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WEBVTT 1 00:01:29.589 --> 00:01:31.132 Oh, bollocks. 2 00:01:35.762 --> 00:01:36.805 We've got a problem. 3 00:01:36.930 --> 00:01:39.474 A cyber attack? Yes. Prime Minister. 4 00:01:39.557 --> 00:01:42.477 Took me two bottles of wine 5 00:01:42.560 --> 00:01:45.397 and half a packet of sleeping pills to finally nod off. 6 00:01:45.522 --> 00:01:50.026 And you wake me because some fat-fingered hacker's pinched your PIN number? 7 00:01:50.318 --> 00:01:51.921 Well, it's a little more serious than that, Prime Minister. 8 00:01:51.945 --> 00:01:53.863 Hmm? The identities of every one 9 00:01:53.947 --> 00:01:55.949 of our serving agents have been exposed. 10 00:01:56.950 --> 00:01:57.993 What? 11 00:01:58.118 --> 00:02:00.120 Who's doing this? We're not sure. ma'am. 12 00:02:00.245 --> 00:02:03.039 So one week before I host my first G12 Summit, 13 00:02:03.123 --> 00:02:05.333 Britain's entire security apparatus has been taken down 14 00:02:05.458 --> 00:02:06.835 and you know absolutely nothing? 15 00:02:06.918 --> 00:02:09.671 That does pretty much sums up the situation, ma'am, yes. 16 00:02:09.796 --> 00:02:11.732 Well, you better get someone on it and find me some answers! 17 00:02:11.756 --> 00:02:14.026 Yes, but that's the problem. We don't have any agents left. 18 00:02:14.050 --> 00:02:15.093 They've all been outed. 19 00:02:15.343 --> 00:02:17.595 So bring back an old one! 20 00:02:31.401 --> 00:02:35.488 All units, this is Juliet Echo. Stand by for target coordinates. 21 00:02:37.991 --> 00:02:41.995 Target acquired. Repeat, target acquired. 22 00:03:00.013 --> 00:03:02.807 Now then, what have we here? 23 00:03:05.101 --> 00:03:06.227 Sorry, sir. 24 00:03:06.394 --> 00:03:07.979 Never mind, Baggaley. 25 00:03:08.063 --> 00:03:11.107 Your concealment and camouflage work is definitely improving. 26 00:03:11.232 --> 00:03:12.317 Thank you, sir. 27 00:03:12.525 --> 00:03:13.526 Come on. 28 00:03:13.610 --> 00:03:15.528 You, too, Ibadulla. 29 00:03:15.653 --> 00:03:18.823 Excellent. That is a first-class man-trap. 30 00:03:19.532 --> 00:03:21.368 Six house points. 31 00:03:23.119 --> 00:03:25.330 Right, let's get back to school before matron 32 00:03:25.413 --> 00:03:26.849 notices you're missing. 33 00:03:26.873 --> 00:03:29.417 And don't worry, there aren't any more booby traps. 34 00:03:32.253 --> 00:03:34.589 Apart from this one, of course. 35 00:03:49.729 --> 00:03:50.814 Mr. English? 36 00:03:51.106 --> 00:03:52.607 We haven't seen him, sir. 37 00:03:53.066 --> 00:03:54.192 Huh. 38 00:03:55.402 --> 00:03:58.238 And that's camouflage. 39 00:04:00.990 --> 00:04:02.158 Hmm. 40 00:04:06.496 --> 00:04:07.497 And go. 41 00:04:08.581 --> 00:04:09.666 And go. 42 00:04:10.500 --> 00:04:11.876 And go. 43 00:04:12.085 --> 00:04:15.004 The welfare of your children is our paramount concern. 44 00:04:15.380 --> 00:04:17.382 They're never exposed to any unnecessary risk, 45 00:04:17.465 --> 00:04:18.883 I assure you. 46 00:04:29.769 --> 00:04:33.898 I think that's an "F" for your bomb disposal coursework, Hattersley. 47 00:04:34.357 --> 00:04:37.026 "You're looking particularly beautiful tonight." 48 00:04:37.152 --> 00:04:40.572 You're looking particularly beautiful tonight. 49 00:04:40.864 --> 00:04:41.865 "Ching!" 50 00:04:42.198 --> 00:04:43.450 Ching! 51 00:04:45.535 --> 00:04:48.079 Have a good half-term, sir! Thank you. 52 00:05:41.049 --> 00:05:43.301 Are you seriously telling me this is all we've got? 53 00:05:43.426 --> 00:05:44.761 Most of them are either dead, 54 00:05:44.844 --> 00:05:47.680 having hip operations or recovering from prostate surgery. 55 00:05:49.766 --> 00:05:50.767 Okay. 56 00:05:51.392 --> 00:05:55.146 Before your briefing, we'll need you to re-sign the Official Secrets Aot. 57 00:05:55.271 --> 00:05:56.439 Thank you. 58 00:05:56.814 --> 00:05:57.857 Thank you. 59 00:05:57.941 --> 00:05:58.942 Thank you. 60 00:05:59.442 --> 00:06:00.944 Thank you very much. 61 00:06:01.361 --> 00:06:03.613 Any of you gentlemen remember this? 62 00:06:04.072 --> 00:06:07.617 Ooh, the Mont Blanc Blaster. Havenfiseen one of those for years. 63 00:06:07.867 --> 00:06:12.539 Take the cap off and, if memory serves, you've 20 seconds to replace it 64 00:06:12.664 --> 00:06:15.500 or it detonates with the force of a stun grenade. 65 00:06:35.979 --> 00:06:37.313 Thank you. 66 00:06:39.983 --> 00:06:42.360 Teas on the left, gentlemen. 67 00:06:42.485 --> 00:06:44.445 And coffees on the right. 68 00:06:44.737 --> 00:06:45.947 Excellent. 69 00:06:46.072 --> 00:06:49.033 Oh, damn it, I forgot my pills. 70 00:06:49.200 --> 00:06:51.327 <i>Here, have some of m'me.</i> 71 00:06:52.912 --> 00:06:54.998 Scotch whisky, single malt? 72 00:06:55.123 --> 00:06:56.958 Thank you very much. 73 00:06:57.166 --> 00:06:59.168 Coffee. Oh. 74 00:06:59.252 --> 00:07:01.504 Here, let me help you with that. 75 00:07:06.801 --> 00:07:07.885 Tea? 76 00:07:13.349 --> 00:07:16.144 Ooh, this one just needs a little top-up of hot water. 77 00:07:16.769 --> 00:07:18.229 I'll be right back. 78 00:07:20.106 --> 00:07:22.358 Man's a divot of the first order. 79 00:07:22.442 --> 00:07:24.777 Someone should put him out of his misery. 80 00:07:24.902 --> 00:07:27.947 Along with whoever furnished this room. 81 00:07:28.031 --> 00:07:30.116 MkvCage.ws 82 00:07:34.037 --> 00:07:35.204 Oh! 83 00:07:37.498 --> 00:07:39.500 Ah, good morning. Sorry to keep you. 84 00:07:41.461 --> 00:07:43.212 Are the others here? 85 00:07:43.504 --> 00:07:44.756 Um... 86 00:07:45.840 --> 00:07:47.008 Oh. 87 00:07:51.304 --> 00:07:54.724 They, um... They nodded off. 88 00:07:55.266 --> 00:07:56.267 Right... 89 00:07:57.518 --> 00:07:58.811 And who are you exactly? 90 00:07:59.312 --> 00:08:00.396 EngHsh. 91 00:08:01.356 --> 00:08:03.066 - Johnny English. - Well... 92 00:08:04.525 --> 00:08:06.027 “English...“ 93 00:08:07.362 --> 00:08:08.821 You'll leave immediately. 94 00:08:08.905 --> 00:08:10.990 My people will give you the full briefing en route. 95 00:08:11.074 --> 00:08:12.408 Oh, is there anything you need? 96 00:08:12.492 --> 00:08:16.204 Yes, nerve gas nasal spray, a type-four exoskeleton... 97 00:08:16.329 --> 00:08:18.247 You should probably start a list. 98 00:08:18.373 --> 00:08:21.793 And a garroting watch, with a rubber strap, not the steel bracelet 99 00:08:21.918 --> 00:08:25.254 because the links get caught in the little hairs on my wrist. 100 00:08:25.588 --> 00:08:27.674 Oh, and I'll also need a Bough. 101 00:08:28.216 --> 00:08:29.717 What's a Bough? 102 00:08:31.094 --> 00:08:32.095 Sir! 103 00:08:34.180 --> 00:08:36.015 Wonderful to see you! 104 00:08:37.225 --> 00:08:39.936 Yes, all right, Bough. We're going on a mission, not a honeymoon. 105 00:08:40.186 --> 00:08:41.771 Yes, of course, sir. 106 00:08:42.397 --> 00:08:45.441 Ah. I think it's the pin of your buckle, sir. It's caught on myjumper. 107 00:08:45.525 --> 00:08:46.877 Yes, I can see what's wrong, Bough. 108 00:08:46.901 --> 00:08:50.071 If you go to your left and I'll go to my right. 109 00:08:51.447 --> 00:08:54.701 I'm sorry, no, if you go to your right and I'll go to my left. 110 00:08:56.744 --> 00:09:00.289 No. If I go clockwise and you go anti-clockwise... 111 00:09:01.249 --> 00:09:02.810 Er, no, I think that's making it worse, sir. 112 00:09:02.834 --> 00:09:05.253 Hmm. I'm surprised that didn't work. 113 00:09:10.508 --> 00:09:13.678 Good morning, sir. I have your agent activation pack here. 114 00:09:14.220 --> 00:09:15.888 Department-issue smartphone. 115 00:09:15.972 --> 00:09:20.268 580-megapixel camera, 4.7-inch retina HD display. 116 00:09:20.351 --> 00:09:25.356 Hmm-hmm. Ingenious. And what does it shoot? Poison darts? 117 00:09:25.982 --> 00:09:29.694 It doesn't shoot anything. It's a phone. 118 00:09:30.278 --> 00:09:32.196 There's a Twitter handle, Instagram feed 119 00:09:32.280 --> 00:09:34.282 and secure login for the department Uber account. 120 00:09:34.365 --> 00:09:35.405 What's he on about, Bough? 121 00:09:35.450 --> 00:09:37.577 I need a weapon. Not a box of gobbledygook. 122 00:09:37.785 --> 00:09:40.121 I think, uh, what Agent English 123 00:09:40.204 --> 00:09:42.498 is getting at, sir, is all this is highly trackable. 124 00:09:42.790 --> 00:09:46.169 But since we're dealing with a very sophisticated, digital target, 125 00:09:46.252 --> 00:09:50.840 we might be less visible if we took a more analog, low-tech approach. 126 00:09:52.508 --> 00:09:53.593 Exactly. 127 00:09:55.011 --> 00:09:56.345 I see. 128 00:09:56.888 --> 00:09:58.681 Is there anything else I can get you? 129 00:09:59.098 --> 00:10:00.433 <i>A gun.</i> 130 00:10:01.976 --> 00:10:06.147 We don't really do guns anymore. 