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WEBVTT 1 00:00:46.504 --> 00:00:50.507 Forget me, you're on your way 2 00:00:50.675 --> 00:00:55.012 We don't have to stay in touch 3 00:00:55.180 --> 00:00:59.183 We may remember someday 4 00:00:59.350 --> 00:01:05.355 Till then it doesn't matter that much 5 00:01:07.525 --> 00:01:11.653 Someday I'll have to wonder 6 00:01:11.821 --> 00:01:15.741 And dreams may cloud the truth 7 00:01:15.909 --> 00:01:19.953 But if you promise me 8 00:01:20.121 --> 00:01:24.166 I promise I'll never forget you 9 00:01:24.334 --> 00:01:28.337 Forget the tears we cried 10 00:01:28.505 --> 00:01:32.633 Forget the good times too 11 00:01:32.801 --> 00:01:36.595 Forget the pain inside 12 00:01:36.763 --> 00:01:38.639 You will never see her again. 13 00:01:41.059 --> 00:01:45.729 Dude, after graduation, she'll be gone until like the tenth reunion... 14 00:01:45.897 --> 00:01:47.523 ...if you both even live that long. 15 00:01:47.690 --> 00:01:52.611 And she'll be so very pregnant by then, baking someone else's DNA. 16 00:01:52.779 --> 00:01:55.989 And she'll have this, like, big, pregnant cow grin on her face. 17 00:01:56.157 --> 00:01:57.825 She won't even remember who you are. 18 00:01:57.992 --> 00:02:00.077 Well, I sat behind her in almost every class. 19 00:02:00.245 --> 00:02:02.329 Behind her. Shh. 20 00:02:03.414 --> 00:02:05.290 Behind her. She never saw you, dude. 21 00:02:05.458 --> 00:02:10.796 You don't give this big speech at graduation, you don't exist. 22 00:02:10.964 --> 00:02:15.342 No, Denis, if you... If you don't do this... If you don't do this... 23 00:02:15.510 --> 00:02:17.010 "You'll regret it. 24 00:02:17.178 --> 00:02:19.054 Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon... 25 00:02:19.222 --> 00:02:21.348 ...and for the rest of your life." 26 00:02:21.516 --> 00:02:23.183 What are you talking about? 27 00:02:23.351 --> 00:02:25.352 Come on, it's Casablanca, 1942... 28 00:02:25.520 --> 00:02:26.770 ...Michael Curtiz, director. 29 00:02:26.938 --> 00:02:28.438 Bogart, dude! Shh. 30 00:02:28.606 --> 00:02:30.065 Seriously? 31 00:02:30.608 --> 00:02:31.942 Bogart. 32 00:02:46.207 --> 00:02:47.374 Thank you, Angelica. 33 00:02:47.542 --> 00:02:50.043 It's Angelica. Whatever. 34 00:02:50.837 --> 00:02:51.879 Angelica. 35 00:02:52.046 --> 00:02:57.134 Thank you for that rousing rendition of "Forget Me." 36 00:02:57.719 --> 00:03:02.472 Next, and finally, your valedictorian... 37 00:03:02.640 --> 00:03:03.932 ...Denis Cooverman. 38 00:03:21.034 --> 00:03:24.661 Today we look forward. 39 00:03:25.330 --> 00:03:29.208 Look forward to getting out of here. 40 00:03:31.669 --> 00:03:33.086 Heh, heh, heh. 41 00:03:34.964 --> 00:03:39.968 But today, I would also like to look back... 42 00:03:40.136 --> 00:03:45.390 ...look back on our 4 years here at Buffalo Glenn High School... 43 00:03:45.558 --> 00:03:49.311 ...looking back not with anger... 44 00:03:49.479 --> 00:03:53.232 ...but with no regrets. 45 00:03:54.901 --> 00:03:59.279 No regrets for what we wanted to do... 46 00:03:59.447 --> 00:04:01.365 ...but did not... 47 00:04:01.532 --> 00:04:05.369 ...what we wanted to say... 48 00:04:05.536 --> 00:04:08.872 ...but could not. 49 00:04:12.710 --> 00:04:16.296 And so I say here today... 50 00:04:16.464 --> 00:04:19.508 ...the one thing I wish I had said... 51 00:04:19.676 --> 00:04:25.889 ...the one thing I know I will regret if I never say: 52 00:04:28.393 --> 00:04:30.394 I love you, Beth Cooper. 53 00:04:42.532 --> 00:04:43.907 He likes you. 54 00:04:44.075 --> 00:04:47.411 I have loved you, Beth Cooper... 55 00:04:47.578 --> 00:04:53.583 ...since I first sat behind you in Ms. Rosa's math class in the 7th grade. 56 00:04:53.876 --> 00:04:54.918 Heh. 57 00:04:55.086 --> 00:04:59.923 I loved you when I sat behind you in Senor Weidner's Spanish... 58 00:05:00.091 --> 00:05:04.094 ...and Ms. Calumet-Hobey's Literature of the Oppressed. 59 00:05:04.262 --> 00:05:06.179 I loved you from behind... 60 00:05:07.724 --> 00:05:14.271 ...in Biology, History, and, yes, Practical Science. 61 00:05:14.439 --> 00:05:19.735 I loved you, but I never told you because we never spoke. 62 00:05:19.902 --> 00:05:21.111 Unbelievable. 63 00:05:21.279 --> 00:05:25.741 But now I say it, with no regrets. 64 00:05:26.284 --> 00:05:31.788 I love you, Beth Cooper. 65 00:05:32.457 --> 00:05:37.961 And so let us all say the things that we longed to say... 66 00:05:38.129 --> 00:05:40.839 ...but our tongues would not. 67 00:05:41.007 --> 00:05:43.759 Let us be unafraid to admit: 68 00:05:43.926 --> 00:05:48.972 "I have an eating disorder, and I need help." 69 00:05:49.140 --> 00:05:51.683 Let us confess: 70 00:05:51.851 --> 00:05:54.519 "I'm a stuck-up bitch... 71 00:05:54.687 --> 00:06:00.233 ...because deep down, I believe I am worthless." 72 00:06:00.401 --> 00:06:02.402 Let us declare: 73 00:06:02.570 --> 00:06:06.656 "I'm a big, dumb moron. 74 00:06:06.824 --> 00:06:12.329 I'm a big old asshole who beats up on other kids... 75 00:06:12.497 --> 00:06:18.085 ...because I was unloved as a baby... 76 00:06:18.252 --> 00:06:21.505 ...or was sexually abused or something. 77 00:06:21.672 --> 00:06:24.841 I am sorry for the cruel swirlies... 78 00:06:25.009 --> 00:06:26.426 ...the pink bellies... 79 00:06:26.594 --> 00:06:28.678 ...the purple nurples." 80 00:06:29.305 --> 00:06:35.852 And let us, no, let all of us vow: 81 00:06:36.270 --> 00:06:41.358 "When I graduate, I'm not gonna keep hanging around my old high school... 82 00:06:41.526 --> 00:06:43.693 ...like some kind of creepy loser... 83 00:06:43.861 --> 00:06:46.196 ...who can't get an adult girlfriend." 84 00:06:46.364 --> 00:06:49.616 You know who you are. You. 85 00:06:53.246 --> 00:06:58.417 And, yes, let us not regret... 86 00:06:58.584 --> 00:07:03.338 ...that we never told our own best friend: 87 00:07:06.551 --> 00:07:09.219 "I'm gay, dude. 88 00:07:09.387 --> 00:07:11.555 I'm totally gay." 89 00:07:11.722 --> 00:07:12.806 I'm not gay. 90 00:07:12.974 --> 00:07:14.808 Yes. 91 00:07:14.976 --> 00:07:16.977 Indeed. Let us all... 92 00:07:17.145 --> 00:07:18.728 Thank you, Denis. 93 00:07:18.896 --> 00:07:21.982 Food for thought. Thank you. 94 00:07:22.984 --> 00:07:24.067 Thank you. 95 00:07:26.863 --> 00:07:28.071 Wow. 96 00:07:41.252 --> 00:07:42.752 Perfect. 97 00:07:43.296 --> 00:07:44.421 Whoa. Oh. 98 00:07:44.589 --> 00:07:46.423 It's okay. Sorry. 99 00:07:47.592 --> 00:07:49.634 Sorry. All right. 100 00:08:02.106 --> 00:08:04.524 Mr. Cooverman, hi. Hey! Hello. 101 00:08:04.692 --> 00:08:06.818 I've never known you to do anything so reckless... 102 00:08:06.986 --> 00:08:08.028 ...really at all reckless. 103 00:08:08.196 --> 00:08:09.613 Well, thank you. 104 00:08:09.780 --> 00:08:11.781 Uh, no. That is not what I would expect... 105 00:08:11.949 --> 00:08:14.284 ...from somebody who is going to Stanford. 106 00:08:14.452 --> 00:08:15.619 You know one call from me... 107 00:08:15.786 --> 00:08:18.246 ...and you could be going to Harper Community College. 108 00:08:18.414 --> 00:08:20.832 That would be unimaginable. You can't... 109 00:08:21.000 --> 00:08:23.710 Look, I don't know why I did th... Who was that? 110 00:08:23.878 --> 00:08:26.505 That wasn't me. I was under an influence. 111 00:08:26.672 --> 00:08:28.256 Are you drunk? What? 112 00:08:29.008 --> 00:08:32.969 I just meant my thinking had been compromised. 113 00:08:34.597 --> 00:08:37.474 Look, Rich told me if... Rich Munsch? 114 00:08:37.642 --> 00:08:38.725 Yeah. 115 00:08:38.893 --> 00:08:43.480 I wouldn't take heterosexual advice from Rich Munsch. 116 00:08:44.232 --> 00:08:45.649 But he was right. 117 00:08:45.816 --> 00:08:48.944 I mean, I had to do something. 118 00:08:49.529 --> 00:08:54.574 I'm not there in her brain. She will have no memory of me. 119 00:08:54.742 --> 00:08:55.784 So? 120 00:08:55.952 --> 00:09:00.997 So? Come on, Dr. Gleason, haven't you ever been in love? 121 00:09:25.606 --> 00:09:29.401 Your nipples are so weird. 122 00:09:36.492 --> 00:09:40.829 Denis, there's another Beth Cooper out there. 123 00:09:41.497 --> 00:09:42.998 One just for you. 124 00:10:00.391 --> 00:10:02.142 You embarrassed me. 125 00:10:03.311 --> 00:10:04.644 Uh... 126 00:10:05.313 --> 00:10:08.148 But it was so sweet, I'll have to let you live. 127 00:10:09.525 --> 00:10:14.029 Well, that's good. Because I like to live. 128 00:10:14.196 --> 00:10:17.198 Is it like 800 degrees in there, like boiling? 129 00:10:17.366 --> 00:10:23.455 Actually, the boiling point of water is 212 degrees Fahrenheit... 130 00:10:24.457 --> 00:10:26.750 ...100 degrees Celsius. 131 00:10:26.917 --> 00:10:29.169 I am so hot. 132 00:10:29.337 --> 00:10:31.421 I can imagine... 133 00:10:31.589 --> 00:10:33.673 ...that you're hot. 134 00:10:33.841 --> 00:10:37.093 Hey. So I'm not gay, dude. 135 00:10:37.261 --> 00:10:39.929 Rich, hi. 136 00:10:41.849 --> 00:10:44.309 Hello, hi, hey. Hi. 137 00:10:44.477 --> 00:10:47.395 I didn't realize there was a line here. 138 00:10:47.563 --> 00:10:49.439 No, no, that's okay. I gotta go. 139 00:10:49.607 --> 00:10:52.692 Halt! I mean, wait. 140 00:10:52.860 --> 00:10:55.278 There's a little soiree at my house tonight. 141 00:10:55.446 --> 00:10:56.446 Course that's redundant... 142 00:10:56.614 --> 00:10:58.281 ...I don't know what I'm talking about. 143 00:10:58.449 --> 00:11:02.786 No, a party. More of a party than a French thing. Music, drinks, prizes. 144 00:11:02.953 --> 00:11:04.204 Party. 145 00:11:04.372 --> 00:11:07.457 Sounds fun. It is fun, will be, in the future. 146 00:11:07.625 --> 00:11:10.335 And goddamn it, you're invited, officially. 147 00:11:10.503 --> 00:11:12.003 Wow. 148 00:11:12.296 --> 00:11:13.296 Thanks. 149 00:11:13.464 --> 00:11:15.131 6337 Hackberry Drive... 150 00:11:15.299 --> 00:11:18.343 ...ZIP's 98401, if you're Mapquesting. 151 00:11:18.511 --> 00:11:19.928 Well, maybe we could stop by. 152 00:11:20.096 --> 00:11:21.221 Cool, or not, whatever. 153 00:11:21.389 --> 00:11:24.140 I mean, you come, you come. If you don't, you don't. 154 00:11:24.350 --> 00:11:28.478 You humiliated me and insulted her. 155 00:11:29.146 --> 00:11:30.980 Are you prepared to die? 156 00:11:31.357 --> 00:11:33.483 Sorry. 157 00:11:34.985 --> 00:11:37.404 You must be Beth Cooper's boyfriend. 158 00:11:38.823 --> 00:11:40.824 I have to go to the bathroom. 159 00:11:42.034 --> 00:11:43.368 Um... 160 00:11:48.499 --> 00:11:53.420 I'm gonna give you 10 seconds to convince me why I should let you live. 161 00:11:54.213 --> 00:11:57.507 I think you mean "persuade," not "convince." 