:09.938 No one wants to suck mine! 01:03:10.938 --> 01:03:13.032 Oh, Thadeous, 01:03:13.190 --> 01:03:16.285 you have the potential to be such a noble warrior, 01:03:16.444 --> 01:03:19.038 but instead you just let yourself go, 01:03:19.196 --> 01:03:21.119 and everyone around you. 01:03:21.282 --> 01:03:24.126 You have no idea what it's like to be me. 01:03:24.285 --> 01:03:26.458 Being your brother is a curse. 01:03:26.621 --> 01:03:29.921 I'd rather be brothers with anyone else but you. 01:03:34.295 --> 01:03:37.990 You say nothing else for fear of what I might do. 01:03:38.090 --> 01:03:39.888 Nothing! 01:03:41.636 --> 01:03:44.310 Now get dressed and comb your hair. 01:03:44.472 --> 01:03:45.940 I'm going to Muldiss Darton. 01:04:12.124 --> 01:04:13.751 Sex. 01:04:23.761 --> 01:04:25.684 Come on, Courtney. 01:04:25.846 --> 01:04:27.189 Come on. 01:04:37.316 --> 01:04:41.196 For better or worse, we're here. Muldiss Darton. 01:04:54.458 --> 01:04:55.776 You and Courtney entertain yourselves. 01:04:55.876 --> 01:04:57.486 I'm going off to find the sword alone. 01:04:57.586 --> 01:04:58.613 Alone? 01:04:58.713 --> 01:05:00.364 I can't afford to waste any more time. 01:05:00.464 --> 01:05:03.013 Well, what are we to do? 01:05:03.175 --> 01:05:05.724 Do whatever it is you do, Thadeous. 01:05:08.681 --> 01:05:12.026 Well, obviously he's still upset. 01:05:21.819 --> 01:05:23.742 Oh, gods, Courtney. 01:05:23.904 --> 01:05:25.531 How my heart laments. 01:05:25.698 --> 01:05:29.498 Having been betrayed by the sways of a beautiful woman. 01:05:29.660 --> 01:05:32.605 And Fabious, throwing his goddamn tantrums 01:05:32.705 --> 01:05:35.549 with no regard for anyone else's feelings. 01:05:35.833 --> 01:05:37.985 He really needs to consider... 01:05:38.085 --> 01:05:39.862 Sir, look over there. 01:05:39.962 --> 01:05:42.465 It's that thieving Isabel. 01:05:43.340 --> 01:05:46.093 My gods! The balls of this woman! 01:05:47.178 --> 01:05:49.055 Do you think any of those men are her boyfriends? 01:05:49.221 --> 01:05:50.331 Possibly. 01:05:50.431 --> 01:05:52.229 Who would ever want to be her boyfriend? 01:05:52.349 --> 01:05:53.441 What do we do? 01:05:53.559 --> 01:05:55.061 I'll tell you what we do. 01:05:55.227 --> 01:05:57.963 We go over there, we get the compass back, 01:05:58.063 --> 01:05:59.465 we give it to Fabious, 01:05:59.565 --> 01:06:00.925 we make him feel horrible 01:06:01.025 --> 01:06:02.493 for the way in which he treated me, 01:06:02.610 --> 01:06:04.362 and then you and I head for home. 01:06:04.612 --> 01:06:06.910 You believe it to be as easy as that, sir? 01:06:07.072 --> 01:06:10.747 Courtney, she is a woman, and we are a man. 01:06:11.452 --> 01:06:14.080 How hard could this be? 01:06:14.246 --> 01:06:15.919 It's my birthday today, you know. 01:06:16.081 --> 01:06:17.458 Fuck that. 01:06:45.361 --> 01:06:46.345 Boremont! 01:06:46.445 --> 01:06:48.243 You dare to betray me twice? 01:06:48.405 --> 01:06:50.266 No, it's the same betrayal as before. 01:06:50.366 --> 01:06:51.767 It all just counts as one. 01:06:51.867 --> 01:06:55.121 I suggest you surrender before my father's army gets here. 01:06:55.329 --> 01:06:58.503 After Simon's message, they should be arriving nigh on now. 01:06:58.666 --> 01:07:00.860 Ah, yes. 01:07:00.960 --> 01:07:03.463 About your tin pet. 01:07:06.173 --> 01:07:07.846 Simon. 01:07:11.178 --> 01:07:12.747 Best of luck with your quest. 01:07:12.847 --> 01:07:14.520 And you with yours. 01:07:19.603 --> 01:07:21.822 Not so fast, trickster. 01:07:22.106 --> 01:07:23.858 Hello, Thadeous. 01:07:24.024 --> 01:07:25.384 The time for pleasantries is through. 01:07:25.484 --> 01:07:27.202 Do you feel that tiny prick in your back? 01:07:27.361 --> 01:07:28.533 Is that your cock? 01:07:28.696 --> 01:07:32.200 No, 't is a knife, but I'll gladly penetrate you with it. 01:07:32.366 --> 01:07:33.993 Now look over your shoulder. 