131 00:10:06.522 --> 00:10:08.107 Just get him a gun. 132 00:10:08.524 --> 00:10:09.817 Right, a gun. 133 00:10:16.449 --> 00:10:19.535 Right. Haven't actually done one of these before. 134 00:10:20.703 --> 00:10:22.830 "It is my obligation under section 14 135 00:10:22.914 --> 00:10:24.767 "of the Health and Safety Directive to inform you 136 00:10:24.791 --> 00:10:27.460 "that the equipment with which you are about to be issued 137 00:10:27.543 --> 00:10:29.462 "can cause injury and bodily harm. 138 00:10:33.382 --> 00:10:36.010 "Furthermore, any agents with nut allergies 139 00:10:36.093 --> 00:10:37.279 "should be aware that traces of cashew oil..." 140 00:10:37.303 --> 00:10:38.638 Thank you. 141 00:10:41.265 --> 00:10:42.683 Right, transport. 142 00:10:46.479 --> 00:10:48.523 So, take any hybrid you want. 143 00:11:04.413 --> 00:11:05.665 I'll take this one. 144 00:11:05.915 --> 00:11:08.960 Oh, don't be ridiculous, English. This car is a relic. 145 00:11:09.043 --> 00:11:11.838 Drinks petrol, leaks oil and has no passive, 146 00:11:11.921 --> 00:11:13.589 let alone active safety features. 147 00:11:13.798 --> 00:11:15.275 Do you know what else it doesn't have, sir? 148 00:11:15.299 --> 00:11:18.052 Satellite navigation or a single computer chip. 149 00:11:18.135 --> 00:11:21.389 Making it completely invisible to a digital enemy. 150 00:11:23.391 --> 00:11:25.476 The equipment Agent English requested, sir. 151 00:11:25.560 --> 00:11:26.769 Thank you. 152 00:11:27.895 --> 00:11:29.689 Phone. Bough? Yeah. 153 00:11:32.859 --> 00:11:36.070 That hi-tech villain of yours will never see us coming. 154 00:11:53.588 --> 00:11:55.423 Let's see what they've given us. 155 00:11:56.132 --> 00:12:00.845 Exoskeleton, exploding cotton buds, the old shoebox inflatable. 156 00:12:00.928 --> 00:12:02.138 Hmm. 157 00:12:03.097 --> 00:12:07.476 Ooh. what are these? Instant Release Super High Energy Pills. 158 00:12:07.685 --> 00:12:11.814 Like sticking your fingers in an electric socket. Highly recommended. 159 00:12:12.732 --> 00:12:15.860 Right, so, the red ones must be the Total Knockout Sleeping Pills. 160 00:12:15.985 --> 00:12:17.069 Correct. 161 00:12:17.153 --> 00:12:19.447 Hmm. Probably worth labeling these. 162 00:12:19.530 --> 00:12:20.573 Oh. 163 00:12:20.656 --> 00:12:23.075 Look, sir. Sweeties. 164 00:12:24.076 --> 00:12:25.161 Ooh. 165 00:12:25.703 --> 00:12:27.455 Hang on a minute. 166 00:12:27.580 --> 00:12:29.415 I always did love a jelly baby. 167 00:12:29.498 --> 00:12:32.585 I wouldn't if I was you, Bough. "Jelly" is short for gelignite. 168 00:12:32.668 --> 00:12:34.438 One bite and it'll take the top of your head off 169 00:12:34.462 --> 00:12:36.130 along with the roof of the car. 170 00:12:36.714 --> 00:12:38.466 So, what does this do? 171 00:12:39.717 --> 00:12:41.594 It's a mixtape, Bough. 172 00:12:46.015 --> 00:12:48.684 - So, destination? - South of France, sir. 173 00:12:48.768 --> 00:12:50.770 That cyber attack seems to have been launched 174 00:12:50.853 --> 00:12:53.314 from the Wi-Fi signal of a hotel in Antibes. 175 00:13:38.067 --> 00:13:41.362 Sir? Sir, I've just had a fax through from HQ. 176 00:13:41.779 --> 00:13:44.907 Background checks on all the guests that accessed the Wi-Fi network. 177 00:13:44.991 --> 00:13:47.118 You see? Who needs email? 178 00:13:52.873 --> 00:13:54.125 Um... 179 00:13:54.208 --> 00:13:56.544 One name has raised a red flag, sir. 180 00:13:57.336 --> 00:14:00.256 Sebastian Lynch, ex-Army and Military Intelligence. 181 00:14:00.506 --> 00:14:03.342 Now selling his services to the highest bidder. 182 00:14:03.634 --> 00:14:06.303 Where do we find him? Directly ahead. sir. 183 00:14:07.972 --> 00:14:11.183 He's got an 8:00 reservation at the Cote de Roc restaurant. 184 00:14:21.777 --> 00:14:25.057 The problem's going to be getting close enough for a full surveillance, sir. 185 00:14:25.239 --> 00:14:27.158 Not necessarily. 186 00:14:43.966 --> 00:14:47.053 Oh, darling, I've just gotta get this. Two seconds. 187 00:14:47.636 --> 00:14:51.974 Simple plan, two parts. You provide the distraction, I'll get the phone. 188 00:14:52.058 --> 00:14:54.393 Yes. sir. And from now on, 189 00:14:54.769 --> 00:14:59.732 perhaps we should sound like French waiters. 190 00:15:01.400 --> 00:15:03.277 French waiters? 191 00:15:04.153 --> 00:15:05.404 Yees. 192 00:15:06.947 --> 00:15:08.115 Go on. 193 00:15:13.871 --> 00:15:15.915 Are you finished now, Sebasfian? 194 00:15:17.208 --> 00:15:18.709 Bread roll? 195 00:15:18.959 --> 00:15:20.044 Yes, thank you. 196 00:15:20.419 --> 00:15:22.379 Excellent choice, <i>madame.</i> 197 00:15:23.839 --> 00:15:25.257 Good evening. 198 00:15:25.841 --> 00:15:27.426 How are you? 199 00:15:29.220 --> 00:15:30.721 Bread roll, sir? 200 00:15:30.846 --> 00:15:32.264 Yes. Thank you. 201 00:15:37.269 --> 00:15:38.562 One second. 202 00:15:38.854 --> 00:15:40.773 Excuse me, would you mind? 203 00:15:41.607 --> 00:15:43.818 Oh, yes. Evening. 204 00:15:44.401 --> 00:15:45.486 Evening. 205 00:15:59.834 --> 00:16:01.168 Thank you. 206 00:16:15.432 --> 00:16:16.600 Where's my phone? 207 00:16:18.269 --> 00:16:19.645 That is your phone. 208 00:16:21.730 --> 00:16:23.566 Ooh. 209 00:16:28.237 --> 00:16:29.238 Thank you. 210 00:16:30.531 --> 00:16:31.574 <i>Monsieur.</i> 211 00:16:32.741 --> 00:16:36.036 The, uh, shell on my wife's lobster, could you remove it, please? 212 00:16:38.247 --> 00:16:39.415 Yees. 213 00:16:40.207 --> 00:16:42.126 Uh... 214 00:16:42.376 --> 00:16:43.544 Hmm. 215 00:16:47.548 --> 00:16:49.842 Let me crack it for you. 216 00:17:03.689 --> 00:17:05.024 Oh! 217 00:17:05.816 --> 00:17:06.984 Ow! 218 00:17:38.432 --> 00:17:39.600 Hello? 219 00:17:42.686 --> 00:17:45.046 Steve, I'll have to call you back. Call you back. 220 00:17:47.233 --> 00:17:48.484 Give me a sec. Hang on. 221 00:17:49.902 --> 00:17:51.445 What is going on? 222 00:17:54.949 --> 00:17:56.992 Sebastian, don't get involved. 223 00:18:00.329 --> 00:18:01.664 Ah. 224 00:18:05.876 --> 00:18:08.337 What is he doing? SEBASTIAN: I don't know. He's a fool. 225 00:18:09.421 --> 00:18:11.006 There we are. 226 00:18:13.259 --> 00:18:14.468 <i>Voila.</i> 227 00:18:21.850 --> 00:18:24.103 Hmm. Bon appétit. 228 00:18:27.231 --> 00:18:30.359 I will talk to the manager. I will talk to the manager. 229 00:18:39.535 --> 00:18:41.620 Textbook, Bough. 230 00:18:46.083 --> 00:18:47.918 Just holiday snaps, sir. 231 00:18:49.128 --> 00:18:51.046 Wait a minute, this photo. 232 00:18:51.297 --> 00:18:55.134 It was taken the same day our villain accessed the Wi-Fi, and look. 233 00:18:55.801 --> 00:18:57.761 Scarcely 50 feet from shore. 234 00:18:59.555 --> 00:19:00.931 Whoever was on that yacht 235 00:19:01.015 --> 00:19:03.767 could easily have used the hotel's Wi-Fi, 236 00:19:03.851 --> 00:19:07.021 sent that signal and then just sailed away. 237 00:19:07.563 --> 00:19:12.234 I think it's time we paid the Dot <i>Calm</i> a visit. 238 00:19:24.955 --> 00:19:25.956 <i>Algorithms.</i> 239 00:19:26.040 --> 00:19:28.250 <i>We are surrounded by them.</i> 240 00:19:28.334 --> 00:19:30.502 <i>Algorithms run our lives,</i> 241 00:19:30.586 --> 00:19:35.049 <i>choose our TV shows, stream our music. Even find us a date.</i> 242 00:19:37.092 --> 00:19:38.844 I know this chap, don't I? 243 00:19:38.969 --> 00:19:42.222 Yes, he's that Silicon Valley billionaire who dated a Kardashian. 244 00:19:42.306 --> 00:19:45.017 Two Kardashians and a Black-Eyed Pea. Keep watching. 245 00:19:45.184 --> 00:19:48.437 <i>But supposing there was an algorithm for an entire country.</i> 246 00:19:48.520 --> 00:19:52.107 <i>A single algorithm that could be applied to every one of its problems.</i> 247 00:19:52.358 --> 00:19:56.528 <i>A single algorithm that could take a second-rate nation and make it</i> 248 00:19:57.071 --> 00:19:58.947 <i>world class.</i> 249 00:20:00.282 --> 00:20:02.701 <i>Every nation is awash with data.</i> 250 00:20:03.410 --> 00:20:08.040 So now, more than ever, we need to put that data to work for the people. 251 00:20:08.540 --> 00:20:11.418 These few lines of code will deliver the kind of change 252 00:20:11.543 --> 00:20:14.296 they have been dreaming of their entire lives. 253 00:20:14.421 --> 00:20:17.466 <i>I am Xander. I love data.</i> 254 00:20:20.677 --> 00:20:22.429 He's so clever. 255 00:20:22.554 --> 00:20:25.474 He's young, he's sexy, he's insanely successful. 256 00:20:25.599 --> 00:20:28.560 Just the qualities we need people to associate with me. 257 00:20:29.895 --> 00:20:30.938 Yes, Prime Minister. 258 00:20:31.063 --> 00:20:33.565 And they will do when he starts working with us. 259 00:20:33.690 --> 00:20:36.276 But why would 3 Silicon Valley billionaire work with us? 260 00:20:36.402 --> 00:20:39.113 Just get him into Number 10 and let me work on him. 261 00:20:39.196 --> 00:20:40.614 Yes. ma'am. Go on. 262 00:20:43.534 --> 00:20:44.785 Oh, God, now what? 263 00:20:45.327 --> 00:20:46.888 There's been another attack, Prime Minister. 