162 00:11:57.675 --> 00:11:59.008 Is there a problem here? 163 00:12:08.352 --> 00:12:10.061 No, ma'am. 164 00:12:11.188 --> 00:12:13.356 My hand, it just slipped. 165 00:12:13.816 --> 00:12:18.027 You know I can't allow you to kill him on school property? 166 00:12:18.487 --> 00:12:19.612 Yes, ma'am. 167 00:12:21.198 --> 00:12:23.324 Baby. Not nice. 168 00:12:28.706 --> 00:12:30.373 You okay? Great, yeah. 169 00:12:30.541 --> 00:12:34.335 Okay. You know, on the bright side, Beth Cooper talked to you. 170 00:12:34.837 --> 00:12:37.046 Whoo! Let's go! 171 00:12:37.214 --> 00:12:41.050 School's out! We did it! We did it! Party! 172 00:12:41.218 --> 00:12:43.636 Ooh. That can't be good. 173 00:12:49.101 --> 00:12:50.143 Losers! 174 00:12:50.311 --> 00:12:52.270 All right, keep in touch. 175 00:12:52.438 --> 00:12:57.400 So, look, I'm not gay, you know, so... Yeah. 176 00:12:57.568 --> 00:12:59.027 Okay, yeah. 177 00:12:59.195 --> 00:13:02.572 No, I mean, it's cool if you are, too, really. 178 00:13:02.740 --> 00:13:05.575 Really, I'm not. No soyhomo. 179 00:13:05.743 --> 00:13:07.285 All right. That's awesome. 180 00:13:07.453 --> 00:13:09.078 What makes you think I'm gay? 181 00:13:10.748 --> 00:13:13.082 I don't know... Everybody thinks you're gay, Rich. 182 00:13:13.250 --> 00:13:14.709 Well, they don't know me. You know me. 183 00:13:14.877 --> 00:13:17.003 What makes you think I'm gay? 184 00:13:33.103 --> 00:13:35.188 Okay, I got an idea. 185 00:13:35.356 --> 00:13:37.607 I'm Robin Hood. You're Friar Tuck. 186 00:13:37.775 --> 00:13:40.944 We get your dad's camcorder and we do a shot-for-shot re-creation... 187 00:13:41.111 --> 00:13:43.696 ...of their climactic sword fight... 188 00:13:44.657 --> 00:13:46.699 ...using our boners. Ha. 189 00:13:55.793 --> 00:13:58.795 Nothing in particular, I guess. 190 00:13:58.963 --> 00:14:00.839 Well, I mean, is it because of Drama Club? 191 00:14:01.006 --> 00:14:03.967 Because, you know, a lot of professional actors aren't gay. 192 00:14:04.134 --> 00:14:05.510 More than half. 193 00:14:05.678 --> 00:14:10.431 Rich, it's just that all through high school and even before... 194 00:14:10.599 --> 00:14:14.435 ...you never really had a girlfriend. 195 00:14:14.603 --> 00:14:16.771 Neither did you. I tried. 196 00:14:16.939 --> 00:14:18.606 Oh, ha, ha, ha. Patty Keck? 197 00:14:18.774 --> 00:14:21.025 Her, yes. Your secret shame. 198 00:14:21.193 --> 00:14:24.320 My point is... I had one. 199 00:14:24.488 --> 00:14:26.573 Just so you know, making out with a girl like that... 200 00:14:26.740 --> 00:14:28.491 I'm not sure that's not gay. 201 00:14:32.621 --> 00:14:35.540 What is this? Give me it. Let go of it. I wanna see. 202 00:14:36.166 --> 00:14:37.500 No. Wow. 203 00:14:37.835 --> 00:14:38.835 Whatever. 204 00:14:39.003 --> 00:14:41.170 That's awesome. IPod. It's silly. 205 00:14:41.338 --> 00:14:43.339 No, that's really nice. That's great. 206 00:14:43.507 --> 00:14:45.300 Yeah, my mom and dad gave it... 207 00:14:46.260 --> 00:14:48.136 Dude, you know what I got for graduation? 208 00:14:48.304 --> 00:14:50.388 No. A bill. 209 00:14:50.556 --> 00:14:54.767 Yeah, my dad says I owe him 233,850 bucks. 210 00:14:54.935 --> 00:14:56.603 A quarter of a million dollars? 211 00:14:56.770 --> 00:15:00.023 And then they expect you to buy your own shoes. 212 00:15:00.190 --> 00:15:03.860 Yeah. Well, no, that includes 50 grand for "wear and tear" on my mother. 213 00:15:05.112 --> 00:15:08.156 She is pretty worn and torn, you know. 214 00:15:08.324 --> 00:15:09.824 Yeah. 215 00:15:10.743 --> 00:15:15.705 Well, in any case, I'm sorry your dad's such a dick. 216 00:15:15.873 --> 00:15:19.709 And it was completely itemized, very detailed. 217 00:15:20.294 --> 00:15:22.503 Who knew he was paying attention? 218 00:15:35.601 --> 00:15:38.102 Day-oh. Hey. 219 00:15:38.270 --> 00:15:40.021 Check out the new kicks. Oh, cool. 220 00:15:40.189 --> 00:15:45.276 2 paychecks. Very Gene Kelly, circa 1945, don't you think? 221 00:15:45.444 --> 00:15:46.903 Yeah. They're nice. Dude. 222 00:15:47.071 --> 00:15:48.488 Don't be so nervous. She's not gonna come. 223 00:15:48.656 --> 00:15:51.658 I'm not nervous, I'm particular. There's a difference. 224 00:15:51.825 --> 00:15:53.159 You know what, they can smell fear. 225 00:15:53.327 --> 00:15:55.954 No, they can't. I can smell it. 226 00:15:57.623 --> 00:15:58.665 Ooh. Ooh. 227 00:15:58.832 --> 00:16:00.124 Fear. Mm. 228 00:16:00.292 --> 00:16:03.461 You know, puberty has done nothing but screw me. 229 00:16:03.629 --> 00:16:04.837 Dude, what are you doing? 230 00:16:05.005 --> 00:16:06.673 I'm airing out my shirt. 231 00:16:06.840 --> 00:16:07.882 What? Come on. 232 00:16:08.050 --> 00:16:09.300 I don't want a stinky shirt. 233 00:16:09.468 --> 00:16:11.678 Dude. Ha, ha, ha. 234 00:16:11.845 --> 00:16:13.930 Why are you laughing? This is how you do this. 235 00:16:15.557 --> 00:16:17.684 Hey. Mom, Dad. 236 00:16:17.851 --> 00:16:19.769 Well, it looks like this party's well underway. 237 00:16:19.937 --> 00:16:21.187 Hola, Mrs. C. 238 00:16:21.355 --> 00:16:22.814 Rich, don't call me Mrs. C, I mean it. 239 00:16:22.982 --> 00:16:25.608 Now get off the counter. Oh. 240 00:16:25.776 --> 00:16:27.610 Denis Petey Cooverman, look at you. 241 00:16:27.778 --> 00:16:29.070 You look so cute. 242 00:16:29.530 --> 00:16:31.447 Super cute. 243 00:16:31.615 --> 00:16:32.657 She doesn't mean that. 244 00:16:32.825 --> 00:16:34.075 You look good. You look cool. 245 00:16:34.243 --> 00:16:35.284 Yeah. 246 00:16:35.452 --> 00:16:39.122 You just might want to lower the waist of those pants a little bit. 247 00:16:39.289 --> 00:16:41.874 Oh, you're not wearing those awful underpants. 248 00:16:42.042 --> 00:16:43.292 Mom. God. 249 00:16:43.460 --> 00:16:44.919 I gotta go along with your mom... 250 00:16:45.087 --> 00:16:47.422 ...on the lucky underpants, buddy. What if you do get lucky? 251 00:16:47.589 --> 00:16:49.882 Once she gets to the underpants, they're a deal breaker. 252 00:16:50.050 --> 00:16:51.801 They are not nice underpants. 253 00:16:51.969 --> 00:16:54.637 He is not wearing those ratty things, and he's not getting lucky. 254 00:16:54.805 --> 00:16:57.140 Not on my watch. 255 00:16:58.642 --> 00:17:01.644 So, how many people are you expecting at this shin-dizzle? 256 00:17:01.812 --> 00:17:04.105 Oh, not too many. None. 257 00:17:04.273 --> 00:17:07.817 Well, it wouldn't be a celebration without champagne. 258 00:17:07.985 --> 00:17:11.070 Oh. Oh, ho, ho. That is negligent. 259 00:17:11.238 --> 00:17:13.031 My dad used to give me an occasional beer... 260 00:17:13.198 --> 00:17:15.324 ...but that was just to get me to take a nap. 261 00:17:16.160 --> 00:17:19.245 Well, one glass per guest. And no one who drinks, drives. 262 00:17:19.413 --> 00:17:22.290 And I know exactly how many bottles are in the wine rack: 23. 263 00:17:22.833 --> 00:17:24.333 Here's all of our numbers.... 264 00:17:24.501 --> 00:17:27.170 If anybody's dead or on fire, call 911 first. 265 00:17:28.797 --> 00:17:30.423 What's the matter? Bad advice? 266 00:17:30.591 --> 00:17:33.092 I have to get my purse. I'll meet you out front. 267 00:17:33.260 --> 00:17:35.094 Honey, have fun. Okay. 268 00:17:35.262 --> 00:17:36.345 Not too much fun. 269 00:17:36.513 --> 00:17:39.098 Not much danger of that, Mrs. C. 270 00:17:39.266 --> 00:17:41.100 Bye, Mom! Bye, honey. 271 00:17:41.727 --> 00:17:43.853 Denis, let me talk to you. 272 00:17:48.192 --> 00:17:52.403 Okay, look. This is your last summer before college. 273 00:17:52.571 --> 00:17:54.197 That accelerated medical program... 274 00:17:54.364 --> 00:17:56.240 ...isn't gonna leave time for parties... 275 00:17:56.408 --> 00:17:58.493 ...so I want you to enjoy this summer. 276 00:17:58.660 --> 00:18:00.203 Okay, yeah, sure, no, I'll try. 277 00:18:00.370 --> 00:18:01.454 Get out there! 278 00:18:01.622 --> 00:18:04.540 Do all those teen things you haven't had a chance to do. 279 00:18:04.708 --> 00:18:06.876 That's gonna be hard. He hasn't done any of them. 280 00:18:07.211 --> 00:18:11.297 You know, this whole teenager coming-of-age thing, I mean... 281 00:18:11.465 --> 00:18:13.841 ...it's a relatively new construct. 282 00:18:14.009 --> 00:18:16.385 They came up with it in the 50's, so... 283 00:18:16.553 --> 00:18:18.888 It's okay just to have fun sometimes. 284 00:18:19.056 --> 00:18:22.391 Sometimes you just have to say, "What the F." 285 00:18:22.559 --> 00:18:25.228 Curtis Armstrong, Risky Business, 1983, Paul Brickman. 286 00:18:25.395 --> 00:18:30.066 Except he didn't say "F," he said "Fuck." 287 00:18:32.444 --> 00:18:35.321 You know what I mean. Carpe diem. 288 00:18:35.489 --> 00:18:38.866 I didn't know you were such a movie buff, Mr. C. 289 00:18:39.034 --> 00:18:40.701 Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society. 290 00:18:40.869 --> 00:18:45.414 Yes, thank you. Thank you, Rich. We know. It's good. 291 00:18:45.582 --> 00:18:47.250 Come here, please. 292 00:18:51.964 --> 00:18:56.676 There are condoms in my bedside table. 293 00:18:59.263 --> 00:19:02.765 Do you, like, know exactly how many there are? 294 00:19:03.934 --> 00:19:07.937 They are not toys. 295 00:19:10.274 --> 00:19:12.441 Yeah. Sure. 296 00:19:17.156 --> 00:19:20.116 I think my dad wants us to have sex. 297 00:19:20.784 --> 00:19:22.493 With each other? No. 298 00:19:22.661 --> 00:19:23.744 Right. 299 00:19:23.912 --> 00:19:27.123 She should really be here by now. 300 00:19:27.749 --> 00:19:29.458 So your parents use condoms? 301 00:19:29.626 --> 00:19:31.878 Not a topic for discussion. Ever. 302 00:19:32.045 --> 00:19:33.462 Okay. No, it's okay. I won't. 303 00:19:33.630 --> 00:19:36.299 I just, yeah, I mean, what, do you think they're lubed? Or... 304 00:19:36.466 --> 00:19:37.925 Incoming! 305 00:19:40.387 --> 00:19:42.138 Go, go, go! 306 00:20:13.003 --> 00:20:14.962 It's the trinity. 307 00:20:21.929 --> 00:20:24.347 So where's our boy in uniform? 308 00:20:24.514 --> 00:20:25.640 He's on our shit list. 309 00:20:25.807 --> 00:20:28.517 One of his army buddies was getting all date-rapey with Treece. 310 00:20:28.685 --> 00:20:29.727 Oh. Oh. 311 00:20:29.895 --> 00:20:31.854 So, where's the party? 312 00:20:32.022 --> 00:20:35.358 This is it. Here, this location. 313 00:20:35.525 --> 00:20:36.859 Welcome. 314 00:20:37.027 --> 00:20:39.195 Come on in. 315 00:20:39.363 --> 00:20:43.783 Warning, roof may be blown off due to excessive partying. 316 00:20:44.618 --> 00:20:47.370 Well, go ahead, princess. 317 00:20:47.704 --> 00:20:49.830 Come on up. Yeah. 318 00:20:49.998 --> 00:20:51.290 Watch your step. 319 00:20:51.458 --> 00:20:55.127 Now entering the party pod, captain. 