01:07:34.159 --> 01:07:36.161 Other shoulder. 01:07:39.206 --> 01:07:40.833 Frightening. 01:07:41.000 --> 01:07:44.379 We have you surrounded. An animal in a cage. 01:07:44.545 --> 01:07:46.218 Now sit. 01:07:52.845 --> 01:07:56.791 So, who were those handsome men you were talking to? 01:07:56.891 --> 01:07:58.417 My contacts. 01:07:58.517 --> 01:07:59.919 By contacts do you mean 01:08:00.019 --> 01:08:02.713 men you trick into liking you so you can fuck them over? 01:08:02.813 --> 01:08:04.089 What are you talking about? 01:08:04.189 --> 01:08:05.216 You know what I'm talking about. 01:08:05.316 --> 01:08:06.818 The compass. Hand it over now. 01:08:06.984 --> 01:08:08.361 You lied. It does nothing. 01:08:08.611 --> 01:08:11.472 Maybe if you would've gone to the Wize Wizard like we did, 01:08:11.572 --> 01:08:15.202 he could have explained to you that it only works in sunlight. 01:08:15.367 --> 01:08:16.602 Really? 01:08:16.702 --> 01:08:18.545 Shit, I shouldn't have told you that. 01:08:18.662 --> 01:08:20.397 Isn't the Wize Wizard a pervert? 01:08:20.497 --> 01:08:21.544 Yes. 01:08:22.041 --> 01:08:23.884 Sadly, I think he molested my brother. 01:08:24.376 --> 01:08:25.611 That's unfortunate. 01:08:25.711 --> 01:08:28.089 Enough of your sympathy. The compass. Give it. 01:08:28.255 --> 01:08:30.223 I need it to destroy Leezar. 01:08:30.382 --> 01:08:31.679 Your quest is to kill Leezar? 01:08:31.842 --> 01:08:34.721 Yes. My family is the order of the Golden Knights. 01:08:34.887 --> 01:08:37.936 We're sworn to obstruct the prophecy of the dragon eclipse. 01:08:38.349 --> 01:08:39.771 That's what the Golden Knights do? 01:08:39.934 --> 01:08:41.794 It is my legacy to stop anyone 01:08:41.894 --> 01:08:43.862 who wants to fuck to make dragons. 01:08:44.021 --> 01:08:47.007 Yuck. Well, that's the same thing we're trying to do. 01:08:47.107 --> 01:08:49.280 Why would you hinder us and steal the compass? 01:08:49.401 --> 01:08:51.779 His mothers sent my brothers to their death. 01:08:51.987 --> 01:08:53.722 I must stop Leezar and I can't afford 01:08:53.822 --> 01:08:55.290 to let anyone get in my way. 01:08:55.407 --> 01:08:57.910 Least of all, a slob and his boy. 01:08:58.077 --> 01:08:59.979 Guess what? I despise you. 01:09:00.079 --> 01:09:02.081 You're a bully and a whore. 01:09:02.247 --> 01:09:04.045 Now give me the compass now. 01:09:04.208 --> 01:09:05.192 And if I don't? 01:09:05.292 --> 01:09:06.339 Well, 01:09:09.755 --> 01:09:11.428 then things will get very nasty. 01:09:11.590 --> 01:09:12.591 Oh, really? 01:09:12.758 --> 01:09:14.305 Oh, really. 01:09:26.563 --> 01:09:28.440 Oh! God! Courtney, fucking do something. 01:09:28.607 --> 01:09:29.950 Your Highness! 01:09:30.109 --> 01:09:31.110 Excuse me. 01:09:31.276 --> 01:09:32.277 What the fuck? 01:09:38.283 --> 01:09:39.660 Take that shit outside! 01:09:42.705 --> 01:09:43.797 Oh, sorry. 01:09:53.298 --> 01:09:54.390 Hello. 01:10:29.501 --> 01:10:32.071 Thank you for the hospitality, gentlemen. 01:10:32.171 --> 01:10:33.614 That didn't really go as planned. 01:10:33.714 --> 01:10:35.240 She's gone and now so is the compass. 01:10:35.340 --> 01:10:37.058 She is, indeed, gone, sir. 01:10:37.217 --> 01:10:39.995 The compass, however, is right here. 01:10:40.095 --> 01:10:41.768 Courtney, my good man. 01:10:42.973 --> 01:10:44.124 How did you do it? 01:10:44.224 --> 01:10:45.417 Before your father bought me, 01:10:45.517 --> 01:10:48.754 I was a sex slave for a band of gypsies in the north 01:10:48.854 --> 01:10:52.154 and they taught me a thing or two about sleight-of-hand. 01:10:52.357 --> 01:10:53.859 Oh, you. 01:10:54.026 --> 01:10:55.699 Now you see me, now you don't. 01:10:56.236 --> 01:10:57.283 Delicious. 01:11:00.157 --> 01:11:01.809 I can't wait to see the look 01:11:01.909 --> 01:11:04.603 on Fabious' silly face when he sees this. 01:11:04.703 --> 01:11:05.704 Clear! 