264 00:20:46.912 --> 00:20:48.247 Air Traffic Control. Oh! 265 00:20:48.914 --> 00:20:51.792 Someone's rerouted every flight in Europe to Luton. 266 00:20:51.917 --> 00:20:54.104 For God's sake, tell me the agent you've got in the field 267 00:20:54.128 --> 00:20:55.838 is making some progress? 268 00:21:05.305 --> 00:21:08.308 So, how are we gonna findthelocafion of that yacht, sir? 269 00:21:08.434 --> 00:21:11.770 Very easily, Bough. We ring MI7. 270 00:21:16.024 --> 00:21:19.361 HeHo, heHo? Yes, I need the location of a boat called... 271 00:21:23.657 --> 00:21:26.827 Hello? Hello, yes. A boat called the Dot Calm. 272 00:21:27.536 --> 00:21:29.705 Yes, it's a play on words. Yeah. 273 00:21:30.038 --> 00:21:31.039 Where? 274 00:21:37.880 --> 00:21:39.715 Looks about half a mile out, sir. 275 00:21:40.757 --> 00:21:43.010 Do we wanna try and swim it or... 276 00:21:43.135 --> 00:21:46.555 No, Bough. This is a job for the shoebox inflatable. 277 00:21:46.680 --> 00:21:48.307 No, don't open it in the car, sir! 278 00:21:54.813 --> 00:21:57.816 Can you reach your door handle? 279 00:22:00.235 --> 00:22:01.820 No, sir. 280 00:22:02.321 --> 00:22:04.656 I'll try my side. 281 00:22:22.049 --> 00:22:26.053 Right, Bough, our aim is to get on board without anyone noticing. 282 00:22:26.595 --> 00:22:28.263 And how are we gonna do it? 283 00:22:28.472 --> 00:22:30.849 Magnetic boots. Brilliant, sir. 284 00:22:31.725 --> 00:22:33.143 Simple mechanism. 285 00:22:33.268 --> 00:22:36.396 Left switch activates left boot. Right switch activates right. 286 00:22:37.105 --> 00:22:38.941 Okay, let's go. 287 00:22:53.830 --> 00:22:59.336 Remember, the absolutely vital element of this mission is surprise. 288 00:23:21.024 --> 00:23:22.877 Now, you have to get up pretty early in the morning 289 00:23:22.901 --> 00:23:25.028 to outwit British Intelligence. 290 00:23:31.201 --> 00:23:32.286 Quick! 291 00:23:39.459 --> 00:23:41.295 Good evening, gentlemen. 292 00:23:42.588 --> 00:23:44.590 Shall we start with your names? 293 00:23:45.716 --> 00:23:48.677 Clearly you have no idea who you're dealing with. 294 00:23:49.678 --> 00:23:52.014 That's why I'm starting with your names. 295 00:23:52.556 --> 00:23:54.433 Actually, would you mind coming down here? 296 00:23:54.558 --> 00:23:57.227 It's really hard to have a conversation like this. 297 00:23:58.604 --> 00:24:00.272 I have a better idea. 298 00:24:07.946 --> 00:24:09.656 It's no good, it won't move, sir. 299 00:24:10.449 --> 00:24:12.367 We'll see about that. 300 00:24:12.492 --> 00:24:14.828 Low-intensity exploding cotton bud. 301 00:24:18.665 --> 00:24:21.209 That's quite a powerful charge for such a small space, sir. 302 00:24:21.293 --> 00:24:22.711 Oh, nonsense. 303 00:24:24.963 --> 00:24:27.132 There will just be a slight pop. 304 00:24:35.140 --> 00:24:38.100 Shall we locate the hold and look for the source of that signal? 305 00:24:38.143 --> 00:24:42.147 I think we should locate the hold and look for the source of that signal! 306 00:24:45.484 --> 00:24:46.652 Come on! 307 00:24:58.538 --> 00:25:01.041 I'd say we have our villain, Bough! 308 00:25:01.166 --> 00:25:03.335 You need to keep your voice down, sir. 309 00:25:04.211 --> 00:25:06.213 And we're not going to lose him. 310 00:25:19.726 --> 00:25:21.978 Hand me the sherbet fountain. 311 00:25:24.481 --> 00:25:27.484 Three sucks and the location transmitter is activated. 312 00:25:27.567 --> 00:25:31.363 This gin palace will show up as a hostile from 30,000 feet. 313 00:25:31.905 --> 00:25:32.948 Hmm. 314 00:25:39.830 --> 00:25:42.666 This is now an enemy target. 315 00:25:48.088 --> 00:25:49.756 Aniseed balls. 316 00:26:04.855 --> 00:26:08.108 If you'd wanted to kill me, you would have already done so. 317 00:26:11.528 --> 00:26:13.363 Till we meet again. 318 00:26:21.496 --> 00:26:22.664 Ow! 319 00:26:27.252 --> 00:26:29.546 Well, that was sooner than I expected. 320 00:26:33.383 --> 00:26:36.470 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 321 00:26:40.015 --> 00:26:41.892 <i>Who do you think she is, sir?</i> 322 00:26:41.975 --> 00:26:44.644 Well, if she's not the owner of that yacht, 323 00:26:44.728 --> 00:26:46.188 then she knows who is. 324 00:26:47.314 --> 00:26:49.816 Either way, she's the key to this case. 325 00:26:52.152 --> 00:26:55.197 Is it true you were teaching, sir? Before all this blew up? 326 00:26:56.490 --> 00:26:58.742 If by "teaching" you mean 327 00:26:58.867 --> 00:27:03.830 scouting for potential intelligence operatives then yes, I was. 328 00:27:03.914 --> 00:27:04.998 Hmm. 329 00:27:05.081 --> 00:27:09.753 I actually got married, sir. I don't know if you heard. 330 00:27:11.338 --> 00:27:12.339 No. 331 00:27:13.006 --> 00:27:14.341 Hmm. 332 00:27:14.549 --> 00:27:16.134 Yeah, Lydia. 333 00:27:16.218 --> 00:27:17.260 Lovely girl. 334 00:27:21.014 --> 00:27:23.683 You never think about getting hitched yourself, sir? 335 00:27:24.935 --> 00:27:29.439 This is no life for a married man, Bough. The danger, the constant travel. 336 00:27:29.523 --> 00:27:30.607 Here you go, sir. 337 00:27:30.690 --> 00:27:32.692 More Lydia's life than mine, sir. 338 00:27:34.152 --> 00:27:35.445 She's in the Navy, you see. 339 00:27:36.404 --> 00:27:37.572 What, as a cook? 340 00:27:38.406 --> 00:27:41.618 Or some kind of seagoing secretary or... 341 00:27:41.701 --> 00:27:44.579 Oh, no, sir. She's the captain of a nuclear submarine. 342 00:27:45.914 --> 00:27:47.249 Oh, right. 343 00:27:49.668 --> 00:27:52.420 Do you think we should get some petrol for the Aston, sir? 344 00:27:53.880 --> 00:27:58.134 No. An Aston Martin is surprisingly economical, Bough. 345 00:28:00.178 --> 00:28:03.181 Besides, it looks like we're in business. 346 00:28:17.237 --> 00:28:18.405 Come on. 347 00:28:25.620 --> 00:28:27.581 Looks like an electric car, sir. 348 00:28:27.664 --> 00:28:30.125 Yes, and sounds like a nose hair trimmer. 349 00:28:32.252 --> 00:28:33.837 A bunch of triple-A batteries 350 00:28:33.920 --> 00:28:36.548 is no match for old-fashioned British horsepower. 351 00:28:41.678 --> 00:28:42.998 <i>NOfllmCP 720252 MflMPEZO flcmmzyzd</i> 352 00:28:58.069 --> 00:29:01.448 Look at her cornering. Seems so effortless, doesn't it, sir? 353 00:29:40.820 --> 00:29:42.405 Arm the missile. 354 00:29:42.489 --> 00:29:43.615 The what? 355 00:29:43.698 --> 00:29:45.951 The missile, Bough, the one with the tear gas warhead. 356 00:29:46.034 --> 00:29:48.578 But they're just cyclists, sir. We'll get past in a minute. 357 00:29:48.662 --> 00:29:49.902 They're French cyclists, Bough, 358 00:29:49.955 --> 00:29:52.666 and they're obstructing Her Majesty's Secret Service. 359 00:30:00.507 --> 00:30:01.841 Wiper stalk is armed, sir. 360 00:30:11.142 --> 00:30:12.143 <i>Sorry.</i> 361 00:30:12.602 --> 00:30:14.896 <i>Terribly sorry. We do apologize.</i> 362 00:30:15.021 --> 00:30:17.190 <i>Stop it, Bough, you'll only encourage them.</i> 363 00:30:32.706 --> 00:30:35.375 What are we gonna do now, sir? Patience. Bough. 364 00:30:35.917 --> 00:30:38.837 Driving like that, her battery will be dead any moment. 365 00:30:38.962 --> 00:30:42.215 And she'll roll to a humiliating stop. 366 00:31:01.484 --> 00:31:05.071 Bough, it is your job to keep an eye onthefuelgauge. 367 00:31:12.746 --> 00:31:14.914 Very impressive driving, Mr... 368 00:31:16.624 --> 00:31:17.709 Golightly. 369 00:31:18.752 --> 00:31:20.879 Basil Golightly. 370 00:31:23.256 --> 00:31:25.884 And you're rather useful yourself, Miss... 371 00:31:26.551 --> 00:31:29.596 Bhuletova. Ophelia Bhuletova. 372 00:31:29.763 --> 00:31:31.014 Hmm. 373 00:31:31.097 --> 00:31:32.849 And this is... 374 00:31:33.224 --> 00:31:34.225 Colin. 375 00:31:35.852 --> 00:31:38.021 I thought we were using fake names. 376 00:31:38.938 --> 00:31:40.690 That is a fake name. 377 00:31:43.526 --> 00:31:44.861 Oh, right. 378 00:31:46.863 --> 00:31:48.740 Yes, this is Colin, 379 00:31:49.991 --> 00:31:51.117 and I'm... 380 00:31:55.288 --> 00:31:56.414 "Dasil." 381 00:31:56.873 --> 00:31:57.874 <i>D as“ .</i> 382 00:31:58.291 --> 00:31:59.292 Basil. 383 00:32:00.543 --> 00:32:02.754 Well, Basil, 384 00:32:03.379 --> 00:32:05.059 maybe there is a simpler way of doing this. 385 00:32:05.757 --> 00:32:07.175 Over a drink perhaps? 386 00:32:07.258 --> 00:32:09.636 Well, that would be lovely. 387 00:32:09.719 --> 00:32:14.390 - Shall we say the bar at the Hotel de Paris in Cagnes-sur-Mer? -00? 