320 00:20:56.964 --> 00:20:58.297 Um... 321 00:20:59.049 --> 00:21:00.466 Are we the first ones here? 322 00:21:02.135 --> 00:21:03.761 Yeah, we are never first. 323 00:21:03.929 --> 00:21:05.805 I've never been in this house before. 324 00:21:06.598 --> 00:21:10.434 La fiesta esthis way, mi bonitas. 325 00:21:11.561 --> 00:21:16.440 Por favor, sweet and salty comidas for your comesting. 326 00:21:16.608 --> 00:21:20.861 Everything's organic. The pretzels are fat free. 327 00:21:21.154 --> 00:21:22.697 Are you calling me fat? 328 00:21:23.115 --> 00:21:24.240 What? 329 00:21:24.408 --> 00:21:25.908 No. Not... No. 330 00:21:28.036 --> 00:21:31.998 Hey, come on, you, fat? Why would he say that? He's not retarded. 331 00:21:32.165 --> 00:21:34.000 My brother's retarded. 332 00:21:42.384 --> 00:21:44.427 That's... That was... That's cold. 333 00:21:44.594 --> 00:21:46.387 You probably don't even have a brother. 334 00:21:46.555 --> 00:21:48.264 No, he, uh... He died. 335 00:21:50.600 --> 00:21:54.312 Yeah, that was really... You got me, that was... 336 00:22:03.864 --> 00:22:06.282 I'm so sorry. 337 00:22:09.494 --> 00:22:11.454 It was a long time ago, but thanks. 338 00:22:13.332 --> 00:22:15.124 Yeah. 339 00:22:21.298 --> 00:22:23.466 What do you want, Kevin? 340 00:22:23.633 --> 00:22:24.717 I need beer. 341 00:22:24.885 --> 00:22:27.136 Heh, heh. Yeah, you do. Uh... 342 00:22:28.013 --> 00:22:30.765 Donde esta la beer, Coovemaster? 343 00:22:30.932 --> 00:22:32.308 My dad doesn't drink beer. 344 00:22:34.644 --> 00:22:36.520 We have champagne. 345 00:22:36.688 --> 00:22:39.648 Ooh. Okay. 346 00:22:40.317 --> 00:22:43.736 Champagne. Bubbly goodness. Uh... 347 00:22:44.321 --> 00:22:49.116 This is Cristal. It's the drink of the pimps. 348 00:22:49.284 --> 00:22:51.535 "The pimps?" Mm-hm. 349 00:22:51.703 --> 00:22:53.954 What do you know about pimps? 350 00:22:55.540 --> 00:22:57.958 Nothing, really. 351 00:22:58.835 --> 00:23:02.713 Mm. Cristal seems to have changed its logo and spelling. 352 00:23:02.881 --> 00:23:06.342 Champagne makes me do... things. 353 00:23:07.260 --> 00:23:09.595 Girl, water makes you do things. 354 00:23:09.763 --> 00:23:12.181 Not regular water. 355 00:23:12.349 --> 00:23:16.769 Ha, ha. Oh, yeah, okay. I, uh... 356 00:23:29.950 --> 00:23:30.991 Classic. 357 00:23:31.785 --> 00:23:33.661 I told you. 358 00:23:34.037 --> 00:23:35.538 No, I don't. 359 00:23:35.705 --> 00:23:39.875 No! No, you can't come here. 360 00:23:41.211 --> 00:23:43.045 Yeah, well... 361 00:23:44.214 --> 00:23:45.881 Maybe. 362 00:23:46.049 --> 00:23:47.800 I'm busy right now, Kevin. 363 00:23:47.968 --> 00:23:49.343 I want some of that. 364 00:23:49.511 --> 00:23:52.847 No, I will not tell you where I am or who I'm with... 365 00:23:53.014 --> 00:23:58.018 ...but I will tell you this, Kevin, I'm drinking champagne. 366 00:23:58.186 --> 00:24:00.229 Yep. And it is coming right... 367 00:24:00.397 --> 00:24:04.442 Aah! Oh. God. Oh. 368 00:24:04.609 --> 00:24:06.235 It's okay. Oh. 369 00:24:08.029 --> 00:24:10.072 Oh, nothing. Yeah. 370 00:24:10.740 --> 00:24:11.907 Pfft. Heh. 371 00:24:15.912 --> 00:24:18.247 I'll get this off here. 372 00:24:19.416 --> 00:24:20.916 Would you hurry up? 373 00:24:21.084 --> 00:24:23.127 Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just... 374 00:24:23.295 --> 00:24:26.255 The internal pressure is 90 pounds per square inch... 375 00:24:26.423 --> 00:24:28.048 ...so I don't really know what the problem... 376 00:24:28.216 --> 00:24:32.595 Don't you dare GPS me. Oh, please. 377 00:24:38.435 --> 00:24:41.061 Are you okay? Yeah, I'm great. 378 00:24:41.229 --> 00:24:42.688 I need ice! 379 00:24:42.856 --> 00:24:45.608 Okay, let's see. 380 00:24:46.776 --> 00:24:48.569 Frozen peas. 381 00:24:48.737 --> 00:24:51.363 Really? Okay. 382 00:24:51.698 --> 00:24:55.034 And frozen peas. 383 00:24:55.202 --> 00:24:57.453 Frozen peas. Frozen peas. 384 00:24:57.621 --> 00:24:58.954 Anything cold. 385 00:24:59.623 --> 00:25:02.791 Okay, here. Something cold. 386 00:25:03.835 --> 00:25:04.960 Here, come here. 387 00:25:05.629 --> 00:25:07.463 Okay, here we go. 388 00:25:07.631 --> 00:25:11.550 I'm sorry I'm so pathetic. 389 00:25:11.718 --> 00:25:12.927 Let me tell you something: 390 00:25:13.094 --> 00:25:15.471 All boys are pathetic. 391 00:25:15.639 --> 00:25:18.307 Well, then I apologize on behalf of all boys. 392 00:25:18.475 --> 00:25:21.936 And sorry for all the wars and stuff. 393 00:25:22.812 --> 00:25:24.522 You're funny. 394 00:25:26.900 --> 00:25:28.234 How does that feel? 395 00:25:36.034 --> 00:25:37.868 Pretty good, I guess. 396 00:25:55.971 --> 00:25:58.055 Did you hurt your back? 397 00:25:59.808 --> 00:26:00.849 Oh. Hee, hee. 398 00:26:01.184 --> 00:26:03.686 Yeah, I hurt my back. 399 00:26:04.020 --> 00:26:05.521 Ah. Ooh! 400 00:26:08.108 --> 00:26:09.358 Party balloons. 401 00:26:09.526 --> 00:26:12.027 Those aren't party balloons. I know what they are. 402 00:26:12.195 --> 00:26:14.238 So, is this what you had planned for tonight? 403 00:26:14.406 --> 00:26:15.698 No, those are my dad's. 404 00:26:15.865 --> 00:26:18.158 Your dad's not hiding in the closet or something? 405 00:26:18.326 --> 00:26:20.494 Oh, I hate that. 406 00:26:24.207 --> 00:26:25.249 This was fun. 407 00:26:25.417 --> 00:26:29.545 No, come on. Stick around. Okay, no, you can't go. 408 00:26:29.713 --> 00:26:30.754 No, wait, wait, wait. 409 00:26:30.922 --> 00:26:33.632 I mean, we've still got wine to drink. 23 bottles. 410 00:26:33.800 --> 00:26:36.051 Oh, wine reminds me of Jesus. 411 00:26:36.219 --> 00:26:38.053 You know what, Denis, we really do have to go. 412 00:26:38.221 --> 00:26:40.222 This was a great party, though. 413 00:26:52.986 --> 00:26:54.737 Oh, shit, Kevin. 414 00:26:54.904 --> 00:26:56.614 He triangulated your cell phone. 415 00:27:00.410 --> 00:27:02.411 We're gonna need more waffles. 416 00:27:14.758 --> 00:27:17.051 Sean, you naughty boy. 417 00:27:19.429 --> 00:27:20.763 No, no, no, no. 418 00:27:23.600 --> 00:27:25.893 Nobody move. Why? 419 00:27:26.061 --> 00:27:28.604 Because he is going to kill me. 420 00:27:29.189 --> 00:27:31.440 The most he's gonna do is beat you up a little. 421 00:27:31.608 --> 00:27:34.443 Lisbee! Lisbee, open this door! 422 00:27:35.612 --> 00:27:39.114 The windows! Secure the windows! 423 00:27:42.452 --> 00:27:44.578 Get out here! 424 00:27:45.288 --> 00:27:46.330 Is he always like this? 425 00:27:46.498 --> 00:27:49.333 This is new behavior, but not surprising. 426 00:27:54.464 --> 00:27:56.715 He's kind of cute. 427 00:27:57.592 --> 00:27:58.634 Kind of. 428 00:28:05.892 --> 00:28:07.476 Oh, my God. 429 00:28:10.897 --> 00:28:12.272 Don't be afraid, I can handle this. 430 00:28:12.440 --> 00:28:13.482 I wasn't afraid. 431 00:28:13.650 --> 00:28:15.067 Why would you think I was afraid? 432 00:28:15.235 --> 00:28:17.069 Congratulations, you found me. 433 00:28:17.237 --> 00:28:20.572 Interesting situation we have here. 434 00:28:20.740 --> 00:28:22.616 Have you been doing coke? 435 00:28:22.784 --> 00:28:24.326 Not now, Lisbee. 436 00:28:24.494 --> 00:28:25.494 He's coked up? 437 00:28:25.662 --> 00:28:28.622 That is not one of the good drugs. 438 00:28:32.502 --> 00:28:35.421 Hey! Aunt Brenda gave us that! 439 00:28:36.673 --> 00:28:38.424 Prepare to die. 440 00:28:39.843 --> 00:28:43.804 Okay, that's Mandy Patinkin in The Princess Bride, Rob Reiner, 1987. 441 00:28:43.972 --> 00:28:46.098 Also the same line was used by Emperor Zurg... 442 00:28:47.600 --> 00:28:49.268 Oh, my God! 443 00:28:52.605 --> 00:28:54.356 Stop it! Stop! 444 00:28:54.524 --> 00:28:57.401 Now, this is willful damage to property! 445 00:28:57.569 --> 00:28:58.610 That's a legal term! 446 00:29:03.491 --> 00:29:04.867 Go! 447 00:29:07.579 --> 00:29:09.663 Kevin, stop! 448 00:29:09.831 --> 00:29:11.123 Hey, hey, hey. 449 00:29:11.541 --> 00:29:14.209 No, Denis! Have you ever seen any of the Friday The 13ths? 450 00:29:14.377 --> 00:29:16.462 You run upstairs, you die! 451 00:29:26.723 --> 00:29:29.892 A weapon, we need a weapon. 452 00:29:33.646 --> 00:29:36.356 Oh, my God. Find weapons. Aah! 453 00:29:44.908 --> 00:29:46.450 Denis! 454 00:30:12.560 --> 00:30:14.186 I know what you're thinking. 455 00:30:15.104 --> 00:30:19.691 And, yes, this is a polycarbonate blade. 456 00:30:23.780 --> 00:30:27.115 I took some workshops at the Star Wars convention. 457 00:30:29.410 --> 00:30:30.702 Dr. McCoy. 458 00:30:32.038 --> 00:30:35.749 That used to be a person, so you show some respect! 459 00:30:45.802 --> 00:30:49.721 Rich, I need your help. Come out of the closet! 460 00:31:01.359 --> 00:31:03.527 Uh, uh, okay. 461 00:31:18.960 --> 00:31:21.336 Go, get out of here! 462 00:31:21.629 --> 00:31:23.088 Go! 463 00:31:28.678 --> 00:31:30.220 Weird. Rich? 464 00:31:30.388 --> 00:31:33.557 Yeah? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Denis? 465 00:31:34.809 --> 00:31:37.519 Over here, over here. Are you okay? 466 00:31:37.687 --> 00:31:40.480 Yeah, I'm coming. I'm fine. 467 00:31:40.648 --> 00:31:41.815 Rich, what are you doing? 468 00:31:41.983 --> 00:31:44.318 I think I've made a terrible decision. 469 00:31:44.485 --> 00:31:46.987 At which point did you think that was a good decision? 470 00:31:47.155 --> 00:31:48.947 Yeah, no, no, no, I d... 471 00:31:53.995 --> 00:31:55.037 Rich! 472 00:31:55.204 --> 00:31:56.872 Denis? 473 00:32:17.727 --> 00:32:18.727 Are you okay? 474 00:32:18.895 --> 00:32:21.897 I'm paralyzed. I'm a paralyzed virgin. 475 00:32:22.065 --> 00:32:23.774 You'll be okay. 476 00:32:23.942 --> 00:32:25.859 Quadriplegics can have sex. 477 00:32:26.027 --> 00:32:28.987 I saw a documentary about it once on public television. 478 00:32:29.155 --> 00:32:30.405 Let's go. Come on. 479 00:32:30.573 --> 00:32:33.075 Yeah. Okay. 480 00:32:36.955 --> 00:32:39.373 Sean, Dustin, come on! 481 00:32:42.126 --> 00:32:43.168 Go, go, go! 482 00:32:52.261 --> 00:32:53.887 They're like cyborgs. 483 00:32:55.765 --> 00:32:57.099 Denis? 484 00:33:01.938 --> 00:33:07.150 Rich! Rich! Rich! 485 00:33:14.450 --> 00:33:18.578 Why did you do that? I thought you were smart. 486 00:33:18.746 --> 00:33:21.873 I was smart. 487 00:33:22.041 --> 00:33:27.295 Oh, my God. Get him in the car. 488 00:33:27.922 --> 00:33:30.132 Come on. Are you okay? 489 00:33:30.299 --> 00:33:31.842 Oh, my gosh. 490 00:33:32.010 --> 00:33:33.802 Wait, Rich. 491 00:33:43.104 --> 00:33:45.605 Lisbee! Stop the car. 492 00:33:48.026 --> 00:33:49.735 Hey! Come back here! 493 00:33:49.902 --> 00:33:52.487 Call me when you're sober! 494 00:34:07.462 --> 00:34:09.921 Are you okay? Yeah, no, I'm fi... 495 00:34:12.508 --> 00:34:13.675 No blood. 