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WEBVTT 1 00:00:26.402 --> 00:00:27.653 Okay. 2 00:00:27.945 --> 00:00:32.074 Everybody, eyes up here. It's time to get started. 3 00:00:32.366 --> 00:00:35.327 So, I was thinking this morning. 4 00:00:35.619 --> 00:00:40.583 I was thinking about what it was like being your age, 5 00:00:40.875 --> 00:00:46.922 how I'd come to worship like I was ticking off a to-do list. 6 00:00:47.214 --> 00:00:48.799 I didn't get it like I do now, 7 00:00:49.091 --> 00:00:54.388 and I thought, "Well, maybe I should tell you guys a secret." 8 00:00:54.680 --> 00:00:57.683 Do you know what we're trying to do every Sunday 9 00:00:57.975 --> 00:01:01.687 in church as adults? 10 00:01:01.979 --> 00:01:07.610 We're trying to undo the things we did when we were your age. 11 00:01:10.654 --> 00:01:14.033 Think about it. You're our future, 12 00:01:14.325 --> 00:01:15.743 and you are at an age 13 00:01:16.035 --> 00:01:18.662 where you are especially vulnerable to evil. 14 00:01:21.457 --> 00:01:24.085 Now when I say, "Evil," I mean evil. 15 00:01:27.963 --> 00:01:29.965 And you won't see it now. 16 00:01:30.257 --> 00:01:32.426 You won't see it tomorrow. 17 00:01:32.718 --> 00:01:37.431 But what feels like fun is actually the enemy, 18 00:01:37.723 --> 00:01:45.356 and that enemy is closing the noose around your neck. 19 00:01:45.648 --> 00:01:49.443 Bruce?! Is anyone home?! 20 00:01:54.115 --> 00:01:56.909 While you experiment and play with that yoke 21 00:01:57.201 --> 00:01:58.702 like it's a toy and you think, 22 00:01:58.994 --> 00:02:00.996 "Oh, just this once, just... 23 00:02:01.288 --> 00:02:04.333 just a little longer," click. 24 00:02:04.625 --> 00:02:06.252 It's got you. 25 00:02:16.804 --> 00:02:18.180 ♪ Anyone ♪ 26 00:02:19.974 --> 00:02:21.016 ♪ Anyone ♪ 27 00:02:21.308 --> 00:02:23.978 Okay. Wait. H-Honey. Honey. 28 00:02:24.270 --> 00:02:27.022 ♪ You can blame ♪ Can you stop it? 29 00:02:27.314 --> 00:02:30.609 ♪ Try to shame me ♪ 30 00:02:30.901 --> 00:02:33.070 ♪ And still I'll care ♪ 31 00:02:33.362 --> 00:02:34.613 ♪ For you ♪ 32 00:02:34.905 --> 00:02:36.282 They're here. 33 00:02:39.034 --> 00:02:41.412 ♪ You can run around ♪ 34 00:02:41.704 --> 00:02:43.539 Eyes to camera. 35 00:02:43.831 --> 00:02:44.911 ♪ Even put me down ♪ Boys... 36 00:02:45.082 --> 00:02:46.393 put your arms around the girls' waists. 37 00:02:46.417 --> 00:02:49.295 ♪ Still, I'll be there for you ♪ 38 00:02:49.587 --> 00:02:52.006 Yeah, or should I go up? Okay. 39 00:02:54.216 --> 00:02:57.720 ♪ The world ♪ 40 00:02:58.012 --> 00:03:00.806 ♪ May be gone foolish ♪ 41 00:03:01.098 --> 00:03:05.019 ♪ They can't see you ♪ 42 00:03:05.311 --> 00:03:06.770 ♪ Like I can ♪ 43 00:03:07.062 --> 00:03:08.898 You look really, really beautiful. 44 00:03:09.190 --> 00:03:11.108 ♪ Oh, but anyone ♪ 45 00:03:11.400 --> 00:03:12.400 Thanks. 46 00:03:12.526 --> 00:03:16.864 ♪ Who knows what love is ♪ 47 00:03:17.156 --> 00:03:25.414 ♪ Will understand ♪ 48 00:03:25.706 --> 00:03:27.124 ♪ Anyone ♪ 49 00:03:29.919 --> 00:03:31.337 ♪ Anyone ♪ 50 00:03:33.756 --> 00:03:37.384 ♪ Anyone ♪ ♪ I just feel so sorry ♪ 51 00:03:37.676 --> 00:03:40.763 ♪ Anyone ♪ ♪ For the ones ♪ 52 00:03:41.055 --> 00:03:43.682 ♪ Who pity me ♪ 53 00:03:48.938 --> 00:03:53.067 ♪ Anyone ♪ ♪ 'Cause they just don't know ♪ 54 00:03:53.359 --> 00:03:55.736 ♪ Anyone ♪ ♪ Oh, they don't know ♪ 55 00:03:56.028 --> 00:04:00.199 ♪ What happiness and love can be ♪ 56 00:04:05.704 --> 00:04:07.373 ♪ Ohhh ♪ ♪ I know ♪ 57 00:04:07.665 --> 00:04:10.793 ♪ I know to ever let you go ♪ 58 00:04:11.085 --> 00:04:13.837 ♪ Oh-oh, is more ♪ 59 00:04:14.129 --> 00:04:17.800 ♪ Than I could ever stand ♪ 60 00:04:18.092 --> 00:04:22.554 ♪ Ohhh, but anyone ♪ 61 00:04:22.846 --> 00:04:26.392 ♪ Who knows what love is ♪ 62 00:04:26.684 --> 00:04:32.273 ♪ Will understand ♪ 63 00:04:33.983 --> 00:04:35.693 ♪ Ohhh ♪ 64 00:04:35.985 --> 00:04:39.196 ♪ Anyone ♪ ♪ They will understand ♪ 65 00:04:39.488 --> 00:04:40.906 ♪ Anyone ♪ 66 00:04:41.198 --> 00:04:43.158 ♪ If they try love ♪ 67 00:04:43.450 --> 00:04:46.161 ♪ Anyone ♪ ♪ They'll understand ♪ 68 00:04:47.913 --> 00:04:48.998 ♪ Anyone ♪ 69 00:04:49.290 --> 00:04:51.417 ♪ Ohhh, try ♪ 70 00:04:51.709 --> 00:04:53.961 ♪ Anyone ♪ ♪ And understand ♪ 71 00:05:36.670 --> 00:05:38.797 I want to try something. 72 00:06:28.847 --> 00:06:30.557 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 73 00:06:31.850 --> 00:06:33.477 Oh, my God. 74 00:06:41.402 --> 00:06:43.445 Cameron, what the fuck? 75 00:06:46.031 --> 00:06:47.032 Jamie. 76 00:06:47.324 --> 00:06:48.325 What the fuck? 77 00:06:54.248 --> 00:06:56.375 I can't fucking believe this. 78 00:06:56.667 --> 00:06:59.336 I'm sorry. 79 00:06:59.628 --> 00:07:01.463 It's just so messed up! 80 00:07:43.338 --> 00:07:44.882 And by the time I was in my 30s, 81 00:07:45.174 --> 00:07:47.259 I didn't believe in God at all. 82 00:07:47.551 --> 00:07:49.511 You know what, George? It wasn't until... 83 00:07:49.803 --> 00:07:51.805 The Scripture we're referencing 84 00:07:52.097 --> 00:07:55.809 is Matthew 10:11, 85 00:07:56.101 --> 00:08:00.481 and if you go to Matthew 10:11, 86 00:08:00.772 --> 00:08:02.983 you'll probably know this one. 87 00:08:03.275 --> 00:08:06.195 Uh, whatever town or villa... 88 00:08:13.494 --> 00:08:14.661 Hey. 89 00:08:14.953 --> 00:08:17.164 Hello. 90 00:08:17.456 --> 00:08:19.750 I'm looking for Reverend Rick. 91 00:08:20.042 --> 00:08:23.837 He's still in a sermon. I'll take you to him. 92 00:08:41.230 --> 00:08:43.440 I'm Cameron. I know. 93 00:08:47.319 --> 00:08:52.908 ♪ Want to see the land so pure and true ♪ 94 00:08:53.200 --> 00:08:57.454 ♪ No, there's nothing I wouldn't do ♪ 95 00:08:57.746 --> 00:09:00.082 ♪ Just to be born anew ♪ 96 00:09:02.668 --> 00:09:06.046 ♪ Just to be born anew ♪ 97 00:09:06.338 --> 00:09:11.134 ♪ In Your eyes, my savior ♪ 98 00:09:11.426 --> 00:09:16.098 ♪ In Your heart, my savior ♪ 99 00:09:16.390 --> 00:09:20.811 ♪ In Your love, my savior ♪ 100 00:09:21.103 --> 00:09:24.314 ♪ My Lord ♪ 101 00:09:30.195 --> 00:09:33.240 All right, guys. Time's up. See you at dinner. 102 00:09:53.552 --> 00:09:55.929 Erin's a big Vikings fan, aren't you? 103 00:09:56.221 --> 00:09:57.764 Guilty as charged. 104 00:09:58.056 --> 00:10:01.393 But don't worry. You'll get decorating privileges soon. 105 00:10:03.228 --> 00:10:05.814 You have to earn certain rights at God's Promise. 106 00:10:06.106 --> 00:10:09.443 I swear it's not that bad... just decorating and mail. 107 00:10:09.735 --> 00:10:12.029 Most disciples get there in a few weeks. 108 00:10:12.321 --> 00:10:13.947 It's all spelled out in the contract. 109 00:10:16.366 --> 00:10:20.245 Maybe in the meantime, you'll become a Vikings fan. 110 00:10:20.537 --> 00:10:23.040 Who's your favorite team? I-I don't have one. 111 00:10:23.332 --> 00:10:25.083 I'm impressed. 112 00:10:25.375 --> 00:10:27.044 It's pretty rare that I don't manage to... 113 00:10:27.336 --> 00:10:31.340 Oh, spoke too soon. 114 00:10:31.632 --> 00:10:35.927 I'm guessing The Breeders aren't singing in praise of the Lord. 115 00:10:37.054 --> 00:10:38.972 Where did you get this? 116 00:10:39.264 --> 00:10:40.849 Columbia House. 117 00:10:44.603 --> 00:10:46.647 I'm done here. 118 00:10:46.938 --> 00:10:49.107 Take a look at the contract? 119 00:10:49.399 --> 00:10:51.360 Yeah. 120 00:10:51.652 --> 00:10:54.655 All that's left is your signature, and we're good to go. 121 00:10:59.576 --> 00:11:02.204 I think you're going to do really well here, Cammie. 122 00:11:15.384 --> 00:11:18.929 Perfect. Now you're officially a disciple of God's Promise. 123 00:11:19.221 --> 00:11:20.347 Welcome. 124 00:11:20.639 --> 00:11:23.016 Whoo! 125 00:11:38.949 --> 00:11:41.410 Fuck. 126 00:11:45.038 --> 00:11:47.874 I want you to put on your clothes and leave. 127 00:11:48.166 --> 00:11:50.335 No, you don't. Yes, I do. 128 00:11:53.630 --> 00:11:56.883 No, you don't. 129 00:11:57.175 --> 00:11:59.803 This movie's weird. 130 00:12:00.095 --> 00:12:01.221 I want you to leave. 131 00:12:01.513 --> 00:12:03.515 You knew that was going to happen. 132 00:12:03.807 --> 00:12:06.101 No, I didn't. 133 00:12:06.393 --> 00:12:09.146 I wouldn't know what to do. 134 00:12:09.438 --> 00:12:11.064 You can start by putting 135 00:12:11.356 --> 00:12:14.067 the do-not-disturb sign on the door. 136 00:12:14.359 --> 00:12:17.362 I really didn't know it was going to happen. 137 00:12:17.654 --> 00:12:19.614 Yes, you did. 138 00:12:19.906 --> 00:12:21.950 No, I didn't. Yes, you did. 139 00:12:25.620 --> 00:12:28.081 That part went smoothly. 140 00:12:32.669 --> 00:12:34.629 I'm not... 141 00:12:34.921 --> 00:12:36.548 taking off my robe. 142 00:12:36.840 --> 00:12:40.385 Well, everybody draws the line somewhere. 143 00:12:46.850 --> 00:12:48.935 I don't usually... 144 00:12:53.565 --> 00:13:00.197 ...feel this way. It's blocking me. 145 00:13:00.489 --> 00:13:04.868 I don't know if I've ever felt... 146 00:13:05.160 --> 00:13:07.954 this way before. 