388 00:32:14.474 --> 00:32:16.559 Mmm. It's a date. 389 00:32:21.940 --> 00:32:22.941 Well, 390 00:32:23.525 --> 00:32:27.695 I think my "running out of fuel" ruse worked pretty well. 391 00:32:28.113 --> 00:32:29.322 Mmm. 392 00:32:33.076 --> 00:32:34.160 What? 393 00:32:34.327 --> 00:32:36.764 Er, junior doctors. They've confirmed they are going on strike 394 00:32:36.788 --> 00:32:38.628 and the tube drivers are coming out in support. 395 00:32:38.665 --> 00:32:41.560 Oh, God. Leader of the Opposition, has he come round from his heart surgery? 396 00:32:41.584 --> 00:32:42.627 Yes, Prime Minister. 397 00:32:42.710 --> 00:32:45.839 Oh, Jesus Christ, when will something go right for me? What do you want? 398 00:32:46.631 --> 00:32:48.675 They've hit us again, Prime Minister. 399 00:32:49.217 --> 00:32:51.719 Huh? Hacked into the Central Traffic Control System. 400 00:32:52.011 --> 00:32:55.431 Yes, they've turned every traffic light in London to red. 401 00:32:58.059 --> 00:32:59.686 Where's my bloody drink? 402 00:33:00.436 --> 00:33:02.814 You've got to be joking? Vodka tonic, no ice, no tonic. 403 00:33:02.897 --> 00:33:05.441 Yes. ma'am. Oh. and Mr. Volta has arrived. ma'am. 404 00:33:09.946 --> 00:33:12.574 Mr. Volta, welcome to Downing Street. 405 00:33:12.699 --> 00:33:15.785 I have read so much about this wonderful building. 406 00:33:15.910 --> 00:33:19.414 Is this the stone triple staircase designed by William Kent? 407 00:33:19.539 --> 00:33:22.709 Um, yes, it probably is. I can't swear to it. 408 00:33:22.834 --> 00:33:25.378 - Can we do a quick... <i>- Needs Photoshop.</i> 409 00:33:25.461 --> 00:33:27.964 Oh! This way. Hmm. 410 00:33:28.089 --> 00:33:29.883 I am horribly late, I do apologize. 411 00:33:30.008 --> 00:33:32.802 It's the traffic, it's the one thing I don't love about London. 412 00:33:32.927 --> 00:33:35.346 Yes, well, I must admit we are having a slight problem 413 00:33:35.430 --> 00:33:37.348 with the lights at the moment. Nothing major. 414 00:33:37.473 --> 00:33:40.476 If you wanted, I could take a look? It is kind of what I do. 415 00:33:40.560 --> 00:33:43.188 I think it's actually a little bit more complex than... 416 00:33:43.313 --> 00:33:46.691 Xander, get a web address for London's traffic control center. 417 00:33:47.358 --> 00:33:51.070 <i>Here is the login page, Jason. Do you have a password?</i> 418 00:33:53.531 --> 00:33:54.699 Um... 419 00:33:57.827 --> 00:34:00.663 I won't tell if you won't. Right you are. 420 00:34:01.956 --> 00:34:05.585 <i>Bypassing security. Security bypassed.</i> 421 00:34:05.668 --> 00:34:06.669 Oh, that's terrific. 422 00:34:08.046 --> 00:34:11.216 Someone is hacking you. Oh, I don't think so. 423 00:34:11.549 --> 00:34:15.386 Denied service attack. Yeah, primitive but effective. 424 00:34:16.512 --> 00:34:19.891 You know what we could try, rerouting all service requests 425 00:34:19.974 --> 00:34:22.101 to our server farm in Nevada. 426 00:34:23.102 --> 00:34:24.395 Um... 427 00:34:25.647 --> 00:34:27.398 <i>Rerouting, Jason.</i> 428 00:34:27.482 --> 00:34:29.234 <i>Rerouting complete.</i> 429 00:34:33.529 --> 00:34:35.281 Crikey. 430 00:34:36.908 --> 00:34:39.911 So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about? 431 00:34:40.245 --> 00:34:42.372 You, Jason. 432 00:34:43.539 --> 00:34:44.874 Get out. 433 00:34:44.999 --> 00:34:46.542 I want to talk about you. 434 00:35:01.015 --> 00:35:03.893 Excellent, Bough. Nearly there. 435 00:35:04.769 --> 00:35:06.229 Nearly there. 436 00:35:06.354 --> 00:35:09.357 This is actually a really nice hotel, Bough. 437 00:35:10.108 --> 00:35:12.986 I'm turning to the right. 438 00:35:25.999 --> 00:35:29.961 Shall one of us keep Miss Bhuletova busy while the other searches her room, sir? 439 00:35:30.169 --> 00:35:34.173 Good idea, Bough. Alert me if you find anything. 440 00:35:56.321 --> 00:35:57.488 Mr. Golightly. 441 00:36:00.491 --> 00:36:01.492 Oh... 442 00:36:02.160 --> 00:36:03.202 Indeed. 443 00:36:04.203 --> 00:36:07.290 I thought perhaps you weren't coming. On the contrary. 444 00:36:07.457 --> 00:36:10.084 Wild horses couldn't keep me away. 445 00:36:10.835 --> 00:36:11.961 <i>Madame? Monsieur?</i> 446 00:36:12.503 --> 00:36:14.422 Evening. What would you like? 447 00:36:15.131 --> 00:36:18.760 I'm feeling a little homesick tonight. I'll have 3 Moscow Mule. 448 00:36:22.305 --> 00:36:24.640 And I'll have a London... 449 00:36:24.974 --> 00:36:26.976 Lemming, please. 450 00:36:28.519 --> 00:36:30.355 I'm not sure, what... 451 00:36:31.647 --> 00:36:34.984 It's, uh, gin, vodka, 452 00:36:36.444 --> 00:36:37.779 armagnac, 453 00:36:38.529 --> 00:36:39.822 sherry, 454 00:36:40.490 --> 00:36:42.992 with just a little bit of Parmesan. 455 00:36:49.165 --> 00:36:52.877 So, what brings you to the South of France, Miss... 456 00:36:52.960 --> 00:36:54.379 Bhilli... Bholly... 457 00:36:54.462 --> 00:36:55.671 Bhuletova. 458 00:36:56.172 --> 00:36:57.548 Bhuletova. 459 00:36:57.882 --> 00:36:59.675 I'm just visiting a friend of mine. 460 00:36:59.759 --> 00:37:00.885 Hmm. 461 00:37:03.930 --> 00:37:07.183 And would this friend be the owner of the Dot <i>Calm?</i> 462 00:37:08.351 --> 00:37:09.435 Hmm. 463 00:37:09.519 --> 00:37:10.728 Yes, he would. 464 00:37:16.526 --> 00:37:18.361 And what about you, 465 00:37:18.444 --> 00:37:19.445 Basil? 466 00:37:19.612 --> 00:37:21.948 Oh, I'm just here on business. 467 00:37:22.198 --> 00:37:25.201 Although, it's rapidly turning into pleasure. 468 00:37:29.288 --> 00:37:31.040 Ooh! I love these. 469 00:37:36.254 --> 00:37:37.463 They're really hot. 470 00:37:46.514 --> 00:37:48.182 Are you all right? 471 00:37:48.599 --> 00:37:49.934 Yes, fine. 472 00:37:58.985 --> 00:38:00.027 Hmm. 473 00:38:06.492 --> 00:38:07.577 Cheers. 474 00:38:08.035 --> 00:38:11.205 I'm not sure I've ever met a man quite like you, Basil. 475 00:38:12.206 --> 00:38:14.542 Let me clear up the uncertainty for you. 476 00:38:15.168 --> 00:38:16.544 You haven't. 477 00:38:30.766 --> 00:38:35.188 I'm sorry, Basil. I have to get up really early tomorrow morning. 478 00:38:35.563 --> 00:38:37.106 Oh, that's a shame. 479 00:38:47.658 --> 00:38:49.327 How did you get on, sir? 480 00:38:49.452 --> 00:38:52.121 Oh, gosh, what a wonderful woman, Bough. Wonderful. 481 00:38:52.246 --> 00:38:53.247 Right. 482 00:38:53.372 --> 00:38:55.249 Charming. Intelligent. 483 00:38:55.333 --> 00:38:59.045 Lovely sense of humor. And obviously entirely innocent. 484 00:38:59.170 --> 00:39:02.298 Although, I broke into her room and she does have three passports, sir. 485 00:39:02.381 --> 00:39:05.218 Romanian, Bulgarian, Russian. Different name in each. 486 00:39:05.843 --> 00:39:08.221 So she's been married to three different people. 487 00:39:08.346 --> 00:39:10.348 Not unusual in this day and age, Bough. 488 00:39:10.473 --> 00:39:13.351 And I also found some garroting wire and two boxes of ammunition. 489 00:39:13.434 --> 00:39:18.272 Well, single woman, traveling alone, you can't be too careful. 490 00:39:19.440 --> 00:39:22.401 You don't think she might be a spy, sir? 491 00:39:22.860 --> 00:39:24.779 A spy? 492 00:39:25.530 --> 00:39:28.282 I think I know what a spy looks like, Bough. 493 00:39:28.366 --> 00:39:30.034 <i>NOfllmCP 720252 MflMPEZO flcmmzyzd</i> 494 00:40:14.412 --> 00:40:15.746 Oh. 495 00:42:29.088 --> 00:42:30.381 Oh! 496 00:42:59.118 --> 00:43:00.244 Ah. 497 00:43:25.728 --> 00:43:26.729 Sir? 498 00:43:27.021 --> 00:43:28.022 Sir! 499 00:43:29.356 --> 00:43:31.358 I just got off the phone to P in London. 500 00:43:31.442 --> 00:43:33.003 He's found out who the owner of that yaoht is. 501 00:43:33.027 --> 00:43:34.028 Jason Volta. 502 00:43:34.111 --> 00:43:36.322 The world's most powerful Internet billionaire, sir! 503 00:43:36.405 --> 00:43:37.782 And he's in London, right now. 504 00:43:37.865 --> 00:43:41.285 The Prime Minister is personally negotiating a trade deal with him. 505 00:43:42.286 --> 00:43:43.871 Well, what are we waiting for? 506 00:44:15.110 --> 00:44:17.947 Do you think we might slow down a little, sir? 507 00:44:18.739 --> 00:44:19.824 What? 508 00:44:21.992 --> 00:44:23.410 Never mind! 509 00:44:29.208 --> 00:44:31.460 <i>With what appears to be another cyber attack,</i> 510 00:44:31.544 --> 00:44:32.938 <i>pressure is mounting on the Prime Minister.</i> 511 00:44:32.962 --> 00:44:34.922 Every train in England? Yes. sir. 512 00:44:35.005 --> 00:44:38.092 They're all trying to terminate at Bristol Temple Meads. 513 00:44:41.303 --> 00:44:42.346 Morning, sir! 514 00:44:42.429 --> 00:44:44.515 You see this. English? Yes! 515 00:44:45.432 --> 00:44:46.433 Please. 516 00:44:47.226 --> 00:44:48.561 Ooh! 517 00:44:49.144 --> 00:44:51.605 Tell me you've got something I can take to the Prime Minister. 518 00:44:51.689 --> 00:44:54.692 Would the name of the man responsible do, sir? 519 00:44:55.025 --> 00:44:56.610 Excellent, English, yes. 520 00:44:57.236 --> 00:44:59.530 It's Jason... 