496 00:34:17.972 --> 00:34:23.685 Beth, we got away, so you can stop escaping now if you want to. 497 00:34:23.853 --> 00:34:25.687 She always drives like this. 498 00:34:27.356 --> 00:34:29.775 I was in Driver's Ed with her. 499 00:34:29.942 --> 00:34:30.984 You could slow down. 500 00:34:31.152 --> 00:34:32.611 We're gonna try to watch the cones. 501 00:34:32.779 --> 00:34:34.529 We're gonna watch the road. 502 00:34:34.864 --> 00:34:36.031 Oh! I... Oh. 503 00:34:37.366 --> 00:34:38.992 Not good, not good. Oh! 504 00:34:41.370 --> 00:34:42.871 I'm gonna need you to pull over. 505 00:34:43.289 --> 00:34:45.290 Oh, shit! 506 00:34:49.295 --> 00:34:51.546 Great, you just killed everybody in the car. 507 00:34:55.718 --> 00:34:58.220 I'm, like, the least notable person in this car. 508 00:34:58.387 --> 00:35:02.224 When we all die, I'll be referred to as fifth student. 509 00:35:03.392 --> 00:35:05.393 So, Beth, uh... 510 00:35:05.561 --> 00:35:08.772 ...I just wanna say thanks for rescuing me... 511 00:35:08.940 --> 00:35:11.483 ...back there after you hit me with your car. 512 00:35:11.651 --> 00:35:12.692 That was pretty cool. 513 00:35:12.860 --> 00:35:16.780 No, you ran into my car. 514 00:35:16.948 --> 00:35:20.534 And I'm not rescuing you. Kevin is heavily medicated right now. 515 00:35:20.701 --> 00:35:24.162 Cocaine, speed, roid rage, and he can't have another incident. 516 00:35:24.330 --> 00:35:26.164 He'll get court-martialed for sure. 517 00:35:26.332 --> 00:35:28.375 Sure, yeah. 518 00:35:29.127 --> 00:35:31.920 Do you remember the specifics of his last incident? 519 00:35:33.256 --> 00:35:36.633 Whoa. Whoa. Whoa! 520 00:35:39.428 --> 00:35:41.596 Stupid drivers. 521 00:35:41.764 --> 00:35:46.893 Could I borrow your cell phone? I left mine back at the house. 522 00:35:48.104 --> 00:35:50.689 Thank you very much. I'll just... 523 00:36:00.283 --> 00:36:02.951 Honey. Honey, you're vibrating. You bet I am. 524 00:36:03.119 --> 00:36:05.412 No, honey, honey, it could be Denis. 525 00:36:09.834 --> 00:36:12.502 I don't recognize the number. Do you? 526 00:36:12.670 --> 00:36:15.338 Sorry. No. 527 00:36:15.923 --> 00:36:18.008 Must be a telemarketer. 528 00:36:25.433 --> 00:36:29.144 Oh, Mr. Cooverman. 529 00:36:32.064 --> 00:36:33.857 Hey, Mom, Dad, it... 530 00:36:34.025 --> 00:36:37.861 Hi, Mrs. C. Hi, Mrs. C! 531 00:36:38.029 --> 00:36:39.988 Yeah, that was just Rich... 532 00:36:40.156 --> 00:36:42.741 ...and we're okay. 533 00:36:42.909 --> 00:36:45.952 And I can explain the kitchen later. 534 00:36:46.120 --> 00:36:49.247 If you need to reach me, you can reach me at... 535 00:36:51.125 --> 00:36:54.336 Beth, I'm sorry, can I get your cell phone number? 536 00:36:55.213 --> 00:36:57.297 Shit, my phone! 537 00:36:57.465 --> 00:36:58.924 Kevin's probably tracking it. 538 00:36:59.091 --> 00:37:01.843 Aah. GPS that, asshole! 539 00:37:04.513 --> 00:37:05.764 Asshole. 540 00:37:07.850 --> 00:37:08.850 Cool. 541 00:37:09.018 --> 00:37:13.188 I rebuke you in the name of Jesus. 542 00:37:13.356 --> 00:37:15.273 Ugh. Radio sucks. 543 00:37:16.734 --> 00:37:21.112 Actually, why don't you tune that to 87.1? 544 00:37:21.280 --> 00:37:26.368 Cooked up a little commencement mix that I think all of you will enjoy. 545 00:37:26.535 --> 00:37:31.206 DJ C's slamming graduation. What! 546 00:37:46.889 --> 00:37:50.141 Well, we got no choice 547 00:37:50.309 --> 00:37:53.561 All the girls and boys 548 00:37:53.729 --> 00:37:57.065 Makin' all that noise 549 00:37:57.233 --> 00:38:00.402 'Cause they found new toys 550 00:38:00.903 --> 00:38:03.238 Well, we can't salute you 551 00:38:03.406 --> 00:38:05.031 Can't find a flag 552 00:38:05.199 --> 00:38:08.868 If that don't suit you That's a drag 553 00:38:09.036 --> 00:38:13.707 School's out for summer 554 00:38:15.751 --> 00:38:20.755 School's out forever 555 00:38:20.923 --> 00:38:23.258 Ever. 556 00:38:23.426 --> 00:38:27.595 School's been blown to pieces 557 00:38:27.763 --> 00:38:29.180 Yeah. 558 00:38:29.348 --> 00:38:33.893 I love this song. Who wouldn't want to blow up their school? 559 00:38:45.281 --> 00:38:47.615 Crack him like a walnut. 560 00:38:49.910 --> 00:38:51.286 Hello. 561 00:38:53.289 --> 00:38:55.206 Sorry. 562 00:38:56.542 --> 00:38:58.293 Let's get some beer. 563 00:39:04.508 --> 00:39:08.470 So, uh, I think I was knocked out back there momentarily... 564 00:39:08.637 --> 00:39:14.893 ...because I definitely wasn't, uh, you know, looking or anything. 565 00:39:15.061 --> 00:39:17.937 Yuck. What? 566 00:39:18.105 --> 00:39:21.149 Maybe we should get you some Band-Aids or cream or something. 567 00:39:21.317 --> 00:39:25.779 Oh, no. No, no, no, I'm... I'm... 568 00:39:25.946 --> 00:39:29.657 Wow, your eyes aren't blue. 569 00:39:31.077 --> 00:39:32.118 My eyes? 570 00:39:32.286 --> 00:39:35.497 Yeah, there's like some green in there and then... 571 00:39:35.664 --> 00:39:40.001 ...on the pupil, there's like a hazel starburst sort of thing going on. 572 00:39:41.295 --> 00:39:45.840 Uh, my grandma used to call them a real dog's breakfast. 573 00:39:46.467 --> 00:39:47.842 Lucky dog. 574 00:39:51.514 --> 00:39:53.640 So, what kind of beer do you like? 575 00:39:53.808 --> 00:39:55.600 What kind? All kinds. 576 00:39:55.768 --> 00:39:59.687 I'm a maniac for the brewdog. 577 00:40:04.026 --> 00:40:06.820 Chips, chips, chips. 578 00:40:08.197 --> 00:40:09.864 Got it? Yep, I got it. 579 00:40:10.032 --> 00:40:12.283 Suzy Q's, yum. 580 00:40:12.868 --> 00:40:14.786 My mom says yum. 581 00:40:15.538 --> 00:40:16.871 Yum. 582 00:40:17.039 --> 00:40:18.373 Not like that, that's... 583 00:40:18.541 --> 00:40:20.875 Got it? Yep, good. 584 00:40:21.877 --> 00:40:23.211 Hi. Hey. 585 00:40:23.379 --> 00:40:25.713 How are you? Really good. 586 00:40:29.009 --> 00:40:30.885 There you go. 587 00:40:33.889 --> 00:40:35.557 What's with your boyfriend? 588 00:40:35.724 --> 00:40:38.393 Oh, he's my little brother. 589 00:40:39.645 --> 00:40:41.396 What happened to his face? 590 00:40:42.648 --> 00:40:44.899 Dad beats him. 591 00:40:45.401 --> 00:40:46.484 Sorry I asked. 592 00:40:47.945 --> 00:40:50.071 Oh, uh... Heh, heh. 593 00:40:50.239 --> 00:40:51.823 I'm gonna need to see some ID. 594 00:40:53.159 --> 00:40:55.034 Of course. 595 00:40:57.872 --> 00:40:59.456 Here you go. 596 00:41:01.250 --> 00:41:04.586 Wow. You've lost weight, Patricia. 597 00:41:04.753 --> 00:41:06.754 You certainly don't look 37. 598 00:41:06.922 --> 00:41:08.756 Well, thank you. 599 00:41:11.218 --> 00:41:15.513 So that's $15.42, without the beer. 600 00:41:16.682 --> 00:41:20.226 Come on. It's graduation night. 601 00:41:20.394 --> 00:41:24.564 Oh, well, "congradulations." 602 00:41:26.275 --> 00:41:28.401 Sam. 603 00:41:28.569 --> 00:41:31.237 You seem like a cool guy, Sam. 604 00:41:31.405 --> 00:41:34.282 Come on. Be cool. 605 00:41:35.951 --> 00:41:38.745 Look, I could lose my shitty job. 606 00:41:42.416 --> 00:41:46.628 How about I kiss you so hard, every time you think about it... 607 00:41:46.795 --> 00:41:48.796 ...you'll have to change your underwear? 608 00:41:57.890 --> 00:41:59.599 We got beer. Whoo! 609 00:41:59.767 --> 00:42:03.019 So that was weird what you did in there, to him. 610 00:42:03.187 --> 00:42:04.229 What happened? 611 00:42:04.396 --> 00:42:07.232 I sucked his face for like 2 seconds. 612 00:42:07.399 --> 00:42:09.651 Sucked his face? 613 00:42:09.818 --> 00:42:10.902 Purell me. 614 00:42:11.070 --> 00:42:12.403 Wow. 615 00:42:12.780 --> 00:42:15.156 That was a big sacrifice. 616 00:42:15.324 --> 00:42:18.910 I couldn't have done it. I mean, before drinking the beer. 617 00:42:20.746 --> 00:42:22.664 I'd do 2 seconds. 618 00:42:26.585 --> 00:42:28.670 What? It isn't gay. It isn't gay. 619 00:42:28.837 --> 00:42:31.089 It isn't gay. It's not gay. 620 00:42:31.257 --> 00:42:33.174 It's within the 3-second rule. 621 00:42:33.676 --> 00:42:36.010 That's for food dropped on the floor. 622 00:42:36.887 --> 00:42:39.180 Yeah, uh, whatever. 623 00:42:43.185 --> 00:42:44.852 She's not Beth Cooper. 624 00:43:13.549 --> 00:43:14.799 Indians. 625 00:43:16.719 --> 00:43:21.139 It's Jack Nicholson, Easy Rider, 1969, directed by Dennis Hopper. 626 00:43:21.557 --> 00:43:24.017 Something is really wrong with you. 627 00:43:24.310 --> 00:43:25.351 Yeah. 628 00:43:27.605 --> 00:43:30.940 To old D.H. Lawrence. 629 00:43:33.694 --> 00:43:35.069 Hey. 630 00:44:06.477 --> 00:44:07.602 Sorry. 631 00:44:11.231 --> 00:44:13.775 Are you okay? I'm sorry. 632 00:44:16.987 --> 00:44:18.738 Is that your tooth? 633 00:44:19.615 --> 00:44:21.115 It was deciduous. 634 00:44:21.617 --> 00:44:23.076 You still have baby teeth? 635 00:44:23.243 --> 00:44:24.702 Only 3. 636 00:44:24.870 --> 00:44:26.871 Now... 2. 637 00:44:27.039 --> 00:44:29.374 I have 2. For your pillow. 638 00:44:29.541 --> 00:44:30.583 Thank you. 639 00:44:33.837 --> 00:44:37.757 How did that get on there? I don't... I didn't even put... 640 00:44:37.925 --> 00:44:39.300 Rich, did you put this on? 641 00:44:40.427 --> 00:44:41.928 Leave it. 642 00:44:51.063 --> 00:44:52.814 I have to pee. 643 00:44:52.981 --> 00:44:54.774 Me too. 644 00:44:57.820 --> 00:45:00.238 Ah. Me trice. 645 00:45:07.996 --> 00:45:10.665 You know, I was named after this song. 646 00:45:11.834 --> 00:45:13.835 You were named after a Kiss song? 647 00:45:14.002 --> 00:45:15.461 Yes. 648 00:45:16.463 --> 00:45:20.341 My parents were headbangers. 649 00:45:20.509 --> 00:45:23.428 Whoa. Still kind of are. 650 00:45:24.471 --> 00:45:27.849 Beth Cooper's parents. Taking in a Kiss show. 651 00:45:28.016 --> 00:45:33.312 Oh, man. That is so... cool. 652 00:45:34.857 --> 00:45:36.190 It's cool. 653 00:45:36.358 --> 00:45:40.528 You got headbangers parents. That's awesome. 654 00:45:43.031 --> 00:45:44.240 Hm. 655 00:45:46.243 --> 00:45:48.286 Why are we walking? 656 00:45:48.537 --> 00:45:52.081 When I get my own car, I am never walking anywhere again. 657 00:45:52.249 --> 00:45:54.208 My dad was gonna give me his old car... 658 00:45:54.376 --> 00:45:58.212 ...but then my stepmom bitch Tricia crashed hers. 659 00:45:58.380 --> 00:46:01.215 Well, that's what you get for splitting your parents up. 660 00:46:01.383 --> 00:46:03.134 Mean, mean! 661 00:46:03.302 --> 00:46:06.387 Never admit your innermost fears to Cammy. 662 00:46:06.764 --> 00:46:08.723 Oh, my God. 663 00:46:08.891 --> 00:46:10.683 What? Cows. 664 00:46:11.518 --> 00:46:13.144 Let's tip one. 665 00:46:13.312 --> 00:46:15.646 What, isn't that like an urban legend? 