147 00:13:30.936 --> 00:13:32.896 Tell me when to stop. 148 00:13:57.379 --> 00:14:00.173 I think if your top priority is to get better, 149 00:14:00.465 --> 00:14:01.943 that should also be true of the people 150 00:14:01.967 --> 00:14:04.636 you surround yourself with, you know? 151 00:14:04.928 --> 00:14:07.722 And you think you're getting... better? 152 00:14:08.014 --> 00:14:09.140 Of course. 153 00:14:09.432 --> 00:14:11.726 I've been brought closer to God, 154 00:14:12.018 --> 00:14:13.687 and I can feel Him guiding me. 155 00:14:13.979 --> 00:14:16.106 Like, Helen's a really good friend, 156 00:14:16.398 --> 00:14:18.567 and we're positive influences on each other. 157 00:14:18.859 --> 00:14:21.653 That's her by the milk. 158 00:14:21.945 --> 00:14:24.406 It's a shame she's so... Hi! 159 00:14:26.533 --> 00:14:27.973 Well, she's kind of butch, isn't she? 160 00:14:29.744 --> 00:14:31.472 I know that's a mean word, but I mean it, like, 161 00:14:31.496 --> 00:14:34.332 factually, like, not in a mean way. 162 00:14:34.624 --> 00:14:35.959 That girl's name is Jane Fonda... 163 00:14:36.251 --> 00:14:38.169 like, her actual name. 164 00:14:40.130 --> 00:14:43.300 Either that or she's lying. 165 00:14:43.592 --> 00:14:44.968 She could be lying. 166 00:14:46.511 --> 00:14:48.763 Mark is really cool. 167 00:14:49.055 --> 00:14:51.558 Don't look now, but he's at my 12:00. 168 00:14:53.018 --> 00:14:54.311 You looked. 169 00:14:54.603 --> 00:14:55.963 He has a really nice singing voice, 170 00:14:56.187 --> 00:14:59.900 and, okay, you have to promise not to tell anyone, 171 00:15:00.191 --> 00:15:03.445 but I have a really big crush on him. 172 00:15:03.737 --> 00:15:05.906 My lips are sealed. 173 00:15:08.158 --> 00:15:12.537 Rick is such an inspiration. 174 00:15:12.829 --> 00:15:16.750 Do you know he used to struggle with same-sex attractions? 175 00:15:17.042 --> 00:15:18.126 Really? 176 00:15:18.418 --> 00:15:20.058 Yeah, and he's been in recovery for years, 177 00:15:20.086 --> 00:15:22.213 and now he and Bethany are girlfriend and boyfriend. 178 00:15:22.505 --> 00:15:24.591 Yeah. How cute is that? 179 00:15:24.883 --> 00:15:27.969 I think they could both do better. 180 00:15:28.261 --> 00:15:32.223 Totally. Wait. What? 181 00:15:32.515 --> 00:15:34.351 Honey, what grade were you starting at school? 182 00:15:34.643 --> 00:15:35.644 Um, 11th. 183 00:15:35.936 --> 00:15:38.229 Oh, great. I think we have that one. 184 00:15:38.521 --> 00:15:41.149 Okay. 185 00:15:41.441 --> 00:15:44.986 Uh... ah. 186 00:15:45.278 --> 00:15:46.905 Here we go. 187 00:15:47.197 --> 00:15:48.907 Does this look right to you? 188 00:15:49.199 --> 00:15:50.367 Yes. 189 00:15:52.077 --> 00:15:54.204 I apologize for the interruption, 190 00:15:54.496 --> 00:15:55.664 Ms. Kimballs-Ericson. 191 00:15:55.956 --> 00:15:59.167 I've come to meet our new disciple. 192 00:16:01.795 --> 00:16:04.714 Welcome, Cameron. I'm Dr. Lydia Marsh. 193 00:16:05.006 --> 00:16:06.925 I'm the director of God's Promise. 194 00:16:07.217 --> 00:16:08.426 Hi. 195 00:16:08.718 --> 00:16:10.929 It's a pleasure to meet you. 196 00:16:11.221 --> 00:16:13.101 I know the adjustment can be difficult at first, 197 00:16:13.264 --> 00:16:15.704 but I have every faith you'll find yourself at home here soon. 198 00:16:15.809 --> 00:16:17.569 In the meantime, please don't hesitate to ask 199 00:16:17.644 --> 00:16:19.479 if you need anything. 200 00:16:19.771 --> 00:16:21.606 Thank you. 201 00:16:21.898 --> 00:16:24.985 You should consider yourself amongst family, Cameron. 202 00:16:25.276 --> 00:16:27.362 You can call me "Cam." 203 00:16:27.654 --> 00:16:29.197 "Cameron" is already a masculine name. 204 00:16:29.489 --> 00:16:31.700 To abbreviate as something even less feminine 205 00:16:31.992 --> 00:16:34.494 only exacerbates your gender confusion. 206 00:16:37.622 --> 00:16:39.457 Right. 207 00:16:39.749 --> 00:16:42.002 Glad we're on the same page. 208 00:16:55.432 --> 00:16:57.142 I have told you 209 00:16:57.434 --> 00:16:58.935 to keep your hair 210 00:16:59.227 --> 00:17:02.022 out of your eyes. 211 00:17:02.313 --> 00:17:04.691 There's no hiding from God. 212 00:18:17.972 --> 00:18:20.558 Would you say that the tip of the iceberg looks scary 213 00:18:20.850 --> 00:18:23.520 to the people on the boat? 214 00:18:23.812 --> 00:18:25.146 Yeah. 215 00:18:25.438 --> 00:18:27.899 It's all the people on the ship want to focus on, 216 00:18:28.191 --> 00:18:32.028 but we know it's not the real problem, is it? 217 00:18:32.320 --> 00:18:34.697 No. 218 00:18:42.205 --> 00:18:46.501 Um, the same can be said for your same-sex attraction. 219 00:18:46.793 --> 00:18:50.296 The sin is so overwhelming 220 00:18:50.588 --> 00:18:53.341 that we become fixated on it, 221 00:18:53.633 --> 00:18:56.010 but the problems we really need to deal with 222 00:18:56.302 --> 00:18:58.429 are below the surface. 223 00:18:58.721 --> 00:19:02.559 Your attractions are a symptom of a larger problem. 224 00:19:02.851 --> 00:19:05.854 We're going to spend our time together like detectives 225 00:19:06.146 --> 00:19:09.566 investigating what in your past led you here, 226 00:19:09.858 --> 00:19:12.026 especially your relationship with your parents. 227 00:19:12.318 --> 00:19:14.988 What relationship? 228 00:19:15.280 --> 00:19:19.033 They died a long time ago. 229 00:19:19.325 --> 00:19:20.994 I know we're throwing a lot at you. 230 00:19:21.286 --> 00:19:23.538 How are you feeling? 231 00:19:23.830 --> 00:19:28.334 Good. Good. I'm good. I-I... 232 00:19:28.626 --> 00:19:30.795 I've just never thought of homosexuality like this. 233 00:19:31.087 --> 00:19:32.755 There's no such thing as homosexuality. 234 00:19:33.047 --> 00:19:36.801 There's only the same struggle with sin we all face. 235 00:19:37.093 --> 00:19:39.971 Would you let drug addicts throw parades for themselves? 236 00:19:42.557 --> 00:19:46.102 No. No, you wouldn't. 237 00:19:46.394 --> 00:19:47.729 Sin is sin. 238 00:19:48.021 --> 00:19:51.232 Your struggle is with the sin of same-sex attraction. 239 00:19:51.524 --> 00:19:53.164 The first step is for you to stop thinking 240 00:19:53.359 --> 00:19:54.652 of yourself as a homosexual. 241 00:19:54.944 --> 00:19:57.113 But I don't think of myself as a homosexual. 242 00:19:59.157 --> 00:20:01.201 I mean, I don't really think of myself as anything. 243 00:20:01.492 --> 00:20:04.495 You should think of yourself as a Christian. 244 00:20:04.787 --> 00:20:06.789 We're here to support you. 245 00:20:07.081 --> 00:20:11.127 Rick did the work, was able to overcome his own illness, 246 00:20:11.419 --> 00:20:14.422 and I have no doubt that you're capable of the same. 247 00:20:14.714 --> 00:20:16.424 I've been right where you are. 248 00:20:18.593 --> 00:20:21.054 I know how you feel. 249 00:20:34.984 --> 00:20:37.528 Is that your mom? 250 00:20:37.820 --> 00:20:40.990 She really looked like you. 251 00:20:43.493 --> 00:20:44.994 How's the iceberg coming? 252 00:20:45.286 --> 00:20:47.038 Good. 253 00:20:47.330 --> 00:20:48.331 Good, just slow. 254 00:20:51.292 --> 00:20:54.170 Oh, cool. 255 00:20:54.462 --> 00:20:57.799 I have gender confusion 'cause of sports, too. 256 00:20:58.091 --> 00:21:01.261 Wow. 257 00:21:01.552 --> 00:21:03.054 Cool. 258 00:21:03.346 --> 00:21:04.806 See you later. 259 00:21:20.530 --> 00:21:24.450 "Too much masculine bonding with Dad over football." 260 00:21:24.742 --> 00:21:26.953 Right up the middle! 261 00:21:27.245 --> 00:21:28.413 Yeah! Yeah! 262 00:21:28.705 --> 00:21:29.872 "Jessica's beauty, 263 00:21:30.164 --> 00:21:33.167 resulting in feelings of feminine inadequacy." 264 00:21:33.459 --> 00:21:35.962 "Lack of physical affection from my father." 265 00:21:40.800 --> 00:21:46.055 "Infatuation with soccer coach at Holy Light Summer Camp." 266 00:21:46.347 --> 00:21:47.724 "Inappropriate obsession 267 00:21:48.016 --> 00:21:49.767 with Vicki Jones from church choir." 268 00:21:50.059 --> 00:21:52.729 ♪ This little light of mine ♪ 269 00:21:53.021 --> 00:21:54.939 ♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪ 270 00:21:55.231 --> 00:21:56.274 ♪ This ♪ 271 00:21:56.566 --> 00:21:58.126 "Unresolved sexual trauma from 9th grade 272 00:21:58.276 --> 00:22:00.611 when Orin Bursock slapped my backside." 273 00:22:03.489 --> 00:22:06.993 "Too much bonding with Mom over feminine activities." 274 00:22:09.579 --> 00:22:13.333 "Belief in winkte conflicting with the Bible." 275 00:22:13.624 --> 00:22:15.960 "Early exposure to illegal drugs and alcohol 276 00:22:16.252 --> 00:22:18.338 at the commune." 277 00:22:21.841 --> 00:22:24.635 "Lack of stable and singular masculine..." 278 00:22:24.927 --> 00:22:26.554 What are you doing? 279 00:22:26.846 --> 00:22:30.350 Oh, um, I'm sorry. I was just... 280 00:22:30.641 --> 00:22:32.560 What? 281 00:22:32.852 --> 00:22:35.396 I was looking at your iceberg. 282 00:22:35.688 --> 00:22:38.107 Everyone does it. 283 00:22:38.399 --> 00:22:40.068 You done yours yet? 284 00:22:40.360 --> 00:22:41.611 No, not yet. 285 00:22:41.903 --> 00:22:44.280 You run, right? Yeah. 286 00:22:44.572 --> 00:22:46.908 Just talk about how positive reinforcements for sports 287 00:22:47.200 --> 00:22:48.480 messed with your gender identity. 