01:11:10.709 --> 01:11:11.735 Fabious. 01:11:11.835 --> 01:11:13.508 What do we do? 01:11:14.046 --> 01:11:15.218 I'll tell you what we do. 01:11:15.339 --> 01:11:18.513 We will steal a steed and we will ride to the next town. 01:11:18.717 --> 01:11:20.327 We become ghosts, start a brand new life, 01:11:20.427 --> 01:11:22.788 one where you still serve me. And we're stable boys, 01:11:22.888 --> 01:11:24.498 and we bed the fickle wives of farmers. 01:11:24.598 --> 01:11:25.791 What about Fabious? 01:11:25.891 --> 01:11:27.017 Oh, Fabious. 01:11:27.184 --> 01:11:28.419 We'll remember him fondly. 01:11:28.519 --> 01:11:31.088 I really think we should try and rescue him. 01:11:31.188 --> 01:11:33.441 But, how, Courtney? You are weak, and I am hungry. 01:11:34.608 --> 01:11:37.908 You deceitful pricks. You stole the compass from me. 01:11:38.070 --> 01:11:40.472 Who? I didn't. Courtney did. 01:11:40.572 --> 01:11:42.324 Please have mercy on us, lady warrior. 01:11:42.908 --> 01:11:45.536 Fabious has been captured by Leezar and his men. 01:11:45.702 --> 01:11:47.271 He was captured? 01:11:47.371 --> 01:11:48.463 Yes. 01:11:48.789 --> 01:11:51.542 We got into a huge swordfight 01:11:51.708 --> 01:11:53.485 and we were able to escape 01:11:53.585 --> 01:11:55.462 and he was not. 01:11:55.587 --> 01:11:57.464 I know how you're feeling inside. 01:11:57.631 --> 01:11:58.657 As if you cannot rest 01:11:58.757 --> 01:12:02.453 until you destroy those who harmed your family. 01:12:02.553 --> 01:12:06.373 You want to skin them alive then wear their flesh as a cape 01:12:06.473 --> 01:12:09.568 as you dance around their convulsing corpses. 01:12:10.936 --> 01:12:11.920 Yes, of course. 01:12:12.020 --> 01:12:13.112 Yes. 01:12:13.272 --> 01:12:15.320 That feeling is all too familiar. 01:12:15.607 --> 01:12:16.925 It's been burning in my beaver 01:12:17.025 --> 01:12:19.198 since the day I lost my brothers. 01:12:19.611 --> 01:12:21.158 We've had our differences, 01:12:21.822 --> 01:12:23.348 but if we work together, 01:12:23.448 --> 01:12:26.418 we can save your brother, avenge my family, 01:12:26.577 --> 01:12:29.456 and destroy Leezar once and for all. 01:12:30.289 --> 01:12:32.963 This woman is mad. 01:12:52.519 --> 01:12:54.442 I believe we found our labyrinth. 01:12:54.855 --> 01:12:58.155 Where? The compass has led us to a dead end. 01:12:58.317 --> 01:13:00.285 Shall we return home? 01:13:00.444 --> 01:13:02.346 It appears as though there's something written here 01:13:02.446 --> 01:13:04.289 in the language of the Highland Dwarf. 01:13:04.656 --> 01:13:05.953 I can't read it. 01:13:06.116 --> 01:13:10.667 Sir, you're well-versed in the Highland Dwarf language, aren't you? 01:13:10.996 --> 01:13:13.169 You read Dwarf, Thadeous? 01:13:13.332 --> 01:13:16.211 I have had encounters with those people, yes. 01:13:16.376 --> 01:13:18.970 Really? Well, then what does it say? 01:13:19.713 --> 01:13:21.181 Fucker. 01:13:29.681 --> 01:13:31.058 It's nonsense. 01:13:31.225 --> 01:13:34.962 It says, "What leads you here will lead you there. " 01:13:35.062 --> 01:13:36.296 It's rubbish. 01:13:36.396 --> 01:13:37.965 Highland Dwarves are a silly culture. 01:13:38.065 --> 01:13:41.160 Oftentimes they speak and I have no idea what they're talking about. 01:13:43.862 --> 01:13:45.034 What is she doing? 01:13:45.364 --> 01:13:46.786 Perfect fit. 01:14:07.719 --> 01:14:08.811 You coming? 01:14:53.265 --> 01:14:54.858 What is that foul stench? 01:14:56.059 --> 01:14:57.652 What was that noise? 01:14:57.811 --> 01:15:01.441 I don't know, Courtney. But I don't like this. 01:15:11.992 --> 01:15:14.461 I fear we're not alone in here. 01:15:37.517 --> 01:15:40.145 What is that thing? I don't know, but run! 01:15:44.316 --> 01:15:45.533 Isabel! 01:15:51.990 --> 01:15:53.492 Sir? 01:15:53.867 --> 01:15:55.769 Help! Your Highness! 01:15:55.869 --> 01:15:57.371 Courtney! 