666 00:46:16.106 --> 00:46:18.733 Why don't you go find out? 667 00:46:19.234 --> 00:46:21.277 Me? It was your idea. 668 00:46:21.445 --> 00:46:22.904 You're the guy. 669 00:46:23.071 --> 00:46:24.822 More or less. 670 00:46:25.157 --> 00:46:26.199 Go, go, go. 671 00:46:26.366 --> 00:46:30.036 Okay, that's really nice. Okay. Ew. Ew. Ew. 672 00:46:30.204 --> 00:46:31.245 Okay. 673 00:46:31.413 --> 00:46:34.081 Shh. Could you just: Shh. 674 00:46:34.249 --> 00:46:37.585 This is the one. Go. Shut up. 675 00:46:37.753 --> 00:46:39.837 Hey, okay. Ew. Okay. 676 00:46:41.215 --> 00:46:43.174 Whoa. What's that kind of...? That's like a noise. 677 00:46:43.342 --> 00:46:44.967 It's a moo, okay? Push it. 678 00:46:45.135 --> 00:46:47.261 Where? In the middle. 679 00:46:47.429 --> 00:46:48.513 Okay, push. 680 00:46:48.680 --> 00:46:50.640 Oh, shit. 681 00:46:52.434 --> 00:46:53.935 Do not laugh. 682 00:47:00.067 --> 00:47:01.776 So, what are you thinking? 683 00:47:03.487 --> 00:47:05.196 Nothing. 684 00:47:05.989 --> 00:47:09.116 So, what are you doing after graduation? 685 00:47:09.409 --> 00:47:10.451 I was gonna... 686 00:47:10.619 --> 00:47:14.705 They got this, like, pre-med med-school thing at Stanford and... 687 00:47:15.415 --> 00:47:17.500 Good luck with that. 688 00:47:21.755 --> 00:47:23.756 So, what are your plans? 689 00:47:24.299 --> 00:47:28.261 I don't know. Maybe go to old Harpers Community College. 690 00:47:28.637 --> 00:47:30.263 Harpers. 691 00:47:30.639 --> 00:47:32.139 Yeah, no, cool. 692 00:47:32.307 --> 00:47:37.144 They got a lot of good credit courses. 693 00:47:37.646 --> 00:47:40.106 Maybe. If I can afford it. 694 00:47:46.196 --> 00:47:48.656 So I'm not Beth Cooper, huh? 695 00:47:49.867 --> 00:47:50.908 You heard that? 696 00:47:54.705 --> 00:48:00.209 Look, what I only meant was, you didn't seem like... 697 00:48:00.377 --> 00:48:02.336 The Beth Cooper over your bed? 698 00:48:03.130 --> 00:48:05.840 Right. Her. 699 00:48:06.008 --> 00:48:08.551 She would never hook up with some loser for a 12-pack. 700 00:48:08.719 --> 00:48:11.470 No, she wouldn't. 701 00:48:12.681 --> 00:48:15.224 And you don't have to. 702 00:48:18.186 --> 00:48:20.146 You're better than that. 703 00:48:39.374 --> 00:48:41.626 That's it. I'm done. 704 00:48:41.793 --> 00:48:44.253 I'm going back. Thank you. 705 00:48:45.088 --> 00:48:46.464 You're welcome. 706 00:48:46.632 --> 00:48:47.757 Bye, cow! 707 00:48:51.720 --> 00:48:53.262 What's that sound? 708 00:48:56.725 --> 00:48:58.059 Cows. Aah! 709 00:48:58.560 --> 00:49:01.395 Stampede! 710 00:49:06.234 --> 00:49:08.235 What the hell was that? 711 00:49:09.947 --> 00:49:12.073 Uh, sounded like a cow. 712 00:49:12.240 --> 00:49:15.952 No, that was no standard cow. 713 00:49:17.788 --> 00:49:21.082 Denis Cooverman. Are you afraid of cows? 714 00:49:21.249 --> 00:49:23.751 Vaccaphobic? Course not. 715 00:49:26.088 --> 00:49:27.463 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 716 00:49:27.631 --> 00:49:29.006 What the hell? What happened? 717 00:49:29.174 --> 00:49:30.508 God, it's so funny! 718 00:49:30.676 --> 00:49:31.926 A cow bit me! 719 00:49:32.094 --> 00:49:33.761 No, cows can't bite. 720 00:49:33.929 --> 00:49:35.763 Well, this one sure as shit could. 721 00:49:35.931 --> 00:49:37.890 No, no, no, cows don't bite. 722 00:49:38.058 --> 00:49:41.435 We all know that they lack upper incisors. 723 00:49:42.562 --> 00:49:43.938 You're useful. 724 00:49:44.773 --> 00:49:46.732 What is that smell? 725 00:49:47.234 --> 00:49:49.110 He pooped his shoes. 726 00:49:52.990 --> 00:49:56.158 Lose the shoes. I paid for these shoes. 727 00:49:56.743 --> 00:49:59.954 Uh, you're not getting in my car with those shoes on. 728 00:50:00.122 --> 00:50:02.415 They go, with you in them or not. 729 00:50:06.294 --> 00:50:07.586 You pooped your shoes. 730 00:50:25.981 --> 00:50:27.481 Lights out. 731 00:50:47.878 --> 00:50:52.798 To the future! Whoo! 732 00:50:58.388 --> 00:51:01.057 Turn the headlights on now! Please, please, please! 733 00:51:01.224 --> 00:51:02.349 Okay! 734 00:51:03.727 --> 00:51:05.853 There, you happy? 735 00:51:06.021 --> 00:51:07.271 Car! 736 00:51:20.368 --> 00:51:23.621 Sorry, I was unaware I was emitting that. 737 00:51:39.221 --> 00:51:41.764 Mr. And Mrs. C? Who? 738 00:51:43.016 --> 00:51:44.850 My mom and dad. 739 00:51:46.937 --> 00:51:50.648 Could be worse. Could not be your mom. 740 00:51:52.275 --> 00:51:57.113 Well, thank you all for a lovely evening... 741 00:51:58.281 --> 00:52:00.241 ...but now I must die. 742 00:52:00.700 --> 00:52:04.245 You do not wanna talk to your dad when he has his pants down. 743 00:52:06.581 --> 00:52:07.915 Yeah. 744 00:52:15.257 --> 00:52:16.674 Goddamn kids! 745 00:52:21.012 --> 00:52:22.221 Jeez! 746 00:52:22.389 --> 00:52:23.889 Sorry! 747 00:52:27.144 --> 00:52:28.561 Thank you. 748 00:52:29.020 --> 00:52:30.813 Shit my panties. 749 00:52:30.981 --> 00:52:33.899 This is Valli Wooley's house. We can't go in here. 750 00:52:34.067 --> 00:52:35.651 Because you called her a stuck-up bitch... 751 00:52:35.819 --> 00:52:37.278 ...in front of the whole school? 752 00:52:37.445 --> 00:52:38.487 Don't worry... 753 00:52:38.655 --> 00:52:40.364 ...she's usually upstairs with a guy by now. 754 00:52:40.532 --> 00:52:42.575 If she gives you shit, go for her throat. 755 00:52:42.742 --> 00:52:43.951 She'll be protecting her nose. 756 00:52:44.119 --> 00:52:46.620 Her nose was a graduation present. 757 00:52:47.455 --> 00:52:48.455 Bitch. 758 00:52:50.250 --> 00:52:51.292 Hi! 759 00:52:51.459 --> 00:52:53.711 Ew. Don't say hi to her. Ew. 760 00:52:53.879 --> 00:52:56.005 Drinks by the pool! 761 00:53:07.350 --> 00:53:11.270 Hey, what is that? It's nice. Is it salmon-colored? 762 00:53:15.525 --> 00:53:16.817 Sorry. 763 00:53:28.330 --> 00:53:29.747 Your party was better. 764 00:53:48.600 --> 00:53:49.642 What? 765 00:53:54.522 --> 00:53:56.690 I'm gonna go find a bathroom. 766 00:54:18.880 --> 00:54:20.214 Okay. 767 00:54:21.216 --> 00:54:22.508 Don't move. 768 00:54:22.676 --> 00:54:26.011 All right, yes, fine, all right. 769 00:54:28.098 --> 00:54:29.890 Oh, Greg. 770 00:54:31.017 --> 00:54:34.144 Well, if anybody's gonna kill me tonight... 771 00:54:34.312 --> 00:54:35.896 ...it should be you, you deserve it. 772 00:54:36.064 --> 00:54:37.564 You've earned it. 773 00:54:40.694 --> 00:54:42.236 How did you know? 774 00:54:44.239 --> 00:54:45.614 How did you? 775 00:55:07.846 --> 00:55:09.263 Did I do that? 776 00:55:09.514 --> 00:55:13.309 This? No, it's not one of yours. 777 00:55:13.727 --> 00:55:15.269 It was an accident. 778 00:55:15.437 --> 00:55:19.606 You know, sometimes, I don't even remember doing it. 779 00:55:21.109 --> 00:55:22.651 I just black out. 780 00:55:24.279 --> 00:55:26.280 I'd have that looked at, Greg. 781 00:55:26.823 --> 00:55:28.198 Yeah. 782 00:55:32.245 --> 00:55:36.415 Maybe I could call you sometime? We could talk about it? 783 00:55:36.958 --> 00:55:38.208 Sure. 784 00:55:39.961 --> 00:55:42.588 Maybe a trained professional would be better. 785 00:55:42.756 --> 00:55:45.424 I'm just thinking aloud here. 786 00:55:47.344 --> 00:55:50.137 But can I get a hug? I mean, hugs are good. 787 00:55:51.389 --> 00:55:53.307 You do what you need to do, Greg. 788 00:55:57.103 --> 00:55:58.479 All right. 789 00:56:01.900 --> 00:56:05.486 Forget the tears we've cried 790 00:56:07.197 --> 00:56:10.824 Forget the good times too 791 00:56:13.370 --> 00:56:17.331 Forget the pain inside 792 00:56:19.459 --> 00:56:24.713 I will be there waiting for you 793 00:56:25.090 --> 00:56:27.674 Thanks, Denis. Thanks a lot. Thanks. 794 00:56:32.680 --> 00:56:34.098 Rich! 795 00:56:34.391 --> 00:56:36.850 Le Coove! Here. Thank you. 796 00:56:37.018 --> 00:56:38.936 Check it out. Coach Raupp. 797 00:56:40.146 --> 00:56:41.438 Pedophilia. 798 00:56:42.440 --> 00:56:44.733 It's always the gym teachers. 799 00:56:47.529 --> 00:56:49.738 You know they call us Dick Munch and the Penis? 800 00:56:49.906 --> 00:56:51.031 Yeah. 801 00:56:51.199 --> 00:56:54.535 I mean, like, together, like we're like the gaynamic duo or something. 802 00:56:55.995 --> 00:56:58.038 Where's Beth? Wherever. 803 00:56:59.124 --> 00:57:00.749 I told you that speech was a good idea. 804 00:57:00.917 --> 00:57:02.126 What are you talking about? 805 00:57:02.293 --> 00:57:05.045 What about what's happened tonight could be construed as good? 806 00:57:05.213 --> 00:57:07.131 Closure. If you didn't give that speech... 807 00:57:07.298 --> 00:57:09.967 ...you'd never know what a scary wack job Beth Cooper was. 808 00:57:10.135 --> 00:57:12.886 No other girl would ever live up to her mythic proportions. 809 00:57:13.054 --> 00:57:17.433 She's not a scary wack job. She's not a wack job. 810 00:57:17.600 --> 00:57:20.018 Dude, don't backpedal, you know. Onwards! 811 00:57:21.396 --> 00:57:24.648 Your new hopeless obsession might be at this very party. 812 00:57:25.358 --> 00:57:26.692 Denny! 813 00:57:26.860 --> 00:57:28.444 Oh, secret shame. 814 00:57:28.611 --> 00:57:29.653 This is so great. 815 00:57:29.821 --> 00:57:31.905 I didn't expect to see you here. 816 00:57:33.408 --> 00:57:34.741 Patty. 817 00:57:35.702 --> 00:57:40.581 I loved your speech. You said some very perceptive things. 818 00:57:40.790 --> 00:57:43.917 Richard, do you know Victoria? 819 00:57:44.085 --> 00:57:47.880 Yes, certainamente. You, uh, lost weight, Tori. 820 00:57:49.174 --> 00:57:51.508 You're not wearing shoes. 821 00:57:52.427 --> 00:57:54.219 Nobody wears shoes anymore. 822 00:57:54.387 --> 00:57:56.680 Denny, what happened to your poor face? 823 00:57:57.056 --> 00:57:58.807 Greg Saloga beat you up, I bet. 824 00:57:58.975 --> 00:58:01.768 Or Valli Wooley, she paid someone to beat you up? 825 00:58:01.936 --> 00:58:06.273 No, the Coove had a little dust-up with Beth Cooper's boyfriend. 826 00:58:06.566 --> 00:58:09.067 Beth Cooper? Yeah, ex-boyfriend actually. 827 00:58:09.235 --> 00:58:13.113 Army, dark ops, couldn't stand the idea of the Coove here and Beth... 828 00:58:13.281 --> 00:58:14.990 ...so it went to blows. 829 00:58:15.158 --> 00:58:19.036 I mean, you think this is bad, you should see the other guy. 830 00:58:19.204 --> 00:58:22.122 Yeah, I mean, I feel bad for him. 831 00:58:22.290 --> 00:58:25.334 He's in the hospital, all beaten up and shit. 832 00:58:25.502 --> 00:58:28.045 To tell you the truth, I just hope he's okay. 833 00:58:28.213 --> 00:58:29.338 Me too. 834 00:58:29.506 --> 00:58:32.508 Actually, he's upstairs. 835 00:58:33.593 --> 00:58:35.719 Um, whoa, uh... 836 00:58:35.887 --> 00:58:37.804 Right, look at the time here. 837 00:58:37.972 --> 00:58:42.142 My female fiancee's getting off her shift at Hooters, so... 838 00:58:42.310 --> 00:58:45.395 Wow, you know, but this has been a pleasure, ladies, so... 839 00:58:45.563 --> 00:58:48.273 Good luck! It was nice seeing you! 840 00:58:49.234 --> 00:58:50.442 Bye! 841 00:58:51.819 --> 00:58:53.070 Sorry. 