288 00:22:48.659 --> 00:22:49.659 They love that shit. 289 00:22:51.537 --> 00:22:53.956 And how your parents gave you too much physical affection 290 00:22:54.248 --> 00:22:55.625 or not enough physical affection. 291 00:22:55.917 --> 00:22:59.170 Either way, that's why you're gay. 292 00:22:59.462 --> 00:23:01.672 My parents are dead. 293 00:23:01.964 --> 00:23:04.759 That should probably go in your iceberg. 294 00:23:07.345 --> 00:23:09.347 You grew up in a commune? 295 00:23:09.639 --> 00:23:11.599 Yeah. 296 00:23:11.891 --> 00:23:14.685 I didn't know hippies were evangelical. 297 00:23:14.977 --> 00:23:18.106 They're not. My mom's new husband is. 298 00:23:18.398 --> 00:23:21.734 One last question. I was in a car accident. 299 00:23:22.026 --> 00:23:25.446 I was actually going to ask you where you got your weed. 300 00:23:27.323 --> 00:23:28.825 I beg your pardon? 301 00:23:31.285 --> 00:23:33.663 I saw you and Adam in the cellar. 302 00:23:38.167 --> 00:23:41.671 I grow it myself. It's ditch weed. 303 00:23:41.963 --> 00:23:43.923 I already harvested, but there are some stragglers 304 00:23:44.090 --> 00:23:46.175 Adam and I are going to check out Thursday. 305 00:23:53.975 --> 00:23:57.645 You don't really seem like the kind of person that'd be here. 306 00:23:57.937 --> 00:23:59.897 Why? 'Cause I'm such a dick magnet? 307 00:24:02.150 --> 00:24:04.110 No, just... 308 00:24:04.402 --> 00:24:06.571 I didn't have a choice. 309 00:24:06.863 --> 00:24:09.240 Did you? 310 00:24:13.536 --> 00:24:16.205 I will not pray for God to change me 311 00:24:16.497 --> 00:24:19.167 because God does not make mistakes, 312 00:24:19.459 --> 00:24:23.671 and I am the one who is tempted by sin. 313 00:24:23.963 --> 00:24:26.841 Change will come through God 314 00:24:27.133 --> 00:24:28.468 but within me. Me. 315 00:24:28.759 --> 00:24:31.429 I must be the change. 316 00:24:34.640 --> 00:24:36.851 I've always known I didn't want to act 317 00:24:37.143 --> 00:24:39.020 on my same-sex attractions, 318 00:24:39.312 --> 00:24:43.858 so, in the past, I would resort to... self-pleasure. 319 00:24:44.150 --> 00:24:46.068 Then when I learned that that was a sin, also, 320 00:24:46.360 --> 00:24:48.321 I stopped, 321 00:24:48.613 --> 00:24:51.657 but it's like... shouldn't it be okay 322 00:24:51.949 --> 00:24:53.576 if it's instead of acting out? 323 00:24:55.036 --> 00:24:56.120 What? 324 00:24:56.412 --> 00:24:58.331 You can't get a pass from God to jerk off. 325 00:24:58.623 --> 00:24:59.624 Who asked you? 326 00:24:59.916 --> 00:25:03.461 Steve, what are you experiencing? 327 00:25:03.753 --> 00:25:07.590 I'm experiencing irritation. And why are you irritated? 328 00:25:07.882 --> 00:25:09.902 It's like he thinks he's better than everybody else. 329 00:25:09.926 --> 00:25:11.177 I feel that, too. 330 00:25:11.469 --> 00:25:12.970 Like, look at his body language. 331 00:25:13.262 --> 00:25:15.973 Yeah, Steve's projecting his masculine securities onto me, 332 00:25:16.265 --> 00:25:18.142 and Helen has to have an opinion on everything. 333 00:25:18.434 --> 00:25:19.769 That's not true. 334 00:25:20.061 --> 00:25:21.861 Dane brings up some interesting points. Really? 335 00:25:21.979 --> 00:25:24.208 It's like he can't do anything wrong because of his past. 336 00:25:24.232 --> 00:25:25.792 You have no idea what you're talking about! 337 00:25:25.816 --> 00:25:27.568 Okay. Then, Dane, just tell us. 338 00:25:27.860 --> 00:25:29.153 No. 339 00:25:29.445 --> 00:25:30.923 You don't go get to tell your reverend later 340 00:25:30.947 --> 00:25:32.823 about how you met a junkie in treatment. 341 00:25:33.115 --> 00:25:35.409 I'm not like you, and I'm glad I'm not like you. 342 00:25:35.701 --> 00:25:37.179 I don't even know you, but one look at you, 343 00:25:37.203 --> 00:25:38.663 and I can tell you're a dyke. 344 00:25:52.468 --> 00:25:54.887 How are you finding God's Promise, Cameron? 345 00:25:57.139 --> 00:26:00.142 Uh... good. 346 00:26:03.479 --> 00:26:06.148 I hope you use this time as an opportunity to examine 347 00:26:06.440 --> 00:26:08.442 the way you respond to discomfort. 348 00:26:11.612 --> 00:26:13.281 Okay. 349 00:26:13.573 --> 00:26:16.576 Dane, this instinct of yours to punish others 350 00:26:16.867 --> 00:26:20.955 for not having experienced the kind of trauma you have, 351 00:26:21.247 --> 00:26:22.790 who does it remind you of? 352 00:26:23.082 --> 00:26:26.294 My father. 353 00:26:26.586 --> 00:26:28.963 I can't hear you. 354 00:26:31.882 --> 00:26:34.343 My father. 355 00:26:41.851 --> 00:26:44.228 Hey. How's it going? 356 00:26:44.520 --> 00:26:45.688 It's okay. 357 00:26:48.524 --> 00:26:49.734 Follow me. 358 00:27:01.621 --> 00:27:04.790 So, this worked for you, then? 359 00:27:05.082 --> 00:27:06.417 Like, you changed? 360 00:27:06.709 --> 00:27:09.920 Yes. I changed. 361 00:27:10.212 --> 00:27:12.340 How? 362 00:27:12.632 --> 00:27:14.592 It was a process. 363 00:27:14.884 --> 00:27:18.387 It's funny, actually. 364 00:27:18.679 --> 00:27:21.265 The moment things began to turn around was in a bar. 365 00:27:21.557 --> 00:27:22.683 Bar? 366 00:27:22.975 --> 00:27:26.729 Yeah. A gay bar, of all places. 367 00:27:27.021 --> 00:27:29.357 Two men from my church came in. 368 00:27:29.649 --> 00:27:30.941 They saw my car parked outside, 369 00:27:31.233 --> 00:27:32.502 and they knew I'd been struggling, 370 00:27:32.526 --> 00:27:36.614 so they came in looking for me. 371 00:27:36.906 --> 00:27:38.199 Wow. 372 00:27:38.491 --> 00:27:40.785 It was God, Cameron. 373 00:27:41.077 --> 00:27:42.495 I asked for His help, 374 00:27:42.787 --> 00:27:46.457 and He gave it to me in the form of those allies. 375 00:27:46.749 --> 00:27:48.918 I was so deeply unhappy, 376 00:27:49.210 --> 00:27:53.047 but I didn't think I was worth saving, 377 00:27:53.339 --> 00:27:55.716 and I wonder if you've asked that of yourself. 378 00:27:57.843 --> 00:28:00.304 Are you worth saving? 379 00:28:07.311 --> 00:28:10.648 ♪ It's gonna be fun to Blessercize with Jesus ♪ 380 00:28:10.940 --> 00:28:13.859 ♪ To be fit for Him in every way ♪ 381 00:28:14.151 --> 00:28:16.904 ♪ He will bless my body, soul, and spirit... ♪ 382 00:28:17.196 --> 00:28:20.282 You know it's God who created these bodies of ours, 383 00:28:20.574 --> 00:28:22.284 and it's God who blesses them, 384 00:28:22.576 --> 00:28:24.078 and with His help, 385 00:28:24.370 --> 00:28:26.747 we can keep these bodies working in optimum condition. 386 00:28:27.039 --> 00:28:28.332 Are you ready to start 387 00:28:28.624 --> 00:28:30.584 your "Fun to Be Fit" Blessercize program? 388 00:28:30.876 --> 00:28:32.002 Huh? Come on, everybody! 389 00:28:32.294 --> 00:28:33.629 All right! 390 00:28:33.921 --> 00:28:36.006 You know, for too long, we have disassociated 391 00:28:36.298 --> 00:28:39.885 our spiritual selves from our physical selves, 392 00:28:40.177 --> 00:28:42.012 and it was only after the... 393 00:28:42.304 --> 00:28:45.433 only after I decided to give God my body 394 00:28:45.725 --> 00:28:50.312 as well as my spirit and soul that I discovered health... 395 00:28:50.604 --> 00:28:51.897 I mean, more energy 396 00:28:52.189 --> 00:28:53.941 than I think I've ever known in my life! 397 00:28:54.233 --> 00:28:57.236 Keep it going. Good! 398 00:28:57.528 --> 00:29:00.656 You know, there's another kind of warm-up that we do. 399 00:29:00.948 --> 00:29:02.575 Out you go and over. 400 00:29:02.867 --> 00:29:05.619 In fact, I think it's the most important warm-up of all. 401 00:29:05.911 --> 00:29:07.538 It's our spiritual warm-up. 402 00:29:07.830 --> 00:29:10.124 After all, that's what this whole program is all about. 403 00:29:10.416 --> 00:29:13.627 And up. Let's warm up with a Bible verse. 404 00:29:13.919 --> 00:29:16.088 Hey. Jane. 405 00:29:17.798 --> 00:29:20.634 Just in time. 406 00:29:20.926 --> 00:29:23.053 It's a really intense hike. 407 00:29:23.345 --> 00:29:25.890 Your shoes don't look right for it. 408 00:29:26.182 --> 00:29:28.058 Jane and I are wearing the exact same shoes. 409 00:29:28.350 --> 00:29:30.728 Don't be so paranoid. 410 00:29:33.314 --> 00:29:35.691 A warning would be nice. 411 00:29:44.533 --> 00:29:46.744 So, they let you go on hikes whenever you want? 412 00:29:47.036 --> 00:29:49.580 It's a gender-neutral sport. 413 00:29:49.872 --> 00:29:51.999 I mean, couldn't we just walk off? 414 00:29:52.291 --> 00:29:53.667 And go where? 415 00:29:53.959 --> 00:29:55.771 Yeah, should we go directly to Times Square to turn tricks, 416 00:29:55.795 --> 00:29:58.214 or would you rather try break-dancing first? 417 00:29:58.506 --> 00:30:01.801 What's worse... karaoke night or living on the streets? 418 00:30:02.092 --> 00:30:05.054 Tough call. 419 00:30:05.346 --> 00:30:07.014 What do you guys think of Dr. Marsh? 420 00:30:07.306 --> 00:30:09.600 I guess it's like having your own Disney villain, 421 00:30:09.892 --> 00:30:12.895 only this one won't let you jerk off. 422 00:30:13.187 --> 00:30:15.898 I find her kind of sexy. 423 00:30:16.190 --> 00:30:21.070 Sex with Lydia would be like fucking the mom from "Carrie." 