01:15:57.537 --> 01:15:58.584 Thadeous! 01:15:58.830 --> 01:16:00.565 Isabel! 01:16:00.665 --> 01:16:03.339 Companions, where are you? 01:16:05.837 --> 01:16:08.716 Courtney! Hello? 01:16:08.882 --> 01:16:10.179 Thadeous! 01:16:16.348 --> 01:16:17.440 Where are you, sire? 01:17:10.193 --> 01:17:13.242 This is the Blade of Unicorn? 01:17:13.405 --> 01:17:15.282 It's just bones. 01:17:21.037 --> 01:17:23.085 You've found it. 01:17:24.124 --> 01:17:25.876 Who said that? 01:17:26.376 --> 01:17:31.303 'Tis I, the soul of this maze and protector of the blade. 01:17:31.465 --> 01:17:33.200 'Tis my duty to ensure 01:17:33.300 --> 01:17:37.579 only a true hero carries the blade from this tomb. 01:17:37.679 --> 01:17:38.830 Okay. 01:17:38.930 --> 01:17:40.999 Say, for instance, a man entered here 01:17:41.099 --> 01:17:43.168 by accident who wasn't a true hero. 01:17:43.268 --> 01:17:44.986 What would happen to him? 01:17:45.103 --> 01:17:46.650 Death. 01:17:47.272 --> 01:17:48.615 I see. Well, 01:17:49.107 --> 01:17:50.654 I am no true hero. 01:17:50.817 --> 01:17:55.163 So I would like to just place the sword back where I found it, 01:17:55.322 --> 01:17:58.622 and then I will go my way, and you won't kill me, 01:17:58.783 --> 01:18:00.501 and that will be that, okay? 01:18:00.660 --> 01:18:01.912 Go? 01:18:02.078 --> 01:18:04.501 Where would you like to go? 01:18:08.251 --> 01:18:09.403 Is that... 01:18:09.503 --> 01:18:11.255 Your home. 01:18:11.421 --> 01:18:14.766 Okay, well, I would surely go there. That would be fine. 01:18:14.883 --> 01:18:17.536 Shall I just slide the sword back into the thingy, 01:18:17.636 --> 01:18:19.746 or place it gently upon the ground? 01:18:19.846 --> 01:18:21.894 And if I told you that your brother 01:18:22.057 --> 01:18:24.793 will die without the help of this blade, 01:18:24.893 --> 01:18:27.671 would you still walk through that door? 01:18:27.771 --> 01:18:30.490 Without the blade, Fabious will be helpless against Leezar. 01:18:31.691 --> 01:18:34.261 Shut your magical hole. Why are you showing me this? 01:18:34.361 --> 01:18:36.989 it's what you wanted, is it not? 01:18:37.364 --> 01:18:38.661 Your brother gone. 01:18:38.782 --> 01:18:41.126 You'll be king of all the land. 01:18:41.576 --> 01:18:43.795 Think of the power, 01:18:43.954 --> 01:18:47.754 the women, the bush, the sticky-icky, the honeypots. 01:18:47.916 --> 01:18:51.136 Well, it would be nice to be king. 01:18:51.294 --> 01:18:55.344 And all you have to do is forget about the blade. 01:18:55.507 --> 01:19:00.809 Leave it where you found it and never think of this place again. 01:19:03.306 --> 01:19:07.812 That's very sweet but I am not a female Minotaur. 01:19:10.480 --> 01:19:12.403 His worm is tickling me. 01:19:18.154 --> 01:19:19.531 Get off of me! 01:19:20.532 --> 01:19:22.409 I'm not enjoying this! 01:19:23.994 --> 01:19:25.337 Get off me. 01:19:57.360 --> 01:19:59.362 Did you just see that? 01:19:59.529 --> 01:20:02.203 I came back for you all! I saved you! 01:20:02.324 --> 01:20:03.871 What, you were going to leave us? 01:20:04.492 --> 01:20:06.369 No, of course not. 01:20:06.870 --> 01:20:08.897 Is that the... 01:20:08.997 --> 01:20:10.419 Blade of Unicorn? 01:20:10.749 --> 01:20:13.844 Yes, my companions, it is. 01:20:14.002 --> 01:20:15.379 It's so beautiful. 01:20:15.545 --> 01:20:18.219 it's very, very sharp. 01:20:20.383 --> 01:20:22.431 Come here, you silly. 01:20:25.096 --> 01:20:27.098 What are you doing? 01:20:27.265 --> 01:20:31.896 I was just trying to cut this horn as a souvenir of my kill, 01:20:32.062 --> 01:20:33.985 but it's proving to be a bit of a bitch. 01:20:35.231 --> 01:20:38.451 You can never sever the horn of a Minotaur. 01:20:46.743 --> 01:20:48.144 Only a champion man 01:20:48.244 --> 01:20:51.147 would hold the Blade of Unicorn in his hands. 