842 00:58:53.488 --> 00:58:55.656 Where are you going? We gotta get out of here. 843 00:58:55.823 --> 00:58:57.241 Asshole! 844 00:58:57.408 --> 00:58:58.659 What are you doing here? 845 00:59:01.329 --> 00:59:02.496 Don't. 846 00:59:13.383 --> 00:59:15.467 So we meet again. 847 00:59:15.760 --> 00:59:20.931 Really? Ernst Blofeld in just like every Bond movie. Oh, okay. 848 00:59:21.099 --> 00:59:22.391 Kevin, just stop. 849 00:59:24.018 --> 00:59:25.561 Get out of here. 850 00:59:26.145 --> 00:59:28.772 And get yourself tested for gonorrhea. 851 00:59:29.816 --> 00:59:35.195 Why don't you get that tight, pretty butt of yours in my vehicle, all right? 852 00:59:36.656 --> 00:59:38.031 Move out! 853 00:59:45.832 --> 00:59:47.249 Are you okay? 854 00:59:51.087 --> 00:59:52.421 Stay here. 855 00:59:54.966 --> 00:59:56.383 Clear out! 856 01:00:02.974 --> 01:00:05.475 I am not your plaything! 857 01:00:07.895 --> 01:00:12.065 No, no, come on! Come on, people! Are you just gonna let him murder me? 858 01:00:12.233 --> 01:00:13.275 Wait! 859 01:00:17.905 --> 01:00:20.365 I am not worthless, okay? 860 01:00:20.533 --> 01:00:24.578 Look at this party. Look at all my friends. 861 01:00:25.246 --> 01:00:27.205 Cause brain damage. 862 01:00:29.125 --> 01:00:31.501 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 863 01:00:31.669 --> 01:00:33.086 Thank God, Coach Raupp. 864 01:00:33.254 --> 01:00:34.630 Ladies. 865 01:00:35.298 --> 01:00:36.632 Some ground rules. 866 01:00:36.799 --> 01:00:40.010 You're not gonna stop it? Look, all I want is a fair fight. 867 01:00:40.178 --> 01:00:43.263 Fair fight? Look at his arms, they're like redwoods. 868 01:00:43.431 --> 01:00:44.848 Yeah. Aren't they great? 869 01:00:45.016 --> 01:00:46.767 Okay. Pretty simple. 870 01:00:46.934 --> 01:00:51.438 No biting, scratching, hair-pulling. None of that sissy stuff, okay? 871 01:00:51.606 --> 01:00:53.065 Headbutt? Definitely. 872 01:00:53.232 --> 01:00:56.735 And remember, once your opponent loses consciousness... 873 01:00:56.903 --> 01:00:58.278 ...the beating is over. 874 01:00:58.446 --> 01:00:59.905 Okay? 875 01:01:00.073 --> 01:01:01.239 And... 876 01:01:01.783 --> 01:01:02.991 ...fight. 877 01:01:06.788 --> 01:01:08.622 Cooverman, Bison pride. 878 01:01:09.248 --> 01:01:11.083 No, I'm not gonna fight him. 879 01:01:11.250 --> 01:01:13.877 Don't be such a pussy, pussy. Come on. 880 01:01:14.170 --> 01:01:17.839 Look, Kevin, you've won, okay? 881 01:01:18.007 --> 01:01:19.257 You got the girl... 882 01:01:19.425 --> 01:01:22.094 ...you've humiliated me in front of all my peers. 883 01:01:22.261 --> 01:01:26.181 I apologize and surrender unconditionally. 884 01:01:29.060 --> 01:01:30.894 Denis. 885 01:01:31.062 --> 01:01:32.562 Denny, your face. 886 01:01:32.730 --> 01:01:36.817 Wow. Ha, ha. Oh, man! That was great. 887 01:01:36.984 --> 01:01:38.527 Are you okay? 888 01:01:39.278 --> 01:01:40.320 Get up! 889 01:01:41.906 --> 01:01:43.824 You can take him. No, no. 890 01:01:43.991 --> 01:01:45.158 You can do this. 891 01:01:45.785 --> 01:01:48.161 Get up! Come on. 892 01:01:48.663 --> 01:01:50.539 Hey! 893 01:01:50.707 --> 01:01:51.873 Leave my friend alone! 894 01:01:56.462 --> 01:01:57.504 Let's get him. 895 01:02:01.843 --> 01:02:03.927 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Timeout, Salo... 896 01:02:10.184 --> 01:02:11.893 That all you got, son, huh? 897 01:02:26.159 --> 01:02:28.869 Now, Denis, where were we? 898 01:02:52.226 --> 01:02:53.977 Denis Cooverman. 899 01:02:57.231 --> 01:02:58.398 Come on. 900 01:03:01.652 --> 01:03:03.445 Where do you think you're going? 901 01:03:07.825 --> 01:03:09.910 Okay, time to get in the car! Get in the car. 902 01:03:10.411 --> 01:03:13.079 Denis! Come on. 903 01:03:19.253 --> 01:03:20.504 Watch it! 904 01:03:29.931 --> 01:03:32.766 Do you know how many laws you just broke? 905 01:03:32.934 --> 01:03:35.268 Grand theft auto, criminal destruction of property... 906 01:03:35.436 --> 01:03:38.063 ...assault with a deadly weapon, aggravated battery... 907 01:03:38.231 --> 01:03:42.400 ...leaving the scene of an accident, speeding, and now failure to stop! 908 01:03:42.568 --> 01:03:46.196 That's 7, at least! That's a new record! 909 01:03:46.364 --> 01:03:48.448 I don't think that's a record. 910 01:03:48.616 --> 01:03:50.283 I think you should pull over. 911 01:03:50.451 --> 01:03:51.618 Pull over, Beth. Ha. 912 01:03:51.953 --> 01:03:54.037 Hey, how about this? How about: 913 01:03:54.205 --> 01:03:58.041 "Thank you. Thank you, Beth, for saving my life again?" 914 01:03:58.209 --> 01:04:01.545 Saving my life? Saving my...? 915 01:04:02.129 --> 01:04:05.090 You're the one who almost ran over me with a military vehicle... 916 01:04:05.258 --> 01:04:07.968 ...owned by some homicidal rage ape you call a boyfriend... 917 01:04:08.135 --> 01:04:09.970 ...who's been trying to kill me all night! 918 01:04:10.137 --> 01:04:12.264 You're spitting your blood at me! Pbbt. 919 01:04:12.431 --> 01:04:15.016 You're supposed to keep your bodily fluids to yourself. 920 01:04:15.184 --> 01:04:19.855 You know what? This is not fun anymore. 921 01:04:21.941 --> 01:04:24.109 Who said it's supposed to be fun? 922 01:04:43.671 --> 01:04:45.463 Everybody out. 923 01:04:49.802 --> 01:04:52.971 Uh-uh. No, no, no. What are we doing here? 924 01:04:53.139 --> 01:04:54.639 I have a key to the school. 925 01:04:54.807 --> 01:04:56.433 You have a key to the school. 926 01:04:56.601 --> 01:04:59.853 Head cheerleader is a position of trust and responsibility. 927 01:05:00.021 --> 01:05:02.480 Heh, heh. Fools. Ha, ha, ha. 928 01:05:08.863 --> 01:05:12.365 Come on, Denis. This is the least illegal thing we've done all night. 929 01:05:12.533 --> 01:05:14.367 Sit. You'll enjoy it. 930 01:05:19.874 --> 01:05:21.750 Ready, girls? Yes. 931 01:05:21.918 --> 01:05:24.252 5, 6, 7, 8! 932 01:05:24.420 --> 01:05:27.380 Are you ready? Ready for the best 933 01:05:27.548 --> 01:05:30.759 B-G, number one Oh, yeah, nothing less 934 01:05:30.927 --> 01:05:33.553 5, 6, 7, 8! 935 01:05:33.721 --> 01:05:36.890 We're going to the top We can't be stopped 936 01:05:37.058 --> 01:05:39.392 Come on, girls Yell yellow! 937 01:05:39.810 --> 01:05:41.144 Yellow. 938 01:05:41.312 --> 01:05:42.520 Yell blue! 939 01:05:42.688 --> 01:05:43.939 Blue! 940 01:05:44.315 --> 01:05:47.275 Mighty Bisons Oh, yeah, let's fight 941 01:05:47.443 --> 01:05:50.236 Ready and slow it down. 942 01:05:50.404 --> 01:05:54.407 Can you feel it? What? Can you feel the heat? 943 01:05:54.575 --> 01:05:58.203 Yellow and blue Oh, yeah, how sweet 944 01:05:58.496 --> 01:06:01.164 Ready and last time 945 01:06:01.332 --> 01:06:04.709 With spirit and spark We steal the show 946 01:06:04.877 --> 01:06:08.254 Mighty Bisons, kiss, kiss Gotta go! 947 01:06:08.422 --> 01:06:09.965 Yeah! 948 01:06:32.196 --> 01:06:34.114 Let's hit the showers. 949 01:06:34.281 --> 01:06:37.283 Showers! Showers! Yay! 950 01:06:38.285 --> 01:06:40.704 Let's go! Come on, hurry! Showers! 951 01:06:51.424 --> 01:06:53.758 They're hitting the showers. Yeah. 952 01:06:53.926 --> 01:06:55.218 Come on! 953 01:06:55.386 --> 01:06:58.221 I... l... I'd love to. I just, um... 954 01:06:58.389 --> 01:07:01.808 I don't think we were invited. Uh, I'm pretty sure we were. 955 01:07:04.145 --> 01:07:06.479 You know, Rich... 956 01:07:07.732 --> 01:07:10.150 ...you don't have to prove anything. 957 01:07:33.174 --> 01:07:34.758 Some woman. 958 01:07:36.218 --> 01:07:37.594 Oh, yeah. 959 01:07:38.512 --> 01:07:41.848 I said yes, immediately. I was like... 960 01:07:43.601 --> 01:07:45.518 Sorry. Denis. 961 01:07:50.357 --> 01:07:52.025 Don't be shy. 962 01:08:01.535 --> 01:08:02.827 God. 963 01:08:03.037 --> 01:08:04.370 Oh. 964 01:08:08.876 --> 01:08:11.628 Hey, space boy. Come get wet. 965 01:08:17.885 --> 01:08:20.386 That invitation good enough for you? 966 01:08:21.388 --> 01:08:24.015 I just don't think we should be... 967 01:08:24.183 --> 01:08:26.893 Stop! Stop thinking with your brain, dude. 968 01:08:27.061 --> 01:08:31.272 I don't wanna ruin anything. There's nothing left to ruin! 969 01:08:31.440 --> 01:08:33.733 You know, except maybe this. 970 01:08:33.901 --> 01:08:36.736 And this, my friend, is a rare occasion. 971 01:08:36.904 --> 01:08:38.905 Chances like this don't come along every day. 972 01:08:39.073 --> 01:08:40.573 In fact, they never come along. 973 01:08:40.741 --> 01:08:42.242 This does not happen! 974 01:08:42.409 --> 01:08:44.244 Are you guys coming? 975 01:08:45.287 --> 01:08:50.875 "Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary." 976 01:08:51.043 --> 01:08:53.670 Robin Williams, and your dad. 977 01:08:55.589 --> 01:09:00.385 I'm just trying to make it through the night alive, okay? 978 01:09:00.636 --> 01:09:02.971 You're not alive unless you're living. 979 01:09:05.266 --> 01:09:06.432 Who said that? 980 01:09:08.561 --> 01:09:10.103 I think I did. 981 01:09:13.566 --> 01:09:15.775 "Here's Johnny!" 982 01:09:30.082 --> 01:09:32.500 Carpe diem. 983 01:09:50.477 --> 01:09:51.811 Beth. 984 01:09:52.855 --> 01:09:56.149 Gotta tell you, you're in for a treat. 985 01:09:56.317 --> 01:09:59.986 Been reading a few of my mom's ladies magazines... 986 01:10:00.154 --> 01:10:04.324 ...and they've got a couple secrets on how to ultimately pleasure you. 987 01:10:16.212 --> 01:10:19.547 How did you find us?! LoJack, dipshit. 988 01:10:19.715 --> 01:10:21.758 Man of war! 989 01:10:22.718 --> 01:10:25.386 Taste my wet blade. 990 01:10:33.520 --> 01:10:36.022 Come on! Get your stuff! Go! 991 01:10:36.190 --> 01:10:39.025 Are you sure? I can handle these three. 992 01:10:40.402 --> 01:10:43.279 I've been preparing for this all my life. 993 01:10:43.572 --> 01:10:45.740 Help! Help! 994 01:10:55.626 --> 01:10:57.710 Come on, let's get out of here. 995 01:11:05.219 --> 01:11:06.844 Never again. 996 01:11:14.603 --> 01:11:15.937 Yes! 997 01:11:40.921 --> 01:11:43.589 Come on, hurry up! I'm trying, stop moving! 998 01:11:43.757 --> 01:11:45.842 What happened to your pants? 999 01:11:46.010 --> 01:11:47.927 Your boyfriend has them. 1000 01:11:48.095 --> 01:11:50.388 Okay, we gotta go, come on. Get your stuff! 1001 01:11:50.556 --> 01:11:52.265 Come on, come on, come on! 1002 01:11:57.688 --> 01:12:01.607 Aw, how sweet. Kevin brought back my car. 1003 01:12:01.775 --> 01:12:02.942 Come on! 1004 01:12:03.110 --> 01:12:04.360 Hey, what about Rich? 1005 01:12:31.638 --> 01:12:35.141 Yah! Is that all you've got? 1006 01:12:35.309 --> 01:12:37.894 Oh. Oh, one more? 1007 01:12:39.897 --> 01:12:42.190 Ha, ha, ha. Classic. 