521 00:45:09.707 --> 00:45:12.167 Volta, sir. Jason Volta. 522 00:45:12.585 --> 00:45:13.586 What? 523 00:45:13.752 --> 00:45:16.338 You're accusing the PM's knight in shining armor? 524 00:45:16.422 --> 00:45:18.257 I'd need hard evidence. 525 00:45:25.389 --> 00:45:26.724 Which... 526 00:45:27.474 --> 00:45:29.977 is why Agent English is proposing 527 00:45:30.060 --> 00:45:32.605 a penetration of Volta's country estate in Surrey. 528 00:45:32.813 --> 00:45:37.067 Yes, yes, yes, yes... 529 00:45:37.151 --> 00:45:39.486 Well, do what you have to do, English. 530 00:45:39.862 --> 00:45:41.864 But for God's sake, be discreet about it. 531 00:45:42.072 --> 00:45:44.116 Oh! Oh. 532 00:45:44.199 --> 00:45:45.242 Good. 533 00:45:45.326 --> 00:45:46.410 Oh. Oh. 534 00:45:52.666 --> 00:45:54.376 "Virtual reality"? 535 00:45:54.501 --> 00:45:55.502 That's right, sir. 536 00:45:55.586 --> 00:45:57.946 P's built a computer model of the inside of Volta's mansion. 537 00:45:58.005 --> 00:46:02.968 When you put on this headset, it will look and feel as if you are inside the house. 538 00:46:03.052 --> 00:46:06.513 You'll be able to open and close doors, walk up and down staircases, 539 00:46:06.597 --> 00:46:09.391 completely familiarize yourself with its layout. 540 00:46:09.475 --> 00:46:12.728 This floor moves in any direction. 80 you can walk... 541 00:46:13.979 --> 00:46:17.399 You can walk as far as you want in the virtual world 542 00:46:18.150 --> 00:46:20.611 without ever actually leaving this room. 543 00:46:20.986 --> 00:46:22.029 One thing though, sir. 544 00:46:23.238 --> 00:46:24.949 The experience can be very disorientating. 545 00:46:25.032 --> 00:46:26.241 It's completely immersive 546 00:46:26.325 --> 00:46:29.370 and some people lose all track of their actual surroundings. 547 00:46:29.453 --> 00:46:32.665 I think we can pretty much guarantee that's not gonna happen. 548 00:46:32.998 --> 00:46:35.334 I'll just need you to sign the health and safety releases. 549 00:46:35.668 --> 00:46:38.379 Would you excuse me while I find an iPad. 550 00:46:39.380 --> 00:46:42.675 Oh, go with him, Bough. If we don't ohivvy him along we'll be here all day. 551 00:46:48.722 --> 00:46:49.974 Hmm. 552 00:47:10.160 --> 00:47:11.328 Ah. 553 00:47:11.745 --> 00:47:13.865 Amrmonflflfvozzw _<_CM_O _U_l><_an OZ Im>_U_U_l_OZ_mmv 554 00:47:33.392 --> 00:47:34.393 Watch out! 555 00:48:02.671 --> 00:48:04.465 <i>Door Closing.</i> 556 00:48:05.090 --> 00:48:06.425 <i>Going down.</i> 557 00:49:07.152 --> 00:49:08.320 Hey! 558 00:49:23.794 --> 00:49:25.688 I'm sorry, sir, but you're going to have to leave. 559 00:49:25.712 --> 00:49:26.755 Ow. 560 00:49:27.047 --> 00:49:28.090 Ow. 561 00:49:51.738 --> 00:49:54.867 So, we'll shortly be arriving at Admiralty House. 562 00:49:54.992 --> 00:49:58.912 And, er, that actually used to be Oliver Cromwell's own house. Um... 563 00:50:00.706 --> 00:50:02.040 Uh... 564 00:50:02.166 --> 00:50:05.669 And then we'll be going to Horse Guards Parade. 565 00:50:08.422 --> 00:50:10.215 Perhaps you'd like to sit down, sir? 566 00:50:12.968 --> 00:50:14.845 Hey, whoa! 567 00:50:19.474 --> 00:50:20.893 I've got them! 568 00:50:25.564 --> 00:50:29.526 However, the agent we have on this mission is confident he's making major progress. 569 00:50:29.610 --> 00:50:32.404 And, uh, yes, we have a potential suspect, he's been identified. 570 00:50:32.905 --> 00:50:36.909 And further covert investigations are now ongoing. 571 00:50:38.202 --> 00:50:39.411 Yes, quite. 572 00:50:39.661 --> 00:50:42.581 So I expect to have more to announce on this front 573 00:50:44.333 --> 00:50:45.500 shortly. 574 00:50:59.389 --> 00:51:00.557 Oh. 575 00:51:01.433 --> 00:51:02.434 Sir? 576 00:51:02.517 --> 00:51:03.644 Mmm? 577 00:51:03.727 --> 00:51:06.563 Is everything all right. sir? Yes. I've done it, Bough. 578 00:51:06.813 --> 00:51:09.566 Child's play. Don't know what all the fuss was about. 579 00:51:23.163 --> 00:51:25.165 <i>Pleasure to see you again, Prime Minister.</i> 580 00:51:26.792 --> 00:51:29.711 It's a hologram. Apparently you just speak to it normally. 581 00:51:31.380 --> 00:51:33.548 The pleasure's all mine. 582 00:51:33.632 --> 00:51:37.511 Hate to rush you, but was there something in particular you needed? 583 00:51:37.594 --> 00:51:40.264 Actually, I was just calling really to see 584 00:51:40.347 --> 00:51:44.393 if you had had a chance to think things over. 585 00:51:44.643 --> 00:51:45.644 <i>I have.</i> 586 00:51:48.146 --> 00:51:51.733 But the thing is, Fiona, I just don't really do other people's security. 587 00:51:51.817 --> 00:51:55.195 <i>Not that I don't want to. But your infrastructure is old.</i> 588 00:51:55.529 --> 00:51:57.257 Plus the only way I could keep you secure in the meantime 589 00:51:57.281 --> 00:52:00.826 would be by storing all your data on my own servers. 590 00:52:00.909 --> 00:52:03.036 <i>Obviously, that would be... Yes. Jason.</i> 591 00:52:03.120 --> 00:52:07.082 What I really want to do is announce this tie-up at the G12 meeting. 592 00:52:07.958 --> 00:52:10.294 <i>Do we have a deal?</i> 593 00:52:19.469 --> 00:52:21.138 Good luck, sir. 594 00:52:39.823 --> 00:52:40.824 Hey. 595 00:52:40.991 --> 00:52:41.992 Sir? 596 00:52:42.075 --> 00:52:44.578 I said to get the chopper ready. Right there. 597 00:52:44.661 --> 00:52:45.871 Sir. Right away, sir. 598 00:52:46.038 --> 00:52:47.247 Thank you. 599 00:52:47.456 --> 00:52:49.041 - Tyler, come in. <i>- Copy.</i> 600 00:52:49.458 --> 00:52:51.418 Tyler, can you prepare the chopper now? 601 00:52:51.543 --> 00:52:54.338 <i>We'll have everything ready for you in a couple of minutes.</i> 602 00:53:25.660 --> 00:53:28.663 We can't keep meeting like this, Mr. Golightly. 603 00:53:28.747 --> 00:53:30.082 Oh, yes. 604 00:53:30.165 --> 00:53:33.126 Or do you want to end this Charade and tell me your real name? 605 00:53:37.881 --> 00:53:41.760 There's so much you don't understand about this world you've got caught up in. 606 00:53:42.844 --> 00:53:46.223 Spare me the idiot act. You're British Secret Service. 607 00:53:47.432 --> 00:53:51.186 Impressive work in France, by the way. When did you realize I was a spy, too? 608 00:53:52.687 --> 00:53:55.982 Oh, pretty much straight away. 609 00:53:56.858 --> 00:53:57.901 Hmm. 610 00:54:00.278 --> 00:54:04.282 I've spent two years undercover. Simple operation until you showed up. 611 00:54:04.491 --> 00:54:06.243 And I like to keep things simple. 612 00:54:07.119 --> 00:54:08.995 "Simple" is my middle name. 613 00:54:13.250 --> 00:54:15.127 It would seem you've got a choice to make. 614 00:54:17.754 --> 00:54:21.675 Temporary suspension ofhosfinfies? A short-term partnership? 615 00:54:30.642 --> 00:54:31.810 Hmm. 616 00:54:31.977 --> 00:54:34.938 Politicians are even more gullible than venture capitalists. 617 00:54:35.021 --> 00:54:36.022 <i>That is correct.</i> 618 00:54:36.106 --> 00:54:37.386 Get me a copy of the target list. 619 00:54:37.649 --> 00:54:39.985 We'll hit them once more just to be on the safe side. 620 00:54:40.527 --> 00:54:43.655 Give me your phone. You don't have a phone? 621 00:54:43.780 --> 00:54:46.158 A phone will give anyone your precise location. 622 00:54:46.241 --> 00:54:48.910 And yet they're so useful for making phone calls. 623 00:54:48.994 --> 00:54:51.371 Excellent. I'm not phoning anyone. 624 00:54:52.122 --> 00:54:55.041 I'm gathering evidence. 625 00:54:56.918 --> 00:55:00.755 <i>The target list, Jason. Four iconic central London landmarks.</i> 626 00:55:00.881 --> 00:55:02.966 <i>Make your selection. Number three.</i> 627 00:55:03.091 --> 00:55:04.926 <i>The London Eye.</i> 628 00:55:06.178 --> 00:55:11.391 <i>This cyber attack could potentially impact 16,000 visitors.</i> 629 00:55:16.730 --> 00:55:19.232 I found him snooping around upstairs. 630 00:55:20.317 --> 00:55:22.235 And who are you exactly? 631 00:55:22.360 --> 00:55:23.820 I'm not telling you anything. 632 00:55:23.904 --> 00:55:24.946 Hmm. 633 00:55:25.989 --> 00:55:28.158 <i>Face recognition software launched.</i> 634 00:55:28.492 --> 00:55:31.953 <i>Johnny English is a geography teacher from Lincolnshire.</i> 635 00:55:32.412 --> 00:55:36.249 Rather heavily armed for a lesson on European capitals, Mr. English. 636 00:55:38.752 --> 00:55:39.961 Any thoughts, sweetheart? 637 00:55:40.962 --> 00:55:42.881 He's British Intelligence. 638 00:55:44.174 --> 00:55:46.343 And there you have it, two words that have 639 00:55:46.426 --> 00:55:49.346 no right being in the same sentence together. 640 00:55:49.721 --> 00:55:52.724 Do you really think I came here alone? 641 00:55:53.099 --> 00:55:56.394 I have a team of crack operatives out there, right now, 642 00:55:56.478 --> 00:55:57.979 just waiting to strike. 