01:20:51.247 --> 01:20:54.467 And I, Thadeous, am that man. 01:20:55.627 --> 01:20:57.612 I have seen the pain in my reflection 01:20:57.712 --> 01:21:01.467 and watched the strength of my brother, unflinching. 01:21:02.801 --> 01:21:04.769 My quest is one of love, 01:21:04.928 --> 01:21:08.432 but also in this moment of forgiveness, of redemption, 01:21:08.598 --> 01:21:10.896 even amongst the smallest of foes. 01:21:18.942 --> 01:21:20.969 My path has been unstable 01:21:21.069 --> 01:21:25.015 but my conviction is born to damn the fuckers who doubted me. 01:21:25.115 --> 01:21:27.493 To lessen the assholes who tested me. 01:21:36.126 --> 01:21:38.299 To right what is wrong. 01:21:39.129 --> 01:21:42.975 To restore faith that has long been lost. 01:21:43.133 --> 01:21:46.077 And to rise to great heights even beyond my own legend 01:21:46.177 --> 01:21:49.331 as a great cocksmith, master pintsman, 01:21:49.431 --> 01:21:54.187 and stunningly handsome prince of light in these dark Dark Ages- 01:21:56.479 --> 01:21:58.048 True trials await, 01:21:58.148 --> 01:22:00.216 and I will greet thee with the hammer of my fist 01:22:00.316 --> 01:22:03.115 and the slide of my sword. 01:22:04.320 --> 01:22:07.474 As the fog clears, I will follow the voice that guides me. 01:22:07.574 --> 01:22:12.045 My love, my heart, my gods. 01:22:12.162 --> 01:22:13.980 The time is now! 01:22:14.080 --> 01:22:16.424 Let us quest! 01:22:17.625 --> 01:22:21.846 At long last, I have you firmly in my grasp. 01:22:22.005 --> 01:22:24.508 The pesky Prince Fabious. 01:22:24.674 --> 01:22:27.911 The little sneak who time and time again 01:22:28.011 --> 01:22:29.934 has foiled every one of my plots. 01:22:30.305 --> 01:22:32.979 Who has slain every one of my beasts. 01:22:33.141 --> 01:22:36.190 Who has bested me without fail until now. 01:22:36.352 --> 01:22:40.027 Do what you will to me. But unhand my love. 01:22:40.356 --> 01:22:42.404 Let Belladonna go! 01:22:42.525 --> 01:22:44.243 Cast your glance heavenward 01:22:44.360 --> 01:22:48.035 and know that when the ceiling parts, and the moons align, 01:22:48.281 --> 01:22:51.376 I will be entering your love. 01:22:51.493 --> 01:22:53.541 Sacrilege! You wretched wizard. 01:22:53.703 --> 01:22:57.458 My mothers have already moistened Belladonna for foreplay. 01:22:57.624 --> 01:23:00.127 You'll excuse me if I take my leave. 01:23:01.711 --> 01:23:03.213 I shall kill you! 01:23:03.838 --> 01:23:06.616 Julie, Julie, get me out of here. 01:23:06.716 --> 01:23:08.618 Leezar has a hold of your mind. 01:23:08.718 --> 01:23:10.641 He has allowed me to get even with you. 01:23:11.221 --> 01:23:13.790 For too long you and your family 01:23:13.890 --> 01:23:16.109 have treated me like an employee. 01:23:16.643 --> 01:23:18.645 Yeah, you were my slave. 01:23:19.270 --> 01:23:21.131 Yes, well not anymore. 01:23:21.231 --> 01:23:23.383 Boremont, my comrade. 01:23:23.483 --> 01:23:25.802 Please, get me out of here. 01:23:25.902 --> 01:23:30.473 If Leezar wins tonight, the entire world will tumble into darkness. 01:23:30.573 --> 01:23:33.076 My heart has soured on this world long ago. 01:23:33.535 --> 01:23:36.129 Perhaps a regime change is just what it's needed. 01:23:36.246 --> 01:23:39.921 Boremont, you gave your hand for me. Now you're taking my heart. 01:23:40.124 --> 01:23:42.547 We used to have fucking picnics together. 01:23:42.710 --> 01:23:44.804 Remember when we crossed swords and touched tips? 01:23:45.255 --> 01:23:46.347 Do you remember? 01:23:46.548 --> 01:23:48.642 Look at me, Boremont! 01:23:48.883 --> 01:23:50.351 Don't do this. 01:23:50.844 --> 01:23:52.579 Anyway, so that you don't feel like 01:23:52.679 --> 01:23:54.372 you're missing out on any of the fun, 01:23:54.472 --> 01:23:57.726 let me introduce you to my friend, Timotay. 01:23:58.142 --> 01:24:00.420 As Leezar enters Belladonna, 01:24:00.520 --> 01:24:03.339 he will lower you onto that spike, 01:24:03.439 --> 01:24:06.613 thereby giving you a good poking as well. 01:24:07.193 --> 01:24:09.321 Belladonna, I love you! 01:24:25.211 --> 01:24:26.633 All right. 