1008 01:12:51.158 --> 01:12:52.909 Guys! Rich! 1009 01:12:53.077 --> 01:12:56.079 Rich, I got your clothes. Hurry up. 1010 01:12:58.165 --> 01:13:00.875 Yah! Come on, come on, come on! 1011 01:13:01.043 --> 01:13:02.835 Okay, go, go. 1012 01:13:10.469 --> 01:13:12.512 Goddamn truck drivers. 1013 01:13:12.679 --> 01:13:14.180 Where are we going? 1014 01:13:14.556 --> 01:13:16.516 We can go to my dad's cabin. 1015 01:13:16.683 --> 01:13:20.353 I can go there anytime I want as long as I don't tell Mom where it is. 1016 01:13:20.896 --> 01:13:24.107 You know what, I just, um... I wanna go home. 1017 01:13:24.274 --> 01:13:26.692 You know, you're the one who started this. 1018 01:13:27.736 --> 01:13:28.945 Me? 1019 01:13:29.113 --> 01:13:30.947 Yeah, you. 1020 01:13:31.115 --> 01:13:34.325 You're the geek who, in front of the entire school, our friends and family... 1021 01:13:34.493 --> 01:13:37.495 ...declared your love for someone you don't know a thing about. 1022 01:13:37.788 --> 01:13:40.373 He knows a lot about you. Quiz him. 1023 01:13:41.583 --> 01:13:45.795 He knows your locker combo. He knows your favorite anti-perspirant. 1024 01:13:46.296 --> 01:13:48.047 He knows your blood type. 1025 01:13:48.215 --> 01:13:52.760 Okay, I hate to remind you this, Beth, but you said it was sweet. 1026 01:13:53.971 --> 01:13:57.849 You did. Oh, my God, and you came to my house. 1027 01:13:58.016 --> 01:14:01.269 If you didn't think it was sweet, why would you come to my house? 1028 01:14:01.437 --> 01:14:03.062 What do you think, super genius? 1029 01:14:03.230 --> 01:14:04.689 We thought it would be funny. 1030 01:14:09.153 --> 01:14:10.987 Oh. Okay. 1031 01:14:15.534 --> 01:14:19.120 Are you just gonna keep bleeding? Yeah, for about 3 days. 1032 01:14:19.580 --> 01:14:21.747 Just put your head back. 1033 01:14:22.875 --> 01:14:25.751 Now it's dripping down my throat. Here. 1034 01:14:25.919 --> 01:14:28.796 Stick these up there. They're super absorbent. 1035 01:14:51.612 --> 01:14:55.740 Listen, about what Cammy said before. 1036 01:14:56.158 --> 01:14:58.493 She thought it would be funny. 1037 01:15:00.287 --> 01:15:04.790 I mean, we all thought it would be a fun thing to do. 1038 01:15:07.419 --> 01:15:10.087 Guess I did think it would be a little funny. 1039 01:15:12.132 --> 01:15:13.508 I'm sorry. 1040 01:15:15.636 --> 01:15:18.179 Guys tell me they love me all the time. 1041 01:15:18.597 --> 01:15:21.724 And it's usually because they want something. 1042 01:15:24.228 --> 01:15:27.813 Well, it was kind of funny, right? 1043 01:15:29.691 --> 01:15:30.858 Ha, ha, ha. 1044 01:15:32.945 --> 01:15:36.113 Please, take those out now. Your wish. 1045 01:15:44.039 --> 01:15:45.873 Can I say something personal? 1046 01:15:46.208 --> 01:15:47.542 Sure. 1047 01:15:48.502 --> 01:15:50.503 You smell like a dead homeless guy. 1048 01:15:52.339 --> 01:15:56.175 Yeah, it's probably my shirt. There's hummus. 1049 01:15:56.426 --> 01:15:57.885 Take it off. 1050 01:15:58.095 --> 01:16:00.513 Oh, no, I can leave it on, it's fine. 1051 01:16:00.931 --> 01:16:03.849 I'm not gonna molest you. Take it off. 1052 01:16:06.645 --> 01:16:08.938 Take it off, take it off. 1053 01:16:17.281 --> 01:16:19.699 Let me just air it out a little. 1054 01:16:20.450 --> 01:16:22.159 Oh, shit! 1055 01:16:28.083 --> 01:16:29.292 Sorry. 1056 01:16:40.804 --> 01:16:44.223 Okay, it was somewhere around here. You can stop. 1057 01:16:53.734 --> 01:16:56.110 Oh, my God. What? 1058 01:16:58.113 --> 01:16:59.947 Really? Dude. 1059 01:17:01.617 --> 01:17:03.576 I think those are his lucky underpants. 1060 01:17:07.414 --> 01:17:09.123 Give me my poncho. 1061 01:17:10.417 --> 01:17:12.418 Give me my poncho. Oh, my God. 1062 01:17:13.211 --> 01:17:16.088 What are you doing? You're so mean. 1063 01:17:16.256 --> 01:17:17.590 What? 1064 01:17:17.758 --> 01:17:19.675 Actually, I got these as a gag gift... 1065 01:17:19.843 --> 01:17:22.094 ...so it's appropriate that you're laughing. 1066 01:17:22.262 --> 01:17:26.098 No, it's good, I'm happy that you're... You guys got the joke! Good one. 1067 01:17:26.266 --> 01:17:28.643 Get in here. No, purple's not really my color. 1068 01:17:28.810 --> 01:17:32.188 It's fuchsia and it's my favorite color. Sorry. 1069 01:17:32.356 --> 01:17:33.939 That's fine. Okay. 1070 01:17:34.107 --> 01:17:35.816 There we go. All better. 1071 01:17:35.984 --> 01:17:38.778 How do I look? Good? Great. 1072 01:17:42.699 --> 01:17:45.868 Ha, ha, ha. That pink poncho's sort of cute. 1073 01:17:46.703 --> 01:17:47.828 What? 1074 01:17:49.039 --> 01:17:50.498 Goddamn Kevin. 1075 01:17:50.666 --> 01:17:54.460 Because of you I am in the middle of nowhere looking for a shirt. 1076 01:17:54.628 --> 01:17:57.755 Oh, yeah, no, goddamn that Kevin. 1077 01:17:59.466 --> 01:18:01.467 Why do you even go out with him, anyway? 1078 01:18:02.427 --> 01:18:06.681 In the beginning, he was sweet. He made me laugh. 1079 01:18:07.307 --> 01:18:10.559 And when he smiled... He was really hot. 1080 01:18:13.021 --> 01:18:14.480 I don't know. 1081 01:18:14.648 --> 01:18:19.568 Guess it was the way other girls looked at me when I was with him. 1082 01:18:20.195 --> 01:18:21.821 I felt proud. 1083 01:18:22.322 --> 01:18:27.993 Thought I was the lucky girl this big, strong Army guy chose. 1084 01:18:28.495 --> 01:18:30.329 It didn't bother you that he was an a...? 1085 01:18:30.497 --> 01:18:31.539 An asshole? 1086 01:18:31.707 --> 01:18:33.416 Yeah. 1087 01:18:33.917 --> 01:18:37.169 I just made excuses for him because... 1088 01:18:39.089 --> 01:18:41.340 ...it was nice to feel wanted. 1089 01:18:41.675 --> 01:18:43.426 See, I don't get that... 1090 01:18:43.593 --> 01:18:47.513 ...because there are so many guys who would love to be with you. 1091 01:18:47.681 --> 01:18:50.641 Yeah. For a night, maybe. 1092 01:18:54.688 --> 01:18:58.315 So why did you do it? The speech? 1093 01:18:59.234 --> 01:19:00.693 I don't know. 1094 01:19:01.528 --> 01:19:02.945 It's just... 1095 01:19:04.239 --> 01:19:06.532 You're the head cheerleader... 1096 01:19:06.700 --> 01:19:08.534 ...and I'm the captain of the debate team. 1097 01:19:08.702 --> 01:19:13.289 And I know it's ridiculous to think that you and me would even... 1098 01:19:16.126 --> 01:19:18.502 I guess I just wanted to talk to you. 1099 01:19:20.756 --> 01:19:23.507 And I never did, and then I realized... 1100 01:19:24.885 --> 01:19:27.428 ...that was my last chance, you know? 1101 01:19:29.431 --> 01:19:31.307 Well, I'm glad you did. 1102 01:19:35.520 --> 01:19:38.314 Look! Your shirt. 1103 01:19:39.858 --> 01:19:43.068 Oh, uh, um... 1104 01:19:47.073 --> 01:19:48.407 Oh. 1105 01:19:49.534 --> 01:19:50.868 Aw. 1106 01:19:51.119 --> 01:19:54.246 Hi! Oh, you're so cute! Hi, little fella. 1107 01:19:54.581 --> 01:19:57.833 Hey, no. No, that's not food. Hi, cutie! 1108 01:19:58.001 --> 01:20:00.252 That's my shirt. Okay, so just, uh... 1109 01:20:09.554 --> 01:20:10.721 He looked at me! 1110 01:20:10.889 --> 01:20:14.016 He looked right at me! He's gonna eat me! 1111 01:20:23.318 --> 01:20:25.820 Whoo! Party! 1112 01:20:39.376 --> 01:20:41.043 Smells like death in here. 1113 01:20:41.211 --> 01:20:45.589 My dad just bought all this stuff. He's never killed anything. 1114 01:20:45.757 --> 01:20:47.883 They are kind of cute, huh? Rawr. 1115 01:20:48.969 --> 01:20:51.136 Dude, you look ridiculous. 1116 01:20:51.304 --> 01:20:53.472 Well, what am I supposed to do? I don't... 1117 01:20:53.640 --> 01:20:54.682 Treece, darling... 1118 01:20:54.850 --> 01:20:57.017 would you get this lovely lady something to wear? 1119 01:20:57.185 --> 01:20:58.561 Yeah, try the bedroom. 1120 01:20:58.812 --> 01:21:00.646 Okay, who wants a drink? 1121 01:21:00.814 --> 01:21:03.148 I do, please. I want one. 1122 01:21:03.984 --> 01:21:05.609 Vodka! Hee, hee. 1123 01:21:14.494 --> 01:21:16.161 Okay, a toast. 1124 01:21:16.621 --> 01:21:19.707 You know what's weird? I didn't give this to him. 1125 01:21:20.584 --> 01:21:25.170 Anyway, to the world's greatest night. 1126 01:21:25.338 --> 01:21:27.172 Yeah. Whoo! 1127 01:21:36.016 --> 01:21:38.809 Wow. Look, it's almost morning. 1128 01:21:40.145 --> 01:21:43.355 Does anyone wanna come watch the sunrise with me? 1129 01:21:44.190 --> 01:21:45.482 Yeah. 1130 01:21:59.164 --> 01:22:00.831 Hey. 1131 01:22:01.917 --> 01:22:04.001 Hey, can I ask you something? 1132 01:22:04.669 --> 01:22:05.878 What? 1133 01:22:06.296 --> 01:22:08.464 It's about your brother. 1134 01:22:10.133 --> 01:22:11.550 What about him? 1135 01:22:12.719 --> 01:22:14.637 What was his name? 1136 01:22:15.805 --> 01:22:17.139 David. 1137 01:22:18.558 --> 01:22:20.059 What was he like? 1138 01:22:21.478 --> 01:22:24.188 He was already sick when I was born. 1139 01:22:24.564 --> 01:22:27.650 Died when I was 2. He was 12. 1140 01:22:28.902 --> 01:22:31.070 I don't remember him at all. 1141 01:22:31.571 --> 01:22:35.699 There's this picture of me visiting him at the hospital... 1142 01:22:35.867 --> 01:22:39.119 ...and it's like he's just some sick kid. 1143 01:22:39.287 --> 01:22:44.083 It's the big, dramatic tragedy of my life, and I wasn't even there. 1144 01:22:44.709 --> 01:22:47.795 Yeah, but you were there. 1145 01:22:48.338 --> 01:22:51.048 I mean, maybe you don't remember... 1146 01:22:51.758 --> 01:22:53.592 ...but I'll bet it meant a lot to him. 1147 01:22:54.427 --> 01:22:57.388 Thank you. That was very sweet. 1148 01:23:07.273 --> 01:23:09.608 "Say hello to my little friend!" 1149 01:23:09.776 --> 01:23:11.443 Ha, ha, ha. Wow. 1150 01:23:11.611 --> 01:23:12.903 What? 1151 01:23:13.071 --> 01:23:16.532 Scarface. Pacino, '82, De Palma. 1152 01:23:18.576 --> 01:23:19.868 Look. 1153 01:23:24.624 --> 01:23:27.918 "Fill your hands, you son of a bitch!" 1154 01:23:32.465 --> 01:23:33.507 What? 1155 01:23:35.343 --> 01:23:39.304 It's John Wayne. It's John Wayne, 1969, True Grit. 1156 01:23:40.140 --> 01:23:42.641 Oh, my God! I peed, I peed, I peed! 1157 01:23:45.020 --> 01:23:47.646 No, it's not... It's not that funny. 1158 01:23:47.814 --> 01:23:50.566 No, it is, because you... 1159 01:23:53.695 --> 01:23:55.487 Why, because you think I'm gay? 1160 01:23:58.324 --> 01:23:59.700 You think incorrectly. 1161 01:23:59.868 --> 01:24:02.661 The lady doth protest too much, methinks. 1162 01:24:02.829 --> 01:24:03.871 What? 1163 01:24:04.414 --> 01:24:06.165 Like you know Shakespeare. 1164 01:24:06.833 --> 01:24:10.085 Queen Gertrude to Hamlet, Act III, Scene 2... 