424 00:30:21.362 --> 00:30:23.948 Cameron, Lydia... hot or not? 425 00:30:24.240 --> 00:30:25.950 Ugh. No comment. 426 00:30:28.035 --> 00:30:29.787 What's her deal anyway? 427 00:30:30.079 --> 00:30:32.289 Like, I know why Rick is here, 428 00:30:32.581 --> 00:30:35.417 but why does she give such a shit? 429 00:30:35.709 --> 00:30:37.878 She's not, like, ex-gay, is she? 430 00:30:38.170 --> 00:30:39.922 Ew, no. She's Rick's sister. 431 00:30:40.214 --> 00:30:41.549 Seriously? Yeah. 432 00:30:41.841 --> 00:30:42.967 She degayed him. 433 00:30:43.259 --> 00:30:45.261 Like, before, she was just a regular therapist, 434 00:30:45.553 --> 00:30:47.513 and then he became her human guinea pig. 435 00:30:47.805 --> 00:30:50.266 Wow. 436 00:30:50.558 --> 00:30:53.769 I bet she gives, like, wool socks for Christmas. 437 00:30:54.061 --> 00:30:55.938 I'd be so down with wool socks for Christmas. 438 00:30:56.230 --> 00:30:58.350 My grandma would be down for wool socks for Christmas. 439 00:30:58.440 --> 00:31:01.986 Old-people tastes and lesbian tastes run parallel. 440 00:31:05.072 --> 00:31:06.907 How long have you guys been here? 441 00:31:07.199 --> 00:31:10.619 I started last fall, and Adam came spring semester. 442 00:31:12.663 --> 00:31:17.668 Do you still consider yourself, like... gay? 443 00:31:17.960 --> 00:31:19.295 Don't answer that. 444 00:31:19.587 --> 00:31:21.964 You read our icebergs, but we don't know shit about you. 445 00:31:22.256 --> 00:31:23.424 How'd you get here? 446 00:31:23.716 --> 00:31:25.676 Were you caught, or could they just smell the SSA? 447 00:31:25.718 --> 00:31:29.305 You don't have to answer that if you don't want. 448 00:31:29.597 --> 00:31:32.057 It's okay. 449 00:31:32.349 --> 00:31:33.350 What's SSA? 450 00:31:33.642 --> 00:31:35.352 Same-sex attraction. 451 00:31:35.644 --> 00:31:38.314 Like, with Mark, you can just tell by looking at him. 452 00:31:38.606 --> 00:31:41.275 I'm pretty sure Erin turned herself in, 453 00:31:41.567 --> 00:31:43.485 and I think Helen probably thought 454 00:31:43.777 --> 00:31:45.571 she was going to music camp. 455 00:31:45.863 --> 00:31:50.326 My boyfriend walked in on me and this girl, Coley. 456 00:31:50.618 --> 00:31:53.621 Shit. 457 00:31:53.913 --> 00:31:55.289 Where'd they send her? 458 00:31:55.581 --> 00:31:56.874 Nowhere. 459 00:31:57.166 --> 00:31:58.292 It's fucked up. 460 00:31:58.584 --> 00:32:01.295 It's not her fault. 461 00:32:04.423 --> 00:32:06.008 You should forget about her. 462 00:32:06.300 --> 00:32:08.594 Why? 463 00:32:08.886 --> 00:32:10.406 I mean, who's to say I haven't already? 464 00:32:10.554 --> 00:32:12.115 It's just messed up that your life had to stop 465 00:32:12.139 --> 00:32:14.516 and hers didn't. 466 00:32:19.563 --> 00:32:22.650 What happened happened to both of us. 467 00:32:22.942 --> 00:32:25.819 I'm sure you'll work it out when you get out of here. 468 00:32:26.111 --> 00:32:27.947 That sounded sarcastic, but it's not. 469 00:32:28.238 --> 00:32:30.616 This is my genuine voice. 470 00:32:39.959 --> 00:32:43.253 ♪ I keep changing, but you're still the same ♪ 471 00:32:48.133 --> 00:32:49.152 Lydia says we can use the rec room 472 00:32:49.176 --> 00:32:50.678 if we wake up early enough. 473 00:32:50.970 --> 00:32:52.972 Cool. 474 00:32:53.263 --> 00:32:55.683 Tandy Campbell's a huge deal. 475 00:32:55.975 --> 00:32:58.102 I bet my aunt Ruth totally knows about her. 476 00:32:58.394 --> 00:32:59.979 I'm sure. 477 00:33:00.270 --> 00:33:01.855 Blessercize has helped so many people 478 00:33:02.147 --> 00:33:04.900 find their bodies through God, 479 00:33:05.192 --> 00:33:09.780 and I need a workout buddy, so it's a perfect fit. 480 00:33:10.072 --> 00:33:12.408 Sounds like a plan. 481 00:33:30.718 --> 00:33:32.302 You should get in line. 482 00:33:36.765 --> 00:33:37.933 You're stealing? 483 00:33:38.225 --> 00:33:39.703 No. It's only stealing if I actually leave 484 00:33:39.727 --> 00:33:41.454 the store with it, okay? I put it back on the shelf. 485 00:33:41.478 --> 00:33:42.855 No. No way. 486 00:33:43.147 --> 00:33:44.732 Erin, please. 487 00:33:45.024 --> 00:33:47.144 You had the sin in your heart, and that's what counts. 488 00:33:47.317 --> 00:33:48.652 I put it back on the shelf. 489 00:33:48.944 --> 00:33:50.547 I'm not being a good friend if I ignore your sin. 490 00:33:50.571 --> 00:33:52.948 Nice vest. 491 00:33:56.326 --> 00:33:58.871 Okay, fine. I'll tell Rick. 492 00:33:59.163 --> 00:34:00.789 It's the right choice. 493 00:34:01.081 --> 00:34:03.792 Hey, guys. Hi, Mark. 494 00:34:04.084 --> 00:34:05.895 So, I saw what happened. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, okay? 495 00:34:05.919 --> 00:34:07.439 I put it back on the shelf. Yeah, I-I know. 496 00:34:07.463 --> 00:34:09.381 But I-I also think Erin was right to stop you. 497 00:34:09.673 --> 00:34:11.050 I know. Thank you. 498 00:34:11.341 --> 00:34:14.178 That took a lot of courage. Yeah, I know. 499 00:34:14.470 --> 00:34:18.307 But maybe we could keep this between us three? 500 00:34:18.599 --> 00:34:19.808 Wait, really? Wh-Why? 501 00:34:20.100 --> 00:34:21.494 I think that you made a split-second mistake 502 00:34:21.518 --> 00:34:24.063 and you're sorry. 503 00:34:24.354 --> 00:34:25.856 That... That's just my opinion, 504 00:34:26.148 --> 00:34:27.733 so, you know, what do you think? 505 00:34:28.025 --> 00:34:30.152 I don't know. 506 00:34:30.444 --> 00:34:31.820 Well, you've learned your lesson? 507 00:34:32.112 --> 00:34:34.114 Yes. I'm... I'm so ashamed. 508 00:34:37.159 --> 00:34:38.827 I just want to look out for you 509 00:34:39.119 --> 00:34:41.205 the way I hope you'd look out for me. 510 00:34:41.497 --> 00:34:43.832 Yeah. Yeah, and you know how much I appreciate that? 511 00:34:48.837 --> 00:34:50.839 Thank you. 512 00:34:58.013 --> 00:34:59.139 ♪ Once upon a time ♪ 513 00:34:59.431 --> 00:35:01.350 ♪ I was all alone ♪ 514 00:35:01.642 --> 00:35:05.896 ♪ I was scared and I was idle ♪ 515 00:35:09.108 --> 00:35:12.903 ♪ I couldn't ask for help when I needed You ♪ 516 00:35:13.195 --> 00:35:17.491 ♪ 'Cause I was too full of pride ♪ 517 00:35:19.660 --> 00:35:23.288 ♪ Ahhhh ♪ ♪ And if anyone asks ♪ 518 00:35:23.580 --> 00:35:27.251 ♪ Ahhhh ♪ ♪ "Are you alone tonight?" ♪ 519 00:35:27.543 --> 00:35:32.422 ♪ Ahhhh ♪ ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪ 520 00:35:32.714 --> 00:35:36.426 ♪ Your footsteps right behind mine ♪ 521 00:35:39.847 --> 00:35:41.140 Check out Helen. 522 00:35:41.431 --> 00:35:44.143 ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪ 523 00:35:44.434 --> 00:35:45.834 ♪ Your footsteps right behind mine ♪ 524 00:35:46.061 --> 00:35:47.396 Her panties would be on that stage 525 00:35:47.688 --> 00:35:51.942 if she wasn't so afraid of the wrath of God. 526 00:35:52.234 --> 00:35:56.071 ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪ 527 00:35:56.363 --> 00:36:00.200 ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪ 528 00:36:00.492 --> 00:36:04.204 ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪ 529 00:36:04.496 --> 00:36:11.837 ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪ 530 00:36:12.129 --> 00:36:15.007 ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪ 531 00:36:15.299 --> 00:36:19.469 ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪ 532 00:36:19.761 --> 00:36:23.140 ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪ 533 00:36:23.432 --> 00:36:26.852 ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪ 534 00:36:37.821 --> 00:36:40.741 I want to use my voice in service of God, 535 00:36:41.033 --> 00:36:45.204 and I can't do that if I'm living with sin in my heart, 536 00:36:45.495 --> 00:36:48.373 and they could tell. 537 00:36:48.665 --> 00:36:53.045 Of course, they could all tell that I was struggling with SSA, 538 00:36:53.337 --> 00:36:57.925 and they asked me to leave the group, 539 00:36:58.217 --> 00:37:02.304 and it was... 540 00:37:02.596 --> 00:37:05.891 Yeah, it was the worst day of my life. 541 00:37:12.356 --> 00:37:16.193 What about you? 542 00:37:16.485 --> 00:37:19.529 I was running with her faster. 543 00:37:19.821 --> 00:37:22.324 Did you hear that? What? 544 00:37:22.616 --> 00:37:23.825 Cam, I'm home! 545 00:37:28.872 --> 00:37:30.832 Um... 546 00:37:33.961 --> 00:37:36.338 ...I can't really think of anything. 547 00:37:36.630 --> 00:37:38.340 Don't overthink it. 548 00:37:38.632 --> 00:37:40.425 When did your same-sex attractions 549 00:37:40.717 --> 00:37:43.095 get in the way of your goals? 550 00:37:47.557 --> 00:37:49.643 I don't know. 551 00:37:49.935 --> 00:37:52.020 Why can't you try? 552 00:37:54.898 --> 00:37:56.275 I mean, I am trying. 553 00:37:56.566 --> 00:37:57.566 No, you're not. 554 00:37:57.609 --> 00:38:00.195 What? Is there a problem? 555 00:38:00.487 --> 00:38:02.322 I'm... I'm sorry. I don't... 556 00:38:02.614 --> 00:38:04.741 I-Is this just a joke to you? 557 00:38:05.033 --> 00:38:06.785 What? I-I didn't even say anything. 