643 00:55:58.063 --> 00:55:59.356 Uh-huh. 644 00:56:04.444 --> 00:56:05.487 <i>Sir!</i> 645 00:56:08.698 --> 00:56:10.992 What has happened to this country? 646 00:56:11.117 --> 00:56:13.828 How is it possible that less than a century ago 647 00:56:13.912 --> 00:56:16.915 the British Empire ruled a quarter of the globe 648 00:56:17.040 --> 00:56:20.627 and now it's relying on someone 649 00:56:21.795 --> 00:56:24.214 like you? 650 00:56:28.760 --> 00:56:29.803 Hey! Stop! 651 00:56:31.137 --> 00:56:32.138 Stop him? 652 00:56:46.069 --> 00:56:47.070 Go. 653 00:56:55.537 --> 00:56:56.955 - Close the gates. - Yes, sir. 654 00:57:07.841 --> 00:57:09.175 Help! Stop! 655 00:57:09.259 --> 00:57:11.636 Obstacle directly ahead, Mrs. Trattner. 656 00:57:11.761 --> 00:57:15.682 Check your mirrors and bring the car to a stop. 657 00:57:18.018 --> 00:57:19.728 Er, excuse me. Hey. 658 00:57:21.730 --> 00:57:22.731 Thank you. 659 00:57:26.318 --> 00:57:27.319 Drive! 660 00:57:29.613 --> 00:57:30.614 Excuse me. 661 00:57:30.697 --> 00:57:32.508 What... What do you think you're doing? 662 00:57:32.532 --> 00:57:35.118 Excuse me! You are not a qualified instructor. 663 00:57:44.294 --> 00:57:46.546 But what about my instructor? Turn left. 664 00:57:46.630 --> 00:57:47.672 Oh. 665 00:57:48.548 --> 00:57:49.591 Turn right. 666 00:57:54.012 --> 00:57:56.556 For future reference, I'm on your left. 667 00:57:56.890 --> 00:58:00.393 Please, stop. I can't do this anymore! 668 00:58:04.773 --> 00:58:06.358 I can't see anything now! 669 00:58:06.858 --> 00:58:07.859 Good. 670 00:58:19.537 --> 00:58:21.498 When I say "go," turn sharp right. 671 00:58:21.581 --> 00:58:22.791 Uh-huh. 672 00:58:26.586 --> 00:58:28.838 Three, two, one. 673 00:58:29.339 --> 00:58:30.340 Go! 674 00:58:33.593 --> 00:58:35.512 And straighten up, straighten up, straighten up. 675 00:58:35.595 --> 00:58:36.805 And go! 676 00:58:37.597 --> 00:58:38.598 Let's go, let's go. 677 00:58:47.399 --> 00:58:49.317 Oh, nowjust bear left a little. Good. 678 00:58:49.734 --> 00:58:51.111 Straighten up, straighten up. 679 00:58:55.573 --> 00:58:56.574 Good! 680 00:59:00.704 --> 00:59:02.997 Well, that was very good, Mrs. Trattner. 681 00:59:05.750 --> 00:59:07.961 I think you made some real progress today. 682 00:59:09.546 --> 00:59:11.065 <i>You're not hearing me, English.</i> 683 00:59:11.089 --> 00:59:14.151 <i>Given the Prime Minister's new friendship with Volta, the situation has changed.</i> 684 00:59:14.175 --> 00:59:18.805 But the facts haven't, sir. That attack is Volta's responsibility. 685 00:59:18.888 --> 00:59:21.349 According to you, but not according to anyone else. 686 00:59:21.433 --> 00:59:22.851 Is he here yet? 687 00:59:23.476 --> 00:59:25.854 Good afternoon, Prime Minister. So, this is, uh... 688 00:59:26.104 --> 00:59:28.898 English, Prime Minister. Johnny English. 689 00:59:29.190 --> 00:59:31.693 VVhatexaofly do you have to say for yourself? 690 00:59:31.985 --> 00:59:33.737 Rather a lot, actually. 691 00:59:34.028 --> 00:59:37.615 However, men like me don't deal in prevarication, Prime Minister, 692 00:59:37.699 --> 00:59:39.367 so let me get straight to the point. 693 00:59:39.451 --> 00:59:42.704 Jason Volta is the man behind these attacks. 694 00:59:42.787 --> 00:59:45.373 And I have the evidence to prove it. 695 00:59:46.416 --> 00:59:50.128 I managed to record this inside Volta's country lair. 696 00:59:50.253 --> 00:59:51.755 But I should warn you, Prime Minister, 697 00:59:51.880 --> 00:59:55.800 that what you're about to see is evil incarnate. 698 00:59:57.802 --> 00:59:59.012 Hmm. 699 01:00:01.222 --> 01:00:04.184 <i>Here we are at Fifi's third birthday!</i> 700 01:00:04.267 --> 01:00:06.519 <i>And it's a very exciting day!</i> 701 01:00:08.313 --> 01:00:11.065 <i>Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray!</i> 702 01:00:12.108 --> 01:00:15.278 <i>Happy birthday to you</i> 703 01:00:16.446 --> 01:00:20.283 <i>Happy birthday to you</i> 704 01:00:21.659 --> 01:00:22.660 Thank you. 705 01:00:23.119 --> 01:00:25.538 Can I just ask, what is wrong with you? 706 01:00:26.831 --> 01:00:29.209 The country is in a state of complete chaos. 707 01:00:29.292 --> 01:00:30.460 The press is wetting itself, 708 01:00:30.543 --> 01:00:32.504 and the only person capable of saving us 709 01:00:32.587 --> 01:00:34.839 is the man you're accusing of high treason. 710 01:00:35.799 --> 01:00:39.093 I was in the room myself when he gave the order, Prime Minister! 711 01:00:39.219 --> 01:00:40.428 But there was a... 712 01:00:40.512 --> 01:00:42.198 Do you know what I was in the room with, English? 713 01:00:42.222 --> 01:00:43.908 Your file, which I've read, in its entirety, 714 01:00:43.932 --> 01:00:45.012 and I have a few questions. 715 01:00:45.099 --> 01:00:46.643 Did you or did you not burn 716 01:00:46.726 --> 01:00:49.187 the Cote de Roc restaurant in Antibes to the ground? 717 01:00:49.270 --> 01:00:50.355 Um... 718 01:00:50.438 --> 01:00:52.816 And did you or did you not fire a guided missile 719 01:00:52.941 --> 01:00:54.567 at a peloton of French cyclists? 720 01:00:55.109 --> 01:00:56.110 Well... 721 01:00:56.236 --> 01:00:57.654 Before commandeering an open-top bus 722 01:00:57.779 --> 01:00:59.906 and tossing the tour guide off the top deck, 723 01:01:00.031 --> 01:01:02.343 and then assaulting an 82-year-old grandmother in a sandwich shop 724 01:01:02.367 --> 01:01:04.619 before battering the employee of said sandwich shop 725 01:01:04.702 --> 01:01:06.621 with two organic sourdough baguettes? 726 01:01:07.747 --> 01:01:09.499 Uh, I don't remember the... 727 01:01:09.624 --> 01:01:12.710 Do you have any idea how hard it is to be me? 728 01:01:14.295 --> 01:01:15.922 Hmm? 729 01:01:16.840 --> 01:01:18.842 Do you have even the foggiest notion 730 01:01:18.967 --> 01:01:22.470 of how virtually impossible it is to get anything done 731 01:01:22.595 --> 01:01:27.267 in the face of events and facts and voters 732 01:01:27.392 --> 01:01:30.520 and that tsunami of tosspots we call "the national press"? 733 01:01:30.645 --> 01:01:33.982 Finally I get the chance to do something good for my country, 734 01:01:34.065 --> 01:01:35.316 and what happens? 735 01:01:35.441 --> 01:01:38.027 The universe sends me you. 736 01:01:39.779 --> 01:01:41.322 Well, do you know what I say? 737 01:01:41.406 --> 01:01:44.325 I say, up the universe's arse! 738 01:01:44.450 --> 01:01:46.494 And do you know what else I say? You're fired. 739 01:01:46.578 --> 01:01:48.621 With immediate effect. Now get out! 740 01:01:48.997 --> 01:01:53.042 And make sure I never clap eyes on that imbecile ever again! 741 01:02:35.001 --> 01:02:36.836 What are you doing, sir? 742 01:02:37.921 --> 01:02:41.049 What do you think I'm doing, Bough? I'm going home. 743 01:02:41.424 --> 01:02:43.843 But the Prime Minister is finalizing her deal with Volta. 744 01:02:43.968 --> 01:02:47.221 She's taking him to the G12 Summit in Scotland as her special guest. 745 01:02:47.347 --> 01:02:51.351 It's over, Bough. And there's absolutely nothing we can do about it. 746 01:02:52.060 --> 01:02:54.729 But, sir, I have a plan. 747 01:02:55.104 --> 01:02:56.898 Remember my wife? 748 01:03:05.782 --> 01:03:07.075 Clear your baffles. 749 01:03:07.784 --> 01:03:09.577 What? Mind your head, sir. 750 01:03:09.661 --> 01:03:10.745 Ow! 751 01:03:13.831 --> 01:03:15.083 This says we're sinking. 752 01:03:18.753 --> 01:03:23.633 She's old and a little rusty, but she can put on a hell of a fireworks display. 753 01:03:40.525 --> 01:03:42.318 Excellent work, Commander. 754 01:03:42.610 --> 01:03:45.405 Jeremy has always spoken very highly of you, Agent English. 755 01:03:46.572 --> 01:03:47.573 Who? 756 01:03:49.492 --> 01:03:50.660 Oh. 757 01:03:50.743 --> 01:03:52.412 Oh, yes, yes. 758 01:03:54.288 --> 01:03:56.416 I'm no fan of the pen pushers myself, so 759 01:03:56.499 --> 01:03:58.519 when orders came through stationing us here for the Summit, 760 01:03:58.543 --> 01:04:00.962 well, I thought a lift was the least I could do. 761 01:04:01.295 --> 01:04:03.214 Right, let's get a move on, Bough. 762 01:04:04.632 --> 01:04:06.443 Oh, if you wouldn't mind keeping your mobiles off 763 01:04:06.467 --> 01:04:07.827 until you're well clear, gentlemen. 764 01:04:07.885 --> 01:04:10.388 The launch systems on the missiles are a bit 1980s. 765 01:04:10.471 --> 01:04:13.224 Gets a tad twitchy around microwave radiation. 766 01:04:13.349 --> 01:04:17.353 No problem there, Commander. We're doing this mission old-school. 767 01:04:27.488 --> 01:04:29.157 This spot is perfect. 768 01:04:30.742 --> 01:04:32.076 Come on. 769 01:04:47.592 --> 01:04:48.593 Sorry, sir. 770 01:04:48.676 --> 01:04:50.136 Come on, come on... 771 01:04:52.013 --> 01:04:53.765 Right, Bough. Our mission here is simple. 