1165 01:24:10.253 --> 01:24:14.506 ...1602, William Shakespeare, or possibly Edward de Vere. 1166 01:24:15.216 --> 01:24:16.550 Wow. 1167 01:24:16.760 --> 01:24:18.177 That's... Wow. 1168 01:24:18.344 --> 01:24:20.012 Yeah. 1169 01:24:22.182 --> 01:24:24.266 Wow, look at the sun. 1170 01:24:24.434 --> 01:24:26.268 It's so big and pretty. 1171 01:24:26.436 --> 01:24:29.021 Well, that's an optical illusion. 1172 01:24:29.189 --> 01:24:31.857 There are certain things that appear larger... 1173 01:24:32.025 --> 01:24:34.568 ...in context to the objects around them. 1174 01:24:36.571 --> 01:24:38.989 You know everything, Denis Cooverman. 1175 01:24:39.449 --> 01:24:43.702 No, no, not everything. There are some things I don't know. 1176 01:24:44.287 --> 01:24:45.996 Multiple things. 1177 01:24:46.539 --> 01:24:49.958 Well, I'll tell you one thing you know nothing about. 1178 01:24:50.126 --> 01:24:52.961 When a girl says the sunrise is big or pretty... 1179 01:24:53.129 --> 01:24:54.546 ...you know what you say? 1180 01:24:55.673 --> 01:24:58.050 Not what I said, presumably? 1181 01:24:58.218 --> 01:24:59.510 You don't say anything. 1182 01:24:59.677 --> 01:25:01.804 You just put your arm around her. 1183 01:25:05.934 --> 01:25:08.268 You know, just something for future reference. 1184 01:25:10.563 --> 01:25:14.024 For future reference, I'll remember that. 1185 01:25:19.739 --> 01:25:23.325 If you're not gay, why so unchubby in the shower? 1186 01:25:23.493 --> 01:25:26.954 Heh, heh, l... I was just being cool. 1187 01:25:27.122 --> 01:25:30.249 It was uncool of you to notice. 1188 01:25:30.875 --> 01:25:33.502 No 18-year-old boy is that cool. 1189 01:25:33.670 --> 01:25:36.505 I am that cool. 1190 01:25:37.590 --> 01:25:40.092 Nobody cares if you're gay. 1191 01:25:41.970 --> 01:25:43.262 I'm not. 1192 01:25:43.429 --> 01:25:47.975 Nobody cares, so just be gay already! 1193 01:25:50.019 --> 01:25:54.439 You, Richard Munsch, have never been with a woman. 1194 01:25:54.983 --> 01:25:56.650 Never been with one. 1195 01:25:56.818 --> 01:25:58.235 Wha? 1196 01:26:00.113 --> 01:26:01.446 Um... 1197 01:26:12.041 --> 01:26:13.375 Watch... 1198 01:26:13.543 --> 01:26:14.877 And learn. 1199 01:26:19.674 --> 01:26:22.926 That's nice, it's nice. Yeah. 1200 01:26:23.094 --> 01:26:25.137 You cool? Uh... 1201 01:26:25.305 --> 01:26:28.390 Long as everyone else is cool. 1202 01:26:30.435 --> 01:26:33.812 Hey, there is my chest hair. 1203 01:26:35.148 --> 01:26:37.482 Yeah, I'm liking that. I am, uh... 1204 01:26:39.944 --> 01:26:42.362 Yeah, definitely reacted to that. 1205 01:26:43.531 --> 01:26:44.865 Uh... 1206 01:26:45.783 --> 01:26:49.077 Hey, this is, wow, great, you know, really top-notch... 1207 01:26:49.245 --> 01:26:53.207 ...but I left my latex sheaths back at the house, so... 1208 01:26:53.374 --> 01:26:54.416 That's okay. 1209 01:26:54.584 --> 01:26:56.001 Treece's got some, don't you, Treece? 1210 01:26:56.169 --> 01:26:57.669 I've got gobs. 1211 01:26:57.837 --> 01:26:59.129 Gobs? 1212 01:27:11.517 --> 01:27:15.020 Well, that was expedient. 1213 01:27:15.355 --> 01:27:17.856 But at least we know you're not gay. 1214 01:27:18.024 --> 01:27:21.235 Yeah, tell that to my dad. What's his number? 1215 01:27:28.284 --> 01:27:30.077 So do you still love me? 1216 01:27:30.912 --> 01:27:32.037 Yeah. 1217 01:27:32.205 --> 01:27:35.040 Am I everything you've ever masturbated to? 1218 01:27:35.708 --> 01:27:37.793 No, it's not like that with you. 1219 01:27:37.961 --> 01:27:41.797 I mean, you're different than I imagined. 1220 01:27:42.382 --> 01:27:45.300 You're real. 1221 01:27:46.469 --> 01:27:47.678 And scary. 1222 01:27:49.222 --> 01:27:51.932 And exciting and fun. 1223 01:27:52.183 --> 01:27:54.893 But I thought you said this wasn't fun. 1224 01:27:58.022 --> 01:28:01.066 All my memories from high school are from tonight. 1225 01:28:06.406 --> 01:28:08.198 You gotta get out more often. 1226 01:28:08.992 --> 01:28:11.159 Yeah. Yeah. 1227 01:28:12.662 --> 01:28:14.371 Where are you going to college? 1228 01:28:14.539 --> 01:28:15.914 NYU. 1229 01:28:16.916 --> 01:28:19.626 What are you majoring in? Acting. 1230 01:28:19.794 --> 01:28:22.296 Shut up. Shut up! Mm-hm. Yeah. 1231 01:28:22.463 --> 01:28:23.672 Me too. Really? 1232 01:28:23.840 --> 01:28:25.299 Yeah, and directing. Wow. 1233 01:28:25.925 --> 01:28:28.802 If you wanna be an actress, why weren't you in Drama Club? 1234 01:28:29.721 --> 01:28:32.806 Social survival. That's a good call. 1235 01:28:32.974 --> 01:28:34.641 Mm-hm. 1236 01:28:34.809 --> 01:28:37.644 So who is your favorite director? 1237 01:28:37.812 --> 01:28:40.063 Hello, it was a threesome. 1238 01:28:41.774 --> 01:28:43.442 Wow. 1239 01:28:44.777 --> 01:28:47.362 I know high school wasn't great for you. 1240 01:28:48.448 --> 01:28:50.198 No, it was... 1241 01:28:51.284 --> 01:28:52.617 ...completely awful. 1242 01:28:55.496 --> 01:28:59.207 You see, the thing is, high school was great for me. 1243 01:29:00.626 --> 01:29:03.295 I had a great, great ride. 1244 01:29:06.132 --> 01:29:07.799 And now it's over. 1245 01:29:10.762 --> 01:29:14.389 You, you're gonna go off and become a doctor... 1246 01:29:14.557 --> 01:29:18.226 ...and cure cancer or whatever new diseases there are. 1247 01:29:19.228 --> 01:29:20.604 But this? 1248 01:29:22.523 --> 01:29:24.649 This is about it for me. 1249 01:29:27.111 --> 01:29:31.031 Everything in my life from here on out is just gonna be... 1250 01:29:35.203 --> 01:29:36.703 ...ordinary. 1251 01:29:39.374 --> 01:29:40.665 Wow. 1252 01:29:40.833 --> 01:29:44.086 That's such... 1253 01:29:44.670 --> 01:29:46.296 ...bullshit. 1254 01:29:46.839 --> 01:29:48.173 Heh. 1255 01:29:48.466 --> 01:29:50.509 Because the Beth Cooper I know? 1256 01:29:50.676 --> 01:29:53.512 The one that I now know... 1257 01:29:53.679 --> 01:29:59.184 ...is the most alive person I've ever met. 1258 01:30:01.646 --> 01:30:03.480 The Beth Cooper I know... 1259 01:30:03.648 --> 01:30:05.357 ...she's not gonna have an ordinary life. 1260 01:30:05.525 --> 01:30:07.859 She's gonna have an amazing life. 1261 01:30:08.027 --> 01:30:09.903 Slightly insane... 1262 01:30:10.071 --> 01:30:12.989 ...but never uninteresting... 1263 01:30:14.200 --> 01:30:16.660 ...always ass-kicking... 1264 01:30:17.912 --> 01:30:19.204 ...life. 1265 01:30:20.206 --> 01:30:22.707 How do you know that? 1266 01:30:24.043 --> 01:30:26.628 Because I'm a very smart guy. 1267 01:30:42.478 --> 01:30:43.895 All right, thank you very much. 1268 01:30:44.063 --> 01:30:45.105 Any luck? 1269 01:30:45.273 --> 01:30:47.732 No, they can't send anyone out till next week. 1270 01:30:47.900 --> 01:30:48.900 Explain this to me: 1271 01:30:49.068 --> 01:30:50.986 How do you put a microwave into the wall? 1272 01:30:51.154 --> 01:30:52.737 God only knows. 1273 01:30:52.905 --> 01:30:55.824 Oh, hi. I need to get my kitchen repaired. 1274 01:30:59.245 --> 01:31:01.788 Haven't I seen that car before? 1275 01:31:03.082 --> 01:31:04.416 Oh! 1276 01:31:04.584 --> 01:31:07.461 Denis! What happened to you? 1277 01:31:07.628 --> 01:31:09.838 I'm okay. I'm okay. 1278 01:31:14.969 --> 01:31:18.680 I can't talk about this. I'm gonna go make pancakes. 1279 01:31:20.391 --> 01:31:22.851 Or did she already make you breakfast? 1280 01:31:26.481 --> 01:31:27.814 Wow. 1281 01:31:30.485 --> 01:31:33.236 I talked to your dad, Rich. Yeah? 1282 01:31:33.404 --> 01:31:35.989 You might wanna hang out here for the rest of the day. 1283 01:31:36.157 --> 01:31:38.408 Okay. And tomorrow. 1284 01:31:38.576 --> 01:31:42.245 Okay. You know, just until it's safe. 1285 01:31:42.497 --> 01:31:44.331 Got it. Thanks. 1286 01:31:48.127 --> 01:31:51.421 I hope you had fun. I did. 1287 01:31:52.965 --> 01:31:56.009 You know we have to punish you, somehow? 1288 01:31:56.177 --> 01:31:59.471 Yeah. Figured that. 1289 01:31:59.639 --> 01:32:02.140 What do they do these days? Do they still ground you? 1290 01:32:02.308 --> 01:32:04.893 I don't even know. I don't know either. 1291 01:32:05.061 --> 01:32:06.478 But... 1292 01:32:07.230 --> 01:32:10.982 ...whatever it is, it was worth it. 1293 01:32:13.361 --> 01:32:15.111 Let's not tell your mother that. 1294 01:32:15.279 --> 01:32:16.530 Yeah. 1295 01:32:18.074 --> 01:32:21.243 We can discuss it inside. Okay. 1296 01:32:32.004 --> 01:32:33.296 So... 1297 01:32:35.466 --> 01:32:38.093 Good luck with Stanford and everything. 1298 01:32:38.970 --> 01:32:43.890 Yeah. You know, you too, with everything. 1299 01:32:46.769 --> 01:32:48.728 We should do this again sometime. 1300 01:32:50.356 --> 01:32:51.606 Sure. 1301 01:32:53.859 --> 01:32:55.569 Yeah, sure. 1302 01:33:10.751 --> 01:33:12.877 You're getting better at that. 1303 01:33:13.045 --> 01:33:14.546 I was bad before? 1304 01:33:22.054 --> 01:33:23.388 Thank you... 1305 01:33:26.225 --> 01:33:27.809 ...for loving me. 1306 01:33:33.274 --> 01:33:35.150 What's not to love? 1307 01:33:45.661 --> 01:33:47.245 You remember that. 1308 01:33:53.502 --> 01:33:54.753 Hey, Beth. 1309 01:33:56.589 --> 01:33:59.591 See you at the reunion. Yes. 1310 01:34:00.134 --> 01:34:03.720 If we're both still single, I'll marry you. 1311 01:34:05.598 --> 01:34:07.182 That's a promise. 1312 01:34:22.114 --> 01:34:23.531 My lady. 1313 01:34:28.954 --> 01:34:30.455 Drive safe. 1314 01:34:37.546 --> 01:34:40.048 So guess what? Hm? 1315 01:34:40.841 --> 01:34:42.384 I think I'm gay. 1316 01:34:42.885 --> 01:34:44.219 Yeah? 1317 01:34:44.387 --> 01:34:46.846 Oh, that's great, congratulations! 1318 01:34:47.056 --> 01:34:50.517 Dude. I'm not gay for you. 1319 01:34:50.810 --> 01:34:52.644 Yeah, no, I know. 1320 01:34:53.479 --> 01:34:56.022 You know, I could be Bi. Bi? 1321 01:34:56.190 --> 01:34:58.983 I was with two gorgeous ladies last night. 1322 01:34:59.151 --> 01:35:01.277 That's a lot more heterosexual than you. 1323 01:35:01.445 --> 01:35:03.279 Well, hey, I did kiss Beth Cooper. 1324 01:35:03.447 --> 01:35:05.490 Now you gotta take it to the next level. 1325 01:35:05.658 --> 01:35:08.243 I will. I'm not really gonna wait for the reunion. 1326 01:35:08.411 --> 01:35:10.954 I'll leave a message on Facebook, ask her out. 1327 01:35:11.122 --> 01:35:12.914 No, it has to be a grand gesture. 1328 01:35:13.082 --> 01:35:14.999 Like what? You know where she lives. 1329 01:35:15.167 --> 01:35:17.836 Go to her house, bring a boom box, wait for her. 1330 01:35:18.003 --> 01:35:19.421 That's stalking, Rich. 1331 01:35:19.588 --> 01:35:22.298 No, it's not stalking if you love the person. 1332 01:35:22.466 --> 01:35:26.511 Grab her and take her someplace where it can be just the two of you. 1333 01:35:26.679 --> 01:35:27.971 Now, that's kidnapping. 1334 01:35:28.139 --> 01:35:29.514 It's romantic. 1335 01:35:31.058 --> 01:35:34.853 Okay, first we're gonna need some rope and duct tape.