558 00:38:07.077 --> 00:38:09.204 Exactly. You never say anything, 559 00:38:09.496 --> 00:38:12.833 and... and your silence feels aggressive and judgmental, 560 00:38:13.125 --> 00:38:14.376 and it makes the space not safe. 561 00:38:14.668 --> 00:38:15.836 That's ridiculous. 562 00:38:16.128 --> 00:38:19.006 Well, Helen perceives hostility in your behavior. 563 00:38:19.298 --> 00:38:20.465 You can agree or not, 564 00:38:20.757 --> 00:38:23.844 but you must recognize that that is her truth. 565 00:38:26.221 --> 00:38:29.725 Well, I-I mean, what do you want me to say? 566 00:38:30.017 --> 00:38:32.978 Anything. Just be honest. 567 00:38:41.320 --> 00:38:44.614 Tell us about that girl you knew from home. 568 00:38:51.580 --> 00:38:53.874 Okay. Um... 569 00:38:54.166 --> 00:38:57.794 her name was Coley. 570 00:38:58.086 --> 00:39:01.173 We were in the same Bible study. 571 00:39:01.465 --> 00:39:03.842 What was she like? 572 00:39:06.803 --> 00:39:09.139 She was perfect. 573 00:39:10.599 --> 00:39:14.895 But she wasn't full of herself. 574 00:39:15.187 --> 00:39:16.587 You know, she was the type of person 575 00:39:16.730 --> 00:39:19.483 that, no matter who you were, you'd meet her, 576 00:39:19.775 --> 00:39:21.568 and you'd... you'd want to be her friend. 577 00:39:23.820 --> 00:39:28.241 It's said that cannibals only eat the enemies they admire 578 00:39:28.533 --> 00:39:31.453 as a way to take inside their best qualities. 579 00:39:33.789 --> 00:39:34.998 Okay. 580 00:39:35.290 --> 00:39:37.209 When you speak, you reveal a compulsion 581 00:39:37.501 --> 00:39:39.294 to take into yourself 582 00:39:39.586 --> 00:39:41.838 the qualities you admired in this girl. 583 00:39:46.218 --> 00:39:47.969 I wanted to be like her, 584 00:39:48.261 --> 00:39:50.555 and I confused that with being with her? 585 00:39:50.847 --> 00:39:53.517 Correct. 586 00:39:56.436 --> 00:39:58.939 I guess that makes sense. 587 00:39:59.231 --> 00:40:03.527 It's like I thought I was in love with Vicki Jones, 588 00:40:03.819 --> 00:40:07.197 but... what I really loved was her perfect pitch. 589 00:40:27.217 --> 00:40:29.761 Looks like I'm going home at the end of this semester. 590 00:40:30.053 --> 00:40:32.097 Oh, cool. 591 00:40:32.389 --> 00:40:34.057 Congratulations. 592 00:40:39.479 --> 00:40:41.231 Can I ask you a personal question? 593 00:40:41.523 --> 00:40:42.941 Uh-huh, sure. 594 00:40:43.233 --> 00:40:44.818 Do you believe in God? 595 00:40:48.655 --> 00:40:50.699 Um... 596 00:40:56.329 --> 00:40:58.049 ...I-I guess I don't... I don't really know. 597 00:41:00.250 --> 00:41:02.711 Yeah. That's okay. 598 00:41:06.631 --> 00:41:09.718 I guess every time... 599 00:41:10.010 --> 00:41:12.679 I pray... 600 00:41:12.971 --> 00:41:16.266 I kind of feel like I'm being phony. 601 00:41:17.392 --> 00:41:21.146 Yeah. I-I think everybody can feel like that sometimes, 602 00:41:21.438 --> 00:41:22.958 but I also think that those are moments 603 00:41:23.064 --> 00:41:26.485 where it's really important to lean back on your faith 604 00:41:26.776 --> 00:41:28.820 and trust that that will take you forward. 605 00:41:34.034 --> 00:41:35.952 I don't think I really have any faith. 606 00:41:38.663 --> 00:41:40.582 Or at least I don't... 607 00:41:40.874 --> 00:41:42.474 really know how to go about getting it... 608 00:41:44.920 --> 00:41:47.756 ...or if I really want it. 609 00:41:48.048 --> 00:41:51.843 Look, I get it. I'm not going to lie to you. 610 00:41:52.135 --> 00:41:54.971 I can feel very lost. 611 00:41:55.263 --> 00:42:00.352 But I find it important to remember... 612 00:42:00.644 --> 00:42:02.938 one foot in front of the other. 613 00:42:06.233 --> 00:42:08.033 You write here that the positive reinforcement 614 00:42:08.151 --> 00:42:11.363 you receive for athleticism confused your gender identity. 615 00:42:15.116 --> 00:42:17.118 Expand on that. 616 00:42:17.410 --> 00:42:20.372 Um... 617 00:42:20.664 --> 00:42:22.123 I don't know. 618 00:42:22.415 --> 00:42:24.543 You must have had a reason to put it on your iceberg. 619 00:42:29.422 --> 00:42:31.925 Well, I was always encouraged to compete. 620 00:42:32.217 --> 00:42:33.857 You know, I was all-state track and field, 621 00:42:33.885 --> 00:42:37.764 so my entire family would come and watch, cheer me on. 622 00:42:38.056 --> 00:42:40.225 That's how you earned their love? 623 00:42:40.517 --> 00:42:43.353 No. I wouldn't say that. 624 00:42:43.645 --> 00:42:45.689 They weren't... like that. 625 00:42:45.981 --> 00:42:48.858 What were they like? 626 00:42:52.070 --> 00:42:54.489 They were fine. 627 00:42:54.781 --> 00:42:57.742 Cameron... 628 00:42:58.034 --> 00:42:59.536 if your parents were still alive, 629 00:42:59.828 --> 00:43:02.455 do you think they'd be proud of you? 630 00:43:05.709 --> 00:43:06.918 Uh, I don't know. 631 00:43:07.210 --> 00:43:09.671 Your aunt said they had concerns about you. 632 00:43:22.851 --> 00:43:25.979 Cameron, your progress is dependent 633 00:43:26.271 --> 00:43:28.148 on the effort you put in, 634 00:43:28.440 --> 00:43:30.025 in our work together. 635 00:43:30.317 --> 00:43:34.821 Your success or failure is entirely in your own hands. 636 00:43:35.113 --> 00:43:38.867 Do you understand that? 637 00:43:39.159 --> 00:43:40.452 Okay. 638 00:43:40.744 --> 00:43:44.497 Okay. 639 00:44:55.318 --> 00:44:57.278 Fuck. 640 00:45:51.040 --> 00:45:52.792 Hello? 641 00:45:53.084 --> 00:45:54.085 Hey. 642 00:45:54.377 --> 00:45:57.464 Uh, it's me... 643 00:45:57.756 --> 00:45:59.048 Cameron. 644 00:46:01.217 --> 00:46:03.344 Hey. 645 00:46:03.636 --> 00:46:05.764 Are you at that place? 646 00:46:06.055 --> 00:46:08.850 Yeah. Um... 647 00:46:09.142 --> 00:46:11.895 listen, I've been thinking about what happened, 648 00:46:12.187 --> 00:46:15.607 and I just want to say I'm sorry. 649 00:46:15.899 --> 00:46:18.818 It was really shitty the way it all went down. 650 00:46:19.110 --> 00:46:20.945 Yeah. 651 00:46:21.237 --> 00:46:24.199 Did you get my letter? I sent you a letter. 652 00:46:24.491 --> 00:46:26.868 Wait, really? Yeah. 653 00:46:27.160 --> 00:46:28.304 Hey, guys! Time to wrap it up! 654 00:46:28.328 --> 00:46:29.328 Hey, eyes up here, guys! 655 00:46:29.537 --> 00:46:31.748 Coley, I have to... I have to go. 656 00:46:32.040 --> 00:46:33.374 I'll call you back. 657 00:46:35.418 --> 00:46:37.498 How long did it take you guys to get mail privileges? 658 00:46:37.629 --> 00:46:38.922 I don't know. 659 00:46:39.214 --> 00:46:42.467 Like, two months... maybe longer. 660 00:46:42.759 --> 00:46:45.386 Hey! I did it! 661 00:46:45.678 --> 00:46:47.305 Great! 662 00:47:09.744 --> 00:47:11.496 What the...? 663 00:47:19.128 --> 00:47:22.382 Hey, Adam. 664 00:47:22.674 --> 00:47:24.509 What's winkte mean? 665 00:47:24.801 --> 00:47:27.762 Winkte? Why do you ask? 666 00:47:28.054 --> 00:47:29.597 Um... 667 00:47:29.889 --> 00:47:31.266 I read it... 668 00:47:31.558 --> 00:47:33.518 on your iceberg. 669 00:47:35.270 --> 00:47:37.355 Yeah. It's a... It's a Lakotan word for two-spirit. 670 00:47:37.647 --> 00:47:39.607 It's like a... It's like a third gender. 671 00:47:41.985 --> 00:47:44.404 Okay, so, I am two-spirit, 672 00:47:44.696 --> 00:47:46.739 which, uh, means I was born with a man's soul 673 00:47:47.031 --> 00:47:48.324 and a woman's soul, 674 00:47:48.616 --> 00:47:50.696 and, uh, literally, "winkte" means "killed by woman," 675 00:47:50.785 --> 00:47:52.078 so it's as if the male part of me 676 00:47:52.370 --> 00:47:54.330 is being killed by the female part. 677 00:47:54.622 --> 00:47:56.875 That make sense? 678 00:47:57.166 --> 00:48:00.003 He's basically like the Native American David Bowie. 679 00:48:00.295 --> 00:48:03.172 I'll take it. 680 00:48:03.464 --> 00:48:05.133 So, why'd your parents send you here? 681 00:48:05.425 --> 00:48:07.051 His dad got into politics, 682 00:48:07.343 --> 00:48:10.680 and then he converted to Christianity. 683 00:48:10.972 --> 00:48:12.557 Me being like this... 684 00:48:12.849 --> 00:48:14.517 fucks his image. 685 00:48:23.860 --> 00:48:25.612 Did, um... 686 00:48:25.904 --> 00:48:28.104 Did Rick tell you guys the story about how he was saved? 687 00:48:30.450 --> 00:48:32.452 You mean how Christian allies happened upon his car 688 00:48:32.744 --> 00:48:35.914 in the parking lot of a gay bar and went inside to investigate? 689 00:48:36.205 --> 00:48:38.458 There was this, like, weird staredown, 690 00:48:38.750 --> 00:48:44.464 and everybody is like, "Fuck," and, finally, Rick is like, 691 00:48:44.756 --> 00:48:47.675 "Oh, my God. Did you guys come here to save me?" 692 00:48:47.967 --> 00:48:53.139 They're like, "Oh, yeah. We were driving, and we saw your car." 693 00:48:53.431 --> 00:48:56.017 "You drive the blue..." "Gray Toyota Camry," yes. 694 00:48:56.309 --> 00:48:57.936 "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course." Mm-hmm. 695 00:48:58.227 --> 00:48:59.987 We were driving. We saw it, and we were like, 696 00:49:00.021 --> 00:49:03.566 'Wow, Rick really needs our help finding God, ' 697 00:49:03.858 --> 00:49:07.195 and that's why we're here, not to suck your dick." 698 00:49:18.748 --> 00:49:21.709 That's really good. 699 00:49:22.001 --> 00:49:24.629 I'm too stoned for art therapy. 