01:24:26.796 --> 01:24:30.200 Well, seeing that I did the bulk of the work in the labyrinth, 01:24:30.300 --> 01:24:33.077 perhaps it's one of your turns to lead the way now. 01:24:33.177 --> 01:24:36.021 Step back, new friends. I'll lead the way. 01:24:36.180 --> 01:24:38.649 For tonight, evil has met its match. 01:24:38.808 --> 01:24:42.654 Fantastic! Thank you again for coming. 01:24:51.946 --> 01:24:53.118 God. 01:24:53.907 --> 01:24:55.809 Right out of the gate. 01:24:55.909 --> 01:24:58.412 We should proceed with a bit more caution. 01:24:58.578 --> 01:25:00.000 Let go of me! 01:25:00.371 --> 01:25:03.841 You foul witches! I hate you all. 01:25:04.000 --> 01:25:05.401 Stop laughing. 01:25:05.501 --> 01:25:06.969 Silence! 01:25:07.086 --> 01:25:08.679 Let me go! 01:25:09.130 --> 01:25:12.742 I shall be unable to have sex with her with all that shrieking. 01:25:12.842 --> 01:25:15.453 If it's obedience that you want, 01:25:15.553 --> 01:25:17.305 we will put her under a spell. 01:25:18.640 --> 01:25:19.916 She will surrender. 01:25:20.016 --> 01:25:21.643 Obey. 01:25:30.526 --> 01:25:32.949 Let it begin. 01:26:08.398 --> 01:26:10.592 The winch, Courtney. 01:26:10.692 --> 01:26:12.239 Brother! What are you doing here? 01:26:12.777 --> 01:26:13.887 We came to rescue you. 01:26:13.987 --> 01:26:15.054 You did? 01:26:15.154 --> 01:26:16.622 Yes! Are you surprised? 01:26:17.073 --> 01:26:18.057 Yes! 01:26:18.157 --> 01:26:20.410 Courtney, you're still alive! Isabel! 01:26:21.828 --> 01:26:23.956 All right. Great. 01:26:24.122 --> 01:26:26.295 We haven't much time! Let's get weapons. 01:26:26.457 --> 01:26:28.985 Fabious, there's something else I should tell you. 01:26:29.085 --> 01:26:30.153 What? 01:26:30.253 --> 01:26:32.472 I would never let your true love come to harm. 01:26:33.256 --> 01:26:36.760 I present you with the Blade of Unicorn. 01:26:37.427 --> 01:26:39.976 Brother, it is beautiful. 01:26:40.888 --> 01:26:43.391 And Your Highness, please forgive my deception. 01:26:43.558 --> 01:26:45.560 Our two quests now work as one. 01:26:46.436 --> 01:26:47.858 Nice. 01:26:48.021 --> 01:26:49.739 We're in this together, sir. 01:26:50.231 --> 01:26:51.653 Yes. 01:26:53.484 --> 01:26:54.610 Simon! 01:26:59.991 --> 01:27:02.210 Now mine eyes have seen it all. 01:27:02.368 --> 01:27:05.338 'Tis only a truce. Courtney had him restored. 01:27:05.496 --> 01:27:06.981 He manipulated me into friendship 01:27:07.081 --> 01:27:09.004 by tugging at my heartstrings. 01:27:11.085 --> 01:27:12.028 Right. 01:27:12.128 --> 01:27:13.254 What's he saying? 01:27:13.713 --> 01:27:16.574 It seems the way is more treacherous than I thought. 01:27:16.674 --> 01:27:18.927 I cannot ask you to come with me. 01:27:19.093 --> 01:27:22.038 I know you do not expect much from me, Fabious. 01:27:22.138 --> 01:27:24.266 But I will stand with you on this night. 01:27:24.557 --> 01:27:28.061 Is this the same brother that would not be my best man? 01:27:28.728 --> 01:27:31.857 I did not deserve to be your best man. 01:27:32.231 --> 01:27:34.279 You do now. 01:27:38.029 --> 01:27:40.703 We can finish this whenever you maidens are ready. 01:27:42.450 --> 01:27:43.872 Ready! 01:28:27.912 --> 01:28:28.938 The time is nigh! 01:28:29.038 --> 01:28:30.210 The moons are about to align. 01:28:37.130 --> 01:28:38.848 Intruders! 01:28:39.465 --> 01:28:42.514 Prepare to be fist-fucked by two brothers at once. 01:28:45.972 --> 01:28:49.101 You're too late! The fuckening has begun. 01:28:49.267 --> 01:28:51.065 Get him! 01:28:54.147 --> 01:28:55.239 You shit! 01:28:55.356 --> 01:28:56.403 Kill them! 01:29:31.058 --> 01:29:33.481 Why is she making these noises? 01:29:44.697 --> 01:29:45.744 Courtney! 01:29:55.833 --> 01:29:56.959 Boremont! 01:29:58.544 --> 01:29:59.591 Bastard! 