772 01:04:53.931 --> 01:04:57.310 Gain access to Volta's bedroom and take him out. 773 01:04:57.727 --> 01:04:59.807 How are you going to get up there, though, sw? 774 01:05:00.063 --> 01:05:03.357 A walk in the park for the exoskeleton. 775 01:05:09.822 --> 01:05:12.867 Remotely operated neoprene bodysuit. 776 01:05:12.992 --> 01:05:15.912 Increases the wearer's strength 100 times. 777 01:05:16.287 --> 01:05:19.582 Right, power it up. Stick in the floppy disk and let's go. 778 01:05:27.882 --> 01:05:28.883 Just” 779 01:05:45.358 --> 01:05:46.567 Crikey, sir! 780 01:06:03.000 --> 01:06:04.836 When will the weapon be ready? 781 01:06:04.961 --> 01:06:08.589 <i>As soon as the Prime Minister signs the agreement, tonight.</i> 782 01:06:08.714 --> 01:06:10.049 How do I fire it? 783 01:06:10.174 --> 01:06:12.760 <i>Press once and the attack is launched.</i> 784 01:06:13.010 --> 01:06:16.472 <i>After which, the data of every G12 country</i> 785 01:06:16.597 --> 01:06:20.101 <i>will be transferred to the servers on board the Dot</i> Calm. 786 01:06:20.184 --> 01:06:21.185 Perfect. 787 01:06:22.854 --> 01:06:23.938 Ah. 788 01:06:25.356 --> 01:06:26.357 Cheers. 789 01:06:34.782 --> 01:06:38.077 You're working for Russian Intelligence and you have been from the start. 790 01:06:38.578 --> 01:06:41.390 Which is why I've taken an antidote to the poison you keep in your ring, 791 01:06:41.414 --> 01:06:43.082 and which you've poured into this drink. 792 01:06:44.834 --> 01:06:47.128 And removed the firing pin from that pistol. 793 01:06:55.970 --> 01:06:57.930 Everyone has to make a life for themselves. 794 01:06:58.222 --> 01:07:00.349 It's just sad that yours is 795 01:07:01.434 --> 01:07:02.476 over. 796 01:07:02.560 --> 01:07:03.644 Hmm. 797 01:07:03.728 --> 01:07:07.023 Fresh from my 3D printer. Hundred percent plastic. 798 01:07:10.234 --> 01:07:11.903 And 100% deadly. 799 01:07:13.070 --> 01:07:14.989 Killing me won't save you. 800 01:07:15.907 --> 01:07:16.908 Don't bet on it. 801 01:07:21.662 --> 01:07:24.040 Seriously, this cannot be happening. 802 01:07:24.248 --> 01:07:26.125 Oh, but it is. 803 01:07:27.168 --> 01:07:28.336 Drop the gun. 804 01:07:29.253 --> 01:07:30.588 Get your hands in the air. 805 01:07:31.547 --> 01:07:32.548 And you. 806 01:07:40.640 --> 01:07:41.933 There's no time for this, Johnny. 807 01:07:42.808 --> 01:07:44.268 Oh, it isn't possible. 808 01:07:44.352 --> 01:07:47.104 You cannot be working with this English idiot! 809 01:07:47.188 --> 01:07:50.608 Save the pillow talk for your prison cell, Volta. 810 01:07:50.942 --> 01:07:54.779 Are you inside. sir? Yes. yes. Bough. you can power down. 811 01:07:55.154 --> 01:07:56.989 Everything is under control. 812 01:07:57.949 --> 01:07:59.283 Shut down. 813 01:08:23.849 --> 01:08:26.269 An historic venue for an historic meeting. 814 01:08:26.352 --> 01:08:30.273 The delegates from each G12 member nation will have their own priorities... 815 01:08:41.617 --> 01:08:43.160 How do we get in now, sir? 816 01:08:51.919 --> 01:08:53.587 What's the plan? 817 01:09:28.664 --> 01:09:30.082 Hey, you! 818 01:09:30.750 --> 01:09:31.834 Hey! 819 01:09:47.892 --> 01:09:50.686 Thank you very much. I hope you have everything you need. 820 01:10:07.578 --> 01:10:08.788 OW! 821 01:10:09.038 --> 01:10:10.581 On behalf of the United Kingdom, 822 01:10:10.706 --> 01:10:14.251 may I welcome you here today to this ancient meeting ohamber 823 01:10:14.377 --> 01:10:16.670 where the great Scottish clans 824 01:10:16.796 --> 01:10:20.549 once settled their differences and forged new alliances. 825 01:10:21.300 --> 01:10:23.511 A place I have specifically chosen 826 01:10:23.594 --> 01:10:26.806 in order to make a very special announcement. 827 01:10:27.807 --> 01:10:28.808 Sir? 828 01:10:30.101 --> 01:10:34.063 Are you all right, sir? ENGLISH: No, I'm not all right. Get me up, Bough. 829 01:10:37.775 --> 01:10:41.320 It's very heavy, sir. I know how heavy it is. Bough. 830 01:10:44.240 --> 01:10:45.950 We've got to get to the conference... 831 01:10:47.868 --> 01:10:50.079 To the conference room before Volta... 832 01:10:51.789 --> 01:10:53.999 Before Volta triggers his weapon. 833 01:10:55.543 --> 01:10:59.338 And so, with my signature on this agreement... 834 01:11:01.048 --> 01:11:03.134 it gives me great pleasure, oh, 835 01:11:03.217 --> 01:11:07.930 to welcome to you my guest, my friend, Jason Volta. 836 01:11:10.850 --> 01:11:14.186 <i><i>Standing by to launch attack, Jason.</i> 837 01:11:14.478 --> 01:11:16.647 <i>Damn it. get me out of Ms stun. Johnny?</i> 838 01:11:16.772 --> 01:11:18.875 - I can't see the join, sir. - It's the clasp. 839 01:11:18.899 --> 01:11:21.861 Release the clasp andthetop and the bottom separate. 840 01:11:23.821 --> 01:11:25.781 Must have jammed when you fell over, sir. 841 01:11:25.948 --> 01:11:27.992 For goodness sake. Wait. Try this. 842 01:11:34.874 --> 01:11:36.876 That is quite a lot of oil, sir. 843 01:11:37.960 --> 01:11:40.379 Oh, come on! Come on, come on... 844 01:11:41.505 --> 01:11:45.217 Can you imagine what the world would look like if it was run by Apple? 845 01:11:46.677 --> 01:11:49.096 Or Google? Or... 846 01:11:49.638 --> 01:11:50.723 Me? 847 01:11:53.976 --> 01:11:56.061 Do you think you'd have failing schools? 848 01:11:56.812 --> 01:11:59.148 Do you think you'd have endless waiting in your hospitals? 849 01:11:59.231 --> 01:12:00.232 No. 850 01:12:00.316 --> 01:12:03.068 Think you'd have such long lines in your airports? 851 01:12:03.194 --> 01:12:04.737 - No. - No. 852 01:12:05.070 --> 01:12:09.492 No, because all of these are simple data management problems. 853 01:12:09.617 --> 01:12:12.286 And people like me, we love data. 854 01:12:13.037 --> 01:12:15.706 We live for data. 855 01:12:16.123 --> 01:12:17.833 Hal 856 01:12:17.958 --> 01:12:20.294 Do you know what I live for, Volta? 857 01:12:20.377 --> 01:12:21.438 God. 858 01:12:21.462 --> 01:12:26.842 Eliminating the threat that lying villains like you pose to this country. 859 01:12:27.134 --> 01:12:28.344 Oh, for God's sake. 860 01:12:28.636 --> 01:12:30.179 Who is he? 861 01:12:30.346 --> 01:12:31.764 Arrest this whack job. 862 01:12:31.889 --> 01:12:34.975 The only person ordering an arrest around here will be me. 863 01:12:35.768 --> 01:12:38.145 There's no cause for concern, ladies and gentlemen, 864 01:12:38.270 --> 01:12:42.942 you are now in the capable hands of Her Majesty's Secret Service. 865 01:12:43.275 --> 01:12:47.947 And you, my friend, are in for an uncomfortable ride. 866 01:13:04.463 --> 01:13:05.798 Where was I? 867 01:13:07.258 --> 01:13:09.009 Living for data. 868 01:13:09.385 --> 01:13:10.469 Exactly. 869 01:13:11.804 --> 01:13:16.809 My algorithms can solve every one of your problems as long as I have one thing. 870 01:13:16.892 --> 01:13:17.977 Control. 871 01:13:18.644 --> 01:13:21.981 And that is what you are about to give me now. 872 01:13:22.606 --> 01:13:24.775 Jason, I wonder if you could just clarify... 873 01:13:24.858 --> 01:13:25.943 Shut up. 874 01:13:26.485 --> 01:13:27.736 Now, hold on. 875 01:13:29.071 --> 01:13:30.739 <i>Castle now locked down</i> 876 01:13:31.782 --> 01:13:34.034 <i>and under your control, Jason.</i> 877 01:13:35.995 --> 01:13:38.414 The agreement this ignoramus just signed 878 01:13:38.497 --> 01:13:41.166 didn't just give me access to all the UK's data. 879 01:13:41.292 --> 01:13:45.254 It also gave me access to a junction box, in North Ayrshire 880 01:13:45.379 --> 01:13:47.923 that connects the entire World Wide Web. 881 01:13:48.215 --> 01:13:53.887 Disable the fiber-optic cables in that box and the Internet will cease to exist. 882 01:13:55.180 --> 01:13:57.766 Johnny? Are you okay? 883 01:14:05.107 --> 01:14:07.943 Have you got a phone? We need to call for backup. 884 01:14:08.027 --> 01:14:10.988 There's no time for backup. I'm going after Volta. 885 01:14:11.071 --> 01:14:12.781 And don't lose that one! 886 01:14:13.824 --> 01:14:17.745 Do you understand what it means if I turn the Internet off? 887 01:14:17.953 --> 01:14:22.291 Cities will go dark. Planes will fall out of the sky. 888 01:14:23.000 --> 01:14:26.462 Trains will collide. Law and order will break down 889 01:14:26.545 --> 01:14:29.423 and the world as you know it will be over. 890 01:14:30.132 --> 01:14:32.760 Show, don't tell, right? 891 01:14:36.555 --> 01:14:38.557 <i>Initiating attack, Jason.</i> 892 01:14:39.475 --> 01:14:41.477 <i>Taking control of junction box.</i> 893 01:14:42.603 --> 01:14:47.483 <i>Suspending Internet and electricity supply across Britain and Europe.</i> 894 01:14:48.525 --> 01:14:50.944 <i>Stage one of attack complete.