700 00:49:27.507 --> 00:49:30.593 I'm sorry. How is this supposed to help us? 701 00:49:30.885 --> 00:49:33.137 Just think of it as a test of how far your bullshit 702 00:49:33.429 --> 00:49:35.098 can take you. Like... 703 00:49:35.390 --> 00:49:38.059 ...let's see. Um... 704 00:49:38.351 --> 00:49:40.144 this woman riding a horse? Mm-hmm. 705 00:49:40.436 --> 00:49:44.107 She's you galloping away from a past of gender confusion 706 00:49:44.399 --> 00:49:48.027 and into a bright future of opposite-sex lovemaking. 707 00:49:48.319 --> 00:49:49.445 And, uh... 708 00:49:49.737 --> 00:49:50.905 hold on. 709 00:49:51.197 --> 00:49:52.573 This cat... 710 00:49:52.865 --> 00:49:55.576 and this cat is the devil. Think of it as your past, 711 00:49:55.868 --> 00:49:58.538 the temptations and the dangers and... 712 00:49:58.830 --> 00:49:59.830 Hey, how are you? 713 00:50:00.081 --> 00:50:01.791 Good work, Adam. Thank you. 714 00:50:03.960 --> 00:50:05.253 "Good work, Adam." 715 00:50:05.545 --> 00:50:07.255 This Pillsbury Doughboy? 716 00:50:07.547 --> 00:50:10.174 Domesticity and comfort and family. 717 00:50:10.466 --> 00:50:13.011 I mean, just imagine you're all sitting at a table together 718 00:50:13.302 --> 00:50:16.889 eating crescent rolls like a healthy American family. 719 00:50:17.181 --> 00:50:21.019 It's like watching Michaelangelo paint the Sistine Chapel. 720 00:50:21.310 --> 00:50:23.604 What? Why are you laughing? You know I'm right. 721 00:50:23.896 --> 00:50:25.023 That is why I'm laughing. 722 00:50:25.314 --> 00:50:28.443 I mean, the system is working on you. 723 00:50:28.735 --> 00:50:32.822 Fuck you. No, it's not working on me at all. 724 00:50:40.121 --> 00:50:41.664 ♪ Oooh ♪ 725 00:50:41.956 --> 00:50:43.541 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh ♪ 726 00:50:43.833 --> 00:50:46.961 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 727 00:50:47.253 --> 00:50:52.258 ♪ Ooh, ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh ♪ 728 00:50:52.550 --> 00:50:54.969 ♪ And I try ♪ 729 00:50:55.261 --> 00:50:58.514 ♪ Oh, my God, do I try ♪ 730 00:50:58.806 --> 00:51:02.643 ♪ I try all the time ♪ 731 00:51:02.935 --> 00:51:06.522 ♪ In this institution ♪ 732 00:51:06.814 --> 00:51:09.484 ♪ And I pray ♪ 733 00:51:09.776 --> 00:51:12.487 ♪ Oh, my God, do I pray ♪ 734 00:51:12.779 --> 00:51:16.866 ♪ I pray every single day ♪ 735 00:51:17.158 --> 00:51:19.243 ♪ For revolution ♪ 736 00:51:19.535 --> 00:51:21.454 Whoo! It's really embarrassing. 737 00:51:21.746 --> 00:51:23.766 ♪ And so I cry sometimes ♪ Please... Please don't stop. 738 00:51:23.790 --> 00:51:25.249 ♪ When I'm lying in bed ♪ 739 00:51:25.541 --> 00:51:28.544 ♪ Just to get it all out what's in my head ♪ 740 00:51:28.836 --> 00:51:29.921 ♪ And I ♪ 741 00:51:30.213 --> 00:51:31.547 ♪ I am feeling ♪ Get up on stage. 742 00:51:31.839 --> 00:51:35.259 ♪ A little peculiar ♪ 743 00:51:35.551 --> 00:51:37.553 Sing it. ♪ And I wake in the morning ♪ 744 00:51:37.845 --> 00:51:39.514 ♪ And I step outside ♪ 745 00:51:39.806 --> 00:51:41.140 ♪ And I take a deep breath ♪ 746 00:51:41.432 --> 00:51:43.684 ♪ And I get real high, and I ♪ 747 00:51:43.976 --> 00:51:45.536 Whoo! ♪ Scream from the top of my lungs ♪ 748 00:51:45.812 --> 00:51:47.230 ♪ "What's going on?!" ♪ 749 00:51:47.522 --> 00:51:48.940 Come on, everyone! 750 00:51:49.232 --> 00:51:53.986 ♪ And I say, "Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah" ♪ 751 00:51:54.278 --> 00:51:56.781 ♪ "Hey, yeah, yeah" ♪ 752 00:51:57.073 --> 00:51:59.867 ♪ I said, "Hey!" ♪ Helen! 753 00:52:00.159 --> 00:52:01.744 ♪ What's going on?! ♪ 754 00:52:10.837 --> 00:52:12.505 Back to work. 755 00:52:12.797 --> 00:52:18.719 The station went static, so we changed it. 756 00:52:19.011 --> 00:52:20.656 Adam, if you don't get that hair out of your eyes, 757 00:52:20.680 --> 00:52:21.840 I'll shave it off. Yes, ma'am. 758 00:52:22.098 --> 00:52:24.684 Cameron, come with me. 759 00:52:24.976 --> 00:52:27.228 Shit. 760 00:52:36.237 --> 00:52:38.030 Why now? 761 00:52:38.322 --> 00:52:40.575 I think you'll benefit from what's in those letters. 762 00:52:45.121 --> 00:52:47.081 Thank you. 763 00:53:19.655 --> 00:53:21.282 I'm sorry. 764 00:53:21.574 --> 00:53:25.244 It's just so messed up! 765 00:53:30.208 --> 00:53:34.462 I'm sorry. 766 00:53:34.754 --> 00:53:35.922 Coley. 767 00:53:36.214 --> 00:53:37.715 Are you fucking kidding me? 768 00:53:38.007 --> 00:53:40.635 Coley, please just get out of the car. 769 00:53:42.511 --> 00:53:45.097 Coley, come on. Just get out of the car. 770 00:53:52.146 --> 00:53:54.398 F-Fuck! 771 00:54:01.197 --> 00:54:02.865 Jamie, I... 772 00:54:07.578 --> 00:54:09.747 "Dear Cameron, I'm very angry at you 773 00:54:10.039 --> 00:54:12.875 for taking advantage of our friendship." 774 00:54:13.167 --> 00:54:15.795 Shit. Keep reading it. 775 00:54:16.087 --> 00:54:18.047 "You already had this thing in you, but I didn't. 776 00:54:18.339 --> 00:54:19.608 When I think of how long it took me 777 00:54:19.632 --> 00:54:20.817 to gain the strength to tell my mom..." 778 00:54:20.841 --> 00:54:23.678 She told. It wasn't Jamie. 779 00:54:23.970 --> 00:54:27.848 What if she's right... 780 00:54:28.140 --> 00:54:30.059 you know, like I-I-I took complete advantage 781 00:54:30.351 --> 00:54:31.477 of our friendship 782 00:54:31.769 --> 00:54:34.313 and I wasn't even aware I was doing it? 783 00:54:34.605 --> 00:54:36.691 No. 784 00:54:36.983 --> 00:54:38.985 Pink stationery does not get to fuck with you. 785 00:54:44.699 --> 00:54:47.785 This girl is spineless. 786 00:54:48.077 --> 00:54:49.704 Let's say what you did was fucked up 787 00:54:49.996 --> 00:54:51.539 and you infected her or whatever. 788 00:54:51.831 --> 00:54:54.208 It was a shit move to rat you out. 789 00:54:54.500 --> 00:54:55.740 She was just trying to help me. 790 00:54:55.960 --> 00:54:58.296 She's a fucking rat. And she misspelled "courage." 791 00:54:58.587 --> 00:55:00.464 Stop it. 792 00:55:00.756 --> 00:55:03.050 She's better than all of us. 793 00:55:03.342 --> 00:55:06.637 And I hurt her. 794 00:55:06.929 --> 00:55:12.518 What if this really is our only chance and we're blowing it? 795 00:55:12.810 --> 00:55:15.521 I'm tired of feeling disgusted with myself. 796 00:55:19.650 --> 00:55:21.861 Maybe you're supposed to feel disgusted with yourself 797 00:55:22.153 --> 00:55:23.654 when you're a teenager. 798 00:55:58.397 --> 00:56:00.441 Hello? 799 00:56:00.733 --> 00:56:02.151 Ruth? 800 00:56:02.443 --> 00:56:03.903 Cam? 801 00:56:04.195 --> 00:56:05.821 Hey. 802 00:56:06.113 --> 00:56:09.492 What a nice surprise! How are you? 803 00:56:09.784 --> 00:56:12.370 I miss you. 804 00:56:12.661 --> 00:56:14.622 Are you okay? 805 00:56:18.584 --> 00:56:22.380 If I told you I was unhappy... 806 00:56:22.671 --> 00:56:27.176 and that I wanted to come home... 807 00:56:27.468 --> 00:56:29.178 would you let me? 808 00:56:29.470 --> 00:56:31.263 Cam, come on. 809 00:56:31.555 --> 00:56:34.225 You have to give it a chance. 810 00:56:36.519 --> 00:56:39.730 You know I'm doing this because I love you. 811 00:56:47.446 --> 00:56:50.157 Don't you want to have a family someday? 812 00:56:56.288 --> 00:56:58.249 I love you, Cammie. 813 00:56:58.541 --> 00:57:01.544 I love you, too. 814 00:57:03.671 --> 00:57:05.423 Bye, Ruth. 815 00:57:39.748 --> 00:57:45.588 How are you feeling, Cameron? 816 00:57:45.880 --> 00:57:49.175 Um... 817 00:57:49.467 --> 00:57:51.927 I'm okay. 818 00:57:52.219 --> 00:57:53.929 You don't seem okay. 819 00:57:58.267 --> 00:57:59.810 I've been better. 820 00:58:00.102 --> 00:58:04.899 You're facing the consequences of your actions, and it's ugly. 821 00:58:08.402 --> 00:58:10.654 Now what? 822 00:58:10.946 --> 00:58:14.783 Now you stop fighting the process. 823 00:58:25.544 --> 00:58:27.129 Are you ready? 824 00:58:27.421 --> 00:58:29.673 You know it's God who created these bodies of ours 825 00:58:29.965 --> 00:58:32.092 and it's God who blesses them. 826 00:58:32.384 --> 00:58:37.056 And with His help, we can keep these bodies working in optimum condition. 827 00:58:37.348 --> 00:58:40.059 Are you ready to start your "Fun to Be Fit" Blessercize program? 828 00:58:40.351 --> 00:58:42.061 Huh? Come on, everybody! 829 00:58:42.353 --> 00:58:43.687 All right! 830 00:58:43.979 --> 00:58:46.106 Let's engage in some cardiovascular fitness 831 00:58:46.398 --> 00:58:48.108 unto the Lord. Ready? 832 00:58:48.400 --> 00:58:51.612 ♪ It's gonna be fun to Blessercize with Jesus ♪ 833 00:58:51.904 --> 00:58:55.115 ♪ To be fit for Him in every way ♪ 834 00:58:55.407 --> 00:58:58.118 ♪ He will bless my body, soul, and spirit ♪ 835 00:58:58.410 --> 00:59:00.746 ♪ And keep me with Him every day ♪ 836 00:59:01.038 --> 00:59:03.457 ♪ I'm gonna sing praise, hallelujah! ♪ 837 00:59:03.749 --> 00:59:06.961 ♪ 'Cause my body's growing firm and strong ♪ 838 00:59:07.253 --> 00:59:08.493 You know what we're doing here? 839 00:59:08.629 --> 00:59:10.464 We're developing our inner person. 