01:30:02.840 --> 01:30:04.217 Thadeous! 01:30:04.550 --> 01:30:06.097 I'm not Stiffening! 01:30:06.260 --> 01:30:08.137 I'm just not attracted to you. 01:30:08.304 --> 01:30:09.351 Fuck me! 01:30:11.557 --> 01:30:12.683 Love me! 01:30:24.737 --> 01:30:26.330 Adiós, motherfucker! 01:30:26.697 --> 01:30:27.823 Teamwork! 01:30:58.813 --> 01:31:01.817 God, I never wanted it to end like this, old friend. 01:31:02.191 --> 01:31:04.785 Master Fabious. 01:31:04.944 --> 01:31:06.992 I loved you! 01:31:08.656 --> 01:31:11.184 I loved you, too, Boremont. 01:31:11.284 --> 01:31:12.852 As only a knight can love a knight. 01:31:12.952 --> 01:31:14.044 No. 01:31:15.079 --> 01:31:17.356 I loved you 01:31:17.456 --> 01:31:20.960 as a man loves another man. 01:31:41.230 --> 01:31:42.652 Jumping! 01:32:17.641 --> 01:32:19.143 Quick! We must hurry! 01:32:19.310 --> 01:32:22.154 What? No, no, don't suck that! That's dead! 01:32:43.042 --> 01:32:45.716 Next time you want to smash a bloodline of knights, 01:32:45.878 --> 01:32:47.505 make sure you kill all of them! 01:32:47.922 --> 01:32:49.094 We did! 01:32:49.340 --> 01:32:51.718 You forgot about their sister. 01:33:08.776 --> 01:33:10.528 Thadeous! What are you doing here? 01:33:10.694 --> 01:33:12.430 I'm trying to rescue you. We must hurry! 01:33:12.530 --> 01:33:14.783 Step away from my virgin. 01:33:17.576 --> 01:33:19.203 She's my brother's virgin. 01:33:19.537 --> 01:33:21.756 If you want to fuck her, 01:33:21.914 --> 01:33:24.008 you'll have to fuck me first. 01:33:27.670 --> 01:33:29.388 It would be my pleasure. 01:33:31.465 --> 01:33:32.933 Stop! 01:33:33.134 --> 01:33:34.511 It's over. 01:33:34.677 --> 01:33:37.601 Take your last breath with nobility. 01:33:39.473 --> 01:33:41.817 You fool. 01:33:41.976 --> 01:33:45.276 I cannot be slain by mortal blade. 01:33:45.438 --> 01:33:46.630 One must possess the powerful... 01:33:46.730 --> 01:33:47.947 I know. 01:33:48.691 --> 01:33:50.238 Blade of Unicorn. 01:33:51.527 --> 01:33:52.949 It's not possible. 01:34:42.786 --> 01:34:44.208 My love. 01:34:55.925 --> 01:34:57.410 Think I'm beginning to like the feel 01:34:57.510 --> 01:35:00.730 of blood and filth upon these fingers. 01:35:00.888 --> 01:35:02.765 Perhaps I will never bathe again. 01:35:04.225 --> 01:35:06.001 Unless, of course, there were a bitch 01:35:06.101 --> 01:35:08.069 brave enough to bathe beside me. 01:35:08.312 --> 01:35:09.880 You fought with honor. 01:35:09.980 --> 01:35:13.008 Why don't you treat yourself and take rest at our castle? 01:35:13.108 --> 01:35:17.113 We've all the slaves, pickles and servants one could ever desire. 01:35:17.613 --> 01:35:19.432 We have dancing bears, Orientals 01:35:19.532 --> 01:35:21.534 and all the berries you care to pick. 01:35:22.243 --> 01:35:24.895 I wish I could, but I never rest. 01:35:24.995 --> 01:35:28.149 There's yet another quest that calls me to the Western Marshes. 01:35:28.249 --> 01:35:29.525 I must surprise a band of thieves 01:35:29.625 --> 01:35:33.129 and burn them alive one by one in a symphony of shrieks. 01:35:34.421 --> 01:35:36.949 I will not forget you, Prince. 01:35:37.049 --> 01:35:38.767 Nor will I. 01:35:43.973 --> 01:35:46.692 Here. To remember me. Oh. 01:35:47.101 --> 01:35:49.650 I don't want that thing touching me. 01:35:49.979 --> 01:35:51.547 Say hello. 01:35:51.647 --> 01:35:52.648 No. 01:35:52.815 --> 01:35:54.216 I fucking killed this dick. Take it. 01:35:54.316 --> 01:35:55.488 No, it's yours. 01:35:55.776 --> 01:35:58.370 I cannot accept another warrior's trophy. 01:35:58.612 --> 01:35:59.847 Courtney, take my dick. 01:35:59.947 --> 01:36:01.324 With pleasure, sir. 01:36:01.782 --> 01:36:03.329 Till we meet again. 01:36:21.802 --> 01:36:23.304 Is thou all right, Brother? 01:36:46.744 --> 01:36:48.496 I love you. 01:36:49.288 --> 01:36:51.006 I love you, too, 01:37:02.426 --> 01:37:04.224 They're cheering for you. 01:37:04.345 --> 01:37:06.018 They're cheering for all of us. 01:37:06.388 --> 01:37:08.015 Even for me? 01:37:08.432 --> 01:37:10.434 Especially you, Brother. 