</i> 895 01:14:51.445 --> 01:14:54.740 Ladies and gentlemen. I can stop the attack 896 01:14:54.823 --> 01:14:58.327 as long as each of you signs the same agreement as the Prime Minister, 897 01:14:58.410 --> 01:15:00.412 giving me complete control. 898 01:15:01.330 --> 01:15:02.748 Your call. 899 01:15:03.582 --> 01:15:06.377 <i>Welcome to British Intelligence. Get me Pegasus!</i> 900 01:15:06.794 --> 01:15:10.547 <i>For Ml5, press one. For MIG, press two.</i> 901 01:15:10.964 --> 01:15:13.300 <i>For M17, press three.</i> 902 01:15:19.890 --> 01:15:23.060 <i>Eight G12 signatures now acquired.</i> 903 01:15:24.103 --> 01:15:26.689 Signal the chopper, we're almost done here. 904 01:15:27.106 --> 01:15:28.899 <i>For accounts, press five.</i> 905 01:15:28.982 --> 01:15:31.318 <i>For childcare services. press six. Oh.</i> come <i>on!</i> 906 01:15:31.443 --> 01:15:33.779 <i>For more options, press seven.</i> 907 01:15:36.323 --> 01:15:37.324 What? 908 01:15:38.742 --> 01:15:43.914 <i>Only two further signatures required to achieve control of G12 nations' data.</i> 909 01:15:44.748 --> 01:15:46.166 <i>All UK data</i> 910 01:15:46.250 --> 01:15:49.044 <i>new successfully transferred to the Dot</i> Calm. 911 01:15:49.169 --> 01:15:52.673 <i>For Aphrodite, press one. For Pegasus, press two.</i> 912 01:15:55.217 --> 01:15:56.218 Oh, my God. 913 01:15:56.301 --> 01:16:00.013 <i>Dive the submarine. Repeat, dive the submarine.</i> 914 01:16:02.808 --> 01:16:04.935 Director's office? <i>This is Johnny English.</i> 915 01:16:05.060 --> 01:16:09.273 I need to speak to Pegasus immediately. It's a national emergency. 916 01:16:09.398 --> 01:16:10.958 One moment, please, sir. 917 01:16:12.860 --> 01:16:14.003 <i>This</i> is HMS Vengeance. 918 01:16:14.027 --> 01:16:17.656 We have a full launch code. Repeat, launch code is locked. 919 01:16:17.781 --> 01:16:19.783 <i>Do I have your permission to fire?</i> 920 01:16:19.908 --> 01:16:22.244 Oh, my God. Could you hold on one moment, please? 921 01:16:22.369 --> 01:16:24.121 Sir? Sir! 922 01:16:25.080 --> 01:16:26.081 Hello? 923 01:16:26.331 --> 01:16:27.332 <i>Hello?</i> 924 01:16:27.416 --> 01:16:30.544 Sir! HMS <i>Vengeance here.</i> Do I <i>have</i> your permission tolaunch? 925 01:16:30.669 --> 01:16:33.589 <i>What? Listen, we have to call in an attack.</i> 926 01:16:33.672 --> 01:16:34.983 <i>Did you say "atta ck," sir?</i> 927 01:16:35.007 --> 01:16:37.342 <i>Yes, an attack. Attack.</i> 928 01:16:38.719 --> 01:16:41.388 General quarters, we are go for launch. 929 01:16:41.513 --> 01:16:43.432 Target coordinates locked, Commander. 930 01:16:43.557 --> 01:16:44.558 Hello? 931 01:16:46.477 --> 01:16:47.519 Hello? 932 01:16:57.946 --> 01:17:00.491 Commander, the missile is being redirected. 933 01:17:01.325 --> 01:17:03.994 It seems to be looking on to a new hostile target. 934 01:17:06.622 --> 01:17:07.998 What's a "Sherbet F"? 935 01:17:19.301 --> 01:17:21.428 Oh. no. What was that? 936 01:17:22.971 --> 01:17:26.016 <i>Dot Calm appears to be offline, Jason.</i> 937 01:17:26.183 --> 01:17:28.852 <i>The cyber attack has been halted.</i> 938 01:17:32.898 --> 01:17:34.233 Did you 939 01:17:34.608 --> 01:17:37.194 make a call quite close to the submarine, sir? 940 01:17:40.072 --> 01:17:41.198 Um... 941 01:17:41.281 --> 01:17:42.366 Because”. 942 01:17:43.367 --> 01:17:44.701 You did it, sir! 943 01:17:45.869 --> 01:17:47.621 Mission accomplished! 944 01:17:48.163 --> 01:17:49.665 VVeH, exacfly! 945 01:17:51.416 --> 01:17:54.503 <i>I am re-evaluating our options, Jason.</i> 946 01:18:01.009 --> 01:18:02.845 Johnny! Johnny! 947 01:18:02.928 --> 01:18:06.014 Volta is getting away! He's heading for his helicopter! 948 01:18:06.098 --> 01:18:07.391 No, Bough. 949 01:18:08.600 --> 01:18:10.269 This one's mine. 950 01:18:43.886 --> 01:18:45.554 Careful, sir. Sir? 951 01:18:56.607 --> 01:18:58.275 Last two steps, sir. 952 01:19:03.363 --> 01:19:05.282 Not so fast, Volta! 953 01:19:06.909 --> 01:19:08.994 Is this supposed to scare me, Sir Lancelot? 954 01:19:14.124 --> 01:19:15.375 Take cover, Bough. 955 01:19:22.007 --> 01:19:25.552 Don't worry, he's only got six bullets in that thing. 956 01:19:29.014 --> 01:19:30.724 And, of course, the thing itself. 957 01:19:33.143 --> 01:19:35.187 You've run out of options, Volta. 958 01:19:36.021 --> 01:19:37.314 Oh, you think you've won? 959 01:19:37.397 --> 01:19:38.607 Mmm. 960 01:19:39.191 --> 01:19:42.235 <i>Rerouting the attack to our Nevada servers, Jason.</i> 961 01:19:42.861 --> 01:19:46.865 The world's going down, English. And I'll be the last man standing. 962 01:19:47.491 --> 01:19:50.535 Goodbye, English! Goodbye, Internet. 963 01:19:51.787 --> 01:19:56.458 I've got it. That's a Gazelle 341 light attack helicopter. 964 01:19:57.042 --> 01:19:59.544 If we can hack into its operating system, 965 01:19:59.795 --> 01:20:01.797 we can disable the drive function. 966 01:20:02.089 --> 01:20:03.090 Here. 967 01:20:06.927 --> 01:20:11.056 Look at you! You couldn't use that thing if your life depended on it! 968 01:20:14.017 --> 01:20:15.394 Let's get outta here. 969 01:20:16.103 --> 01:20:17.813 Get this steel bird in the... 970 01:20:23.026 --> 01:20:27.948 <i>Rerouting complete. Attack data now installed at our Nevada servers.</i> 971 01:20:28.365 --> 01:20:30.158 <i>Should I initiate?</i> 972 01:20:30.575 --> 01:20:31.576 <i>Jason?</i> 973 01:20:36.248 --> 01:20:38.417 <i>Should I initiate the new attack?</i> 974 01:20:39.459 --> 01:20:41.962 Initiate this! 975 01:20:42.045 --> 01:20:44.464 <i>Jason.</i> 976 01:20:55.726 --> 01:20:57.161 Well, uh, ladies and gentlemen. 977 01:20:57.185 --> 01:21:01.064 I think we can all agree, that wasn't quite the evening we were expecting. 978 01:21:06.403 --> 01:21:08.405 I had hoped to present to you tonight... 979 01:21:08.530 --> 01:21:10.824 Thank you... a vision of what Britain might be. 980 01:21:11.241 --> 01:21:14.995 But, as it happens, the man who saved us all this evening, 981 01:21:15.078 --> 01:21:18.623 the man who, I might add, I personally assigned to this case, 982 01:21:19.249 --> 01:21:21.460 has presented us with a different kind of vision. 983 01:21:21.543 --> 01:21:25.839 A living embodiment, if you like, of those fundamental British qualities 984 01:21:25.922 --> 01:21:30.218 that have ensured that our beloved island nation endures. 985 01:21:30.719 --> 01:21:33.638 Courage under fire, endless ingenuity 986 01:21:33.722 --> 01:21:35.640 and above all, a quiet 987 01:21:36.266 --> 01:21:38.977 unassailable dignity. 988 01:21:58.121 --> 01:21:59.372 Thank you. 989 01:22:06.546 --> 01:22:07.964 All together. 990 01:22:18.850 --> 01:22:20.560 Welcome back, Mr. English. 991 01:22:20.644 --> 01:22:21.812 Thank you, Headmaster. 992 01:22:21.895 --> 01:22:23.664 Thank you for agreeing to be our guest speaker. 993 01:22:23.688 --> 01:22:26.483 Now the governors and staff are all waiting for us in the rose garden. 994 01:22:26.566 --> 01:22:29.486 Yes, if you could just excuse me for a few minutes, Headmaster. 995 01:22:35.242 --> 01:22:36.243 Oh. 996 01:22:38.120 --> 01:22:39.371 Morning. sir! Hello. sir! 997 01:22:39.454 --> 01:22:41.706 Welcome back, sir! 998 01:22:45.752 --> 01:22:46.837 Surprise! 999 01:22:47.796 --> 01:22:48.964 Thank you. 1000 01:22:50.173 --> 01:22:51.758 <i>Where's Sinker?</i> 1001 01:22:52.676 --> 01:22:54.469 Good. Here. sir. 1002 01:22:54.719 --> 01:22:56.638 And, of course, Baggaley. 1003 01:22:57.931 --> 01:22:59.075 That was very good. Very good. 1004 01:22:59.099 --> 01:23:00.701 All right, gather round, everyone. Gather round. 1005 01:23:01.893 --> 01:23:03.812 I've got some toys to show you. 1006 01:23:03.895 --> 01:23:05.438 Ooh! There we go. 1007 01:23:06.523 --> 01:23:08.817 There we are. There we are. 1008 01:23:09.317 --> 01:23:11.403 - Breadstick blowpipe. anyone? - Me! 1009 01:23:11.486 --> 01:23:12.529 There you go. 1010 01:23:12.612 --> 01:23:14.865 Granny Smith hand grenade? 1011 01:23:15.407 --> 01:23:17.409 And what about a garroting watch? Here. sir. 1012 01:23:17.492 --> 01:23:18.493 There you go. 1013 01:23:19.870 --> 01:23:21.580 Ooh! Here, let me take that. 1014 01:23:21.705 --> 01:23:23.999 Don't worry. It's only a mild sedative. 1015 01:23:25.208 --> 01:23:27.711 Oh! That's just a five-second fuse. 1016 01:23:28.962 --> 01:23:31.590 Yes, all right, we all know what garroting looks like. 1017 01:23:31.715 --> 01:23:33.717 Whenever you're ready, Mr. English. 1018 01:23:33.842 --> 01:23:36.428 Oh, I'm sorry, Headmaster, I'll just be one moment. 1019 01:23:36.553 --> 01:23:38.722 Just take those. Thank you. Ooh. 1020 01:23:39.598 --> 01:23:42.642 Put those away, shall we? There we... 1021 01:23:43.351 --> 01:23:44.519 Um... 1022 01:23:45.353 --> 01:23:47.189 I always did love a jelly baby. 1023 01:23:47.213 --> 01:23:49.213 MkvCage.ws