840 00:59:10.756 --> 00:59:13.175 You are heading toward godliness, you see, 841 00:59:13.467 --> 00:59:14.843 in every area of your life, 842 00:59:15.135 --> 00:59:17.221 and that takes some work. 843 00:59:17.513 --> 00:59:18.793 ♪ The Lord is gonna Blessercize ♪ 844 00:59:18.847 --> 00:59:20.182 ♪ Blessercize ♪ 845 00:59:20.474 --> 00:59:22.810 ♪ I'm growing stronger every day ♪ 846 00:59:23.102 --> 00:59:24.353 ♪ I'm gonna make a new start ♪ 847 00:59:24.645 --> 00:59:28.983 And that is your stomach workout. Terrific! 848 00:59:29.275 --> 00:59:31.360 ♪ Blessercize ♪ 849 00:59:43.372 --> 00:59:46.250 Is there anything I can help you with? 850 00:59:55.676 --> 00:59:57.469 Cameron. 851 00:59:57.761 --> 00:59:59.241 Shh, shh. No. I'm sorry. It's just me. 852 00:59:59.388 --> 01:00:00.388 What the fuck? 853 01:00:00.639 --> 01:00:02.141 You were making a lot of noise. 854 01:00:02.433 --> 01:00:04.602 I'm sorry. I'm fine. 855 01:00:04.893 --> 01:00:07.229 What were you dreaming about? 856 01:00:07.521 --> 01:00:09.231 I don't remember, okay? It was scary. 857 01:00:09.523 --> 01:00:10.774 No, it wasn't. Yeah, it was. 858 01:00:11.066 --> 01:00:12.986 How would you know? You weren't dreaming with me. 859 01:00:13.152 --> 01:00:15.213 I was listening to you, and those weren't scared noises. 860 01:00:15.237 --> 01:00:17.239 It was. This is ridiculous. Go back to bed. 861 01:00:19.742 --> 01:00:21.035 I heard you. 862 01:00:21.327 --> 01:00:22.703 I don't give two... 863 01:00:35.507 --> 01:00:38.093 Let me do this. 864 01:01:39.822 --> 01:01:42.658 No. I-It's okay. I'm good. 865 01:01:42.950 --> 01:01:46.537 What? 866 01:01:46.829 --> 01:01:48.914 Get off. 867 01:01:49.206 --> 01:01:52.042 Are you serious? 868 01:01:52.334 --> 01:01:55.170 I should go back to my own bed now. 869 01:01:58.132 --> 01:01:59.591 Right now? 870 01:01:59.883 --> 01:02:01.927 They could do a pop-in at any minute. 871 01:02:18.277 --> 01:02:20.821 You can't tell anyone, Cam. 872 01:02:21.113 --> 01:02:23.615 I won't. 873 01:02:23.907 --> 01:02:28.036 I really do want to get past this. 874 01:02:28.328 --> 01:02:29.621 Yeah. I believe you. 875 01:02:29.913 --> 01:02:31.790 I don't care if you believe me or not. 876 01:02:35.794 --> 01:02:38.046 I knew this would happen. 877 01:02:38.338 --> 01:02:40.632 I didn't. 878 01:02:43.302 --> 01:02:46.054 Because you don't think of me that way. 879 01:02:59.985 --> 01:03:02.946 Is part of the reason why you watch those Tandy Campbell videos 880 01:03:03.238 --> 01:03:05.783 'cause she's kind of hot, huh? 881 01:03:06.074 --> 01:03:08.577 We shouldn't encourage each other's homosexual attractions. 882 01:03:08.869 --> 01:03:10.454 Are you fucking serious right now? 883 01:03:10.746 --> 01:03:12.474 I don't want to talk anymore. I just want to go to sleep. 884 01:03:12.498 --> 01:03:17.586 Okay. Well, I mean, you're the one that woke me up. 885 01:03:26.303 --> 01:03:28.388 Tandy Campbell's not even my type. 886 01:04:15.811 --> 01:04:19.523 God, please help so that the pitch and lyrics 887 01:04:19.815 --> 01:04:21.316 become second nature 888 01:04:21.608 --> 01:04:27.030 and I can sing in worship from my heart. 889 01:04:35.122 --> 01:04:37.624 ♪ So much to believe in ♪ 890 01:04:37.916 --> 01:04:41.503 ♪ We were lost in time ♪ 891 01:04:41.795 --> 01:04:43.589 ♪ Always thought of keeping ♪ 892 01:04:43.881 --> 01:04:48.385 ♪ Your heart next to mine ♪ 893 01:04:48.677 --> 01:04:55.350 ♪ But now that seems so far away ♪ 894 01:04:55.642 --> 01:05:01.398 ♪ Don't know how love can leave without a trace ♪ 895 01:05:01.690 --> 01:05:04.276 ♪ Where do silent hearts go? ♪ 896 01:05:04.568 --> 01:05:09.072 ♪ Where does my heart beat now? ♪ 897 01:05:09.364 --> 01:05:13.368 ♪ Where is the sound ♪ 898 01:05:13.660 --> 01:05:17.414 ♪ That only echoes through through the night? ♪ 899 01:05:17.706 --> 01:05:20.083 ♪ Where do all the lonely hearts go? ♪ 900 01:05:23.962 --> 01:05:26.673 ♪ Where do all the lonely hearts go? ♪ 901 01:05:29.051 --> 01:05:30.761 Change will come through 902 01:05:31.053 --> 01:05:36.558 God, but within me, I must be the change. 903 01:05:45.400 --> 01:05:47.402 Mark, why don't you start us off? 904 01:05:51.615 --> 01:05:54.785 I know you've had an especially hard week. 905 01:05:55.077 --> 01:05:56.912 No. I... 906 01:05:57.204 --> 01:05:58.956 Every week is especially hard. 907 01:05:59.247 --> 01:06:00.457 Is there something... 908 01:06:00.749 --> 01:06:03.585 Look, if you want me to talk about my father, 909 01:06:03.877 --> 01:06:07.464 then I'd prefer if you just ask. 910 01:06:07.756 --> 01:06:10.092 Sounds like you want to talk about your father's decision. 911 01:06:10.384 --> 01:06:13.220 I don't see what there is to talk about. 912 01:06:13.512 --> 01:06:15.889 I mean, you've read his letter. 913 01:06:22.312 --> 01:06:23.480 "I am denying your request 914 01:06:23.772 --> 01:06:26.608 to return home at the end of the semester. 915 01:06:26.900 --> 01:06:29.444 You are still very effeminate... 916 01:06:29.736 --> 01:06:33.448 and this is a weakness I cannot have in my home." 917 01:06:35.909 --> 01:06:37.577 How did that make you feel? 918 01:06:40.038 --> 01:06:43.125 I'd like to read a passage. 919 01:06:43.417 --> 01:06:45.043 It's one of my father's favorites. 920 01:06:45.335 --> 01:06:47.713 Please do. 921 01:06:59.725 --> 01:07:02.310 "There was given to me a thorn in the flesh..." 922 01:07:05.480 --> 01:07:09.735 "...the messenger of Satan to buffet me, 923 01:07:10.027 --> 01:07:12.154 lest I should be exalted above measure." 924 01:07:16.700 --> 01:07:19.369 "And for this thing, 925 01:07:19.661 --> 01:07:21.413 I besought the Lord thrice..." 926 01:07:23.874 --> 01:07:26.334 "...that it might depart from me." 927 01:07:30.047 --> 01:07:31.757 "And unto me he said..." 928 01:07:34.551 --> 01:07:37.345 "...'My grace is sufficient for thee...'" 929 01:07:42.309 --> 01:07:46.938 "'...for my strength is made perfect in weakness.'" 930 01:07:53.361 --> 01:07:56.865 "Most gladly, therefore, will I rather... 931 01:07:57.157 --> 01:07:59.993 will I rather glory in infirmities, 932 01:08:00.285 --> 01:08:04.206 that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 933 01:08:04.498 --> 01:08:07.375 Therefore, I-I take... I take pleasure in... in... 934 01:08:07.667 --> 01:08:08.752 in infirmities, in... 935 01:08:09.044 --> 01:08:10.044 in reproaches, 936 01:08:10.295 --> 01:08:12.172 in necessities, in persecutions, 937 01:08:12.464 --> 01:08:14.174 in distresses, for Christ's sake, 938 01:08:14.466 --> 01:08:17.010 for when I am weak, then am I strong! 939 01:08:17.302 --> 01:08:18.970 For when I am weak..." 940 01:08:22.516 --> 01:08:24.142 "...then am I strong." 941 01:08:29.606 --> 01:08:32.567 "When I am weak... 942 01:08:32.859 --> 01:08:34.152 then am I strong." 943 01:09:01.096 --> 01:09:03.140 There is no need for theatrics. 944 01:09:03.431 --> 01:09:05.311 No, I've got this weakness, but this weakness... 945 01:09:05.392 --> 01:09:06.744 If weakness equals strength... Please sit down. 946 01:09:06.768 --> 01:09:08.287 ...then this weakness makes me strong, right? 947 01:09:08.311 --> 01:09:09.664 Discuss the passage you have selected. 948 01:09:09.688 --> 01:09:11.249 Give me the strength of 10 Marks, of 20 Marks! 949 01:09:11.273 --> 01:09:13.513 When I am weak, I am strong! When I am weak, I am strong! 950 01:09:13.733 --> 01:09:16.236 Mark, stop it! When I am weak, I am strong! 951 01:09:16.528 --> 01:09:17.648 When I am weak, I am strong! 952 01:09:17.904 --> 01:09:19.215 Mark! When I am weak, I am strong! 953 01:09:19.239 --> 01:09:20.866 Stop it right now! Strong, strong! 954 01:09:35.255 --> 01:09:36.255 I am strong! 955 01:09:36.423 --> 01:09:37.424 I am strong! 956 01:09:37.716 --> 01:09:40.260 I am strong! I am weak! Stop it! 957 01:09:40.552 --> 01:09:43.430 I will remove my foot 958 01:09:43.722 --> 01:09:46.433 when you are ready to get control of yourself. 959 01:10:41.488 --> 01:10:42.781 I know that some of you are aware 960 01:10:43.073 --> 01:10:48.078 that Mark had a little bit of an accident last night. 961 01:10:48.370 --> 01:10:49.829 Adam found him in the bathroom, 962 01:10:50.121 --> 01:10:51.998 and we rushed him to the hospital. 963 01:10:54.542 --> 01:10:55.710 His dad's already flown out. 964 01:10:56.002 --> 01:10:59.422 He is stable, and he's going to be okay. 965 01:10:59.714 --> 01:11:01.383 Fuck this. 966 01:11:01.675 --> 01:11:03.051 You guys are talking in circles. 967 01:11:03.343 --> 01:11:05.220 If he didn't kill himself, then what did he do? 968 01:11:05.512 --> 01:11:06.846 Dane, yelling and swearing 969 01:11:07.138 --> 01:11:09.033 won't help you feel better about what happened to Mark. 970 01:11:09.057 --> 01:11:11.297 See, that's where you're wrong, 'cause it does, actually. 971 01:11:11.351 --> 01:11:13.061 It makes me feel a fuck of a lot better. 972 01:11:20.110 --> 01:11:22.153 What the fuck is wrong with you, Helen? 973 01:11:22.445 --> 01:11:23.571 I'm sorry. 974 01:11:23.863 --> 01:11:26.700 I can't stop. 975 01:11:26.992 --> 01:11:28.272 Okay. Everybody go to your rooms. 