01:37:31.163 --> 01:37:33.165 I'm proud of you, son. 01:37:33.415 --> 01:37:35.401 You saved the entire land. 01:37:35.501 --> 01:37:37.253 Not a bad run for a first quest. 01:37:37.419 --> 01:37:40.197 Well, I would be remiss to say I did it alone. 01:37:40.297 --> 01:37:42.265 Fabious did help where he could. 01:37:43.425 --> 01:37:44.893 I'm sure. 01:37:57.398 --> 01:38:00.072 Finally. Alone. 01:38:07.324 --> 01:38:11.704 Hello, there. Cock-a-doodle-do. 01:38:13.372 --> 01:38:14.481 Brother? 01:38:14.581 --> 01:38:15.899 Yes? 01:38:15.999 --> 01:38:17.401 Am I interrupting something? 01:38:17.501 --> 01:38:19.653 Nothing, I was preparing for bedtime 01:38:19.753 --> 01:38:22.406 and just looking at the oils that Father gave me. 01:38:22.506 --> 01:38:24.929 I know what you're doing! 01:38:25.092 --> 01:38:26.218 No, you don't. 01:38:27.803 --> 01:38:30.352 Well, seeing you by yourself at the wedding didn't seem right. 01:38:30.514 --> 01:38:33.313 So, I've brought you someone. 01:38:33.600 --> 01:38:35.628 Someone I know you've been missing... Isabel? 01:38:35.728 --> 01:38:37.856 ...and who's been missing you. 01:38:38.021 --> 01:38:40.274 I brought you Steven! 01:38:42.276 --> 01:38:44.529 I went on a mini-quest and I found him for you. 01:38:45.320 --> 01:38:48.164 Well, that was 01:38:49.867 --> 01:38:52.086 very nice of you, Fabious. Thank you. 01:38:52.244 --> 01:38:54.667 I had so much fun on our adventure together. 01:38:54.830 --> 01:38:58.130 Yes, I know. You have told me 15 fucking times now. 01:39:01.754 --> 01:39:04.239 Well, I'm off to sleep with Belladonna. 01:39:04.339 --> 01:39:05.407 I'm a little nervous. 01:39:05.507 --> 01:39:06.575 Don't be. 01:39:06.675 --> 01:39:09.536 Just swing your cock with the same strength you swing your sword, 01:39:09.636 --> 01:39:11.513 and I'm sure all will be fine. 01:39:12.681 --> 01:39:15.309 All right. Sweet dreams, Brother. 01:39:15.934 --> 01:39:17.936 Sweet dreams. 01:39:19.021 --> 01:39:20.648 Steven. 01:39:21.231 --> 01:39:25.761 Well, I'm going to put you in the corner now while I strum my filthies. 01:39:25.861 --> 01:39:27.863 Come, come, Steven. 01:39:29.823 --> 01:39:31.825 Here we go. 01:39:34.745 --> 01:39:36.146 Isabel. 01:39:36.246 --> 01:39:39.900 I was able to wrap things up in the west quicker than I expected. 01:39:40.000 --> 01:39:42.048 I've not been able to stop thinking of you. 01:39:42.377 --> 01:39:45.881 What a coincidence. I was just about to finish thinking of you. 01:39:53.889 --> 01:39:56.709 Wait. Before we go any further, 01:39:56.809 --> 01:39:58.127 there's something I have to show you. 01:39:58.227 --> 01:40:00.195 What? 01:40:00.813 --> 01:40:02.381 What the hell is that? 01:40:02.481 --> 01:40:03.903 It's a Chastity belt 01:40:04.024 --> 01:40:06.802 put upon me by an evil witch long ago. 01:40:06.902 --> 01:40:09.246 She now roams the snow mountains of Shahmir. 01:40:09.988 --> 01:40:11.390 If I can defeat her, 01:40:11.490 --> 01:40:14.243 the curse will be broken, the belt will fall free. 01:40:14.910 --> 01:40:16.145 So in order for us to make love, 01:40:16.245 --> 01:40:20.107 we have to track down an evil and, I'm assuming, dangerous witch? 01:40:20.207 --> 01:40:21.709 Exactly. 01:40:26.588 --> 01:40:28.699 We would have to do this right now? 01:40:28.799 --> 01:40:30.325 If you don't want to join me, 01:40:30.425 --> 01:40:32.519 I could just take care of it myself. 01:40:33.178 --> 01:40:36.206 No, of course I want to come. We just got home. 01:40:36.306 --> 01:40:37.624 I was hoping to have a few hours 01:40:37.724 --> 01:40:39.752 of just doing nothing, perhaps just relaxing. 01:40:39.852 --> 01:40:42.150 Let's just stay here and snuggle. 01:40:44.314 --> 01:40:47.739 No, fuck it. Let's kill that bitch.