976 01:11:28.535 --> 01:11:31.204 We're going to have individual one-on-ones. 977 01:11:33.999 --> 01:11:36.001 Go to your rooms until we call you! 978 01:11:38.086 --> 01:11:39.921 Helen and Dane, stay. 979 01:11:44.551 --> 01:11:46.928 Is he going to be all right? 980 01:11:47.220 --> 01:11:50.348 I think so. 981 01:11:50.640 --> 01:11:54.394 It is a serious injury. 982 01:11:54.686 --> 01:11:57.105 This is completely pointless 983 01:11:57.397 --> 01:11:59.065 if you don't tell me what's happened. 984 01:12:02.235 --> 01:12:07.032 I can tell you what happened, if that's what you want. 985 01:12:07.324 --> 01:12:08.825 But it's... It's, uh... 986 01:12:09.117 --> 01:12:10.452 I can handle ugly. 987 01:12:17.334 --> 01:12:23.006 Last night, Mark used a razor to cut his genitals several times. 988 01:12:23.298 --> 01:12:25.383 Then he poured bleach over the wounds. 989 01:12:33.224 --> 01:12:35.685 Adam found him. 990 01:12:42.359 --> 01:12:44.819 If you were worried about him, why did you leave him alone? 991 01:12:54.496 --> 01:12:56.498 I don't have a very good answer for you. 992 01:13:02.212 --> 01:13:04.130 Is Adam okay? 993 01:13:04.422 --> 01:13:09.094 I think so, all things considered. 994 01:13:09.386 --> 01:13:12.389 It is going to take him some time to process. 995 01:13:17.519 --> 01:13:18.895 How the fuck do you process 996 01:13:19.187 --> 01:13:21.564 watching your roommate try and cut his dick off? 997 01:13:24.734 --> 01:13:27.070 What's he going to do, put it on his iceberg? 998 01:13:34.494 --> 01:13:36.621 You people have no idea what you're doing, do you? 999 01:13:41.376 --> 01:13:43.545 You're just making it up as you go along. 1000 01:13:59.936 --> 01:14:01.536 I don't know how to answer you right now. 1001 01:14:01.729 --> 01:14:04.524 I... 1002 01:14:04.816 --> 01:14:07.193 I'm so sorry. 1003 01:14:10.238 --> 01:14:12.991 I'm so sorry. 1004 01:15:14.385 --> 01:15:18.348 Um, mostly independent study. 1005 01:15:18.640 --> 01:15:21.518 Do you have access to the outdoors on a regular basis? 1006 01:15:21.809 --> 01:15:22.936 Yeah. 1007 01:15:23.228 --> 01:15:25.271 Do you feel safe in your dorm rooms at night? 1008 01:15:25.563 --> 01:15:27.649 Yeah. 1009 01:15:27.941 --> 01:15:31.277 Do you feel threatened by staff members or fellow students? 1010 01:15:31.569 --> 01:15:33.613 No. 1011 01:15:33.905 --> 01:15:35.573 Do you trust those in charge here? 1012 01:15:39.619 --> 01:15:41.913 Not really. 1013 01:15:42.205 --> 01:15:45.416 You don't trust the staff here? 1014 01:15:45.708 --> 01:15:50.463 Well, what do you... I mean, trust them how? 1015 01:15:50.755 --> 01:15:52.840 Do you think they have your best interests in mind? 1016 01:15:55.969 --> 01:15:59.138 No one's, you know, beating us. 1017 01:16:01.474 --> 01:16:03.518 But you asked me if I trust them. 1018 01:16:05.603 --> 01:16:07.021 And, sure, yeah. 1019 01:16:07.313 --> 01:16:08.898 I trust them to drive the van safely, 1020 01:16:09.190 --> 01:16:11.192 and I trust them to buy food, but... 1021 01:16:16.573 --> 01:16:20.159 Look, I know you're here because of what happened to Mark. 1022 01:16:20.451 --> 01:16:22.829 Something didn't just happen to him. 1023 01:16:23.121 --> 01:16:25.957 He injured himself. 1024 01:16:26.249 --> 01:16:28.585 While under the care of this facility. 1025 01:16:28.876 --> 01:16:31.212 Correct, and that's why I'm here, 1026 01:16:31.504 --> 01:16:33.381 to investigate the care that is given 1027 01:16:33.673 --> 01:16:35.842 by those who run this facility, 1028 01:16:36.134 --> 01:16:38.803 not to investigate the mission of this facility, 1029 01:16:39.095 --> 01:16:42.807 unless that includes abuse or neglect. 1030 01:16:43.099 --> 01:16:45.935 Yeah, but what about emotional abuse? 1031 01:16:46.227 --> 01:16:47.871 Are you saying you're being emotionally abused 1032 01:16:47.895 --> 01:16:51.608 by the staff here? 1033 01:16:51.899 --> 01:16:54.611 How is programming people to hate themselves 1034 01:16:54.902 --> 01:16:56.779 not emotional abuse? 1035 01:16:59.782 --> 01:17:01.326 I've made note of what you said, 1036 01:17:01.618 --> 01:17:03.536 and it will be in the official file. 1037 01:17:09.667 --> 01:17:12.128 Thank you. 1038 01:17:29.354 --> 01:17:31.314 I didn't even know Mark shaved. 1039 01:17:33.232 --> 01:17:35.276 He doesn't. 1040 01:17:35.568 --> 01:17:38.821 It was my razor. 1041 01:17:45.578 --> 01:17:47.914 I thought he was dead. 1042 01:18:08.643 --> 01:18:11.229 Fuck this place. 1043 01:18:18.027 --> 01:18:19.696 I'll steal the keys to the van. 1044 01:18:19.987 --> 01:18:22.281 We'll be in Canada by morning. 1045 01:18:44.887 --> 01:18:47.056 I'm going to turn the light off. 1046 01:18:47.348 --> 01:18:49.308 Okay. 1047 01:19:43.863 --> 01:19:45.656 Early bird gets the worm, huh? 1048 01:19:45.948 --> 01:19:47.825 You know it. 1049 01:19:51.454 --> 01:19:54.290 What are y'all doing up so early? 1050 01:19:54.582 --> 01:19:56.959 Um, we went on a hike. 1051 01:19:57.251 --> 01:20:00.421 Sounds fun. 1052 01:20:11.182 --> 01:20:14.143 So, how's it going? Good. Real good. 1053 01:20:16.395 --> 01:20:19.899 I found out we'll be getting a new disciple... 1054 01:20:20.191 --> 01:20:22.819 young man from Indiana. 1055 01:20:23.110 --> 01:20:25.350 Looks like you'll be getting a new roommate on Wednesday. 1056 01:20:25.446 --> 01:20:27.824 Oh, cool. Can't wait. 1057 01:20:43.714 --> 01:20:47.468 So, you seen any new movies lately? 1058 01:20:47.760 --> 01:20:49.512 I finally watched "Young Frankenstein" 1059 01:20:49.804 --> 01:20:52.265 on your recommendation. 1060 01:20:52.557 --> 01:20:55.685 I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. 1061 01:20:55.977 --> 01:20:57.353 I figured you'd like that one. 1062 01:20:57.645 --> 01:21:00.857 Mm. I love that part with the elbow kiss, you know? 1063 01:21:01.148 --> 01:21:02.567 Right. "Not on the lips!" 1064 01:21:05.194 --> 01:21:08.072 My dad and I used to do that. 1065 01:21:16.789 --> 01:21:20.376 We should go, you know, so we can make our day. 1066 01:21:20.668 --> 01:21:23.462 You guys are serious hikers. I'm impressed. 1067 01:21:23.754 --> 01:21:27.550 Maybe next time I'll come. Yeah, definitely. 1068 01:21:34.098 --> 01:21:35.099 Have fun. 1069 01:21:35.391 --> 01:21:38.269 You, too. 1070 01:21:38.561 --> 01:21:41.355 Bye, Rick. Bye, Rick. 1071 01:25:09.230 --> 01:25:11.190 ♪ Sit around ♪ 1072 01:25:11.482 --> 01:25:16.487 ♪ Sit around ♪ 1073 01:25:16.779 --> 01:25:18.864 Say something to him. 1074 01:25:19.156 --> 01:25:24.120 What kind of a slut do you think I am? 1075 01:25:24.411 --> 01:25:25.491 My friend thinks you're hot! 1076 01:25:25.579 --> 01:25:26.872 Hey, stop it! 1077 01:25:27.164 --> 01:25:28.749 Say something sexy. Say something sexy. 1078 01:25:29.041 --> 01:25:31.919 Uh... pull my finger. 1079 01:25:35.464 --> 01:25:40.136 Whoa! 1080 01:25:40.427 --> 01:25:42.388 Shit. Dude! 1081 01:25:43.931 --> 01:25:45.391 "Pull my finger." "Pull my finger." 1082 01:25:45.683 --> 01:25:46.683 Yes. 1083 01:25:46.934 --> 01:25:47.934 Oh, man. 1084 01:25:49.562 --> 01:25:50.896 That is stupid. 1085 01:25:51.188 --> 01:25:52.898 Hey, it worked. 1086 01:29:21.565 --> 01:29:23.484 ♪ Once upon a time ♪ 1087 01:29:23.776 --> 01:29:25.444 ♪ I was all alone ♪ 1088 01:29:25.736 --> 01:29:30.282 ♪ I was scared and I was idle ♪ 1089 01:29:33.369 --> 01:29:37.247 ♪ I couldn't ask for help when I needed You ♪ 1090 01:29:37.539 --> 01:29:42.002 ♪ 'Cause I was too full of pride ♪ 1091 01:29:44.922 --> 01:29:49.051 ♪ But I was walking on my own ♪ 1092 01:29:49.343 --> 01:29:51.345 ♪ Ohhhh ♪ 1093 01:29:53.138 --> 01:29:56.725 ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪ 1094 01:29:57.017 --> 01:29:59.895 ♪ Your footsteps right behind mine ♪ 1095 01:30:00.187 --> 01:30:07.986 ♪ And I am never scared 'cause I... ♪ 1096 01:30:11.156 --> 01:30:14.284 ♪ I'm never going to be perfect ♪ 1097 01:30:14.576 --> 01:30:18.747 ♪ But with your love I will keep striving ♪ 1098 01:30:22.793 --> 01:30:26.505 ♪ And I will ask for help when it all goes wrong ♪ 1099 01:30:26.797 --> 01:30:31.760 ♪ And I will spread Your love like fire ♪ 1100 01:30:34.805 --> 01:30:37.224 ♪ Ahhhh ♪ ♪ And if anyone asks ♪ 1101 01:30:37.516 --> 01:30:41.687 ♪ Ahhhh ♪ ♪ "Are you alone tonight?" ♪ 1102 01:30:41.979 --> 01:30:46.108 ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪ 1103 01:30:46.400 --> 01:30:49.987 ♪ Your footsteps right behind mine ♪ 1104 01:30:50.279 --> 01:30:54.116 ♪ I'm never scared because ♪ 1105 01:30:54.408 --> 01:30:57.786 ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪ 1106 01:30:58.078 --> 01:31:02.166 ♪ Your footsteps right behind mine ♪ 1107 01:31:02.458 --> 01:31:05.711 ♪ I am never scared 'cause ♪ 1108 01:31:06.003 --> 01:31:09.882 ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪ 1109 01:31:10.174 --> 01:31:13.969 ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪ 1110 01:31:14.261 --> 01:31:17.848 ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪ 1111 01:31:18.140 --> 01:31:21.477 ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪ 1112 01:31:21.768 --> 01:31:25.355 ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪ 1113 01:31:25.647 --> 01:31:29.151 ♪ You've been there the whole time ♪